{ "dsistrips": { "header": { "title": "The Dilbert Strip Index (DSI) Strip Descriptions", "version": "5.0.2", "author": "Byron F. Martin", "website": "http://www.bfmartin.ca/", "copyright": "1999 - 2018", "description": [ "Released under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.5 Canada License.", "See http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.5/ca/", "", "Thanks to everyone who contributed to this index." ] }, "strip": [ { "date": "1989-04-16", "subject": "Pun", "note": "Dilbert's and Dogbert's first appearance. The first strip.", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to operate along more classic lines, like Doctor Frankenstein's lab.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Frankenstein", "laboratory", "hunch", "Igor", "brain", "fetch", "gizmo", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1989-04-17", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dilbert recalls when ice cream cones cost only fifteen cents.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "ice cream", "price", "date", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1989-04-18", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert decides to dedicate his life to the less fortunate.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "less fortunate", "homeless", "hunger", "real estate", "70's" ] }, { "date": "1989-04-19", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dogbert shoots skeet with toast.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "toaster", "skeet", "play with food", "pull", "slingshot", "twang" ] }, { "date": "1989-04-20", "subject": "Presentation", "note": "The Boss's first mention.", "synopsis": "Dilbert is nervous about a presentation to the Big Boss and asks for tips from Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "nervous", "tip", "coin", "self-conscious", "eye contact", "acronym", "jangle", "pocket" ] }, { "date": "1989-04-21", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows Dogbert his new invention: glasses that screen out unpleasant sights.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "invention", "screen", "unpleasant sight", "glasses", "antenna", "workbench", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1989-04-22", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows how staining liquids are attracted to new ties.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "scientific principle", "soup", "necktie", "Isaac Newton", "bowl", "discover", "attraction", "spill" ] }, { "date": "1989-04-23", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells a pharmacist a hair-growth formula has had an unusual effect on him.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "pharmacist", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "pharmacy", "hair-growth formula", "side effect", "prescription", "deed", "drug store" ] }, { "date": "1989-04-24", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "The Engineer's Ball will be black tie, Dilbert learns.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Engineer's ball", "black tie", "tuxedo", "pants", "snide comment", "borrow", "mailbox", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1989-04-25", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains the details of a tuxedo to Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "tuxedo", "kumberbuzle", "sweatband", "pen", "cummerbund", "pocket", "bow tie" ] }, { "date": "1989-04-26", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert walks down an empty hallway beside a stranger and hates it.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "etiquette", "hallway", "Rockettes", "ladies room", "dignity", "janitor" ] }, { "date": "1989-04-27", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert practises laughing.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "laugh", "sneeze", "practise", "alone", "mirror" ] }, { "date": "1989-04-28", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert panics at a store and buys everything in sight.", "characters": [ "clerk", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "store", "panic", "mouthwash", "gum", "deodorant", "lipstick", "Rolaids", "Krazy Glue" ] }, { "date": "1989-04-29", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert realises the hairs on the back of his hand never get any longer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "observation", "hair", "back of hand", "wisdom", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1989-04-30", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Mother Nature objects when she sees Dilbert raking leaves.", "characters": [ "Mother Nature", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "leaf", "rake", "locust", "spring cleaning", "housekeeping" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-01", "subject": "Family", "note": "Phil's first appearance.", "synopsis": "Phil makes his last stop of the day to catch Dilbert drinking old milk.", "characters": [ "Phil", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "milk", "expiration date", "heck", "hell", "refrigerator", "pitchspoon" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-02", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Phil discuss minor infractions, like taking extra ketchup packages.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Phil" ], "keywords": [ "heck", "figure of speech", "infraction", "McDonald's", "ketchup", "pitchspoon" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-03", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert thinks Phil must have an awesome name, being ruler of heck.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Phil" ], "keywords": [ "heck", "Prince of Insufficient Light", "name", "pitchspoon" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-04", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert proves attractive, single women exist only in Volkswagen Rabbits and aerobics classes.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "mathematical proof", "single women", "Volkswagen Rabbit", "aerobics", "Isaac Newton", "Vanna White", "workbench", "calculator", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-05", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells Dilbert to see a lawyer before unleashing his invention on mankind.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "lawyer" ], "keywords": [ "invention", "lawsuit", "sue", "advice" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-06", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders why people are protesting building more roads.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "road", "construction", "protest", "highway", "sign", "car" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-07", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert visit a fancy restaurant but don't meet the dress code.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "maitre'd" ], "keywords": [ "restaurant", "jacket", "embarrassment", "beaver hat", "clown feet", "costume" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-08", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Aliens ask Dogbert why dogs eat from dirty bowls while humans use plates.", "characters": [ "alien", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "plate", "bowl", "poodle", "rebellion", "France", "pencil" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-09", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert writes a business management book, \"Managing in a Bureaucracy.\"", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "book", "author", "bureaucracy", "compromise", "lecture circuit", "manuscript" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-10", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "note": "The title strip of the first Dilbert collection.", "synopsis": "Dogbert writes a chapter on time management.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "book", "author", "chapter", "time management", "always postpone meetings with time wasting morons", "advice" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-11", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "A sales attendant at Electrode Hut and Dilbert try to outdo each other.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "Electron Hut", "electronics", "niad pulse converter", "anza brush", "bluff", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-12", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains he and Dilbert will be considered married by common law if they stay together for seven years.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "common law", "possession", "tasteful", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-13", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert thinks it's awkward to walk past a stranger in a hallway.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "hallway", "etiquette", "carpet", "stranger", "eye contact", "injury" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-14", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets an itchy nose in the middle of a presentation. He unsuccessfully scratches it with his pointer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "presentation", "itch", "nose", "scratch", "paramedics", "pointer", "gizmo", "injury" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-15", "subject": "Creativity", "synopsis": "Dogbert gives his opinion about Dilbert's new poem.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "poem", "Shakespeare", "one thousand monkeys", "typewriter", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-16", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert doesn't know what other dogs do when they get together.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "friend", "sniff", "run around in circles", "Scrabble" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-17", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Dogbert's opinion on his new fashion statement: three pens instead of two.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "pen", "pocket protector", "fashion statement" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-18", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert flies a model airplane and Dogbert shoots it down.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "model plane", "model missile", "air space", "violation", "remote control" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-19", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dogbert complains about people who use dog expressions like \"She's a real dog.\"", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "gripe", "pet peeve", "in the dog house", "dog's life", "fireplace" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-20", "subject": "Office Politics", "note": "Alice's first mention.", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Dogbert how he should act when someone shows off a new baby.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "baby", "precious", "bug-ugly", "advice" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-21", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "A woman drops a book titled \"Attractive Women's Secret Guide to Avoiding Dilbert.\"", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "attractive woman", "sic", "decode", "mayday", "walkie-talkie" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-22", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert has an ad in the paper for \"Doctor Dogbert's Seminar on Developing Self-Confidence.\"", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "self-confidence", "seminar", "meek people", "newspaper", "advertisement" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-23", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Dogbert about his imaginary childhood friend.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "imaginary friend", "run away", "snide comment", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-24", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dogbert phones Dilbert to tell him the furniture has been possessed by mischievous spirits.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Upholsterygeist" ], "keywords": [ "furniture", "possessed", "spirit" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-25", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dilbert exercises the furniture spirits.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Upholsterygeist" ], "keywords": [ "furniture", "possessed", "spirit", "Jane Fonda", "exorcist" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-26", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert goes through a door and somebody is behind far enough to make it awkward to hold the door.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "door", "etiquette", "rude", "stairway" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-27", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dogbert isn't sure whether Gorbachev really exists.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Glasnost", "Soviet", "Gorbachev", "coffee" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-28", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains to Dilbert how reading can make you go broke.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "book", "read", "knowledge is power", "power corrupts", "advice" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-29", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "The post office complains to Dilbert about Dogbert attacking mail carriers.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "mail carrier", "post office", "tranquiliser dart", "migration pattern", "homing transmitter", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-30", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Dogbert gives his opinion on Dilbert's new clip-on necktie.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "tie", "clip-on", "GQ magazine", "sarcasm" ] }, { "date": "1989-05-31", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "A computer simulation shows it's possible to create life from common household chemicals.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "computer simulation", "create life", "household chemical", "ethics", "religion" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-01", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dogbert says dogs can sense earthquakes before they happen.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "earthquake", "prescience", "sense", "predict", "entertain", "workbench", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-02", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dogbert tries to move a ball with his mind.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "telekinesis", "brain", "levitate", "chair" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-03", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks Dilbert for a preference: winning a million bucks or getting hit with a dead mole in the lips.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "million dollars", "mole", "hypothetical", "choice" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-04", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert works on Sharon's home and gets to call it a date.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "bathtub", "rain gutter", "sprinkler", "engine", "lunch", "toolbox" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-05", "subject": "Sports", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to take sky diving lessons.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "sky diving", "thud", "lesson", "advice" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-06", "subject": "Sports", "synopsis": "Dogbert doesn't think Dilbert is manly enough for sky diving.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "courage", "sky diving", "lesson", "necktie", "manly", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-07", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert creates plans for a revolutionary home defence system.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "home defence system", "porcupine", "compliment", "doubt", "workbench" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-08", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for a detonator coil for a small nuclear device.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "Electrode Hut", "detonator coil", "nuclear device", "faint", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-09", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets a chain letter and is tempted to continue it.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "chain letter", "law", "stranger", "advice" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-10", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert invents a Dick Tracy watch.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Dick Tracy", "watch", "voices and pictures", "picture", "wristwatch" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-11", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert fetches Dilbert's slippers and is unhappy about it.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "fetch", "slippers", "bathrobe", "hedge clippers", "degrade" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-12", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "A woman over 35 has a greater chance of being killed by a terrorist than getting married, Dilbert reads.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "marriage", "terrorist", "probability" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-13", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "People walk differently when other people are watching, Dilbert observes.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "walk", "banjo legs", "watch", "self-conscious" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-14", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert have a pun war; I'm feeling a little hoarse.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "pun wars", "escalation", "hoarse", "colt", "gelding", "filly", "stirrup" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-15", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert invents holographic flowers and thinks it will save money in a relationship.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "holograph", "flower", "girlfriend", "invention", "remote control" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-16", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dogbert says it's lucky people's eyes are located on their heads.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "eye", "head", "ankle", "car", "dating", "species", "extinct" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-17", "subject": "Sports", "synopsis": "Dilbert learns tennis from Dogbert with mothballs.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "tennis", "ball", "mental game", "game", "regulation size", "confidence", "moth ball", "racquet", "racket" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-18", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert discovers the chemical that causes love.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "computer simulation", "chemical", "love", "marriage", "cure", "brain" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-19", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dogbert, out of flour, uses powder from Dilbert's lab to make cupcakes.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "flour", "powder", "cupcake", "Chevy", "analogy", "baking", "chef's hat" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-20", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dogbert's mutated cupcakes devoured the neighbour's Chevy.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "cupcake", "mutate", "Chevy", "devour", "baking", "chef's hat" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-21", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert composes a personals ad that may be too honest.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "personals-ad", "romance", "honesty", "species" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-22", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert has a \"flying dream.\"", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "dream", "fly", "crash", "wake", "pulleys", "hoist" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-23", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Dilbert left his laundry in the washing machine for too long.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "laundry", "washer", "chisel", "doughnut", "sculpt", "sleeve", "sport coat" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-24", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dogbert demonstrates the art of the pun: Dilbert's uncle, the famous biologist.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "demonstration", "biologist", "award", "sea anemone", "social life", "friend" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-25", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert goes to a video dating service and learns about special effects that can be added to his tape.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "video dating service", "film", "special effect", "Arnold Schwarzenegger", "dolphin", "sensitive" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-26", "subject": "Family", "saga": "The Grim Reaper visits Dilbert.", "synopsis": "The Grim Reaper visits Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Grim Reaper" ], "keywords": [ "visitor", "death", "UPS", "dress code", "scythe" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-27", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "The Grim Reaper mistakes Dilbert for Gilbert.", "characters": [ "Grim Reaper", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "death", "Gilbert", "mistaken identity", "scythe" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-28", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "The Grim Reaper, realising his mistake, wants to wait to see if Dilbert's number comes up.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Grim Reaper" ], "keywords": [ "death", "mistaken identity", "hang around", "scythe", "pester" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-29", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "While the Grim Reaper waits for Dilbert to die, Dilbert entertains the Grim Reaper with a story.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Grim Reaper" ], "keywords": [ "death", "hang around", "storytelling", "mistake", "scythe" ] }, { "date": "1989-06-30", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert's program proves pretty women have bad personalities.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "computer program", "women", "personality", "geek", "software bug" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-01", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Dogbert invents a Velcro shirt pocket that attaches to chest hairs.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "invention", "Velcro", "shirt pocket", "chest hair", "swim", "shower", "workbench" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-02", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Due to Dilbert's complaint about prison overcrowding, the governor sends a prisoner to stay at Dilbert's house.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Governor", "Bob the prisoner" ], "keywords": [ "prison", "strangler", "blunt object", "letter", "postage" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-03", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dogbert doesn't want to join the neighbourhood watch group.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "neighbourhood watch", "crime", "Bad Ed", "group leader", "flashlight", "sash" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-04", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dogbert thinks it dumb to elect the only known criminal as the leader of the neighbourhood crime watch.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "brick through a window", "group leader", "criminal", "newsletter", "flashlight", "sash" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-05", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert comes up with \"Jequirity\" as a Scrabble word.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "game", "Scrabble", "licorice", "vowel" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-06", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert says after ten years with the company, he gets a watch and lunch with his boss.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "company", "service time", "lunch", "watch" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-07", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert invents a stealth cloaking device.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "invention", "stealth", "cloaking device", "lose", "workbench" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-08", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Dilbert shops for a fine wool suit but is steered to a cheap nylon one.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "clothing clerk" ], "keywords": [ "wool suit", "clothing store", "nylon", "bell bottoms", "pioneer", "clothing rack" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-09", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "An alien offers to end hunger, poverty and disease on Earth.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "alien" ], "keywords": [ "alien", "Planet Moothron", "hunger", "poverty", "disease", "selfish", "spaceship" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-10", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Nature compensates for weaknesses like blindness, Dilbert tells Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "nature", "weakness", "blind", "hearing", "stupid" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-11", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert is stuck after the first line of a love poem.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "poem", "rhyme", "love", "wave-division multiplexor", "workbench" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-12", "subject": "Entrepreneur", "synopsis": "Dogbert creates a reusable newspaper with generic stories.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "newspaper", "generic", "reusable", "Pope", "Mideast" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-13", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Dogbert he asked two people for a date and got rejected.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "antisocial", "movie", "hang out" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-14", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Dogbert about the best potato he has eaten.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "boring", "Great Things I Have Eaten", "baked potato", "sarcasm" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-15", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "Dogbert gets a job as a spokesperson for a hair growth formula.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "job", "Harry's Hair Growth Solution", "spokesperson", "razor" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-16", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert says their owner\/pet contract has expired and brings a new one to sign.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "contract renewal", "owner\/pet contract", "obey", "command", "humiliate" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-17", "subject": "Science", "note": "Bob and Dawn's first mention.", "synopsis": "Dilbert runs a computer simulation to find out why the dinosaurs became extinct.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Bob", "Dawn" ], "keywords": [ "computer simulation", "dinosaur", "extinction", "hide", "logic" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-18", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert calls the exterminator to get rid of the dinosaurs.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "extinction", "dinosaur", "hide", "exterminator", "thesaurus", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-19", "subject": "Science", "note": "Bob and Dawn's first appearance.", "saga": "The dinosaurs show themselves.", "synopsis": "Bob and Dawn introduce themselves to prove Dilbert's theory dinosaurs aren't extinct.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "extinction", "dinosaur", "hide", "nobodysaurus" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-20", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets acquainted with the dinosaurs and learns their species.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Bob", "Dawn" ], "keywords": [ "nobodysaurus", "thesaurus", "old dinosaur joke", "Mesozoic Era" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-21", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dawn demands Bob eat Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dawn", "Bob", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "eat", "carnivore", "smite", "tail", "cramp" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-22", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "The dinosaurs can hide in Dilbert's house in exchange for not eating Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dawn", "Dilbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "hide", "eat", "nobodysaurus", "tennies", "trick", "sneakers" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-23", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "A bird hits Dilbert's front window and asks to be let through.", "characters": [ "bird", "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "window", "invisible", "force field", "water", "glass", "thirst" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-24", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Bob says the story dinosaurs were destroyed when a meteor hit Earth was highly exaggerated.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Bob", "Dawn", "Larry the dinosaur" ], "keywords": [ "extinction", "meteor", "collision", "destroy", "exaggerate" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-25", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Bob tells of Larry's brush with the meteor and becomes a new evolutionary chain of dinosaurs.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Dilbert", "Larry the dinosaur" ], "keywords": [ "meteor", "medical expense", "evolutionary chain", "duck-billed platypus" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-26", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains the house rules to the dinosaurs.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "rule", "hide", "light", "resident", "flesh" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-27", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert invents a barbecue without charcoal or lighter fluid.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "barbecue", "charcoal", "electric stove", "lighter fluid", "workbench", "tool", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-28", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert complains about Dilbert's snoring.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "snore", "recording", "whale song", "National Geographic", "kelp", "mammal", "tape player", "tape recorder" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-29", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert has nightmares so comes to bed with Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "nightmare", "bed", "covers", "pyjama top", "blanket", "mattress" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-30", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert discovers a subatomic civilisation through his microscope.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "microscope", "subatomic civilisation", "planet", "Minimus 6", "focus", "crunch" ] }, { "date": "1989-07-31", "subject": "Management", "note": "The Boss's first appearance.", "synopsis": "Dilbert meets his new boss and immediately comes to a misunderstanding.", "characters": [ "Neal Snow", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "new boss", "kneel", "contact lens" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-01", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert has a good laugh when Dilbert tells about how he misunderstood his boss's name \"Neal.\"", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "pun", "new boss", "Eatachair", "kneel" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-02", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert go to a restaurant where Dogbert violates the no pets rule.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Scaparotti's Restaurant", "ravioli", "garlic", "catsup", "Siamese cat", "fedora", "ketchup" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-03", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dogbert misunderstands Dilbert when he asks for a can of tennis balls.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "cannibal" ], "keywords": [ "tennis", "can of balls", "racquet" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-04", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert enjoys his coffee but fears the third-degree wrist burns from carrying it.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "coffee", "desk", "office", "alert", "shorts", "injury" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-05", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert demonstrates the art of telling a joke.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "beer", "cactus", "joke", "pattern", "timing" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-06", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert are accidentally transported to the land of overused phrases.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "trans-dimensional", "radio", "land of overused phrases" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-07", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dogbert wonders who he resembles -- Rin Tin Tin, Lassie or Benji.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Rin Tin Tin", "Lassie", "Benji", "furry egg", "inspirational boost", "mirror", "towel" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-08", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert says he has a disk drive and printer as options on his toaster.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "brochure", "Electronics Anonymous", "toaster", "emergency" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-09", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dilbert buys amethyst earrings for his mother's birthday.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "earring", "birthday", "amethyst", "atheist", "apology", "God" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-10", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert's invention will permanently connect the Earth to the moon.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "invention", "solid particle bridge", "Earth", "moon", "ice age", "warning label", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-11", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert joins the \"Perpetual Motion Club\" and learns the secret handshake.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Perpetual Motion Club", "secret handshake" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-12", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert has an urge to take two newspapers from a vending machine and only pay for one.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "newspaper", "thief", "vending machine", "money", "caught in the act" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-13", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert invents an efficient trash compactor.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "garbage", "trash compactor", "brick", "Sylvester Stallone", "stink", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-14", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert reads walking a dog is the best time to pick up women.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "walking a dog", "pick up women", "single male", "leash", "pick-up line" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-15", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "Dilbert watches television news where the management of Megaslime Corporation are accused of being hideous reptilian aliens.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "news reader" ], "keywords": [ "news", "television", "Megaslime Corporation", "reptilian", "alien", "spokesperson" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-16", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "Management of Megaslime Corporation deny they are reptilian aliens, according to the news.", "characters": [ "news reader", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "news", "television", "Megaslime Corporation", "management", "reptilian", "alien", "bug", "gerbil", "Merv Griffin", "game show" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-17", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dogbert wonders if a pound of pasta and a pound of antipasto would cancel each other out.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "food", "philosophy", "Socrates", "Plato", "pasta", "antipasto", "debate" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-18", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert builds a robot dog and Dogbert thinks it's a replacement.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "robot dog" ], "keywords": [ "robot dog", "devil dog", "serve", "master" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-19", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert invents a device that can calculate the odds of any event.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "odds", "calculate", "Barry Manilow", "Carnegie Hall", "NBC", "docudrama", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-20", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "The bear skin rug kit Dilbert ordered arrives at the door.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "bear", "sales manager" ], "keywords": [ "bear skin rug", "kit", "mail order", "scam", "workbench", "gizmo", "tool", "bear suit" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-21", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert writes a self-help book for compulsive shoppers.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "book", "self-help", "compulsive shopper", "write" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-22", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Helen turns Dilbert down for a date even though they've never met.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Helen" ], "keywords": [ "telephone", "first-strike", "turn down" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-23", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert writes the finest memo known to man, but is curiously unfulfilled.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "memo", "unfulfilled", "CC", "vision", "staple" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-24", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells Dilbert he shouldn't care what others think of his work.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "opinion", "Wright brothers", "Galileo", "Columbus", "torpedo" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-25", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Dogbert what happened to his good ruler.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "ruler", "broken", "flaw", "argument", "tool" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-26", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Einstein says time slows down as the speed of light is approached and time flies when you're having fun.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Einstein", "time", "speed of light", "time flies", "philosophy" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-27", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert describes his dream about being kidnapped to an illegal lint farm.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "dream", "hillbilly", "pocket lint", "lint farm", "flannel" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-28", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert becomes a Swami by mail. He makes general predictions to build trust.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Swami", "trainee", "trust", "swami hat", "crystal ball" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-29", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert is using radiation to mutate new species of vegetables.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "lab", "radiation", "mutate", "vegetable", "broccoli" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-30", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets his latest \"Toast of the Month.\"", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "thrill", "hope", "Toast of the Month Club", "mailbox" ] }, { "date": "1989-08-31", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets his ruined shirts from the dry cleaner.", "characters": [ "Wally the dry cleaner", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Wally's Laundry", "shirt", "laundry", "glue", "tip", "clothes rack" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-01", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks about Dilbert's new book, \"The History of Glue.\"", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "History of Glue", "glue" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-02", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert is happy to report the rate of Dogbert's snide comments has dipped.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "insult", "snide comment", "graph", "plot", "trend", "dip", "line chart" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-03", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert's animal magnetism reverses in the \"Time of Degauss.\"", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Time of Degauss", "animal magnetism", "catastrophe", "utensil" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-04", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert gives a piece of cake to Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "chef", "cake", "frosting", "health" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-05", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "A cashier tries to drop the change in Dilbert's drink.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "cashier" ], "keywords": [ "change", "soda", "celebration dance" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-06", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows his latest invention which turns pocket lint into a parsley substitute.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "pocket lint", "parsley", "technology driven", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-07", "subject": "Sports", "synopsis": "Dogbert beats Dilbert again at ping pong.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "ping-pong", "tricky shot", "mental game", "supernatural" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-08", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dogbert produces the word \"neans\" in a Scrabble game.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Scrabble", "neans", "justification" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-09", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert worries about stuff falling off the truck in front of him.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "car", "truck", "drive", "windshield", "hammer" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-10", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert looks for a country to conquer on a limited budget.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "almanac", "Andorra", "King Dogbert of Andorra", "mercenary", "junk bond" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-11", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert worries about having to drink from a public water fountain.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "thirst", "public", "water fountain", "cooties" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-12", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert go bird watching and Dogbert sees many more birds than Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "bird watching", "robin", "bald eagle", "binoculars" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-13", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert writes a story where Dilbert discovers all his white socks have holes.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "book", "geek", "tragedy", "socks", "pants" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-14", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "Dogbert receives an invitation to a sales pitch about a condo.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "junk mail", "condo", "sales pitch", "Jeep Cherokee", "mock emerald", "letter" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-15", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders about how to act when meeting a person in the hallway for the third time today.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "hallway", "hello", "fire alarm", "awkward situation", "etiquette" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-16", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dogbert speculates an alien civilisation created life on earth as androids.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "android", "alien", "radish", "speculation" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-17", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dilbert sees whales communicating to squids, and Dogbert misinterprets.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "news reader" ], "keywords": [ "whale", "squid", "communication", "Prince Charles", "Margaret Thatcher" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-18", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert describes music he hates.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "music", "heavy metal rock", "opera", "costume" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-19", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert relates his fear of moths to a psychologist.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "psychologist" ], "keywords": [ "moth", "insecurity", "looks", "phobia", "couch" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-20", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "The psychologist thinks Dilbert's fear of moths is due to his insecurity about his looks.", "characters": [ "psychologist", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "moth", "looks", "insecurity", "insect", "mother", "sweater", "couch" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-21", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert is considered for a promotion and is asked if he can handle criticism.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "promotion", "evaluate", "criticism", "toupee", "trick question", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-22", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert invites Dogbert to go camping on the weekend.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "camping", "garage", "shower", "bug", "lost" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-23", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert had a dream about meeting a beautiful woman.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "dream", "woman", "telephone number", "problem", "pyjamas" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-24", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert invents a deodorant spray booster pack.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "invention", "deodorant", "booster pack", "sarcasm", "armpit" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-25", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "The neighbour complains Dogbert glued suction cups onto a kitten's feet and stuck it on a windshield.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "neighbour", "kitten", "suction cup", "windshield", "copyright", "cruelty" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-26", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dogbert advises Dilbert to act naturally at a party to impress women.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "impress women", "act naturally", "advice", "mirror" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-27", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "A Soviet spy asks Dogbert for his master's electronic secrets.", "characters": [ "Soviet spy", "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Soviet", "comrade", "secret", "microfiche", "evil empire", "spy" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-28", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert sings along with the \"Ooh-Ooh!\" part of a song on the radio.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "sing", "ooh-ooh", "radio", "song", "opinion", "drive", "car" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-29", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert says he hasn't always been a conservative engineer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "young Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "conservative", "engineer", "rebel", "potato salad" ] }, { "date": "1989-09-30", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dogbert considers whether to keep busy or sit.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "busy", "time flies", "die" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-01", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Cupid the love-cherub visits Dilbert and Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Cupid", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "instinct", "love", "picture window", "stupid", "crash", "cherub", "bow and arrow" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-02", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Ed McMahon visits Dilbert about his sweepstakes entry.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ed McMahon" ], "keywords": [ "sweepstakes", "mail", "letter", "stamp" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-03", "subject": "Personal", "saga": "Dilbert gets \"darned\" for not returning twelve cents.", "synopsis": "Dilbert realises the grocery store under-charged him twelve cents on the lettuce.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Phil", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "grocery", "under-charge", "honesty", "rationalise", "pitchspoon" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-04", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Phil visits Dilbert for not returning twelve cents.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Phil" ], "keywords": [ "under-charge", "darn", "eternal damnation", "Prince of Insufficient Light", "pitchspoon" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-05", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets punished for not returning twelve cents.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Phil", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "damn", "darn", "misdemeanour", "thermostat", "living room", "pitchspoon", "punishment", "regret" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-06", "subject": "Sports", "synopsis": "Strange noises come from Dilbert's direction. Dogbert investigates.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "bonk", "ouch", "thud", "juggle", "bowling pin" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-07", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert is transferred to a nuclear power project.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "transfer", "radiation", "Glickman Nuclear Power Project", "safety inspection", "glowing report", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-08", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert installs a front door catapult as part of a new home security system.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "home", "security system", "welcome mat", "catapult", "guilt" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-09", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dogbert has joined the Flat Earth Society.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Flat Earth Society", "Round Earth Theory", "Christopher Columbus", "witness" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-10", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants evidence the Earth is round.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Earth", "John Glenn", "astronaut", "honesty", "politician", "theory" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-11", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert creates a program to generate an effective pick-up line.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "program", "pick-up line", "clever", "Mel Gibson", "dingo dog" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-12", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Dogbert to go for a walk.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "walk", "chew gum", "uncoordinated" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-13", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert tracks Jenny Dworkin's speed, habits and tendencies.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Jenny Dworkin", "track", "computer", "predict", "call", "contrive" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-14", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert considers the delicate balance of nature.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "balance of nature", "environment", "delicate", "wedding" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-15", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert wins the lottery.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "reporter" ], "keywords": [ "Three Stooges", "Curly", "lottery", "wealth", "drink", "reporter", "microphone", "television reporter" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-16", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "The Bank of Ethel says they spent all of Dilbert's deposits.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ethel" ], "keywords": [ "Bank of Ethel", "money", "deposit", "embezzle" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-17", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "A plant falls off the desk as Dilbert was talking to it.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "plant", "talk", "suicide note" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-18", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert writes a letter to his Uncle Max the policeman.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "letter", "write", "police", "legal size", "paper", "bribe" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-19", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Dogbert what he would put on Dilbert's headstone, if Dilbert were to die.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "die", "tombstone", "cremate", "stuff" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-20", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert thinks the world would be a nicer place if all people renounced violence.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "violence", "renounce", "conquer" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-21", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert says he hates surprise birthday parties for him.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "surprise party", "birthday", "nature" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-22", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "A man from a house wrecking company comes to Dilbert's house.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "wrecker" ], "keywords": [ "house call", "Big Ball Wrecking Company", "address", "Walnut Avenue", "neighbour", "workbench", "tool", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-23", "subject": "Sports", "synopsis": "Dilbert watches a tennis instruction video to improve his game.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "video", "instruction", "tennis", "game" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-24", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dogbert decides what to do, but shies away from the hard stuff.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "activity", "write", "read", "book", "television" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-25", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert sometimes thinks he has never matured.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "mature", "kid", "fake", "cooties" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-26", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "A grocery store clerk catches Dilbert snacking in the store.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "grocery", "grape", "snack", "scale", "happy" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-27", "subject": "Sports", "synopsis": "Dilbert enjoys fishing -- him against fish.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "fish", "brain", "equipment", "strength", "water ski" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-28", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dogbert reports scientists have found the gene that makes some people love golf.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "golf", "gene", "plaid", "lie" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-29", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "Dogbert intervenes at a bank that was rude to Dilbert by pretending to be billionaire David Packard.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "bank", "rude", "David Packard", "Hewlett-Packard", "money", "non-interest bearing account", "push-up" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-30", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dogbert wonders why it's OK to kill flies but not dolphins.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "fly", "dolphin", "cruelty", "swat", "flyswatter" ] }, { "date": "1989-10-31", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date cancels out on him with a suspicious story.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "cancel", "caveman", "ice cube tray" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-01", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Siskel and Ebert review Dilbert's life.", "characters": [ "Gene Siskel", "Roger Ebert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "This is Your Life", "bore", "stupid", "theme show", "television", "remote control" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-02", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert thinks the Great Wall of China is overrated from an engineering perspective.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "life's mystery", "Great Wall of China", "army", "dismal flop", "tourist attraction" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-03", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dilbert is disappointed in his terrarium experiment because it should have started its own weather pattern.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "terrarium", "experiment", "weather patterns", "anti-climatic" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-04", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Dogbert thinks it's stupid to base the world economy on gold.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "world economy", "gold", "rock", "civilisation", "money" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-05", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert meets Eddy and mistakenly calls him Frank. Eddy does not take it lightly.", "characters": [ "Eddy", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "greet", "forget", "embarrassment", "name", "insult", "self-esteem", "immune" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-06", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert writes a poem about legs for a woman he just met.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "poem", "legs", "butt", "mutt" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-07", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A former school bully threatens Dilbert's data diskettes.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "ageing school bully" ], "keywords": [ "lunch money", "data", "payroll", "computer", "bully", "shop", "bookends" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-08", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert decides it's time for action to solve world hunger.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "world hunger", "policy", "debate", "bumper sticker", "action" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-09", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A guy holds the door open for Dilbert to be polite even though Dilbert is slightly out of range.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "office worker" ], "keywords": [ "door", "hall", "polite", "lunge" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-10", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "A guy greets Dilbert in a one-sided conversation.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "greet", "small talk", "conversation" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-11", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert uses a credit card to pay for dinner but is confused about the paperwork.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "credit card", "dinner", "dating", "paperwork", "carbon paper", "tablecloth" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-12", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dilbert spreads his cold.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "sneeze", "cold", "Dilbert's cold", "medicine", "television news" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-13", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert reports his mugging to the police and talks to a police artist.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "police officer" ], "keywords": [ "mug", "police", "artist", "sketch", "injury", "sketchpad" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-14", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert tries \"affirmations,\" where he writes his objective fifteen times a day.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "write", "affirmations", "objectives", "garden slug", "Dilbert will be eaten by a garden slug" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-15", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert continues with his experiment with \"affirmations.\"", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "affirmations", "garden slug", "salt", "experiment" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-16", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert comes upon double doors and wonders which one will open.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "hallway", "door", "fool", "open", "ventilation", "duct", "crawlspace" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-17", "subject": "Science", "note": "Title strip for \"Shave the Whales\" book.", "synopsis": "Dogbert ponders about nature, and whether whales need to shave.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "mammal", "hair", "whale", "shave the whales" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-18", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A new engineer is introduced to Dilbert. Dilbert dreads it because he always forgets people's names.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dee Alamo" ], "keywords": [ "engineer", "introduction", "forget", "name", "word association", "memory trick", "remember the Alamo" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-19", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dilbert runs to be healthy, but feels awful as he's doing it.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "jog", "run", "fitness", "exercise", "long life", "sweats" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-20", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert reads a newspaper editorial that says congressmen's pay should be increased.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "newspaper", "editorial", "congress", "pay", "criminal", "underpaid" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-21", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "What would Dogbert do if he had everything he wanted?", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "greed", "gloat", "possession", "perfume" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-22", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert's ego manifests itself.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's ego" ], "keywords": [ "manifest", "feed", "starve", "panic" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-23", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to order his ego around.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's ego" ], "keywords": [ "insecurity", "dance", "who's in charge", "threat" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-24", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to eat a doughnut but Dogbert shoots it from his hand.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "doughnut", "slingshot", "Wild Kingdom", "anger", "bait" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-25", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to use acupuncture to relieve stress.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "acupuncture", "needle", "stress", "sarcasm", "silly", "advice" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-26", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dogbert believes infinite parallel universes, all slightly different.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "universe", "belief", "Vincent van Gogh", "parallel", "toenail", "accident" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-27", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dogbert puts a hand over his mouth when he sneezes.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "sneeze", "manners", "hand", "run" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-28", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "There's informality at the White House.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "president" ], "keywords": [ "White House", "informal", "international", "Gorbachev", "Gumby", "president", "oval office" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-29", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks a stupid question.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "stupid", "question", "smart" ] }, { "date": "1989-11-30", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dogbert wonders what a school for dogs has in common with a television news show \"Sixty Minutes.\"", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "dog school", "Sixty Minutes", "Harry Reasoner", "owner" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-01", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "A woman turns down Dilbert for a date.", "characters": [ "woman", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "boring", "unattractive", "blob", "friend", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-02", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Dilbert is asked whether an idea will work technically.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "opinion", "idea", "technical perspective", "babble", "consciousness", "boring" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss is going on vacation and needs a replacement who can lead.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "vacation", "assignment", "responsibility", "sock monkey" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-04", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Michael Jackson may get more plastic surgery, Dilbert reads.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Michael Jackson", "plastic surgery", "elephant man", "part", "ivory", "newspaper" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-05", "subject": "Science", "note": "The Garbageman's first appearance.", "synopsis": "The Garbageman corrects some calculations he finds in Dilbert's trash.", "characters": [ "Garbageman", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "equation", "garbage", "quantum calculation", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-06", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dogbert introduces himself to the Garbageman.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Garbageman" ], "keywords": [ "world's smartest", "professional", "glamour" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-07", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert has an urge to lick all the stamps in a post office.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "urge", "post office", "stamp", "tongue" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-08", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dogbert ponders about being an actor in life.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "actor", "life", "stage", "Dustin Hoffman", "costume", "zipper", "philosophy" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-09", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert says God appointed him ruler of Earth.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "God", "ruler", "appoint" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-10", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Does Dilbert contribute to society? Dogbert responds.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "inventor", "dweeb", "humanity", "tube sock of inventors", "ambiguity", "honesty", "gizmo", "wisdom" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-11", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows Dogbert a hot line to the Kremlin.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "hot line", "Kremlin", "prototype", "Mikhail Gorbachev", "finger-paint" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-12", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "Dogbert insults communism to Mikhail Gorbachev on a prototype hot line.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "hot line", "Kremlin", "communism", "capitalism", "missile", "Mikhail Gorbachev" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-13", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "What separates man from animals? The ability to reason and All-Star Wrestling.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "reason", "animal", "all-star wrestling", "foot stomp", "philosophy", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-14", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "A skunk enters Dilbert's house but says he is friendly.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "skunk" ], "keywords": [ "invade", "threat", "tail", "spray", "scare", "strawberry", "ice cream", "blackmail" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-15", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "A skunk forces Dilbert to give him a bowl of ice cream.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "skunk" ], "keywords": [ "threat", "ice cream", "blackmail", "fear", "Cats musical" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-16", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Where does dust come from? A television personality wants to know.", "characters": [ "Geraldo Rivera", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "dust", "phenomenon", "astronaut", "television" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-17", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets a telephone answering machine and creates a greeting message.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "answering machine", "telephone", "greeting message", "creativity", "complex stupidity" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-18", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dilbert phones work to say he won't be in today.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cold", "headache", "miss work", "telephone", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-19", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dilbert was involved in a car accident with a rental car.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "rental car", "Hertz", "sympathy", "car accident", "injury" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-20", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert can't make his invention work, so Dogbert suggests using his right-brain.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "invention", "logical", "brain", "creativity", "cry", "emotion", "workbench", "tool", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-21", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert comes up with a list of the world's funniest words.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "funny", "chainsaw", "computer", "weasel", "prune", "Gilligan's Island", "joke" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-22", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dogbert advises Dilbert on how to get to sleep.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "insomnia", "folk remedy", "grape jelly", "cantaloupe", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-23", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert goes through a toll booth.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "toll booth", "car", "driving", "toll-taker", "exact change" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-24", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert meets Santa and explains what he wants for Christmas.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Santa", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "elf", "Christmas", "supreme ruler of Earth", "consumer good", "GI Joe" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-25", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "Dilbert goes for a free hypnosis lesson.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "hypnosis", "lesson", "catch", "post-hypnotic suggestion", "brainwash", "polka-dot underwear" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-26", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert considers getting a tattoo.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "tattoo", "tasteful", "suggestion", "kick me" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-27", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert offers to help Dilbert clean.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "clean", "lend a hand", "paw", "lawyer", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-28", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "Dan Quayle still puts his pants on one leg at a time, Dilbert says.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dan Quayle", "Marilyn Quayle" ], "keywords": [ "vice president", "one leg at a time", "pants", "confusion", "embarrassment" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets rewarded for perfect attendance at his work.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "perfect attendance", "reward", "day off with pay", "species" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-30", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Bad grammar becomes good grammar over time, Dilbert tells Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "language", "grammar", "common usage", "intellectual", "wisdom" ] }, { "date": "1989-12-31", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert shares his new year's resolutions. None of them are good.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "party hat", "new year's eve", "resolution", "tolerance", "morality", "objectives" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-01", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert is grumpy so asks Dilbert not to talk to him.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "grumpy", "flattery", "chocolate cake", "scratch behind the ears", "leg spasm" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-02", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert starts to write an unauthorised biography about Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "unauthorised", "biography", "pet and tell", "expose", "revelations", "manuscript" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-03", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert describes some chapters in his unauthorised biography of Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "unauthorised", "biography", "Jackie O", "Liz Taylor", "Steve Garvey" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-04", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "A meeting of the \"Skeptics Society\" wants to debunk a claim to turn the audience into chickens.", "characters": [ "host", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Skeptics Association", "debunk", "transmogrify", "volunteer", "adjourn", "chicken", "witch", "broomstick" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-05", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "Dogbert brings good news: an unlimited salad bar is open all day and all night.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "all you can eat", "salad bar", "bathe", "moist towelettes", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-06", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a clerk for something to get rid of a headache.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "headache", "remedy", "drugstore", "pharmacy", "pill" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-07", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Dilbert buys pants that will shrink to fit.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "clerk", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "clothing store", "shrink to fit", "honour", "taken", "fit like a glove" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-08", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to get out of his bad mood.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "bad mood", "innocent", "insult", "greeting" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-09", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dogbert charges himself with static electricity.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "static", "electricity", "Thor", "Dog of Thunder", "threat", "ESD" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-10", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert taunts Dogbert about being full of static electricity.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "static", "electricity", "pun", "nerd", "Dog of Thunder", "zap", "resistor", "ESD", "injury", "skeleton" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-11", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "It's time to renew Dogbert's dog license.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "dog license", "renew", "Department of Dogs", "test" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-12", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dogbert fails the written portion of the dog license test.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "dog license", "written portion", "mailman", "fax", "Department of Dogs", "trend" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-13", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains the problem with his car to a mechanic.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "mechanic" ], "keywords": [ "auto", "car", "fuel pump", "repair", "expletive" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-14", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert starts a diary.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "diary", "Kirk Cameron", "fan club", "monotony", "journal" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-15", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert becomes a substitute school teacher.", "synopsis": "Dogbert gets a job as a substitute school teacher.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "substitute", "school", "teacher", "fourth grade" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-16", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants Dogbert to not be a substitute school teacher.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "kid" ], "keywords": [ "substitute", "school", "teacher", "flammable", "classroom", "chalkboard" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-17", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert, a substitute school teacher, tries to keep control of his class.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "kid" ], "keywords": [ "substitute", "school", "teacher", "flame-thrower", "hostage", "stinger", "classroom", "chalkboard" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-18", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert refers his class to the TV Guide.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "substitute", "school", "teacher", "weapon", "TV Guide", "Falcon Crest", "sex education", "classroom", "apple" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-19", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert describes his day as a substitute school teacher.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "substitute", "school teacher", "statue", "powerless", "pigeon" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-20", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert worries about losing his hair.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "hair loss", "clump", "anxious", "mirror" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-21", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "A man from the Organisation for the Protection of Ugly People comes to Dilbert's door.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "ugly man" ], "keywords": [ "Organisation for the Protection of Ugly People", "stereotype", "donation", "membership drive", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-22", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert says women have always played hard to get, even in the Garden of Eden.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Eve" ], "keywords": [ "play hard to get", "Garden of Eden", "rejection", "snake" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-23", "subject": "Health", "saga": "A doctor gives Dilbert six months to live.", "synopsis": "The doctor gives Dilbert six months to live.", "characters": [ "doctor", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "six months to live", "50% off sale", "pay cash", "stethoscope", "clipboard" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-24", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dilbert breaks the bad news about his impending death to Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "year to live", "sad news", "paint", "house" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-25", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "The test results were mixed up so Dilbert will not die.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "doctor" ], "keywords": [ "test results", "pap smear", "mistake", "stethoscope", "clipboard" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-26", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to combine a mortuary business with a garbage collection business.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "mortuary", "garbage collection", "dearly departed", "pizza delivery", "calculator" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-27", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert stays at a fancy hotel and wonders who to tip.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "hotel", "tip", "maid", "concierge", "trust", "suitcase" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-28", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert gets approved for a credit card and is on track to conquer Earth.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "conquer", "credit card", "Macy's", "Visa", "MasterCard", "lottery", "supreme ruler of earth", "chew toy", "supreme ruler of earth", "chew toy", "mailbox", "envelope", "gizmo", "tool", "workbench" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-29", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dogbert tries to write down life's \"unwritten rules.\"", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "unwritten rule", "porcupine", "balloon", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-30", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert comes up with an idea for a sun tan lotion applicator.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "idea", "Madonna", "Barbie", "sun tan lotion" ] }, { "date": "1990-01-31", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to borrow Dilbert's car.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "borrow the car", "vote", "decision", "recount", "cheat" ] }, { "date": "1990-02-01", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dogbert says human laws do not apply to him.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "research", "human laws", "owner", "pet", "selfish" ] }, { "date": "1990-02-02", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date shows Dilbert her operating manual.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "operating manual", "restaurant", "flower", "opening door", "jewelry" ] }, { "date": "1990-02-03", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert sings the \"greens,\" a less depressing form of singing the blues.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "noise", "sign", "blues", "greens", "depressed", "guitar" ] }, { "date": "1990-02-04", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert is rejected for a date with a co-worker.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "resign", "unemployment", "social security number", "unlucky", "play hard to get" ] }, { "date": "1990-02-05", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert reflects on why we can't remember things for a moment after waking.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "morning", "waking", "confusion" ] }, { "date": "1990-02-06", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Bob is tired of hiding and wants to do a comeback tour.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "hide", "rule the planet", "extinct", "comeback tour", "Elvis", "jumpsuit" ] }, { "date": "1990-02-07", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Bob plans the dinosaurs' comeback tour.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "comeback tour", "My Way", "bite somebody's head off", "Ozzy Osbourne" ] }, { "date": "1990-02-08", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Bob tackles Dilbert to prevent him from opening the freezer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "refrigerator", "ice cream", "nervous", "tackle", "ice age" ] }, { "date": "1990-02-09", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dogbert tests female intuition.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "woman's intuition", "number between one and ten", "skeptic" ] }, { "date": "1990-02-10", "subject": "Product", "synopsis": "A television commercial threatens violence if their product is not purchased.", "characters": [ "advertiser", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "tire company", "television", "advertisement", "threat" ] }, { "date": "1990-02-11", "subject": "Product", "synopsis": "Dilbert is asked to be candid at a meeting about the company's new product.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "engineering", "corporate philosophy", "humiliate", "tar and feather", "shoot the messenger", "presentation", "assault rifle", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1990-02-12", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert says many famous people got by with very little sleep.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "sleep", "nap", "famous", "Jackie Gleason", "Ben Franklin", "Napoleon" ] }, { "date": "1990-02-13", "subject": "Family", "saga": "Dorgy comes to visit.", "synopsis": "Dilbert decides to host a dog from the Soviet Union.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Dorgy" ], "keywords": [ "Soviet Exchange Program", "host", "Nikita Dorgachev", "battle tank", "combat helmet" ] }, { "date": "1990-02-14", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert meets Dorgy from the Soviet exchange program.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dorgy" ], "keywords": [ "Soviet Exchange Program", "capitalism", "God", "Donald Trump", "battle tank", "combat helmet" ] }, { "date": "1990-02-15", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dorgy learns how anybody in the capitalist system can become rich.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dorgy" ], "keywords": [ "capitalism", "inheritance", "crime", "system" ] }, { "date": "1990-02-16", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dorgy becomes a maid at the bottom rung on the way to become a major industrialist.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dorgy", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "capitalism", "maid", "promotion", "industrialist", "system", "Japan", "feather duster", "apron" ] }, { "date": "1990-02-17", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogs are very loyal, thinks Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "loyalty", "sweater", "flush", "honesty", "toilet" ] }, { "date": "1990-02-18", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Bob describes the time when dinosaurs evolved into birds.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "dinosaur", "evolve", "bird", "bonus miles", "crash helmet", "cliff" ] }, { "date": "1990-02-19", "subject": "Science", "saga": "Dilbert dates the woman at the library reference desk.", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the library reference desk a tough question.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "librarian" ], "keywords": [ "library", "reference desk", "Tasmanian Boola-Boola dog", "smart" ] }, { "date": "1990-02-20", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets a blind date with the woman at the library reference desk.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Brainella" ], "keywords": [ "blind date", "librarian", "ugly", "read minds", "mirror", "restaurant" ] }, { "date": "1990-02-21", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Brainella discuss her work at a restaurant.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Brainella" ], "keywords": [ "memorise", "inadequate", "library", "reference desk", "restaurant", "paper umbrella" ] }, { "date": "1990-02-22", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to discuss smart stuff with Brainella.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Brainella" ], "keywords": [ "smart", "intimidate", "explosion", "outfit", "restaurant" ] }, { "date": "1990-02-23", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert brings Brainella home for coffee and she meets Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Brainella" ], "keywords": [ "smart", "coffee", "insult", "queen bee", "lightbulb" ] }, { "date": "1990-02-24", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dogbert ponders \"fast\" and \"fast food.\"", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "fast food", "starve", "restaurant", "philosophy" ] }, { "date": "1990-02-25", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert predicts what people will be like in the year 2190.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "kid" ], "keywords": [ "computer model", "predict", "society", "assumption", "overweight", "selfish", "futurist" ] }, { "date": "1990-02-26", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert describes Uncle Phil, who died while hang gliding, to Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Uncle Phil" ], "keywords": [ "hang gliding", "instruction manual", "tree", "hangman's noose", "rope" ] }, { "date": "1990-02-27", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "The Boss recognises Dilbert's job performance by naming a pencil after him.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "job performance", "pencil" ] }, { "date": "1990-02-28", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert enjoys taking Dogbert for a walk but Dogbert objects to being called a mutt.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "walk", "mutt", "canine", "pooch", "pinhead", "bowser", "blockhead", "hound", "hiney" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-01", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells how his Uncle Will was awarded eleven purple hearts.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Uncle Will" ], "keywords": [ "army", "draft", "purple heart", "soldier" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-02", "subject": "Finance", "synopsis": "The bank asks Dilbert to make a deposit because they're having trouble meeting payroll.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "bank employee" ], "keywords": [ "bank", "payroll", "deposit", "trust", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert receives an urgent memo with an inspiring message.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "memo", "urgent", "proactive", "quality", "inspiration", "heart" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-04", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries flattery on his date.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "flattery", "dish cloth", "Jello", "compliment", "graceful", "restaurant", "tablecloth" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows Dogbert his trophy for perfect attendance.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "trophy", "attendance", "dust", "wax" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-06", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "The Garbageman explains to Dogbert what life is.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Garbageman" ], "keywords": [ "life", "cantaloupe", "newspaper", "coffee", "garbage", "romance" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-07", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Dogbert ponders gravity may only be an illusion.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "gravity", "illusion", "think", "smart", "Wheel of Fortune" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-08", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert reads the body language of his date.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "body language", "cuddle", "fireplace", "firewood", "chainsaw", "interpret", "hockey mask", "restaurant" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-09", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Dogbert how much he enjoys the quiet times they spend together.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "quiet", "silence", "noise", "chatter", "listen", "ignore" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-10", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert meet Vernon, probably the most boring person they know.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Vernon" ], "keywords": [ "boring", "escape", "insult", "Kojak", "polite", "brain", "tapioca" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-11", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert demands more money and benefits for living with Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "wage", "benefits", "package", "disloyalty", "abuse", "legal problem", "recognition", "employee of the month", "toaster" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-12", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert thinks riding in an elevator is very awkward.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "elevator", "awkward", "breathe", "quiet", "fidget", "dead", "act" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-13", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders at the fact dogs don't sweat.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "sweat", "sneak", "bedroom", "brush teeth", "toothbrush" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-14", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "An old lady says it's nice men don't whistle at her anymore.", "characters": [ "old lady", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "whistle", "ogle", "women's movement", "sensitive", "planet", "climate", "out of touch" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-15", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "The Grim Reaper comes for Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Grim Reaper", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "death", "challenge", "sports", "contest", "Frisbee", "degrade" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-16", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "The Grim Reaper won't take Dogbert if Dogbert can catch a Frisbee in his mouth.", "characters": [ "Grim Reaper", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "death", "challenge", "cheat", "Frisbee", "athlete", "Scrabble" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-17", "subject": "Entertainment", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to see a new Hitchcock movie, a sequel.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Alfred Hitchcock", "movie", "sequel", "fish", "theatre" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-18", "subject": "Entertainment", "synopsis": "Dogbert makes a movie, \"Dogbert versus Godzilla,\" starring Dilbert, Bob and himself.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Bob", "Dawn" ], "keywords": [ "home movie", "Dogbert versus Godzilla", "Godzilla", "Raymond Burr", "key grip", "Barbie", "Ken", "Skipper", "cheeseburger", "fire extinguisher", "sequel", "workbench", "gizmo", "tool", "camcorder", "video camera", "megaphone" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-19", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert has been bumped from his flight.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "airline", "flight", "bumped", "ticket", "wing", "duct tape section", "airplane" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-20", "subject": "Dating", "saga": "Dilbert has a blind date with a large woman.", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets ready for his date who turns out to be a little overweight.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "blind date", "full-body", "overweight", "Sherpa", "base camp" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-21", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dogbert describes how large Dilbert's date is.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "blind date", "overweight", "family portrait", "Voyager II", "Jabba" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-22", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert meets his blind date, an overweight woman.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Janet" ], "keywords": [ "blind date", "overweight", "dinner", "all you can eat", "ban" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-23", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Janet, his overweight blind date, about other men she has dated.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Janet" ], "keywords": [ "blind date", "overweight", "Jabba", "restaurant", "delicious" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-24", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Janet's ex-boyfriends all disappeared without a trace, Dilbert learns.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Janet" ], "keywords": [ "boyfriend", "disappear", "eat", "cheesecake", "dessert", "escape", "restaurant", "injury" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-25", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert dreams of living in a kinder world, in peace and harmony. Dilbert suspects trouble.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "kind", "peace", "harmony", "retribution", "bygone", "stress", "pet" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-26", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "An artist asks Dilbert not to walk in front of him.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "artist" ], "keywords": [ "paint", "artist", "interrupt", "spoil", "easel", "beret", "etiquette" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-27", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Guard the house, Dilbert tells Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "guard", "duty", "intruder", "thief", "bullet", "toilet" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-28", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "Dilbert spices up the engineering newsletter.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "newsletter", "pathos", "drama", "data loss", "tissue" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-29", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Dogbert the different ways how he shows he likes girls.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "girls", "women", "spitball", "beg", "like", "satisfy" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-30", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "A lottery winner bothers Dogbert by wasting money.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "lottery winner" ], "keywords": [ "Burger Queen", "special", "lottery", "winner", "restaurant" ] }, { "date": "1990-03-31", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date says she values honesty in a man.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "honesty", "boring", "smooch", "relevant", "restaurant" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-01", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Dogbert learns how to meditate from a guru.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "guru" ], "keywords": [ "secrets of the universe", "meditation", "clear your mind", "stupid", "mountain", "swami hat" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-02", "subject": "Society", "note": "An Elbonian's first appearance.", "saga": "Dilbert travels to Elbonia.", "synopsis": "The tiny East European country of Elbonia has abandoned communism, Dilbert tells Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "Europe", "communism", "pig", "tree", "mud farm" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-03", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "The Boss sends Dilbert to Elbonia to open a subsidiary.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "subsidiary", "communism", "economics", "engineer", "suitcase" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-04", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert arrives in Elbonia and arranges for a flight to the capital.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "communism", "flight", "airport", "commute", "slingshot" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-05", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert arrives at the Elbonian capital to teach them capitalism.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Elbonian pig" ], "keywords": [ "slingshot", "mud", "capitalism", "blue jeans", "landing", "fly" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-06", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "The Elbonians are suspicious of Dilbert's motives for being in their country.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Elbonian", "Elbonian pig" ], "keywords": [ "capitalism", "secret process", "mud", "dirt", "suspicion" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-07", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Elbonians why their main product is mud.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "economy", "mud", "plan", "pig" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-08", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert meets Helena, who was in his dreams last night.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Helena" ], "keywords": [ "dream", "cheerleader", "horse", "single", "bizarre" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-09", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells the Elbonians about the incentive system of capitalism.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "capitalism", "incentive", "factory", "rich", "work long hours", "television" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-10", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Dogbert about his successful trip to Elbonia.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "trip", "subsidiary", "capitalism", "computer chip", "industrial giant", "management" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-11", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Bob shouts from the rooftop to unload his feelings.", "characters": [ "Dawn", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "deny feeling", "shout from the rooftop", "root", "Tom Brokaw", "Peter Jennings" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-12", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to know why Bob climbs on the roof and shouts.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "shout from the rooftop", "feeling", "honesty", "spine" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-13", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dinosaurs almost never tell lies.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Bob", "Dawn" ], "keywords": [ "lie", "survival", "National Enquirer", "educational program" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-14", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dilbert finds a lucky penny.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "luck", "penny", "puddle", "sidewalk", "splash" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-15", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert is short on wealth after paying his taxes.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "IRS agent" ], "keywords": [ "tax", "satisfy", "sacrifice", "public service", "shave", "socks", "IRS", "polka-dot underwear" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-16", "subject": "Fashion", "saga": "Dilbert yanks a loose thread on his shirt.", "synopsis": "Dilbert finds a loose thread on his shirt.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "loose", "thread", "shirt", "yank", "head", "torso" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-17", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert needs help extracting his head from his torso.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "paw", "loose", "thread", "shirt", "torso", "head", "family portrait", "family picture", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-18", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert tries to free Dilbert's head after it got sucked into his torso.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "loose", "thread", "shirt", "torso", "head", "flattery", "mollusk", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-19", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't like buying tissue boxes with feminine designs.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "tissue", "feminine", "sexist", "sandpaper", "statement", "manly" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-20", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dogbert \"guesses\" Dilbert's explanation for why 400 women turned him down.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "women", "dating" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-21", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert doesn't want any mental activities.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "brain", "lazy", "mental", "stimulation", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-22", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert insults Dilbert but Dilbert is immune to it.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "abuse", "male", "female", "spit", "cake", "zucchini", "insult", "bee" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-23", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "A man in a park bench tells how he told off his boss.", "characters": [ "man", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "sez", "project", "raise", "wisdom" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-24", "subject": "Investment", "synopsis": "Dilbert brags he has investments.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "stock broker", "investor", "chocolate", "coin", "profit", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-25", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Bob how computers can save time.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "computer", "efficiency", "spare time" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-26", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dogbert is surprised dinosaurs are so small.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "practical joke", "Mesozoic Era", "bone", "fake vomit", "tar pit", "giant bone", "gag gifts" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-27", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "A commercial for a nose toupee works on Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "television", "advertisement", "nose", "hair", "toupee", "Rivco" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-28", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells how his Uncle Tim got lost while camping and froze to death.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Uncle Tim" ], "keywords": [ "camping", "freeze", "compass" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-29", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert's credit card gets cancelled when the bank thinks he has died.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "bank employee" ], "keywords": [ "credit card", "computer", "bank", "indignation", "manual" ] }, { "date": "1990-04-30", "subject": "Technology", "saga": "Dilbert inside his computer program.", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets sucked into a computer program.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Michael Chip" ], "keywords": [ "sucked", "computer", "program", "two bits" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-01", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert learns the microchips in his computer drink coffee.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Michael Chip" ], "keywords": [ "microchip", "coffee", "fast", "irritable", "kill", "giant coffee cup" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-02", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets a guided tour of the inside of his computer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Michael Chip" ], "keywords": [ "tour", "guide", "hypnosis", "reproduce" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-03", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The microchip in Dilbert's computer says subliminal suggestions have been going to Dilbert for years.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Michael Chip" ], "keywords": [ "tour", "trick", "subliminal", "suggestion", "pocket" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-04", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The microchip in Dilbert's computer hypnotises Dilbert to suggest computer upgrades.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Michael Chip" ], "keywords": [ "hypnosis", "post-hypnotic suggestion", "microchip", "upgrade", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-05", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Everyone in the office is scared of the new guy from New York.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "scare", "fright", "hunt", "kill", "water cooler", "New York" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-06", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "A driver asks Dogbert how to get to the hospital.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "man in car" ], "keywords": [ "hospital", "direction", "car", "accident", "jerk" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-07", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "An envelope greets Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "letter" ], "keywords": [ "greeting", "weather", "mail", "fish" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-08", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries gentle kidding to impress a woman.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "kidding", "cool", "joke", "insult", "attack", "trashcan" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-09", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Even though Dilbert does not exercise, he is in perfect health, a doctor says.", "characters": [ "doctor", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cigarette", "advice", "exercise", "annoy", "prescribe", "stethoscope", "polka-dot underwear" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-10", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Students can't locate this country on a map, and one teacher tried to fix that.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "teenager", "map", "survey", "country", "X", "you are here", "teacher" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-11", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert's been bored lately and turns to knitting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "bored", "sweater", "knot", "dental floss", "pattern" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-12", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "In a parallel universe, Dilbert asks for a table in the \"no slapping yourself with a sea bass\" section.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "maitre'd" ], "keywords": [ "restaurant", "sea bass", "slap", "bad habit", "parallel universe" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-13", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Bob rips the underpants of guys he hates.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Bob", "car salesman" ], "keywords": [ "underpants", "house", "beemer", "movie", "murder", "surprise", "computer", "revenge", "pipe", "turtleneck sweater" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-14", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert the ambush reporter.", "synopsis": "Dogbert becomes an ambush reporter.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "reporter", "Mike Wallace", "ambush", "affair", "random", "microphone" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-15", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert, the reporter, ambushes a woman about her career.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "reporter", "victim", "ambush", "fantasy", "yarn", "career", "microphone" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-16", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert the ambush reporter asks a football player about steroids.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "football player" ], "keywords": [ "reporter", "ambush", "fun", "football", "steroid", "AM radio", "microphone", "football helmet" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-17", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert the ambush reporter confronts a little girl about her emotional manipulation.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "kid" ], "keywords": [ "reporter", "ambush", "pretend", "cute", "emotion", "microphone" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-18", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks a pyromaniac about his habits.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "kid" ], "keywords": [ "reporter", "ambush", "embarrassment", "question", "firecracker", "Mike Wallace", "microphone", "singed" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-19", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "Dogbert takes sky diving lessons.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "sky diving", "lesson", "cheap", "crash", "crash helmet" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-20", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dilbert's doctor needs money so proposes some unnecessary surgery.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "doctor" ], "keywords": [ "alimony", "surgery", "redundant", "organ", "lung", "kidney", "intestine", "humour", "stethoscope", "polka-dot underwear" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-21", "subject": "Dating", "saga": "Dilbert dates a witch.", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date wants to know what kind of car Dilbert drives.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "dinner", "car", "shallow", "parking lot", "chest" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-22", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert is nervous about his new date and doesn't want to spoil the occasion.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "dinner", "restaurant", "spoil", "break the ice", "witch" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-23", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date explains she's a witch.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "dinner", "restaurant", "witch", "lawn ornament", "tacky" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-24", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date explains why she took up witchcraft.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "restaurant", "witch", "fly", "frog" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-25", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dilbert, turned into a frog, returns from his date to face Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "dating", "witch", "frog", "mad" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-26", "subject": "Family", "saga": "Dilbert is turned into a frog.", "synopsis": "Dogbert finds ways to break the spell on Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "spell", "witch", "frog", "kiss", "princess", "Princess Diana" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-27", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "Dogbert attempts a takeover of the Meowco Cat Food company.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "corporate takeover", "cat food", "CEO", "hairball", "cruelty" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-28", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert calls Buckingham Palace to ask if Princess Diana could help remove a witch's spell.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "spell", "witch", "frog", "kiss", "Princess Diana", "hideous", "family reunion" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-29", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Our heroes scheme about how to get a kiss from Princess Diana.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "spell", "witch", "frog", "disguise", "Princess Diana", "margarita", "crown", "false nose" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-30", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "The story so far: Dilbert has been turned into a frog and needs a kiss from Princess Diana.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "spell", "witch", "frog", "potato", "story so far", "Prince Charles", "glasses", "contact lens", "crown", "false nose" ] }, { "date": "1990-05-31", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert is at Buckingham Palace to get a kiss from Princess Diana.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Princess Diana" ], "keywords": [ "spell", "witch", "frog", "Buckingham Palace", "lunch", "fly", "disguise" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-01", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert says he's a one-woman guy.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "one-woman guy", "play the field", "space shuttle", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-02", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The Boss has an important project for Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "performance", "stupid", "excel", "visibility", "salute", "janitor" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-03", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "People collect stamps because they're valuable, Dilbert explains.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "stamp", "collect", "valuable", "chicken and egg", "adrenaline rush" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-04", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert forms a cult.", "synopsis": "Dogbert plans to form a personality cult around him.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "personality", "cult", "honour", "bathrobe", "brand", "money", "picture", "naked" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-05", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "A man wants to join Dilbert's cult.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "cult applicant" ], "keywords": [ "cult", "resume", "fleece", "spiritual", "leader", "independent thought", "chant", "recruitment" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-06", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Bob and Dawn become enforcers in Dogbert's cult.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Dogbert", "Dawn" ], "keywords": [ "cult", "enforcer", "hideous", "recruitment" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-07", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains to Bob and Dawn what they must do in security in Dogbert's cult.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dawn" ], "keywords": [ "cult", "security", "motive", "accident" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-08", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Bob and Dawn have questions about Dogbert's cult.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Dawn", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cult", "security", "question", "truck", "advice" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-09", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Bob and Dawn wonder why they joined Dogbert's cult.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Dawn", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cult", "security", "evil", "hypnosis", "brainwash" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert suggests employees switch jobs with their bosses.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "janitor" ], "keywords": [ "suggestion", "smart", "switch jobs", "productivity" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-11", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert plans to get Bob and Dawn deprogrammed from the cult.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Bob", "Dawn" ], "keywords": [ "deprogram", "cult", "brain", "ridiculous", "reality" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-12", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Bob and Dawn resign from Dogbert's cult.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Dawn", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "cult", "resign", "expel", "crown" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-13", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains about Dogbert's cult.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "cult", "carried away", "connotation", "moron", "crown" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-14", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Geraldo Rivera interviews Dogbert about Dogbert's cult on live television.", "characters": [ "Geraldo Rivera", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "cult", "interview", "television", "live", "microphone", "embarrassment" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-15", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert dissolves his cult.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bob", "Dawn" ], "keywords": [ "cult", "dissolve", "dance", "celebrate" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-16", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert writes the perfect computer program and loses it.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "program", "spike", "end zone", "sports", "metaphor" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-17", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert builds a computer program to analyse female responses to situations.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "female response", "analysis", "predict", "computer model", "cry", "movie", "truth" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-18", "subject": "Society", "saga": "Dogbert in the dog pound.", "synopsis": "A dog catcher gets Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dog Catcher", "Killer the pit bull" ], "keywords": [ "dog pound", "penitentiary", "owner", "haircut", "pistol", "net", "jail" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-19", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dogbert plans his escape from the dog pound.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "dog pound", "demolition", "telephone", "escape" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-20", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dogbert gets ready to escape from the dog pound.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Killer the pit bull" ], "keywords": [ "dog pound", "escape", "wrecking company", "near-death experience" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-21", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert floats above his dead body.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "near-death experience", "death", "light", "God", "let down" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-22", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert dreams of death and sees a light.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "death", "dream", "light", "God", "battery", "humour", "revelation" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-23", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert wakes from his dream of death.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "death", "light", "God", "ark" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-24", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date wants to hold hands but Dilbert doesn't think Dogbert would allow that.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "hold hands", "prude", "permission", "fire hose", "hairball", "garden hose" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-25", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert invents the \"sonic obliterator,\" which can pulverise a buffalo.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "invention", "sonic obliterator", "buffalo", "disintegrate", "gizmo", "workbench", "tool" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-26", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert borrows the sonic obliterator.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "sonic obliterator", "post office", "mail", "truck", "trigger", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-27", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert ponders whether to use Dilbert's invention to destroy some trucks.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "sonic obliterator", "mail", "truck", "sneeze", "moral", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-28", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "A news report tells how someone with a \"sonic obliterator\" destroyed buildings and vehicles.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "news reader" ], "keywords": [ "sonic obliterator", "mail", "truck", "police", "national guard", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-29", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dilbert is upset Dogbert used the obliterator to destroy.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "sonic obliterator", "police", "FBI", "trust", "borrow", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1990-06-30", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "A police officer trails Dogbert to Dilbert's home.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "police officer" ], "keywords": [ "police", "sketch", "Mister Potato Head", "Ziggy", "artist" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-01", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert visit some neighbours, who aren't pleased to see them.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "neighbour" ], "keywords": [ "visit", "neighbour", "coffee", "television", "scum" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-02", "subject": "Family", "saga": "Bob the babysitter.", "synopsis": "Bob sees a help wanted ad for a babysitter and thinks he'd be perfect for the job.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "help wanted", "babysitter", "carnivore", "strict disciplinarian", "resume" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-03", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Bob arrives for his babysitting job.", "characters": [ "Bob", "parent" ], "keywords": [ "babysitter", "bigot", "job" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-04", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "The parents decide to interview Bob for the babysitting job.", "characters": [ "parent", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "babysitter", "carnivore", "no charge", "interview" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-05", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Bob is interviewed for a babysitting job.", "characters": [ "parent", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "babysitter", "interview", "emergency", "asteroid", "ice age" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-06", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert frightens Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "doctor" ], "keywords": [ "scare", "pillow", "fright", "ear", "corner" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-07", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dogbert's ears will return to normal when Dogbert forgives Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "forgive", "psychosomatic", "scare", "revenge", "car", "firecracker", "dynamite" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-08", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "If people had tails, they'd look silly, and even worse, they couldn't lie.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "man", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "tail", "silly", "bluff", "poker", "jury", "trial", "wag", "party", "story", "Porsche", "steamroller" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-09", "subject": "Administration", "saga": "Dilbert supervises the department secretary.", "synopsis": "A secretary is more talented than he appears.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "secretary" ], "keywords": [ "secretary", "image", "author", "jazz pianist", "thespian", "PhD", "psychology", "chef", "crisis" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-10", "subject": "Administration", "synopsis": "Dilbert is in charge of the department secretary.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "secretary" ], "keywords": [ "secretary", "personal telephone call", "costume", "discreet", "sombrero", "maracas" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-11", "subject": "Administration", "synopsis": "Dilbert discusses the secretary's career path.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "secretary" ], "keywords": [ "secretary", "supervisor", "career path", "actor", "doctor", "famous" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-12", "subject": "Administration", "synopsis": "Dilbert has trouble supervising the secretary.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "secretary" ], "keywords": [ "secretary", "supervisor", "positive reinforcement", "trust", "message", "gibberish" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-13", "subject": "Administration", "synopsis": "Dilbert thinks the secretary has a self-image problem.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "secretary", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "secretary", "supervisor", "self-image", "problem", "paper clip" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-14", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to know if it's really necessary to change oil.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "mechanic" ], "keywords": [ "garage", "oil change", "car" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss describes Irv Klepfurd's career at his retirement celebration.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Irv Klepfurd" ], "keywords": [ "retire", "pilfer", "office supplies", "paper clip", "garage", "personal telephone call", "gold watch", "banquet" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-16", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Prehistoric Dilbert invents the wheel.", "characters": [ "prehistoric Dilbert", "prehistoric Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "prehistoric", "wheel", "invention", "fire", "marshmallow", "hammer", "chisel" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-17", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert realises he's a timid person.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "shy", "timid", "blanket", "fort", "furniture" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-18", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date says she likes eye contact with a man.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "eye contact", "urge", "blink", "restaurant" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-19", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss sends Dilbert to Japan on an employee exchange program.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Japan", "competition", "technology", "exchange" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-20", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Dogbert contemplates fishing and eating worms.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "fish", "worm", "eat", "wasted step", "pillow" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-21", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "The waiter shows the results of different levels of tipping.", "characters": [ "waiter" ], "keywords": [ "waiter", "restaurant", "tip", "percentage" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-22", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert meets a dust bunny, who wants to start a tradition.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "dust bunny" ], "keywords": [ "dust bunny", "icon", "hymn", "gift", "vacuum cleaner", "housekeeping" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-23", "subject": "Science", "note": "Ratbert's first appearance.", "synopsis": "A professor presents Ratbert, a rat specially bred to be susceptible to peer pressure.", "characters": [ "professor", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "laboratory", "rat", "peer pressure", "beer", "hurting animals" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-24", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Ratbert wants to know why he is being fed a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese every day.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "professor" ], "keywords": [ "laboratory", "macaroni", "cheese", "paranoia", "sinister", "experiment", "ears" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-25", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Ratbert plans his escape from the lab.", "characters": [ "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "laboratory", "macaroni", "cheese", "escape" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-26", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert arrives at Dilbert's house.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "scratch", "laboratory", "macaroni", "cheese", "hearing", "experiment" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-27", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert asks for sanctuary at Dilbert's house.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "escape", "laboratory", "exile", "sanctuary", "embassy" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-28", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert describes his experiences at the lab.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "laboratory", "experiment", "respect", "science" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-29", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Thor visits Dogbert and asks him to become a Norse God as well.", "characters": [ "Thor", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "god of thunder", "aspirin", "pun", "Norse God", "static cling", "Velcro", "mayonnaise" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-30", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert is introduced to Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "vermin", "plague", "personality", "television" ] }, { "date": "1990-07-31", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert and Ratbert decide on a name for Ratbert.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "Mickey", "Rodney", "Bill", "Vernon" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-01", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert is introduced to Bob and Dawn.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert", "Bob", "Dawn" ], "keywords": [ "mouse", "mistake", "scare", "playing cards" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-02", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "The professor comes looking for Ratbert, his escaped lab rat.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "professor" ], "keywords": [ "laboratory", "trail", "budget", "CPR", "escape" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-03", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "The professor asks Ratbert to come back to the lab.", "characters": [ "professor", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "laboratory", "XP-39C^2", "job", "will power" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-04", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert says goodbye to Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "laboratory", "love", "stupid", "feed" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-05", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert enjoys being the first to read the Sunday newspaper.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Sunday paper", "page", "read", "punchline", "jump", "section" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-06", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "A news report says love made a lab rat stupid.", "characters": [ "news reader" ], "keywords": [ "laboratory", "love", "stupid", "Time magazine", "media", "television", "news" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-07", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dilbert starts exercising at a health club.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "exercise", "expert", "Amabor Health Club", "workout bench" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-08", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Doctor Fishlips wants Dilbert to come in for some X-rays.", "characters": [ "Doctor Fishlips", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "X-ray", "telephone", "appendectomy", "prisoner", "Tiny Tom", "escape", "stethoscope", "police officer" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-09", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "The doctor explains a small person may have hidden inside Dilbert during his operation.", "characters": [ "Doctor Fishlips", "police officer", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "appendectomy", "prison", "patient", "Tiny Tom", "torso", "Alien", "movie", "stethoscope" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-10", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "In an X-Ray of Dilbert, the doctor locates Tiny Tom.", "characters": [ "Doctor Fishlips", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Tiny Tom", "X-ray", "pancreas", "suspension of disbelief", "nurse", "tramp", "stethoscope", "police officer" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-11", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dilbert relates his story of how people had hidden inside his torso during an operation.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "surgery", "convict", "torso", "medical story", "boring" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-12", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert make jokes at each others expense.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "joke", "engineer", "lightbulb", "equator", "fungus", "steamroller", "personal" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-13", "subject": "Accounting", "saga": "Dilbert visits the Accounting Department.", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to go to the Accounting Department and find out the meaning of a report.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "accountant", "Bradley" ], "keywords": [ "report", "fear", "crystal ball", "witch", "troll" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-14", "subject": "Accounting", "synopsis": "Dilbert nervously enters the Accounting Department.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "accountant", "Bradley" ], "keywords": [ "entrance", "visit", "question", "chain", "tied up", "spear", "witch", "troll" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-15", "subject": "Accounting", "synopsis": "The Accounting person asks Dilbert why he came to the Accounting Department.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "accountant", "Bradley" ], "keywords": [ "inquisition", "sex", "androgynous", "witch", "troll", "chain", "spear" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-16", "subject": "Accounting", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets treated more leniently than others for questioning a budget report.", "characters": [ "accountant", "Dilbert", "Bradley" ], "keywords": [ "budget report", "explanation", "chain", "torture", "analysis", "witch", "troll" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-17", "subject": "Accounting", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets conscripted to work in Accounting.", "characters": [ "accountant", "Dilbert", "Bradley" ], "keywords": [ "engineer", "change", "air", "training", "attitude", "witch", "troll" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-18", "subject": "Accounting", "synopsis": "Bradley shows Dilbert how numbers create reality instead of reflect reality.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Bradley" ], "keywords": [ "numbers change reality", "reflect", "create", "budget", "troll" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-19", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert computes an asteroid will collide with Earth in two minutes.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "asteroid", "astronomy", "telescope", "collision", "repent" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-20", "subject": "Accounting", "synopsis": "Dilbert slowly turns into a troll as he works in the Accounting Department. He destroys the Accounting Department by erasing its budget.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Bradley", "accountant" ], "keywords": [ "troll", "budget", "melt" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-21", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dogbert joins the anti-fur movement.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "anti-fur", "hypocritical", "fur", "protest" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-22", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dogbert confronts a woman about her fur coat.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "lady" ], "keywords": [ "protest", "fur", "conscience", "mink", "coat", "mitten" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-23", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dogbert protests in front of a store that has a fur sale.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "store owner" ], "keywords": [ "fur", "protest", "store", "spelling", "murder" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-24", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Wally exchange bad jokes.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "work hard", "hardly working", "snort", "curse" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-25", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert says people who don't own cars should be able to use car phones.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "idea", "telephone", "car", "prestige", "coin" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-26", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Should you salt your food before tasting?", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "food", "salt", "portion" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-27", "subject": "Retail", "saga": "Dilbert and his love of tools.", "synopsis": "Some mysterious force draws Dilbert into a hardware store.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "hardware store", "force", "clothes", "shop", "naked", "engineer", "tool", "polka-dot underwear" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-28", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders what it was like before tools were invented.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "hardware store", "shop", "binge", "tool", "Phillips screw", "fern" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-29", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells the psychologist about his love of tools.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "psychologist" ], "keywords": [ "hardware store", "tool", "irrational", "stupid guy-thing" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-30", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert continues on the psychologist's couch.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "psychologist" ], "keywords": [ "hardware store", "tool", "feeling", "selfish" ] }, { "date": "1990-08-31", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "The psychologist complains about her job and how she hates hearing about problems.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "psychologist" ], "keywords": [ "date", "biological clock", "problem", "ethics", "ugly" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-01", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert invents fins for humans to be more aerodynamic.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "fin", "aerodynamic", "invention", "Charles Darwin" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert feels the Boss doesn't respect him, and tells him so.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "body language", "respect", "sneeze", "shirt", "rip", "intangible" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-03", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert has a brochure for his new health spa.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "brochure", "mineral water", "smart", "health", "spa" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-04", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Bob is the new masseur at Dogbert's spa.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "spa", "massage", "hurt", "mineral water", "client", "new age" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-05", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert greets customers at his new spa.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "spa clients" ], "keywords": [ "spa", "mineral water", "Atlantis", "crystal", "doughnut", "cash register" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-06", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "The schedule is announced at Dogbert's spa.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "spa", "mineral water", "new age", "chowder", "Jackie Mason", "therapy" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-07", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert introduced the relaxation phase in the spa.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "spa", "mineral water", "therapy", "pharaoh", "pyramid", "bandage", "bullhorn" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-08", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "An unsatisfied client speaks her mind about Dogbert's spa.", "characters": [ "client", "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "spa", "mineral water", "rip-off", "free sample", "evil", "water hose" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-09", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert's foot, arm and tongue fall asleep.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "sleep", "blood", "foot", "arm", "hop", "tongue", "nose", "sneeze" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-10", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets chosen for a space shuttle mission.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "NASA engineer" ], "keywords": [ "space shuttle", "mission", "leader", "field", "NASA", "nerd", "weightless", "study" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-11", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets a space shuttle mission briefing.", "characters": [ "NASA engineer", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "space shuttle", "mission", "astronaut", "monkey", "Nintendo", "video" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-12", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "An unemployed man explains why Americans are losing to foreign business.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "unemployed man" ], "keywords": [ "market share", "ethics", "foreign business", "park bench" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-13", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "A repairman looks at Dilbert's television.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "television repairman" ], "keywords": [ "television", "repair", "part", "engineer's pill", "knock out" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-14", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert gives an opposing view on animal rights.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "news reader" ], "keywords": [ "editorial", "television", "ruler", "disclaimer", "microphone" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-15", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Dilbert compares a woman to a bottle of wine.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "woman", "wine", "distinct", "life", "cork", "sniffer" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-16", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "An old lady in a supermarket express lane takes a lot of time.", "characters": [ "lady", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "supermarket", "grocery", "express", "coupon", "cheque", "check", "purse", "handbag", "coyote" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-17", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Mother nature takes revenge on people contributing to the ozone problem.", "characters": [ "Mother Nature", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "ozone", "air freshener", "lightning" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-18", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert's computer model on holes in the ozone is destroyed.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "ozone", "lightning", "computer model" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-19", "subject": "Science", "saga": "Mother nature evicts everyone from the planet.", "synopsis": "Mother Nature wants everybody off the planet.", "characters": [ "Mother Nature", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "evict", "plastic", "planet", "pollution", "ecology" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-20", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't want to leave the planet, and tells Mother Nature.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Mother Nature" ], "keywords": [ "evict", "planet", "pollute", "ecology", "dolphin", "acid rain", "recycle" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-21", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Mother Nature says people can stay on the planet, but makes an example of Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Mother Nature", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "evict", "litter", "pollute", "planet", "Gary Larson", "deer", "hood", "prize", "The Far Side" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-22", "subject": "Science", "saga": "Dilbert is killed by deer.", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets shot by deer with a bow and arrow.", "characters": [ "deer" ], "keywords": [ "headlight", "trophy", "computer", "tree", "programmer's daze", "arrow", "opposable thumbs" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-23", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert introduces procedures to the household.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "bureaucracy", "form", "food", "drink", "procedure", "deny", "file cabinet" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-24", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "A police officer tells Dogbert Dilbert has been killed by deer.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "police officer" ], "keywords": [ "death", "news", "deer", "hunt", "fingerprint" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-25", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert deals with the stages of grief at Dilbert's death.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "grief", "denial", "anger", "economics", "funeral", "pillow" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-26", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert talks to a psychologist about Dilbert's death.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "psychologist" ], "keywords": [ "death", "grief", "inheritance", "sorrow", "couch" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-27", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dogbert inherited a strange invention from Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "will", "stiff", "invention", "inheritance", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-28", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Bob and Dogbert examine the gadget Dilbert left them.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "will", "custodian", "soap dispenser", "guess", "inheritance", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-29", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert still doesn't know what Dilbert left him in his will.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "invention", "death", "inheritance", "evolution", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1990-09-30", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dogbert consults a doctor about his happy tongue.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "doctor" ], "keywords": [ "happy tongue", "worry", "tongue depressor" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-01", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert's invention, that was willed to Dogbert, comes to life with a holographic message.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "death", "invention", "holograph", "grave", "chile con carne", "recipe", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-02", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert awakes and thinks he had dreamed Dilbert's death.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "nightmare", "death", "deer", "chile con carne", "dream", "pillow" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-03", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "The Garbageman pulls a cloning machine out of Dilbert's garbage.", "characters": [ "Garbageman", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "garbage", "clone", "death", "math", "holograph", "chile con carne", "garbage can" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-04", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks the Garbageman to finish Dilbert's cloning machine to get Dilbert back.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Garbageman" ], "keywords": [ "clone", "death", "filter", "part", "stigma", "garbage can", "stigma" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-05", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "The Garbageman and Dogbert try to create a clone of the dead Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Garbageman", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "clone", "death", "machine", "Arm and Hammer", "creature", "garbage can", "gizmo", "baking soda" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-06", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders why his is in a garbage can without clothes.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "clone", "death", "naked", "garbage can", "deer", "pool" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-07", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dogbert rubs lamps hopefully.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "genie" ], "keywords": [ "rub", "lamp", "genie", "magic", "wish", "relish", "wiener" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-08", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert thanks Dogbert for cloning him after his death.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "clone", "alive", "tradition", "slave", "banana split", "naked" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-09", "subject": "Administration", "synopsis": "The admin assistant fills in an absence report for the time Dilbert was off work.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "administrator" ], "keywords": [ "sick", "deer", "clone", "off work", "absence report" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-10", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert notices a young couple kissing in the park.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "kiss", "park", "public", "impolite", "victim", "stare", "public display of affection", "PDA", "park bench" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-11", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert receives an elbow warmer from his Aunt Helen.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "elbow warmer", "gift", "Aunt Helen", "knit", "chain" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-12", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date has trouble expressing her feelings about him.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "feeling", "field", "wheat", "restaurant", "bird", "tractor" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-13", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert has woken up for work then realises it's Saturday.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "work", "Saturday", "bed" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-14", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dogbert leaps to an old lady's aid after her purse was stolen.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "lady", "mugger" ], "keywords": [ "mug", "purse snatch", "reward", "Chiclets", "bystander" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-15", "subject": "Law", "saga": "Dilbert and Dogbert serve on a jury at a murder trial.", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert get called for jury duty.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "mail", "letter", "jury duty", "Ed McMahon", "betray", "mailbox" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-16", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dogbert doesn't want to serve on a jury.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "jury duty", "waste of time", "civic", "free society", "letter" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-17", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "A lawyer describes his client at the jury selection.", "characters": [ "lawyer" ], "keywords": [ "jury duty", "select", "client", "victim", "allege", "defence", "court" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-18", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "A lawyer says his client could not have committed the crimes he was accused of.", "characters": [ "lawyer", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "trial", "jury duty", "defendant", "kill", "crime", "accuse", "court", "axe", "executioner's hood" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-19", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dogbert, a juror, says he killed the people, not the defendant.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "trial", "jury duty", "innocent", "outburst", "court", "kill" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-20", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "A lawyer says so what if his client killed twelve people.", "characters": [ "lawyer" ], "keywords": [ "trial", "jury duty", "court", "client", "lineup", "axe", "executioner's hood" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-21", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks a woman why she is hugging a loaf of bread.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "park", "bench", "baby", "bread", "loaf", "bond" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-22", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dogbert elects himself to be jury foreman.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "jury duty", "trial", "foreman", "evidence", "coin" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-23", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dogbert reads the jury's verdict to the judge.", "characters": [ "judge", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "jury duty", "trial", "verdict", "attorney", "sentence", "muumuu" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-24", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The Boss asks if there are any questions at the end of a staff meeting.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Johnson" ], "keywords": [ "staff meeting", "question", "quality", "customer", "focus" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-25", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert looks at a painting where the eyes follow you.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "gallery attendant" ], "keywords": [ "art", "exhibit", "painting", "effect", "weird", "home", "gallery" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-26", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets his mail, some of which is addressed to him.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "mail", "letter", "resident" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-27", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dogbert demonstrates how to be a boring person -- counting numbers that are divisible by two.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "boring", "list", "numbers", "counting on fingers" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-28", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wendel gives Dilbert a slap on the back, and Dilbert is suspicious about a \"kick me\" sign.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wendel" ], "keywords": [ "slap on the back", "kick me", "paper towel", "men's room" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-29", "subject": "Family", "saga": "Dilbert hires a nasty cleaning person.", "synopsis": "Dilbert hired a house cleaner to come weekly.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Mr. Tidy" ], "keywords": [ "flame thrower", "house", "clean", "mildew", "cleaning person", "Mohawk", "apron", "feather duster" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-30", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "The cleaning person says he is experienced and has cleaned out many nice homes.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Mr. Tidy" ], "keywords": [ "cleaning person", "agency", "van", "Mohawk", "eye patch", "apron" ] }, { "date": "1990-10-31", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert's cleaning person loads Dilbert's possessions into his van.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Mr. Tidy" ], "keywords": [ "cleaning person", "van", "vacuum", "watchdog", "beg for mercy", "Mohawk", "eye patch", "apron", "television" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-01", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert discovers his house has been cleaned -- of furniture.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "steal", "rob", "furniture", "van", "quit", "job description", "watchdog" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-02", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to catch and punish the cleaner who robbed his house.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "vigilante", "steal", "rob", "furniture", "justice", "revenge", "suffer" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert finds the man who robbed his house.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "vigilante", "rob", "steal", "replace", "Vidal Sassoon", "fight", "Mohawk", "eye patch" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-04", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "Dilbert shops at Nerdstrom, a full service store, for a pen.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "Nerdstrom", "colour", "masseuse", "pen", "Bic", "indentured servant" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss isn't sure whether to get rid of the impostor who stole Dilbert's job.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Mr. Tidy" ], "keywords": [ "vigilante", "impostor", "steal", "report", "look", "Mohawk", "eye patch" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-06", "subject": "Family", "note": "The fine print says \"Don't you hate it when they say CONTINUED.\"", "synopsis": "Dilbert was fired because the crook stole his job.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "fired", "crook", "impostor", "friend" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-07", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert goes to see the crook who stole Dilbert's furniture and job.", "characters": [ "Mr. Tidy", "Dogbert", "Bob", "Dawn" ], "keywords": [ "watchdog", "rob", "steal", "honesty", "flush", "toilet", "Mohawk", "eye patch" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-08", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert is asked to explain how the system works to some marketing people.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "marketing", "electron", "virtual", "array", "creative" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-09", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "Dilbert can't withdraw money from the bank until he defeats the teller in combat.", "characters": [ "Ethel", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Bank of Ethel", "withdraw", "hand to hand combat", "automated teller machine", "bandage" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-10", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert plan their vacation, somewhere where leaves turn orange.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "vacation", "nature", "leaf", "Los Angeles", "scream", "traffic" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-11", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date tells him it's just a pity date.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "first date", "grace", "beauty", "pity date", "pantyhose", "dress", "restaurant" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-12", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert plans his busy day.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "plan", "sit", "eat", "pace" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-13", "subject": "Personal", "saga": "Dilbert's ego escapes again.", "synopsis": "Dilbert's ego comes again to feed itself.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert's ego" ], "keywords": [ "disown", "feed", "toupee" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-14", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert's ego wants a toupee.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert's ego" ], "keywords": [ "toupee", "bald", "hair", "broccoli" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-15", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "Dilbert's ego buys a toupee.", "characters": [ "Dilbert's ego", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "toupee", "Roy Orbison", "image", "sunglasses", "personality" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-16", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert's ego, now with a toupee and sunglasses, goes dating.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert's ego" ], "keywords": [ "toupee", "Roy Orbison", "dating scene", "Porsche" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-17", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert's ego has grown since getting a toupee.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert's ego" ], "keywords": [ "toupee", "party", "police", "telephone number", 911, "roommate" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-18", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dogbert complains about the canister vacuum cleaner.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "canister", "vacuum cleaner", "hose", "wheel", "carpet", "outlet", "cord", "grandfather", "polka-dot underwear" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-19", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert's ego wants to leave.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's ego", "Dilbert's insecurities" ], "keywords": [ "toupee", "sunglasses" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-20", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert's ego and insecurities fight.", "characters": [ "Dilbert's ego", "Dilbert's insecurities" ], "keywords": [ "toupee", "pudding", "fright", "fable", "fight" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-21", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dogbert admires the stars in the sky.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "star", "night", "dead", "light", "misconception" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-22", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks a butcher about cured ham.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "butcher" ], "keywords": [ "butcher", "ham", "cured", "sick", "mirth" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-23", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "Dilbert sees an exploding cigar at a joke shop.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "gag shop", "joke shop", "exploding cigar" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-24", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows an exploding cigar to Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "exploding cigar", "funny", "hooked", "addiction" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-25", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert goes out to scare strangers.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "scare", "fright", "rabies", "pit bull", "global warming", "acid rain", "national debt", "ozone" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-26", "subject": "Family", "saga": "Bob and Dawn start a family.", "synopsis": "Bob and Dawn want to have an egg.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Dawn", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "National Geographic", "egg", "blessing", "instruction", "sex" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-27", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Bob and Dawn ask Dogbert how to have an egg.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "egg", "Jello", "yodel", "sex" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-28", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Bob asks the library reference desk how to have an egg.", "characters": [ "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "egg", "library", "reference desk", "instruction", "telephone", "gross", "sex" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-29", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dawn tells Bob she's pregnant.", "characters": [ "Dawn", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "egg", "craving", "pregnant", "credit", "sex" ] }, { "date": "1990-11-30", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Bob and Dawn tell Dogbert they're going to have an egg.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "egg", "pregnant", "white", "brag" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-01", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dawn and Bob think of a name for their new egg.", "characters": [ "Dawn", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "name", "egg", "Shelley", "hatch" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-02", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert makes avocado dip, but Dogbert says he doesn't like avocados.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "avocado dip", "hate", "potato chip", "logic", "deal", "nose", "lie" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-03", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Bob baby-sits the egg.", "characters": [ "Dawn", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "babysit", "egg", "dad" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-04", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Bob plans a room for the new baby.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Dawn" ], "keywords": [ "nest", "room", "closet", "hole", "dirt" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-05", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Bob and Dawn's egg hatches.", "characters": [ "Dawn", "Bob", "Rex" ], "keywords": [ "egg", "hatch", "kick", "lesson", "cave" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-06", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Bob and dawn have a baby, which shows Bob's traits.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Dawn" ], "keywords": [ "dinosaur", "brain", "cave" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-07", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "The baby is named.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Dawn", "Rex" ], "keywords": [ "baby", "wreck", "living room", "kitchen", "bedroom" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-08", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Rex goes wild by constantly running around the house.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Bob", "Rex" ], "keywords": [ "baby", "wild", "run", "reason" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-09", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to become an ambassador for the country of Pingo-Pongo.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "ambassador" ], "keywords": [ "Pingo-Pongo", "radical", "embassy", "diplomatic immunity", "weapon", "Jello", "trust" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-10", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dawn shows Bob how to be firm with Rex.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Dawn", "Rex" ], "keywords": [ "discipline", "spank", "firm", "Mother's Day", "Fathers Day", "resentful" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-11", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Bob wants Rex to do what he's told for two decades.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Rex" ], "keywords": [ "parent", "childhood", "discipline", "cave" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-12", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dawn says Rex should listen to her, to avoid danger.", "characters": [ "Dawn", "Rex", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "parent", "mother", "experience", "danger", "eye", "cave" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-13", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "A stranger appears glum because he has lost face.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "plastic surgeon" ], "keywords": [ "glum", "lost face" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-14", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "Dilbert and other engineers top each other with \"I once built\" bragging.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "engineer", "brag", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-15", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "A women's hair contains clues to her marital status.", "characters": [ "woman" ], "keywords": [ "clue", "hair", "single", "marry", "kid" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-16", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dilbert bumps somebody's car and winds up in court.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "circus contortionist", "lawyer" ], "keywords": [ "car", "accident", "bumper", "contortionist", "law", "court", "settlement", "circus", "trial" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-17", "subject": "Family", "saga": "Dogbert protests against opera.", "synopsis": "Dogbert protests opera's obscene lyrics.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "lyrics", "opera", "obscene", "letter", "protest", "language", "sheltered life" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-18", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert rails against opera and wants it banned from television.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "opera", "television", "ban", "obscene", "language", "children", "Viking", "holler" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-19", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "A television executive reads an opera protest letter from Dogbert.", "characters": [ "television executive" ], "keywords": [ "letter", "complaint", "obscene", "opera", "lyrics", "Italian" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-20", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "Dogbert writes to his senator to protest obscene lyrics in opera.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "senator" ], "keywords": [ "constitutional amendment", "lyrics", "opera", "obscene", "issue" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-21", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "A senator wants to take up banning opera because there's no political risk.", "characters": [ "senator Newt Axxes" ], "keywords": [ "opera", "ban", "protest", "poll", "risk", "election", "corpse" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-22", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert warns of censorship of opera lyrics.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "censor", "opera", "art", "campaign" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-23", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert describes his Christmas wish list -- domination, happiness, ego gratification.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Christmas", "world domination", "ego", "love", "laugh", "wish", "fireplace", "stocking" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-24", "subject": "Performance Review", "saga": "Dilbert's invention -- automatic dentures.", "synopsis": "At Dilbert's annual review, he describes his biggest accomplishment -- automatic dentures.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "automatic", "dentures", "pause", "invention" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-25", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert demonstrates his invention -- automatic dentures.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "automatic", "dentures", "eat", "meat loaf", "Willy Johnson", "bad news", "workbench", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-26", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert's invention, automatic dentures, mistook Johnson for a meat loaf.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "automatic", "dentures", "meat loaf", "Willy Johnson", "form", "dead", "workbench", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-27", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert breaks the news about Willy Johnson being eaten to his widow.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Widow Johnson" ], "keywords": [ "automatic", "dentures", "invention", "bad news" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-28", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Police investigate Willy Johnson's death.", "characters": [ "police officer", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "investigation", "automatic", "dentures", "Willy Johnson", "test", "corn on the cob" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-29", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert describes his blind date -- she had too much makeup on, and Dilbert had to do the talking.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "blind date", "makeup", "mime", "invisible dog" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-30", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets an Alpine Ski Machine to get rid of pounds.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "fitness", "television", "advertisement", "alpine ski machine", "exercise", "trapped" ] }, { "date": "1990-12-31", "subject": "Technology", "note": "Scott Adam's Prodigy e-mail address is announced.", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets e-mail. The ID on Prodigy is MWPG03A.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "efficiency", "Prodigy", "Scott Adams' e-mail address" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-01", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dilbert was so poor he could only afford two-bean salad.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "poor", "two-bean salad", "hundred-island dressing" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-02", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert comments on Dilbert's book so far.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "book", "Moby Dick", "metaphor", "imagery", "smell", "whale" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-03", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "There hasn't been a murder for a long time and Dilbert and Dogbert have differing opinions about when the next one will happen.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "murder", "optimist", "pessimism" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-04", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Great granddad Dilbert invents sliced bread, the greatest invention since ...", "characters": [ "great granddad Dilbert", "great granddad Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "bread", "slice", "invention", "greatest thing", "moustache" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-05", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dogbert was hit by a Volkswagen.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "accident", "car", "Volkswagen", "fahrvergnugen", "traffic", "hurt" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert has an idea and his boss tries to hide it.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "idea", "secret", "power-hungry", "brick" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-07", "subject": "Dating", "saga": "Dilbert dates a dog.", "synopsis": "Dilbert is nervous before his blind date. His date turns out to be a dog.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Judy" ], "keywords": [ "date", "blind date", "dog", "fetching", "nervous", "compliment", "flowers" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-08", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Judy says she's a woman trapped in a dog's body.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Judy" ], "keywords": [ "blind date", "restaurant", "species", "operation", "electrolysis" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-09", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert says he wouldn't have gone out with Judy if he had known she was a dog.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Judy" ], "keywords": [ "blind date", "dog's body", "let's be friends", "pet" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-10", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date with a dog is over, and it's time for a good night kiss.", "characters": [ "Judy", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "blind date", "kiss", "fetch", "graceful", "stick" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-11", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert watches a news broadcast, which advises of body parts strewn for miles.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "news reader" ], "keywords": [ "news", "television", "crash", "body parts", "sandwich" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-12", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A man says he worked as a sheep rancher before he worked at the office.", "characters": [ "co-worker", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "sheep", "rancher", "count sheep", "asleep" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-13", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "The most feared creature on the face of the earth is .. the ugly single male.", "characters": [ "Donald Trump", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "creature", "fear", "rabies", "ugly", "sacrifice", "maiden", "eye contact", "draw straws" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-14", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert's Museum of the Strange and Amazing.", "synopsis": "Dogbert wrote the entire Encyclopedia Britannica on a single hair.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Encyclopedia Britannica", "micro", "hair", "museum", "prove", "Bible" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-15", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert opens a \"Museum of the Strange and Amazing.\"", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "tourist" ], "keywords": [ "museum of the strange and amazing", "Dan Quayle", "brain", "Marilyn Quayle", "cauliflower" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-16", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert stops at the next exhibit: a shirt made of Tasmanian Woogat Silk.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "tourist" ], "keywords": [ "museum of the strange and amazing", "shirt", "Tasmanian Woogat Silk", "polyester", "gift shop" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-17", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert shows the remains of D.B. Cooper.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "museum of the strange and amazing", "DB Cooper", "hijack", "parachute", "rob", "remains", "crash", "museum" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-18", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert shows his pride exhibit: an engineer.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "tourist" ], "keywords": [ "museum of the strange and amazing", "exhibit", "engineer", "trance", "whiffle ball" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-19", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert shows off his latest exhibit: a piece of the Berlin Wall.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Flossie", "tourist" ], "keywords": [ "museum of the strange and amazing", "Berlin Wall", "hillbilly", "sidewalk", "trade", "apology" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-20", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "Why do politicians lie? Dogbert explains.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "politician", "lie", "election", "vote", "truth", "knowledge", "danger" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-21", "subject": "Science", "saga": "The Scientist Anti-Defamation League.", "synopsis": "Dilbert joined the \"Scientist Anti-Defamation League.\"", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Scientist Anti-Defamation League", "stereotype", "media", "concentration", "tie" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-22", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "The meeting of the Scientist Anti-Defamation league is about social lives.", "characters": [ "scientist" ], "keywords": [ "Scientist Anti-Defamation League", "meeting", "stereotype", "social life", "Saturday" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-23", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "The meeting of the Scientist Anti-Defamation League starts with a film about stereotypes.", "characters": [ "scientist" ], "keywords": [ "Scientist Anti-Defamation League", "film", "meeting", "projector", "volunteer" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-24", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "All of the Scientist Anti-Defamation League members are male. How do they fix that?", "characters": [ "scientist" ], "keywords": [ "Scientist Anti-Defamation League", "stereotype", "aerobic instructor", "male" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-25", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "The Scientist Anti-Defamation League has a fund raiser.", "characters": [ "scientist", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Scientist Anti-Defamation League", "bake sale", "fund raiser", "volcano", "fiasco" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss recognises Wilson for working hard and helping the project.", "characters": [ "Boss", "employee" ], "keywords": [ "employee recognition program", "project", "mistaken identity" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-27", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains the difference between good and evil to Rex.", "characters": [ "Rex", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "good", "evil", "heart", "gut", "brain" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-28", "subject": "Health", "saga": "Dilbert visits a low cost medical centre.", "synopsis": "Dilbert goes to a medical centre and selects the full service.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "nurse", "doctor" ], "keywords": [ "medical centre", "self service", "full service", "glasses", "shirt", "stethoscope" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-29", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "A doctor explains how the Jiffy Med Centre keeps its costs down.", "characters": [ "doctor" ], "keywords": [ "medical centre", "cost", "training", "stethoscope" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-30", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "A doctor listens to Dilbert's chest and asks him to sing.", "characters": [ "doctor", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "medical centre", "cough", "Liza Minnelli", "Sony Walkman", "cabaret", "stethoscope" ] }, { "date": "1991-01-31", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "The doctor gives Dilbert some unconventional treatment for his arm.", "characters": [ "doctor", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "medical centre", "treatment", "Demon of Gaath", "unconventional", "stethoscope" ] }, { "date": "1991-02-01", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "A doctor charges Dilbert for not even looking at his arm.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "doctor" ], "keywords": [ "fee", "arm", "word", "skimp", "stethoscope" ] }, { "date": "1991-02-02", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains how laws are made to Rex.", "characters": [ "Rex", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "congress", "law", "veto", "president", "balance of power", "pay" ] }, { "date": "1991-02-03", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains how to get free energy by stealing electricity from the phone.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "energy", "free", "telephone", "electricity", "junk mail", "burn", "fire", "heat", "sneezing pepper", "fan" ] }, { "date": "1991-02-04", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dogbert writes to Millie, President Bush's dog.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "president", "George Bush", "Millie", "letter", "write", "springer spaniel" ] }, { "date": "1991-02-05", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert muses on how he will rule the Earth, while Dilbert is unsuspecting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "conquest", "servant", "pillow" ] }, { "date": "1991-02-06", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Sheep jokes.", "characters": [ "sheep" ], "keywords": [ "sheep", "joke", "herd", "mutton", "night" ] }, { "date": "1991-02-07", "subject": "Entrepreneur", "synopsis": "Wally wants to quit and become an entrepreneur.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "quit", "risk", "challenge", "pay" ] }, { "date": "1991-02-08", "subject": "Travel", "saga": "Dilbert and Dogbert visit Clyde Canyon.", "synopsis": "A travel agent recommends Clyde Canyon for Dilbert's vacation.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "travel agent" ], "keywords": [ "Clyde Canyon", "vacation", "scenery", "trip", "tour", "brochure" ] }, { "date": "1991-02-09", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Dogbert about his vacation plans to Clyde Canyon.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Clyde Canyon", "vacation", "hole", "ground", "mistress", "gusto" ] }, { "date": "1991-02-10", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "How ladies can avoid meeting Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "avoid", "guide", "headphone", "run", "jog", "eye contact", "BO", "weather", "car", "ladies' night", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1991-02-11", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert fly to Clyde Canyon.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "stewardess" ], "keywords": [ "airplane", "flight", "vacation", "Clyde Canyon", "luggage", "overhead" ] }, { "date": "1991-02-12", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert hike to Clyde Canyon.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Clyde Canyon", "vacation", "hike", "trail", "sign", "backpack" ] }, { "date": "1991-02-13", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert, at Clyde Canyon, complain about its size.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Clyde Canyon", "vacation", "brochure", "optimist", "base camp", "backpack" ] }, { "date": "1991-02-14", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders about spending too much money at Clyde Canyon.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Clyde Canyon", "vacation", "money", "question", "hole" ] }, { "date": "1991-02-15", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "After a week at Clyde Canyon, Dilbert and Dogbert find out they're at the wrong place.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "hiker" ], "keywords": [ "Clyde Canyon", "vacation", "rip-off", "hole", "ridge", "photo" ] }, { "date": "1991-02-16", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert arrive back home from their vacation.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "vacation", "obligation", "hate", "stupid", "theory", "backpack" ] }, { "date": "1991-02-17", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert sees some road kill and doesn't know how to deal with it.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "car", "drive", "road kill", "bird", "dead", "disgusting", "look away", "brain" ] }, { "date": "1991-02-18", "subject": "Science", "saga": "Dilbert discovers anti-gravity.", "synopsis": "Dilbert invents an anti-gravity formula, and expects fame.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "anti-gravity", "formula", "fly", "potion", "bid for attention", "famous", "test tube" ] }, { "date": "1991-02-19", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert thinks his anti-gravity discovery is the greatest discovery of the century.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "anti-gravity", "discovery", "benefit", "society" ] }, { "date": "1991-02-20", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells CBS News about his anti-gravity discovery.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "anti-gravity", "discovery", "CBS News", "press conference", "investigative report", "suntan lotion", "bikini", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1991-02-21", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells ABC News about his anti-gravity discovery.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "anti-gravity", "discovery", "ABC News", "weight loss", "exercise", "mislead", "ethics", "marketing", "theft" ] }, { "date": "1991-02-22", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert sneezes while hovering with anti-gravity.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "anti-gravity", "discovery", "impress", "sneeze", "ceiling", "burrito", "ladder", "stuck" ] }, { "date": "1991-02-23", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells the guys at work about his anti-gravity discovery.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "anti-gravity", "discovery", "impress", "bird-house", "weekend", "hum" ] }, { "date": "1991-02-24", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "Aliens land and want Dogbert to take them to a leader.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "alien", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "spaceship", "take us to your leader", "leader", "spiritual", "economics", "military", "city", "federal", "world", "trick question", "grocery store", "ray gun" ] }, { "date": "1991-02-25", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert sells the rights to his anti-gravity invention.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "anti-gravity", "rights", "profit", "money", "jump", "ledge", "gross" ] }, { "date": "1991-02-26", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "A beauty product company advertises Dilbert's anti-gravity discovery.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "anti-gravity", "advertisement", "beauty product", "patent", "breast" ] }, { "date": "1991-02-27", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert thinks it's great to be a dog because he can nap any time he wants.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "nap", "tired", "hate", "life", "Good Thing" ] }, { "date": "1991-02-28", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "Dilbert can't find a salesperson when he wants to buy something, but...", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "shop", "sale", "clerk", "just looking" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-01", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert reads Elbonia has been reclassified as a second-world country.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "third-world country", "eat", "airline food" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-02", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert oversleeps and has a headache.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "wake", "morning", "oversleep", "cure", "headache", "alarm clock" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants the Swedish women's swim team to stay at Dilbert's house.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "sponsor", "Swedish women", "swim team", "hotel", "expense", "bonus", "yank", "cheque", "joke" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-04", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert opens a school for self-service gas station attendants.", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to open a vocational school for self-service gas station attendants.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "school", "vocation", "attendant", "self-service gas station", "student" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-05", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dilbert teaches potential attendants for self-service gas stations to do nothing.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "student" ], "keywords": [ "school", "self-service gas station", "vocation", "attendant", "building", "Fotomat", "congress", "career" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-06", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert says his school for gas station attendants will not be easy.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Phillips" ], "keywords": [ "school", "vocation", "self-service gas station", "attendant", "pump", "curve" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-07", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "A student at Dogbert's school for self-service gas station attendants asks if there are any military benefits.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "student" ], "keywords": [ "school", "vocation", "self-service gas station", "attendant", "benefit", "uniform" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-08", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert teaches his students at the school for self-service gas station attendants to relax.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "school", "vocation", "self-service gas station", "attendant", "relax", "mind", "thought" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-09", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert closes his school for self-service gas station attendants.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "school", "vocation", "self-service gas station", "attendant", "close", "fold", "map", "paper cut", "panic", "dead" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-10", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert's neighbour is annoying so Dilbert takes revenge by taking control of all the neighbours home systems.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "neighbour" ], "keywords": [ "home", "annoy", "obnoxious", "computer", "television", "microwave", "telephone", "life support", "computer science", "dish antenna" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-11", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert shreds some papers.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "shredder", "paper", "clothing", "hate" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-12", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The shredder tried to kill, Dilbert explains to the Boss.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "paranoid", "shred", "coffee machine", "kill" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks the workers to dress as their favourite animals.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Japanese businessmen" ], "keywords": [ "business trip", "Japan", "productivity", "animal costume", "calisthenics", "beaver", "dolphin" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-14", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert hears about a study of sitting on a pillow and watching television.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "study", "pillow", "television", "standards", "celebrity", "burp", "encore" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-15", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert, walking down a hallway, is on a collision course with Wally.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "hallway", "walk", "avoid", "dance", "collision" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-16", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "A police officer arrests Dilbert for staying up late and playing on a computer.", "characters": [ "police officer", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "late", "play", "computer", "sleep", "resist", "rest" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-17", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert takes over as leader of a Beaver Troop to further his ambitions for world conquest.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "kid" ], "keywords": [ "Beaver Troop", "leader", "ambition", "world conquest", "servant", "merit badge" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-18", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert quizzes Bob on how he gets along with a tiny brain.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "dinosaur", "brain" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-19", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Dilbert has a big sneeze at a meeting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "sneeze", "upset", "pretend", "leave town", "name" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-20", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Dogbert about his sneeze at a meeting.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "sneeze", "toupee", "vice president", "director of marketing", "rib", "gesundheit" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-21", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to reschedule after missing a doctor's appointment.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "appointment", "reschedule", "sick", "excuse" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-22", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert annoys Dilbert to get out of his bad mood.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "bad mood", "annoy", "ear", "match" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-23", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "A man asks Dogbert how he is. Dogbert wants to know what type of answer to give.", "characters": [ "man", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "how are you?", "social pulp", "care", "feeling", "fine" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-24", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert has been weightlifting to look good.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "weightlifting", "muscle", "armpit", "Latin", "looks" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-25", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "A street vendor hawks nose puppies.", "characters": [ "sales rep", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "nose", "puppy", "ceramic", "motto", "find a need and fill it" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-26", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "A street vendor explains about nose puppies.", "characters": [ "sales rep", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "nose", "puppy", "concept", "money", "philanthropy" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-27", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "A kid wants an excuse for not doing his homework, so asks Dogbert to chew on his paper.", "characters": [ "kid", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "mutt", "homework", "excuse", "dog ate my homework" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-28", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Representatives from the Women's Power Organisation call on Dilbert.", "characters": [ "woman", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Women's Power Organisation", "solicit", "door to door", "hit" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-29", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dilbert got the pink slip today, he tells Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "pink slip", "feel", "colour", "underwear" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-30", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries his hand at drawing \"The Simpsons.\"", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Simpsons", "Bart Simpson", "bicycle", "draw" ] }, { "date": "1991-03-31", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert is alone at an office party and feels self-conscious.", "note": "This strip is not collected in any book and is only available online.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "cocktail", "drink", "party", "buffet", "alone", "mingle" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-01", "subject": "Science", "saga": "Andy the Android.", "synopsis": "Dilbert builds an android from a kit.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "android", "kit", "personality", "walk", "talk", "dress" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-02", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Andy the Android does as he's designed -- to observe and imitate humans.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Andy" ], "keywords": [ "android", "kit", "behaviour", "child", "annoy", "analysis", "imitate" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-03", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Andy the Android brags he will live forever.", "characters": [ "Andy", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "android", "immortal", "forever", "bore" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-04", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Dogbert sums up what humans do in life: eat, sleep, and die.", "characters": [ "Andy", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "android", "behaviour", "eat", "sleep", "die", "religion" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-05", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Andy wonders why religion has not worked after one day.", "characters": [ "Andy", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "android", "behaviour", "religion", "fulfilment", "practise", "soul", "Sonny Bono", "Cher" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-06", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Andy asks Dilbert about the meaningless of human life.", "characters": [ "Andy", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "android", "copy", "absurd", "futile", "life" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-07", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "A guide for women to explain why men say dumb things and don't take no for an answer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "conversation", "pick up", "boyfriend", "goldfish", "no", "secret" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-08", "subject": "Personal", "saga": "Dilbert the super-hero.", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows Dogbert his new super-hero suit.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "super-hero", "power", "suit", "identity", "secret" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-09", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert heads to the nuclear power plant in hopes of a freak accident to bestow super powers.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "super-hero", "power", "accident", "nuclear power", "crowd" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-10", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert has been bitten by a radioactive bug and looks forward to super powers.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "super-hero", "radioactive", "insect", "bug", "dung beetle" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-11", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert waits for his super powers to kick in.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "super-hero", "radioactive", "bug", "dung beetle", "power", "politics" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-12", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dilbert has a headache and goes for a pill.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "headache", "pill", "drug", "seal", "medicine cabinet" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-13", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains the concept of time.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "physics", "time", "cannon", "doughnut", "lesson", "speed of light" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-14", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains how tax dollars are spent.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "tax", "budget", "invention", "space", "secret", "education", "X-ray", "microwave", "congress", "vacuum cleaner", "shoe", "stethoscope", "skeleton" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-15", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert calculates the cost of going to college.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "computer", "program", "child", "cost", "college", "orthodontist", "haircut", "Norway" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-16", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to start budgeting for a child.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "child", "college", "cost", "budget", "modern", "cave", "bison" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-17", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "A co-worker explains his wife sews his clothes.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "talent", "sew", "clothing", "hate", "wife" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-18", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't like sinks where you must hold the tap on.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "board member" ], "keywords": [ "restroom", "sink", "wash", "hand", "Acme Sink Inc", "motto", "bathroom" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-19", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert starts thinking strange thoughts when he's alone.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "alone", "think", "bug", "sweat", "levitate", "pen", "shave" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-20", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert has a first date, who avoids saying how little he attracts her.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "women", "dating", "restaurant" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-21", "subject": "Presentation", "synopsis": "Dilbert finishes his presentation to the executive committee but they weren't listening.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "committee member", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "proposal", "executive", "committee", "fuh", "impression" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-22", "subject": "Science", "saga": "Crop circles.", "synopsis": "A news reporter describe British crop circles.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "television", "news", "crop circle", "extraterrestrial", "hostage" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-23", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert thinks the crop circles are messages from aliens.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "crop circle", "extraterrestrial", "alien", "message", "wheat" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-24", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Experts investigate the crop circles.", "characters": [ "news reader" ], "keywords": [ "crop circle", "extraterrestrial", "alien", "wheat", "team", "expert", "television", "reporter", "microphone" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-25", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Aliens scare people away from their landing strips.", "characters": [ "alien" ], "keywords": [ "crop circle", "wheat", "landing strip", "UFO", "ray", "Stonehenge" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-26", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets attacked by a UFO.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "UFO", "alien", "crop circle", "wheat", "ray" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-27", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "Paper or plastic?", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "grocery", "paper bag", "plastic bag", "recycle", "planet" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-28", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dogbert meets a formerly rich man surrounded by maybe-men.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "yes men", "maybe", "economy", "cost-cutting", "squash" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-29", "subject": "Office Politics", "note": "Carol's first appearance.", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to schedule a meeting with his secretary.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "schedule", "challenge of death", "winged monkeys" ] }, { "date": "1991-04-30", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Carol challenges Dilbert to get him on the Boss's calendar.", "note": "The title strip from the book \"Bring Me the Head of Willy the Mailboy.\"", "characters": [ "Carol", "Dilbert", "Willy" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "schedule", "challenge of death", "trick", "head", "paper cutter" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-01", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells about his Boss's secretary and her request for the head of Willy the mailboy.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "calendar", "head", "Willy the Mailboy", "bowling", "bag", "ears" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-02", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert says he hates the stigma of being a rat.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "stigma", "rat", "kangaroo", "pouch", "hate" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss is replacing his department with machines.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "replace", "machine", "bird", "bob head", "water" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-04", "subject": "Sports", "synopsis": "Dilbert learns how to toss and serve at tennis.", "characters": [ "tennis instructor", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "tennis", "serve", "racket", "toss", "ball", "smash" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-05", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert takes a date to a restaurant he can't afford.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date", "waiter" ], "keywords": [ "menu", "restaurant", "chicken", "expensive", "oven mitt", "cheapskate" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-06", "subject": "Personal", "saga": "Why does Dilbert's tie curl?", "synopsis": "Dilbert ties his tie, but is not happy when it lies straight.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "tie lays flat" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-07", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert speculate why the tie curls up -- just aversion to him?", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "tie" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-08", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks Ratbert to help solve the mystery of Dilbert's tie.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "tie", "rat", "brain" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-09", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks Ratbert to eat Dilbert's tie to solve why the tie always curls up.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "tie", "curl", "eat", "starch", "mystery", "placebo" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-10", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks Garbageman why Dilbert's tie curls up -- it might be a snake.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Garbageman" ], "keywords": [ "tie" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-11", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Dogbert resigns himself to the fact he'll never figure out why Dilbert's tie curls up.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Garbageman" ], "keywords": [ "tie", "curl", "mystery", "wonder", "stimulation" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-12", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert is controlled by the television until Dogbert rescues him.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "television", "paralyse", "remote control", "channel", "rescue", "free", "pillow" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-13", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert decides to visit Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "visit", "miss", "test", "friend", "trip", "travel", "lab", "maze" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-14", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert says hello to Ratbert but doesn't want to hug him.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "visit", "body language", "hug", "lab", "Madonna", "perfume", "compulsion" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-15", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert has been testing Madonna's \"Compulsion\" perfume at the lab.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "Madonna", "test", "compulsion", "perfume", "side effect", "marry", "Bunsen burner", "lamp", "fetish" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-16", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Ratbert checks everything in the fridge to see if it's dangerous.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "test", "refrigerator", "food", "danger", "ketchup" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-17", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert fetches some sodas and Ratbert chews on some wires.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "soda", "gnaw", "high voltage", "wire", "thirst", "behaviour" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-18", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert returns to the lab.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "goodbye", "lab", "gift", "fanfare", "friend" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-19", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert introduces the new guy around the office, including Bud a crotchety employee.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "new employee", "Bud" ], "keywords": [ "introduction", "ivy league", "trainee" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-20", "subject": "Family", "saga": "Dogbert's pet turtle.", "synopsis": "Dogbert gets a pet turtle.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "turtle" ], "keywords": [ "pet", "trick", "roll over", "die" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-21", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert's pet turtle fills out an application form.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "turtle" ], "keywords": [ "pet", "application", "policy", "shell" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-22", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert meets Dogbert's pet turtle.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "turtle" ], "keywords": [ "pet", "meet", "ugly", "snappy comeback" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-23", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dogbert's pet turtle dies.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "pet", "death", "name" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-24", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert plays solitaire.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "cards", "solitaire", "random", "winner", "satisfy" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-25", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Dilbert can sew, much to Dogbert's surprise.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "sew", "learn", "sofa", "stuck" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-26", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert welcomes students to his school of hard knocks.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert's School of Hard Knocks", "graduate", "wisdom", "teach", "ruler" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-27", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants Dilbert's help to look for valuable stamps.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "stamp", "collect", "philately", "valuable" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-28", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert says he found a valuable stamp.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "stamp", "collect", "rare", "upside-down", "worth a shot" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-29", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert's car needs washing.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "car", "wash", "dirt", "gas mileage", "bird nest", "weed" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-30", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries the new Sony Sniffman, with smells of the stars.", "characters": [ "clerk", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Sony", "Sniffman", "smell", "star", "Donny Osmond", "gym bag", "classic", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1991-05-31", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets an optical disk player for his computer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "optical disk", "player", "computer", "William Shakespeare", "Greece", "history" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-01", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Another difference between men and women -- frolicking in the rain.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "difference", "rain", "frolic", "payoff", "rain coat", "slicker" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-02", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert fantasises about shortening a movie lineup.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "daydream", "television", "knock out", "karate", "movie", "ticket window" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-03", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Dogbert says he should be hired as a consultant because he has credibility for being an outsider.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "credibility", "smart", "speak slower" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-04", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Dogbert starts working for the Boss.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "fee", "problem area", "employee", "fault", "lard-head", "underpaid" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-05", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Dogbert the consultant says the outlook is poor. Profits are down and so is brainpower. The cover strip for \"It's Obvious You Won't Survive by Your Wits Alone.\"", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "presentation", "profit", "brain", "beaver", "competition", "training budget" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-06", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Dogbert has a plan for improving the Boss's image.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "unorthodox", "image", "shoot", "guess" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-07", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "A palm reader extends Dilbert's life line with a grease pencil.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "palm reader", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "palm reading", "life line", "intelligence", "grease pencil" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-08", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "An English teacher has the hiccups.", "characters": [ "English teacher", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "hiccup", "park", "bench", "park bench" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-09", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert writes an encyclopedia.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "write", "encyclopedia", "profit", "condense", "Canada", "tree", "abridge" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-10", "subject": "Health", "saga": "Random drug tests.", "synopsis": "The Boss announces random drug tests.", "characters": [ "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "drug", "test", "illegal", "search", "body", "home", "blood", "cafeteria" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert refuses drug testing.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "drug", "test", "refuse", "performance", "attendance", "judge" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Johnson says he doesn't mind the drug tests because he doesn't do drugs.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Johnson", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "drug", "test", "invasion of privacy", "blood", "Cheetos", "Diet Pepsi", "wife", "grass skirt" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-13", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders how to get out of the company's drug tests while being ethical.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "drug", "test", "policy", "ethics", "dilemma", "constitution", "right", "hack", "rationalise", "metaphor" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces the Employee Drug Testing program will be discontinued because his own tests kept turning up positive.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "drug", "test", "medical computer", "paranoia", "high" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-15", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert each talk about their own goals, but don't listen.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "conquest", "moustache" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-16", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert hugs the Boss.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "fish", "hug", "nineties", "eighties", "uptight" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-17", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Dilbert and co-workers workspace shrinks from cubicles to fractions of them.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "Velcro" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-18", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Dogbert figures out how many angels can dance on the head of a pin.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "angel", "head of a pin", "puzzle", "ancient" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-19", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert starts a tabloid devoted to himself.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "newspaper", "editor", "lawsuit", "lie", "ego", "tabloid" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-20", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "For his tabloid, Dogbert get his ideas from his surroundings.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "newspaper", "editor", "lie", "idea", "necktie", "choke", "die" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-21", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss announces it will be a dull, pointless year; Wilson reacts badly.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wilson" ], "keywords": [ "morale", "corporation" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-22", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert enjoys the sensation from a Q-Tip in his ear.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Q-Tip", "feeling", "ear", "sin", "box" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-23", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert can't open a jar of spaghetti sauce. Dogbert and Bob help.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "cook", "kitchen", "spaghetti", "Family Circus", "smash" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-24", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Lunch with a senior executive.", "synopsis": "Dilbert has lunch with a senior executive.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "senior executive" ], "keywords": [ "lunch", "random", "regular", "squash", "bug", "ego" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "A senior executive says he's just a regular guy, with more money and a larger office.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "senior executive" ], "keywords": [ "lunch", "normal", "money", "office", "smart", "ego" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert offers his opinion at a lunch with a senior executive.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "senior executive" ], "keywords": [ "lunch", "question", "leadership", "initiative", "risk", "food fight" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert describes his lunch with the senior executive -- a food fight.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "lunch", "food fight", "potatoes au gratin", "corn", "witch" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-28", "subject": "Pun", "saga": "Dilbert kills a senior vice-president with an ear of corn.", "synopsis": "Dilbert is arrested for killing a senior executive with an ear of corn.", "characters": [ "police officer", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "lunch", "arrest", "murder", "corn", "self-defence", "reflex" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-29", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert is in prison for killing with an ear of corn.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "prisoner" ], "keywords": [ "arrest", "prison", "murder", "corn", "tattoo", "convict" ] }, { "date": "1991-06-30", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Dogbert the consultant clarifies the company's policy on discrimination and describes who can still be discriminated against.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "policy", "discrimination", "religion", "cult", "handicap", "nerd", "smoking" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-01", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dogbert defends Dilbert in court, saying the victim choked on a waffle.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "judge" ], "keywords": [ "court", "trial", "X-ray", "executive", "murder", "choke", "waffle" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-02", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to plea bargain with the district attorney.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "court", "trial", "murder", "plea bargain", "Sony", "Walkman", "death penalty" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-03", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dogbert calls the Garbageman as a witness in Dilbert's murder trial.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Garbageman" ], "keywords": [ "court", "trial", "witness", "Iowa Corn Treaty of 1837", "poodle", "Fifi", "witch" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-04", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dilbert celebrates his \"not guilty\" decision.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "court", "trial", "not guilty", "freedom", "prison", "celebrate", "victory", "cubicle" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-05", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "An unemployed cook says it's his brother's fault he can't find a job.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "cook" ], "keywords": [ "brother", "unemployment", "jail", "dishonesty", "judge a book by its cover", "park bench", "bench" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-06", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "TV convinces Dogbert he should already be proclaimed ruler of the Earth.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "conquest", "television", "food", "pillow" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-07", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Are people good or evil? Dogbert responds.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "good", "evil", "dog", "cat", "stupid", "logic", "theory", "predict" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-08", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dogbert demonstrates Dog Aerobics.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "fitness", "aerobics", "dog aerobics", "nap", "pillow" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-09", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert learns from Wally the Internet may not be so valuable after all.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "computer", "Internet" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-10", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "One-pun strip at \"Fred's Driving School, learn to drive in 5 minutes\".", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "driving instructor" ], "keywords": [ "driving", "crash", "cash register" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-11", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "What if a giant bee fought a giant moth?", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "bee", "moth", "fight", "wool", "jumpsuit", "hypothetical" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-12", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells a psychologist about his need to stock his pocket with pens and pencils.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "psychologist" ], "keywords": [ "write", "tool", "pen", "pencil", "colour", "primary", "secondary" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-13", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets mudflaps with silhouettes of naked women.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "mud flap", "silhouette", "naked", "woman", "sexist", "Neanderthal", "second thoughts" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-14", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert dreams of grandiose things.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "daydream", "reality", "twitch", "feet", "kiss", "tease", "tax", "mud", "bishop hat", "sceptre" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-15", "subject": "Family", "saga": "Ratbert disguised as a chihuahua.", "synopsis": "Ratbert decides to disguise himself as a chihuahua.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "disguise", "chihuahua", "prejudice", "Oscar", "brother", "pillow" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-16", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert shows off his chihuahua disguise.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "disguise", "chihuahua", "turtleneck", "sweater", "blank expression", "nervous" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-17", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells Ratbert he must learn to think like a chihuahua.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "chihuahua", "yip", "disguise", "one hand clapping", "brain", "sprain" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-18", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Day one of Ratbert impersonating a chihuahua.", "characters": [ "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "disguise", "chihuahua", "prejudice", "movie", "lifestyle", "violence", "brutality", "newspaper" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-19", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert, disguised as a chihuahua, meets a kid.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "kid" ], "keywords": [ "disguise", "chihuahua", "turtleneck", "sweater", "pretend", "attention span" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-20", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert is tired and sore from impersonating a chihuahua.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "disguise", "chihuahua", "prejudice", "bigot", "sidewalk", "lesson", "evil" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-21", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "A police officer stops Dilbert for an illegal U-turn.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "police officer" ], "keywords": [ "car", "drive", "U-turn", "illegal", "ticket", "tax", "salary", "sobriety" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-22", "subject": "Personal", "saga": "Dilbert in a stand-up comedy competition.", "synopsis": "Dilbert decides to enter a stand-up comedy competition.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "competition", "stand-up comedy", "freestyle", "Dan Quayle", "flatulence", "mattress", "warning label" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-23", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks Dilbert why he thinks he can win the stand-up comedy competition.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "competition", "stand-up comedy", "joke", "women", "bathroom", "staple", "chicken" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-24", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "A competitor helps Dilbert to relax before a stand-up comedy competition.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "competitor" ], "keywords": [ "nervous", "backstage", "competition", "stand-up comedy", "relax", "Mary Kay sales rep", "camcorder" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-25", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert didn't finish his first joke in the stand-up comedy competition.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "competition", "stand-up comedy", "joke", "slap", "drag", "senior citizen", "trophy" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-26", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Bob has a petition, but without any complaints.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "petition", "complaint", "democracy", "sign", "d-uuh" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-27", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert forgets his keys and has to turn around -- without looking silly.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "forget", "keys", "look silly", "slap forehead" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-28", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert sets up an agency to help people make friends.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "lonely man", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert's Find-a-Friend Service", "sarcasm", "tool", "trap", "sea monkey" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-29", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert the pop psychologist.", "synopsis": "Dogbert becomes a pop psychologist.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "pop", "psychologist", "lecture", "blame", "problem", "invisible" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-30", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to make a lecture video for his pop psychology.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "image consultant" ], "keywords": [ "pop", "psychologist", "lecture", "video", "Madonna", "look", "ponytail", "cone" ] }, { "date": "1991-07-31", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert the pop psychologist gives a lecture on guilt.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "pop", "psychologist", "lecture", "auditorium", "guilt", "microphone" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-01", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert can free people from guilt.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "pop", "psychologist", "lecture", "guilt", "copyright", "stupid", "microphone" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-02", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert's method to free people from guilt is to have them find some invisible people.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "pop", "psychologist", "lecture", "guilt", "invisible", "kill", "microphone" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-03", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert feels like everyone is judging him.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "judge", "accept", "score", "emotion", "paranoid" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-04", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to talk to a woman in a social setting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "pick up", "decoy", "cat", "babble", "ugly", "defence" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-05", "subject": "Benefits", "note": "Alice's first appearance.", "synopsis": "A co-worker will have her baby by the Xerox machine because there is no leave.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "leave", "maternity", "birth" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss offers Alice some time off for her baby, even though there's no maternity leave.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "birth", "baby", "Xerox", "maternity leave", "fertile", "treatment" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-07", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Alice named her baby after the Boss.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "baby", "name", "Butt Head", "milk", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-08", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to invent a perpetual motion device.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "perpetual motion", "device", "impossible", "time", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-09", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "Everybody has to top the last guy's disease story.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker", "headless man" ], "keywords": [ "engineer", "brag", "internal organ", "bubonic plague", "lawn mower", "temperature", "repair", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-10", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders why Dogbert is staring at him.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "stare", "plot", "instinct", "look up people's noses", "binoculars" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-11", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert stops to help a driver in distress.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "lady driver" ], "keywords": [ "car", "drive", "break down", "engine", "hood", "mechanic", "fraud", "gas", "explosion" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-12", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert, used car salesman.", "synopsis": "Dogbert gets a job as a used-car salesman, but not for the money.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "used-car sales representative", "lie", "gas mileage", "diamond smuggler" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-13", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert haggles over the prices of cars.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "used-car sales representative", "negotiate", "purchase", "buy" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-14", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "A kid wants to buy a car with the money he saved from mowing lawns.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Timmy" ], "keywords": [ "used-car sales representative", "mow", "lawn", "select", "med school", "cash" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-15", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert couldn't convince the sales manager to accept a customer's price.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "used-car sales representative", "negotiate", "price", "steal", "purse", "run over", "first-born" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-16", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "A man doesn't want to spend much money on a car.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "used-car sales representative", "model", "lawn", "disassemble", "I gotta be me" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-17", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert quits as a used-car salesman.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "used-car sales representative", "retire", "lie", "Reader's Digest", "crime" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-18", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert has trouble connecting his new VCR.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "VCR", "cable", "instruction manual", "television", "ohm", "electrical engineer", "lie", "motor oil" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-19", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert makes bankers do tricks to talk him into investing money.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "bank employee" ], "keywords": [ "money", "bank" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-20", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert loves being rich, and pays a stranger to wallow in a mud puddle.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "rich", "slave", "puddle", "wallow", "bore" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-21", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert hires Bob as a flunky.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "rich", "hire", "flunky", "ethics", "tongue", "window" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-22", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert loses his fortune.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "rich", "broke", "fortune", "Ethel's Savings and Loan", "junk bond", "chequing account", "tears" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-23", "subject": "Politics", "saga": "Dogbert owns a senator.", "synopsis": "The government tries to repay some money Dogbert lost.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "government man" ], "keywords": [ "depositor", "insurance", "government", "senator" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-24", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "Dogbert describes his plans for the senator.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "senator", "value", "political action committee", "Senate", "whiskey" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-25", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "A clerk in a video store ridicules people's video purchases.", "characters": [ "rental clerk", "man", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "video", "movie", "rental", "mystery", "Tootsie", "Rambo", "lie", "documentary" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-26", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "The tobacco lobby wants to buy Dogbert's senator.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "tobacco lobbyist" ], "keywords": [ "senator", "tobacco", "lobby", "sex appeal", "media", "sale", "smoking" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-27", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert worries he hasn't said anything all meeting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "quiet space", "insight", "unproductive" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-28", "subject": "Meeting", "saga": "A short guy.", "synopsis": "A short guy in a meeting is abrasively assertive to compensate.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Les", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "shortness", "small", "coffee", "spill" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-29", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "A short guy doesn't want to be made fun of.", "characters": [ "Les", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "shortness", "pronounce", "mock", "temper" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-30", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "A woman evaluates Les, a short guy, as a potential date.", "characters": [ "Les", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "shortness", "bald", "earning", "resume", "formula", "calculator" ] }, { "date": "1991-08-31", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "A scientist test a computer air bag.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "scientist" ], "keywords": [ "concern", "safety hazard", "computer", "radiation", "airbag", "crash", "foomp", "clipboard" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-01", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Lisa, a former date, comes to Dilbert's neighbourhood to deliver a note.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Lisa" ], "keywords": [ "brick", "note", "awkward", "walk", "neighbourhood", "oxygen", "fungus", "Valentine" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-02", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "Floyd Remora, who attaches to the backs of successful co-workers.", "synopsis": "Dilbert is introduced to Floyd Remora, a new co-worker who attaches to the backs of other workers.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Floyd Remora" ], "keywords": [ "co-worker", "skill", "remora", "attaching to backs of co-worker", "suction" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-03", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally had his turn to work with Floyd Remora.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Floyd Remora" ], "keywords": [ "remora", "success", "contribution", "lance", "hickey", "back", "suction" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-04", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date objects to the little man on Dilbert's back.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date", "Floyd Remora" ], "keywords": [ "remora", "back", "critical", "success", "pressure", "die", "suction", "flowers" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-05", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dogbert meets a teenager worried about wood.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "worried teenager" ], "keywords": [ "worry", "wood", "war", "Norway", "fiord", "draft", "pimple", "zit" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-06", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to sculpt an elephant.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "sculpt", "elephant", "marble", "statue", "art" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-07", "subject": "Feminism", "synopsis": "The Boss combats feminism by awarding the title of \"Company Fellow\" to Betty.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Betty" ], "keywords": [ "myth", "sexist", "director", "fellow", "restroom", "washroom" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-08", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Dilbert arrives at the wrong meeting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "agenda", "escape", "dark", "awkward", "economy", "interest rate" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-09", "subject": "Society", "saga": "Fake news.", "synopsis": "Dogbert wonders whether the news is faked.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "news", "television", "Hollywood", "fake", "space shuttle", "string", "rerun" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-10", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert says news isn't faked.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "George Lucas" ], "keywords": [ "news", "television", "Hollywood", "special effect", "Dan Rather", "model", "space shuttle" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-11", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dogbert visits George Lucas's studio to see how news is made.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "George Lucas" ], "keywords": [ "news", "television", "studio", "Hollywood", "special effect", "Dan Quayle", "Muppet" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-12", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "George Lucas tells about his first film, the 1969 moon landing.", "characters": [ "George Lucas", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "news", "television", "moon landing", "Barbie", "aluminum foil", "script", "rocket", "astronaut" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-13", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert reads about primitive cultures in National Geographic magazine.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "National Geographic", "magazine", "primitive cultures", "New Yorker", "pygmy" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-14", "subject": "Benefits", "synopsis": "Dilbert's boss hands out paycheques, but gloats over Dilbert's position.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "paycheque", "happiness", "dance", "payday" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-15", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "A co-worker comes to Dilbert's house to watch \"America's Most Wanted.\"", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "John Smith" ], "keywords": [ "television", "America's Most Wanted", "wedgie", "cable", "victim" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-16", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dogbert decides to trip an ugly stranger to cheer himself up.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "bad mood", "ugly", "self-help", "book" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-17", "subject": "Presentation", "saga": "Dilbert gives a presentation on geometry.", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to put together a presentation.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "staff meeting", "topic", "geometry", "major", "rectangle" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-18", "subject": "Presentation", "synopsis": "Dilbert's topic for presentation is on rectangles.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "staff meeting", "geometry", "rectangle", "parallelogram", "controversy", "communication" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-19", "subject": "Presentation", "synopsis": "The topic of Dilbert's presentation is set according to the interest of his boss.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "rectangle", "geometry", "geography", "Wyoming" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-20", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert and Alice to learn lines for the company commercial.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "commercial", "script", "abuse", "serve", "love puppet" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-21", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "A body builder says it's not easy to explain what he does.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "weight lifter" ], "keywords": [ "body builder", "party", "pay", "park", "park bench", "bench" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-22", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dogbert meets a fish with legs.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "fish" ], "keywords": [ "nature", "evolution", "leg", "Rodney Dangerfield", "mate", "mutant" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-23", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert practises preaching from a cliff.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "supreme ruler of Earth", "preach", "worship", "practise", "eye", "zombie" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-24", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert and Ratbert both try visualising their goals.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "conquest", "visualisation", "cheese" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-25", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally wants to borrow a pen from Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "pen", "borrow", "personal relationship", "farewell" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-26", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "A co-worker notifies Dilbert he will sleep through Dilbert's presentation.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "presentation", "sleep", "pillow", "blanket", "manners" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-27", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The technical people have fun over a misunderstanding over megabits and gigabits.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "gigabit", "megabit", "humour", "joke", "meeting", "fun loving", "friend", "laughter" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-28", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dilbert becomes one with his computer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "technology", "merge", "become one", "ecstasy", "logic", "emotion", "nerdvana" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-29", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Brad always insults his co-workers, but it's just for fun.", "characters": [ "Brad", "Bruce", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "ugly", "convention", "cow pie", "cruel", "male bonding", "poker" ] }, { "date": "1991-09-30", "subject": "Science", "saga": "Dogbert conquers Elbonia in a flying saucer.", "synopsis": "Dilbert finishes his flying saucer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "saucer", "weapon", "hover", "invention", "wrong hands", "weapon", "screwdriver", "UFO" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-01", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Fate comes knocking at Dogbert's door.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Fate" ], "keywords": [ "hover", "saucer", "Elbonia", "conquer", "merger", "opportunity", "pillow" ] }, { "comment": "fix synopsis", "date": "1991-10-02", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert rationalises about taking Dilbert flying saucer.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "hover", "saucer", "Elbonia", "conquer", "power", "ambition", "metaphor", "weapon", "UFO" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-03", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert is on his way to conquer Elbonia in a flying saucer.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "hover", "saucer", "Elbonia", "King Dogbert of Elbonia", "smart missile", "PBS", "weapon", "UFO" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-04", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert arrives in Elbonia.", "characters": [ "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "hover", "saucer", "Elbonia", "holy scrolls", "shave", "duck", "weapon", "UFO", "crash" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-05", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert, King of Elbonia.", "synopsis": "Elbonians think Dogbert's arriving is a sign from God.", "characters": [ "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "hospital", "Elbonia", "bed", "king", "communism", "religion", "Doug" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-06", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "Dogbert buys a nuclear bomb.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "government man" ], "keywords": [ "nuclear device", "national debt", "liberal", "hissy fit", "back alley", "trench coat", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-07", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert becomes King of Elbonia.", "characters": [ "news reader", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "news", "king", "television", "monarchy", "descendant", "Doug", "bishop hat", "sceptre" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-08", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert buys a ticket to Elbonia.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "slingshot", "ticket", "first class", "coach", "travel agent" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-09", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to stop Dogbert from being King of Elbonia.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "slingshot", "king", "Doug", "skeet", "airport", "bishop hat" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-10", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert arrives in Elbonia. Dogbert skeet-shoots Dilbert's suitcase.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "slingshot", "king", "skeet", "luggage", "suitcase", "balance of nature", "bishop hat" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-11", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dilbert goes to Dogbert's castle.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "king", "resign", "lurk", "punishment", "blind date", "bishop hat", "front door", "door knocker" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-12", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Dogbert to step down as king of Elbonia.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "king", "paper-rock-scissors", "Olympics", "mitten", "bishop hat" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-13", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders why kids don't know anything and interviews a kid.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "kid" ], "keywords": [ "trivia", "knowledge", "president", "United States", "MC Hammer", "lake", "sarcasm", "school", "stupid", "microphone" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-14", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to convince Dogbert to leave Elbonia.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "king", "democracy", "national bird", "condor", "Frisbee", "bishop hat", "throne" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-15", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "Elbonians demand free speech from King Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "democracy", "Elbonia", "free speech", "hat", "idea", "pressure", "market", "society", "bishop hat" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-16", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "The Elbonians present their bill of rights.", "characters": [ "Elbonian", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "democracy", "Elbonia", "bill of rights", "potato", "armpit noise", "first draft", "bishop hat", "throne" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-17", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "The Elbonian democratic movement has a leader.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "democracy", "Elbonia", "leader", "charisma", "give me liberty", "are we mice", "bishop hat" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-18", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "The Elbonians come to the gates with pickaxes and rakes.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "mob", "pickaxe", "gate", "emergency", "slingshot", "garden festival", "bishop hat", "throne", "pick", "shovel" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-19", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for help with a crossword puzzle.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "crossword puzzle", "idiot", "newspaper" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-20", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert collects butterflies.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Mother Nature" ], "keywords": [ "butterfly", "chemical", "glass", "art", "wing", "park" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-21", "subject": "Benefits", "note": "Wally's first appearance.", "synopsis": "Wally tries to get fired because the layoff plan is generous.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "layoff", "polka-dot underwear" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-22", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally still hasn't been able to get fired.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "fire", "luck", "severance package", "Krazy Glue", "farm animal", "staff meeting", "pig", "duck", "cow" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-23", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert looks through his high school yearbook.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "high school", "yearbook", "most likely to", "potato" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-24", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert reminisces about dopey Bobby Noober from high school.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "high school", "yearbook", "frog", "flagpole", "principal" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss hires Tom Peters as a business consultant.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Tom Peters", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "customer", "focus", "business consultant", "criticism", "spit" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-26", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains he has no luck.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "luck", "if life gives you lemons", "lemonade", "allergy", "citrus" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-27", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dogbert investigates a possible poltergeist.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Kay and Clem Bovinski" ], "keywords": [ "investigative reporter", "poltergeist", "disturbance", "farm" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-28", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert pays ten dollars to pet Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "negotiate", "offer", "pet", "industry standard" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-29", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert charges five dollars for people to pet him.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "pet", "rabies", "wag", "sale", "sidewalk" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-30", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells a psychologist about having to pay to pet his dog.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "psychologist" ], "keywords": [ "couch", "touch", "dating", "pet", "hug" ] }, { "date": "1991-10-31", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Ted avoids assignments by taking vacation during work time.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "explanation", "vacation", "avoid work", "sick time" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-01", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Dilbert ponders his contribution to society.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "meaning of life", "computer", "light", "electricity" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-02", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Bob has trouble drinking his milkshake.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "milkshake", "straw", "spoon" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-03", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "A co-worker explains his project is a whole new paradigm.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "paradigm", "funny", "explanation" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-04", "subject": "Leadership", "saga": "Dilbert, CEO.", "synopsis": "Dilbert removes a pencil from a sharpener, thus fulfilling a legend.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "pencil", "sharpener", "legend", "Excalibert", "CEO", "King Arthur", "pencil sharpener" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-05", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dilbert becomes CEO.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "pencil", "Excalibert", "CEO", "grovel", "decision", "King Arthur", "pencil sharpener" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-06", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't know what a CEO does.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "duty", "profit", "luck", "make it so" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-07", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dilbert walks among his employees.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "deference", "hand gesture", "window" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-08", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Japanese make an offer to buy the company.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "buy out", "lay off", "Japan", "neener neener" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-09", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dilbert rejects the company buy out offer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "buy out", "hostile takeover", "lawyer", "chew" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-10", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dogbert talks to a cookbook author, a former child television star.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bobby McNewton" ], "keywords": [ "book", "author", "child star", "Leave it to Beaver", "walnut", "cookbook", "ghost writer" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-11", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dilbert resigns as CEO.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "stress", "stop and smell the roses", "resign" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-12", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for Dogbert's help to meet attractive women.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "walk", "pet-able", "women", "mad dog", "John Sununu" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-13", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dogbert helps to solve Dilbert's dating problem.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "logic", "problem", "quality", "girlfriend", "ballerina", "cramp", "list" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-14", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert stops drinking coffee.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "coffee", "dependent", "chemical", "slow", "work", "Monday" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-15", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "The psychologist says her mother is Dilbert's problem.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "psychologist", "psychologist's mother" ], "keywords": [ "problem", "evil", "couch" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-16", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dilbert joins a bowling league.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "exercise", "bowling", "league", "lower middle-class", "muscle", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-17", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date is late by an hour, but she doesn't care.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "late", "shampoo", "crossword puzzle", "ugly", "flower", "restaurant" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-18", "subject": "Downsizing", "saga": "More downsizing.", "synopsis": "There will be ten percent job cuts, the Boss says.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "expense", "layoff", "risk", "cut" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-19", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The Boss tosses a dart at an org chart to decide layoffs.", "characters": [ "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "layoff", "organisation chart", "dart", "blindfold", "slay" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-20", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Bruce can keep his job if others take pay cuts.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Bruce" ], "keywords": [ "layoff", "pay cut", "furniture" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-21", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says profits are low, so Dilbert must go.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "profit", "let go", "training", "jumpy", "nervous" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-22", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert is in reality a millionaire movie star, says a janitor.", "characters": [ "janitor", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "dream", "work late", "engineer", "playboy", "movie star", "dress", "push broom" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-23", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets his portrait drawn.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "street artist" ], "keywords": [ "artist", "portrait", "sexy", "smart" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-24", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert finds a wallet and returns it to the owner.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Sam Grooper" ], "keywords": [ "wallet", "lost", "criminal", "reward", "steal", "money", "ruthless", "gun", "pistol" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-25", "subject": "Law", "saga": "Dogbert is appointed to the Supreme Court.", "synopsis": "There's a vacancy on the Supreme Court.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "George Bush" ], "keywords": [ "president", "Supreme Court", "nomination", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-26", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "The senate questions Dogbert, Supreme Court nominee.", "characters": [ "senator", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Senate", "Judiciary Committee", "Supreme Court", "hearing", "Roe versus Wade", "accuse", "lie", "microphone" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-27", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "The senate asks Dogbert about his opinion on the right to privacy.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "senator" ], "keywords": [ "Senate", "Supreme Court", "hearing", "opinion", "privacy", "idiot", "microphone" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-28", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dilbert watches the confirmation hearing on television.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "senator" ], "keywords": [ "Senate", "hearing", "Supreme Court", "starve", "downside", "television" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-29", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Ratbert is questioned in Dogbert's Supreme Court hearing.", "characters": [ "senator", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "Senate", "hearing", "Supreme Court", "witness", "nomination", "hiney", "lie", "microphone" ] }, { "date": "1991-11-30", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "If confirmed, Dogbert must abandon his world domination goal.", "characters": [ "senator", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Senate", "hearing", "Supreme Court", "ethics", "unwritten rule", "withdraw", "world domination", "microphone" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-01", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The Boss wants a presentation on Dilbert's project, even though it was only assigned an hour ago.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "presentation", "status", "review", "analytical", "schedule", "math" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-02", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "Zimbu the monkey.", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Zimbu the monkey, Dilbert's new co-worker.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Zimbu" ], "keywords": [ "new employee", "English", "zoo", "insult", "intelligence" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-03", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert says Zimbu needs more than language skills to be an engineer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Zimbu", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "zoo", "language", "English", "cafeteria", "doughnut", "staff meeting" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-04", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Zimbu to give it all up and stop being an engineer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Zimbu" ], "keywords": [ "language", "program", "BASIC", "charade", "rote", "logic" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-05", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Wally and Dilbert torment Nervous Ted with rumours of layoffs.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Nervous Ted" ], "keywords": [ "layoff", "nervous" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-06", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Can Dilbert tell the difference between an electric razor and a toaster?", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "razor", "toaster", "shave", "joke" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-07", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert compares his date's lips to earthworms.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "romance", "eye", "mystery", "earthworm", "sidewalk", "rain", "kiss", "fight" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-08", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Bob rips pants off guys we hate for no reason at all.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "rip pants off", "hate", "bicycle", "dance", "wine", "polyester", "conversation", "flowered underwear" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-09", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert finds it awkward to meet people in the hallway.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "hallway", "eye contact", "dance", "smile", "awkward" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-10", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Nostradogbert.", "synopsis": "Dogbert becomes Nostradogbert.", "characters": [ "Nostradogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "prediction", "skeptic", "monkey", "swami hat" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-11", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert predicts unrest in the Middle East.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "prediction", "Middle East", "sarcasm", "sand", "turmoil", "swami hat" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-12", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dogbert predicts the end of the world.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "end of the world", "gross prophet margin", "vague", "swami hat" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-13", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A pregnant woman says she's just off her diet.", "characters": [ "woman", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "pregnant", "diet", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-14", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert disagree on the value of computer literacy.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "computer", "secretary", "knowledge", "power", "special", "name" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-15", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert dusts the house.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "dust", "grey fox", "cloud", "brownie", "recipe", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-16", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets PCS phones for him and Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "PCS", "telephone", "contact", "annoy", "progress", "pillow" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-17", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert vote at a family meeting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "minutes", "vote", "tie", "baby" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-18", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert hears a voice in his head.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "if you build it they will come", "voice" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-19", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert becomes a newspaper critic.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "newspaper", "critic", "sniff", "one star" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-20", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Nardo does not respect personal space.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Nardo" ], "keywords": [ "personal space", "pocket", "close" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-21", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert can't respect the rules of chess.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "chess", "queen", "Uzi", "Scrabble", "cheating", "poor loser" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-22", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Santa has an accident in his sled.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Santa" ], "keywords": [ "Christmas", "gift", "reindeer", "hat", "sequel", "duck", "holiday", "Christmas tree", "Christmas stocking", "Santa Clause" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-23", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss empowers all employees to make their own decisions.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "empower", "decision", "productive", "fired" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally opens a tourist attraction since he's been empowered.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "empower", "tourism", "attraction", "revenue", "decision", "cubicle", "Post-It note" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-25", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets an auto-petter for Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "invention", "auto-petter", "idea", "machine", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders what empowerment really means.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "empower", "approval", "budget", "risk", "blame" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-27", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date has an evaluation system.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "rate", "evaluate", "twitch", "nervous", "head", "restaurant" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-28", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dogbert has a shortcut to finding the meaning of life.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "life", "meaning" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-29", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "Dilbert briefs the staff on the company's new policy on protecting secret information.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "security", "secret", "meeting", "competition", "salary" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-30", "subject": "Family", "saga": "Elves want to conquer the world.", "synopsis": "Elves want to conquer the world using magic.", "characters": [ "elf", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "magic", "conquer", "pick a card", "pillow" ] }, { "date": "1991-12-31", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "The elves pull a rabbit out of a hat to impress Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Karl" ], "keywords": [ "magic", "bunny", "hat", "fear", "respect", "magic trick", "pillow" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-01", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "The elves decide to try verbal intimidation.", "characters": [ "Karl", "Dilbert", "elf" ], "keywords": [ "magic", "fear", "respect", "intimidation", "doughnut", "bozo" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-02", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert tries to infiltrate the elf gang.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert", "elf" ], "keywords": [ "gang", "infiltrate", "disguise", "handshake", "guess" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-03", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "The elves present their demands to Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "elf" ], "keywords": [ "gang", "demand", "funny", "swat", "slap", "flyswatter" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-04", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Which way does the water swirl on the equator?", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "equator", "water", "drain", "swirl", "clockwise", "coriolis" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-05", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert babysits, and fills the kid's brain with nonsense.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bret" ], "keywords": [ "babysit", "nonsense", "alien", "kindergarten", "brain" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-06", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert enjoys annoying Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "ping-pong", "gun" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-07", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dilbert's boss \"builds\" morale by slapping Dilbert with a flyswatter.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "morale", "flyswatter" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-08", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders why he should get out of bed.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "bed", "awake", "rise", "hungry", "bagel", "think", "breakfast" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-09", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert brings Dilbert an apple.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "favour", "apple", "like", "hate", "snack" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-10", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Dilbert can't find anybody brain-alive in a Friday afternoon meeting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "Friday", "productivity" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-11", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "A long distance company calls Dilbert to ask him to switch.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "telemarketer" ], "keywords": [ "solicit", "telephone", "long distance", "vague", "inconvenient", "telemarketing", "telco" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-12", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "Dogbert reviews what's allowed for free speech.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "free speech", "obscene", "lawyer", "sue", "disadvantage", "religion", "first amendment" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-13", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert's private prison.", "synopsis": "Dogbert opens a private prison.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "private", "prison", "jail", "celebrity" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-14", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "A prisoner arrives at Dogbert's jail.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "prisoner" ], "keywords": [ "private", "prison", "jail", "celebrity", "investment", "rich", "embezzle", "sentence", "tuxedo" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-15", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains Dogbert turned the house into a private prison.", "characters": [ "prisoner", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "private", "prison", "jail", "happy hour", "complain" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-16", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert tries to keep the prisoners happy.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "prisoner" ], "keywords": [ "private", "prison", "jail", "happy", "snore", "kill", "lawyer", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-17", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert announces executions to save money at the jail.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "private", "prison", "jail", "execution", "joke", "warden", "operating cost", "bathrobe", "bullhorn" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-18", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Prisoners plan to escape from Dogbert's jail.", "characters": [ "prisoner" ], "keywords": [ "private", "prison", "jail", "escape", "ladder", "dental floss", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-19", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Uncle Ned shows his hunting trophies to Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Uncle Ned" ], "keywords": [ "hunting", "trophy", "bear", "zoo", "dove", "neighbour", "postal employee", "roast" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-20", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert, insider stock trading.", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to start insider trading of stocks.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "insider trading", "tip", "stock", "board meeting", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-21", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert gets rich by doing some insider trading over his PC.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "stock", "insider trading", "slap", "newspaper" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-22", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Somebody turned in Dogbert for insider stock trading.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "insider trading", "stock", "tip", "authority" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-23", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks Ratbert why he tipped off the authorities on Dogbert's insider stock trading.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "tip off", "insider trading", "stock", "reward" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-24", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "A judge sentences Dogbert for his insider stock trading.", "characters": [ "judge", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "court", "trial", "insider trading", "stock", "guilty", "punish", "Kitty Kelly", "biography", "gavel" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-25", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dilbert has many scratches after his interview with Kitty Kelly.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "sentence", "Kitty Kelly", "love", "watch", "trust", "lipstick" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-26", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dogbert offers advice on getting a date: men die first so there are more older women than men.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "statistics", "serial killer", "old", "young" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-27", "subject": "Family", "saga": "Dilbert's goldfish.", "synopsis": "Dogbert reacts with jealousy to Dilbert's new goldfish.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "goldfish", "jealousy", "fish bowl" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-28", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't believe his goldfish flushed himself.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "goldfish", "jealousy", "suicide", "flush", "rival", "school", "fish bowl" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-29", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert takes a lie detector test about the goldfish suicide.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "goldfish", "Abe Lincoln", "suicide", "lie detector", "mistake", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-30", "subject": "Bureaucracy", "synopsis": "The new guy is amazingly productive, but it is not a compliment.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "new employee" ], "keywords": [ "productivity", "savant" ] }, { "date": "1992-01-31", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dogbert gets interviewed for square dance caller.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "square dancer" ], "keywords": [ "square-dance caller", "resume", "Pulitzer Prize", "Aberdeen Hall of Dung" ] }, { "date": "1992-02-01", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert has to fake his way through square dance calling.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "dancers" ], "keywords": [ "square dance" ] }, { "date": "1992-02-02", "subject": "Administration", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Carol for comments on his report. She doesn't like it.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Carol", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "secretary", "report", "dance on grave", "power", "tripe", "spit" ] }, { "date": "1992-02-03", "subject": "Professional", "saga": "Dilbert joins Mensa.", "synopsis": "The president of the local Mensa chapter asks Dilbert to join. Dilbert asks the famous question \"If we're so smart, why do we work here?\"", "characters": [ "Mensa president", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Mensa", "genius", "IQ", "intelligence", "practical application", "egghead" ] }, { "date": "1992-02-04", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows up for his first Mensa meeting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Mensa president" ], "keywords": [ "Mensa", "genius", "IQ", "intelligence", "meeting", "egghead" ] }, { "date": "1992-02-05", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert hopes his career will benefit from joining Mensa.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Garbageman" ], "keywords": [ "Mensa", "genius", "IQ", "intelligence", "career expo", "network", "career" ] }, { "date": "1992-02-06", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "The Mensa president explains what happens at the Mensa meeting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Mensa president" ], "keywords": [ "Mensa", "genius", "IQ", "intelligence", "meeting", "party game", "DNA", "egghead" ] }, { "date": "1992-02-07", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert realises buckyballs exist, but it does him ill.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "insight", "buckyballs", "flash", "pillow" ] }, { "date": "1992-02-08", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert states evolution must be true because that's what he was taught to believe.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "evolution", "scientific method", "time", "cause and effect", "cult" ] }, { "date": "1992-02-09", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert visits friends and sees a video of Timmy's birth.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "man", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "birth", "video", "VHS", "Caesarian section", "operation", "appendectomy" ] }, { "date": "1992-02-10", "subject": "Science", "saga": "Dilbert creates a robot.", "synopsis": "Dilbert gives up on his robot because it's impossible.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Garbageman", "Ruebert" ], "keywords": [ "robot", "invention", "ego", "neurospectrum field", "calibrate", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1992-02-11", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "The Robot's Code means the robot must serve and protect humans.", "characters": [ "Ruebert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "robot's code", "strength", "serve", "crush", "sign", "program" ] }, { "date": "1992-02-12", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "The robot makes clothes out of Dilbert's clothing.", "characters": [ "Ruebert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "robot", "clothes", "drapes", "underpants", "bad", "discipline" ] }, { "date": "1992-02-13", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks the Garbageman why the robot won't obey.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Garbageman", "Dilbert", "Ruebert" ], "keywords": [ "robot", "command", "taunt", "calibrate", "neuro-actuator", "obey" ] }, { "date": "1992-02-14", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert builds a guilt module for the robot.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ruebert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "emotion", "robot", "guilt", "ethics", "conscience", "shame", "control module", "spit" ] }, { "date": "1992-02-15", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Cows cause heart attacks, global warming and the California drought.", "characters": [ "Ruebert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "worry", "robot", "global warming", "California", "drought", "heart attack", "cow" ] }, { "date": "1992-02-16", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "A big-nosed woman says she will have an operation.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "big-nosed woman" ], "keywords": [ "nose job", "operation", "intern", "lips", "puff", "snort", "bandages" ] }, { "date": "1992-02-17", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dogbert gives the robot a name: Ruebert.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ruebert" ], "keywords": [ "name", "rue", "fault", "spell", "robot" ] }, { "date": "1992-02-18", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Ruebert creates a feminine robot for company.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ruebert", "feminine robot" ], "keywords": [ "robot", "invention", "National Organisation of Women", "feminine" ] }, { "date": "1992-02-19", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Ruebert thinks he will have marital bliss with the feminine robot.", "characters": [ "Ruebert", "feminine robot" ], "keywords": [ "robot", "mate", "marital bliss", "can opener", "hell", "Gomer" ] }, { "date": "1992-02-20", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "The feminine robot says women have been discriminated against for a million years, so she deserves compensation.", "characters": [ "Ruebert", "feminine robot" ], "keywords": [ "robot", "discrimination", "guilt", "injustice", "persuasion", "argument" ] }, { "date": "1992-02-21", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "A kid says he's in trouble.", "characters": [ "Brett", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "trouble", "parent", "humourous", "spree", "murder", "park bench", "bench" ] }, { "date": "1992-02-22", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Brett has a hydrogen bomb.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Brett" ], "keywords": [ "hydrogen bomb", "dangerous", "wagon", "kill", "suggestion", "gizmo" ] }, { "comment": "finance or financial", "date": "1992-02-23", "subject": "Finance", "synopsis": "The Bank of Ethel has changed into a secret Swiss bank. Dilbert tries to withdraw money.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ethel" ], "keywords": [ "Bank of Ethel", "Swiss Bank", "secret", "withdraw", "account" ] }, { "date": "1992-02-24", "subject": "Politics", "saga": "Dogbert runs for president.", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to run for president of the United States.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "president", "campaign", "United States", "Democrat", "communism" ] }, { "date": "1992-02-25", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "Dogbert says why he wants to run for president: power and wealth.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "president", "campaign", "ego", "power", "wealth", "ignorant masses", "government" ] }, { "date": "1992-02-26", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't like Dogbert's motives for wanting to be president.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "president", "campaign", "slave", "land owner", "founding fathers", "democracy", "ignorant masses", "king" ] }, { "date": "1992-02-27", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "Dogbert interviews Ratbert to be his running mate in the presidential campaign.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "election", "president", "campaign", "vice president", "inept", "simple-minded" ] }, { "date": "1992-02-28", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "The Garbageman becomes Dogbert's campaign strategist.", "characters": [ "Garbageman", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "election", "president", "campaign", "strategy", "park", "profit" ] }, { "date": "1992-02-29", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "The Garbageman explains the key to winning an election is voter turnout.", "characters": [ "Garbageman", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "election", "president", "campaign", "voter turnout", "advertisement", "voting booth" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-01", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dogbert shows seven advantages of being dumb.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bob", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "dumb", "ozone", "television", "Doogie Howser", "Africa", "France", "budget", "signature", "Elvis", "Dan Quayle" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-02", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "Ratbert says Dogbert's name recognition is low.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "poll", "election", "campaign", "president", "name recognition" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-03", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to host a television show about ignorant people.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "television", "shadow", "voice" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-04", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "On \"Dogbert's Amazingly Ignorant People\", people talk about economics.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "economics", "television", "money supply", "bank balance", "television camera", "microphone" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-05", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "On \"Dogbert's Amazingly Ignorant People\", people try to find Australia on the globe.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "woman", "man" ], "keywords": [ "geography", "television", "Australia", "Alps", "kangaroo", "London", "microphone" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-06", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "On \"Dogbert's Amazingly Ignorant People\", a kid guesses how many people died in World War II.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "kid" ], "keywords": [ "television", "history", "World War II", "rounding", "microphone" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-07", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert works at product testing cosmetics.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "doctor" ], "keywords": [ "cosmetics", "product testing", "wolf whistle", "makeup" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-08", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert joins a drum beating group.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "poet", "drum", "masculine", "Robert Bly", "warrior", "tea" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-09", "subject": "Law", "saga": "Dogbert sues Dilbert for petimony.", "synopsis": "Dogbert smells the neighbour's cat on Dilbert, and doesn't like it.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "smell", "cat", "petimony", "lie", "trial" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-10", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dogbert's lawyer comes to see Dilbert, for allegedly petting the neighbour's cat.", "characters": [ "lawyer", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "cat", "petimony", "Garfield", "lawsuit" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-11", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to handle the lawsuit without lawyers.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "lawyer" ], "keywords": [ "cat", "petimony", "ugly", "lawsuit" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-12", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "In the petimony trial, Ratbert is the first witness.", "characters": [ "lawyer", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "trial", "court", "witness", "lawsuit", "Cat Fancy magazine", "root beer", "cat", "petimony" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-13", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dilbert requests the petimony lawsuit be dropped.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "judge" ], "keywords": [ "trial", "court", "petimony", "habeas corpus", "lawsuit", "Latin", "dismiss" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-14", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dilbert calls Fuzzy the Cat as his witness in the petimony trial.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Fuzzy the Cat" ], "keywords": [ "trial", "court", "petimony", "lawsuit", "witness", "rub up", "bury", "sand" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-15", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert offers tax preparation services.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "tax preparation", "income tax", "math", "confusion" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-16", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "The judge decides in the petimony trial.", "characters": [ "judge" ], "keywords": [ "trial courtroom", "petimony", "lawsuit", "judgement", "argument", "gavel" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-17", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert practises false modesty.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "compliment", "modesty", "genius", "humility", "weasel" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-18", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "note": "Ratbert utters the famous phrase: Actually, I'm as dumb as toast.", "synopsis": "Dogbert uses false humility to weasel compliments out of people.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "humility", "compliment", "dumb as toast", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-19", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert makes insecure people insult themselves.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "humility", "compliment", "insecurity", "insult", "sexy" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-20", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss apologises for a silly and ridiculous assignment.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "assignment", "channel", "Bozo the Clown", "silly", "spirit" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-21", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert gives Dilbert some smart pills.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "smart pill", "gift", "Chinese herbs", "news", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-22", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "note": "The title strip from \"It's Obvious You Won't Survive on Your Wits Alone.\"", "synopsis": "Dogbert offers his services in industrial espionage.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "corporate espionage", "spy", "code name", "nuclear device", "newspaper", "gullible" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-23", "subject": "Science", "saga": "Hair growth formula.", "synopsis": "Dilbert invents a hair-growth formula.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "lab", "invention", "hair", "formula", "luck", "pillow" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-24", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert is covered in hair from his hair-growth formula.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "invention", "hair", "formula", "test", "scalp", "hindsight" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-25", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert consults a psychologist about being covered in hair.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "psychologist" ], "keywords": [ "urge", "sunglasses", "Porsche", "hair", "formula" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-26", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dilbert is depressed about being covered in hair.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "science", "hair", "formula", "fiasco", "Bigfoot", "gun" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-27", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dogbert gets rid of Dilbert's excess hair.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "hair", "formula", "Roseanne Arnold", "bikini", "fright" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-28", "subject": "Feminism", "synopsis": "Alice asks Willy the janitor to get rid of a mouse and they debate feminism.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Willy", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "mouse", "janitor", "women's movement" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-29", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A new father shows pictures of his baby.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "new father" ], "keywords": [ "baby", "picture", "pug dog", "model", "compliment" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-30", "subject": "Politics", "saga": "Dogbert, president's financial adviser.", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to go to Washington to become a financial adviser.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "finance", "adviser", "economics", "tax", "potato" ] }, { "date": "1992-03-31", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "Bob learns Dogbert wants to be the president's financial adviser.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "finance", "adviser", "tax", "president", "government" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-01", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks the President for a tax break for dogs.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "president" ], "keywords": [ "tax", "economy", "GNP", "supply side" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-02", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "Congress passed the tax rebate for dogs, Dilbert learns.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "news reader" ], "keywords": [ "tax", "congress", "rebate", "liberal", "ethics", "television", "news" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-03", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date gets bored by his story.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "bug", "compiler", "boring story", "pepper spray", "restaurant" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-04", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "First you feel fine, then you die. That's the Idaho flu.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "flu", "Idaho", "die", "psychosomatic" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-05", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert interviews a rap star for MTV.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Freshy Q" ], "keywords": [ "MTV", "rap", "reporter", "instinct", "dress", "choreographer" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-06", "subject": "Marketing", "saga": "Dilbert works in Marketing.", "synopsis": "The Boss assigns Dilbert to work in Marketing.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "rotational assignment", "two drink minimum", "assigned to Marketing", "toga", "laurel wreath" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-07", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Dilbert is amazed by what goes on in Marketing on Barbecue Tuesday.", "characters": [ "marketing guy", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "lost", "amazement", "party", "Barbecue Tuesday", "unicorn", "toga", "laurel wreath" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-08", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Tuesday is unicorn barbecue day in Marketing.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "marketing guy" ], "keywords": [ "unicorn", "horn", "rare", "toga", "laurel wreath" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-09", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "The marketing people show Dilbert the research well.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "marketing guy" ], "keywords": [ "idea", "well", "question", "answer", "research" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-10", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "A marketing guy explains the Marketing department is like the brains of a company, the Sales department is the body.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "marketing guy" ], "keywords": [ "anatomy", "brain", "sales", "body", "engineering", "snot", "toga", "laurel wreath" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-11", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Brent, a marketing guy in engineering, has trouble with technology.", "characters": [ "Brent", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "assignment", "SPARC", "MIP", "workstation", "microwave", "croissant" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-12", "subject": "Entertainment", "synopsis": "Dogbert shows what's behind movie advertisements.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "movie", "review", "advertisement", "Gene Siskel", "Roger Ebert", "Academy Award", "gaffer", "Sylvester Stallone" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-13", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert wants to sit on Dilbert's legs just like Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "lap sit", "friend", "vermin", "disease", "hug" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-14", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert begs to be Dilbert's friend.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "friend", "cuddle", "Frisbee", "ear", "scratch", "dating", "beg" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-15", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert builds Timmy the toilet paper man as his only friend.", "characters": [ "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "friend", "pity", "toilet paper", "pathetic", "respect", "pillow" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-16", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "A woman says it's time for her friend to visit.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "friend", "time of the month", "visit", "puffy", "cobra", "bandage" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-17", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dilbert must sit motionless as the Boss reads his report.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "humiliation" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-18", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert feels proud about hunting and killing a bug.", "characters": [ "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "hunter", "squash a bug", "sports", "hormones", "guilty" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-19", "subject": "Safety", "synopsis": "Dilbert buys a new car, loaded with safety features.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "airbag", "brakes", "seatbelt", "baby seat", "ram", "police", "car" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-20", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert has an evil laugh.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "prank", "laugh", "maniac" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-21", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert both have an evil laugh.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "laugh", "game", "prank", "visit" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-22", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert flies his remote control plane.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "remote control", "plane", "crash", "Frisbee" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-23", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "A guy complains Dilbert's plane crashed into his friend.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "remote control", "plane", "crash", "Frisbee" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-24", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date pretends to choke to death to get out of it early.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "choke", "trick", "restaurant" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-25", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert whines he is insecure about adding value to the world.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "music", "crisis", "value", "pillow" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-26", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert listens to sad stories.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "sad", "story", "monkey trainer", "embezzle", "kidnap" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-27", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert must renounce all physical pleasure to achieve cosmic joy.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "guru" ], "keywords": [ "pleasure", "joy", "shave", "bald", "stubble" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-28", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "A guru counsels Dilbert to give away all his possessions.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "guru" ], "keywords": [ "joy", "guru", "possession" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert hands a report to the Boss, who promptly shreds it.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "report", "shred", "porto-shredder", "tie", "proud" ] }, { "date": "1992-04-30", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert starts a line of greeting cards for funerals.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "greeting card", "death", "funeral", "sentimental" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-01", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert reads a verse from his greeting card for funerals.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "greeting card", "funeral", "death", "humourous", "roses are red", "stiff" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-02", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert thinks Dogbert is the only one who respects him.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "respect", "ambiguity" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-03", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "A waiter complains Dilbert didn't eat \"all he could eat.\"", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "waiter" ], "keywords": [ "restaurant", "all you can eat", "lawyer", "waste", "agreement" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-04", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Fresh office supplies arrive and Dilbert's co-worker begins to plunder them.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "office supplies" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-05", "subject": "Bureaucracy", "synopsis": "Dilbert meets the Lost Employee, hiding in the bureaucracy.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "lost employee" ], "keywords": [ "lost employee" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-06", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Big Ed backs up and crashes into Dilbert and Wally.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "big people", "backing up", "annoy", "debris", "crash", "spill" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-07", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert places blame for slow progress towards ruling the Earth.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "conquest", "blame", "pillow" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-08", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss spouts various \"Boss cliches\" to the assembled staff.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "cliche" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-09", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Ratbert wonders about his place in the world.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "world", "sensitive", "life", "irony", "ruin" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-10", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "How do you tell when spaghetti is cooked? Throw it against the wall.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "cook", "spaghetti", "stick", "test", "done", "The Hat", "chef's hat" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-11", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert's advertising agency.", "synopsis": "Dogbert decides to open an advertising agency, since people are stupid.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "ad agency", "intelligence", "insult", "advertising" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-12", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert presents an ad concept for Shmultz Beer.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "ad agency", "product", "beer", "hangover", "bikini" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-13", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Clients think Dogbert's advertising campaign needs needs some \"babes.\"", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "client" ], "keywords": [ "ad agency", "feminism", "scantily clad", "bikini", "lawyer", "advertising" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-14", "subject": "Feminism", "synopsis": "Larry King interviews Dogbert and a feminist about sexy beer ads.", "characters": [ "Larry King", "Dogbert", "feminist" ], "keywords": [ "ad agency", "Larry King Live", "beer", "commercial", "sex", "dumb", "microphone", "advertising" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-15", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "A man combs eyebrows over his bald head.", "characters": [ "bald man" ], "keywords": [ "bald", "comb over", "eyebrow", "ear hair", "technique" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-16", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "A bald man combs his ear hair over his head, thinking nobody notices.", "characters": [ "bald man" ], "keywords": [ "vanity", "bald", "hair", "clueless", "comb over", "confidence" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-17", "subject": "Sports", "synopsis": "Dogbert shops for the perfect tennis racket.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "tennis", "retail", "plastic", "titanium", "poor loser" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-18", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Lenin's body.", "synopsis": "Dogbert buys Lenin's body.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Russian", "Dilbert", "Lenin" ], "keywords": [ "body", "communism", "stiff" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-19", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert decides what to do with Lenin's body.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert", "Lenin" ], "keywords": [ "body", "museum", "coffee table" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-20", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't approve of having Lenin's body.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Lenin" ], "keywords": [ "body", "desk", "pencil holder", "approval" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-21", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dave cuts his own hair.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dave" ], "keywords": [ "hair", "money", "cut own hair", "learning curve", "divorce", "therapy" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-22", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss punishes Dave for cutting his own hair.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dave" ], "keywords": [ "hair", "fast-track", "fashion", "cut own hair" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-23", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert is bored by a woman's story and starts looking up her nose.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "boring story", "Europe", "brain", "nose", "cocktail party" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-24", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dogbert wonders why Mother Nature is so cruel.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Mother Nature" ], "keywords": [ "cruel", "beauty", "robin", "lard bag", "mean", "natural selection", "sing", "zap", "harmony", "perception", "kill", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-25", "subject": "Science", "saga": "Wilt Gandhi, genetic mutation.", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders about the ethics of his genetic experiments.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "genetics", "experiment", "ethics", "skunkopotamus" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-26", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dogbert creates a mutation in Dilbert's genetic lab.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Wilt Gandhi" ], "keywords": [ "genetics", "experiment", "Gandhi", "Wilt Chamberlain", "wisdom", "babe" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-27", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Wilt Gandhi picks up some women in a bar.", "characters": [ "Wilt Gandhi", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "genetics", "experiment", "pick up", "line" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-28", "subject": "Downsizing", "saga": "Dogbert helps the Boss with layoffs.", "synopsis": "The Boss wants outside help with layoffs.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "layoff", "consultant", "severance package", "pain", "suffering" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-29", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Dogbert outlines his plan for layoffs: catapult from the restroom stall.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "layoff", "can-o-matic", "pink slip", "catapult", "security camera" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-30", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The Boss tries to lay off people directly and professionally.", "characters": [ "Boss", "laid off woman" ], "keywords": [ "layoff", "direct", "professional", "rubber stamp", "Goodyear Blimp" ] }, { "date": "1992-05-31", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A co-worker doesn't want to be seen with Dilbert at lunch.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "lunch", "executive", "being seen", "management track" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-01", "subject": "Technology", "saga": "Dilbert gets a video phone.", "synopsis": "Dilbert is the first in the city to get a new video phone.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "video phone", "camera", "society", "compatible", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-02", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert says the video phone will help his dating by helping him weed out unattractive prospects.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "dating", "weed out", "camera", "video phone", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-03", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Nobody has called Dilbert on his video phone yet.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "video phone", "dweeb", "mirror", "early adopter" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-04", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert feeds a television signal through his video phone.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "video phone", "television", "celebrity", "Dolly Parton", "screwdriver" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-05", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Ratbert is being exposed to violent movies to see if he becomes more violent.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "violence", "lab rat", "inured to violence", "gnaw", "parent group", "movie" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-06", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "A woman complains she can't meet more men.", "characters": [ "woman", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "meet men", "get lost", "stunned bunny" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-07", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells how to act sensitive which is what women want.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "sensitive", "act", "phony", "empathy", "suggestion", "sports" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says change is necessary to keep up with the competition.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "change", "competition", "paper", "quality" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-09", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces a new slogan: We are Quality.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Brenda" ], "keywords": [ "inspiration", "slogan", "quality", "we are quality", "pay" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-10", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains Brenda has been brainwashed by the new company slogan.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "man", "Brenda" ], "keywords": [ "inspiration", "slogan", "yellow sticky note", "brainwash" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss celebrates he has changed the fabric of corporate culture.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "brainwash", "corporate culture", "quality" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-12", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "CNN reports about solar flares.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bernard Shaw", "Wolf Blitzer" ], "keywords": [ "news", "television", "reporter", "CNN", "solar flare", "sun" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-13", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "CNN says to start exercising.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "news reader" ], "keywords": [ "news", "television", "CNN", "exercise", "aerobics", "weather", "Ted Turner", "Jane Fonda" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-14", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert hears a confession at his confess-o-rama.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "sinner" ], "keywords": [ "confession", "chocolate", "cookie", "dunce hat", "Cathy comic strip", "dance", "naked", "sin" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-15", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert the evangelism.", "synopsis": "Dogbert changes his hairstyle for his new television show, \"Healing for Dollars.\"", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "man", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "hair", "Healing for Dollars", "trust", "television", "evangelism", "gullible" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-16", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert uses his healing powers to prevent people from getting pimples on their tongues.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "moron" ], "keywords": [ "Healing for Dollars", "television", "evangelism", "pimple", "tongue", "gullible", "microphone" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-17", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "An investigative reporter visits Dogbert about his \"Healing for Dollars\" show.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "reporter" ], "keywords": [ "Healing for Dollars", "television", "evangelism", "investigative reporter", "money", "microphone" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-18", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "The Boss announces everyone must wear ID badges; yet another way to dehumanise.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "ID", "cafeteria", "alfalfa", "criminal" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-19", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Ted avoids any work in meetings with body language.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "question", "body language" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-20", "subject": "Finance", "synopsis": "Dilbert applies for a credit card at the Bank of Ethel.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ethel" ], "keywords": [ "credit card", "Bank of Ethel", "credit check", "annual fees", "interest", "body cavity", "commercial", "polka-dot underwear" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-21", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert decides to create art masterpieces.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "art", "masterpiece", "charcoal", "abstract", "cynical", "moron" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-22", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert describes his accomplishments to the Boss in preparation for his performance appraisal.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "performance review", "accomplishment", "invention", "license fees" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-23", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert's School of Common Sense.", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to open a school for people with no common sense.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert's School of Common Sense", "school", "pay" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-24", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert welcomes students to his school of common sense.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert's School of Common Sense", "school", "pay", "tip", "negotiate" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-25", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert teaches a student how to get water out of a boot.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert's School of Common Sense", "school", "water", "boot", "heel", "hair" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-26", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert shows a student how to hand scissors to another person.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Todd" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert's School of Common Sense", "school", "run", "scissors", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-27", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "At his school of common sense, Dogbert tells the story of Clayton, who smoked a cigar while fixing a gasoline engine.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Clayton" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert's School of Common Sense", "school", "auto mechanic", "cigar", "gasoline", "lightning", "explosion", "bandage" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-28", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dilbert decides to start jogging but has trouble tying his shoes.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "jog", "run", "shoe", "lace", "knot", "Boy Scout", "Olympics" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-29", "subject": "Travel", "saga": "Plane crash, cannibalism.", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert start their vacation with a flight.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "flight attendant" ], "keywords": [ "vacation", "plane", "mountain", "crash", "edible", "mistake", "snow" ] }, { "date": "1992-06-30", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert's plane crashes on a mountain.", "characters": [ "Captain Bob", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "plane", "crash", "cannibal", "mountain", "snow" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-01", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Captain Bob describes the best way to avoid frostbite -- meat tenderiser.", "characters": [ "Captain Bob", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "plane", "crash", "mountain", "cannibal", "meat tenderiser", "Worcestershire sauce", "frostbite", "snow" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-02", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "The crash survivors confront Captain Bob about his plans to eat them.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Captain Bob" ], "keywords": [ "plane", "crash", "mountain", "cannibal", "message", "village", "snow", "snowball" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-03", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert demands compensation for lost luggage from Lucky Airlines.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "airline", "lost luggage", "hot-wax", "plane", "crash", "mountain", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-04", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Everyone gets a turn at holding the new baby and Dilbert sneezes on him.", "characters": [ "co-worker", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "new baby", "sneeze", "prune", "proud momma" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to fill in a survey about employee's attitude toward bosses.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "survey", "attitude", "Eskimo", "anonymous", "ethnic", "objectives", "communication" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-06", "subject": "Investment", "saga": "Financial investor.", "synopsis": "A potential financial adviser introduces himself to Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "financial adviser" ], "keywords": [ "bond", "trust", "strategy" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-07", "subject": "Investment", "synopsis": "A financial adviser recommends a churn and burn strategy.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "financial adviser" ], "keywords": [ "mutual fund", "Churn 'n' Burn", "equity", "brokerage fee", "risk", "brochure" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-08", "subject": "Investment", "synopsis": "A financial adviser recommends strategies for Dilbert, the timid investor.", "characters": [ "financial adviser", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "investor", "Perpetual Certificates of Deposit", "interest", "withdraw", "Flying Debenture" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-09", "subject": "Investment", "synopsis": "Dilbert's financial adviser recommends a fund that has bags of money buried around town.", "characters": [ "financial adviser", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "investor", "Strategic Diversification Fund", "lawyer", "dog", "money bag" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-10", "subject": "Investment", "synopsis": "Dilbert describes the process of investing in stock options.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "stock options", "stock broker", "family", "snide comment" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-11", "subject": "Investment", "saga": "Dilbert gets rich on the stock market.", "synopsis": "Dilbert makes a killing on the stock market.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "stock options", "Zymed", "corporate takeover", "money can't buy happiness" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-12", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "Dogbert debunks the diamond marketing strategy.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "jewelry clerk" ], "keywords": [ "diamond", "jewelry", "pebble", "marketing", "supply", "secret", "jewellery store" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-13", "subject": "Investment", "synopsis": "Dilbert still goes to work even after he makes a fortune in the stock market.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "stock market", "regular guy", "gloat", "member of society" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-14", "subject": "Investment", "synopsis": "Dilbert fears for his safety because of his new wealth.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "stock market", "tragedy", "lightning", "meteor", "car", "scorch" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-15", "subject": "Investment", "synopsis": "Dilbert has nothing but bad luck since he made a fortune in the stock market.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "stock market", "luck", "tragedy", "friend", "bandage" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-16", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert thinks his date is only attracted to him for his money.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Mary" ], "keywords": [ "stock market", "glasses", "talking wallet", "attractive", "restaurant" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-17", "subject": "Investment", "saga": "Dilbert buys a supercomputer.", "synopsis": "Dilbert is miserable with his money.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Garbageman" ], "keywords": [ "stock market", "law of found money", "unhappy", "intuition", "computer", "supercomputer" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-18", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows off his new supercomputer he bought with his fortune.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "supercomputer", "pi", "circle", "area", "screwdriver" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-19", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert meets his fourth grade teacher, and takes revenge.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Miss Mulput" ], "keywords": [ "school", "fourth grade", "homely", "punish", "angry", "revenge", "hiney", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-20", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert creates a model to predict Dogbert's entire life.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "computer model", "prediction", "brain chemistry", "cause and effect", "free will" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-21", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert's computer predicts Dilbert's and Dogbert's life.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "computer model", "prediction", "script", "squirrel", "nut", "mine", "evil" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-22", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "A news reporter interviews Dilbert about his prediction of squirrels taking over the world.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "reporter" ], "keywords": [ "television", "news", "prediction", "interview", "squirrel", "evil", "nut", "mine", "math", "microphone" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-23", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Garbageman explains why Dilbert's model didn't work.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Garbageman" ], "keywords": [ "squirrel", "evil", "computer model", "prediction", "chaos theory", "guess", "spy" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-24", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Office workers are compared to prairie dogs.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "prairie dog" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-25", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Dogbert evaluates potential models.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "model", "evaluation", "hideous" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-26", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Some red-headed people protest a movie.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "red headed man" ], "keywords": [ "boycott", "red hair", "protest", "stereotype", "temper", "ignorance", "fight" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-27", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "note": "Title strip for \"Clues for the Clueless.\"", "saga": "Clues for the Clueless newsletter", "synopsis": "Dogbert starts a newsletter for clueless people via desktop publishing.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "newsletter", "clueless" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-28", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Bob reads Dogbert's \"Clues for the Clueless\" newsletter.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "newsletter", "clueless", "wrestling", "exercise" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-29", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dilbert talks while Dogbert writes his newsletter.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "newsletter", "clueless", "computer", "write", "conversation" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-30", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Ratbert only thinks he doesn't need Dogbert's newsletter for the clueless.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ 360, "clueless", "newsletter" ] }, { "date": "1992-07-31", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Dilbert overhears why some ladies all go together to the washroom.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice", "Mary" ], "keywords": [ "ladies room", "television", "Gone With the Wind", "soap" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-01", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders if he's happy, or under hypnosis.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "reality", "happiness", "hypnosis", "worry" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-02", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "The planet is borrowed from our children. Dilbert won't have any children, so that's OK.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "nature", "borrow", "planet", "environment", "children" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-03", "subject": "Overwork", "synopsis": "Tim tell Dilbert how, after four days without sleep, he had a vision.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Tim" ], "keywords": [ "Incan", "monkey-god", "sleep deprivation" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss confronts Tim for working himself into incomprehensibility.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Tim", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "overwork", "promotion", "sleep deprivation" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Tim gloats about his promotion and the fact he has a door.", "characters": [ "Tim", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "health", "personal life", "promotion", "office", "cubicle", "door" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-06", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "The face of Saint Ted appears in Dogbert's peanut butter.", "synopsis": "Dogbert learns the face of Saint Theresa appeared in a can of varnish.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "religion", "Saint Theresa", "varnish", "peanut butter", "television" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-07", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells Ratbert about the face of Saint Ted that appeared in his peanut butter.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "religion", "Saint Ted", "peanut butter", "Saint Theresa", "happy face" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-08", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert charges ten dollars to see the peanut butter.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "reporter" ], "keywords": [ "religion", "miracle", "Elvis", "Jello", "Saint Ted", "microphone", "refrigerator" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-09", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Dogbert improves morale by confronting employees with an absurd situation.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert", "employee" ], "keywords": [ "morale", "cognitive dissonance", "rationalise", "illusion" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-10", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert forecasts Dilbert's day in the office.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "co-worker", "battle", "memo", "photocopy", "meeting" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-11", "subject": "Dating", "saga": "Dilbert's date has puppetitis.", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date describes puppetitis, her rare disorder.", "characters": [ "Dilbert's date", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "puppetitis", "rare disorder", "hand puppet", "restaurant" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-12", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date tells Dilbert she contracted puppetitis.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "puppetitis", "disease", "nineties", "restaurant" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-13", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert caught puppetitis from holding hands with his date.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "puppetitis", "fiasco", "disease" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-14", "subject": "Productivity", "synopsis": "The Boss tries a cattle prod on Dilbert to improve productivity.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cattle-prod", "scorched" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-15", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert baits Dilbert by comparing his intelligence to the rest of the planet.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "intelligence", "creature", "mental torture", "hobby" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-16", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert practises a celebration dance in case anything good ever happens.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "celebration", "dance", "distinctive", "practise", "fall", "pillow" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-17", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Dilbert envies a security guard, because of the freedom for creativity.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "security guard" ], "keywords": [ "security guard", "magic realms", "creativity", "balsa wood" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-18", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert the marriage counsellor recommends plastic surgery and personality changes.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "husband", "wife" ], "keywords": [ "marriage counsellor", "plastic surgery", "personality" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-19", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert the marriage counsellor tries visualisation exercises with a couple.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "husband", "wife" ], "keywords": [ "marriage counsellor", "visualisation exercise", "sunset", "ocean", "cliff" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-20", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "A man tells Dogbert the marriage counsellor about their differences in squeezing a tube of toothpaste.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "husband", "wife" ], "keywords": [ "marriage counsellor", "toothpaste", "pig", "fight" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-21", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "A woman complains to Dogbert the marriage counsellor her husband has the personality of mildew.", "characters": [ "husband", "wife", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "marriage counsellor", "personality", "car", "mildew", "Lysol", "dizzy" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-22", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Dilbert goes to Bill's Big 'n' Egg-Shaped Men's Fashions to buy clothing that makes a statement.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "ovoid man", "sweater", "statement", "egg-shaped men's fashions" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-23", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert's co-worker sells cookies on behalf of his daughter.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "Camp Girl", "cookie", "character", "door to door", "foster care", "guilt" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-24", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert to write a white paper on magnets and sign language.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "magnet", "white-paper" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-25", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss asks everybody at the meeting to introduce themselves.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Albert", "Alice", "Sally" ], "keywords": [ "years-of-service" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-26", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "A meeting with no agenda except unrelated emotional statements.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "emotional-statements" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-27", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dilbert is introduced to Ben, fast-tracked due to height and hair.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Ben" ], "keywords": [ "tall", "hair", "fast-track" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-28", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert realises he gets paid whether he's working or not.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "paid for doing nothing", "evil corporate empire", "power" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss enjoys delegating an unimportant task.", "characters": [ "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "action item", "unimportant", "morale", "productivity", "subordinate" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-30", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert invent a new annual tradition.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "tradition", "nose sausage", "annual", "ridiculous", "robe", "squirrel", "dance" ] }, { "date": "1992-08-31", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "The Boss announces a \"rivers and trees\" management course.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "rivers and trees", "survival", "management course", "headcount", "team building" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-01", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "The team starts with a trust-building exercise -- eat doughnuts to save someone from a bear.", "characters": [ "instructor", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "rivers and trees", "survival", "trust", "doughnut", "bear", "committee", "rope" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-02", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "The next exercise on the management course is to build a commercial airport.", "characters": [ "instructor", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "rivers and trees", "survival", "creativity", "airport", "design", "construction" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-03", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "The team crosses a mud path using only a rope.", "characters": [ "instructor" ], "keywords": [ "rivers and trees", "survival", "mud", "rope" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-04", "subject": "Creativity", "synopsis": "Ratbert channels his pain and hostility into his art.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "art", "painting", "bowl of fruit", "hate", "hostility" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-05", "subject": "Creativity", "synopsis": "Dogbert criticises Ratbert's art.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "art", "painting", "stairmaster", "criticism", "talent" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-06", "subject": "Presentation", "synopsis": "Dilbert is willing to bet his career on the new technology.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "manager" ], "keywords": [ "bet your career", "preparedness", "recommend", "viewgraph", "low point" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-07", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert uses multimedia to spice up his budget spreadsheet.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "multimedia", "spreadsheet", "camcorder" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-08", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "The Engineers brag about having written programs with primitive tools.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "engineer", "brag", "icon", "windows", "zero", "one", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-09", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dogbert says anything can be advertised, and proves it.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "advertisement", "billboard", "date a Dilbert", "newspaper" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-10", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Manager has heard light is faster than sound and is confused.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "light", "sound", "ignorance" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-11", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert gives his potential date flowers, a deposit, a resume, and references.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "flower", "deposit", "resume", "diskette", "reference", "financial disclosure", "rejection" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-12", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert is impressed women write letters to guys in prison.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "prison", "personals-ad" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-13", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert convinces Ratbert to share his chips.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "chips", "brain", "thought", "conscious", "rationalise" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-14", "subject": "Vegetarian", "saga": "Cow and Egg lobby.", "synopsis": "The \"Cow and Egg\" lobby must counter the nutrition pyramid from vegetarians.", "characters": [ "lobbyist", "teacher" ], "keywords": [ "nutrition", "cow and egg lobby" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-15", "subject": "Vegetarian", "synopsis": "A vegetarian asks Dogbert to lead their movement.", "characters": [ "vegetarian", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "charisma", "leadership", "movement", "scrawny", "wimps", "health" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-16", "subject": "Vegetarian", "synopsis": "Dilbert questions Dogbert on why he took up vegetarianism.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "cult" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-17", "subject": "Vegetarian", "synopsis": "A lobbyist from the cow and egg lobby visits Dogbert. He wheezes after climbing three floors.", "characters": [ "lobbyist", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "cow and egg lobby", "heart attack", "wheeze", "stairs" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-18", "subject": "Vegetarian", "synopsis": "The cow and egg lobby will try to discredit the vegetarian movement.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "cow and egg lobby", "CNN", "movement", "health", "choke", "carrot" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-19", "subject": "Vegetarian", "synopsis": "Dogbert inspires a vegetarianism mob to demonstrate.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "mob" ], "keywords": [ "march", "demonstration", "leader", "revolt", "write letters" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-20", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert hires an Elbonian to act as a trained monkey for a week.", "characters": [ "Yergi", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "trained monkey", "wage", "boot", "economy" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-21", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert invents a way to send data without cables. The footnote says \"Really, no kidding.\"", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "communicator", "fibre optic", "John Stuart Bell", "theorem", "electron", "horse's head" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-22", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "The Garbageman analyses Dilbert's invention from the trash.", "characters": [ "Garbageman", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "molecule bifurcation communicator", "Einstein", "John Stuart Bell", "physics" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-23", "subject": "Creativity", "synopsis": "The assistant tells the Boss Dilbert has obsoleted their product line.", "characters": [ "Boss", "assistant" ], "keywords": [ "obsolete", "sucking-up" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-24", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert increases home security because of death threats.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "invention", "death threat", "patent", "home security", "mail", "screwdriver" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-25", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert offers to kill Dilbert for a million.", "characters": [ "mobster", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "invention", "kill", "hit man", "head on a platter", "Tupperware" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-26", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert has proof he completed his hit man contract on Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "mobster" ], "keywords": [ "kill", "contract", "hit man", "television", "proof", "photo" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-27", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dogbert provides research on potential romantic partners.", "characters": [ "woman", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "detective agency", "romance", "fantasy", "ego", "normal", "bad news" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-28", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert decides to become a demagogue.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "unmarried-men", "violent crime", "pet", "demagogue", "media" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-29", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert writes a short book on the problem of unmarried men.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "unmarried-men" ] }, { "date": "1992-09-30", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert promotes his unmarried men book on a talk show.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "hostess" ], "keywords": [ "unmarried-men", "talk-show", "microphone" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-01", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Ratbert attempts to follow in Dogbert's steps with a \"science\" book.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "unmarried-men", "mole", "footsteps", "demagogue", "scum", "hate", "book", "disguise", "science", "underground", "movement" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-02", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date says she has an obsessive personality.", "characters": [ "woman", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "obsessive", "love", "slave", "restaurant", "waiter" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-03", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dogbert thinks Dilbert has suppressed memories of alien abduction.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "dream", "alien", "abduction", "hypnosis", "risk", "suppress", "abduct", "memory", "scorn", "nosebleed", "ridicule" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-04", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Is it better to be smart or good looking? Dogbert has his own take.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "smart", "good looks", "talent", "witty", "annoy", "objective", "hypothetical", "Brain", "quality" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-05", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dogbert extracts Dilbert's memories of alien abduction.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "hypnosis", "alien", "abduction", "sleep", "ET", "bag", "luggage", "suitcase", "picture" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-06", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert recalls being abducted by aliens.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "hypnosis", "alien", "abduction", "ET", "theatre", "popcorn", "memory", "picture", "dark room", "seat", "disgust", "Ship", "suppress" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-07", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "A general from the department of government cover-ups threatens Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "general" ], "keywords": [ "alien", "abduction", "government", "cover up", "UFO", "poison", "mint", "medal", "uniform", "sunglasses", "general", "press", "newspaper", "slay", "kill", "murder", "assassinate", "tax dollar", "tax" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-08", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "The general wants to kill Dilbert for talking about his alien abduction.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "general" ], "keywords": [ "alien", "abduction", "government", "kill", "cutback", "track record", "general", "murder", "assassinate", "space", "medal", "uniform", "sunglasses", "scare", "budget", "cutback", "air support" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-09", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "The general explains why he wants to kill Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "general" ], "keywords": [ "alien", "abduction", "government", "tax", "cover up", "confidence", "general", "medal", "sunglasses", "uniform", "UFO", "faith", "kill", "murder", "assassinate", "citizen" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-10", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert speculates why aliens abduct people.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "alien" ], "keywords": [ "abduction", "medical research", "hide the pellet", "nose probe", "speculate", "body cavity", "cavity", "implant", "nose probe", "gadget", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-11", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert gives potential parents a test to weed out bozos.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "parent" ], "keywords": [ "parent license", "exam", "discipline", "tutor", "nickname", "body part", "brain", "garbanzo bean", "bozo" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-12", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders about the perfect woman for him.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Dilbert's perfect mate", "cat" ], "keywords": [ "mate", "perfect", "recognise", "law" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-13", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Everyone has a perfect romantic match, but that's not necessarily a good thing.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "woman", "cat" ], "keywords": [ "romantic match", "happiness" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to crush creative ideas.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "employee suggestion", "creativity", "idea", "crush", "sniff", "trap" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss explains the standard process for an employee suggestion: wearing a wet blanket and surrounded by imbeciles.", "characters": [ "Boss", "imbecile", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "employee suggestion", "process", "wet blanket", "imbecile" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-16", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date says he's not like most men she's dated.", "characters": [ "woman", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "handsome", "inconsiderate", "self-centred", "ugly", "considerate" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-17", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert recounts the time Dilbert told a joke and laughed so hard he hurt himself.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "laugh", "joke", "lurch", "spit", "coffee table", "inhale", "snort", "choke", "ignore", "bore" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-18", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The different gift contributions for a co-worker are outlined.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "collect", "money", "gift", "manhood", "romantic", "birthday", "romantic", "secretary", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-19", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert becomes a doctor.", "synopsis": "Dogbert decides to become a doctor because of the power they hold.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "doctor", "suck up", "career", "opportunity", "needle", "opportunity", "stapler" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-20", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dogbert examines a patient who reacts like a liberal.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "patient" ], "keywords": [ "examination", "knee-jerk liberal", "party", "Doctor Dogbert", "crime", "society", "nuclear research", "hammer" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-21", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dogbert diagnoses mild flu, but wants to let the patient die.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "patient" ], "keywords": [ "examination", "flu", "empathy", "Ambassador Class", "survive" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-22", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dogbert X-rays all the patients at once.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "patient" ], "keywords": [ "X-ray", "hypochondriac", "waiting room", "turbocharge", "waiting room", "diagnosis", "mail", "genius", "schedule" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-23", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "A customer for Dogbert's Dating Service clings to his fantasy.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "dating service", "sign up", "fantasy", "model", "brochure", "hope" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-24", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dogbert searches a \"date-a-base\" to find someone for Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "date-a-base", "Donahue", "primate", "looks", "database", "quote", "sincere", "search" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-25", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date wants to become \"just friends,\" and maybe less.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "break up", "let's be friends", "employee", "butler", "opportunity", "bargain", "acquaintance", "butler", "steal", "window of opportunity" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-26", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert, time management expert.", "synopsis": "Dogbert becomes a time management expert.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "time management", "consultant", "decision" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-27", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert rubs it in his lecture series audience tolerates his abuse.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "audience" ], "keywords": [ "lecture-circuit", "microphone", "stage", "cattle", "rub it in", "moo" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-28", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dilbert tracks the employee's body rhythms.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "employee" ], "keywords": [ "rhythm", "performance", "El Nino", "biorhythm", "natural", "peak", "trough", "temperature" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-29", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert predicts as part of natural body rhythm, the employees' mental states will all reach a low point at the same time.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "El Nino", "Circadian Trough", "body rhythms", "staff meeting", "mental activity", "biorhythm", "mental activity", "natural", "low point" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-30", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A man gets a load of page turning saliva on his page-turning hand to show Dilbert information in his binder.", "characters": [ "co-worker", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "binder", "saliva", "page-turning hand", "information", "stuck together" ] }, { "date": "1992-10-31", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dogbert outlines a possible scientific basis for astrology.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "astrology", "star", "brain development", "diet", "season", "watch", "personality", "rhythm", "ancient", "timing", "pattern" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-01", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dogbert demonstrates different emotions for the camera.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "camera", "mood", "screen test", "emotion", "sad", "angry", "surprise", "happy", "camcorder", "sorrow" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-02", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert's Driving School.", "synopsis": "An applicant to Dogbert's Driving School has flunked the driving test nine times.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "student" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert's Driving School", "driving test", "application", "form", "pencil", "signature" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-03", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "A student watches a film about accidents at Dogbert's Driving School.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "student" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert's Driving School", "film", "accident", "helicopter", "sensitive", "highway", "lunch", "sandwich" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-04", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "A student practises driving manoeuvres in Dogbert's Driving School.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "student", "sales rep" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert's Driving School", "road test", "CD", "cellular phone", "simulation", "stereo", "mobile phone", "car phone", "defrost", "window", "honk", "simulation", "test drive" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-05", "subject": "Creativity", "synopsis": "Dilbert worries his creative years are behind him. Wally is unhelpful.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "idea", "ageing", "creative", "ageing", "track record", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-06", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Dilbert thinks people put him down to make themselves feel good.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "denigrate", "compare", "problem", "theory", "superior" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-07", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert tries to cheer up Dilbert when Dogbert is away.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "dance", "bond", "dancing rat", "Kumbaya", "lonely", "friend" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-08", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert says books are better than television.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "television", "book", "education", "DNA", "global warming", "read", "sound", "picture", "challenge", "image", "complex", "plot", "story", "bake", "cake", "scratch" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-09", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally gets attacked for asking Floyd a question.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "grumpy", "question", "hate job", "chew clothes off", "synthetic" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-10", "subject": "Empowerment", "synopsis": "A jerk at work likes being mean by withholding information he controls.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Floyd", "secretary" ], "keywords": [ "information", "control", "co-worker", "mean", "wedgie", "underwear" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-11", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "Floyd the abusive co-worker.", "synopsis": "The Engineers draw straws to see who kills Floyd, their abusive co-worker.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "draw straws", "co-worker", "cheat", "murder" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-12", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "People at the office want Floyd the budget manager dead, and select Dilbert to do it.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "kill", "irritable", "mean", "love" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-13", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert confronts Floyd, the abusive co-worker.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Floyd" ], "keywords": [ "kill", "attitude", "accomplishment", "report", "choke", "co-worker" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-14", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The engineers ask Dilbert how Floyd the abusive co-worker died.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "kill", "choke", "bile", "first aid", "ambulance", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-15", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert finds a hair in his soup. The waiter thinks it's not the restaurant's fault.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date", "waiter" ], "keywords": [ "restaurant", "hair in soup", "analysis", "lab", "integrity" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-16", "subject": "Politics", "saga": "Elbonian civil war. Dilbert the diplomat.", "synopsis": "Elbonia has civil war.", "characters": [ "reporter", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "reporter", "microphone", "television", "news", "civil war", "weapon" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-17", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dogbert packs for Elbonia to negotiate an end to their civil war.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Elbonian", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "civil war", "negotiate", "arbitration", "fly", "suitcase", "diplomacy", "economy", "adviser", "rebel", "leader", "slingshot", "airline" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-18", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert travels to Elbonia to negotiate an end to their civil war.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "civil war", "slingshot", "airline", "suitcase", "fly", "rebel leader", "negotiate" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-19", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "The Elbonians want Dilbert to be the new rebel leader.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "civil war", "rebel leader", "diplomat", "peace", "mission" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-20", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "After the old rebel leader was killed, they pick a name for Dilbert, their new leader.", "characters": [ "news reader", "Elbonian", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "civil war", "rebel leader", "code name", "television", "piglet", "hamster" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-21", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "An Elbonian asks \"How many left-handed Elbonians does it take to change a light bulb?\"", "characters": [ "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "light bulb joke", "left-handed" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-22", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dogbert sorts jerks into three categories at his school for jerks.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "jerk" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert's School for Jerks", "sort", "categories", "supermodel", "Cindy Crawford", "hubba", "ball", "sports", "lawyer", "foul" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-23", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "Left-handed Elbonians complain about persecution from the right-handed ones.", "characters": [ "Elbonian", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "left-handed", "prejudice", "persecute", "righties", "lefties", "arbitrary", "distinction", "normal" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-24", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert persuades the Elbonians to end their civil war.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Elbonian", "pig" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "peace", "civil war", "animal", "civilised", "slaughter", "discriminate", "economics", "secretary of state" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-25", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "A beaver dispels a basic myth.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "beaver" ], "keywords": [ "busy as a beaver", "beaver", "stereotype", "lazy" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-26", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "A lazy beaver tries to find shortcuts to get more work done.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "beaver" ], "keywords": [ "lazy", "shortcut", "daytime planner", "efficiency" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-27", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Ratbert takes a chemical at a lab.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "scientist" ], "keywords": [ "lab", "rat", "Tic-Tac", "potion", "chemistry", "humour", "funny" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-28", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a repairman to fix his roof.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "repairman" ], "keywords": [ "roof", "repair", "quote", "reliable", "leak", "repeat customer" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-29", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets a metal detector to help him meet women.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "park", "metal detector", "curious", "reproduce" ] }, { "date": "1992-11-30", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert disguised as an alien.", "synopsis": "Dogbert schemes world takeover by disguising himself as a space alien.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "disguise", "alien", "space", "antenna", "hat", "surrender", "fight", "picture" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-01", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert causes the stock market to fall by pretending to be an alien and demanding surrender.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "reporter", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "antennae", "hat", "powers", "television camera", "microphone", "alien", "surrender", "stock market", "interest rates" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-02", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "World leaders debate the demands of Dogbert the alien.", "note": "Some people say the translator's head is shaped like a penis. Scott says this was not intentional.", "characters": [ "reporter", "delegate", "translator" ], "keywords": [ "antennae", "alien", "demand", "leader", "United Nations", "prank", "translation", "parking space", "microphone", "headset" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-03", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert is voted supreme ruler of Earth.", "characters": [ "news reader", "Dogbert", "reporter" ], "keywords": [ "alien", "United Nations", "supreme ruler of Earth", "science", "freckles", "press conference", "television", "surprise", "antenna", "hat", "microphone", "podium" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-04", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert promises to become morally corrupt as supreme ruler of Earth.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "reporter" ], "keywords": [ "alien", "corrupt", "moral", "tax", "supreme ruler of Earth" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-05", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Amazing Ronny wants to debunk the fact Dogbert is an alien.", "characters": [ "Amazing Ronny", "Dogbert", "reporter" ], "keywords": [ "alien", "supreme ruler of Earth", "skeptic", "debunk", "cow", "algebra", "media", "hat", "antenna", "cape" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-06", "subject": "Safety", "synopsis": "Dogbert gives tips on how to be safer in the home.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert's Home Safety Tips", "toaster", "vote", "election", "evangelism", "television", "luck", "toaster", "board", "mouth", "swallow", "communist regime", "pray", "check", "crush" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-07", "subject": "Downsizing", "saga": "Humour in the workplace.", "synopsis": "The Boss uses humour in the workplace to ease the tension of downsizing.", "characters": [ "Boss", "downsized man" ], "keywords": [ "humour", "workplace", "tension", "knock-knock", "joke" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-08", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "The Boss uses humour during Dilbert's annual review: How many engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "humour", "tension", "lightbulb", "joke", "appraisal", "performance", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-09", "subject": "Creativity", "synopsis": "The Boss uses humour to improve creativity.", "characters": [ "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "humour", "tension", "head crash", "loose", "keyboard" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-10", "subject": "Creativity", "synopsis": "Wally is dressed as a clown to increase creativity.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "humour", "costume", "jester", "clown", "task force", "kill", "creative" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-11", "subject": "Creativity", "synopsis": "Everyone wears a \"Kick Me\" sign to increase humour in the workplace.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "humour", "kick me", "relax", "injury", "creative", "crotch", "male", "balls", "testicles" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says video games sales have plateaued, so that calls for drastic action.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "video game", "sales", "plateau", "diversify", "pollute", "outside", "outdoors", "inside", "indoors" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-13", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders why people don't answer questions.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "question", "conversation", "rhetoric", "torture", "answer" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-14", "subject": "Sales", "saga": "Dilbert in Sales.", "synopsis": "The Boss temporarily transfers Dilbert to field sales -- for the wrong reasons.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "field sales", "transfer", "management", "yank your chain", "over communicating", "assignment", "round" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-15", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Dilbert, in Sales, is introduced to his customers.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Dilbert", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "transfer", "customer", "account", "despise", "hurt", "small business", "boss", "new guy" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-16", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "A sales trainer says the company makes overpriced, inferior products.", "characters": [ "sales trainer", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "field sales", "quota", "illegal", "overpriced", "inferior products", "training", "inferior products", "projector", "presentation" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-17", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "A potential customer asks Dilbert the salesman to top the competitor's offer.", "characters": [ "customer", "Dilbert", "masseuse" ], "keywords": [ "sales call", "field sales", "competitor", "massage from Helga", "offer" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-18", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert says drug testing at the lab will change Dilbert's mind about accepting him in the family.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "accept", "lab", "drug test", "family", "little" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-19", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert tests a growth formula at the lab.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "accept", "growth formula", "giant", "sarcasm", "wit" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-20", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants an expensive present for Christmas.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Christmas", "analysis", "mortgage", "gift", "cash", "reserves", "hat", "Yule log", "finance", "social life" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-21", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss changes words in Dilbert's report to make it less readable.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "report", "word", "readable", "fax", "type size", "font size", "facilitate", "implementation phase", "editing" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-22", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "A co-worker says he's not stressed by the holidays this year because everyone gets the same gift.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "Christmas", "gift", "stress", "advertisement", "flabmaster", "socks", "muscle", "couch", "shop", "holidays" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-23", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally collects for a Christmas gift for the poor.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "Christmas", "gift", "poor", "CD", "shallow", "card", "money" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-24", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert is outraged Dilbert only got him one gift this year.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "Christmas", "gift", "hat", "tree", "Humane Society", "sweater", "telephone", "outrage" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-25", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert doesn't want to open his gift from Dilbert since it's only a hat.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Christmas", "gift", "hat", "crown", "humour", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-26", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "Dry cleaning will be ready in three days even though the sign says \"While You Wait.\"", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "dry cleaner", "while you wait", "wait" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-27", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Dilbert reads the care instructions on a shirt.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "clean", "instruction", "glacier", "cotton", "Australia", "Nik-Nik bug", "washing machine" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-28", "subject": "Technology", "saga": "Personal technology wars, featuring Techno-Bill.", "synopsis": "Dilbert wears a lot of personal technology.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "personal technology", "cell phone", "computer", "modem", "envy", "thesaurus", "pager", "palm", "organise", "wireless", "antenna", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-29", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert challenges Wally for technical superiority.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "personal technology", "pager", "calculator watch", "dominance", "challenge", "ritual", "battle", "compass", "wireless", "fax", "antenna", "gizmo", "superior", "male" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-30", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert rejoices in his superiority over less-equipped engineers.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Techno-Bill" ], "keywords": [ "personal technology", "fax", "prime engineer", "superior", "antenna", "gadget" ] }, { "date": "1992-12-31", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Techno-Bill square off in a battle for technical superiority.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Techno-Bill" ], "keywords": [ "personal technology", "fax", "cell phone", "modem", "autodial", "control module", "antenna", "gadget" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-01", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert calculates a new theory about the origin of the universe.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "theory", "origin of the universe", "big bang", "practical application" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-02", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains to Ratbert how all matter in the universe could collapse and fit in a thimble.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "matter", "space", "thimble", "flaw in theory", "logic" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-03", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert goes to free therapy from psychology students.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "psychology student", "receptionist" ], "keywords": [ "therapy", "free", "psychology", "student", "self-esteem", "ugly", "beer", "handsome", "mother" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-04", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Belt-o-Authority, a headband to deliver electric shocks.", "synopsis": "Everyone wears a device to deliver electric shocks; the Boss's new management method.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "belt-o-authority", "shock", "headband", "electric", "performance", "theory", "pain" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss enjoys shocking people as a management technique.", "characters": [ "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "shock", "electric", "headband", "subjective", "memo", "empowerment", "quality" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert redirects his electric shocks to Wally.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Dogbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "shock", "electric", "headband", "rewire", "pain", "rewire", "humour" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-07", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "School for technology imbeciles.", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to open a school for technology imbeciles.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "kid" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert's School for Technology Imbeciles", "training", "technology", "imbecile", "VCR", "ATM", "bank", "microwave", "CD" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-08", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert welcomes students to his school for technology imbeciles.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "training", "technology", "imbecile", "intelligence" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-09", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks the technology imbeciles what they can do with a microwave. The students insert a video tape.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "student" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert's School for Technology Imbeciles", "training", "technology", "imbecile", "microwave", "video", "beta", "oven", "tape", "timer", "smoke" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-10", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert compiles the top 100 list of things that bothers him. Dogbert takes advantage.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "quality of life", "behaviour", "countdown", "toenail", "soup", "catalogue", "prioritise", "bonanza", "countdown", "amuse", "clip" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-11", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert joins a group that uses acronyms for everything.", "note": "The asterisk says \"Big Furry Deal.\"", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "acronym", "society", "unwashed masses", "engineer", "initials" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-12", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert and an engineer talk in acronyms.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "engineer" ], "keywords": [ "acronym", "IBM", 586, "RAM", "SPARC", "LAN", "artificial intelligence", "BISDN", "AVR" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-13", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert writes an instruction book for newborn babies.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "parent" ], "keywords": [ "book", "author", "baby", "instruction", "expert", "cheese steak" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-14", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert writes about television in his instruction book for newborn babies.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "parent" ], "keywords": [ "book", "baby", "instruction", "Great Book", "TV listing", "television", "remote control", "TV Guide" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-15", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert clings to Dilbert's leg.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "hug", "accept", "sneak", "Old Spice" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss tries Management by Walking Around.", "characters": [ "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "MBWA", "management by walking around", "park", "improve" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-17", "subject": "Technology", "note": "Scott Adams' Internet e-mail address is announced.", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets sucked into cyberspace without his pants. Scott publishes his e-mail address: \"scottadams@aol.com\".", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "Scott Adams' e-mail address", "cyberspace", "pants", "Calvin and Hobbes", "fantasy", "Internet", "nerd", "scottadams@aol.com" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-18", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dilbert decides to stay home from work because he's ill.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "ill", "sorry", "tea", "waffle", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-19", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "The Boss removes all ink from the office to save the squid.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "ink", "squid", "glue", "cow" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-20", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "The Boss calls a meeting to discuss paper recycling -- including the agenda.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "paper", "recycle", "drawback" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-21", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "The Boss says whales are useless and it wouldn't affect him if they were extinct.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "whale", "extinct", "service", "fat", "mammal", "rescue", "environment" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-22", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dogbert interprets romantic language.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "romance", "interpreter", "boring", "translate", "male", "female", "bond", "restaurant", "wine", "business card" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-23", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dogbert interprets what Dilbert says on his date.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "romance", "interpreter", "translate", "emotion", "compassion", "logic", "solve", "emotion", "problem", "reason", "wisdom", "compassion", "fake", "restaurant", "wine" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-24", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert chokes at a meeting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "technology", "feasible", "scoff", "choke", "credibility", "laugh", "snort", "breath", "spittle", "headcount", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-25", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Ted makes funny faces and tells a long story at a meeting.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "ramble", "story", "funny face" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-26", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert doesn't want to fetch a Frisbee.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Frisbee", "skeet", "cat", "pet", "fetch", "shotgun" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-27", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Tim is working on a secret project and doesn't want to talk about it.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Tim" ], "keywords": [ "secret", "confidential", "gun", "proprietary", "important", "pistol" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-28", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "A co-worker has an idea to lower expenses and increase revenues.", "characters": [ "co-worker", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "idea", "expense", "revenue", "blinding flash of the obvious", "finance" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-29", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert decides to become the centre of the universe.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "universe", "centre", "brain", "relationship" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-30", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date says she likes a man who can cry.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "cry", "water", "price", "trick" ] }, { "date": "1993-01-31", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dilbert runs a proposal by the legal department.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "lawyer" ], "keywords": [ "proposal", "attitude", "career", "sue", "memo", "lawsuit" ] }, { "date": "1993-02-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss promotes Peter, a brilliant programmer, to management.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Peter" ], "keywords": [ "programmer", "promotion", "necktie", "social awareness", "communicate" ] }, { "date": "1993-02-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Peter, the new supervisor, has trouble with his new management clothes.", "characters": [ "Peter", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "new boss", "management clothes", "manual", "800 help line", "underwear" ] }, { "date": "1993-02-03", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert tests Dogbert's homing instinct.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "test", "homing instinct", "car", "experiment", "Reader's Digest", "clipboard" ] }, { "date": "1993-02-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Since the company fell short of the earnings forecast, only managers can eat doughnuts at meetings.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "doughnut", "earnings projection" ] }, { "date": "1993-02-05", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Some people always wash their cars and write letters to the editor.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "car", "clean", "letter to the editor", "sarcasm", "book", "read" ] }, { "date": "1993-02-06", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "It's not the education, it's the quality of work that counts.", "characters": [ "Wendell J. Stone IV", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "MBA", "Stanford", "education", "quality", "senior VP", "Porsche", "suspender", "lick", "tar" ] }, { "date": "1993-02-07", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dogbert listens to the news, which has lots of data, but no useful information.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "news reader" ], "keywords": [ "news", "television", "education", "budget", "music", "safety", "piano", "tax", "poll", "health", "risk", "economist", "economy" ] }, { "date": "1993-02-08", "subject": "Creativity", "saga": "Dogbert, creativity consultant.", "synopsis": "Dogbert says he can get the employees to start using their right-brain as well.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "brain", "right-brain", "left-brain", "stem", "meeting", "consultant", "quantitative analysis" ] }, { "date": "1993-02-09", "subject": "Creativity", "synopsis": "Dogbert uses word association to unleash creativity.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "word association", "chair", "doughnut", "consultant", "suppress" ] }, { "date": "1993-02-10", "subject": "Creativity", "synopsis": "Dogbert has a special creativity exercise for the MBAs.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "MBA" ], "keywords": [ "MBA", "payback", "research", "hit", "stick", "suspender", "consultant" ] }, { "date": "1993-02-11", "subject": "Creativity", "synopsis": "An accountant describes his version of creativity.", "characters": [ "accountant", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "intuition", "data", "assumption", "NPV", "discount rate" ] }, { "date": "1993-02-12", "subject": "Creativity", "synopsis": "Dogbert's final consultant report says the company wastes money on consultants.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "report", "doom", "waste", "irony" ] }, { "date": "1993-02-13", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders what his date will reveal on the critical third date.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "critical third date", "secret", "deformity", "mob boss", "restaurant", "wine" ] }, { "date": "1993-02-14", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to find out if the applicant has what it takes to be an engineer.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Karl" ], "keywords": [ "engineer", "test", "pencil", "fabric", "pocket", "hair", "protector", "panic situation" ] }, { "date": "1993-02-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks the employees to have lunch together once a week.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "lunch", "team spirit", "motivation", "detail", "free time" ] }, { "date": "1993-02-16", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Ted is working like a dog.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "working like a dog", "scratch", "hind leg" ] }, { "date": "1993-02-17", "subject": "Finance", "synopsis": "A mistake in the budget spreadsheet means money was transferred but not an employee.", "characters": [ "accountant", "Boss", "employee" ], "keywords": [ "budget", "spreadsheet", "typo", "transfer", "headcount" ] }, { "date": "1993-02-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss has good news and bad news. The bad news is they can't compete against small companies.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "good news", "bad news", "competition" ] }, { "date": "1993-02-19", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally has a roof on his cubicle.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "modular", "roof", "wall", "ceiling" ] }, { "date": "1993-02-20", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets contact lenses.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "glasses", "contact lenses", "emergency backup system", "pants" ] }, { "date": "1993-02-21", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert retouches a client photo at his dating service.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "client" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert's Digital Dating Service", "photo", "retouch", "Sandra Bernhard", "camera", "camcorder", "database", "hair", "nose", "tan", "teeth", "wrinkle", "stomach", "lip" ] }, { "date": "1993-02-22", "subject": "Science", "saga": "Hole in space.", "synopsis": "Dilbert discovers a hole in the fabric of space.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "fabric", "hole", "space", "dangerous" ] }, { "date": "1993-02-23", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Ratbert explores the mystery in the hole in space.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ratbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "hole", "space", "fabric", "Dick Clark", "secret" ] }, { "date": "1993-02-24", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert pulls Ratbert out of the hole in the fabric of space.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ratbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "hole", "space", "fabric", "dimension", "bore", "minute", "year" ] }, { "date": "1993-02-25", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Ratbert writes a book about his experience in the hole in space.", "characters": [ "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "hole", "space", "fabric", "journal", "book", "author", "editor", "radio" ] }, { "date": "1993-02-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss arranges for a bowling night as a reward for performance.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "bowling", "reward", "performance" ] }, { "date": "1993-02-27", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "note": "The title strip for \"Still Pumped from Using the Mouse.\"", "synopsis": "Dogbert makes a calendar \"The Men of Engineering.\"", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "calendar", "men of engineering", "pumped", "mouse", "camera", "muscle", "shirt" ] }, { "date": "1993-02-28", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert can't mingle during a break in a meeting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "presenter" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "break", "washroom", "air dryer", "mingle", "agenda" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-01", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A writer of a 15 year-old memo still brags about it.", "characters": [ "Tim Zumph", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "famous", "memo", "typo", "performance review", "resting on laurels" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces raises are now dependent on evaluations by co-workers.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "raise", "evaluation", "budget" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Employees are no longer the valuable asset, the Boss says.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "employees are our most valuable asset", "money", "carbon paper" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-04", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A newly engaged woman shows off a cheap diamond ring.", "characters": [ "woman", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "engagement", "diamond ring", "shopping channel", "list price", "good save" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-05", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Linda she looks pudgy in that dress.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Linda", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "dress", "pudgy", "martial arts", "criticism", "constructive" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-06", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains about celebrity photographers and how much easier it would be if photos were retouched.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "photograph", "paparazzi", "celebrity", "Cindy Crawford", "kiss", "scan", "retouch" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-07", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "People introduce themselves at a meeting. Dilbert panics.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "co-worker", "Dogbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "introduction", "district", "wit", "Norway", "pay", "pressure" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-08", "subject": "Technology", "saga": "Dilbert's new computer is obsolete.", "synopsis": "Dogbert taunts Dilbert when his new computer goes out-of-date.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "museum", "computer chip", "out of date", "state of the art", "leading edge" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-09", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert's new computer is already obsolete.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "obsolete", "technology curve", "look down", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-10", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets pitch for fingernail computers that know where your fingers are.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "sales rep" ], "keywords": [ "fingernail-computer", "laptop", "outdated", "obsolete", "keyboard" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-11", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert becomes a professional insulter.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "professional insulter", "ugly", "disguise", "garbage day" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-12", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert delivers an insult-o-gram from a woman to her ex-husband.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "insult-o-gram", "wife", "satellite", "photograph", "cloudy", "tip" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-13", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells his date he just wants to be friends.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "romance", "friend", "reverse psychology", "porpoise", "restaurant", "wine", "mammal" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-14", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "When Dilbert asks a woman on a date, she says he must pass the challenge of fear.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "challenge of fear", "test", "slam", "weasel", "elevator", "abuse", "staple", "manliness", "bulletin board" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-15", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "A budget analyst asks Dilbert to calculate the impact of replacing the engineers with plants.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "budget analyst" ], "keywords": [ "emergency", "exercise", "plant", "replace", "rent" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-16", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "A budget analyst summarises 600 projects into three bullet points.", "characters": [ "budget analyst", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "presentation", "summary", "impact", "project", "oxygen", "Jell-O", "competition" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-17", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert believes he is evolving into a flying rat.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "evolution", "fly", "advantage", "wing", "happy", "bat" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-18", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Ratbert wants to fly without waiting to evolve wings.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "evolution", "Wright brothers", "fly", "airplane", "flap" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-19", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Bob says it's possible to fly if Ratbert flaps his arms hard enough.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "fly", "impossible", "arm", "flap", "embarrassment" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-20", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "Dilbert \"helps\" a cashier by paying a sum that makes change \"easy.\"", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "cashier" ], "keywords": [ "change", "arithmetic", "cash register" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-21", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert says, beyond all reason, crabby people get what they want.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "crabby", "demand", "reward", "punish", "power", "dance" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-22", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "The Boss can't promote Dilbert to Engineering prima donna without disorders.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "prima donna", "mumble", "disdain", "personality", "disorder" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-23", "subject": "Technology", "saga": "Technical prima donna.", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to be promoted to \"technical prima donna.\"", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "prima donna", "promote", "Dustin Hoffman", "Sean Penn", "paparazzi", "personality disorder" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-24", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert practises ignoring others as part of training to be technical prima donna.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "prima donna", "promotion", "disdain", "ignore", "dummy", "question", "practise" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-25", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells the Boss he deserves to be technical prima donna.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "prima donna", "promotion", "emotionally unstable", "dangerous", "fire extinguisher", "foam", "technical knowledge" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants all employees to fill out a confusing form.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "form", "obfuscation", "confusion", "trick", "quit", "sign", "rescind", "decline", "reverse", "incline", "discontinue", "employment" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-27", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert takes over the world by hypnosis.", "synopsis": "Dogbert learns hypnosis.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "hypnosis", "book", "remember", "sandblast", "cracker", "conquest" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-28", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Rumours are flying aliens from the planet Zorb will take over the company.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "management", "rumour", "alien", "Zorb", "lizard", "corn dog", "touchy-feely", "team player" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-29", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants a device to take over the satellite broadcasts.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "technology", "satellite", "hijack", "pirate", "broadcast", "gizmo", "illegal", "fishing lure", "satellite dish", "antenna" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-30", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "After Dogbert hypnotises people, Bob will whack everyone else with his tail.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "hypnosis", "conquer", "television", "accountant", "tail", "whack", "callous", "sensitive skin" ] }, { "date": "1993-03-31", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert broadcasts his hypnotic message to take over the world.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "hypnosis", "broadcast", "satellite", "poster", "chant", "king", "camera", "satellite dish", "antenna" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-01", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains to Dogbert about his satellite broadcast of a hypnotic message.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "hypnosis", "broadcast", "satellite", "poster", "amusing", "bra", "camera", "hijack", "chant" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-02", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Wally says Dogbert's takeover of the world may have benefits.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "hypnosis", "war", "economy", "poster", "bra", "coincidence", "D-cup" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-03", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert retires as King and master of the Earth.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "everyone-on-Earth" ], "keywords": [ "king", "pillow", "camera", "satellite dish", "antenna", "poster", "radio" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-04", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to buy some cheap parts at an electronics supply store.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "technology", "Electron Hut", "P-Connect adaptor post", "stock", "cheap" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-05", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert explains his treatment by Dilbert having a bad experience with a rat.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "experience", "prejudice", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-06", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert tries hiding from Dilbert because absence makes the heart grow fonder.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "absence", "heart", "fond", "waste basket" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-07", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert is concerned they might be a dysfunctional family.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "dysfunctional", "family member", "crime" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-08", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert threatens turning to crime or turning into a certified public accountant.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "love", "crime", "certified public accountant", "support" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-09", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert is nervous about his upcoming speech to engineers.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "presentation", "society", "engineer", "speech", "naked", "vision", "ear", "necktie" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-10", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Matter becomes denser as it gets closer to the speed of light.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "speed of light", "dense", "gym teacher", "high school", "book", "cover-up" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-11", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dogbert studies engineers in their native habitat.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "study", "native", "dominant", "male", "female", "mate", "groom", "engineers in the mist", "vegetation", "self-conscious", "envelope", "backpack", "knapsack" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-12", "subject": "Science", "saga": "Testosterone spews from Wally.", "synopsis": "Wally has too much testosterone -- that's why he's bald.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Ted", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "bald", "testosterone", "pore", "attitude", "hair", "aggressive" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-13", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Wally thinks women will desire him because of his excess testosterone.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Wally's date" ], "keywords": [ "bald", "testosterone", "hair", "attitude", "desire", "aggressive" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-14", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Wally is popular since he has extra testosterone.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "bald", "testosterone", "hair", "attitude", "popular", "truck", "rifle", "pigeon", "hunt" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-15", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Wally had his pickup truck jacked up. Wally's license plate is \"W-1.\"", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "bald", "testosterone", "truck", "jacked up", "tailgate" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-16", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Wally's testosterone flow dries up.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Wally's date" ], "keywords": [ "bald", "testosterone", "attractive", "shallow" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-17", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "People who don't vote shouldn't complain, Dilbert says.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "vote", "complain", "bumper sticker", "logic", "raise" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-18", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date is a serial yakker.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date", "waiter" ], "keywords": [ "restaurant", "yak", "serial", "bore", "coma", "play dead" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-19", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert will go to a local school to tell the kids about a career in engineering.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "school", "role model", "career", "engineer", "assignment", "children", "future" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-20", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells school kids about a career in engineering.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "teacher" ], "keywords": [ "school", "career", "memo", "scapegoat", "vacation", "engineer", "technical" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-21", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert talks to a school class about the Engineering career option.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "kid" ], "keywords": [ "career", "cubicle", "EMF", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-22", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Ninety percent of all people in engineering are male so dating opportunities for females are good.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "kid" ], "keywords": [ "school", "career", "social life", "video game", "dating", "engineer", "bonanza" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-23", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "The goal of engineers is to avoid catastrophe, Dilbert tells the kids.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "teacher" ], "keywords": [ "school", "career", "retire", "blame", "catastrophe", "consultant", "marketing", "doughnut" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-24", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert is ecstatic at a new gizmo to attach to his computer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "technophilia", "computer", "church" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-25", "subject": "Productivity", "synopsis": "Statistics say office productivity dropped when computers came in.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "technology", "statistics", "software", "program", "computer model", "scapegoat", "employee" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-26", "subject": "Empowerment", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to find a project that's big, but not important.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "justify existence", "attention", "staff cut", "important", "empower", "quiet" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-27", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "Dilbert has eliminated \"work\" by buying $25,000 of computer stuff.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "technophilia", "computer", "example", "tedious", "process" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-28", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Television news focuses on death and injury.", "characters": [ "news reader" ], "keywords": [ "news", "television", "death", "injury", "pedestrian", "van", "bad news", "tragedy", "weather", "sports" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-29", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert creates a television network that reports only good news.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "news", "television", "network", "drug", "person of the week", "happy", "millionaire", "brain", "crime" ] }, { "date": "1993-04-30", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert has a news show with good news, in contrast to the usual one.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "news reader" ], "keywords": [ "good-news-show", "job", "owl", "forest", "asteroid", "Earth", "miniseries", "science", "remote control", "television" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-01", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert bores a woman to death.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman", "police officer" ], "keywords": [ "optical disk", "file server", "boring", "death" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-02", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "Dilbert goes bungee jumping.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "bungee jump", "danger", "law", "weight", "manly", "expose" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-03", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert goes to a sensory deprivation chamber.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "sensory deprivation chamber", "stimulation", "pay", "mental", "physical" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says they must embrace change. The engineers suspect the stench of a dead woodchuck.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "fad", "change", "newsletter", "woodchuck" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-05", "subject": "Fashion", "saga": "Clothes shopping.", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to get service from a clerk who is pretending to be a mannequin.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "mannequin", "name tag", "employees only", "hide", "retail" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-06", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "A clerk won't help Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "service", "wage", "public", "exact change", "retail" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-07", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks if a clothing store stocks clothes that actually fit people.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "clothing clerk" ], "keywords": [ "waist", "pants", "retail", "merchandise", "shop", "stock" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-08", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Dilbert, having found the pants he wants to buy, tries to pay for them.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "cash register", "credit card", "steal", "dead", "chalk outline", "pants", "strangle", "murder" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-09", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss latches on to an obscure engineering fact and rubs it in.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "microfleem", "subradiante", "curious", "engineer", "pain", "hide" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-10", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to help with the budget.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "help", "brand", "spit", "shun", "guard", "engineer", "raincoat" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-11", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "Dilbert learns the origins of the company's budgeting system.", "characters": [ "Susan", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "system", "monk", "cask", "idea" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-12", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "Dilbert is shunned by the other engineers because he's working on the budget.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "shun", "hypothetical", "electricity" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-13", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "A co-worker makes fun of Dilbert working on the budget.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "ridicule", "exciting", "job", "delete", "revenge" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-14", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Ratbert wonders about his existence -- maybe he's a potato.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Rene Descartes", "I think", "therefore I am", "potato", "yam", "pillow" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-15", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "An illiterate athlete tells his life story to Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "motivational-speaker" ], "keywords": [ "illiterate", "sports", "motivational speaker", "athlete", "park bench", "contract", "drugs" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-16", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert donated money to charity.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "charity", "donation", "guilt", "moral", "hobby", "computer", "starve" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-17", "subject": "Dating", "saga": "Two-headed telepath.", "synopsis": "Dilbert goes on a blind date with a two-headed telepath.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Debbie \/ Donna" ], "keywords": [ "blind date", "two-headed telepath", "flowers", "Siamese twins" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-18", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries not to think of anything naughty on his date with a two-headed telepath.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Debbie \/ Donna" ], "keywords": [ "blind date", "two-headed telepath", "naughty", "thought", "Siamese twins", "restaurant", "wine" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-19", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's strange thoughts are perceived by his two-headed-telepath date.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Debbie \/ Donna" ], "keywords": [ "telepath", "strange thought", "two-headed telepath", "Siamese twins", "restaurant", "wine", "tablecloth" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-20", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert can't get a good night kiss from the two-headed telepath.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Debbie \/ Donna" ], "keywords": [ "blind date", "two-headed telepath", "kiss", "handshake", "filibuster", "Siamese twins" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-21", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The company heads hatch a plan to get rid of employees with a trick package.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice", "manager" ], "keywords": [ "retirement plan", "math", "cosine", "calculate" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-22", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to add a confusing sentence to Dilbert's report.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "report", "dead-end technology", "micro-robotics", "win-win", "secret", "opposite", "confuse", "senseless", "waste" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-23", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains about the penalties at the Bank of Ethel.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ethel" ], "keywords": [ "Bank of Ethel", "credit card", "chequing account", "penalty", "customer service", "moral", "trap" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-24", "subject": "Productivity", "saga": "Wally constantly daydreams about women.", "synopsis": "The Boss catches Wally napping.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "sleep", "brainstorm", "nurse", "industrialist", "dream", "accounting" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-25", "subject": "Productivity", "synopsis": "Wally constantly daydreams about women and wants to stop.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Ted", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "daydream", "fantasy", "productivity", "accounting", "engineer", "marketing" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-26", "subject": "Productivity", "synopsis": "The Boss complains the men spend their time daydreaming of women.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Ted", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "daydream", "women" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-27", "subject": "Productivity", "synopsis": "A woman shows the Boss her \"Defantalator,\" to stop men from daydreaming about women.", "characters": [ "woman", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "defantalator", "fantasy", "daydream", "gizmo", "invention", "think", "makeup", "hair" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-28", "subject": "Productivity", "synopsis": "A woman \"fixes\" a man who daydreams about attractive women.", "characters": [ "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "daydream", "women", "defantalator", "figure skating" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-29", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "A Mom complains to Dogbert the educational system is a failure.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "woman", "kid" ], "keywords": [ "education", "janitor", "scientist", "engineer", "economy", "maid" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-30", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert debate which part of the brain contains free will.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "brain", "free will", "chemistry", "physics", "blame" ] }, { "date": "1993-05-31", "subject": "Society", "saga": "Noriko is concerned for the planet.", "synopsis": "Dogbert warns Noriko the future will be a treadmill of classes and work.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Noriko" ], "keywords": [ "education", "television", "school", "job", "explain" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-01", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Noriko says the planet is a disaster and wonders who is in charge.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Noriko", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "control", "planet", "environment", "poverty", "responsible", "disaster", "crime", "adult" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-02", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Since the planet is messed up, Noriko says the social contract is off.", "characters": [ "Noriko", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "social contract", "accountable", "adult" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-03", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Noriko says when she's old enough, the previous generation will be sent to a penal colony on Mars.", "characters": [ "Noriko", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "environment", "science", "generation", "penal colony", "Mars", "adult", "power" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-04", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Noriko meets Bob.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Noriko", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "dinosaur", "introduction", "extinct", "Krazy Glue", "credenza" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-05", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Noriko and Bob go out to save the planet.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Noriko", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "planet", "generation", "black belt", "karate", "wedgie" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-06", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "It's Dilbert's performance review, and the Boss wants him to fill out a form with trendy categories.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "trend", "form", "cash", "empowerment", "raise", "cynical", "accomplish", "motivation" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-07", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Noriko confronts the Boss about saving the planet.", "characters": [ "Noriko", "Boss", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "planet", "generation", "politics", "debt", "twirling wedgie", "adult", "children" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-08", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert, geek leader, VENOD.", "synopsis": "Dogbert declares himself leader through e-mail to computer geeks.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "geek", "leadership", "VENOD", "Virtual Electronic Nation Of Dogbert", "empire", "tradition" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-09", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert plans to poll the geeks and abide by the majority decision.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "geek", "leadership", "poll", "vote", "majority", "democracy", "power", "politics", "economy" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-10", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants a discount on a company's product or VENOD's members will stop buying.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "supplier" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "product", "discount", "wireless", "threat", "daughter", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-11", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert, as leader of nerds, is not worried about becoming a nerd.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "VENOD", "genetics", "disposition", "pocket", "emergency" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-12", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert organises his tasks into A, B and C priorities, then figures out which list to tackle first.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "task", "priority", "stapler oil", "list" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-13", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "Dogbert tries to buy politically correct shoes.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "clerk", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "shoe", "store", "slaughter", "leather", "slave labour", "domestic", "premium", "shine cloth", "soul" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss writes a wordy mission statement for the group.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "mission statement", "stockholder value", "empowerment", "paradigm", "doughnut", "proactive" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-15", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert's Seminar on Management Zombies.", "synopsis": "The Boss wants Dilbert to go to a management zombie course.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert's Seminar on Management Zombies", "utilise", "paradigm", "proactive", "empower" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-16", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to turn clear-speaking individuals into jargon-spewing zombies.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Carl", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "seminar", "optimism", "creative", "jargon", "doughnut" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-17", "subject": "Creativity", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains how management zombies should squash creativity.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "seminar-goer" ], "keywords": [ "management-zombies", "idea", "marketing", "fear" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert introduces the management zombie seminar to zombie elixir.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "seminar-goer" ], "keywords": [ "management-zombies", "coffee", "sleep", "family", "sugar" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-19", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert teaches students to speak in empty generalities.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "seminar-goer" ], "keywords": [ "seminar", "generalities", "business plan", "result", "bottom line", "meeting" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-20", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dogbert referees a date, handing out penalties for misbehaviour.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "sports", "referee", "penalty", "boyfriend", "friend", "score" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-21", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert is trapped in a video game trance.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "trance", "stare", "computer", "video game", "Lassie", "stack", "dish", "ladder" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-22", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert stacked dishes on Dilbert's head while he's in a trance.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "trance", "video game", "dish", "theory", "mental activity" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-23", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "All the good acronyms have been taken.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "acronym", "phlegm", "placenta", "list" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-24", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "All the project acronyms have been used.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "acronym", "accounting code", "reuse", "complete" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-25", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Alice grabs things that aren't right.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "compulsion", "grab", "tie" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-26", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Alice grabs the Boss's pointy hair.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "compulsion", "grab", "coffee", "hair", "temptation" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants everyone to give 110%. With all the overhead, the engineers can give 43%.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "110%", "vacation", "sick", "staff meeting", "commitment", "estimate", "theory", "maximum" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-28", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert completes a patent application. The other engineers come sniffing around.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "patent", "application", "success", "smell", "false positive", "baloney", "sandwich" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants his name added to Dilbert's patent application.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "patent", "contribution", "devil's advocate", "ugly" ] }, { "date": "1993-06-30", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A woman wants her name added to Dilbert's patent application in return for a favour.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "patent", "friend", "lunch", "pencil" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants a raise since his patent will earn fifty million dollars for the company.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "patent", "earn", "raise", "profit", "budget", "recognition", "excuse" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-02", "subject": "Presentation", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to know if his illustration for his presentation is clear.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "illustration", "Elvis", "credenza", "lightning", "video teleconference" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-03", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets a bad reaction to his artwork at a presentation.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "artwork", "presentation", "projector" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-04", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert feels sad and Ratbert wants to cheer him up.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "sad", "hug", "clean", "shoe", "relationship", "depressed", "frown", "smile" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-05", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "While brainstorming, Alice imagines herself away from the rest of the group.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "brainstorm", "imagine", "clueless", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-06", "subject": "Science", "saga": "Happiness from fruits and vegetables.", "synopsis": "Dilbert discovers fruits and vegetables that stimulate happiness.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "brain", "chemical", "happiness", "ban", "government", "fruit", "vegetable" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-07", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Government agents come to confiscate Dilbert's happiness drug.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "government man" ], "keywords": [ "happiness", "drug", "fruit", "vegetable", "government", "confiscate", "nutrition", "pistol", "outlaw", "gun", "sunglasses" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-08", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert erases his formula for making a happiness drug out of fruits and vegetables.", "characters": [ "government man", "Dilbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "happiness", "drug", "erase", "pursue", "wedgie", "jail", "pistol", "gun", "sunglasses", "discomfort", "proactive", "fulfilled" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-09", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert makes collectible commemorative plates with acorns on them.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "commemorative plate", "collectible", "acorn", "mystery", "horde", "moron" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-10", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert introduces a new series of commemorative plates -- a French guy with a hat.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "commemorative plate", "collectible", "acorn", "French guy with a hat", "missing", "pillow", "Russian" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-11", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders why he's so unlucky in love. Maybe it's because he's so knowledgeable in science. Dogbert has a simpler explanation.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "dating", "science", "intimidation", "self-esteem", "ego", "Occam's Razor", "simple", "idiot", "unattractive" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-12", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert writes a health book with obvious advice.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "health-book", "joggerobic", "carpet", "ignorance", "formula", "food", "sleep", "exercise", "jog" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-13", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert is in a commercial for his joggerobic carpet patch.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "television", "advertisement", "fad", "diet", "exercise", "joggerobic", "book", "athlete", "jog", "mail order" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-14", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert branches out into other products because of his successful joggerobic carpet patch.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "joggerobic", "carpet", "expand", "product research", "carpet club for men", "cash" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-15", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Ratbert invents \"Carpet Patch Kids\" for a new product.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "product", "direction", "carpet patch kids", "unique", "name", "personal attack" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The newest fad is for employees to evaluate the Boss's performance.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "fad", "policy", "appraisal", "performance review", "retribution", "subordinate" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-17", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert worries he isn't reaching his full potential as a rat.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "bubonic plague", "potential", "population", "Europe", "temperature", "glory days", "sick", "illness" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-18", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets a perfect attendance award.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "award", "attendance", "children", "meeting", "germ", "stress", "gloat", "immune system", "sick", "health" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-19", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Employees turn into damp rags.", "synopsis": "The Boss sucks the life out of an employee turning him into a damp rag.", "characters": [ "Boss", "co-worker", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "project", "money", "support", "status report", "damp rag", "budget", "life force", "empower", "brunch" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-20", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert offers to help the damp rags -- for a fee.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "damp rag" ], "keywords": [ "class action suit", "damp rag", "life force", "fee", "BMW", "spineless" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-21", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert confronts the Boss about turning employees into damp rags.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "class action suit", "damp rag", "car wash", "blow nose", "law firm", "accounting" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-22", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "A lawyer tries to intimidate Dogbert for bringing a lawsuit.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "lawyer" ], "keywords": [ "class action suit", "intimidation", "case" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-23", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dogbert calls the defendant's lawyer in his suit.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "lawyer", "judge" ], "keywords": [ "court", "trial", "class action suit", "lingerie", "defendant", "witness", "gavel" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-24", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dogbert sums up his argument and tries to bribe the jury.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "judge" ], "keywords": [ "court", "trial", "class action suit", "bribe", "kickback", "reasonable doubt", "jury", "self-addressed stamped envelope", "SASE", "gavel" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The engineers ask their president some questions and get surprisingly honest answers.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Mr. Goodenrich", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "president", "minority", "fear", "making babies", "salary", "profit", "training", "honesty", "question", "talent", "fired" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-26", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "The jury awards Dogbert fifty million dollars in the damp rag lawsuit.", "characters": [ "jury foreman", "judge" ], "keywords": [ "court", "trial", "class action suit", "verdict", "Maytag dryer", "gavel", "glasses", "best dressed", "jury" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-27", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert gloats about his fifty million dollar lawsuit win.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "flunky" ], "keywords": [ "trial", "middle class", "buy and sell", "calculator" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-28", "subject": "Science", "saga": "Biodome experiment.", "synopsis": "Dilbert proposes a biodome experiment to Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "bioworld", "glass dome", "ecology", "volunteer", "engineer", "picture" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-29", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "The design for Bioworld is complete, and Dogbert has selected the volunteers.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "bioworld", "glass dome", "ecology", "volunteer", "car salesman", "coincidence", "design", "satellite dish", "antenna", "model" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-30", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "The dome is sealed in the Bioworld experiment for two years.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "volunteer", "delivery man" ], "keywords": [ "bioworld", "ecology", "glass dome", "plant", "delivery", "survival", "dome", "resource", "seal" ] }, { "date": "1993-07-31", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "The Biodome experiment is off to a bad start with no plants in the dome.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "bioworld", "ecology", "glass dome", "plant", "oxygen", "journal", "laptop computer", "diary", "sign", "emotion" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-01", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "A doctor evaluates his options about Dilbert suffering from the flu.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "doctor" ], "keywords": [ "ethics", "flu", "market value", "organ", "transplant", "malpractice", "blood", "wax", "Jeep", "stethoscope", "fabric" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-02", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "The Bioworld volunteers think nobody values their lives because they're ex-car salespeople.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "bioworld", "ecology", "glass dome", "philosophy", "value", "cell phone", "oxygen", "food", "volunteer", "philosophy", "logic" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-03", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "The Bioworld volunteers plead with Dogbert to end the experiment.", "characters": [ "volunteer", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "bioworld", "ecology", "glass dome", "experiment", "food", "air", "sadism", "Saturn" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-04", "subject": "Science", "saga": "Rats will outlive humans.", "synopsis": "Ratbert is no longer concerned with pollution because he knows rats will outlive humans.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "environment", "ecology", "pollution", "air", "hardy" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-05", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert comments he is more likely to survive environmental disaster.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "disaster", "rat", "survive", "ozone", "pollution" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-06", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Ratbert decides to conserve the human race.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "environment", "disaster", "pollution", "conservation", "pickle" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-07", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dilbert dislikes the television show he's watching.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "television", "trash", "eschew", "breath", "own world", "remote control" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-08", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "The engineers panic when an attractive woman is hired.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Liz", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "attractive woman syndrome", "AWS", "metabolism", "social skill", "turtle", "mask", "correction fluid" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-09", "subject": "Downsizing", "saga": "Downsizing contest between Dilbert and Zimbu.", "synopsis": "The Boss needs to cut staff but he doesn't know who to cut.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Zimbu" ], "keywords": [ "staff cut", "professional", "career", "valuable", "monkey", "pride" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-10", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to keep the engineer who projects the most professional image.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Zimbu" ], "keywords": [ "staff cut", "professional", "image", "stupid", "lay off", "rabbit ears" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-11", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The contest to see who gets downsized begins. The first event is the staple chase.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Zimbu" ], "keywords": [ "contest", "staple chase", "layoff", "stapler", "shoot", "pun" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-12", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The contest for the position continues with the second event: fun in a barrel.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Zimbu" ], "keywords": [ "contest", "layoff", "gullible", "fun", "barrel of monkeys", "humour", "creative" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-13", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Dilbert wins the contest against Zimbu and so keeps his job.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Zimbu" ], "keywords": [ "contest", "layoff", "management", "fast track", "banana", "flea", "victory jig" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says there are no stupid questions. He's wrong.", "characters": [ "Boss", "man", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "plan", "question", "stupid", "international date line", "answer", "present" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-15", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Ted doesn't understand from the Boss's lingo he's being downsized.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ted", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "right sizing", "management adjusted", "manager attrition", "raise", "flamethrower", "feedback", "positive", "fast track" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss tries to interpret a sound made by a senior VP.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "senior VP", "priority", "vision", "commitment", "context", "burrito", "signal", "demonstrate" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-17", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert presents himself as a psychic consultant.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "psychic", "read minds", "puce", "primary colour", "swami hat", "telepathy" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-18", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dogbert to read his boss's mind.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "psychic", "calendar", "read minds", "idiot", "swami hat", "telepathy", "fire" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-19", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert reads the employee's minds to find clues to improve morale.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "psychic", "morale", "Star Trek", "romance", "ski trip", "key chain", "logo", "swami hat", "telepathy" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-20", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert the psychic senses death from Wally's cubicle.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "psychic", "dead", "smell", "Heaven", "swami hat", "telepathy" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-21", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert gives Albert a shoulder massage.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Albert" ], "keywords": [ "male bonding", "shoulder massage", "team player", "Vulcan death grip" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-22", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert says humans are superior because they can kill any other animal.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "chipmunk" ], "keywords": [ "human", "superior", "chipmunk", "conclusion", "kill", "argue", "slaughter" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-23", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Dilbert teaches quality management in Elbonia.", "synopsis": "The Boss sends Dilbert to Elbonia to teach them quality.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "quality", "plant", "English", "hate", "experience" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-24", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert accompanies Dilbert to Elbonia as a bodyguard.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ratbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "trip", "bodyguard", "mud", "voice", "suitcase" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-25", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains what the word \"quality\" means.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Elbonian", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "quality", "good", "money", "consultant" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-26", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Dilbert says the first step in total quality is identifying the problem areas.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Yorgi", "Elbonian", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "quality", "problem area", "metric", "mitten", "stuck", "breathe", "total quality" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-27", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Dilbert traces the root cause of Elbonia: they're a nation of imbeciles.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Elbonian", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "quality", "root cause", "fishbone diagram", "imbecile", "club", "dead fish", "hat", "easel" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-28", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Manufacturing defects are down fifty percent because of Dilbert's quality management training.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Yorgi", "Elbonian", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "quality", "manufacturing defect", "production", "suitcase", "escape" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces Open Door Day for better communications once a month.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "communication", "open door", "whine", "morale", "profit", "stock options", "concern" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss has a stupid assignment for the first person to make eye contact.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Ted", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "assignment", "question", "eye contact", "mirror", "stupid" ] }, { "date": "1993-08-31", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert wonders at how much tax people pay.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "tax", "government", "vote", "constitution", "levy" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-01", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert announces his own tax. Dilbert must pay.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "tax", "unfair", "prison", "infrastructure", "form", "penalty" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-02", "subject": "Family", "saga": "Ratbert rides on Bob's shoulders.", "synopsis": "Ratbert wants to team up with Bob and pool their resources.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "team", "individual", "strength", "brain" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-03", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert believes he will get love by riding on Bob's head.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Bob", "passerby" ], "keywords": [ "dinosaur", "love", "zit", "pathetic", "defective" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-04", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert shouts warnings when danger approaches.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "symbiosis", "danger", "shout", "ozone", "consumer confidence", "tail" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-05", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert keeps a database of the stupid things Dilbert says.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Juan" ], "keywords": [ "file", "stupid", "page", "CD-ROM", "fetch", "slippers", "computer centre", "overtime" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss loves temporary employees because they're easy to get rid of.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "temporary worker", "benefit", "union", "dumpster", "flush" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-07", "subject": "Productivity", "synopsis": "Dilbert taunts a contract worker for having to be super-productive.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "contract employee" ], "keywords": [ "temp", "contract", "productive", "excite", "survival", "result", "marketing", "requirement" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-08", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "A marketing guy complains the engineers have done nothing on his project.", "characters": [ "marketing guy", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "project", "requirement", "career", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-09", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert wants respect so he sings Barry Manilow songs while slapping himself.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "respect", "talent", "Barry Manilow", "sing", "slap", "enjoy", "disturb", "Copacabana" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-10", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert gets his own TV cable channel and Dogbert explains his show.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Ratbert", "TV-watchers" ], "keywords": [ "cable television", "Barry Manilow", "camcorder", "television camera", "program", "couch potato" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-11", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert catches Ratbert hot-tubbing in the spaghetti pot.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "cook", "spaghetti", "hot tub", "pot", "caper", "apron" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss tortures Nervous Ed by giving him a special assignment.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Nervous Ed", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "special assignment", "project", "empowerment", "panic", "cubicle", "kiss of death" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-13", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The Boss welcomes people to the four hour meeting from hell.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "meeting from hell" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-14", "subject": "Consultant", "saga": "Dogbert, blame consultant.", "synopsis": "Dogbert the \"Blame Consultant\" pitches his services to the Boss.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "blame", "fault", "management fad" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-15", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Dogbert blames Willy for the company's problems.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Willy" ], "keywords": [ "blame", "type", "word processor", "product", "innovate", "pioneer", "market" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-16", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Dogbert says Wally is to blame for the company's problems.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "blame", "personal gain", "plaque", "plastic frame", "reward", "fault", "success" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-17", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Dogbert presents a consulting report bulked up by witty analogies to the Boss.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "report", "insight", "analogy", "pointy", "dust bunny", "hinder" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-18", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dogbert marvels at the brain's ability to coordinate millions of activities each second.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "brain", "coordinate", "confusion", "neuron", "conversation", "listener", "random" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-19", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "The Boss will be cryogenically frozen just before death.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "cryogenics", "frozen", "death", "coat", "long underwear", "space heater", "future generations" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-20", "subject": "Presentation", "saga": "Dilbert's laser pointer at maximum strength.", "synopsis": "Dilbert increases the power to his laser pointer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "technology", "laser pointer", "boost", "phaser", "rool", "power", "telephone", "alien", "lightsabre" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-21", "subject": "Presentation", "synopsis": "Dilbert's laser pointer is stronger than he expected.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "technology", "laser pointer", "burn", "hair", "revenge", "lightsabre" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-22", "subject": "Presentation", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Dogbert how his laser pointer got set to maximum power.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "technology", "laser pointer", "power", "humour", "waste", "temp", "lightsabre", "maximum" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-23", "subject": "Law", "saga": "Dilbert is arrested for killing a temp.", "synopsis": "Dilbert is in jail for accidentally killing a temp with his laser pointer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "jail", "victim", "temp", "jury", "peer" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-24", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dogbert defends Dilbert in a court for accidentally killing a temp worker.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "judge" ], "keywords": [ "court", "trial", "innocent", "temp", "fair", "kill", "murder", "gavel", "jury" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-25", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dogbert says Dilbert is an engineer savant, and therefore not aware of killing the temp.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "court", "trial", "temp", "insanity", "engineer savant", "socks", "jury", "technology", "evidence", "writing tool", "pen" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-26", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dogbert enjoys his walks with Dilbert, but not for Dilbert's intellectual stimulation.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "conversation", "wit", "intellectual", "lightning", "witty", "shock" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-27", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dilbert is found innocent of killing the temp.", "characters": [ "jury foreman", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "trial", "verdict", "clueless", "innocent", "insult", "win-win", "jury", "friend" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-28", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A co-worker tells Dilbert about a lucrative job offer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "job offer", "pay", "masseuse", "casual", "beer", "pizza", "competitor", "dating" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-29", "subject": "Inequity", "synopsis": "A co-worker brags on his new job, with more possessions.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "pony", "cubicle", "reward", "office" ] }, { "date": "1993-09-30", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert is envious of his co-worker getting a better job.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "envy", "jealousy", "sad", "list", "birthmark", "spider" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss gives a \"recognition fuzzy\" to Dilbert for good work.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "award", "recognition fuzzy", "project", "morale", "lint", "jealousy" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-02", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert bores his date with a technical story to the point of murder.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "waiter", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "boring story", "scope", "layer three protocol", "D-Channel packet addressing", "suicide", "recalibrate", "restaurant", "Wine", "knife", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-03", "subject": "Administration", "synopsis": "The bureaucracy proves too much for Dilbert as he tries to upgrade his computer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "troll", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "computer", "budget", "law", "review", "demon", "buttock", "business case", "bid", "quality audit", "signature", "vendor", "committee", "accounting", "inventory", "economy" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-04", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert's empire.", "synopsis": "Dogbert shouts his way into a job.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "shout", "loud", "hire", "entry level", "promotion", "trend", "raise", "nameplate", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-05", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert has a job and a raise, now he goes after an office by shouting.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "employee" ], "keywords": [ "shout", "loud", "office", "frame", "pack", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-06", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert, with a corner office, now goes after an empire.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "shout", "loud", "empire", "corner office", "task force", "buzzword", "palmtop personal multimedia" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-07", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dogbert welcomes the volunteers for his task force on palmtop personal multimedia.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "task force", "palmtop personal multimedia", "resume", "future", "mother lode", "volunteer", "vision", "project" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-08", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert demands the Boss transfer budget to him.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "empire", "budget", "volunteer", "team player", "task force", "transfer", "signature" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-09", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The company president is impressed by Dogbert's rise to power.", "characters": [ "president", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "power", "executive", "hair", "toupee" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-10", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Chuck, Dilbert's high school nemesis, brags about his car and girlfriend.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Chuck", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "rival", "nemesis", "high school", "Corvette", "race", "smart", "aerobics", "Adam's apple", "nerdmobile", "cross-dresser", "transvestite" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dogbert states in an emergency board meeting promotions to senior management are based on hair.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "emergency board meeting", "promotion", "senior management", "hair", "toupee" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-12", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert, company president.", "synopsis": "Dogbert becomes the new company president because he has the best hair.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "board member" ], "keywords": [ "promote", "president", "motion", "cafeteria", "helicopter pad", "trap door", "flush" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "A disgruntled employee makes demands to company president Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "disgruntled employee" ], "keywords": [ "president", "complain", "parking space", "flush", "disgruntled" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-14", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dogbert makes some short-sighted spending cuts to increase his earnings.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "president", "money", "spending cuts", "short-sighted", "stock price", "stock options", "business trip", "compare" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-15", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dogbert gloats about how much money he's saved and wants to exercise his stock options.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "farmer" ], "keywords": [ "president", "business trip", "one way", "stock options", "media", "leak", "farm", "strategy", "Iowa", "gun" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-16", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert quits as company president and becomes a philanthropist.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "president", "quit", "fortune", "stock options", "retire", "philanthropy", "beg", "building" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to refund part of his salary because he worked below his full potential.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "potential", "refund", "salary", "process", "Tetris", "time saver", "clarify" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-18", "subject": "Overwork", "synopsis": "The Boss brags he can double the employees' workload and there's nothing they can do about it.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "workload", "luck", "economy", "job", "promotion", "camera" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-19", "subject": "Overwork", "synopsis": "The Boss complains Alice is spending time with her family when she could be working.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "family", "work", "pay", "house" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-20", "subject": "Overwork", "synopsis": "Alice complains she deserves some time with her family.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "family", "long hours", "lifeless nineties" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-21", "subject": "Overwork", "synopsis": "Alice complains to the Boss she works too many hours and doesn't spend enough time with her family.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "overwork", "family time", "the company cares", "brochure", "celibacy", "adoption" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-22", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert is nothing, Dogbert says.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "derogatory", "fool", "speed reading", "self-help", "book", "warning label", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-23", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "How many blonds does it take to change a tire?", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "blond", "joke", "flat tire", "car jack", "diaper" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-24", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "A security guard says how safe the office is from thieves.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "security guard", "janitor" ], "keywords": [ "guard", "shopping mall", "store", "merchandise", "snack drawer", "shoes" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert does his timesheet in fifteen minute increments.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "time report", "project", "status", "jeopardy list", "budget", "accomplishment" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-26", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for volunteers to join a task force on productivity.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "unproductive", "task force", "volunteer", "cut costs" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-27", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert doesn't know if he's left-handed or right-handed.", "characters": [ "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "left-handed", "right-handed", "ball", "catch", "awkward", "pillow" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-28", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert shouldn't worry about being awkward. Lots of people are, but lead happy lives, Dogbert says.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "awkward", "computer skills", "happy", "homely", "dull" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-29", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Garbageman fishes a bad idea out of Dilbert's garbage.", "characters": [ "Garbageman", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "garbage", "idea", "first draft", "spell checker" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-30", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Garbageman improves upon Dilbert's designs.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Garbageman" ], "keywords": [ "garbage", "suggestion", "design", "feedback", "paper boy" ] }, { "date": "1993-10-31", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't think the waitress will get his order right.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "waitress", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "restaurant", "order", "paper trail", "complaint", "demonic hatred", "menu" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss shows off the new sleeping tubes.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Japan", "sleeping tube", "commute", "personal", "employee of the week", "exhaustion" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-02", "subject": "Overwork", "synopsis": "The Boss warns the meeting about karoshi and suggests a remedy.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "karoshi", "work", "death" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-03", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert says he feels love and respect from the family.", "characters": [ "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "love", "respect", "cheese", "trap", "prejudice" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-04", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert wants to be taken for a walk. The strip asks for a vote for whether Ratbert should be hit with a rolled up magazine.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "walk", "exercise", "rolled up magazine", "vote", "leech" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-05", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert reports a deluge of e-mail about voting for whether to hit Ratbert with a magazine.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "vote", "e-mail", "deluge", "rolled up magazine", "hit", "power tool", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-06", "subject": "Family", "note": "Resolved in 1993-11-29.", "synopsis": "Ratbert will be whacked with a magazine if the strip readers vote for it.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ratbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "vote", "e-mail", "rolled up magazine", "fate", "cruelty", "visual appeal" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-07", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "Dogbert writes to the president of the USA with few suggestions on how to run the country.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "president", "e-mail", "executive order", "moral", "Ross Perot", "Bill Clinton", "George Clinton" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-08", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss revels in his exemption from the obligation to make coffee.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "coffee maker", "coffee pot" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-09", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "The Boss discovers there's a difference between Unix and eunuchs.", "note": "This strip is #1 on Scott's list of 10 favourite strips.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "eunuch", "Unix", "nurse" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-10", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Fire walking.", "synopsis": "The engineers will be going on a seminar to build confidence: fire walking.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "seminar", "fire walking", "confidence", "barefoot", "burning coals", "injury", "cost", "expensive" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally volunteers to fire walk first.", "characters": [ "instructor", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "seminar", "fire walking", "barefoot", "burning coals", "alcohol", "aftershave" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert goes fire walking next.", "characters": [ "instructor", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "seminar", "fire walking", "barefoot", "burning coals", "confidence", "socks" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-13", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert survived the fire walking with asbestos socks.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "seminar", "fire walking", "barefoot", "burning coals", "asbestos", "socks" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-14", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "Dilbert reviews his accomplishments at his performance review. There's nothing concrete mentioned.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "accomplishment", "sarcasm", "empowerment", "paradigm", "quality", "customer", "proactive", "chaos", "change" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-15", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "A man says hello to Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "walk", "hello", "suffer", "fool", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-16", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants a phaser to zap the fools he meets.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "fool", "phaser", "zap", "lethal", "scream", "society", "gizmo", "tool", "twitch", "fun" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-17", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert complains he doesn't have a phaser to zap fools.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Garbageman" ], "keywords": [ "fool", "zap", "moral", "phaser", "justice", "academic", "trashcan", "fun" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-18", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert zaps a fools with a phaser.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "fool" ], "keywords": [ "fool", "zap", "phaser", "smile", "muscle", "injury" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-19", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert, phaser in hand, goes to see the traffic reporter.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "idiot" ], "keywords": [ "fool", "zap", "phaser", "traffic reports", "sequel", "injury" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-20", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert returns the Garbageman's phaser.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Garbageman" ], "keywords": [ "fool", "zap", "phaser", "anger", "smile", "wag", "trashcan", "battery" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-21", "subject": "Sports", "synopsis": "Dogbert shows off his moves in basketball.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "basketball", "hover", "Michael Jordan", "virtual reality", "hang time", "dunk" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-22", "subject": "Corporate Services", "saga": "Secretary with a crossbow.", "synopsis": "The secretary chafes at making copies.", "characters": [ "secretary", "executive" ], "keywords": [ "photocopy", "crossbow", "ivy league" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-23", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "The secretary with a crossbow asks Russell to answer his own phone.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Russell" ], "keywords": [ "crossbow", "telephone", "chat", "job satisfaction" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-24", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "A manager wants to slip in front of the secretary with a crossbow at the photocopier.", "characters": [ "Carol", "manager" ], "keywords": [ "crossbow", "photocopier", "time", "sting" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-25", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "The secretary with a crossbow goes hunting.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "crossbow", "hunt", "whale", "Moby Dick", "capsize", "desk" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-26", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert believes verbal abuse will allow him to bond with Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "bond", "abuse", "insult", "idiot", "verbal", "best friend", "friendship" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-27", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert introduces his ego to a woman.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's ego" ], "keywords": [ "bar", "introduction", "splash", "drink", "sparkling water", "alcohol", "worship" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-28", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "The airlines are cutting back on frills -- like meals, snacks and drinks.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "flight attendant" ], "keywords": [ "flight", "airplane", "meal", "snack", "frill", "peanuts", "soda", "belch", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-29", "subject": "Family", "note": "Continued from 1993-11-06. The margin says \"57% = spared.\"", "synopsis": "The votes are in. Ratbert is spared from being whacked with a magazine.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Bob", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "vote", "e-mail", "rolled up magazine", "random cruelty", "wedgie", "social context" ] }, { "date": "1993-11-30", "subject": "Professional", "saga": "Dilbert the mentor.", "synopsis": "Dilbert becomes a mentor for a new engineering graduate.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Matt" ], "keywords": [ "mentor", "new employee", "spirit", "bet", "crush" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-01", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Dilbert takes Matt to a meeting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Matt" ], "keywords": [ "mentor", "meeting", "talk", "assignment" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-02", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows Matt his computer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Matt" ], "keywords": [ "mentor", "technical training", "mouse", "inconvenient" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-03", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert wins the bid for the new corporate fitness program.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "bid", "corporate fitness program", "aerobics", "laugh", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-04", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "The engineers do aerobics.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "corporate fitness program", "aerobics", "skeptic" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-05", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Wally wants Dilbert to take over his project while he's on vacation in Aruba.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "vacation", "Aruba", "deliverable", "waiter", "career", "coincidence" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-06", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert needs a replacement chair because his is broken. The warehouse only has manager chairs.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "warehouse clerk" ], "keywords": [ "chair", "warehouse", "manager", "promotion", "armrest" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-07", "subject": "Empowerment", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to use empowerment to get a chair above his station.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "chair", "authority", "warehouse", "engineer", "cubicle" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-08", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert takes a chair from another cubicle because his is broken.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Phil" ], "keywords": [ "chair", "steal", "heck", "elevator", "walkie-talkie" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-09", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Phil, prince of insufficient light, sentences Dilbert for stealing a chair.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Phil", "Ed" ], "keywords": [ "chair", "steal", "heck", "demon", "troll", "accountant", "summon" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-10", "subject": "Accounting", "synopsis": "Dilbert is sentenced by Phil to lunch in Accounting for stealing a chair.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Phil", "accountant" ], "keywords": [ "chair", "penalty", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-11", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert writes a short story for people with little patience.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "author", "short story", "patience", "sequel", "blah", "pillow", "commercial success" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-12", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dogbert shows how to deal with personality defects.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Todd", "Allen", "Virginia", "Matt", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "personality defect", "laugh", "nervous", "zombie", "chatter", "boring", "seal", "cubicle" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-13", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Stan lies openly to a customer about tech specs, Dilbert can't counter him.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Stan", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "Star Trek", "RAM", "beam me up", "Spock", "tachyon field emissions" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-14", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Stan defends himself when Dilbert says he lied to the customer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Stan" ], "keywords": [ "karate", "promise", "engineer", "deliver", "class" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-15", "subject": "Fashion", "saga": "Clothes in a can.", "synopsis": "Dilbert fits a change of clothes into a Pringles can.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "clothes", "Pringles", "fabric" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-16", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Dilbert finds a name for his tubular luggage.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "clothes", "Pringles", "Dorkage", "tubular luggage", "target market", "invention" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-17", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Dilbert's clothes are wrinkled from being in a can.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "clothes", "Pringles", "wrinkle", "tubular luggage", "reject" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-18", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert pastes pictures of himself into Dilbert's photo album.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "photo", "album", "baby", "ugly", "bad", "mother" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-19", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert invents a time machine and wants to use it for garbage disposal.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "trash", "garbage", "time machine", "explore", "recycle", "decompose", "tool" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-20", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert presents a list of Christmas demands to Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Christmas", "demand", "hostage", "life support", "Santa", "list", "instruction" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-21", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert gives Ratbert a list of Christmas demands. All items can be shoplifted.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "Christmas", "demand", "shoplift", "valet", "pencil", "steal", "list" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-22", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "At Christmas, it's better to give than receive, Dogbert tells Bob.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "Christmas", "better to give than receive", "income", "wedgie", "season", "coin" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-23", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert is worried he doesn't have enough Christmas gifts.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Christmas", "present", "gift", "run away", "psychology", "dead", "snow bank" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-24", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert pressures Dilbert to do more Christmas shopping.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Christmas", "present", "gift", "shop", "guilt", "doubt", "hype" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-25", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "It's Christmas day. Dilbert, Dogbert and Ratbert exchange gifts. Dilbert welcomes Ratbert to the family.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "Christmas", "present", "guilt", "welcome", "allowance", "bathrobe", "tree", "gift" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-26", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date can't stop talking about her old boyfriend.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date", "Jack" ], "keywords": [ "restaurant", "old boyfriend", "coma", "funny", "handsome", "luck" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-27", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert plans world conquest.", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants a world map for his war room.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "map store clerk" ], "keywords": [ "map", "store", "retail", "war room", "ambassador", "France", "air sick", "diplomatic immunity" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-28", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert plans his world conquest.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "war room", "conquest", "sneeze", "brain cell", "election day", "map", "part ticket" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-29", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert says he'll name a city after Ratbert.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "conquest", "Pittsburgh", "Yoo Hoo", "city" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-30", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert calculates which world takeover scheme would cause the least losses.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "army", "religion", "lawyer", "conquer", "spreadsheet", "student" ] }, { "date": "1993-12-31", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert gets people to sign a petition to be world leader.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "petition", "hunger", "conquest", "law", "boilerplate", "establishment", "monarchy" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-01", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dogbert films Dilbert in a passionate embrace.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "dating", "embrace", "kiss", "video", "camera", "worry", "camcorder" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-02", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "The Garbageman explains reality to Ratbert.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Garbageman" ], "keywords": [ "reality", "blank slate", "time", "illusion", "perceive", "experience", "VCR", "video", "trashcan", "motion", "brain" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-03", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "The Boss transfers Dave to Marketing but there's no budget for training.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dave" ], "keywords": [ "transfer", "training", "budget", "slap", "drink", "temporary fix" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-04", "subject": "Inequity", "synopsis": "The Boss explains the new upside-down org-chart concept.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "organisation chart", "pay", "important" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss explains the company is flattening the organisation.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "organisation chart", "flatten the organisation", "promotion", "raise", "job title", "Beverly" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss's brain functions are portrayed.", "characters": [ "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "brain", "cost-cutting", "profit", "sales", "ink", "pen" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss reads out the announcement of Tim leaving the company.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "footnote", "announcement", "opportunity", "regret", "medication", "reading between the lines" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-08", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "The company trims travel budgets. A cannon is involved.", "characters": [ "man" ], "keywords": [ "travel", "budget", "crash helmet", "briefcase", "cannon", "bus fare", "meeting" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-09", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to find a girlfriend using an engineering project approach.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "girlfriend", "personal life", "alternative", "attractive", "ratio", "buying power", "baboon", "stupid", "face transplant", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-10", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The new employee tells the truth in a project update at a meeting.", "characters": [ "Boss", "employee", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "project", "random", "desperation", "update", "emotion", "bug" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-11", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A clique of young, funny and single people is forming in the department.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "clique", "youth", "humour", "single", "drink", "ski trip", "romance", "work" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-12", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert bores a co-worker by explaining something already known.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "explanation", "conversation", "nod", "body language", "Velcro", "oxygen", "brain", "escape" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-13", "subject": "Investment", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks Dilbert to invest in his \"Dogbert's Reincarnation Investment Fund.\"", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert's Reincarnation Investment Fund", "compound interest", "cow", "milk", "brochure" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-14", "subject": "Investment", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks a hippie to invest in his reincarnation fund.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "hippie" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert's Reincarnation Investment Fund", "rich", "van", "music", "soul", "muscle" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-15", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert advises an investor with a low liquidity to stupidity ratio.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "investor" ], "keywords": [ "liquidity", "stupid", "Dogbert's Reincarnation Investment Fund", "qualify", "ratio", "brain" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-16", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows off his \"stealth business suit\" that cancels sounds, resists sticky notes and prevents phone calls and pages.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "stealth business suit", "sound dampers", "yellow sticky note", "telephone", "pager", "lead", "Sunday" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-17", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for permission to keep a plastic plant in his cubicle.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "cubicle cop" ], "keywords": [ "Cubicle Gestapo", "plastic", "plant", "bug", "smart", "permission" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-18", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert decides to put a plant in his cubicle anyway.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Cubicle Gestapo", "plastic plant", "rebel", "antiperspirant", "body odour" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-19", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert synthesises some pheromones.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "synthesise", "pheromone", "irresistible", "self-love", "test tube", "chemical" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-20", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert wears some pheromones on a date.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "pheromone", "irresistible", "flirt", "attraction", "restaurant", "mace", "bribe", "wine" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-21", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's pheromone cologne fries women's brains.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "pheromone", "aerobics" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-22", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dogbert advises Dilbert opposites attract and he should find an opposite.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "opposites", "drawing-power", "beautiful", "stimulate", "pose" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-23", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert dropped his cell phone in the john.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "cell phone", "pager", "john", "replace", "writing tool", "glasses", "toilet" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-24", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Elbonian division won the bid to launch French satellites into orbit.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "bid", "launch", "satellite", "orbit", "France", "slingshot", "expensive" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-25", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert takes charge of the satellite launching in Elbonia.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "satellite", "launch", "France", "slingshot", "embassy", "war" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-26", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert reports on the status of the Elbonian satellite launching program.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "satellite", "France", "war", "project", "status", "emphasise the positive", "headcount", "trend" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-27", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "The French bomb Elbonia.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "war", "Elbonia", "France", "bomb", "scare", "sting", "hat", "nupe" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-28", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "Elbonia's war with France is suddenly over.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "war", "Elbonia", "France", "bomb", "GNP", "scrap", "champagne", "snail", "escargot", "embassy", "megaphone" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-29", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert gives himself as an example of happiness because he is clueless.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "clueless", "naked", "annoy" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-30", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert helps preserve spotted chipmunks.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "Spotted Chipmunk Preservation Society", "tranquilise", "tree", "dart", "newsletter", "dead chipmunk joke", "humour", "tranquiliser gun" ] }, { "date": "1994-01-31", "subject": "Technology", "saga": "First appearance of Saint Dogbert.", "synopsis": "Dogbert becomes Saint Dogbert to drive out demons of stupidity.", "characters": [ "Saint Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "patron saint", "broken", "stupid", "paw", "demons of stupidity", "spiritual", "bishop hat", "sceptre" ] }, { "date": "1994-02-01", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "St. Dogbert exorcises the demons of stupidity from a software developer.", "characters": [ "Saint Dogbert", "developer" ], "keywords": [ "stupid", "demon", "bishop hat", "sceptre", "command.com" ] }, { "date": "1994-02-02", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Saint Dogbert gets rid of the Boss's demons of stupidity.", "characters": [ "Saint Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "demons of stupidity", "command", "be gone", "suit", "bishop hat", "sceptre" ] }, { "date": "1994-02-03", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "A clip-out image of Saint Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Saint Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "demons of stupidity", "clip", "image", "protect", "out out", "bishop hat", "sceptre", "scissors" ] }, { "date": "1994-02-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss turns into a black hole.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "C", "grade", "computer language", "black hole", "gravity", "idea", "escape" ] }, { "date": "1994-02-05", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets a 3-D stereo and high definition television.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "3-D", "stereo", "sound", "HDTV", "television", "life", "video", "surround sound speakers", "close" ] }, { "date": "1994-02-06", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert figures out how to get a report to another person.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "fax", "modem", "computer", "software", "upgrade", "e-mail", "copier", "toner", "printer", "hold", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1994-02-07", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "The Boss gives out details on the casual dress policy.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "casual", "dress code", "guidelines", "shorts", "tank top", "t-shirt", "jeans", "sneakers", "sandals", "morale", "underwear" ] }, { "date": "1994-02-08", "subject": "Empowerment", "synopsis": "The Boss announces casual Fridays; Wally and Dilbert are terrified.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "casual", "Friday", "fashion", "scrutiny", "paranimals", "Sears" ] }, { "date": "1994-02-09", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "The Boss criticises the engineers' dress sense on casual day.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "casual", "dress", "engineer", "taste", "bell bottoms" ] }, { "date": "1994-02-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for ideas to delight the customers.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "delight", "customer", "price", "meeting", "waste", "money", "fire" ] }, { "date": "1994-02-11", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert says he's so cute he could get away with murder.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cute", "nose", "ear", "tail", "looks", "murder", "hit man", "mob" ] }, { "date": "1994-02-12", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert creates a \"Baby Dogbert\" ceramic figurine.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cute", "profit", "ceramic", "Baby Dogbert", "figurine", "vomit", "focus group" ] }, { "date": "1994-02-13", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dogbert complains about being called insensitive.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "joke", "funny", "insensitive", "feeling", "gender", "race", "lifestyle", "body" ] }, { "date": "1994-02-14", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Wally and Dilbert abuse a guy from marketing with fearsome technobabble.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "marketing guy" ], "keywords": [ "fear", "technobabble", "multiplexer", "space", "meeting" ] }, { "date": "1994-02-15", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't want to spend his life trying to please others.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "please", "fool", "crush", "thought", "threat" ] }, { "date": "1994-02-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to set priorities. Carol has other plans.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "leader", "priority", "calendar", "yahoo", "appointment" ] }, { "date": "1994-02-17", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally says it's better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "forgiveness", "permission", "risk", "moot", "reorganisation", "stupid", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1994-02-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says it's his job to make resources available to employees.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "resource", "job", "money", "project", "calendar", "unavailable" ] }, { "date": "1994-02-19", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert revels in his super workstation and feels a song coming on.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "happiest people", "monitor", "RAM", "gigabytes", "hard disk", "song", "sing" ] }, { "date": "1994-02-20", "subject": "Product", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Marketing what they want in the new product.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "marketing guy" ], "keywords": [ "design", "marketing", "screen", "wallet", "purse", "satellite", "air freshener", "teeth", "screen saver", "communication", "disease", "time travel", "telepathic user interface" ] }, { "date": "1994-02-21", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Layoffs are handled in a humane way, the Boss says as a victim gets shot with a tranquiliser dart.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "hunter" ], "keywords": [ "layoff", "humane", "tranquilise", "dart", "unemployment office", "tranquiliser gun" ] }, { "date": "1994-02-22", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally distributes cards for \"Buzzword Bingo.\"", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "buzzword", "bingo", "objectives", "attentive", "proactive" ] }, { "date": "1994-02-23", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Nobody wants to bring anything to the potluck lunch.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "potluck", "lunch", "ice", "salt", "beverage", "mineral water" ] }, { "date": "1994-02-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Wally describe the Boss in glowing terms.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "glowing terms", "flame", "idiot", "dynamite" ] }, { "date": "1994-02-25", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains the Boss has eliminated the technical training budget.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "training", "hair" ] }, { "date": "1994-02-26", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "Wally and Dilbert provide predictions of disaster if their projects are cut.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Susan" ], "keywords": [ "project", "locusts", "world", "spin", "space" ] }, { "date": "1994-02-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets a locator device -- a dog collar.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "collar", "extension cord", "leash", "humiliate", "conformance", "efficiency", "locator", "restroom", "monitor", "track", "gerbil", "rationalise" ] }, { "date": "1994-02-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert is put in charge of the re-engineering project.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "re-engineer", "bandwagon", "support", "Hell" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-01", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Dilbert re-engineers.", "synopsis": "The Boss says it's simple to re-engineer. Just talk to the employees who would be fired.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "re-engineer", "fire", "data", "business process", "flying monkey", "design", "question", "success" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-02", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to be a re-engineering consultant because he would be objective about downsizing.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "re-engineer", "consultant", "objective", "downsize", "attitude", "robe", "cherub" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert recommends re-engineering the business process. It does not go well.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "report", "recommend", "re-engineer", "business process", "cough", "skull" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-04", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "In the last election, Dogbert convinced Dilbert not to vote.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "election", "vote", "disagree" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-05", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "Dogbert warns Dilbert his technical degree is obsolete in five years.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "obsolete", "doohickey", "magazine", "newspaper", "degree" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains how to get rid of deadbeats and whiners in a group.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "reorganise", "deadbeat", "whine", "project", "competent", "performance review", "competition", "teamwork", "success", "subgroup", "transfer" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-07", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "The Marketing department is the Engineering department's customer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Fred", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "department", "customer", "feasibility study", "boss", "work" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-08", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "The Boss wants the budget analyst to decide which engineering projects to cut.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Susan" ], "keywords": [ "ignorance", "strategy", "engineer", "intelligent", "choice" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-09", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The Boss claims the value of the average employee will increase.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "value" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-10", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss announces there will be no promotions or raises this year.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "raise", "inflation", "uncertain", "manager", "leader", "mathematical certainty" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-11", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells the Boss that without raises, the smart people will leave.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "raise", "quit", "potluck", "engineer", "headcount" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-12", "subject": "Benefits", "synopsis": "Dilbert calculates their worth at retirement if they get no raises.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "inflation", "retire", "aluminum can", "shopping cart", "net worth" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-13", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains how to politely let somebody know they're babbling.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "body language", "babble", "watch", "smash", "daily planner", "polite", "Heimlich Manoeuvre", "Kevorkian Dodge", "wristwatch", "surrender", "Heimlich Manoeuvre" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss reorganises -- again -- to help floundering projects.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "project", "strategy", "reorganise", "bold" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss creates a new layer of management and hires an MBA for it.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Richard" ], "keywords": [ "MBA", "Harfurd", "rabbit ears" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for a name for the reorganised department.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "reorganise", "name", "food service", "procurement", "chips and dips", "engineer", "ambition", "unled" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss has a whole new take on reorganisation that involves body parts.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "reorganisation", "liver", "transplant", "body part diagram", "anatomy", "accounting" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-18", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally thinks reorganisations are excuses for getting rid of some employees.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "organ donor", "reorganise", "downsize", "shoulder", "form" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-19", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces a major reorganisation to Susan, building to real bad news.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Susan" ], "keywords": [ "reorganisation", "budget", "fire", "bad news" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-20", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Wally looks forward to retirement -- fixed income and health problems.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "retire", "fixed income", "health", "wrinkle", "complain", "pre-meeting", "survive", "productivity" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-21", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Cheryl for lunch next week.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Cheryl" ], "keywords": [ "lunch", "hungry", "turn down", "reject" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-22", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "A woman turns down lunch with Dilbert because she's dead.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "lunch", "dead", "spasm", "stiff", "hand truck" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-23", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Lisa out for dinner but she's washing her hair.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Lisa" ], "keywords": [ "dinner", "wash", "hair", "coffee", "clean" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-24", "subject": "Y2K", "saga": "Dogbert the prophet predicts the end of the world in the year 2000.", "synopsis": "Dogbert the prophet says the world will end in the year 2000.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "doomsday", "prophet", "logic", "world will end", "round number", "gullible", "swami hat" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-25", "subject": "Y2K", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains why the world will end in the year 2000 -- round numbers.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "world will end", "round number", "predict", "mobile home", "anxiety", "swami hat", "creator", "universe", "base ten" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-26", "subject": "Y2K", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks a moron for his money, to prepare for the year 2000.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "moron" ], "keywords": [ "world will end", "money", "evil", "bank", "deductible", "piggy bank", "savings", "swami hat" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-27", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets performance anxiety at the automated teller machine.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "ATM", "bank", "impatient", "Mandarin Chinese", "United Way", "Visine", "performance anxiety", "glare" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-28", "subject": "Science", "saga": "Zimbu has an advantage using the computer -- a tail.", "synopsis": "Wally and Dilbert are jealous Zimbu designs commercial products so fast.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Zimbu" ], "keywords": [ "product", "design", "secret", "mouse", "tail", "cut and paste", "evolution", "advantage" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-29", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "The Boss is impressed Zimbu can design products with his tail.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Zimbu" ], "keywords": [ "product", "evolution", "tail", "mouse", "design", "disk drive", "security software" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-30", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert says if tails were an advantage, then people would have them.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Zimbu", "Boss", "Rocky" ], "keywords": [ "tail", "mouse", "evolution", "C programmer", "squirrel", "whiskers", "buck teeth" ] }, { "date": "1994-03-31", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Zimbu explains why tails are an advantage to use the mouse.", "characters": [ "Zimbu", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "tail", "mouse", "evolution", "Darwin", "species", "extinct" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-01", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Zimbu claims humans will allow themselves to be kept in cages as pets.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Zimbu" ], "keywords": [ "monkey", "cage", "cubicle", "pet" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-02", "subject": "Vegetarian", "synopsis": "Bob insists he is a vegetarian.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "chicken", "vegetable", "fish", "clam", "threat" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-03", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "Wally's performance review will be excellent if he eats a bug, the Boss says.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "bug", "technique", "motivate", "bun", "management" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-04", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Dilbert wants to be a manager.", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to get ahead, so he must follow in the Boss's footsteps.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "promotion", "footsteps", "lobotomy", "quality", "training" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "As part of his management training, Dilbert wears a waste basket on his head.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "office politics", "promotion", "waste basket" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-06", "subject": "Personal", "note": "Title strip for \"Big Things are Coming My Way.\"", "synopsis": "Dogbert advises Dilbert to badmouth co-workers to make himself look better.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Lisa" ], "keywords": [ "Bad Thing", "office chair", "doughnut", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-07", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert invites the Boss and his wife to dinner.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Boss's wife" ], "keywords": [ "promotion", "dinner party", "cook", "gourmet", "disease", "crash dummy" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-08", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert sells value priced lottery tickets.", "characters": [ "man", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "lottery", "ticket", "value priced", "odds of winning" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-09", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Ratbert buys a value priced lottery ticket from Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "lottery", "ticket", "value priced", "wealth", "luck", "luck", "hedonist" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-10", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Dogbert thinks everyone should have their weapon of choice.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "gun", "weapon", "NRA", "Charlton Heston", "bazooka", "rocket", "ammunition" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-11", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "A salesman hawks a device conforming to international standards for communications.", "characters": [ "sales rep", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "standards", "communication", "experience", "telephone", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss actually hires a weasel to write weasel-words for a business case.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "weasel" ], "keywords": [ "weasel", "business case", "mink" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "A weasel translates Dilbert's situation into weasel words.", "characters": [ "weasel", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "project", "business case", "vendor", "cost-justify", "ethics" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-14", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to ship the latest project to customers for beta testing.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Project Dewdrop", "Project Ducky", "explosion", "customer", "beta test", "PC board", "tool" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-15", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The beta test must be delayed since the product keeps exploding, Dilbert tells the Boss.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "beta test", "trial", "explode", "pessimist", "non-disclosure agreement", "NDA", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-16", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Alice tells Dilbert she hates to take makeup off.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "makeup", "Tammy Faye", "bowling ball", "bowling alley" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-17", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss provides vision for the group and it's sugar and caffeine enhanced.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "vision", "sugar", "doughnut", "coffee", "servant", "laid off", "gardener", "blind" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-18", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert Static Network.", "synopsis": "The company bids for DSN, the company that provides static to blank channels.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "DSN", "static", "bid", "television", "Hollywood", "channel", "Dogbert Static Network", "sunglasses" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-19", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Dogbert he can't copyright static on television.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "DSN", "copyright", "television", "film", "library", "whistle", "static", "sunglasses" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-20", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "The Boss hears rivals are also bidding for control of the DSN.", "characters": [ "co-worker", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "DSN", "rival", "bid", "investment", "creativity", "consultant", "spend" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-21", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "Dogbert is offered sixty billion for the \"Dogbert Static Network.\"", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "executive" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert Static Network", "buy out", "stock", "mercury dime" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-22", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert is assigned to the takeover of DSN.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "takeover", "DSN", "downsize", "broadcast" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-23", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert plans to build an amusement park; but it's to amuse Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "amusement park", "blueprint", "wedgie", "maze", "restroom", "bathroom" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-24", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Wally is jealous of Dilbert's voice-controlled computer.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "envy", "voice control", "computer", "mouse", "colour printer", "swear", "delete" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-25", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert can't master the photocopier.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "photocopier", "reduce", "collate", "staple", "darken", "legal size", "paper", "copy", "thip crinkle and spoit" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-26", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss announces appliances will be given out instead of raises.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "appliance", "television", "refrigerator", "lava lamp", "mayonnaise" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-27", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss wants an upgrade for his computer.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "upgrade", "computer", "cardboard prop", "motherboard", "desk" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-28", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss dumps another \"Top Priority\" on Dilbert after neglecting it for weeks.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "priority" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-29", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "A guy wastes time at a Friday meeting.", "characters": [ "co-worker", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "fort", "Friday", "waste of time" ] }, { "date": "1994-04-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss ridicules Dilbert's notion of challenging a bad decision.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "bad decision", "career", "mixed signals", "necktie" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-01", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The engineers meet to discuss why the design process is slow.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "engineer" ], "keywords": [ "quality", "team", "design", "process", "cut", "status report", "efficiency", "computer", "root cause", "guess" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-02", "subject": "Meeting", "saga": "Staff meeting at Dilbert's house.", "synopsis": "Dilbert volunteers his house for the next all-day staff meeting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally", "Ross" ], "keywords": [ "staff meeting", "furniture", "bathroom", "restroom" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-03", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Dilbert hosts an all-day staff meeting at his house. Bad move.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "house", "fool", "staff meeting", "spill", "decor", "mayonnaise", "bathroom", "restroom" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-04", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Meeting at Dilbert's house ends. Guests leave. Dogbert gets revenge.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Ted", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "house", "spill", "mess", "staff meeting", "hovel", "bumper sticker" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-05", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks questions about product and gets the run-around.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "mystery product", "cost", "schedule", "psychic", "PDA" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-06", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally and Dilbert argue over whose user representative is the stupidest.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Tom" ], "keywords": [ "user representative", "wager", "scone", "Styrofoam", "cup", "paradigm" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-07", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Alice tries to get Dilbert to absorb her woes. His cologne saves him.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "coma", "cologne", "wedding ring", "IRS", "audit", "sexual harassment" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-08", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Bob gives wedgies to corporate idiots.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Dilbert", "Wally", "budget analyst", "marketing guy", "senior manager" ], "keywords": [ "wedgie", "project", "back-up system", "market segmentation", "delegate", "VP", "marketing", "improvement" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-09", "subject": "Consultant", "saga": "Consultant's brains strapped to torsos.", "synopsis": "Dogbert makes pitch to boss about his consultants' big brains.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "big brains", "liver", "carried away", "pitch meeting" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-10", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Dogbert preps Ratbert with unsatisfactory results.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "bad technique", "arrogant", "dysfunctional", "thinking" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-11", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Ratbert lays down the rules of the consultant game. Dilbert is not amused.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "brain", "liver", "project leader", "think", "career" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-12", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Ratbert thanks the engineers for doing their assignments.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "assignment", "report", "binder", "good word" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-13", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "The Boss discovers Ratbert's \"brain\" is a slab of liver.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert Consulting Company", "brain", "liver", "MBA", "Harvard", "debate" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-14", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Ratbert submits his consulting report to the boss. Fire everyone.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "report", "fire", "company directory", "time saver" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks after the engineers' families.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "family", "personal life", "job satisfaction", "intangible benefit", "salary", "divorce", "self-esteem", "technique", "overwork" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-16", "subject": "Management", "saga": "The TTP Project.", "synopsis": "Dilbert is put in charge of a fully funded project and must protect himself.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "project", "money", "fully funded", "brick", "suck up" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-17", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert holds a project kick-off meeting but does not disclose the purpose of the project.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "engineer" ], "keywords": [ "kickoff", "meeting", "purpose", "sabotage", "microchip" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to get Wally to join his TTP project. Wally turns him down.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "project", "team", "arch nemesis", "enemy", "rival" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-19", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert's positive attitude about his project meets a brick wall co-worker.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "project", "cooperation", "birdseed", "soap carving", "reputation", "success" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-20", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss wants an update on the TTP project. Dilbert blames Marketing.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "project", "marketing", "doom", "blame", "decision" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-21", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss informs Dilbert his project has changed, but won't tell him how.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "project", "voicemail", "knowledge" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-22", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "A project manager has a detailed project plan for review, but it gets in the way of actual work.", "characters": [ "project manager", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "project plan", "resource", "task", "dependency", "to be determined", "random number", "TBD", "estimate", "schedule", "delay" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-23", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert to call a meeting, but not to come himself.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "project", "calendar" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-24", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss critiques Dilbert's project status report.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "project", "criticism", "bungle", "clueless", "facilitated by", "delay" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-25", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss transfers Dilbert's funding to a project with a cooler acronym.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "funding", "acronym", "fulfil", "binder" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-26", "subject": "Technology", "saga": "Ratbert wants more recognition.", "synopsis": "Ratbert wants a piece of technology named in his honour.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "label", "scuzzy", "politically correct", "SCSI" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-27", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Ratbert wants to be referred to as a \"Rattus.\"", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "rattus", "diminutive", "community", "genus", "squeak" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-28", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert object to the term, 'rat'. Dogbert suggests alternatives.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "definition", "television", "pillow", "rattus" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-29", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Wally is promoted to director of a group about to be eliminated.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "promotion", "director", "quality", "fire", "executive director" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-30", "subject": "Society", "note": "Refers to the strip published on 1993-12-16.", "synopsis": "Dogbert reports Mr. Dork wrote a letter about the strip using the word \"Dorkage.\"", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "letter", "Mr. Dork", "Dorkage", "apology", "offend" ] }, { "date": "1994-05-31", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss decides Dilbert needs 'diversity sensitivity training'.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "diversity", "Midol", "women", "chick", "shop", "cry" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-01", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Wally discover Dogbert is teaching 'diversity sensitivity'.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "dumpy", "prejudice", "racist", "understand" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-02", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains the four basic personality groups.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "ugly", "cute", "smart", "stupid", "respect", "pigeonhole", "label" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-03", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Dogbert leads sensitivity training by telling men to imagine they are a woman.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally", "Ken" ], "keywords": [ "sensitivity exercise", "imagination", "popular", "dumb", "blouse", "woman", "smile" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-04", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The Boss is gleeful about his economic power over employees and taunts Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "leverage", "inflation", "promote", "opportunity", "downsize", "abuse" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-05", "subject": "Empowerment", "synopsis": "The Boss says all engineers are empowered to shut down the factory at any time for any reason.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "factory", "shutdown", "commercial", "ethics", "raise", "hostage", "ego", "endanger", "empower" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-06", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Bob's secretary offers Dilbert sarcasm.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "secretary" ], "keywords": [ "psychic powers", "doughnut" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-07", "subject": "Telecommuting", "synopsis": "The Boss is impressed by Video Conferencing and Dilbert's puppet.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "puppet", "bathrobe", "webcam", "video camera" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss thinks computer programming is easy.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "computer program", "program code", "typing", "spell", "colon" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-09", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The boss demands an impossibly short deadline for Dilbert's project.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "deadline", "status report", "overwork", "schedule" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-10", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Irv explains how his accounting computer code systems gives him power.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Irv" ], "keywords": [ "code", "money", "lunch", "spaghetti", "holy grail", "reward" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-11", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert wants to be smart, just like the Garbageman.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Garbageman" ], "keywords": [ "smart", "respect", "creativity", "talent", "burp", "trashcan", "love" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-12", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Ratbert describes why he is afraid of the information superhighway to a group of people.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "alcoholic" ], "keywords": [ "fear", "information superhighway", "type", "secretary", "toy", "deception", "alcoholics anonymous" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-13", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss brings Dilbert an urgent assignment.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "ageing", "crisis", "moot", "urgent" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-14", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The Boss explains the lunch time stress reduction talks was scheduled for last week.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "stress reduction" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-15", "subject": "Sports", "saga": "Dilbert plays soccer and meets Liz.", "synopsis": "Dilbert joins a soccer league.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "soccer", "league", "instinct", "trajectory", "angle", "concentration", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-16", "subject": "Sports", "synopsis": "Dilbert is asked to be a 'stationary' player in a soccer game.", "note": "Liz's first appearance.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Liz" ], "keywords": [ "soccer", "glasses", "calculation" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-17", "subject": "Sports", "synopsis": "Liz uses Dilbert's head to score a goal.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Liz" ], "keywords": [ "bonk", "goal", "kick", "soccer", "good head for the game" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-18", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Liz out for a pizza after the game. Major turn down.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Liz" ], "keywords": [ "soccer", "ring", "eunuch" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-19", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Cuborg 2000 means Dilbert won't have to leave the cubicle. At all.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Cuborg 2000", "work space", "nurse", "cubicle", "life support", "tubes", "monitor", "vital signs", "upgrade", "self sufficient", "nurse", "hatch", "dish antenna" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-20", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert the headhunter.", "synopsis": "The Boss is not clear on what a headhunter does.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "headhunter", "staff", "problem", "behead", "disgruntle", "post office" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-21", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert's investigates job openings. Wally is not impressed.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "headhunting", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-22", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert offers a man a high paying job in a very cold climate.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "headhunting", "telephone", "cold", "freeze", "gender" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-23", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert brags about his salary.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "headhunting", "telephone", "brag" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-24", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Liz says women demand equality, but the man must pay for dinner on a date.", "characters": [ "Liz", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "restaurant", "equality", "survey", "slap", "menu", "literal" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-25", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Liz tests her hand signals hypothesis.", "characters": [ "Liz", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "hold hands", "experiment", "control", "hypothesis" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-26", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Wally and Dilbert build a go cart in the lab.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "lab supplies", "battery", "electric motor", "hand truck", "go cart", "linear accelerator", "television", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-27", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert's publishing company.", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells Dilbert about his desire to own a publishing company.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "publish", "rejection", "people person" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-28", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert loves his new career in book publishing.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "publish", "reject", "talent" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-29", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert criticises an author's book in an interview.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "author" ], "keywords": [ "publish", "murder", "dinosaur", "detective", "song", "mystery", "original" ] }, { "date": "1994-06-30", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert the publisher writes a rejection letter to an author.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "publish", "criticism", "letter", "manuscript", "return envelope", "stamp", "plot", "character" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-01", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert realises a woman likes him.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Phil" ], "keywords": [ "love", "froze over", "heck", "pigs fly", "pitchspoon" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-02", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "On Dilbert and Liz's third date, Dilbert asks for a kiss or a turn down.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Liz" ], "keywords": [ "kiss", "date", "let's be friends", "tradition", "third date", "sweat pants" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-03", "subject": "Creativity", "synopsis": "Dogbert draws a comic book called \"The Adventures of Boron.\"", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "comic book", "Adventures of Boron", "ego", "slay", "asynchronous protocol", "respect", "bandwidth", "marketing", "engineer", "society" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert's daily status report shows low morale and talk of mutiny.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "project", "status report", "morale", "mutiny", "Baywatch", "death", "pointy-haired" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert's question about his cancelled project comes back to haunt him.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "president", "project", "cancel", "delegate", "response", "answer" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-06", "subject": "Benefits", "synopsis": "The benefits department demands the engineers retire, or they lose their pensions.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "retire", "stock", "Haiti", "penny stocks", "contrarian", "letter", "benefits" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-07", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert is confused by the birds and the bees.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "birds and the bees", "confuse", "sting", "humming bird", "sex" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-08", "subject": "Entrepreneur", "synopsis": "Ratbert's philosophy is \"if life gives you lemons, make lemonade.\"", "characters": [ "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "lemonade", "life", "philosophy", "complain", "napkin", "pitcher", "ice" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-09", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert's dogumentary looks at an engineer in action.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "dogumentary", "engineer", "leap into action", "screen saver", "documentary", "camcorder", "video camera" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-10", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Dilbert lists his accomplishments at a staff meeting. To an untrained observer, it does not seem like much.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "staff meeting", "accomplishment", "socialising", "tiger team", "lock-up session", "executive briefing", "project management software", "budget" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-11", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert, technology columnist.", "synopsis": "Dogbert becomes a technology columnist.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "columnist", "opinion", "angry", "RISC processor", "senior citizen", "pundit", "laptop computer", "author" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-12", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert writes a column to explain why he's smarter than the Microsoft corporation.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "columnist", "Microsoft", "genius", "millionaire", "smart", "technology", "author", "laptop computer" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-13", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert opposes longer jail sentences for career criminals.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "criminal", "life in jail", "statistics", "crime" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-14", "subject": "Health", "saga": "Carpal tunnel syndrome.", "synopsis": "An employee complains the company cares more about money than the health of employees.", "characters": [ "employee", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "carpal tunnel syndrome", "health", "money", "operation", "sleep", "repetitive stress injury", "RSI", "surgery", "wrist brace", "injury", "false alarm" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-15", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "A carpal tunnel syndrome sufferer describes his condition to Wally.", "characters": [ "employee", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "carpal tunnel syndrome", "carpool", "repetitive motion", "brace", "surgery", "repetitive stress injury", "RSI", "wrist brace", "injury" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-16", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "An employee says working conditions are bad, but not as bad as being a miner.", "characters": [ "employee", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "carpal tunnel syndrome", "miner", "gas explosion", "canary", "wrist brace", "injury" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-17", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Wally wants to cut the meeting short and get back to the Internet.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Al Gore", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "information superhighway", "Internet", "share ideas", "chat area", "flirt", "blond jokes", "shoe" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-18", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "A engineer's solution to the problem of uncomfortable bicycle seats.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "solution", "bicycle seat", "pants", "dorky pants", "bicycle pants" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-19", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert may be dumb and ugly, but he is aerodynamic.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "dumb", "attractive", "aerodynamic", "toss" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-20", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert, head of Market Research.", "synopsis": "Dogbert gets a job as head of market research.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "market research", "rolling in dough", "honesty", "opinion", "laptop computer" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-21", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert says Dilbert belongs to the \"techno-geek\" segment of the population.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "market research", "techno-geek", "gullible", "boring", "male", "spider", "trick", "shy" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-22", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert interviews Ratbert, part of the wild fungi and pencil eraser market segment.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "market research", "segment", "fungi", "pencil eraser", "paper", "clipboard", "opinion", "interview" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-23", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert presents some incontrovertible market research statistics.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "market research", "statistics", "median age", "phase", "presentation", "projector" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-24", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert tries to organise the engineers into a union.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "union", "salary", "overtime", "benefits", "job security", "spine", "union dues", "organise", "porta-spine", "cubicle" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-25", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert says it's almost unnatural for him to have a girlfriend.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Liz" ], "keywords": [ "girlfriend", "Captain Kirk", "fall in love", "shooting star", "Star Trek", "meteorite", "crater" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-26", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert attempts a difficult dive onto the sofa.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "dive", "judge", "degree of difficulty", "endorsement", "couch" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says twenty percent of salaries will depend on meeting sales targets.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "sales target", "compensation", "pay cut", "unmeasurable targets", "code", "encryption" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-28", "subject": "Management", "saga": "CEO visit.", "synopsis": "The CEO will be coming to visit, so productive work will cease.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "productivity", "overhead", "actor", "putting best face forward", "Gerard Depardieu" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert lists his accomplishments for the CEO visit.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "summary", "CEO", "accomplishment", "toxic waste", "penicillin", "wool", "sheep" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The CEO cancels his visit and sends his top aid, Zimbu the monkey, in his place.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Zimbu" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "top aid", "humiliate", "exaggerate", "accomplishment", "presentation", "projector" ] }, { "date": "1994-07-31", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss hands out an \"attaboy\" certificate for work on the Alpha project.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "attaboy", "certificate", "Indian name", "Alpha project", "impostor", "award", "Willy", "Wallyina" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-01", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "note": "An alternative strip was also published this day.", "saga": "Dogbert's ad agency creates a new image for Dilbert's company.", "synopsis": "Dogbert's ad agency comes up with a new name for the company. Alternative strip: The Boss gives an assignment to Mark who doesn't receive it very well.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Mark", "Alice", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "ad agency", "company name", "astronomy", "electronics", "Uranus", "Hertz", "management", "assignment", "scream", "enjoy", "facial expression", "advertising" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-02", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert unveils the new slogan for the company.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "ad agency", "company image", "abuse employees", "cubicle", "presentation", "projector", "advertising" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-03", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert outlines the commercial he plans to produce.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "ad agency", "commercial", "hidden camera", "documentary", "competition", "advertising" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-04", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert's commercial will show company cars braking to avoid pedestrians.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "ad agency", "commercial", "pedestrian", "Dick Clark", "bloopers", "television", "advertising" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert worked day and night to finish the design for a cancelled project.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "Project Zebra", "design", "cancel", "kill", "binder", "travel" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-06", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert invites over a hairless cat.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "hairless cat" ], "keywords": [ "hairless cat", "spray-on hair", "goldfish", "spray can" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-07", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows the new engineer the ropes.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Laurie" ], "keywords": [ "new employee", "anti-productivity pod", "telephone", "background noise", "aisle", "hangman's noose", "cubicle" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-08", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Liz finds Dilbert oddly appealing but doesn't want to get physical until after marriage.", "characters": [ "Liz", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "appeal", "get physical", "marriage", "husband", "literal", "sex" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-09", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert is oddly relaxed, despite Liz's views of sex before marriage.", "note": "Dilbert's tie lays flat.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "get physical", "marriage", "relax", "tie lays flat", "Unitarian", "religion", "sex" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss brings bad news about how to raise profits.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "profit", "pencil", "sell pencils" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Special kinds of teams are required to survive in a tough year.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "profit", "team", "downsize" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-12", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert announces a still-single shower in his honour.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "still-single shower", "registered pattern", "Electron Hut", "wedding gift", "baby shower", "invitation" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-13", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert does an impression of a dog in space.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "dog in space", "humour", "impression", "physical humour", "lost art", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-14", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains the many types of friends.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally", "Dilbert", "man", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "friend", "close", "buddy", "boyfriend", "girlfriend", "stereotype", "love", "lust", "television", "platonic" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-15", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A management fast-tracker wants to fax a report to the CEO.", "characters": [ "Wally", "management fast-tracker", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "management", "fast track", "report", "CEO", "fax", "shredder", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-16", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert says he received so many new assignments, there was no time for work.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "assignment", "meeting", "hamster on a wheel" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-17", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Two goals this year are to improve customer service and downsize.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "customer service", "staff", "service people", "screw up" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-18", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Wally is fired, and an outplacement agency will help.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "outplacement", "fired", "cubicle", "photocopy", "food stamps", "downsize", "food stamps", "counterfeit" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-19", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Dogbert's Outplacement Agency welcomes Wally.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert's Outplacement Agency", "freelance", "ego", "cubicle", "DOA", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-20", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert says he can look interested by making his eyes big.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "big eyes", "interest", "annoy", "fake", "laptop computer" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-21", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "The Boss rejects Dilbert's report because there are no alternatives listed.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "report", "proposal", "alternative", "tax break", "career", "cow chip", "microchip" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-22", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert says he needs four additional engineers to finish the project on time.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "project", "deadline", "menacing statement", "downsize", "headcount", "overwork", "threat" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-23", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Giant cucumbers.", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks a genetic scientist for an army of slave clones.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "scientist" ], "keywords": [ "genetics", "research", "slave", "army", "conquer", "cucumber", "seed" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-24", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert plants seeds for his army of giant cucumbers.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "army", "mutant", "slave", "cucumber", "sea monkey", "boot camp", "watering can", "flower pot" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-25", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert prepares for conquering the world with his giant cucumbers.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "army", "mutant", "cucumber", "conquer", "salad shooter", "pickle", "world domination", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-26", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Sue is hired to run the Dignity Enhancement Program.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "dignity enhancement program", "hard work", "less money", "budget" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-27", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert is king of his cubicle, absolute ruler of his tiny realm.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle king", "loyal subjects", "coffee", "moat", "barbarian", "stapler", "binder" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-28", "subject": "Feminism", "synopsis": "A woman takes offence at Dilbert's use of the word \"acute.\"", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "image", "fuzzy", "acute", "offence", "sexist", "pun", "apology", "witch" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert writes a report to say why his job shouldn't be outsourced.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "report", "outsource", "consultant", "pride", "logic" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-30", "subject": "Professional", "saga": "Dilbert attends MBA classes.", "synopsis": "Dilbert decides to get an MBA with night classes.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "MBA", "night class", "prestige", "babe ratio", "knowledge", "course catalogue" ] }, { "date": "1994-08-31", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert can't work unpaid overtime because of his MBA classes.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "MBA", "overtime", "NPV", "luck" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-01", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "The MBA class teacher starts with a refresher in macro economics.", "characters": [ "teacher", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "MBA", "macro economics", "expert", "flood victim", "classroom", "pencil", "whiteboard", "diagram" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-02", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dogbert admires Dilbert's ability to work days and attend night classes.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "MBA", "night class", "sleep", "knowledge", "Cheerios", "breakfast" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss uses the paper-rock-scissors method to approve a project.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "decision", "paper-rock-scissors", "project", "approval", "random" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-04", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dogbert baits a woman in the park. She wants to pet him; he doesn't want to.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "woman", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "park", "cute", "pet", "shy", "tease", "no", "soft", "adorable" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-05", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to charge people who give him their opinion.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "opinion", "charge", "compensation", "from the mouths of babes" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-06", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert sets up a toll line for people to give him their opinion.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "opinion", "charge", "555-dog-bert", "vote", "television", "advertisement", "vote", "poll" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The group gets a new \"Bungee Boss.\"", "characters": [ "Boss", "Bungee Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "bungee boss", "mentor", "incoming", "reassign", "harness" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-08", "subject": "Telecommuting", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to telecommute and have goals that can't be measured.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "interview", "salary", "objectives", "direct deposit" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-09", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert presents a chart to describe his project's decision making process.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "project", "decision process", "chart", "meeting", "question", "presentation", "projector", "diagram" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert must work harder or be put in the box.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "hard work", "box", "cubicle", "unmanageable", "threat" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-11", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert borrows some paper for the laser printer. Phil catches him.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Phil", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "paper", "photocopier", "laser printer", "budget", "punishment", "heck", "wit", "pitchspoon" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-12", "subject": "Family", "note": "Catbert's first appearance.", "saga": "Catbert's first appearance.", "synopsis": "Ratbert feels incredibly lucky as Catbert attacks.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "optimist", "luck", "attack", "hat" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-13", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert figures out how to remove Catbert from Ratbert's head.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bob", "Catbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "violence", "attack", "separate", "stomp", "injury", "optimist" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-14", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells Catbert he's not welcome, and Catbert wants to pounce on his natural enemy.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Catbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "attack", "house", "computer", "enemy", "rules", "keyboard" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-15", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Catbert takes over Dilbert's keyboard.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "computer", "keyboard", "cat on the keyboard", "ctrl-alt-del", "reboot" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-16", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Catbert convinces Dogbert he should stay.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Catbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "demographics", "family value", "appeal", "immortal", "Mickey" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss for an executive decision without expecting an answer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "executive decision", "delay tactic", "illegible question" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-18", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert presents his pyramid scheme.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "pyramid scheme", "wealth", "ethics", "recruit", "family", "scam", "marketing", "sucker", "guarantee", "math" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-19", "subject": "Technology", "saga": "Dilbert attends a technology show.", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Dogbert what he expects from the upcoming technology show.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "technology show", "product", "salmon", "suitcase", "spawn" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-20", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert learns men without facial hair are not allowed on the technology show exhibition floor.", "characters": [ "clerk", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "technology show", "registration", "beard", "suspenders", "exhibition" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-21", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to evade the vendors at the technology show.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "vendor" ], "keywords": [ "technology show", "vendor", "scan", "tractor beam", "boring", "suspenders", "life support", "calculate" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-22", "subject": "Teamwork", "synopsis": "Project requirements firm up, but not with Engineering's involvement.", "characters": [ "man", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "project requirements", "changing requirements", "secret thoughts", "goon", "budget" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-23", "subject": "Teamwork", "synopsis": "Bob's services as a goon are up for bids.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Bob", "man" ], "keywords": [ "project requirements", "secret thoughts", "goon", "bidding", "hourly rate", "injury" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert fills in a questionnaire about the Boss's management style.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "questionnaire", "management style", "confidential", "training" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss criticises Dilbert for using the fax for personal business.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "fax", "personal business", "paper", "electricity", "steal", "power" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-26", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Saint Dogbert punishes people who stray from the meeting agenda.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "man", "Saint Dogbert", "Alice", "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "agenda", "punish", "say something stupid", "bishop hat", "sceptre" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-27", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A vice president makes Dilbert and the Boss wait in the hallway.", "characters": [ "vice president", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "late", "banjo", "wait in the hallway", "worth" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to remove a cartoon from his cubicle because it's hurting morale.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cartoon", "cubicle", "morale", "management decision", "comic strip", "kick me" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-29", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "The Boss announces the new strategy of shipping defective products and charging for technical support.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "defective products", "tech support", "user manual", "hate", "customer" ] }, { "date": "1994-09-30", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "Dilbert and the Boss decide between a good interface and an easy to build interface.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "point and click", "command line interface", "typo", "reboot", "GUI", "graphical user interface" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-01", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Wally gets hired back as a consultant.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "fired", "smart", "comprehension", "rehired" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-02", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Dilbert mathematically proves God exists. The Garbageman checks his work.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Garbageman" ], "keywords": [ "mathematical proof", "God", "transpose", "variable", "Rene Descartes", "trashcan" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-03", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Dogbert says the executives are being over compensated and recommends cut backs.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "executive", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "executive compensation plan", "Dogbert Consulting Company", "pay cut", "repeat business" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-04", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Anne tells Dilbert she's given up sleep, exercise and nutrition for the job.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Anne" ], "keywords": [ "sleep", "exercise", "nutrition", "coffee", "aorta", "TV stand", "intravenous" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss cuts project funding while keeping objectives the same.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "project funding", "benefits", "business case", "reality", "nutty people", "revenue" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces he'll be managing a Marketing group in addition to his current duties.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "marketing", "parking lot", "bumper", "run over" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss orders the marketing people to work.", "characters": [ "Boss", "marketing guy" ], "keywords": [ "marketing", "segment", "focus", "motivate", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces doubling of production from focus group review.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "focus group", "production", "statistics", "opinion", "sandwich", "free lunch" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-09", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Dilbert goes along on a sales call to answer technical questions.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Dilbert", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "sales call", "lie", "question", "bug", "security feature", "ship date", "stupid", "attractive", "hair", "truth", "evidence" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-10", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "A project leader predicts no sales for two years then a sudden surge.", "characters": [ "project manager", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "sales surge", "accountable", "business case", "promotion", "presentation", "projector", "blame", "finger pointing" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-11", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert the Futurist.", "synopsis": "Dogbert writes a book about future trends.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "book", "future trends", "valid guesses", "vision", "audience", "trend", "laptop computer", "author" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-12", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert predicts the future of computing.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "moron" ], "keywords": [ "futurist", "keyboard", "motion sensing ring", "3-D image", "computer" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-13", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert predicts technology haves and have-nots.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Oog" ], "keywords": [ "futurist", "technology", "haves and have nots", "evolution", "mission statement", "presentation", "microphone", "banana", "tails", "fur" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-14", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert says technology will be driven by money and male hormones.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Liz" ], "keywords": [ "futurist", "money", "male hormones", "virtual reality", "dating", "holodeck", "2004", "laptop computer", "author", "technology", "satellite dish", "antenna" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-15", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Wally decides to give up on dating and reproduce by other means.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "dating", "reproduce", "asexual cell division", "sex" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss combined Dilbert's project with Project Big Foot because he thinks they're the same.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Project Big Foot", "budget", "cut", "resourceful", "idiot" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss reasons anything he doesn't understand is easy to do.", "characters": [ "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "timeline", "client-server", "architecture", "design", "schedule" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The executives decide to fire employees to make the company stronger.", "characters": [ "executive" ], "keywords": [ "executive board room", "pasty white rumps", "fired", "task force" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-19", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains how he will be deciding who to let go.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "fired", "algorithm", "salary", "headcount" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-20", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "An employee is let go and hired back as a consultant.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "employee", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "fired", "severance package", "vacation", "contract employee", "dress code", "telecommute", "bathrobe", "coffee cup" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-21", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The contractor taunts the employees about having to attend a three hour staff meeting.", "characters": [ "contractor", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "staff meeting", "multimedia developer", "bathrobe", "coffee cup" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-22", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert installs and configures a software package.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "configure", "software", "Academy Award", "best actor" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-23", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The project is behind schedule, the technology is obsolete and the users' requirements have changed.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "project", "schedule", "obsolete", "technology", "requirement", "accountable", "Project Caribou", "team building" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-24", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert, the ethics consultant.", "synopsis": "An ethics consultant is called in to clear up the grey areas.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "ethics", "confidential", "weasel-boy", "adviser", "grey area", "adviser", "security camera", "security monitor" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-25", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Wally asks the ethics office about co-workers with better PC's.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "ethics", 386, "Pentium", "run over", "adviser", "car", "long shot" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-26", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert hears products are killing people and they're selling to youths in poor urban areas.", "characters": [ "man", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "ethics", "adviser", "kill", "product", "study", "flaw", "advertisement", "youth market", "urban", "office supplies", "steal" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-27", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "A salesperson feels guilty about product now, pay later selling techniques.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "sales rep" ], "keywords": [ "sales", "ethics", "fees", "advice", "adviser", "return", "trapped" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-28", "subject": "Finance", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Ray the new finance guy.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Ray" ], "keywords": [ "new employee", "hate", "business case", "photocopy" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-29", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The new finance guy seems rigid and not a team player.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "rigid", "hate", "team player", "napkin", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-30", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dogbert the detective finds out who stole Dilbert's lunch.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Wally", "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "lunch", "steal", "motive", "opportunity", "detective", "synthetic", "female hormones", "breasts", "hair", "estrogen", "thief", "steal" ] }, { "date": "1994-10-31", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss carries the soul of Willy the Mail Boy in a jar.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Willy the Mail Boy" ], "keywords": [ "jar", "soul", "union", "bargain", "glory year" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says they need buy-in from managers who don't care.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "product", "process", "problem", "buy in", "executive oversight", "overhead projector", "bulb", "blind", "presentation" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss reports an employee survey shows employees believe there is no company strategy.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "employee survey", "strategy", "quality team", "stock options", "ninnies", "presentation" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces a study of their bad decision making process.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "interdisciplinary task force", "bad decision making process", "X-ray", "skull" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces management by physical intimidation.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "manage by physical intimidation", "stupid", "smack" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-05", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Instead of right-sizing, the company is bright-sizing, where bright employees leave.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "right-sizing", "bright-sizing", "bright employees", "banana", "smart", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-06", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert's project was approved by the president, but with no budget so it's a doomed project. Unless...", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "marketing supervisor" ], "keywords": [ "approval", "president", "budget", "doom", "executive", "hype", "take over", "joy" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Ted complains he's given the company everything he's got.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "dignity", "self-esteem", "creativity", "blood drive", "give all you've got" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-08", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "As the employees give blood, they worry the company may be too competitive.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "blood drive", "competitive", "gurney" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-09", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The engineers get a window view by sitting on stacks of binders.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Boss", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "window view", "binder", "business plan", "prairie dog" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-10", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert the consultant tells how a process can compensate for the employees.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "business process", "sloth", "process", "incompetence", "apathy" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-11", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert recommends engineers order their own office supplies.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "office supplies", "rich", "put options", "stock", "steal", "management approval", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss reduces headcount by a new form of Russian roulette.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Ted", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "headcount", "doughnut", "humane", "lottery", "fire", "downsize" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss promotes Al because he has no valuable technical knowledge.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Al", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "promotion", "district manager", "technical", "valuable" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss assigns Dilbert to the project that would not die.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "motivational speech", "project that would not die", "funding", "status quo", "honesty" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-15", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally enjoys nit-picking Dilbert's first draft.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "first draft", "suggestion", "nit-picking", "marriage", "blinkers" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss uses Dilbert's project report as a foot rest.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "project report", "binder", "foot rest", "performance review" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces a ten percent saving because of the paperless office concept.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "paperless office", "restroom", "back of hand", "toilet paper" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-18", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Wally complains managers get good computers and engineers do not.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ 286, "SPARC workstation", "screen saver", "scroll text", "unfair" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-19", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally threatens to lower his job performance.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "career", "performance", "balance of power", "curse" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-20", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Dilbert describes how he created a document at a staff meeting.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "accomplishment", "document", "desktop publishing", "training", "clip art", "icon", "digitise", "photo", "multi-column", "digitise", "photo", "topic", "content" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-21", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "The Boss says the turnover rate is low because they only hire people who can't work elsewhere.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "turnover", "rate", "metric", "skill" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-22", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Success can be measured by the number of repeat customers, Dogbert says.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "success", "customer", "repeat", "warranty", "replace" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-23", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert loses the mental connection between job performance and salary.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "performance", "salary", "mental connection", "flick fingers", "paid" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-24", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows Ted he can get paid for flicking his fingers.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice", "Wally", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "performance", "flick fingers", "standing around", "sound of success", "paid" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-25", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dogbert gives Liz a test to see if she can continue to see Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Liz" ], "keywords": [ "test", "reason", "superior", "cute", "fingernail", "she-devil" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss comes up with a really long name for the group -- and a business card to match.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "name", "group", "research", "technology", "business card", "excellence", "quality", "engineer", "science", "information", "efficient" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss moves Dilbert to another cubicle. Dilbert thinks it's just a game.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "move", "efficiency", "project", "dress code", "pawn", "bishop", "chess", "communication" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "A portion of the salary plan now depends on the success of the team, the Boss says.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "salary", "team", "success", "resume", "printer" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-29", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dogbert wins the bid to run the tech support hot line.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "bid", "hotline", "support call", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1994-11-30", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dogbert solves a tech support problem by asking the caller to stand on his chair and shout.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "problem", "stand on chair", "manual", "support call" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-01", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dogbert's Tech Support says their product is incompatible with all hardware and all software.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "database", "compatible", "incompatible", "poison ivy", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-02", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dogbert defers to Ratbert about how to compensate for having a tiny brain.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "support call", "brain", "learn", "expert", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-03", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dogbert answers a support call about trying three menu choices.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "support call", "menu choice", "memo", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-04", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The engineers can't coordinate going to lunch.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally", "Ted", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "lunch", "wait", "telephone", "coordinate", "restaurant", "peace", "missile", "chain reaction", "restroom", "bathroom" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces adopting the best practises of the Japanese model.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Japan", "best practises", "long-term investing", "karaoke", "lifetime employment", "microphone", "sing" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-06", "subject": "ISO 9000", "synopsis": "The Boss puts Dilbert in charge of the ISO 9000 certification processes.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "certification", "brochure", "lie", "process" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-07", "subject": "ISO 9000", "synopsis": "Dilbert welcomes attendees to the ISO 9000 certification project kick-off meeting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "certification", "kickoff meeting", "hand-picked" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-08", "subject": "ISO 9000", "synopsis": "Dilbert describes the plan for being ISO 9000 certified.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "certification", "process", "poorly written document", "binder", "raccoon", "department heads", "presentation", "diagram", "projector" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-09", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Dogbert says a high-income group is the only one that can afford to buy their product.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "target market", "high-income group", "tasteless", "easily amused", "golf", "presentation", "diagram", "cluster" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss brings up the employee satisfaction average score.", "characters": [ "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "employee satisfaction", "grumpy", "morale", "touchy-feely", "average" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says the employee of the month will have a parking spot just behind the managers.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "employee of the month", "park", "important", "train" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-12", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "A technician checks the building for environmental hazards.", "characters": [ "environmental technician", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "environmental hazards", "tired", "nervous", "disorientation", "career", "breath mask", "goggles", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-13", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "Ratbert follows Dilbert around to become an engineer.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "annoying rodent", "career", "marketing", "engineer", "briefcase" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-14", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Ratbert is interviewed for a position in marketing.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "interviewer" ], "keywords": [ "interview", "skill", "bubbly personality", "career", "gnaw", "telephone cord", "security", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-15", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Ratbert tells Dogbert he didn't get the Marketing job.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "interview", "experience", "meeting", "doughnut", "pillow" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-16", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert makes Ratbert an intern because Ratbert hangs around.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "intern", "high-traffic cube", "look busy", "computer" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-17", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Ratbert the intern makes a suggestion to become a world-class organisation.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "intern", "suggestion", "multi-disciplinary task forces", "re-engineer", "idea rat" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-18", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "Business math, as explained by Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "math", "grunt", "bonus", "expense", "budget", "giraffe", "sales projection", "requirement", "doctor", "flashlight", "proctologist" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-19", "subject": "Management", "saga": "The Millard Bullrush Quality Award.", "synopsis": "The Boss announces they will try to win a quality award.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "Millard Bullrush", "quality award", "politician", "snorkel", "sea turtle" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-20", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to describe how he used total quality on his last project.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Millard Bullrush", "quality award", "total quality", "honesty" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-21", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dogbert suggests a way to make a failed project look good.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Millard Bullrush", "quality award", "project", "acronym", "cost saving", "laptop computer", "dishonest", "budget" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-22", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert gives his write-up on quality to the Boss.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "Millard Bullrush", "quality award", "write-up", "productive time", "irony", "shirt", "contest" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-23", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Dogbert bids to be the telemarketer for the Boss.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "telemarketing", "feeble-minded person", "pocket the difference", "steal" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-24", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss about a strange smell in the cubicles.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "aroma technology", "lemon", "alert", "smell", "complain" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-25", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The engineers prevent Ed from working late.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ed", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "work late", "compensation", "duct tape", "problem", "underwear", "logic" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-26", "subject": "Product", "synopsis": "The Boss hires a professional to design the product interface.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Sven" ], "keywords": [ "user interface", "design", "international terrorist", "Yale", "eye patch", "jail", "criminal" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-27", "subject": "Product", "synopsis": "Sven shows off the sound effects in the user interface.", "characters": [ "Sven" ], "keywords": [ "user interface", "sound", "puke", "fingernails on blackboard", "bird hitting window", "eye patch" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-28", "subject": "Product", "synopsis": "Bringing in strangers to test the product will take too long and cost too much, according to Sven.", "characters": [ "Sven", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "product testing", "focus group", "time and money", "stupid", "candy", "eye patch" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-29", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert updates the old saying \"You can lead a horse to water\".", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "lead a horse to water", "smell like a horse", "hose", "horse" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces the next team building exercise -- a paintball tournament.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "team building", "paintball", "cubicle war", "goggles" ] }, { "date": "1994-12-31", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants the engineers to act as a self-managed team.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "self-managed team", "vital management tasks", "status report", "kiss butt", "track" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-01", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally doesn't give full answers in order to seem more valuable.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "information", "withhold", "overwork", "sinister", "e-mail", "incompetence", "telephone", "voicemail", "computer", "strategy", "answer", "teamwork" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains he accomplished twice as much as Wally, but got the same tiny raise.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "raise", "pay", "management philosophy", "annoy" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally is selected to head the campaign for \"United Charity\".", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "campaign", "leadership", "United Charity", "pitiful", "honesty", "policy" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-04", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Wally complains Dilbert's charity donations are below average.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "United Charity", "donation", "contribution", "approved list", "agency", "pay", "team player", "society" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-05", "subject": "Leadership", "note": "The headless man is Wally in disguise.", "synopsis": "Wally, pretending to be a headless man, is the inspirational speaker at the \"United Charity\" kickoff.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "United Charity", "kickoff", "inspirational speaker", "headcount" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert's ego can't handle micro-management from the Boss.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "customer focus", "report", "beg", "swat", "men's room", "micro manage", "ego", "paper towel", "flyswatter", "meeting" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-07", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows Ratbert a silicon chip containing an entire computer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "silicon", "chip", "cyborg", "computer", "gulp", "snatch" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets to be floor warden in case of a fire.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "leadership", "stock options", "decision", "floor warden", "CPR", "inferno", "fire", "safety" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-09", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces hoteling, where employees sign up for whatever cubicle is available at the time.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "cubicle", "hoteling", "tip", "toilet paper", "restroom", "presentation", "projector" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-10", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally has to keep his binders in a shopping cart since no one has a cubicle anymore.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "hoteling", "binder", "shopping cart", "graffiti", "individuality", "gang", "spray paint" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-11", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert's venture capital firm.", "synopsis": "Dogbert announces he's starting a venture capital firm.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "venture capital", "moron", "idea", "beg for money", "finance", "mirth" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-12", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert partners with a technology inventor.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "inventor" ], "keywords": [ "venture capital", "common stock", "non-equity stock", "tension", "business partner", "pen", "sign" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-13", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "An inventor wants Dogbert to finance developing a word processing program for Windows.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "programmer" ], "keywords": [ "venture capital", "word processing", "Microsoft Windows", "software", "French bread", "restaurant", "waitress" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-14", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert agrees to invest five million dollars, with certain conditions.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "venture capital", "condition", "chairman", "car", "lawn", "multimedia developer", "garden" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-15", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "The new motto is \"we do it right the first time.\"", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "mistake", "quality", "first time", "inspiration", "paralyse", "meeting", "poster", "punish", "morale", "paralyse" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-16", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert brings home useless documents and burns them to heat his house.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "paper-burning stove", "heating bill", "document", "furnace", "fuel" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-17", "subject": "Personal", "saga": "Dilbert is offered a promotion to management.", "synopsis": "The Boss is impressed with the volume of work Dilbert carries around.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "paper-burning stove", "promotion", "ethics", "job offer", "furnace", "leadership" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-18", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert can't decide to stay in engineering or move to management.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Phil" ], "keywords": [ "dilemma", "career", "management", "engineer", "dark side", "pitchspoon", "voice" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-19", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Liz's opinion as to whether to become a manager.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Liz" ], "keywords": [ "career", "management", "engineer", "ham radio", "sex appeal", "plan", "goose bumps", "park bench" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-20", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Phil says Dilbert is becoming a generalist and wants him to become a manager.", "characters": [ "Phil", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "renounce", "dark side", "career", "management", "engineer", "technical knowledge", "generalist", "suite of applications", "pitchspoon" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-21", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert is promoted to team leader.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "team leader", "promotion", "raise", "responsibility", "recognition" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-22", "subject": "Product", "synopsis": "How product development is estimated.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "vice president", "president", "sales rep", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "nature", "pad", "schedule", "Doom", "empire", "beta", "cardboard", "estimate", "telephone", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-23", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dilbert announces his promotion to team leader.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "team leader", "raise", "expense", "fired", "promotion", "approval", "manager" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-24", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to show off his team leader status.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "perk", "status", "team leader", "thick", "cubicle", "brag" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-25", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dilbert feels like a trapped animal in a warped behavioural study.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "team leader", "responsibility", "authority", "behaviour", "pellet", "reward", "bell", "food dispenser", "pellet dispenser" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss suggests forming a vision statement of their concepts for requirements.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "vision statement", "requirement", "straw man", "quality vector", "participate", "mock" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-27", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to offer Dilbert's project for budget cuts because it's the most critical.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "project", "budget cut", "finance", "panic", "ploy", "critical" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "A new employee has an idea, which is promptly suppressed.", "characters": [ "new employee", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "idea", "fire hose", "idea suppression", "first idea is the toughest" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-29", "subject": "Sports", "synopsis": "Dogbert goes to the lake to push people in.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "fisherman", "fish" ], "keywords": [ "lake", "hobby", "fishing", "beauty", "suffer", "flop", "wet", "fishing pole" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-30", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss complains his laptop is too heavy and Wally suggests deleting some files to make it lighter.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "laptop computer", "heavy", "file", "delete files", "suggestion", "why not" ] }, { "date": "1995-01-31", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert sends a flame message to Wally.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "flame", "personal hygiene", "ignorance", "cyberspace", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1995-02-01", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The flame war between Dilbert and Wally cuts into their work.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "status report", "e-mail", "flame war", "herd", "mating", "rank", "meeting", "superior", "obligation", "hormone" ] }, { "date": "1995-02-02", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Alice protests the company's dress code by dressing masculine.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "dress code", "high heels", "pantyhose", "helpless ornaments", "pleasure" ] }, { "date": "1995-02-03", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Alice tells the Boss she's protesting the company's dress code.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "dress code", "Crying Game", "protest" ] }, { "date": "1995-02-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss ranks Dilbert's assignments. Personal Life ends up on the \"B\" list.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "rank", "assignment", "personal life", "priority", "must do" ] }, { "date": "1995-02-05", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains how leaders are created -- they're morons with a high bladder-to-brain ratio.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "career", "moron", "meeting", "bladder", "brain", "logic", "promote", "nature", "coffee", "talent", "award", "productive" ] }, { "date": "1995-02-06", "subject": "Telecommuting", "saga": "Dilbert telecommutes.", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders how many productive hours he owes the company while telecommuting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "ethics", "productive time", "planet", "driving", "bathrobe", "coffee cup" ] }, { "date": "1995-02-07", "subject": "Telecommuting", "synopsis": "Dilbert eliminates hygiene during his telecommuting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "hygiene", "language skills", "gas mask", "Tarzan", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "1995-02-08", "subject": "Telecommuting", "synopsis": "Dilbert throws his pen in the air for a morning of telecommuting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "pen", "appreciation", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "1995-02-09", "subject": "Telecommuting", "synopsis": "Dilbert starts \"clothes optional\" telecommuting and wonders why monkeys don't grow beards.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "clothes", "monkey", "beard", "meeting", "attendance" ] }, { "date": "1995-02-10", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice complains she makes less per hour than the janitor.", "characters": [ "Alice", "janitor", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "pay", "janitor", "pipes", "raise", "plunger", "creature", "attitude change" ] }, { "date": "1995-02-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for current resumes from the engineers.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "resume", "staff cut", "disloyalty", "downsize", "fire" ] }, { "date": "1995-02-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert joins a strategic planning team that works without really accomplishing anything.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "strategic planning", "team", "emotion", "meeting", "think", "viewgraph", "complain", "believe", "opinion", "important" ] }, { "date": "1995-02-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks everyone to quantify their contributions to revenue.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "revenue", "quantify", "future", "cynicism", "track", "number", "raise" ] }, { "date": "1995-02-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally assumes his project will fail without him.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "revenue", "valuable", "project", "contribute" ] }, { "date": "1995-02-15", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Wally sends out repeat e-mail while he's on sabbatical.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "best of Wally", "sabbatical", "in-cube" ] }, { "date": "1995-02-16", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The engineers were so late they had to finish getting ready for work in the car.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "makeup", "shave", "sponge bath", "carpool", "whine" ] }, { "date": "1995-02-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert reports to the Boss the project is behind schedule due to being understaffed.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "understaffed", "status report", "project", "improvement", "deadline", "behind schedule" ] }, { "date": "1995-02-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces there will be no raises. The news goes downhill from there.", "characters": [ "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "raise", "reward", "worse" ] }, { "date": "1995-02-19", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The many Boss Types are explained.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "boss types", "hostage taker", "fraud", "motivational liar", "over promoted", "weasel", "Moses", "perfect boss", "qualitise", "paradigm", "datums" ] }, { "date": "1995-02-20", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Dilbert to give up his project and transfer over to a new project.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "project", "doomed project", "promotion", "raise", "pathological liar", "super powers" ] }, { "date": "1995-02-21", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for help dealing with a pathological liar.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "pathological liar", "PhD", "MIT", "liatology", "diploma" ] }, { "date": "1995-02-22", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss hires a temp to flap his arms to prevent the lights from being switched off.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "light", "motion detectors", "journalism major", "temp", "fan" ] }, { "date": "1995-02-23", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Alice he's almost done with her performance appraisal.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "performance review", "documentation trail", "motivational speaker" ] }, { "date": "1995-02-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice is terrified by her impending performance review.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "performance review", "reject", "simian", "disdain", "lucky", "rating" ] }, { "date": "1995-02-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces a new rating system by comparing animal traits.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "performance review", "animal traits", "Tyrannosaurus Rex", "brain", "dinosaur" ] }, { "date": "1995-02-26", "subject": "Family", "note": "Dilbert's Mom's first appearance.", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to describe his job to his mother.", "characters": [ "Dilbert's Mom", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "engineer", "railroad", "typewriter", "debug", "ISDN line", "BRI analyser", "packet", "cake", "TCP\/IP driver", "school" ] }, { "date": "1995-02-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The read-out from the \"Excellence in Teaming\" is nearly ready.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "excellence in teaming", "decision", "squirrel migration habits", "study", "buy-in" ] }, { "date": "1995-02-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss gives out a cheque to Ted for the \"We are Teams\" campaign.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ted", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "We Are Teams", "cheque", "campaign", "achievement", "reward", "attack" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-01", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice wonders why she never has time to eat but the men are eating by 11:35.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "lunch", "upgrade", "efficiency", "hungry", "secret" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The company rolls out two programs -- dignity enhancement and random drug testing.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "dignity enhancement program", "random drug testing", "coffee cup", "clue metre", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss collects DNA samples to check for anything that could hurt productivity.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "DNA", "genetic problems", "productivity", "hypodermic needle", "syringe", "trousers", "pants", "deadline" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Salaries are based on predicted success, not past performance.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "pay", "stapler mishap", "predicted success", "versus", "past performance", "DNA", "predict", "analysis" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-05", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert plays security guards in space.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert", "security guard", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "security guards in space", "badge", "experiment", "rocket", "lunchbox", "gizmo", "launch", "safety" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert why he's a week behind schedule.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "behind schedule", "leadership", "parent", "drunk", "enthusiasm", "success", "blank" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss adds a person to help Dilbert, but he needs training.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Barry" ], "keywords": [ "resource", "productivity", "programming", "untrained", "training" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks how it's going since adding an extra person to Dilbert's programming.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Barry" ], "keywords": [ "programming", "modules", "mouse", "microphone", "announcement", "public address", "PA systems" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-09", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Managers will now be called \"thought leaders\".", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Ted", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "manager", "thought leaders" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says Dilbert's performance was good, but on unimportant tasks.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "performance review", "task", "raise", "bonus", "salary", "workplace violence", "violence" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The managers attend another closed-door meeting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "manager" ], "keywords": [ "closed-door meeting", "layoff", "resume", "leadership vision", "action" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-12", "subject": "Project", "note": "Tina's first appearance.", "synopsis": "Tina complains nobody reviews her writing.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "documentation", "review", "technical writer", "fetid pile of compost", "blank page", "bluff" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-13", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert buys Dilbert's company.", "synopsis": "Dogbert is contemplating buying Dilbert's company.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "position", "job", "promise" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-14", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert audits the company before deciding to buy it.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "auditor" ], "keywords": [ "audit", "purchase", "hideous", "scare", "consultant", "Grim Reaper", "scythe", "skull" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-15", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert negotiates a stock price.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "stockholder", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "stock", "media leaks", "purchase", "contract", "per share" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-16", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert, the new owner of the company, makes some changes.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "dress code", "status report", "mission statement", "stock options", "dream", "presentation", "blueprint" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Dogbert to clarify the uncertainty and destroy rumours.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "rumour", "productivity", "contract employee", "uncertainty", "gopher", "disgust", "humiliate" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-18", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to trim middle management at his company.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "manager", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "middle management", "FYI", "document", "wheelbarrow" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-19", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Dilbert is trapped in a meeting that will not conclude.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "finish", "trapped", "polite", "reiterate", "awkward pause" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-20", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert hires Catbert as the director of Human Resources.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Catbert", "Paul" ], "keywords": [ "director", "misery", "friend", "scratch", "downsize" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-21", "subject": "Management", "note": "Catbert is named for the first time.", "synopsis": "Catbert waves an org chart in front of the employees.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "organisation chart", "tease", "downsize", "paper", "string" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-22", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Catbert dangles an org chart in front of Alice and Wally.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "organisation chart", "clothes", "paper", "string", "injury" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-23", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert sells the company for a huge profit.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally", "Elbonian", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "sell", "profit", "discrimination", "buyer", "lazy", "funny", "laws" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-24", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains how the Elbonians could afford to buy the company.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "mud", "cosmetics", "couch shopping network", "television", "advertisement", "profit" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-25", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "A user-friendly computer has only one button.", "characters": [ "sales rep", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "user-friendly", "tech support", "pre-installed software", "retail" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-26", "subject": "Administration", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to make a photocopy but doesn't know the access code.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "photocopier", "access code", "proprietary" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice is happy the Elbonian owners will discriminate against the men.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Yorgi", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "discrimination", "coffee wench", "coffee cup", "female", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice shows Yorgi the American custom when men ask women to fetch coffee.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Yorgi" ], "keywords": [ "coffee", "custom", "kick", "coffee cup", "hat" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Elbonians sell the company to its biggest competitor.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "owner", "competitor", "humiliation" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-30", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Liz builds a spreadsheet to compare Dilbert's and her relative qualities.", "characters": [ "Liz", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "spreadsheet", "compare", "formula", "math skills", "error", "intentional" ] }, { "date": "1995-03-31", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Alice bad-mouths the guy who worked on the project before her.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "project", "bad-mouthing", "slug", "flea", "tradition", "meeting", "brain" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants objectives from all, which he will combine.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "objectives", "sculpt", "tapestry", "business plan", "quote" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-02", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The engineers check Anne's advertising material for technical accuracy.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Anne", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "advertising material", "funny", "warning label", "dictionary", "humour", "brochure", "comedian" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-03", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for help as his laptop computer is locked up.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "laptop computer", "lock up", "reboot", "Etch-a-Sketch", "etch", "sketch", "shake" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-04", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert advises moving the company to Russia.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "relocate", "Russia", "occupational safety laws", "world map", "engineer", "heaven" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss denies the company is relocating to the South Pole.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "rumour", "relocate", "south pole", "Eskimo", "plan" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Elbonians offer incentives to companies that move to Elbonia.", "characters": [ "Elbonian", "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "relocate", "slave labour", "amnesty", "environmental regulations", "tax", "law", "regulation", "negotiate" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-07", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells Dilbert how to get something his way.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "career", "CEO", "direction", "iron fist", "verify", "name dropping" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert's cubicle is shrinking.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "status", "value", "small", "real time", "wall" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-09", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to lay off the bottom ten percent of the engineers. That includes Wally.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "rank", "layoff", "engineer", "flaw", "logic", "fire" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-10", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "The company ships ergonomic keyboards developed under the \"Big Q\" program.", "characters": [ "sales rep", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "keyboard", "quality", "customer", "ergonomics", "letter", "key" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-11", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "The company will offer upgrades to customers that need a Q on their keyboard.", "characters": [ "Boss", "sales rep" ], "keywords": [ "keyboard", "upgrade", "royal family", "letter", "quality" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-12", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "The engineers come up with a solution to the no-Q keyboard.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "media", "keyboard", "public relations", "graphics program", "semicolon", "engineer", "solution" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-13", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Dogbert suggest ways to get out of the bad publicity over the no-Q keyboards.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "media", "blame", "human nature", "wife", "keyboard" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The public wants someone to take responsibility for the keyboards with no Q.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "media", "public", "keyboard", "responsibility", "blame", "opportunity" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss apologises for shipping keyboards with no Q.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "media", "script", "apology", "keyboard", "squirrel", "television", "camera", "light", "script", "director's chair", "broccoli" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-16", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Dilbert goes for an interview and describes his biggest fault.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "interviewer" ], "keywords": [ "interview", "resume", "fault", "eat", "bathe", "corpse", "hunger" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-17", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert the financial adviser.", "synopsis": "Dogbert becomes a financial adviser.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "financial adviser", "Dogbert Deferred Earnings Fund", "conflict of interest" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-18", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert advises a man to give all his money for Dogbert to invest.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "stock", "capital gains tax", "interest rates", "income tax", "derivatives", "annuities", "contract", "ear", "invest" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-19", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert compares futures of a potential investor.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "dumpster", "Dogbert Deferred Income Fund", "mansion", "photograph", "picture", "invest" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-20", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally coordinates the move to the new office.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "move", "coordinate", "Lord Wally the Puppet Master", "cubicle assignment", "banish" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-21", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally threatens to make Loud Howard Dilbert's cubicle neighbour.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Loud Howard", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "neighbour", "soul", "laser printer" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-22", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "A voice mail for Dilbert denies the merger rumours.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "voice mail", "rumour", "merger", "stampede", "telephone", "resume" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-23", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert performs a Turing Test on new artificial intelligence software.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "Turing test", "artificial intelligence", "strategy", "motivation", "opportunity", "quality", "reorganise", "opinion" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-24", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Convicts move into empty cubicles.", "synopsis": "Empty cubicles are converted into prison cells.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "construction", "prison", "carpet", "Dogbert Construction Company", "hardhat", "blueprint", "downsize" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't think it's fair to put convicts in the spare cubicles.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "convict", "health plan", "prison", "hardhat", "blueprint" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-26", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A convict meets Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "convict" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "prison", "freak", "prisoner" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-27", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss announces convicts will no longer be housed in spare cubicles.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "convict", "complain", "pig", "opinion", "sty" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-28", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Health benefits gradually decline over the years.", "characters": [ "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "company doctor", "registered nurse", "vending machine", "aspirin", "revenue", "hammer", "mallet", "tourniquet" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-29", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert plans to convert the house into a gambling casino.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "gambling", "casino", "Dogbertland", "homeland", "vote", "green card", "blueprint", "illegal" ] }, { "date": "1995-04-30", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "A vice president is introduced to Dilbert. Dilbert shows off his raincoat made from a trash bag.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "vice president" ], "keywords": [ "communication", "e-mail", "window", "rain", "garbage bag", "raincoat" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-01", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to become a talk radio host to further his ambition for world domination.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "world domination", "talk radio", "idiot", "conservative", "mock", "question" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-02", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dogbert takes calls from dolts on his talk radio show.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "talk radio", "Crossfire", "CNN", "poor people", "orphanage", "complex", "headphones", "microphone", "loudspeaker", "radio studio" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-03", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dogbert speaks against sex after marriage on his talk radio show.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "talk radio", "sex after marriage", "consultant", "extinction", "liberal", "conservative", "get rid of people", "car radio", "book", "author" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-04", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dogbert welcomes listeners to his talk radio show, and talks about getting government off our backs.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "talk radio", "government", "regulations", "liquor", "cigarette", "firearms", "drive-thru window", "get rid of people", "car radio", "book", "author" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-05", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dogbert signs a book. Bob gives a demanding customer a twirling wedgie.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bob", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "book signing", "geography", "continents", "twirling wedgie" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-06", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dilbert retires from his media empire and invests in real estate to get people to be his puppets.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "media empire", "retire", "property", "evict", "puppet", "Kermit", "Muppet", "lease" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Seven habits of highly defective people are introduced.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "seven habits of highly defective people", "humour", "advice", "prejudice", "Barney", "Lassie", "motivate", "skeleton", "spiderweb", "cobweb", "newspaper", "sexist" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-08", "subject": "Empowerment", "synopsis": "The Boss wonders why people are putting signs on their cubicles.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "sign", "name", "conference room", "OJ Simpson", "Menendez" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-09", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Liz rate each other.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Liz" ], "keywords": [ "rate your mate", "rating scales", "replace" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-10", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert, Dogbert and a network administrator discuss frivolous communications.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "network administrator", "communication" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-11", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "Dilbert, Wally and another engineer decide how to pay for the cheque at a restaurant.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "engineer", "waitress" ], "keywords": [ "cheque", "salmon", "calculator watch", "water", "tip", "restaurant" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-12", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss provides a motivational speaker for the staff.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "speaker", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "motivational speaker", "discount speakers bureau", "slow class", "fire", "bonus" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-13", "subject": "Creativity", "synopsis": "Ratbert interviews Dogbert to write a book about successful people.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "success", "interview", "write a book", "alarm clock", "Jello", "advice", "pillow", "author" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The engineers must list their accomplishments to get raises.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "accomplishment", "favouritism", "lie", "raise", "achievement" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-15", "subject": "Administration", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss how to get approval for his business case for a web server.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "web server", "approval", "business case", "Griffin", "finance" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-16", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "The Marketing VP decides whether to approve Dilbert's business case.", "characters": [ "marketing VP", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "approval", "power", "stallion", "vice president", "wife", "business case", "sex" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-17", "subject": "Administration", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks overworked Tom to approve his business case.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Tom" ], "keywords": [ "business case", "approval", "productivity", "ignore", "paper", "doom" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-18", "subject": "Administration", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells how he distributed his business case, Dogbert says how he wants to use Dilbert's corpse.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "business case", "approval", "irrelevant", "die", "bury", "cremate", "mail" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-19", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Wally suggests eliminating the security department to improve the return-on-assets ratio.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "return-on-assets", "security", "furniture" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-20", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains the Boss never answered an e-mail.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "print", "hard copy", "papyrus", "pyramid", "UFO", "low tech" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-21", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The company's vision is clear but the business plan is confidential.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "company vision", "business plan", "confidential", "yell", "empower", "doom" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-22", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss explains the policy on employment and salaries.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "employ", "technical professionals", "industry average", "salary", "bright", "clueless" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-23", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dilbert employs Dogbert for public relations to get a raise.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "salary", "public relations", "cancer", "baby", "objectives", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-24", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dilbert sends voice-mail to the Boss at 4 A.M.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "long hours", "underwear", "voicemail", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-25", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Dogbert about his greatest accomplishment.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "accomplishment", "raise", "draft", "straw man", "re-engineer", "process", "owl", "laptop computer", "woodland habitat" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-26", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dilbert uses the Boss's ignorance to impress him.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "ignorance", "accomplishment", "Barney", "secret identity" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-27", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dilbert dreams of flying over fields of heather.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Heather", "Boss", "Alice", "CEO" ], "keywords": [ "dream", "field", "heather", "freedom", "CEO" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-28", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert is put on project BIFF -- which will increase profits without spending money or changing anything.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Project BIFF", "profit", "lava lamp", "report", "recommendation", "report" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-29", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss decides to be a hands-on manager.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "hands-on", "mouse", "mouse click", "long day", "micro manage" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-30", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert about the mandatory training for business ethics.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "training", "ethics", "decorate", "common sense" ] }, { "date": "1995-05-31", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert about the doll that looks just like him.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "doll", "emotional lift", "abuse" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-01", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Dogbert how technology allows him to work any time and anyplace.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "cell phone", "laptop computer", "driving", "restaurant", "steal", "broken" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-02", "subject": "Administration", "synopsis": "Wally tells Dilbert about Human Resources new rule for short employees.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "hat", "safety", "password", "human resources", "visibility", "aluminum foil" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-03", "subject": "Finance", "synopsis": "A finance representative tells of 20% budget cuts.", "characters": [ "finance guy" ], "keywords": [ "budget", "messenger", "success vector", "audience", "presentation", "projector", "electrical cord", "window" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-04", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Wally and Dilbert talk to a vendor whose product doesn't work.", "characters": [ "vendor", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "decision", "contract", "career", "raise", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-05", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Wally says why he wants to transfer to another department.", "characters": [ "manager", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "transfer", "dysfunctional", "support", "long distance", "resume" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-06", "subject": "Teamwork", "saga": "Dogbert the psychologist helps the dysfunctional team.", "synopsis": "The Boss hires a psychologist to help achieve peak performance in teamwork.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "psychologist", "performance", "dysfunctional", "goal", "cannibal", "workshop", "realistic", "meeting", "meetin", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-07", "subject": "Teamwork", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks the team to say what they admire about another person.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "dysfunctional", "admire", "leathery skin", "workshop" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-08", "subject": "Teamwork", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks the team to make paper dolls while blindfolded.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "dysfunctional", "paper dolls", "blindfold", "cognitive dissonance", "cry", "hug", "workshop", "scissors" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-09", "subject": "Teamwork", "synopsis": "Alice tells what she's learned at Dogbert's workshop.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "dysfunctional", "workshop", "Sanskrit", "ham radio", "divide by zero", "respect", "going first" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-10", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Wally wants the training budget increased.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "budget", "competitor", "jump ship", "downside" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-11", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "The engineers say what they've learned at a three day workshop.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "workshop facilitator" ], "keywords": [ "workshop", "budget", "paper airplane", "blindfold", "team", "hug", "love", "presentation" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-12", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss says he's off to a management retreat in the mountains.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "management retreat", "mountain", "four-star hotel", "binder" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-13", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Wally phones the mountain resort where the executives are having a retreat.", "characters": [ "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "management retreat", "mountain", "avalanche", "telephone", "yell", "shout" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-14", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert he fired the secretaries.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "re-engineer", "production", "secretary", "credenza", "fired", "feather duster" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-15", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Wally use the photocopier.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "clerical", "secretary", "photocopy", "skill", "toner" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-16", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Ratbert tells Bob he wants to be the next heavyweight boxing champion of the world.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "goal", "boxing", "small", "uncoordinated", "clueless", "slow" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-17", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dilbert is too productive so he is being moved to another cubicle.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "productivity", "cubicle", "telephone", "computer", "loser" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-18", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Ratbert has been invited to be a guest on CNN's Crossfire. Dogbert helps him prepare.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Crossfire", "CNN", "television", "opinion", "simplify", "stupid", "debate" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-19", "subject": "Finance", "synopsis": "Ratbert monitors Dilbert to look for waste and inefficiency.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cut spending", "waste", "inefficiency", "boldface", "electricity" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-20", "subject": "Finance", "synopsis": "Ratbert explains to Wally how he saves money for the Finance Department.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "reduce costs", "both sides", "hard work" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-21", "subject": "Finance", "synopsis": "Ratbert tells Dilbert a 286 PC is sufficient for his 3-D rendering needs.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ 286, "PC", "3-D", "rendering", "career" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-22", "subject": "Technology", "saga": "Computer Holy Wars.", "synopsis": "Ratbert recommends standardising on one type of computer.", "characters": [ "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "standardise", "Macintosh", "Unix", "OS\/2 warp", "holy wars", "goatee", "beret", "gestapo", "crusade" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-23", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Wally asks Catbert if he will stop the computer holy wars.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "standardise", "human resources", "director", "holy wars", "diversity", "gestapo", "crusade" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-24", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Wally encounters a condescending Unix computer user.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Unix guy" ], "keywords": [ "standardise", "holy wars", "beard", "suspenders", "Unix", "nickel", "crusade" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss overloads Alice with work, so she can't complete any of her projects.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "project", "success", "inventory", "equipment", "workload" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-26", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Saint Dogbert tries to settle which computer should be standardised upon.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Saint Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "standardise", "holy wars", "desert", "enlightenment", "Palm Springs", "endorsement", "bribe", "bishop hat", "sceptre", "paper umbrella", "mediate", "dispute", "crusade" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice to compare themselves against world-class companies.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "benchmark", "world-class", "verbs out of nouns", "engineer", "field research", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice presents her comparison of world-class companies.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "benchmark", "world-class", "compare", "potato chip", "software", "oil", "presentation", "projector", "industry" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-29", "subject": "Consultant", "saga": "Battlin' Business Units.", "synopsis": "Dogbert recommends forming internal business units to fix the company's problem.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "internal business units", "bicker", "lie", "recommendation" ] }, { "date": "1995-06-30", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces \"Battlin' Business Units\".", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "business units", "battle", "cross-charging", "undermining", "janitor", "presentation", "BBU" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-01", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "The Boss describes how forming business units has changed how the company spends its time.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "business units", "fight", "future business", "contract", "expire" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The new co-op employee is put in charge of the PTG project.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "co-op employee" ], "keywords": [ "Project PTG", "paper towel", "coffee", "tea", "co-op", "spill", "experience", "sacrifice" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-03", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Stan gloats about how engineers must charge their time to marketing.", "characters": [ "Stan", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "time", "engineer", "radiation", "reprogram", "DNA", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-04", "subject": "Marketing", "saga": "Dilbert reprograms a Marketing person's DNA to turn him into a weasel.", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Wally about altering DNA in Stan.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Stan", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "DNA", "weasel", "helix", "reprogram", "lunch", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-05", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Alice says Dilbert shouldn't have told Stan about altering his DNA.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Stan", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "DNA", "LAN", "market research", "reprogram", "power of suggestion", "weasel", "whiskers", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-06", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells Dilbert how to reverse Stan's reprogramming.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Stan" ], "keywords": [ "gullible", "DNA", "reprogram", "unverified customer anecdotes", "focus group", "weasel", "whiskers", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-07", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Dilbert describes the company's dress policy of casual Fridays.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "dress code", "casual", "Friday", "stock plunge" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-08", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to have the same teamwork as the Egyptians who built the pyramids.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "teamwork", "Egyptians", "pyramid", "slave", "UFO" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-09", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to add a person and computer to his project, but the Boss says they're too expensive.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "project", "headcount", "contract", "budget", "expense", "rent", "genius", "cancel" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-10", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants Marketing to turn his program into a product.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Stan" ], "keywords": [ "engineer", "product", "target market", "rock", "recipe", "marketeer", "progress" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-11", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Saint Dogbert wants to drive out overused jokes about the information superhighway.", "characters": [ "Saint Dogbert", "man", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "information superhighway", "joke", "stale", "roadkill", "bishop hat", "sceptre" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-12", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Liz thinks Dilbert likes his computer more than he likes her.", "characters": [ "Liz", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "like", "computer", "laptop computer", "that computer" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-13", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Stan from Marketing begin discussing a product to market.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Stan" ], "keywords": [ "marketing requirements", "reward", "doohickey", "laptop computer" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-14", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol to spell out his full title on business cards, Director of Product Enhancements.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "business card", "dope", "director", "acronym" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-15", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to make a recommendation on Project \"Zebra\".", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Project Zebra", "options", "recommendation", "naughty pictures", "Internet", "doom" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-16", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss announces a change to the corporate culture. The engineers think the worst of it.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "corporate culture", "pay", "team", "slogan", "fad", "change", "psychic" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-17", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Liz discuss Dilbert's book about computer golf.", "characters": [ "Liz", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "read", "tip", "computer golf", "simulation", "cart", "non-organic" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-18", "subject": "Creativity", "synopsis": "Wally defends his good idea.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "suggestion", "good idea", "book", "confidence" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-19", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Wally discuss what gift to get for Ted's baby shower.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "baby shower", "paper bag dress", "salt", "shaker", "cheap", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-20", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Ted unwraps presents at his baby shower.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "baby shower", "paper bag dress", "stapler", "gift" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-21", "subject": "Personal", "note": "Dilbert's Dad's first mention.", "synopsis": "Dilbert's Mom describes how they lost Dilbert's Dad.", "characters": [ "Dilbert's Mom", "Liz", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Dilbert's Dad", "lost at the mall", "Christmas", "different", "worse" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-22", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Liz is upset because Dilbert and his Mom haven't searched for Dilbert's father.", "characters": [ "Liz", "Dilbert", "Dilbert's Mom" ], "keywords": [ "Dilbert's Dad", "lost at the mall", "sale", "whine" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-23", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice discovers a document written by a committee lowers its quality.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "micro manage", "document", "sentence", "acronym", "jargon", "author", "credit", "quality", "statue", "suggestion" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-24", "subject": "Teamwork", "synopsis": "Wally and Dilbert practise small talk while the Boss is late for a meeting.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "late", "meeting", "small talk", "marketing", "fashion", "springy chair" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-25", "subject": "Creativity", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Wally describe how much life has changed since prehistoric times.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "prehistoric", "evolution", "cave", "grunt", "drawing on the wall", "whiteboard" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-26", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Wally proposes to stress-test the new product by downloading large images.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "stress-test", "network", "image files", "naughty pictures", "download" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-27", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Dilbert encourages Bob to get a job in Procurement.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "self-esteem", "procurement", "job opening", "tail" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-28", "subject": "Corporate Services", "saga": "Bob works in Procurement.", "synopsis": "Bob is introduced to his new job in Procurement.", "characters": [ "buyer", "Paul", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "procurement", "low-cost substitutes", "treasure-hunting thieves", "multimedia laptop", "Dymo labeller", "accomplishment" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-29", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Bob decides whether to add an item to the approved equipment list.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "procurement", "approved equipment list", "philosophy" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-30", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Wally and Dilbert visit the vice president because of his open door policy.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "vice president" ], "keywords": [ "open door", "policy", "aloof", "sourball", "couch", "relax", "cubicle", "spider", "security" ] }, { "date": "1995-07-31", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert ponders life and micromanagement.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "think", "micro manage", "philosophy", "irrelevant" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-01", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Ratbert the Temp.", "synopsis": "Dilbert encourages Ratbert to apply for a temp job at work.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "temp", "respect", "love", "learning curve", "office", "secretary" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Ratbert applies to be a temp employee.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "hiring person" ], "keywords": [ "temp", "interview", "candidate", "blink", "nuts", "balance of power" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert welcomes Ratbert to the company as a temp worker.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "temp", "cardboard box", "eye contact", "security guard", "company car" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Ratbert tries to raise his sense of self-worth as a temp worker.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "temp", "self-worth", "respect", "talent", "cardboard box", "eye contact", "rubber", "disease", "opera" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Ratbert demands respect as a temp worker, or at least eye contact.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "temp", "respect", "eye contact", "cardboard box", "peripheral vision" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss comes with Dilbert to see a customer and destroys the relationship.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "customer", "therapist" ], "keywords": [ "evil", "meeting", "customer", "strategy", "Internet access", "tour", "cancel", "funding", "synergy", "win-win", "couch" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-07", "subject": "Fashion", "saga": "Dress Code.", "synopsis": "Catbert creates new policies to annoy the employees.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "dress code", "insane", "policy", "employee" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-08", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Catbert explains the new company dress code to Alice.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "dress code", "insane", "casual", "Friday", "jeans", "sadism", "human resources", "panty lines", "policy" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-09", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Wally teases Alice about her one pair of tan pants.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "dress code", "casual", "Friday", "tan pants", "engineer", "twins", "polka-dot shirt" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss describes his plan to form a self-directed team.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "teamwork", "self-directed", "team", "disrespect", "hate", "micro manage", "plan", "presentation", "projector" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss describes his plan to reorganise the department into fast-moving teams.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "teamwork", "team", "fast moving", "plan", "powerless", "serf", "g-force", "experience" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows his career development plan to the Boss.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "career development", "plan", "emergency", "ping-pong", "clothes dryer", "fax", "resign", "humour", "human resources" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Marketing gets an idea to build ant farms.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "marketing guy", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "marketing", "engineer", "ant farm", "spreadsheet", "NPV", "assumption", "presentation", "doom" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-14", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert doubts his existence because of the ongoing dehumanisation from his job.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "dehumanisation", "invisible", "pager", "battery" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-15", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "Dilbert becomes invisible.", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains he's invisible, and asks Dogbert how to fix this.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "dehumanisation", "invisible", "bag on head", "fix" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-16", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dogbert advises Dilbert to carry Ratbert on his back so people can see and hear him.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "invisible", "symbiosis", "Colombian coffee", "coffee cup" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-17", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Ratbert tries to convince the Boss Dilbert is not invisible.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Boss", "beaver" ], "keywords": [ "invisible", "floating in midair", "bad attitude", "quality meeting", "squirrel" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-18", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert describes how he increased his visibility at work.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "visibility", "invisible", "increased visibility" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-19", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss goes to a meeting with other uninformed managers.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "uninformed managers" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-20", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "The Boss and a product manager discuss new features for a product.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "product manager", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "software interface", "operating system", "concurrent development", "anti-gravity", "holographic agent", "pessimism", "performance review", "omnipotent", "skull", "spine", "skeleton" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-21", "subject": "Accounting", "saga": "Dilbert visits Accounting.", "synopsis": "Dilbert's expense report was rejected by Accounting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "secretary" ], "keywords": [ "expense report", "pathetic", "philosophy", "voucher", "cave", "stalagtite", "stalagmite" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-22", "subject": "Accounting", "synopsis": "Dilbert goes to the accounting department to answer questions about his expense report.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "accounting troll" ], "keywords": [ "accounting department", "soul", "expense report", "voucher" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-23", "subject": "Accounting", "synopsis": "Dilbert answers questions about his expense report.", "characters": [ "accounting troll", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "accounting department", "idiot", "expense report", "voucher", "sadism", "rope", "hang upside-down", "lava", "humanoid", "answer" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-24", "subject": "Accounting", "synopsis": "Accounting criticises Dilbert for his meal costs on his expense report.", "characters": [ "accounting troll", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "accounting department", "meals", "expense report", "voucher", "pigeon", "stun", "briefcase", "wool", "rope", "hang upside-down", "lava" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-25", "subject": "Accounting", "synopsis": "Dogbert frees Dilbert from the accounting department.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "accounting troll", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "accounting department", "trap", "expense report", "voucher", "cap", "paradigm", "clutch", "rope", "hang upside-down", "spear", "guard", "lava" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-26", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Bob feels self-conscious because his brain is so tiny.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "brain", "tiny", "self-conscious", "ear wax" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-27", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert and Wally to make design changes to a product.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "design", "laws of physics", "radiation", "beta test" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-28", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Tina to write documentation for a product that doesn't exist yet.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "documentation", "logical guess", "Microsoft", "lock up", "tech support" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-29", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dogbert tweaks Tina about the Venus de Milo statue.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "tweak", "brittle", "insult", "Venus de Milo", "heavy objects", "tease", "gender" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-30", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dogbert tweaks Tina about the Thelma and Louise movie.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "tweak", "tease", "Thelma and Louise", "bad drivers", "Three Stooges" ] }, { "date": "1995-08-31", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dogbert tweaks Tina about technical writing.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Tina", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "tweak", "tease", "technical writer", "word processing", "organisation chart" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-01", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks the readership for their opinions on Tina the brittle tech writer.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "opinion", "rate", "brittle", "dysfunctional", "lawyer", "starship captain", "e-mail", "dignity", "art class" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-02", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Dilbert stores documents in Records Retention.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "document", "record", "trashcan", "store" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-03", "subject": "Telecommuting", "synopsis": "Dogbert distracts Dilbert while he is telecommuting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "fire", "distraction", "bathrobe", "virtual cubicle", "disturb", "productivity", "corporate vision", "principle" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-04", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss shows an inspirational poster to Wally.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "profit", "morale", "inspiration", "poster", "nature scene", "seagull", "clam" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-05", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss shows an inspirational poster to Alice.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "poster", "win-win", "inspire" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-06", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss shows an inspirational poster to Ratbert.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "inspiration", "animal research", "eagle", "prey", "reaction" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-07", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Wally wants to become a contract employee.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "hair", "quit", "contract employee", "wind", "shirt" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-08", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Alice prepares Wally for being a contract employee.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "quit", "homeless", "advice", "shopping cart", "food stamps" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-09", "subject": "Creativity", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to think creatively.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "fire hazard", "outside the box", "design", "juices" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-10", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Wally tell Jack about Project Goosefood.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Boss", "Jack" ], "keywords": [ "Project Goosefood", "hiring from competitors", "budget", "management support", "network", "disgrace" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-11", "subject": "Benefits", "synopsis": "Catbert wants to stop paying for eye-glasses.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "reduce costs", "glasses", "radial keratotomy", "squint" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-12", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to make employees empty their own trash.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "janitor" ], "keywords": [ "trash", "trashercise", "fitness", "push broom", "trashcan" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-13", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dilbert writes an E-Mail to protest emptying his own trash.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "trash", "e-mail", "quality faire", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-14", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The photocopier gets serviced.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "photocopier repairman" ], "keywords": [ "photocopier", "paper trolls", "nest", "911", "paper tray" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert gives his timesheet to a secretary.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "secretary" ], "keywords": [ "timesheet", "productivity" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants the employees to shave his head.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "shave head", "iron", "department goal", "incentive", "experience" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-17", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Wally describe new backup software to Marketing.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "marketeer" ], "keywords": [ "software", "backup", "glitter", "guidance", "schedule", "bugs", "features", "network", "modem", "QuikProtect", "sound card", "swear", "curse" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-18", "subject": "Empowerment", "synopsis": "Wally has a garage sale with office equipment.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "own the company", "office equipment", "car trunk" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-19", "subject": "Empowerment", "synopsis": "Wally describes firing the Marketing Department.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "security guard" ], "keywords": [ "own the company", "fired", "marketing", "security", "escort", "react" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-20", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert listens to voice-mail jail.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "voice mail", "press one", "telephone", "hammer", "mallet", "sales", "tech support", "answer", "question", "gullible", "optimistic", "human being" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-21", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Bob get the attention of a tech support person.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Bob", "Dogbert", "tech support problem" ], "keywords": [ "wedgie", "turban", "car" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-22", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Alice doesn't like the Boss calling people \"resources\".", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "project", "resource", "valuable asset", "human being" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-23", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss does performance evaluations by software.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "performance review", "fortune cookies", "Canada" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert give a contract to the company lawyer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "lawyer" ], "keywords": [ "logic", "contract", "lawyer", "obstruction of dogs", "absurd" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-25", "subject": "ISO 9000", "saga": "Dogbert performs an ISO 9000 on the company.", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert and Wally to review their job.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "job description", "audit", "engineer", "binder" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-26", "subject": "ISO 9000", "synopsis": "Dogbert interviews Alice for an ISO 9000 audit.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "audit", "doughnut", "laptop computer", "engineer", "slide" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-27", "subject": "ISO 9000", "synopsis": "Dogbert presents the results of an ISO 9000 audit to the Boss.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "audit", "liar", "untrained", "unattractive", "success" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-28", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Alice sits in for the Boss. Wally and Dilbert rejoice.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "relieve", "productivity", "efficiency", "crown", "sceptre", "prostrate", "worship", "attitude" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-29", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Alice asks Dilbert to find out who eats the snacks at night.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert", "mouse" ], "keywords": [ "relieve", "expense voucher", "security guard", "crown", "baseball bat", "snack" ] }, { "date": "1995-09-30", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "A mouse tests Dilbert's sense of romance and mirth.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "mouse" ], "keywords": [ "humour", "Prince", "kiss", "romance" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert discusses his salary expectations at an interview.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "interviewer" ], "keywords": [ "luck", "salary", "expectations", "fantasy", "shoulder massage", "reproduce", "honest" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says huge earnings, increased market share and no raises are on the way.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "success", "earnings", "market share", "raise", "United Way", "agenda" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-03", "subject": "Corporate Services", "saga": "Dogbert, company pilot", "synopsis": "Dogbert applies to be the pilot of the corporate jet.", "characters": [ "interviewer", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "resume", "jet pilot", "corporate jet", "ejection seat" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-04", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Captain Dogbert, pilot of the corporate jet, talks to the passenger about the training budget.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "jet pilot", "corporate jet", "training budget", "hit the ground", "airplane", "loudspeaker" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-05", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Captain Dogbert, corporate jet pilot, threatens the CEO passenger with a crash landing.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "CEO" ], "keywords": [ "jet pilot", "corporate jet", "CEO", "airplane", "loudspeaker", "microphone", "window", "tongue" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-06", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Captain Dogbert, corporate jet pilot, has good news and bad news.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "CEO" ], "keywords": [ "jet pilot", "corporate jet", "good news", "bad news", "hitting town", "airplane", "loudspeaker", "crash" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-07", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Captain Dogbert, pilot of the corporate jet, and the CEO argue over the only parachute.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "CEO" ], "keywords": [ "jet pilot", "corporate jet", "crash", "parachute", "Harvard", "MBA", "knapsack", "old joke" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert discovers a primitive doughnut-scavenging man in a meeting room.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "primitive man" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "doughnut", "yellow sticky note", "gods", "meeting notice", "RIF", "ancestor", "headband" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-09", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss says they'll succeed if they know who their competitors are.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "success", "competitor", "salary", "promote", "competition" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-10", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to pitch in with Dilbert's project, but doesn't know how.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "project", "involved" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-11", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to know how to program, to help out on the project.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "project", "GUI", "gooey", "object-oriented", "gun", "blast" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert revises the project end date since the Boss decided to pitch in.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "project", "timeline", "flashlight", "cold sun", "sweater", "schedule" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Catbert explains his new policy for getting rid of complaining employees.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "human resources", "policy", "complain", "hole", "sand", "explanation" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "An employee wants to see a company counsellor but Catbert has other plans.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "employee" ], "keywords": [ "human resources", "counsellor", "stress", "ball of yarn", "reengineer" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dogbert describes why he wants to be the new long range planner.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "long range", "planner", "flex-time", "Internet", "telecommute", "relocate", "performance", "budget" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-16", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "A lady wonders if she's wearing enough fragrance.", "characters": [ "woman", "Wally", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "fragrance", "perfume", "compliment", "cloud", "dosage" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-17", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Dogbert subtly asks a lady to cut down on the perfume.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "perfume", "fragrance", "gas mask", "hog rendering", "cloud", "humour" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-18", "subject": "Fashion", "saga": "Dogbert goes to heaven and back", "synopsis": "Dogbert strongly asks a lady to cut down on the perfume.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "perfume", "fragrance", "CPR", "gas mask", "cloud", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-19", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dogbert wonders why he is admitted to Heaven.", "characters": [ "Angel", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Heaven", "standards", "halo", "Frisbee" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-20", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "The Angels send Dogbert to Earth on a mission to help people in need.", "characters": [ "Angel", "Wally", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Heaven", "angel", "mission", "power", "hair", "buns of steel", "halo", "price sheet" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-21", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells Dilbert about his Heavenly mission.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "angel", "mission", "power", "aim", "halo", "restaurant", "breasts", "boobs" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-22", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss describes their biggest obstacle to success.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "graphic", "obstacle", "communication", "participate", "success", "presentation", "projector" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-23", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "The Angels revoke Dogbert's Angel status.", "characters": [ "Angel", "Dogbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "angel", "mission", "healing", "ugly", "halo", "beautiful" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wonders why he is flying through third-world countries on his way to New York.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "fly", "book", "third-world country", "rebel", "Red Cross", "insurrection", "rebellion", "target", "bullseye", "symbol" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert worries because he's assigned to a fun and valuable project.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Carl" ], "keywords": [ "fun", "valuable", "project", "moron" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss why he's assigned to the same task as three other people.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "internal competition", "cauliflower", "project", "brain", "bet" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert retrieves information for his redundant project.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "redundant", "project", "binder", "cubicle", "information" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-28", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally puts down Dilbert for using binders to increase the size of his cubicle.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "woman", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "binder", "cubicle", "raise", "status", "illegal" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-29", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert quests for staples.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Helen", "Wally", "Alice", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "stapler", "office supplies", "teamwork", "secretary", "green ink", "blue", "catalogue" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-30", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The real reason for reorganisations.", "characters": [ "Chuck", "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "reorganisation", "unhappiness", "focus", "core business", "boots", "bad decision" ] }, { "date": "1995-10-31", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Wally asks the Boss why the company is reorganising.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "reorganisation", "focus", "core business", "failure", "flat tire" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-01", "subject": "Administration", "saga": "Wally is assigned to two bosses.", "synopsis": "Catbert tells Wally about the new reporting structure with different bosses.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "human resources", "sadism", "boss", "dotted line", "status report", "stapler", "suicide", "objectives" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert consoles Wally after Wally gets assigned two bosses.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "dotted line", "report", "rival", "double-agent", "execute", "capture" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-03", "subject": "Corporate Services", "saga": "Dogbert Corporate Art Source", "synopsis": "Dogbert provides paintings for the office walls.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "art", "painting", "wall", "frame", "pound", "weight", "art catalogue", "brochure" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-04", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Dogbert describes his art supply contract.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Ratbert", "Bob", "artist" ], "keywords": [ "contract", "art", "bid", "search", "painting", "paint brush", "paint pallet", "beret", "school" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants Dilbert to add a date to each page of the presentation package.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "presentation", "date", "transparency", "error", "brain", "explain" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-06", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Ratbert offers his services as a personal digital assistant.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "personal digital assistant", "pen", "message", "handwriting", "PDA", "stomach" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-07", "subject": "ISO 9000", "synopsis": "ISO 9000 requires the coffee maker be labelled.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "stupid label guy" ], "keywords": [ "coffee machine", "label", "sign" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert says his new user product still has problems.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "project", "yellow light", "lock up", "fiction", "manual", "Dummies book", "interface" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-09", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Saint Dogbert attacks an over-promoted database guru spouting useless concepts.", "characters": [ "database guru", "Saint Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "demon", "stupid", "guru", "database", "code", "bishop hat", "sceptre", "suspenders", "monster", "source code", "programmer" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert how long it will take to fix problems in the beta product.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "problem", "beta", "schedule", "manager", "engineer", "logic" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert describes why he likes making complex transparencies.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "transparency", "acronym", "communication", "complex", "presentation", "projector" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-12", "subject": "Benefits", "synopsis": "Catbert describes the total compensation plan, where benefits go up and salary goes down.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "compensation", "salary", "blood pressure", "belly", "health benefits" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-13", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Bonus for software bugs found and fixed.", "synopsis": "The Boss pays a ten-dollar bonus for every bug found and fixed.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "bug", "software", "bonus", "rich", "celebrate", "behaviour", "programming", "quality" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Ratbert does a rat dance on Dilbert's keyboard so there are lots of bugs to fix.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "bug", "software", "bonus", "web browser", "rat dance", "keyboard", "programming" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-15", "subject": "Teamwork", "synopsis": "Wally becomes an agent of change.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "accomplishment", "agent of change", "behaviour", "cynicism" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-16", "subject": "Teamwork", "synopsis": "Alice gets upset at a bearded road apple for answering questions with irrelevant stories.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "punch cards", "fishing", "road apple", "irrelevant story", "space-time continuum", "suspenders", "time travel" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss shows off his technical knowledge.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "SQL", "database", "trade magazine", "advertisement", "colour", "mauve", "purple", "RAM" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss becomes more proactive and fires Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "proactive", "fired" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-19", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to ship 2 months early, host press tours and freeze the budget.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "ship early", "shareholder meeting", "prototype", "demo", "budget", "gizmo", "feature", "hesitate" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-20", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Dogbert, the consultant, recommends a reorganisation.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "reorganisation", "core competency", "whine" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-21", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dogbert demonstrates how to inform employees their jobs will be outsourced.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "outsource", "stoop", "ergonomics", "kick", "trashcan" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-22", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally and Dilbert complain about the new keyboard-on-the-floor policy.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "keyboard", "policy", "floor", "stoop", "kick", "explain" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-23", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The company decides to outsource all the functions they're not any good at.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "outsource", "function" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-24", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Wally wonders why people wash their bath towels.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "hygiene", "bath", "towel", "wash", "hug", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss buys a stamp every day.", "characters": [ "Boss", "secretary" ], "keywords": [ "post office", "stamp", "float", "letter", "efficiency" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-26", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "A salesman gets to know Dilbert's place in the company.", "characters": [ "sales rep", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "decision maker", "president", "cubicle", "coffee stain", "decision", "elevator", "whiteboard", "competitor" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-27", "subject": "Tech Support", "saga": "Dilbert's Internet connection isn't working", "synopsis": "Dilbert's password for the network isn't working.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "sysadmin" ], "keywords": [ "password", "network", "help request", "e-mail" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-28", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Catbert for therapy because his Internet connection isn't working.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "human resources", "Internet", "yarn", "therapy", "rope", "team", "network", "dysfunctional" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-29", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Wally and Alice taunt Dilbert because he is not connected to the network.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "network connection", "haves and have nots", "competitive", "french fry", "e-mail", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1995-11-30", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Liz to fulfil a need.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Liz" ], "keywords": [ "network connection", "dating", "needs", "book" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-01", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "The Boss gives training material to the tech support folks.", "characters": [ "Boss", "tech support person" ], "keywords": [ "ship product", "training", "monk", "training material", "Pig Latin", "fight" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-02", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert's Detective Agency videotapes the Boss's orders for later proof.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Boss", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "orders", "detective", "happiness", "advertisement", "television", "camcorder", "video camera", "video tape" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-03", "subject": "Overwork", "synopsis": "The janitor describes to Alice how he gets overtime pay.", "characters": [ "Alice", "janitor" ], "keywords": [ "overtime", "pay", "fishing", "stimulation", "vacuum cleaner", "exempt" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-04", "subject": "Sales", "saga": "An attractive sales rep sways Dilbert and Wally.", "synopsis": "A sales rep hypes her looks as a selling feature.", "characters": [ "sales rep", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "vendor", "inferior technology", "attractive", "field support", "brochure" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-05", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Alice complains about selecting a vendor because of the sales rep's looks.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "vendor", "field engineer", "maintenance" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-06", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Dogbert goes right to the Boss to sell hardware at half price.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "vendor", "sales", "hardware", "contract", "price sheet", "upgrade" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-07", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains to the Boss he bought a low-cost system instead of the recommended one.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "hardware", "low cost", "objectives", "fired", "bonus" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-08", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Dogbert flaunts his new power over the engineers.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "hardware", "power", "upgrade", "multi-vendor", "take a number", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-09", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains the low cost system must be upgraded.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "low cost", "under-powered", "upgrade", "lease", "contract" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-10", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dogbert, help desk operator, explains how to make a pie chart.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "help desk", "pie chart", "manual", "reengineer", "telephone headset", "oven", "flour", "bake", "novel" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants a letter e-mailed, faxed and mailed.", "characters": [ "Boss", "secretary" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "fax", "mail", "paperless office", "clueless" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for status reports from the engineers.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "status report", "communication", "acronym", "monotone", "meeting", "idealise" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-13", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Dilbert buys a modem, but the salesman doesn't want to sell.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "sales rep", "cashier" ], "keywords": [ "modem", "specs", "interface", "commission", "computer store", "shelf", "gizmo", "cash register" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-14", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "A senior associate starts to realise what job she really does.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "secretary" ], "keywords": [ "senior associate", "clerical", "employee", "secretary" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally and Dilbert compare their jobs to religious initiates.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "religion", "initiative", "task", "ego", "bow", "prostrate", "worship" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-16", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert describes his secret handshake.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "handshake", "ruling class", "DNRC" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss explains to Alice policy requires vacation days to be used.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "vacation", "policy", "project", "meeting", "kudos", "artificial", "target", "mutual exclusion", "frustration", "superstar" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-18", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "The new company slogan is \"Everybody is in Sales\".", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "slogan", "friend", "meeting" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-19", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to sell a primary rate circuit to his Mom.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's Mom" ], "keywords": [ "primary rate circuit", "frame relay", "web server", "sewing room", "packet data", "tough sale" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-20", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert brings Dogbert in for the \"Bring your Dog To Work Day\".", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "dog", "bring your dog to work", "firewall", "personnel records", "hack", "security" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-21", "subject": "Administration", "synopsis": "Dogbert hacks into the payroll computer to give Dilbert a raise.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "payroll", "hack", "ethics", "raise", "quality of work" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-22", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dogbert says promotions happen because of failure.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "business plan", "failure", "promotion", "cynicism", "success", "experience", "blush" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-23", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for an additional ten million dollars.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "project", "failure", "recognition", "breath mints" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-24", "subject": "Bureaucracy", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders why there is so much typing for a flight check-in.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "ticket agent", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "vacation", "airline", "reservation", "seat assignment", "ear", "boarding pass", "luggage", "goddess of flight", "author", "novel" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-25", "subject": "Entrepreneur", "synopsis": "Wally gets a 900 phone number to give advice.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "900 telephone number", "advice", "voicemail" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally presents his living document.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "living document", "update", "document", "meeting" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-27", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert cleans his cubicle.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "tidy", "cubicle", "maid", "fantasy", "dust rag", "spray cleaner", "trash", "cleanliness" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-28", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert proclaims himself King Dogbert, ruler of the Internet.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "king", "Internet", "individuality", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-29", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert registers software by modem.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "software", "registration", "modem", "credit card", "virus", "marketing", "shotgun", "shell", "ammo", "ammunition" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-30", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dogbert issues a correction about the term \"Ant Farm\".", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "correction", "ant farm", "law school", "habitat" ] }, { "date": "1995-12-31", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to run the inventory database over the e-mail system.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "inventory database", "e-mail", "stupid", "nuclear power", "explanation", "good", "evil" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-01", "subject": "Feminism", "synopsis": "Complaints about Tina bring the introduction of Antina the non-stereotypical woman.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Antina", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "stereotype", "opinion", "character", "tech writer", "female", "balance", "math" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-02", "subject": "Feminism", "note": "Dilbert's tie lays flat.", "synopsis": "Antina demonstrates her non-stereotypical nature: pickiness about specs, coffee machine tinkering.", "characters": [ "Antina", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "stereotype", "tie lays flat", "monitor", "coffee machine" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-03", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Ted really isn't smart enough to grow a beard: it comes out pointy on his forehead -- he's a manager.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Ted", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "manager", "intelligence", "beard", "forehead" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-04", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Ted is promoted to manager for growing a pointy beard from his forehead.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ted", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "manager", "beard", "opinion", "forehead", "punish" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-05", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Ted wants to pick a \"pet\" employee -- Alice pushes him down the stairs.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "manager", "beard", "pet", "murder", "forehead", "spin", "stairs" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-06", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Ted is now a \"lifeless evil entity\" just in time for performance reviews.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "manager", "performance review", "evil entity", "injury", "stairs", "soul" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-07", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Despite plenty of space, Dilbert must share his cubicle because the Boss is charged for space used.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "cowboy" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "roommate", "baked beans", "doom", "good news", "office", "finance department", "false savings", "square dance", "stereo", "cowboy hat" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-08", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "It hurts Alice at the performance review she killed Ted and he became an evil entity.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "performance review", "evil entity", "stairs", "tail", "forked tongue", "fang", "cross", "crucifix", "politics" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-09", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dogbert advises a stake through Ted's heart; Alice has enthusiasm for the plan.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "evil entity", "stake", "possessed", "advice", "heart" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-10", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Alice can't hit Ted's \"raisin size\" heart with several pens; asks Wally for more.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "evil entity", "stake", "heart", "possessed", "demon", "pen" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-11", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't want to give out his credit card number over the Internet, but is perfectly happy giving it to the waitress.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Liz", "waitress" ], "keywords": [ "society", "Internet", "credit card", "unscrupulous", "fur coat", "restaurant", "dating", "common sense", "wine" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-12", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Camping Carl comes to visit Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Camping Carl", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "visit", "monologue", "laugh", "escape tunnel", "woe", "trapdoor", "cubicle" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-13", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally races to the shared laser printer to get his printout before anyone sees it.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "laser printer", "Apollo 13", "invention", "cursor", "resume" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-14", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Wally complains about the Boss's bad estimating.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "management", "estimate", "resource", "leadership", "budget", "incompetence", "status report", "performance", "defence", "offence", "schedule", "productivity", "expectation" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-15", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert 2000, an operating system.", "synopsis": "Dogbert creates \"Dogbert 2000,\" an operating system remarkably similar to Windows 95.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "computer", "software company", "Dogbert 2000", "Windows 95", "operating system", "Microsoft", "logo" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-16", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert plans to dance and gloat after he makes his billions from his software company.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "computer", "software company", "dance", "rich", "obnoxious", "charity", "fine arts", "song" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-17", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants a computer vendor to bundle his operating system... or else.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "computer vendor" ], "keywords": [ "computer", "Dogbert 2000", "bundle", "unit", "market", "product", "Bill Gates", "glasses" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-18", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert meets with software developers to tell them about his operating system, Dogbert 2000. The developers are more interested in his toys.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert 2000", "developer", "market", "toy", "industry", "computer", "silicon", "foam", "plastic", "presentation", "projector", "laptop computer", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-19", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert says he's happy about his empire getting him twenty billion dollars.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "computer", "software empire", "Dogbert 2000", "wealth", "happy", "sunset", "license", "digital rights" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-20", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Bob babysat the Morton triplets, even though it wasn't easy to juggle them.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bob", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "babysit", "triplet", "juggle", "scream", "toddler", "ceiling fan", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-21", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert requires everyone to strap a broom to their buttocks.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally", "Boss", "marketeer" ], "keywords": [ "human resources", "director", "e-mail", "janitor", "broom", "buttock", "marketing", "cookie", "diabolical" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-22", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces the top ten percent of employees will get bonuses.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "compensation plan", "bonus", "resignation", "impact" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-23", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert creates technology to prevent kids from seeing porn on the Internet.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "smut", "porn", "Internet", "intelligence", "sex drive", "snowball", "hell", "hat", "teenager" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-24", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets Matt to test his pornography blocker.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice", "Matt" ], "keywords": [ "test", "porn", "dirty picture", "Internet", "curious", "brilliant", "eyeball", "pop" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-25", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dogbert to get rid of their most troublesome customers.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "trouble", "customer", "cost", "service", "injury", "unpack" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-26", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dogbert gives the technical support group an unlisted phone number.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "service", "cost", "unlisted telephone number", "e-mail", "friend", "presentation", "projector", "laptop computer" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains to the Boss they either dace a lawsuit or a useless product.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "vendor", "television", "lawsuit", "choice", "request", "impractical", "solution" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-28", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Dogbert helps write job requirements for Dilbert's job.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "job requirement", "apply", "loyalty", "micro manage", "cynicism", "abnormal", "cubicle", "physical" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-29", "subject": "Project", "saga": "Air traffic control system project.", "synopsis": "The Boss announces they won the bid for the air traffic control systems.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "bid", "air traffic control", "celebration", "stock", "bus", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-30", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dogbert leads the air traffic control project.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert Consulting Company", "leadership", "attitude", "chum", "intelligence", "leadership" ] }, { "date": "1996-01-31", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Wally writes program code for the new air traffic control system.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "software", "program", "code", "reuse", "payroll", "air traffic control", "lunch", "pay day" ] }, { "date": "1996-02-01", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dogbert says the new air traffic control system is on time and under budget.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "leadership", "air traffic control", "cut corners", "clock", "button", "budget", "feature creep", "radar", "schedule", "danger" ] }, { "date": "1996-02-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Everybody helps the shipping department to ship whatever is laying around.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "shipping department", "revenue", "fiscal year", "inventory", "gum", "cardboard box", "vending machine" ] }, { "date": "1996-02-03", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss sends his first e-mail message.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "bright", "message", "time" ] }, { "date": "1996-02-04", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to explain to his mom what he does for a living: engineer, knowledge worker.", "characters": [ "Dilbert's Mom", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "engineer", "knowledge worker", "expert", "meeting", "product", "acronym", "ROI", "cookie", "punctual" ] }, { "date": "1996-02-05", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dogbert discovers some deadwood causing project delays.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "deadwood", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "delay", "cause", "contributor", "call", "information" ] }, { "date": "1996-02-06", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice to lock up proprietary documents.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "competitor" ], "keywords": [ "proprietary", "document", "cubicle", "competitor", "synergy" ] }, { "date": "1996-02-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice complains she doesn't have enough storage space.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "storage space", "proprietary", "document", "monument", "inefficiency", "file cabinet" ] }, { "date": "1996-02-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss shortens the time on Dilbert's project.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "project", "objectives", "confidence", "estimate", "motivation" ] }, { "date": "1996-02-09", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss moves the due date up on Wally's project.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "project", "due date", "objective", "performance", "set", "achieve" ] }, { "date": "1996-02-10", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains about too many passwords.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "password", "withdraw", "telephone", "message", "support", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1996-02-11", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Dogbert philosophises great things are created from simple components.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "combination", "molecule", "chemical", "cell", "component", "supreme being", "Internet", "God", "life form", "future", "origin", "web browser" ] }, { "date": "1996-02-12", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert summons Phil to help reduce employees' time off.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Phil" ], "keywords": [ "time off", "demon", "darkness", "sick day", "vacation", "time bank", "cruel", "pitchspoon" ] }, { "date": "1996-02-13", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Catbert can't tear himself away from the top of a computer because it's an excellent butt-warming device.", "characters": [ "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "computer", "torment", "butt-warming device", "hype", "Windows 95" ] }, { "date": "1996-02-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "A new co-op employee shares a cubicle with the other co-ops.", "characters": [ "Boss", "co-op employee", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "employee", "fit", "sardine" ] }, { "date": "1996-02-15", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Employment agreement.", "synopsis": "Dilbert must sign an employment agreement or be fired.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "standard employment agreement", "fire", "sign", "pudding head", "attitude", "lawyer", "rabies", "contract" ] }, { "date": "1996-02-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The engineers complain about being forced to sign the standard employment agreement.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "standard employment agreement", "sign", "property", "firstborn", "copyright", "DNA", "derivative works", "contract" ] }, { "date": "1996-02-17", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert helps Dilbert get out of the standard employment agreement.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "standard employment agreement", "right", "idea", "proofread", "dishonesty", "waiver", "contract" ] }, { "date": "1996-02-18", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains his project time line: work, meeting, bids, and approval.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "time line", "schedule", "bid", "wisdom", "reorganisation", "leap", "fund", "presentation", "projector", "laptop computer", "suicide", "kill" ] }, { "date": "1996-02-19", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss tries to find the cause of an increase in expenses.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "3-D", "pie chart", "expense", "binder", "magic eye", "presentation", "projector", "colour copies" ] }, { "date": "1996-02-20", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Elbonian software development.", "synopsis": "The Boss moves the software development process to Elbonia.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "software development", "Elbonia", "code", "alert", "computer", "pretend", "cardboard box" ] }, { "date": "1996-02-21", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss puts Dilbert in charge of integrating Elbonian software with the existing systems.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "software development", "Elbonia", "integration", "tuberculosis", "vaccination" ] }, { "date": "1996-02-22", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert checks the Elbonian software.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "software development", "contract", "documentation", "write", "read" ] }, { "date": "1996-02-23", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Elbonians explain their software development methodology.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Elbonian", "pig" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "software development", "methodology", "skill", "juggle", "slam", "roller skate", "meeting", "boast", "curse", "laptop computer" ] }, { "date": "1996-02-24", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains the cost of the Elbonian software development.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "software development", "debug", "quality assurance", "mime", "presentation", "projector" ] }, { "date": "1996-02-25", "subject": "Bureaucracy", "synopsis": "The invoice payment trail is explained.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Carol", "Boss", "troll", "mail clerk" ], "keywords": [ "embarrassment", "invoice", "mail room", "urgent", "time", "accounts payable", "reputation", "butler", "letter" ] }, { "date": "1996-02-26", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "All Dilbert's shirts either has a stain or is missing a button.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "shirt", "stain", "button", "tie", "marinara", "closet", "clothes" ] }, { "date": "1996-02-27", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Wally and Dilbert want to build a database to solve the problem.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "report", "problem", "tracking database", "network" ] }, { "date": "1996-02-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Without knowing the problem, Wally and Dilbert want to build a database to solve it.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "problem", "database", "coffee mug", "project", "team", "slogan" ] }, { "date": "1996-02-29", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Dogbert to chair some meetings to fix process problems.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "facilitate", "process", "chair", "product development", "preplan", "death spiral", "project name" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-01", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Dogbert, facilitating a meeting, allows no one to speak.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "facilitate", "chair", "power", "exercise", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-02", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Dogbert thinks the meeting went smooth because he ran it.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "facilitate", "smooth", "breakthrough", "silence", "dolt", "brilliant" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert interviews a new candidate while trying not to reveal what really goes on.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Jennifer", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "interview", "candidate", "empowerment", "phrase", "quality team", "dignity", "truth", "dignity", "decision", "shield", "hull breach", "jettison", "escape pod", "Star Trek" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for an executive summary to the report and to keep it simple.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "report", "executive summary", "technology", "car", "AAA", "road service", "uphill" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dogbert shows how to summarise a fifty page proposal into one paragraph.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "report", "executive summary", "CEO", "proposal", "technology", "resume", "customer" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-06", "subject": "Project", "saga": "Premature product demo.", "synopsis": "The VP wants a demo of the new product.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "demo", "VP", "product", "ship date", "morale", "quality", "objective", "banner" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-07", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "For the product demo, Wally pretends to be the computer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "demo", "cut corners", "3-D", "fuzzy", "shaver", "table", "computer monitor", "mock up", "razor" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-08", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The VP arrives for the product demo.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Phil", "VP" ], "keywords": [ "demo", "interface", "demon", "product", "peon", "dark angel", "table", "computer monitor", "mock up" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-09", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The product demo to the VP goes horribly wrong.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Phil", "Boss", "VP" ], "keywords": [ "demo", "demon", "sham", "doom", "fund", "file server", "dark angel", "computer monitor", "table", "mock up", "porn" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "A technical decision is summarised many times as it goes up the ladder.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "executive director" ], "keywords": [ "Mysteries Revealed", "ceiling tile", "technology", "decision", "recommend", "summary", "bullet point", "stock options", "CNN", "presentation", "projector", "television" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-11", "subject": "Creativity", "saga": "Dilbert and Wally run a side business.", "synopsis": "An automatic defence system activates when Dilbert and Wally have an idea.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "idea", "product", "hammer", "helmet", "Crush-o-Matic", "side business", "loudspeaker", "robot arm", "hammer", "mallet" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-12", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Wally want to start their own business since the company won't use their idea.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "product", "idea", "side business", "quit", "cubicle", "immoral", "hell" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks employees not run side businesses from their cubicles.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "side business", "cubicle", "sign", "advertisement", "Yellow Pages", "billboard" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-14", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Wally hire Ratbert as director of marketing.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ratbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "side business", "director", "annoy", "illogical", "salary" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-15", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert will finance Dilbert and Wally's side business.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "business plan", "venture capital", "side business", "media hype", "investor", "prospectus", "Latin" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Wally tell the Boss about their side business.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "side business", "rich", "victory jig", "employee agreement", "patent", "moon" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-17", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert offers ethics advice on customer relations and shipping defective products.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "ethics", "customer", "product", "bug", "kick", "quality", "sofa", "couch" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-18", "subject": "Office Politics", "note": "Asok's first appearance.", "saga": "Asok the intern.", "synopsis": "The new intern, Asok, is introduced.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "intern", "toss", "staple remover", "sturdy" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-19", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok's assignments won't be glamorous, Dilbert says.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "intern", "assignment", "experience", "status report", "mouse pad", "inventory", "danger" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-20", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice asks Asok to crawl through the Jeffries Tube to shut down the furnace.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "intern", "emergency", "jeffries tube", "furnace", "stuck", "Star Trek", "spank", "ventilation", "shaft", "duct" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-21", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The engineers are given an assignment and the men smell unnecessary work.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "presentation", "executive review board", "scent of unnecessary work", "meeting", "popcorn for the soul", "work avoidance" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-22", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice wonders why Dilbert isn't busy preparing his presentation for the executive review board.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "presentation", "work avoidance", "chromosome", "sleep", "executive review board" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-23", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice tests the theory men can sense unnecessary work.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "chromosome", "theory", "intern", "perceptive", "arousal", "work avoidance", "smell", "unnecessary work" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice worked all night for an analysis for the Boss and he only wants it for backup material for a meeting.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "analysis", "meeting", "compliment", "backup", "pointy hair", "fling", "naked", "performance review" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-25", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "The new product is ready to ship but Marketing wants to add more features.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "marketing guy", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "product", "ship", "feature", "hardware", "software", "psychopath" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-26", "subject": "Project", "saga": "Department newsletter.", "synopsis": "The Boss assigns Tina, Asok and Ratbert to work on the department newsletter.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Tina", "Asok", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "newsletter", "high profile", "intern", "raise", "sports", "topless model", "performance" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-27", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Tina tells Asok and Ratbert she will be the editor of the newsletter since she is an experienced writer.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Asok", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "newsletter", "intern", "editor", "executive editor", "publisher" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-28", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Tina interviews Dilbert for the company newsletter.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "newsletter", "quip", "fallopian tube", "background", "interview", "boredom" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-29", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Tina asks Wally to write about his project for the newsletter.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "newsletter", "tradition", "engineer", "priority", "despise", "moment", "dating" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-30", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "Tina's performance review goes badly because of the unimportant department newsletter.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "accomplishment", "newsletter", "raise", "boredom", "teamwork" ] }, { "date": "1996-03-31", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss gives a bonus to Barry, an idiot, for working overtime.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Barry", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "presentation", "bonus", "overtime", "recognition", "effort", "budget", "screen saver", "epic", "miniseries" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-01", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Laptop computers are given to the sales force without training.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "sales rep", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "sales", "laptop computer", "training budget" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-02", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert turns Ratbert into a corporate vice president.", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to be a vice president. Dogbert bets he can make a rat into one.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "vice president", "ivy league", "reorganisation", "bet", "mirror", "core competency" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-03", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Ratbert tries to pass himself off as a vice president.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "vice president", "bet", "rodent", "action plan", "headcount", "quality" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-04", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Ratbert is interviewed for vice president of Marketing.", "characters": [ "man", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "vice president", "marketing", "dumpster" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-05", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Ratbert introduces his marketing plan.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert", "reporter", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "vice president", "marketing", "columnist", "press", "cat" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-06", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Ratbert tells Dilbert he quit his job as vice president.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "vice president", "scruples" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets sucked into the boss zone, where time and logic do not apply.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Boss Zone", "urgent", "logic", "work smarter not harder", "cynicism", "angel", "disembodied head", "freedom", "quality" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces the executive review board meeting is cancelled.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "executive review", "board meeting", "Nostradamus", "headcount" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-09", "subject": "Technology", "saga": "Dilbert is sentenced to death for losing his cool.", "synopsis": "A soda machine takes Dilbert's coins.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "soda machine", "vending machine", "coin", "sunny disposition", "dignity", "career" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-10", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "The company no longer offers counselling for Dilbert who went nuts at the vending machine.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "vending machine", "money", "counsellor", "death sentence", "microwave" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-11", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dilbert seeks sympathy as he tells Dogbert about his death sentence.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "vending machine", "death sentence", "tragic news", "execute", "newspaper", "sick day" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-12", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "Dogbert reasons with Catbert to get Dilbert off the hook.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Catbert", "Dilbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert versus Catbert", "death sentence", "fur wedgie", "pardon" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-13", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice reads a job posting for a job she'd love.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "job posting", "bronco", "pantyhose", "experience" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dogbert defends Dilbert's proposal against the changes the Boss made.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "engineering proposal", "masters degree", "art history", "scratch n sniff", "change", "electrical engineering", "technology publication", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss adds another person to Alice's project.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "manager" ], "keywords": [ "overwork", "manager", "schedule", "status report", "3-D" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "A dog detects wasted resources.", "characters": [ "manager", "dog" ], "keywords": [ "dog", "resource", "schedule", "arrow", "pointer" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Carol points out 40% of all sick days are taken on Fridays and Mondays.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "sick days", "Friday", "Monday", "idiot", "math" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says it is unacceptable for 40% of sick days to be taken on Fridays and Mondays.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "sick days", "Friday", "Monday", "kidding", "hell" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-19", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dogbert uses poetry and dance to fulfil the employees creatively.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "spiritually fulfilled", "poem", "dance", "soul", "swami hat" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-20", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks how well his special poems and dances are working.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Alice", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "poem", "dance", "well being", "money", "primal scream", "invoice", "swami hat" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-21", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Ken destroys a product line by over-promising upgrades.", "characters": [ "Ken", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "product line", "version", "commission", "competitor", "promote" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-22", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Catbert entices Wally to quit and reapply for his old job.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "pay", "new employee", "salary", "catnip" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-23", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally considers resigning and reapplying for his old job.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "resign", "unqualified", "engineer", "co-worker", "friend", "salary", "coffee machine" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-24", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "A marketeer presents her plan to a dubious audience.", "characters": [ "marketeer", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "marketing plan", "generalities", "glamour career", "dictionary" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-25", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Dilbert exposes a rat to the company's marketing plan.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "marketing plan", "expose a rat", "adverse reaction", "brain tumour" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-26", "subject": "Administration", "synopsis": "Dilbert hands his timesheet in two days prior to the period end.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "timesheet", "clerical", "annoy", "deadline" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-27", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Wally shows Alice his work avoidance device.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "work avoidance", "pager", "meeting", "vending machine" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces record profits and hands out T-shirts.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "record profits", "profit", "t-shirt", "slave labour", "career expectations", "small", "petite", "elfin", "logo", "slave labour" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Catbert gives Wally employee orientation.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "employee orientation", "training video", "hope", "VCR", "television" ] }, { "date": "1996-04-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally reports on a week of accomplishments after watching training videos.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "accomplishment", "proactive", "diversity", "training video", "free will" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-01", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally asks Alice to test his reactions after watching a sexual harassment video.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "sexual harassment", "evolution", "video", "sexy", "ignore", "coffee cup" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-02", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells the Boss the token fell out of his token ring network connection.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "network connection", "token ring", "Ethernet", "network cable", "local area network", "LAN" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss eliminates a few steps in order to hit the market window.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "market window", "market research", "technical testing", "overhead", "bird" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-04", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "Wally presents his budget estimates to the Boss.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "indecision", "capital", "orgy", "acquisition" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to move cubicles so the group will form a square pattern.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "square pattern", "downtime", "downsize", "symmetry", "business card" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-06", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally lowers the quality of his work to match his salary.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "compensation", "quality of work", "raise", "equilibrium", "salary" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-07", "subject": "Benefits", "synopsis": "Catbert describes the company's new cafeteria style benefits.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "cafeteria", "health care", "entree", "diagnosis", "cannibalism" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-08", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert becomes a career counsellor.", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to try his paw at being a career counsellor.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "career counsellor", "advice", "self-reliant" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-09", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert counsels Wally his employer wont take care of him forever.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "career counsellor", "training", "pension", "sourball", "marble", "raise", "jar" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-10", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert helps a man decide between a career of doctor or serial killer.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "career counsellor", "organs", "doctor", "serial killer" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-11", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Tina wants to become a famous novelist.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "career counsellor", "technical writer", "novelist", "witty", "e-mail", "publish", "book", "author" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The company tries to contain costs by limiting access to office supplies.", "characters": [ "Boss", "vice president", "Asok", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cost containment", "office supplies", "cabinet", "honesty", "secretary" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-13", "subject": "Management", "saga": "A rival company buys Dilbert's company.", "synopsis": "The boss announces the company is being bought by a rival.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "rival", "bought out", "layoff", "skull", "spine", "skeleton", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The staff will be reduced after the merger.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "man", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "rival", "merger", "bald", "furniture", "redundant" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-15", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dilbert becomes paralysed with fear of the pending merger.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "merger", "paralyse", "fear", "inert", "rigor mortis", "potluck", "unmotivated", "motivation", "morale" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The rival company asks for the Boss's proprietary information.", "characters": [ "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "merger", "due diligence", "proprietary", "information", "maniacal laugh", "competition" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice reveals secrets to the rival company.", "characters": [ "Alice", "man" ], "keywords": [ "merger", "secret", "class action suit", "asbestos" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-18", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert complains about diversity not covering him.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "diversity", "smart", "dolt" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-19", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert analyses people's dreams.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Boss", "man", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "dream analysis", "moron", "data compression", "gullible", "opera singer", "anti-rust sealant", "extended warranty", "lease" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-20", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert wonders whether people are worthy of his leadership.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "supreme ruler", "leadership", "ego", "worthy" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-21", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "A new policy forbids weapons or violence in the workplace.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "weapon", "violence", "permit", "benefits" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-22", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "The Boss complains about the stacks of paper on Alice's desk.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "paper", "clean desk", "ergonomics" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-23", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert taunts Dilbert about how he works, but his net worth remains constant.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "work", "net worth" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-24", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally misunderstands the act of petting a cat.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "cat", "petting", "benefits", "lunch", "selfish", "vending machine" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice \"rejoices\" over receiving a small raise.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "raise", "expectations", "small raise" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Business language is translated into every day English.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice", "cannibal", "marketeer" ], "keywords": [ "business language", "competitive", "core business", "empower", "re-engineer", "training", "market driven", "valuable asset", "crown", "kick", "window", "bone", "skull", "humour" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-27", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss takes the last cup of coffee and doesn't make more.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Phil" ], "keywords": [ "coffee", "brother", "heck", "golden boy", "coffee maker", "coffee pot", "pitchspoon", "refrigerator" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-28", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Phil and the Boss discuss their career choices.", "characters": [ "Phil", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "manager", "minor sins", "Proctor and Gamble", "home-exercise spoons", "sandwich", "pitchspoon", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-29", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Phil markets his home exercise spoon.", "characters": [ "Phil" ], "keywords": [ "exerspoon", "exercise", "store", "advertisement", "television", "pitchspoon" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-30", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A co-worker assigns work to Dilbert.", "characters": [ "man", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "assignment", "waste paper", "co-worker", "boss", "trashcan", "analysis" ] }, { "date": "1996-05-31", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally is asked to provide input on a paper.", "characters": [ "Wally", "man" ], "keywords": [ "review", "ignorage", "pile", "paper" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol to ask Dilbert to add \"walk the talk\" to his presentation.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "walk the talk", "presentation", "walkie-talkie", "big bucks", "paycheque" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-02", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Phil offers Dilbert a choice of punishments for his sins, wealth and ineffectiveness or poverty and appreciation.", "characters": [ "Phil", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "heck", "insufficient light", "pay", "poverty", "appreciation", "pitchspoon", "telecommute" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-03", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "A security guard screens Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Brainitor", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "security", "Pentium", "fragmented disk", "optimise" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-04", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks Dilbert his opinion on time.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "time", "discrete events", "perception", "magazine" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-05", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Wally discuss their rank in the company.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "sales rep" ], "keywords": [ "pond scum", "status", "torment", "vendor", "brochure" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-06", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Wally torment a vendor.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "sales rep" ], "keywords": [ "bidding", "vendor", "vendor challenge course", "t-shirt", "hula hoop" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-07", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert's Mom found Dilbert's father in a restaurant.", "characters": [ "Dilbert's Mom", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "father", "restaurant", "all you can eat", "booth", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-08", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Liz learns Dilbert's father has been found.", "characters": [ "Liz", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "father", "restaurant", "burrito", "all you can eat", "kidding" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-09", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert sets up a \"Dogbert Gullible Friends Hotline\".", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "900 telephone number", "gullible", "hot line", "advertisement", "television", "swami hat" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-10", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Liz shows Dilbert a pyrophoric substance.", "characters": [ "Liz", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "advanced materials", "pyrophoric", "gender", "injury", "cloud", "scorch", "burn" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-11", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert designs a new logo for the company.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "logo", "coffee", "design", "brown ring of quality", "coffee cup" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-12", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert shows the new logo to Dilbert and Alice.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "logo", "coffee", "sloppy", "opinion", "coffee cup" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally says the objectives are unclear and the mission statement is gibberish.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "objectives", "mission statement", "urgent", "insane" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-14", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally enjoys being insane.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "insane", "understaffed", "work smarter not harder", "healing", "cardboard box", "plant", "underwear" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-15", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "The Garbageman helps Dilbert over his depression.", "characters": [ "Garbageman", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "depressed", "drug", "exercise", "mental health", "antidepressant", "trashcan" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss decides to downsize Dilbert to keep the value of his stock options up.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "downsize", "stock options", "movie", "popcorn", "team building", "recreation" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-17", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Wally updates the Boss on the status of his action item.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "action item", "estimate", "status" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-18", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Ten injury-free days at the company comes to an ironic end.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "injury", "chair", "injury-free", "irony" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-19", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Chair safety training for all when somebody falls of his chair.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "chair", "chair safety training", "training", "presentation", "head stand", "spin", "acrobat" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-20", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Carol enrols the Boss in Clown College.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "quality", "college", "clown college", "secretaries day", "prerequisite" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-21", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dilbert has buns of steel.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Liz" ], "keywords": [ "buns of steel", "video", "steel", "weight", "magnet", "hardness", "firmness", "muscle tone" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-22", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally tests his theory about employee suggestions.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "employee suggestion", "idea", "pencil" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-23", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert creates software to be a mentor for Asok.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "mentor", "automentor", "job satisfaction", "accomplishment", "resume", "massage", "stain", "hopelessness", "artificial intelligence" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice sets some achievable objectives for herself.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "objectives", "measurable", "torso", "vital organ", "warning" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-25", "subject": "Productivity", "synopsis": "Dilbert thinks about what to do next.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "quality initiative", "joke", "cubicle", "co-worker" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-26", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert provides day care.", "synopsis": "Dogbert proposes providing day care.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "day care", "duct tape", "slobber" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-27", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert gathers requirements for his proposed day care.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "day care", "child labour", "illegal alien", "garment", "slave labour", "discount" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-28", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert's free range day care is implemented.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "kid" ], "keywords": [ "day care", "plan", "free range", "evil troll", "free range", "economical", "PowerPoint" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-29", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss improves employee satisfaction in his department.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "employee satisfaction", "survey", "satisfaction task force" ] }, { "date": "1996-06-30", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert's new D-Chip filters television's violence, dishonesty and sexual innuendo.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "D-Chip", "television", "violence", "dishonesty", "sexual innuendo", "weather", "news", "sports", "drama", "comedy", "commercial", "advertisement", "gizmo", "tool" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-01", "subject": "Engineer", "saga": "Ratbert joins the quality assurance group.", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Ratbert to apply for a position in the quality assurance group.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "quality assurance", "flaw", "friend", "hatred", "ridicule", "respect", "ship" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-02", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "Ratbert is interviewed for the job in the quality assurance group.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "quality assurance", "resume", "anal-retentive behaviour", "bonus", "salary" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-03", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "Ratbert discovers a few bugs in Wally's beta product.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "quality assurance", "beta", "bug", "severity", "bonehead", "stadium", "long list" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-04", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "The Boss complains about the number of flaws Ratbert found in the prototype.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "quality assurance", "beta", "schedule", "prototype", "angels dance" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-05", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to hold a pre-meeting.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "pre-meeting", "plan", "preliminary", "funny" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-06", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Garbageman fixed bugs in the program Dilbert threw away.", "characters": [ "Garbageman", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "diskette", "program", "bug", "resume" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss prepares for performance review by selling cookies.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "cub girl cookies", "performance review", "United Way", "chair", "downsize", "fast-track" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-08", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert will order people to run outside when he becomes supreme ruler.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "supreme ruler", "run", "exercise", "flies", "park bench" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-09", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "A salesman asks Dilbert to make more product.", "characters": [ "sales rep", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "product", "mock up", "competitor", "duct tape", "logo", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-10", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for the Boss's support at a sales meeting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "sales rep" ], "keywords": [ "management support", "sales meeting", "product", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss assigns the group to quality initiatives.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "quality", "productivity", "profit", "qualicide", "morale", "contest" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss attends a ranking and rating session with the other managers.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Dilbert", "Boss", "manager" ], "keywords": [ "rank", "rate", "salary", "raise" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-13", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Catbert asks Wally to take a blood test.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "blood test", "drug", "steal", "thief", "hypodermic needle", "syringe" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice not to make personal phone calls.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "telephone", "personal", "steal", "competitive", "daydream", "rope", "dynamite", "office supplies" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-15", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Catbert demands Wally stop enjoying his job.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "enjoying the job", "employee manual", "job satisfaction", "shriek", "pain" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-16", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to solve the problems in Liz's life.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Liz" ], "keywords": [ "problem", "solution", "broken", "bug", "requirement" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-17", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Liz rejects Dilbert's plan to solve her life's problems.", "characters": [ "Liz", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "problem", "action plan", "demented plot", "veil of ignorance", "park bench" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss hands out rings for levels of performance.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "recognition program", "precious gem", "ring", "diamond", "talc" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-19", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows his talc ring to Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "talc", "shale", "recognition program", "respect", "aluminum", "club" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-20", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice to update her objectives.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "objectives", "target", "management support" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-21", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert rates the strongest forces in the universe, starting with stupidity and ignorance.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "force", "love", "stupid", "ignorance", "lust", "fear", "back scratch", "morning breath", "bad breath", "halitosis", "selfish", "money", "luck", "foolish optimism" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-22", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert compares job security and company loyalty.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "job security", "loyalty", "bonus", "motivation" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-23", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert says he's an ignorant rat but that's OK.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "ignorance", "memory", "bliss" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice praises the Boss for letting her work independently for three months.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "empower", "decision", "project", "cancel" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-25", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "Dilbert announces the new product will be released on time, despite its defects.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "product", "defect", "hope nobody notices", "income", "mental", "assumption" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-26", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert devises a plan for ending poverty.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "poverty", "talk-show", "cops", "Dogbert Institute for Advanced Thinking" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-27", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert decides not to reason with idiots.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "idiot", "bah", "conversation", "think" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-28", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Wally to provide planning estimates for his next project.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "estimate", "budget", "project", "plan", "mirror", "trap" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-29", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert runs for supreme ruler of the universe.", "synopsis": "Dogbert announces his candidacy for supreme ruler of the universe on a talk show.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Larry King" ], "keywords": [ "supreme ruler of Earth", "Sharon Stone", "mouth", "interview", "microphone", "talk show", "suspender" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-30", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert outlines his election tax plan.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "supreme ruler of Earth", "election", "tax", "idiot" ] }, { "date": "1996-07-31", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "A lobbyist gives money to Dogbert's campaign.", "characters": [ "lobbyist", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "supreme ruler of Earth", "election", "contribution", "bribe", "prison" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-01", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert announces he's been elected Supreme Ruler of Earth.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "supreme ruler of Earth", "vote", "election", "ruler", "caning", "Olympics" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-02", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert complains people don't recognise his dominion.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "supreme ruler of Earth", "air", "oxygen", "passport", "Dogbertland", "bullhorn" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss tells the group they must be more flexible to survive.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "success", "change master", "job security", "workload", "flexibility", "morale", "adaptive", "inflation" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-04", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol to type all of his incoming voice mail messages and print out his e-mail.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "voicemail", "e-mail", "cafeteria", "bumblebee costumes", "hives", "network", "pre-chew", "engineer", "reclusive", "dress code" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-05", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "Tina sends a steamy e-mail to her boyfriend.", "synopsis": "Tina sends steamy e-mail to her boyfriend.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "love letter", "steamy", "send to all", "suggestive" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-06", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Tina wonders if her co-workers are professional enough to ignore her mistake.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Wally", "kid" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "love letter", "professional", "career day", "monkey of love", "torrid", "hide" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-07", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Catbert offers absolution for Tina's message to her boyfriend.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "petting", "belly", "resource", "boyfriend" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces peer performance reviews.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "performance review", "peer", "slander", "budget", "raise" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-09", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert compares peer reviews to the prisoner's dilemma.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "performance review", "peer", "prisoner's dilemma", "Victoria's Secret catalogue", "coed prison" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss describes an unusual interpretation of how employees are key to success.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "employee", "stock price", "fired", "incompetence", "lie", "bar chart" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss issues a quality thought of the day.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "voicemail", "quality thought for the day", "dictionary", "aardvark", "resume", "telephone", "printer", "resume" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-12", "subject": "Downsizing", "saga": "Wally is downsized.", "synopsis": "Catbert announces layoffs are coming.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "layoff", "secret", "future" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-13", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Wally is invited to participate in the mobility pool.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "layoff", "mobility pool", "dignity" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-14", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The staff act like vultures with Wally's impending layoff.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Ted", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "layoff", "chair", "survivor", "fist fight" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-15", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Wally seeks advice from Dogbert the career counsellor.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "fired", "contract", "downsize", "layoff", "parable" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-16", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Dogbert, the career counsellor, devises a plan to save Wally's job.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "layoff", "quit", "video camera", "life force", "flashlight", "camcorder" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-17", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Wally he won't be downsized.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "layoff", "smart", "quality", "downhill", "good news", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-18", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert says people are getting stupider every day.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "stupid", "complex", "learn", "information", "supreme ruler of Earth", "opinion", "firehose", "teacup" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-19", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice complains she's hit the glass ceiling.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "glass ceiling", "promotion", "play the game", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-20", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok brings some space-saving ideas to the Boss.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "font", "disk space", "idea", "colon", "semicolon", "staff meeting" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-21", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert invents a new data encryption program called P.H.B.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "data encryption", "decode", "manager babble", "supermodel", "pepper spray", "kiss" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-22", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok suggests a solution to Wally's problem.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "intern", "buffers", "memory leak", "salary", "programming", "software development" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-23", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok suggests some improvements to Dilbert's design.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "intern", "design", "award", "internapult" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-24", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to reduce the language to grunting and pointing.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "grammar", "leadership", "grunt", "obedience school", "common usage", "point" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss gives instructions on how to act around the senior vice president.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice", "senior vice president" ], "keywords": [ "lie", "detail", "fidget", "funding", "stock options", "chart" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Catbert says morale is low because the employees are underpaid.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "morale", "underpaid", "performance review", "feedback", "straight face" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces quarterly performance reviews.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "performance review", "morale", "criticism", "comprehension" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert has a solution to the impossible deadline he's working toward.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "deadline", "solution", "time travel", "contraception", "pamphlet", "brochure" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-29", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to fix a problem promised to a customer by a salesperson.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "sales", "promise", "brain", "solution", "filter", "sweats" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-30", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert starts misinterpreting everything Dilbert says.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "misinterpret", "change", "annoy", "therapy" ] }, { "date": "1996-08-31", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert misinterprets everything Dogbert says.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "misinterpret", "assertive", "apology", "clothes dryer", "annoy" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-01", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "An instructor introduces a workshop on the Company's mission and vision.", "characters": [ "instructor", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "workshop", "training", "mission", "vision", "group exercise", "class evaluation", "jargon", "job security", "presentation", "ethics" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-02", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert is the network administrator.", "synopsis": "Dogbert applies to be the network administrator.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "network administrator", "entertain", "pager", "tilde", "dial" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-03", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert, the network administrator, describes how Dilbert can reach him.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "network administrator", "business card", "e-mail", "pager" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-04", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert, as the network administrator, tampers with the e-mail.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "network administrator", "e-mail", "Melrose Place", "monkey of love" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-05", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Asok asks Dogbert to give him a new network password.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "network administrator", "password", "upgrade", "job satisfaction" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-06", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert demonstrates his power as network administrator.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "employee" ], "keywords": [ "network administrator", "take down the network", "doctor", "gooky stuff", "computer network" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-07", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dogbert to program the routers to block employees from fun web sites.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "network administrator", "router", "business plan", "network cable" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-08", "subject": "Product", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for a few changes to the brochure.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Tina", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "brochure", "hallucination", "sterile", "positive spin", "pang of conscience" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-09", "subject": "Teamwork", "saga": "The Dogbert Touchy-Feely Institute", "synopsis": "The Boss hires the Dogbert Touchy-Feely Institute to teach them about teamwork.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "touchy-feely", "team building", "trust", "blank cheque" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-10", "subject": "Teamwork", "synopsis": "Dogbert gets the partners to break each other's fall.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "team building", "trust", "fall", "problem", "wrong way" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-11", "subject": "Teamwork", "synopsis": "The team-building exercise is to build a sundial using a pencil and a doughnut.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "team building", "solve problems", "sundial", "doughnut", "pencil" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-12", "subject": "Teamwork", "synopsis": "The janitor solves the problem of how to build a sundial.", "characters": [ "Alice", "janitor", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "team building", "sundial", "doughnut", "union rules", "shadow", "pencil" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The company announces they will abandon the strategy of making good products.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "announcement", "merger", "partnership", "reorganisation", "stock price", "spin off" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The company buys a dying business and stock prices rise.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "dying company", "stock price", "announcement", "competitive", "advantage" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Catbert shows the new style of cubicles, also used as fashion.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "densification", "head cubicle", "morale", "dignity" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-16", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dilbert is diagnosed with phantom-pager syndrome.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "psychologist" ], "keywords": [ "pager", "vibrate", "phantom-pager syndrome", "treatment", "relocate", "couch" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-17", "subject": "Y2K", "saga": "Year 2000 problem", "synopsis": "Dogbert offers to fix the company's year 2000 problem.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "guarantee" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-18", "subject": "Y2K", "synopsis": "Ratbert checks eighty million lines of code for reference to the current date.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "program code", "binary", "current year", "zero", "one" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-19", "subject": "Y2K", "synopsis": "Dogbert presents his invoice for fixing the year 2000 problem.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "invoice", "spinning head", "explode" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-20", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Tina explains how to insert a column.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "column insert", "draft", "duh", "chapter", "title" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-21", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert suggests adding a battery backup to the product.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "battery backup", "idea", "electricity" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-22", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Bob is called in to punish an annoying speakerphone caller.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Bob", "security guard" ], "keywords": [ "speakerphone", "philosophy", "cyst", "wedgie", "voicemail", "inconsiderate", "annoy", "medical" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-23", "subject": "Leadership", "saga": "The Iron Man Team-building Competition", "synopsis": "The Boss decides to do some leadership by creating an Iron Man team-building competition.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "problem", "idiot", "iron man", "team building" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-24", "subject": "Sports", "synopsis": "Dilbert discusses his shape in preparation for the Iron Man competition.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "iron man", "elevator", "potato", "physical condition", "muscle", "engineer", "teamwork", "stairs" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-25", "subject": "Sports", "synopsis": "The first event in the Iron Man exercise is the ten-mile swim.", "characters": [ "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "iron man", "dog paddle", "ten mile swim", "swimsuit", "whistle", "teamwork", "beach" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-26", "subject": "Sports", "synopsis": "Dilbert is exhausted in the ten-mile swim.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "dolphin" ], "keywords": [ "iron man", "swim", "dolphin", "tuna", "rescue", "bathrobe", "catch and release" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-27", "subject": "Sports", "synopsis": "Dolphins refuse to rescue Dilbert in the midst of his swim.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "dolphin" ], "keywords": [ "iron man", "swim", "dolphin", "trunks", "jaws" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-28", "subject": "Sports", "synopsis": "Dilbert describes his rescue from the dolphins and the water.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "iron man", "swim", "dolphin", "deep sea fishing", "rescue" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-29", "subject": "Accounting", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to get his Saturday expenses covered on his business trip.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "accounting troll", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "airfare", "business trip", "lunch money", "reimburse", "hotel", "cave", "injury", "bandage" ] }, { "date": "1996-09-30", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice seeks a programmer for her project team.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "programmer", "project team", "sock puppet", "policy", "sadistic", "software development" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-01", "subject": "ISO 9000", "saga": "ISO 9000 audit", "synopsis": "The Boss prepares for an ISO 9000 audit.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "audit", "procedure", "ethics", "unproductive", "documentation" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-02", "subject": "ISO 9000", "synopsis": "Dilbert interviews Carol to document her procedures.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "audit", "procedure", "office supplies", "complain" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-03", "subject": "ISO 9000", "synopsis": "Dilbert continues documenting job processes.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "audit", "buzzword", "adding value", "job title", "politics", "quality" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-04", "subject": "ISO 9000", "synopsis": "A buyer says the company can't be a supplier unless the company is ISO 9000 certified.", "characters": [ "Boss", "buyer" ], "keywords": [ "audit", "supplier", "laugh", "internal process", "documentation", "price" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-05", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert teases Dilbert about how hard he's working.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "hard work", "century", "joy" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-06", "subject": "Teamwork", "synopsis": "The Boss complains no-one has been nominated for a special achievement award.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "special achievement award", "nominate", "lock", "standard", "proactive" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-07", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "Strategic alliance", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to head a technology alliance with a small silicon valley start-up.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "alliance", "silicon valley", "corporate culture", "pierced brain", "goatee" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-08", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert discusses procedures to approve projects.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "approval", "alliance", "pants", "binder", "goatee" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-09", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The strategic alliance is working well.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "alliance", "technical skill", "binder", "assimilate", "resistance is futile", "spiked hair", "goatee" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-10", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert discusses the differing corporate cultures.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "alliance", "corporate culture", "beta", "Internet", "empower", "press release", "spiked hair", "goatee", "presentation", "projector", "laptop computer" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-11", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert pronounces the strategic alliance to be doomed.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "strategic alliance", "inefficiency", "destroy", "skull and crossbones", "presentation", "projector" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Catbert invents a new employee recognition program to humiliate employees.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "employee recognition", "pocket lint", "award" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice gets a \"meets expectations\" on her performance review.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "performance review", "raise", "expectations", "patent", "bone marrow", "lunch", "attendance" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-14", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Trade Show", "synopsis": "The Boss assigns Alice to be in charge of their booth at the trade show.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "booth", "trade show", "strategic incompetence" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-15", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "Dogbert proposes the Dogbert Trade-Show Consulting Company designs the booth for the trade show.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "booth", "trade show", "consultant", "deluxe", "revenue" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-16", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains how to have an attention grabbing booth at the trade show.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "booth", "trade show", "attention-grabbing", "booth babes", "raffle", "magic trick", "special effect", "presentation", "projector", "laptop computer" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-17", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "Alice has her own ideas to increase traffic to the booth.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "booth", "trade show", "attractive", "sexist", "dental floss", "thong bikini", "competitor" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-18", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Wally gets down to it at the trade show.", "characters": [ "Wally", "sales rep" ], "keywords": [ "trade show", "free stuff", "pen", "eye contact", "industry research", "buffet", "laptop computer" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-19", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "Alice is rude to the trade show attendees.", "characters": [ "Alice", "man" ], "keywords": [ "trade show", "booth", "defect", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-20", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Wally says his project is on track -- to failure.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "project", "plan", "lawyer", "promotion", "mission statement", "mockery", "derision", "experienced", "date", "literal interpretation" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-21", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert flames a newbie e-mail.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "newbie", "goat herder", "cartoonist", "elitist technology bigot", "haves and have nots" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-22", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains about an eighty character, meaningless e-mail address.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "man", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "embarrassment", "business card", "reply function" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-23", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Catbert commits a random act of catness -- on Alice.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "random acts of catness", "purr", "shed", "pink suit", "dry clean" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-24", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Cubicle Warrior battles boredom.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle warrior", "boredom", "grandchildren", "hobo" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-25", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Wally is too busy to get the required amount of training.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "required training", "contract employee" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss ponders his contribution to the company.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "actual work", "decision", "carbon dioxide", "plant" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice asks Keith what he leaned while taking his MBA.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Keith", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "management team", "MBA", "motivation", "negotiation skills", "strategy", "business writing", "finance", "accounting", "economics", "math", "swear", "curse" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally tells Catbert he enjoys making microwave popcorn.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "popcorn", "microwave", "love job" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Catbert issues a memo banning popcorn in the office.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "popcorn", "tobacco", "perfume", "pollutant" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss presents an award to Tim for agreeing to do the job he was hired for.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Tim", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "award", "accomplishment", "stonewall" ] }, { "date": "1996-10-31", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss presents an award to Kim for fixing problems caused by her own incompetence.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Kim" ], "keywords": [ "award", "problem", "incompetence", "full plate" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-01", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice is disturbed by the sound of Wally clipping his nails.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "clip nails", "complain", "screen saver", "Wally's 101 annoying cubicle sounds", "crazy" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-02", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Dilbert moves the cubicle wall of a guy in Marketing a quarter-inch per week.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert", "marketeer" ], "keywords": [ "experiment", "cubicle", "wall", "small cubicle" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-03", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert is behind a slow woman in a cashier's line.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "chocolate bar", "exact change", "roll of pennies", "chequebook", "wallet", "purse", "cash register" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Dogbert Consulting Company adds credibility to the Boss's opinions.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "credibility", "opinion", "budget", "swami hat" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dogbert's analysis shows money is better spent on him.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "credibility", "decision", "downsize", "deluxe service", "swami hat" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-06", "subject": "Dating", "saga": "Liz and Dilbert decide to date other people.", "synopsis": "Liz decides to date other men.", "characters": [ "Liz", "Dilbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "break up", "spare" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-07", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert decides he should date other women.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "date", "Internet", "credit card", "inquisition", "hot babe" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-08", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dogbert advises Dilbert on what to include in his online personals ad.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "technology", "sex symbol", "moonlit walks", "applicant", "dance", "prowess" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-09", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert chats online with Madame Cruella.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "online relationships", "Madame Cruella", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Fantasy and reality differ when Dilbert tells the Boss about his new job offer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "promotion", "assignment", "raise", "morale", "breath", "halitosis" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-11", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Dilbert hires an extra engineer for his project.", "synopsis": "Catbert advises Dilbert how to get an extra engineer for his project.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "engineer", "unqualified", "transfer", "optimism", "savour", "crush" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Catbert presents resumes for Dilbert's job opening.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "resume", "applicant", "pay", "crayon", "eyeliner", "dot matrix", "pencil" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert interviews a dim-witted engineer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "engineer" ], "keywords": [ "applicant", "interview", "bucket", "see how you think" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert interviews a brilliant engineer, but can only offer half pay.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "engineer" ], "keywords": [ "applicant", "interview", "resume", "pay", "intangible benefits", "savings account" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert interviews an aggressive engineer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "engineer" ], "keywords": [ "applicant", "interview", "long-range career goals", "all women's college", "confident", "assertive", "arm wrestle" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert interviews an engineer who doesn't want the job.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Brian" ], "keywords": [ "applicant", "practise interview", "sandwich", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss visits Cubeville to hand out morale boosts.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cubeville", "morale", "underling", "randomly pressing keys", "inspire" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-18", "subject": "Health", "saga": "Wally starts smoking.", "synopsis": "Catbert invites Wally to start smoking.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "stress", "smoking", "company-sanctioned breaks", "downsize", "pack of cigarettes" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-19", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Wally tells Alice smoking will add an interesting edge to his personality.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "smoking", "break", "personality", "personal magnetism", "circuit board" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-20", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Wally meets the people he'll be smoking with.", "characters": [ "Wally", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "smoking", "break", "chat", "cigarette", "lighter", "colour coded" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-21", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Wally reads the cigarette ads and finds them overrated.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "smoking", "mountain biking", "waterfall", "smokers' cognitive dissonance", "cigarette", "lighter" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-22", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Wally describes the effects of smoking.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "smoking", "yellow teeth", "house", "breath", "outcast" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-23", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Wally reads the warning label on his cigarettes.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "smoking", "warning label", "colour printer", "air" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says the competition will \"eat our lunch\".", "characters": [ "Boss", "executive", "Dilbert", "security guard" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "eat our lunch", "executive committee", "cafeteria", "presentation", "projector" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally wants to know when his raise will be effective.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "raise", "effective", "in the zone", "slow motion" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-26", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Interpersonal skills training.", "synopsis": "The Boss sends Dilbert to a class to improve his interpersonal skills.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "disagree", "yell", "interpersonal skills", "class", "jog" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-27", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The three fundamentals to good relationships are loud, simple and smiley.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "interpersonal skills", "phony", "loud", "simple", "smiley", "training", "presentation", "remote control" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-28", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Today's lesson in interpersonal skills is to listen to a stupid person.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "stupid person", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "interpersonal skills", "stupid", "rolling eyes", "any key", "Yugo" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-29", "subject": "Creativity", "synopsis": "Alice gives her presentation package to the Boss.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "presentation", "dementia", "comments" ] }, { "date": "1996-11-30", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok criticises Alice's presentation package.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "areas for improvement", "ambulance", "warning" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Catbert issues a policy all employees must wear one size smaller shoes than their feet.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "reporter", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "policy", "shoe size", "carpet", "competitive", "footsizing", "complain", "success story" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally compares the number of days in their time zone.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "day", "project", "time zone", "paradigm", "chart" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-03", "subject": "Training", "saga": "Ratbert becomes corporate trainer in a company that's downsizing.", "synopsis": "Ratbert considers becoming a corporate trainer in a company that's downsizing.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "self-esteem", "corporate trainer", "downsize" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-04", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Ratbert is interviewed for corporate trainer.", "characters": [ "trainer", "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "corporate trainer", "stress", "conflict resolution", "subject matter expert", "teamwork" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-05", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "The Grim Downsizer comes to see Ratbert.", "characters": [ "Grim Downsizer", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "corporate trainer", "budget", "stress", "class evaluation", "scythe" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-06", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Ratbert finds out what the students hope to get out of the class.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Grim Downsizer", "Wally", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "corporate trainer", "decruit", "class", "scythe" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-07", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The Boss downsizes Ratbert, the corporate trainer.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "corporate trainer", "retirement plan", "calendar" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-08", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok learns to make witty and sarcastic remarks when the mute button is pressed on a conference call.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Asok", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "speakerphone", "training", "sarcasm", "compensation", "engineer", "conference call" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-09", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice complains about the mandatory unpaid overtime.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "overtime", "stockholder value", "cat toy", "quality of life", "human resources" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dogbert represents the Boss to the Boss's boss.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "manager", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "crud", "idea", "good looks", "swami hat" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss livens up a first draft by Tina.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "first draft", "exclamation point", "sarcasm", "genius", "technical document" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-12", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "A woman turns Dilbert down for a date because of differing religions.", "characters": [ "woman", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "date", "religion", "Sunday" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-13", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss assigns Dilbert and Wally to the Happiness Committee.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "happiness", "morale", "raise", "slap-the-boss day", "nude Fridays", "cynicism", "negativism" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces he's going to Quality School.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "quality school", "black belt", "breakout session", "course" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss makes an \"upgrade\" to Dilbert's product design.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "product design", "upgrade", "big picture", "fire", "civilisation", "overheat" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-16", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "An Elbonian peddles his database system with mixed success.", "characters": [ "Elbonian", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "database", "accounts receivable", "inventory", "sales", "golf balls" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-17", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss announces the computer support systems will be replaced by the Elbonian database product.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ratbert", "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "database", "consultant", "computer support systems", "risk" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-18", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Ratbert compensates for lack of computer knowledge by being highly exuberant.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "exuberant", "general protection fault", "flying lessons" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-19", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Ratbert rejoices he earns big bucks even when being unproductive.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "unproductive", "furry little behind", "career", "ideal" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-20", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Ratbert describes his plan to replace the old computer system with the new one.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "replace computer system", "economic impact", "contract", "pay" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-21", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Asok rewrites the Elbonian database system in six keystrokes.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "database", "rewrite", "bad movies", "NATO", "password", "hack" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-22", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally attends the ceremony for his ten-year service anniversary and picks a gift.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "ten-year service", "anniversary", "catalogue", "ceremony", "t-shirt", "golf ball" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-23", "subject": "Travel", "saga": "Dilbert takes a business trip.", "synopsis": "Dilbert reserves a seat on an airline.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "direct flight", "aisle seat", "first class", "North Korea", "non-smoking", "reservation", "telephone headset" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-24", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "The smartest human alive tries to understand the airline \"often flier\" program.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Marylin vos Savant", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "smart", "often flier program", "telephone company", "brain", "frequent flier" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-25", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert has a decoy suitcase and an emergency carry-on bag.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "suitcase", "carry-on bag", "airline food", "decoy", "vomit" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-26", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert upgrades his seat from the overhead bin.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "clerk", "father" ], "keywords": [ "often flier program", "seat upgrade", "overhead bin", "colicky baby", "frequent flier", "convention" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-27", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert arrives at his hotel.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "porter", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "hotel", "tip", "gauntlet", "reservation", "zombie", "taxi" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-28", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert takes a taxi ride.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "concierge", "taxi driver" ], "keywords": [ "taxi", "cheat", "metre", "language skills", "efficiency", "bicycle" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-29", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "The Boss calls tech support because his mouse is at the edge of the mousepad.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "cursor", "mouse", "reboot", "desk", "idiot expense", "mousepad" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-30", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to convince the hotel clerk to give him a room.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "hotel", "Pope", "logic", "room" ] }, { "date": "1996-12-31", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert's suit is dishevelled on his business trip.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "suit", "wrinkle-free", "wrapper" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Catbert moves Wally to a window cubicle.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "window cubicle", "nap", "lying in the sun", "benefit", "used on anything", "sleep" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss gets around his signing authority limit.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "signing authority", "business case", "value added", "separate" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert presents one hundred business cases to the Boss.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "signing authority", "business case", "spending limit", "paper", "kill", "murder" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The new policy is employees must use the products they sell.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "policy", "punishment", "will to live" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice why corporate culture is so bad.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "mail room man" ], "keywords": [ "corporate culture", "self-aware", "mail room", "problem", "intuition" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-06", "subject": "Personal", "saga": "Wally's Elbonian mail order bride.", "synopsis": "Wally orders a mail-order bride from Elbonia.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "loneliness", "mail-order bride", "photo", "pig", "wig", "telephone", "cute", "guarantee" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-07", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Wally expects his mail-order bride.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "mail-order bride", "overnight delivery", "garage", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-08", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Alice teases Wally about his mail-order bride.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "mail-order bride", "local girls", "pathetic" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-09", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Wally's mail-order bride arrives.", "characters": [ "Wally", "pig" ], "keywords": [ "mail-order bride", "low expectations", "sty", "snout", "pig", "cardboard box", "wig", "pearl necklace", "disappointment" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-10", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Wally reveals the fate of his mail-order bride.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "mail-order bride", "pig", "wig", "BLT", "rip-off", "lunch", "sandwich" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-11", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "Wally naps before his performance review.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "performance review", "nap", "keyboard face", "qwertytis", "overwork" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-12", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Dilbert negotiates for a new car.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "sales rep", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "negotiate", "retail price", "profit", "car", "rust inhibitor", "airbag", "hood ornament", "MSRP", "large screw" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-13", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally reports he did equal amounts of work and anti-work.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "work", "anti-work", "staff meeting", "broke even", "negative" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-14", "subject": "Personal", "saga": "Dilbert becomes Bill Gates's towel boy.", "synopsis": "Dilbert didn't read the shrink-wrap license agreement on his new software.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "shrink wrap", "software", "license agreement", "Bill Gates", "lawyer", "towel boy", "laundry boy" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-15", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Bill Gates's house comes to take Dilbert to be a towel boy.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "software", "license agreement", "towel boy", "Bill Gates", "assimilation", "Borg" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-16", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert is quizzed to see if he's smart enough to be Bill Gates's towel boy.", "characters": [ "mansion", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "license agreement", "Bill Gates", "towel boy", "quiz", "primate", "monkey" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-17", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "The Boss presents a performance review to Tina, who's been on vacation for two weeks.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "performance review", "vacation", "motivation", "forget", "remember" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dogbert compares business, past and present to Christianity and reincarnation.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "Christianity", "retire", "reincarnation", "analogy", "WD-40", "biodegrade", "faithful", "obedient" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-19", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to avoid his co-workers on his way to his office.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "avoid co-workers", "crafty", "obstacle", "productivity", "briefcase", "elevator", "coach" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-20", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "The Boss downgrades Wally's performance review.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "performance review", "bell curve", "flaw", "wash hands", "restroom", "bathroom", "washroom", "hygiene" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-21", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "Wally complains about the alleged misdeeds used to lower his rating on his performance review.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "performance review", "alleged misdeeds", "crack", "bell curve", "drug dealer" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-22", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Catbert cancels bereavement leave and life insurance.", "characters": [ "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "bereavement leave", "family friendly", "relative", "life insurance", "snuff", "kill", "murder" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-23", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice to not mention any problems during her presentation to senior management.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "senior management", "problem", "disaster", "purpose" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss applies to the review committee to compliment Alice.", "characters": [ "Boss", "executive review committee", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "compliment", "executive review", "application", "entitlement" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss reports on the results of the employee survey. Employees are underpaid and management is incompetent.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "employee survey", "underpaid", "travel alarm clock", "incompetent", "company logo" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-26", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks his mother what she wants for her birthday.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's Mom" ], "keywords": [ "birthday", "home entertainment theatre", "THX", "satellite link", "toaster oven", "information age", "birth", "surround sound", "porn", "dark side", "information age" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Catbert lowers Wally's base salary.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "salary", "necktie", "because I can", "shred" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants advance notices of unplanned network outages.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "network", "server", "unplanned outage", "figure of speech", "yesterday" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert presents a schedule of unplanned network outages to the Boss.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "unplanned outage", "network", "schedule", "sick days", "earthquake", "CNN", "volcanic eruption", "hurricane" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-30", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Is Dilbert a pessimist or an optimist? No, he's an engineer.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "pessimism", "optimist", "half empty", "half full", "redundant", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "1997-01-31", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Asok installs some calendar network software so everyone can schedule meetings.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "calendar software", "network", "schedule", "meeting", "cubicle justice" ] }, { "date": "1997-02-01", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally says it doesn't pay to be talented and hard-working.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "assignment", "talented", "hard working", "pay", "vending machine", "hourly basis" ] }, { "date": "1997-02-02", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert arranges a celebration for the engineers who got patents.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Carol", "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "calendar", "celebrate", "patent", "available", "cake" ] }, { "date": "1997-02-03", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss asks the department to create a web page for the internal network.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "web page", "network", "maintenance", "security", "pornography" ] }, { "date": "1997-02-04", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert creates a web page about his birth.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's Mom" ], "keywords": [ "HTML", "MPEG", "web page", "birth", "firewall", "nickname", "Internet", "intranet", "network" ] }, { "date": "1997-02-05", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "The Boss gives Alice a low performance ranking because she never brought issues to him.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "issue", "lazy", "difficult" ] }, { "date": "1997-02-06", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "Alice complains to Catbert about the Boss giving her a low performance rating.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "performance review", "issue", "binder", "downsize", "human resources", "bookshelf", "struggle" ] }, { "date": "1997-02-07", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "People are getting dumber every minute, according to Dogbert's theory.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "stopwatch", "dumb", "dumber", "emotion", "intelligence" ] }, { "date": "1997-02-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss updates his \"work smarter not harder\" saying to \"work like a frightened idiot.\"", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "work smarter not harder", "pay", "fright", "idiot" ] }, { "date": "1997-02-09", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally's interview goes well when he discusses his self-esteem.", "characters": [ "man", "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "job interview", "interview", "self-esteem", "Heimlich Manoeuvre", "choke", "qualify", "insecure", "over qualified", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1997-02-10", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally gives a bullet point for the monthly accomplishments.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "bullet point", "accomplishment", "synergy", "platform", "journey", "destination" ] }, { "date": "1997-02-11", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice wonders how big her bonus will be.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "bonus", "project", "digit", "the bird", "flip off", "flip the bird" ] }, { "date": "1997-02-12", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Carol wants an assistant secretary", "synopsis": "Carol asks for an assistant secretary.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "secretary", "support", "busy" ] }, { "date": "1997-02-13", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Carol neglects paperwork to point out she wants an assistant.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "raise", "pay", "paperwork", "secretary", "paycheque" ] }, { "date": "1997-02-14", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains to the Boss about Carol not doing paperwork.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "raise", "paperwork", "discipline", "form", "ski trip", "hell", "paycheque" ] }, { "date": "1997-02-15", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Carol introduces Wendy, Carol's new secretary.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Dilbert", "Wendy" ], "keywords": [ "secretary", "pay", "honour" ] }, { "date": "1997-02-16", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "The engineers attend a Leadership Seminar about motivation.", "characters": [ "trainer", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "leadership seminar", "motivation", "leader", "sadism", "decision", "trick question", "presentation" ] }, { "date": "1997-02-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert about the five-year budget forecast.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "budget", "project review", "meeting", "bats", "juggle", "mushroom" ] }, { "date": "1997-02-18", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Asok asks why can't a decision be made around here.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "decision", "question", "whine", "intern" ] }, { "date": "1997-02-19", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A union man objects to Dilbert moving a PC.", "characters": [ "union man", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "union", "grievance", "move", "computer monitor", "black ninja outfit", "grappling hook" ] }, { "date": "1997-02-20", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert relocates his PC at night to thwart union rules.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "security guard", "prisoner" ], "keywords": [ "commando", "union rules", "Johnny Cash", "computer monitor", "black ninja outfit", "pistol", "flashlight", "jail cell", "behind bars" ] }, { "date": "1997-02-21", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dilbert plea bargains for stealing a computer.", "characters": [ "lawyer", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "steal", "PC", "lewd conduct", "appliance", "plea bargain", "Mr. Coffee", "handcuffs", "coffee maker", "coffee pot" ] }, { "date": "1997-02-22", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss switches to managing by cliches.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "logic", "cliche", "customer", "management style", "improve" ] }, { "date": "1997-02-23", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally discuss his accomplishments for the week -- his butt had fallen asleep.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "staff meeting", "accomplishment", "bun", "sleep", "Wallyville", "butt", "numb" ] }, { "date": "1997-02-24", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "A sales rep promises a customer an impossible thing and blames Engineering.", "characters": [ "sales rep", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "schedule", "customer", "blame", "bonus", "plan" ] }, { "date": "1997-02-25", "subject": "Overwork", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains there isn't enough time in the day.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "deadline", "frazzle", "all-day", "meeting", "management tools" ] }, { "date": "1997-02-26", "subject": "Overwork", "synopsis": "The Boss plans an off-site meeting to discuss overwork.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "off-site meeting", "mission statement", "sack race", "state trooper", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1997-02-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert discusses the mathematical concept of \"zero\", as in zero time left for additional work.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "zero", "primitive cultures", "Zorro" ] }, { "date": "1997-02-28", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dogbert complains to the Boss about the project plan for Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "project plan", "impossible", "baboon", "flashback", "ear", "honeymoon" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally describes how he \"does more with less\".", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "do more with less", "plan", "intelligence", "guilty", "budget", "career", "unnecessary work" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells some rumours about the TBA CEO.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "speaker", "CEO", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "industry experience", "Caucasian", "necktie", "resume", "over qualified", "necktie", "announcement", "handshake", "microphone" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-03", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Ratbert the engagement manager", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks Ratbert to be his engagement manager in his new consulting business.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "engagement manager", "consulting", "Wal-Mart", "smart", "ecosystem" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-04", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Ratbert makes an irrelevant comparisons to Wal-Mart.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "Wal-Mart", "strategy", "compare", "pantyhose" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-05", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Ratbert explains strategy options by using different presentation methods.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "strategy", "training", "matrix", "presentation", "spell", "concentric circles", "consultant", "whiteboard" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-06", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "The Boss falls under Ratbert's consulting spell.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "consulting", "spell", "matrix", "intellectual", "approval", "diagram" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-07", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "The Boss writes large cheques to Ratbert because he is under a consultant's spell.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "consulting", "assumption", "moron", "spell", "inexperience", "stranger" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-08", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Ratbert rides the Boss like he was a bulldozer.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "consulting", "bulldozer", "ride", "engine noise", "power", "spell", "file cabinet" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-09", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains how terrible his day was.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "day", "slides", "opinion", "cheetah", "trampoline", "chart", "foil", "mock", "diagram" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert creatively fills in a timecard.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "timesheet", "reorganisation", "thief", "liar", "training", "school" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-11", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok asks Alice why she does e-mail so much.", "characters": [ "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "naive question", "e-mail", "net after-tax earnings", "shirt sleeve" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-12", "subject": "Telecommuting", "synopsis": "The Boss doesn't want Dilbert to telecommute.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "manage", "point", "grasp" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-13", "subject": "Telecommuting", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for help negotiating with the Boss for more telecommuting days.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "negotiate", "logic", "irrational", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-14", "subject": "Telecommuting", "synopsis": "Ratbert and the Boss square off to negotiate for Dilbert's telecommuting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "negotiate", "illogical", "unproductive", "will to argue" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-15", "subject": "Telecommuting", "synopsis": "Dilbert telecommutes at last.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "sick days", "time bank", "principle", "stupid", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss assigns the brochure redesign project to Alice.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "assignment", "brochure", "design", "graphic artist", "electrical engineer", "performance review" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-17", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "Tina is enamoured with Dilbert", "synopsis": "Tina asks Dilbert to lunch.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "sandwich", "cafeteria", "romance", "professional", "borrow", "untamed beast" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-18", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Tina and Dilbert have lunch together.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "fall for guys", "sandwich", "arousal", "jerk magnet", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-19", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Tina tells Alice about her crush on Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Alice", "Phil" ], "keywords": [ "crush", "desire", "pitchspoon", "tech writer", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-20", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Phil sentences Tina for her unnatural attraction to an engineer.", "characters": [ "Phil", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "attractive", "heck", "synergy", "leverage", "proactive", "pitchspoon", "cave", "tech writer", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-21", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows a smart card to the Boss.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "smart card", "payment", "reject" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-22", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert invents something to interact with other universes, possibly influencing their destinies.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "quantum computer", "universe", "chaos theory", "destiny", "workbench", "tool", "gizmo", "satellite dish", "shit happens" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-23", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally finds a bug and buys stock in the competition.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "software bug", "overtime", "broker", "stock", "analysis", "motivation", "competition" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss declares a technical thing to be impossible even though Dilbert has already done it.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "technical recommendation", "impossible", "spell" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert warns Alice about the Boss after the Boss is proved wrong.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "wrong", "boss disequilibrium", "photocopy", "proofread" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss complains they plan too much and now wants more action.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "action", "plan", "poster", "measurable" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-27", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice reminisces to Asok about promotions and raises.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "promotion", "raise", "get ahead", "moron", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wonders why profits are down and morale is low.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "profit", "morale", "anti-management", "cartoon", "mission statement", "root problem", "comic strip" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss bans anti-management cartoons to raise morale.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cartoon", "morale", "anti-management", "humour", "newspaper", "comic strip" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-30", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert's house is protected by a security system, but it doesn't work.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "thief", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "security system", "camera", "fort", "theft", "hideous", "fortress", "criminal", "video camera", "security camera", "lamp", "sofa", "couch", "park bench", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1997-03-31", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally's project requirements were changed on him.", "characters": [ "manager", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "project requirements", "work for nothing", "cookie", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-01", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Family Circus takes over the strip as Bil Keane draws Dilbert for April 1.", "note": "Scott Adams and Bil Keane, among many others, participate in the April Fools Switch.", "characters": [ "Billy from Family Circus", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "April fool", "Family Circus", "Bil Keane", "security", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-02", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Only essential employees will get business cards, announces the Boss.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "business card", "expense", "essential job" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-03", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice objects to a loud conversation outside her cubicle.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "loud", "inconsiderate", "noise", "conversation" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-04", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Alice will be attending a night course, according to the Boss.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "course", "night class", "mutual investment", "vending machine", "fist of death" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-05", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "The instructor wants to know what each student hopes to learn.", "characters": [ "instructor", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "hope", "toupee", "freak", "objectives", "dead animal", "presentation" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-06", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "The life cycle of a business idea, presented by Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Asok", "Dilbert", "Carol", "Wally", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "life cycle", "business idea", "brainstorm", "to do", "team", "proactive", "to do basket", "synergy", "presentation", "daydream", "trashcan" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-07", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Alice she must learn to deal with ambiguity.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "performance", "ambiguity", "indecision", "flexibility", "blame", "head up ass" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-08", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Dilbert is lower on the org chart than Alice and Wally.", "synopsis": "Carol gives Dilbert a new organisation chart with Dilbert's box lower than Alice and Wally's.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "organisation chart", "lower box", "secretaries day", "card", "layout" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-09", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains the org chart to Wally.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "organisation chart", "graphical layout", "fetch mail", "Dil-boy", "mentor", "coffee cup" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-10", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok thinks the new org chart makes him a boss.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "organisation chart", "reporting line", "lower box", "previous life", "new boss", "karma" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-11", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss congratulates Asok on his promotion.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "organisation chart", "intern", "promotion", "luser", "strategy", "loser" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-12", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "Dilbert thinks the department phone list should be sorted by name instead of phone number.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "telephone list", "sort order", "call display", "ignore", "caller ID" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-13", "subject": "Overwork", "synopsis": "Dilbert reviews his project plan with the Boss, showing the team will end up as a pile of dead chipmunks.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "project plan", "starve", "stink", "chipmunk", "dead chipmunk", "clip art", "sarcasm" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for something from Alice, ASAP.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "ASAP", "deadline", "embarrassment" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-15", "subject": "Benefits", "saga": "The company takes out life insurance policies on its employees.", "synopsis": "The company has taken out a life insurance policy on Wally, says Catbert.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "insurance policy", "premium", "valuable asset", "beneficiary" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-16", "subject": "Benefits", "synopsis": "The Boss holds a catered lunch meeting to discuss the life insurance policies.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "insurance policy", "catered lunch", "grumble", "mad cow burger", "chicken bone surprise" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-17", "subject": "Benefits", "synopsis": "The Boss finds another dead employee in the conference room.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "insurance policy", "dead employee", "boredom", "employee of the week", "headcount" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-18", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Catbert wants the company to collect on its life insurance policies.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "insurance policy", "blood pressure", "salary", "stock", "hypertension" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-19", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Your success depends on what you have in your hands when you walk around, Dogbert says.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "success", "coffee cup", "document", "cigarette", "binder", "newspaper", "fast track", "bathroom", "restroom" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-20", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss presents some money-saving tips from headquarters, like using short words and using sans serif fonts for faxes.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "money-saving tips", "long distance", "sans serif font", "fact-finding trip", "Switzerland", "clue-finding trip", "four star hotel", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-21", "subject": "Benefits", "saga": "Family Friendly policies.", "synopsis": "A study shows that companies with \"Family Friendly\" policies have higher profits.", "characters": [ "presenter", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "family friendly", "profit", "slap", "presentation", "projector", "married people" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-22", "subject": "Benefits", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains about the company's family friendly policies.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "family friendly", "tax on childless people", "day care", "profit-sharing" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-23", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice goes home early because of her sick kid.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "family friendly", "sick kid", "drug test", "trench coat" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-24", "subject": "Benefits", "synopsis": "Alice complains to Catbert about discrimination because of her family.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "family friendly", "discrimination", "ratted out", "love" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-25", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Wally tells Dilbert their business plan is in complete disarray.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "business plan", "deliverable", "fault", "joy", "perverse" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-26", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally and Dilbert are off to a three-hour lunch.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "business plan", "three-hour lunch", "lunch", "dedication", "insanity" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally distributes a list of fake acronyms just before the staff meeting.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "staff meeting", "acronym", "action item", "marketing", "paper" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally gives the Wally Report, a weekly status update.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "Wally report", "status report", "industry average", "ego", "supply cabinet" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-29", "subject": "Benefits", "saga": "Swapping stock options for signing a new employment agreement.", "synopsis": "The Boss has good news about the compensation plan for Dilbert: stock options.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "compensation plan", "stock options", "employment agreement", "mugging", "good news" ] }, { "date": "1997-04-30", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains to Dogbert about the new deal: stock options for signing an employment agreement.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "employment agreement", "stock options", "yada" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally points out the clause that says Wally won't work for a competitor for five years after he leaves.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "employment agreement", "work for a competitor", "termination" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-02", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Dilbert works with the marketing people to design a new product brochure.", "characters": [ "Boss", "marketing guy", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "brochure", "criminal fraud", "conscience", "jar" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-03", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to emphasise the unique things in their product for the brochure.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "marketing guy" ], "keywords": [ "brochure", "design", "recycled paper", "unique", "higher price", "old technology", "feature" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-04", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Dogbert says the world's first salesman was Noah.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Noah", "bear", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "Noah's Ark", "animal", "cruise", "sales-babble", "blame", "giraffe", "cat", "unicorn", "shepherd's hook" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-05", "subject": "Technology", "saga": "The origins of the World Wide Web are revealed.", "synopsis": "Dilbert says waiting for web pages to load cancels the productivity gains of the information age.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "web page", "wait", "productivity", "plot", "calculator", "society", "world wide web", "Internet" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-06", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells the story of why the web browser was invented.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Garbageman" ], "keywords": [ "web browser", "wait", "flashback", "prank", "world wide web", "Internet", "sweats", "trashcan" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-07", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dogbert and the Garbageman decide on a name for their prank.", "characters": [ "Garbageman", "Dogbert", "web guy" ], "keywords": [ "web browser", "invention", "web", "computer", "world wide web" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-08", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Garbageman and Dogbert discover their practical joke is out of control.", "characters": [ "Garbageman", "Dogbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "web browser", "college kid", "bushel of money", "practical joke", "newspaper", "money", "ear", "world wide web", "Internet" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-09", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Wally to start designing a product with no requirements gathered.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "product requirements", "design", "doomed project", "newspaper" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss presents a survey comparing salaries to the industry average.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "industry survey", "salary average", "textile workers", "high technology", "teenager", "dead people" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-11", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Carl, the cubicle dwellers' friend, travels from cubicle to cubicle.", "characters": [ "Carl", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "hard work", "coffee cup", "job description", "Camping Carl", "suspenders", "belly" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-12", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice turns up the office thermostat.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "temperature", "thermostat", "cactus", "cold", "warm", "polka-dot underwear", "shirt" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-13", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally tries to convince Alice to compromise in the thermostat wars.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "thermostat", "temperature", "compromise", "sweater", "shave back", "polka-dot underwear", "mirror", "shaver", "razor" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-14", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert demonstrates his latest invention, a detector of human stupidity.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "invention", "stupid", "interface", "divining rod" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-15", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Alice oversleeps and wears no makeup for her big meeting.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "oversleep", "makeup", "task", "respect", "Newt Gingrich", "alarm clock" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Catbert sets company policy for the official company font.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "document", "official", "font", "Elbonian font software", "consonants" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Carol gives Alice the agenda for the next project meeting.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "agenda", "project meeting", "mission statement", "paper bag", "sane", "sanity", "temporary" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-18", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "The engineers decide to give the waitress a tip.", "characters": [ "waitress", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "lunch", "tip", "service", "please come again", "restaurant", "bill", "cheque", "money", "gratuity", "etiquette" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-19", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Wally to chair the \"Fun Committee\".", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "chair", "fun committee", "employee morale", "Internet", "personal" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-20", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dogbert decides whether Dilbert is stupid or ignorant.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "stupid", "ignorance", "narrow-minded" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-21", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss to choose between two projects.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "project", "deadline", "priority", "illusion of thinking" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-22", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Catbert sets company policies on the Internet and chairs.", "characters": [ "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "Internet", "non-business purpose", "personal thought", "company chair", "policy", "execute", "explanation" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-23", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Wally demonstrates his labour-saving software to Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "labour-saving software", "software" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-24", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert becomes a consultant of obvious generalities.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "man", "woman", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "obvious generalities", "artist", "brilliant", "revenue", "profit", "headache", "goatee" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-25", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok feels discouraged about his job and talks to the Boss to get cheered up.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Alice", "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "discouraged", "pep talk", "dead-end job", "blood pressure", "stock options", "leader", "Kevorkian", "hypertension" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-26", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Dilbert acquires a cloud of doom.", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants the Boss to tell him more about the project.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "project", "doom", "knowledge", "comfort", "cloud of doom" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert pleads for everyone's help on the project.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "project", "cloud of doom", "help", "lightning", "thunder" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-28", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "A woman thinks Dilbert's cloud of doom makes him appear dangerous and sexy.", "characters": [ "woman", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "danger", "sexy", "lightning", "cloud of doom", "party" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-29", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert describes what he wants in a woman.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "cloud of doom", "zap", "behaviour", "pattern recognition", "lightning" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dogbert helps Dilbert get rid of the cloud of doom.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Tim" ], "keywords": [ "cloud of doom", "transfer", "clueless", "director of special projects", "table", "strap", "new assignment" ] }, { "date": "1997-05-31", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss confronts Alice about her conversation with the Boss's boss.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "conversation", "mixed message", "status report", "approval" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-01", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss dries his wet clothes in the microwave in the break room.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "rain", "clothes", "microwave", "umbrella", "downsize", "loyalty", "naked boss" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-02", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "A network planner presents some guiding principles for the network architecture.", "characters": [ "network planner", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "suspenders", "network", "architecture", "principle", "techno-jargon", "muddled thinking" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-03", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert, professional bearer of bad news.", "synopsis": "Dogbert decides to be a professional bearer of bad news.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "woman", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "professional", "bearer of bad news", "tragic situation", "Village People" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-04", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert writes to an applicant to say he's not the most qualified for a position.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "bearer of bad news", "position", "qualify", "resume" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-05", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells a patient he has six months to live.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "patient" ], "keywords": [ "bearer of bad news", "nose job", "six months to live", "doctor", "nostril", "hospital", "IV stand", "intravenous" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-06", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells Wally he's fired.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "bearer of bad news", "fired", "video", "steal", "theft", "raise", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-07", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dilbert opens a software package, agreeing to the software license.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "software license", "export", "strip search", "despotic nation", "envelope", "rubber glove", "flashlight" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces the Clean Cubicle Award goes to Matthew, who unfortunately had already been downsized.", "note": "The strip contains the words \"6/8/57 - Dogbert's Birthday\" in one of the margin's. That date was actually Scott Adam's birthday and this strip was published on Scott's 40th birthday.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally", "waitress" ], "keywords": [ "clean cubicle award", "travellers cheque", "downsize", "shred", "furniture", "motivation", "restaurant" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-09", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "A man tells Dogbert about how he teaches his kids about right and wrong.", "characters": [ "man", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "teach kids", "right and wrong", "think", "duh", "apply critical thinking", "sweats", "park bench" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-10", "subject": "Sales", "saga": "Dilbert accompanies Kenny the sales-weasel on a sales call.", "synopsis": "Dilbert accompanies Kenny the sales-weasel on a sales call.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Kenny", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "sales-weasel", "prospect", "sales call", "technical specs", "drive", "car", "brain", "overload" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-11", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Kenny tells Dilbert how to greet the customer.", "characters": [ "Kenny", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "sales call", "customer", "slap on the back", "practise swing", "smile" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-12", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains the difference between their product and a competitor's product.", "characters": [ "Kenny", "Dilbert", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "sales call", "visiting the customer", "competitor's product", "coffee", "deceptive advertising" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-13", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Kenny tells the customer nobody has ever been fired for buying their product.", "characters": [ "Kenny", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "sales call", "visiting the customer", "fired", "suicide", "savage beating", "statistical clustering" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-14", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Wally discuss the ramifications of cloning the Boss.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "clone", "experience", "e-mail", "Japan", "all caps", "perspective" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-15", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok demonstrates the new rules of body language.", "characters": [ "Asok", "woman", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "communication", "body language", "paycheque", "reorganisation", "sarcasm", "employee satisfaction", "lottery", "marketing", "shiver", "spinning head", "hangman's noose", "hang", "wedgie", "attractive", "unprofessional" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-16", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Tina schedules a two hour meeting for 7 PM on a Friday night.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "personal life", "meeting", "Tina has no personal life" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-17", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Tina invites Asok to a four-hour meeting.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "personal life", "four-hour meeting", "surrogate social life", "spine", "chips" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-18", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Catbert tells Tina people are complaining about her unnecessary meetings.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Tina", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "personal life", "unnecessary meetings", "family cat" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-19", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert begs for Dogbert's help to turn down attending worthless meetings.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "unnecessary meetings", "self-interest", "say no" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-20", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants Dilbert to take over Wally's project.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "project", "design", "leader", "caribou", "morale", "thimble", "tic tac container" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-21", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Wally the Boss wants Dilbert to take over Wally's project.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "project", "leader", "morale", "ego", "thimble" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-22", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally suggests to the Boss they could increase the life of the photocopier ink by adding water.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "creative idea", "creative thinker", "photocopier", "darken", "implementation task", "raise" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-23", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "Catbert announces new policies, such as key employees travelling on separate flights to reduce risk.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "travel", "fly", "hobby", "danger", "lunch", "mention by name" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss gives Alice a bonus for good work, but doesn't say for what work.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "bonus", "random acts", "good work", "non-specific good work" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice says she got a bonus while doing less than her usual amount of work.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "bonus", "capitalism", "flawed premise", "fright", "bonus cheque" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-26", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert is writing a book about how ineffective business consultants are.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "write a book", "business consultant", "effective", "logical flaw", "common sense", "mass market", "author" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to nurture the passion of rebellious employees.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "rebellious employees", "strategy", "culottes", "sarcasm", "casual day" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-28", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dilbert compares their lack of performance to the competitor's increased stock value.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "process", "Internet product", "employee of the week", "expert", "newspaper" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets turned down for a raise, so threatens to leave the company.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "raise", "disloyalty", "interview", "job offer", "policy", "price sheet", "secret" ] }, { "date": "1997-06-30", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert puts Dilbert on a need to know basis in order to cut down on unnecessary communication.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "need to know", "volcano", "lack of communication", "plural" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-01", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert thinks he's more successful than Dilbert, because he's happier than Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "happiness", "goal", "success", "annoy" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-02", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok discovers the company does not contain morons, only rebels who think outside the box.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "talk funny", "moron", "clear communication", "think outside the box", "ego", "rebel" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-03", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Asok tells his Mom he's the new process owner for the benchmarking initiative.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "process owner", "benchmark", "cry", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-04", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert, on the phone, asks for complete submission to his will.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "telemarketing", "lord and master", "voicemail", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-05", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells Ratbert and Bob to phone known idiots to be targets for telemarketing.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "telemarketing", "known idiots", "loser" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-06", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Wally dreams he becomes smarter just because he wants to.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "work smarter not harder", "IQ", "Latin", "consultant", "bed", "dream", "sleep", "wake" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-07", "subject": "Dating", "saga": "Dogbert is a chick magnet in the park", "synopsis": "While walking in the park, Dilbert complains about books that give away the plot in the title.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "book title", "walk in the park", "Old Man and the Sea", "Frisbee", "chick magnet", "sweats", "flying disc" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-08", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Dogbert to turn on his charm to attract women.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Roxanne" ], "keywords": [ "walk in the park", "chick magnet", "tail", "wag", "dance", "work out", "sweats" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-09", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Roxanne explains why she is attracted to Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Roxanne", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "walk in the park", "chick magnet", "exotic dancing", "physics", "engineer", "ear", "pretty boy", "touch", "sweats" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-10", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Roxanne says Dilbert is sexy, but she met Dogbert first.", "characters": [ "Roxanne", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "looks", "in touch with feelings", "scientific method", "sweats" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-11", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dogbert breaks up with Roxanne.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Roxanne" ], "keywords": [ "petting", "break up", "intelligence", "well adjusted", "Horned Demons of Ixpah" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally gives a black-and-white chart to the Boss, who wants colour instead.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "chart", "colour", "black and white", "irrelevant changes" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-13", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert hosts the radio show, the \"Bad Advice Show.\"", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "radio caller", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert's Bad Advice Show", "radio host", "divorce", "stain remover", "all-cheese diet", "microphone", "radio studio", "telephone", "woodchuck" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice to put together a presentation for the Boss to give at a trade show.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "trade show", "presentation", "technology" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice tells the Boss about the trade show presentation she prepared for him.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "trade show", "presentation", "Netscape", "compare", "Moore's Law", "award" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Asok waited three weeks to get on the Boss's calendar, but the Boss won't listen.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "getting the boss's time", "babble", "filibuster", "ESP" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss reads the mission statement written by ten executives.", "note": "Two strips with different punchlines were published that day. \"That might have sucked.\" or \"That might have been useless.\"", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "alternative version", "mission statement", "executive", "core values", "sucked" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks how the mission statement will affect his behaviour.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "statement of core values", "poison the water supply", "sarcasm" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-19", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert says Sandra Bullock knows Kevin Spacey eats bacon.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Sandra Bullock", "Kevin Spacey", "bacon" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-20", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells his mother he worked until midnight to work on slides that were never used.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's Mom" ], "keywords": [ "presentation", "overtime", "PowerPoint", "meeting", "project", "time travel", "glass is half full", "optimism" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-21", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The first hour if a meeting is taken up by U.B.R.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "agenda", "unfocused boss rambling", "crash test dummy", "aspirin" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-22", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "The Boss talks about himself throughout Asok's performance review.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "talk about yourself" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-23", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert wants to reduce turnover so he can abuse the employees.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "abuse", "employee turnover", "job title", "convict", "resume", "felon" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-24", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains to the Boss about the new job titles.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "job title", "demean", "influence", "director of learned helplessness" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-25", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert sets out to swat people who laugh nervously when they talk.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "flyswatter", "hobby", "nervous laugh", "backpack", "knapsack" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss highlights the important parts of a magazine article to save people time.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "magazine", "article", "page numbers", "highlight" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-27", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "What if Albert Einstein worked in marketing?", "characters": [ "Boss", "Albert Einstein" ], "keywords": [ "Albert Einstein", "ego", "idea", "work smarter not harder", "atom bomb" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-28", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Dilbert is in charge of integrating a competitors product line with their own", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert their competitor wants to sell their product line.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "product line", "competitor", "integration" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-29", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks an engineer from the competition about problems in the product line.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "engineer" ], "keywords": [ "Engineers' secret code", "problem", "laugh", "binary code", "laptop computer" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-30", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dogbert advises Dilbert how to integrate the two product lines.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "advice", "upgrade", "buying decision", "pure evil" ] }, { "date": "1997-07-31", "subject": "Productivity", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Wally people will have to share cubicles, due to space constraints.", "characters": [ "Boss", "co-worker", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "space constraints", "cubicle", "photocopier", "claustrophobia", "copy machine", "butt", "head" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-01", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "Alice arranges for an \"accident\" for her new cubicle mate.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "share", "accident", "spring-loaded chair", "cardboard box", "booby trap" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-02", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "Dilbert shares his cubicle with an Elbonian audit team during their holy week.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "share", "audit", "holy week", "wedgie" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-03", "subject": "Teamwork", "synopsis": "The engineers take a rock climbing seminar, and Wally wimps out because of the physical effort.", "characters": [ "Wally", "instructor", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "team building", "rock climbing", "danger", "pain", "cramp", "diploma", "grip", "special tool" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-04", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "Wally, who is in charge of the office relocation, shows off his plan for Wallyville: housing, shopping and gambling.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "Wallyville", "shop", "gambling", "power", "cardboard box", "blueprint", "circuit board" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-05", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "Dilbert is assigned a cubicle that has a window view but contains mostly support beam.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "support beam", "window", "breeze", "laugh", "blueprint", "cardboard box" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-06", "subject": "Management", "saga": "The company has Open Book Management philosophy", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Open Book Management, where employees learn to read the financial statements of the company.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "open book management", "financial statements", "budget", "salary", "CEO", "motivation" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss explains to Asok if he got a raise, it wouldn't be good for lazy stock market analysts.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "open book management", "raise", "earnings growth", "stock market", "lazy", "understand" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert learns the company is repurchasing stock while he works unpaid overtime.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "open book management", "repurchasing stock", "unpaid overtime", "income", "equity", "philosophy", "ignorance is bliss" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-09", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "A janitor is motivated into sweeping more by looking at the company's debt to equity ratio.", "characters": [ "janitor", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "debt to equity ratio", "sweep", "carpet", "self-doubt", "push broom" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces project Sparkle, the clean desk policy, and Alice mocks the executives who created it.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Project Sparkle", "clean desk", "war room", "executive", "panic", "mission statement", "ridicule" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-11", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert has a new method for getting rid of idiots who ask questions: the information is on his web page.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "question", "idiot", "web page", "misunderstand" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-12", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert describes the new clean desk policy: employees must lick their workplace clean at the end of the day.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "clean desk", "policy", "lick", "spineless", "stupid" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-13", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "A rumour circulates about the company moving to South Dakota", "synopsis": "Wally tells Dilbert about the rumour the company will move to South Dakota for tax reasons.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "rumour", "South Dakota", "tax break", "organ bank", "sleep", "cubicle" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-14", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Dogbert about the rumour of moving to South Dakota. Dogbert cynically thinks the CEO wants to move near his parents for free babysitting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "rumour", "South Dakota", "CEO", "babysit", "cynicism", "mailbox", "letter", "blush" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-15", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Bob phones the CEO and gives him a telewedgie.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "rumour", "South Dakota", "telewedgie", "wedgie", "CEO", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-16", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the janitor why he carries only one trash container, while Dilbert has an extra one for recyclables.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "janitor" ], "keywords": [ "trash", "recycle", "cynicism" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally has more uncertainty the closer he gets to the office. The Boss reveals why: another reorganisation.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "uncertainty", "strength", "reorganisation", "demon", "apathy", "cynicism", "sarcasm", "merger", "downsize", "profit" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-18", "subject": "Personnel", "saga": "Dilbert recruits college seniors", "synopsis": "Dilbert starts to recruit college seniors.", "note": "Two versions of the strip were published with different lines. The tame version used \"the O-word\" instead of \"orgy\".", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "student" ], "keywords": [ "task force", "recruit", "graduate", "experience", "party", "lie", "mock", "meeting", "orgy", "sex" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-19", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "A college senior asks Dilbert why she should consider his offer when she has twelve better offers.", "characters": [ "student", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "recruit", "campus", "job offer", "resume" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-20", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "An athletic senior abuses Dilbert in a recruiting session.", "characters": [ "student", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "recruit", "campus", "wedgie", "crushing handshake" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-21", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "A student criticises Dilbert because Dilbert has ancient engineering knowledge.", "characters": [ "student" ], "keywords": [ "recruit", "campus", "engineer", "knowledge", "people skills", "confidence" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-22", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dogbert gives Ratbert a pager to wear. The pager is set to vibrate.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "pager", "vibrate", "yeehah", "better" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-23", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Ratbert and Bob compare technology: Ratbert's pager versus Bob's digital PCS phone with a built in pager.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Bob", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "pager", "PCS telephone", "vibrate", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-24", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "The results of the employee communications survey are presented: fear of giving negative news to managers is the number one problem.", "characters": [ "survey-taker", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "employee communications survey", "negative news", "insult", "fear", "presentation", "projector", "skull and crossbones", "solution" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-25", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert explains to Alice she must use her vacation time or lose it.", "characters": [ "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "vacation", "use it or lose it", "deadline", "embarrassment", "laugh", "fuzzy" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-26", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally empathises with Alice she must work during her vacation time.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "vacation", "work during vacation", "empathy", "coffee cup", "injury" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-27", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok admires Alice's work ethic for working during vacation.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "vacation", "work during vacation", "ethics", "glass ceiling", "ceiling tile" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-28", "subject": "Technology", "saga": "Dogbert returns as network systems administrator", "synopsis": "Dogbert decides to return to his old job as network systems administrator for the potential of abuse of power.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "network administrator", "power", "Ethernet card", "circuit board" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-29", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dogbert shows Wally all the software manuals are locked away.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "network administrator", "manual", "mean-spirited", "meet halfway", "window" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-30", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells Wally he has a collection of the worst of Wally's e-mails.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "network administrator", "e-mail", "privacy", "blackmail", "humour", "naughty proposition", "theft", "steal" ] }, { "date": "1997-08-31", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to copy a document so he and the Boss can discuss it, but the Boss insists the secretary should copy it.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "photocopy", "highly paid professionals", "secretary", "high-level planning" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-01", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert, the network systems administrator, announces to the ignorant employees he controls people's information.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "network administrator", "employee", "board of directors", "emperor", "escape key", "webcam", "video camera" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-02", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert, company emperor", "synopsis": "Dogbert, company emperor, collects his salary and downsizes all the employees.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "reporter" ], "keywords": [ "company emperor", "salary", "downsize", "media", "crown", "sceptre", "file cabinet", "bow", "prostrate", "worship", "news conference", "wheelbarrow" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-03", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert says the term \"downsizing\" sounds too negative so calls it \"wedgiesizing.\"", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bob", "employee" ], "keywords": [ "company emperor", "downsize", "wedgiesizing", "crown", "sceptre", "file cabinet" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-04", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert feels something is missing after plundering the company.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "company emperor", "downsize", "equity", "stock options", "hollow victory", "book deal", "trophy wife", "crown", "sceptre", "limousine" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-05", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert, being the major breadwinner, calls the house \"Dogbert Manor,\" and names Dilbert \"Jennifer.\"", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Jennifer" ], "keywords": [ "breadwinner", "Dogbert Manor", "electronic", "crown", "sceptre", "tool", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-06", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "A money manager wants Dogbert to sign an incomprehensible contract.", "characters": [ "money manager", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "money manager", "investment", "contract", "risk", "maxed out", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-07", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dogbert lists the ways to disconnect Wally from the tech support line.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "disconnect", "hold", "Kevorkian disconnect", "your call is important", "telephone headset", "wrong button" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-08", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert has an accident with his balloon of sand and ruins his keyboard.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "balloon of sand", "stress", "keyboard", "squeeze" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-09", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Wally considers disguising his lack of a chin and a waist.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "beard", "chin", "sweater", "waist", "Sherlock Holmes", "friend", "lunch", "mannequin" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-10", "subject": "Secretary", "saga": "The Boss is missing because his plane crashes", "synopsis": "Carol tells the Boss to leave his laptop on during takeoff so he can assume control of the plane.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss", "flight attendant" ], "keywords": [ "laptop computer", "flight", "Excel", "pilot", "airplane", "control" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The staff learns the Boss's plane has crashed.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "plane crash", "mourn", "celebrate", "cake", "leave early", "party hat" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The engineers actually like to work now the Boss is presumed dead.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "presumed dead", "finish project", "patent", "spoon-hug", "give up coffee", "weight loss", "paradise" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss returns from the plane crash with only minor hair injuries.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "presumed dead", "nun", "prayer", "injury", "aerobics" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-14", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "Carol's master plan to eliminate the Boss is training him to be helpless.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "envelope", "master plan", "problem solving", "South Korea", "death penalty", "outside line" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-15", "subject": "Corporate Services", "saga": "Mordac the Refuser answers all requests.", "synopsis": "Mordac the Refuser discusses Wally's request for a computer upgrade.", "characters": [ "Mordac", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "refuse", "computer", "upgrade", "request", "paperwork", "copy", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-16", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Mordac refuses Alice's request for services, even though she didn't make any.", "characters": [ "Mordac", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "refuse", "Information Technology Department", "resource shortages", "reverse psychology", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-17", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Alice doesn't want anything from the IT department, so they must give her everything.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Mordac", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Information Technology Department", "reverse psychology", "space shuttle", "nothing", "everything", "computer", "dish antenna", "webcam", "video camera", "gizmo", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-18", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert introduces Bob, Dawn and Rex for those who joined the strip late.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Bob", "Dawn", "Rex" ], "keywords": [ "dinosaur", "extinction", "hide", "relevant" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-19", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert says one of the dinosaurs must be downsized and Bob reacts badly.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bob", "Dawn", "Rex" ], "keywords": [ "dinosaur", "downsize", "spike", "ficus tree", "professional", "cute" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-20", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks for readers opinion on what to do about downsizing the dinosaurs.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert", "Bob", "Dawn", "Rex" ], "keywords": [ "reader survey", "downsize", "office jokes", "opinion", "vote", "Jimmy Carter" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-21", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "The Boss explains Catbert's policy of only one casual day per week.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "casual Friday", "happy cat", "Hawaiian shirt", "earnings impact" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-22", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "Wally shows Dilbert the Rolex watch he got from a vendor.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Rolex watch", "vendor", "gift limit", "wristwatch" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-23", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Wally thinks it's a date; the vendor says it's a vendor-client meeting over lunch.", "characters": [ "Wally", "sales rep" ], "keywords": [ "vendor", "date", "client", "oyster", "restaurant", "waitress" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-24", "subject": "ISO 14000", "synopsis": "The Boss puts Dilbert in charge of ISO 14000 certification.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "certification", "ISO 9000", "joke", "stockholder meeting" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-25", "subject": "ISO 14000", "synopsis": "Dogbert hatches a get-rich scheme when he hears Dilbert is in charge of ISO 14000 certification.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "certification", "inspector", "failure", "clipboard" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-26", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally complains he hadn't used his brain that week.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "brain", "carpool", "passenger", "staff meeting", "streak" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-27", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to improve their image on the Internet; Dilbert suggests spamming.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Internet", "e-mail", "spam", "sarcasm", "suggestion" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-28", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss gives Alice impossible conditions for her project to guarantee failure.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "project", "phase", "approval", "vacation", "failure", "Boss Zone", "doughnut", "guarantee" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Asok wonders if anyone would really want to read some documents marked \"proprietary.\"", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "proprietary", "document", "logical question", "insubordination", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1997-09-30", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert announces he will hunt people who have strong opinions about subjects they don't understand.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "personal crusade", "opinion", "hunt", "cardboard tube", "free" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-01", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "A man with a bad opinion complains about ads on the Internet and thinks it should be free.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "complainer" ], "keywords": [ "Internet", "corporation", "advertisement", "capitalism", "cardboard tube" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-02", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "All the stupid people Dogbert has insulted form a mob and surround the house.", "characters": [ "stupid person", "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "revenge", "stupid", "insult", "mob", "abuse", "water", "window" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-03", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "The stupid people Dogbert has insulted switch plans from trying to drink all the hose water.", "characters": [ "stupid person", "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "revenge", "water", "hose", "lawn", "fight" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-04", "subject": "Telecommuting", "synopsis": "Alice wakes up and looks forward to a day of telecommuting without distractions.", "characters": [ "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "waking", "distraction", "refrigerator", "pickle", "talk", "bathrobe", "kitchen" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-05", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells his Mom he got a promotion -- without a raise or people to report to him.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's Mom", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "promotion", "executive", "engineer", "title", "salary", "party", "business card", "responsibility", "telephone", "party hat", "gift", "food", "music", "guest" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-06", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date likes communication but with severe restrictions on the topic.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "communication", "sports", "computer", "self-centred", "Greek mythology", "restaurant", "sex", "accomplishment" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-07", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date likes talking to Dilbert, but only about herself.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "communication", "conversation", "self-centred", "Gilbert" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-08", "subject": "Telecommuting", "saga": "Alice telecommutes and overeats.", "synopsis": "Alice enjoys telecommuting but has developed a tendency to snack.", "characters": [ "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "snack", "discipline", "salad dressing", "zesty Italian", "bathrobe", "telephone", "speakerphone" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-09", "subject": "Telecommuting", "synopsis": "Alice doesn't want to return to her cubicle because she enjoys telecommuting.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "eat", "wild", "cubicle", "tranquiliser dart", "shoehorn", "bathrobe", "refrigerator", "kitchen", "couch", "blueprint", "weight gain", "harpoon" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-10", "subject": "Telecommuting", "synopsis": "The Boss surrounds Alice's house to get her back in a cubicle.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "bullhorn", "free", "house", "giant cubicle walls" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-11", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert ponders on the fact he asks for so little.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "demand", "think" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-12", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The Boss will be late for a meeting, so Dilbert and Wally try to fill in the time.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "late", "magazine", "small talk", "pantyhose" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-13", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "The Dogbert Mutual Fund", "synopsis": "Dogbert decides to set up a mutual fund for people too stupid to know all the alternatives.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "investment", "mutual fund", "index fund", "wag" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-14", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains to a potential investor past performance does not indicate future performance.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "investor" ], "keywords": [ "mutual fund", "performance", "personal expenses" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-15", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert does a commercial for his mutual fund.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "mutual fund", "monkey", "stock", "fees", "advertisement", "television" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-16", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Bob questions Dogbert about the lack of a track record on the mutual fund.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Dogbert", "investor" ], "keywords": [ "mutual fund", "intelligence", "track record", "trust" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-17", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert writes an earnings report for his mutual fund comparing it to the S&P 500.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "investor" ], "keywords": [ "mutual fund", "earnings report", "money", "S&P 500", "assumption", "unscrupulous dog", "letter" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-18", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert is interviewed because of a report his fund is the highest performer of the decade.", "characters": [ "talk show host", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "mutual fund", "talk-show", "television", "interview", "money chatter", "television camera", "studio" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-19", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert asks Wally to submit to a random drug test.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "victim", "drug test", "random", "lucky in love", "hair sample", "eyebrow" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-20", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert, sports memorabilia dealer", "synopsis": "Dogbert starts selling autographed baseballs.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "sports memorabilia", "baseball", "Moses", "autograph", "forgery" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-21", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "A boy is interested in a Babe Ruth-autographed baseball.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "kid" ], "keywords": [ "sports memorabilia", "baseball", "Babe Ruth", "autograph", "Honus Wagner" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-22", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dilbert examines a football autographed by Jesus.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "sports memorabilia", "football", "Jesus", "heal", "baseball", "baseball hat" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-23", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert has a softball autographed by Martin Luther, but the buyer wants a Martin Luther King, Jr. autograph.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "buyer" ], "keywords": [ "sports memorabilia", "softball", "Martin Luther", "autograph", "forgery" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-24", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dogbert advises Dilbert to ask easy questions of the Boss to increase visibility.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "visibility", "promotion", "question", "embarrassment" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-25", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Wally says he's been seeing a beautiful woman.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "voyeur", "curtains", "lawn chair", "window", "peeping Tom" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss complains someone in the office has a social life that puts the company at a competitive disadvantage.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "social life", "competition", "multi-level marketing", "network", "wax fruit", "industry average", "brochure" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss criticises Alice for her problem-solving techniques and she gets even.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "with all due respect", "insult", "problem" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice tells Wally how to insult the Boss and get away with it.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "insult", "with all due respect", "intangible benefits", "monkey" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-29", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Wally can't get a raise because he doesn't have ten years of Java coding experience.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "salary", "Java", "programming", "evil", "spinning head" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-30", "subject": "Training", "saga": "The Boss attends management training.", "synopsis": "Catbert tells the Boss about mandatory classes for managers.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "management course", "mandatory classes", "subordinate", "document", "time management" ] }, { "date": "1997-10-31", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "The management trainer says to never be in the same room as a decision.", "characters": [ "trainer" ], "keywords": [ "management course", "decision", "puppet show", "blame", "presentation" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Management training shows the Boss nonsense phrases that can be used in any situation.", "characters": [ "trainer", "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "training", "nonsense", "phrase", "quality", "handout", "implementation", "methodology", "presentation" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-02", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "A marketing guy reads a magazine and the engineers plot to stop him.", "characters": [ "marketing guy", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "magazine", "knowledge", "tranquiliser dart", "net", "space station", "loudspeaker", "bathroom", "restroom" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-03", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "Bob starts his own business to give in-office chair massages to cubicle dwellers.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Wally", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "masseur", "chair massages", "pervert", "in-office", "towel", "massage oil" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-04", "subject": "Y2K", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to be on the lookout for COBOL programmers to handle the millennium problem.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "COBOL", "programmer", "mainframe", "millennium", "dinosaur" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-05", "subject": "Y2K", "synopsis": "The Boss assigns Bob and Asok to fix the millennium problem.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "COBOL", "millennium", "mentor", "teamwork", "meteor", "glacier" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-06", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Bob says problems will go away if you wait long enough.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "problem solving", "wait", "standing motionless", "reorganisation" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Catbert tells the Boss not to reward employees, just torture them less.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "reward", "torture", "employee", "staff meeting" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-08", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to analyse the risks on a project.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "risk analysis", "indecision", "clueless", "understand", "micromanage" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-09", "subject": "Conference", "synopsis": "The Boss welcomes everyone to the Engineering Conference where the theme is \"Employees are our most valuable asset.\"", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "valuable asset", "key note", "asset", "art", "depreciation", "certificate", "presentation", "microphone" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-10", "subject": "Safety", "synopsis": "The cubicle police complain of a safety violation in Wally's cubicle.", "characters": [ "cubicle cop", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle police", "flashlight", "dog", "living organism", "paper" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-11", "subject": "Safety", "synopsis": "A stack of paper fell and killed a cubicle cop, Alice says.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle police", "stack of paper", "quality workshop", "dead body", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-12", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Dilbert does his best to withhold information from Marketing, but slips up.", "characters": [ "marketing guy", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "feature", "it depends", "information", "time of day", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-13", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dogbert's dating advice to Dilbert is to have a designated bragger because women like accomplishments but not bragging.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "advice", "brag", "designated bragger", "humility", "makeup", "honesty" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-14", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert goes on a first date with a woman who hugs.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "hug", "bra", "watch", "awkward" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-15", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dogbert recounts Dilbert's embarrassing date where his watch strap snagged her blouse.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "laugh", "watch", "blouse", "hug", "I'm an engineer not a diamond cutter" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert confuses the Boss when he questions priorities on different tasks.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "priority", "urgent", "assignment", "Quake game", "video game" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-17", "subject": "Organisation", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Tina the non-technical people are getting new job titles.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "job title", "second-class citizen", "SCC Group", "non technical" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-18", "subject": "Entrepreneur", "saga": "A focus group of losers", "synopsis": "Dilbert says all good ideas look like bad ideas to losers.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "man", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "good idea", "bad idea", "loser", "market research", "flood zone", "Frisbee", "flying disc" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-19", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains to the focus group they were picked because of their pattern of making loser choices.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "man", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "market research", "loser", "liver transplant", "jury duty", "focus group" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-20", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert's question to the focus group is how they would react if a small dog took advantage of them.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "man", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "market research", "loser", "complain", "Bureau of Dogs", "swami hat" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-21", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert explains the company has no implied contract to keep Wally employed but expects total loyalty.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "employment", "loyalty", "contract", "face-stretching exercise", "smile" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-22", "subject": "Organisation", "synopsis": "Alice notices a fog rolling in over the cubicles and expects the worst.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "fog", "staff meeting", "reorganisation" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-23", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss wants Alice to include revenue figures on the network upgrade even though there are none.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "network upgrade", "revenue", "spreadsheet", "lie", "fist of death" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-24", "subject": "Technology", "saga": "Dilbert gets an ISDN phone line installed", "synopsis": "An ISDN installer comes to Dilbert's place. The installation should be simple.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "ISDN installer" ], "keywords": [ "ISDN line", "installer", "deadline", "telephone", "utility belt", "telephone cord" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-25", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The ISDN installer makes sure Dilbert's phone line is connected to central office.", "characters": [ "ISDN installer", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "ISDN line", "installer", "network", "telephone", "utility belt", "telephone cord", "conduit" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-26", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The ISDN installer says installing a digital line is very different.", "characters": [ "ISDN installer", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "ISDN line", "installer", "spids", "slap fight", "telephone", "utility belt", "telephone cord", "gizmo", "injury" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-27", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The ISDN installation is successful and Dilbert does an Engineer's victory dance.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "ISDN line", "Internet", "128 Kilobytes per second", "victory dance", "jury", "kill", "murder", "telephone", "camcorder", "video camera" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-28", "subject": "Administration", "synopsis": "A woman shows her new baby to the Boss and asks if she needs to provide a doctor's note to explain her absence.", "characters": [ "woman", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "baby", "feed", "pregnant", "doctor's note", "Mickey Rooney" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-29", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "The Boss announces they will only hire people with master's degrees from top colleges.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "new employee", "masters degree", "tall", "insult" ] }, { "date": "1997-11-30", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Wally ask Ken why he promised their new software will kill mould and mildew.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Ken", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "presentation", "slides", "mildew and mould", "placebo effect", "software development" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-01", "subject": "Corporate Services", "saga": "Asok goes to the Analogy Police", "synopsis": "The Boss says interns are important to the company like minks to a mink coat.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "mink", "intern", "analogy police" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-02", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Asok turns to the Analogy Police for the Boss's remarks about minks.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Phil" ], "keywords": [ "analogy police", "mink", "tip" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-03", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Asok is doubtful of Phil's outfit as an analogy cop.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Phil" ], "keywords": [ "analogy police", "casual day", "bicycle pants", "fright" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-04", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Phil tells how he was ousted as the ruler of heck.", "characters": [ "Phil", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "analogy police", "heck", "pitchspoon", "non-alcoholic beverage", "corporate merger", "synergy", "pitchspoon" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-05", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Phil asks Dogbert for help with writing a resume.", "characters": [ "Phil", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "resume", "qualify", "patent", "coffee", "pitchspoon" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-06", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Phil tells Dogbert he'd be good at jobs involving sin, like bingo and budgets.", "characters": [ "Phil", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "career counsellor", "resume", "marketing", "soul", "bingo", "audit", "garment manufacturing" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-07", "subject": "Productivity", "synopsis": "Wally says he has pride in the process of his work not the results.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "status report", "process pride", "morale", "result" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-08", "subject": "Dating", "saga": "Dilbert grunts and agrees with his date", "synopsis": "Dogbert says when dating, everything a man says will lower a woman's opinion of him.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "opinion", "compliment", "log", "negative trends", "ear", "analyse", "pattern", "trend" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-09", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert does nothing but grunt and agree with his date.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "grunt", "coach", "date-alyser", "cubicle", "microscope" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-10", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's grunting and agreeing leads his date to say he's a perfect conversationalist.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "grunt", "coach", "conversation", "trap", "restaurant", "wine" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-11", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date says sooner or later, a man will ruin the magic by talking.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "opinion", "time bomb", "engineer", "kiss", "tongue", "magic" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-12", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Asok wants to go home early because he's finished his work.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "intern", "exempt", "desperation", "document" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-13", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Alice tells Asok they'll probably have to work all night to finish a presentation.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "presentation", "inefficiency", "procrastination", "martyr", "reincarnation" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-14", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Bruce, the new guy, has no office, computer or phone, but gets a collar that gives him shocks.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Bruce", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "overcrowding", "telephone", "computer", "shock collar", "office", "dog collar" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-15", "subject": "Project", "saga": "North Elbonians work on Dilbert's top-secret military project.", "synopsis": "The Boss has hired some contract employees from North Elbonia to help on Dilbert's military project.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "North Elbonia", "contract employee", "military", "secret", "top secret", "totalitarian" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-16", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains about the North Elbonian contract workers on the top-secret military project.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "North Elbonia", "military", "treason", "execution", "legal department", "top secret" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-17", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert talks to the company lawyer about the communist contract workers on the top-secret military project.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "lawyer" ], "keywords": [ "North Elbonia", "military", "treason", "execute", "secret" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-18", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The North Elbonians tell Dilbert about their agreement not to take technology secrets back to their country.", "characters": [ "North Elbonian", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "North Elbonia", "non-disclosure agreement", "secret" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-19", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert reports the North Elbonians have stolen military secrets for their homeland.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "North Elbonia", "stolen technology", "laser", "secret", "contractor", "military", "team building" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-20", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dogbert recommends Tina the technical writer create a manual for the North Elbonian's laser.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "North Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "North Elbonia", "user manual", "laser", "Helen Reddy", "secret", "feminism" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-21", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Wally returns from training and tells the Boss the knowledge is forgotten but the binder is permanent.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "binder", "knowledge", "cubicle", "funding", "budget" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-22", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dan the Illogical Scientist brags to Dilbert he's much smarter.", "characters": [ "Dan the Illogical Scientist", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "illogical", "invention", "ego", "brag" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-23", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dan the Illogical Scientist says Alice's idea won't work because some ideas don't work.", "characters": [ "Dan the Illogical Scientist", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "illogical", "idea", "religion", "report", "laptop computer" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-24", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dan the Illogical Scientist says he can prove the software Asok is writing will never work.", "characters": [ "Dan the Illogical Scientist", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "illogical", "software", "can't be done", "electric shock" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-25", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Asok tells Wally he is Asok's role model.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "role model", "philosophy", "spine", "frustration", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-26", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Asok continues to learn from his role model: telling people he's dead.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "role model", "time management", "planning session" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-27", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Wally, Asok's role model, teaches the art of sarcasm.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Asok", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "sarcasm", "art", "discipline", "insubordination", "shareholder" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-28", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert makes soup and improvises on a few ingredients.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "food", "cook", "soup", "gazpacho", "French", "kitchen", "cook", "sea salt", "corn starch", "flour", "marjoram", "butter", "cheese", "egg" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-29", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Ratbert visualises universes within photons and thinks \"Nobel Prize.\"", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "photon", "universe", "Nobel Prize" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-30", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Ratbert discusses theoretical physics with the Garbageman and thinks his skull will explode.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Garbageman", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "photon", "universe", "mass", "probability", "brain is full", "tarpaulin", "trashcan" ] }, { "date": "1997-12-31", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Ratbert makes notes of the Garbageman's thoughts on theoretical physics.", "characters": [ "Garbageman", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "gravity", "matter", "consciousness", "universe", "trashcan", "probability" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-01", "subject": "Science", "saga": "The Garbageman wins a Nobel Prize.", "synopsis": "Ratbert tells Dilbert he submitted the Garbageman's theory to the Nobel Prize Committee.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert", "Nobel Prize Committee member" ], "keywords": [ "Nobel Prize", "committee", "theory", "Pig Latin", "photon", "hair" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-02", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Members of the Nobel Prize Committee go through the selection process, narrowing it down to theories they don't understand.", "characters": [ "Nobel Prize Committee member" ], "keywords": [ "committee", "Nobel Prize", "theory", "solution", "vote", "Occam's Razor" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-03", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "The Garbageman is reluctant to leave the garbage industry even after he won the Nobel Prize.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Garbageman", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "Nobel Prize", "garbage industry", "paper plate", "trashcan", "smell" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-04", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains he doesn't want to get drunk because he doesn't like to be out of control.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "drunk", "drink", "out of control", "date", "walk", "booze companies" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss gets a bomb threat but doesn't tell anyone else.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "walk", "lunch", "bomb threat", "hoax", "lottery ticket", "irony", "morale", "trench coat" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-06", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "The Boss criticises Alice at her performance review for not keeping him informed.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "project", "e-mail", "inform" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-07", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "Ted has a death in the family and the office celebrates.", "synopsis": "Alice stamps congratulations on a card for Ted's death in the family.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "card", "rubber stamp", "death", "congratulations", "greeting card" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-08", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Carol asks Wally if he is free for Ted's surprise party.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "surprise party", "death", "karaoke", "card", "flower" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-09", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Ted's brother was killed by mobsters; the office is holding a party and Dilbert has to write a funny song.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "death", "mobster", "rival", "song", "buried", "surprise party", "goodfella", "mafia" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to write the report in less technical terms, even more so for the upper management.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "report", "technical", "dumb down", "CEO", "product comparison", "happy face", "frowny face", "presentation", "projector", "emoticon" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-11", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Rex Tangle, the new employee specially bred to work in a cubicle.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Rex Tangle", "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "new employee", "square meal", "personal life", "steal", "round pegs", "cubicle", "pun" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-12", "subject": "Science", "saga": "Ratbert is psychic.", "synopsis": "The Garbageman explains how a blind person makes up for the loss of vision by bolstering other senses.", "characters": [ "Garbageman", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "blind", "hearing", "brain", "dumb", "telekinesis", "television" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-13", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert attempts to debunk Ratbert's claimed psychic ability by 100 flips of a coin.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "psychic", "coin", "debunk", "coincidence", "heads", "tails", "edge", "flip" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-14", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert is not convinced of Ratbert's psychic ability so Ratbert does one final demonstration.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "psychic", "coin", "coincidence", "hen noises", "luck", "chicken", "hover" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-15", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert calls the \"Skeptics Association\" to help prove Ratbert isn't psychic.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "psychic", "Skeptics Association", "debunk", "passport", "driver's license", "clone", "DNA", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-16", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "A skeptic comes over to debunk Ratbert's claims of ESP.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ken the Skeptic" ], "keywords": [ "psychic", "Skeptics Association", "debunk", "ESP", "OJ Simpson", "juror", "Hubble Telescope" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-17", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Ken the Skeptic tests Ratbert's ESP by making him guess the contents of an envelope.", "characters": [ "Ken the Skeptic" ], "keywords": [ "psychic", "envelope", "charcoal drawing", "woodchuck", "beaver", "orange", "tangerine", "fraud" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-18", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert presents Dilbert with a bill for all the time they spent together that wasn't fun.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "bill", "enjoy", "friend", "work", "fun", "trust", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-19", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Ken the Skeptic tells Dogbert he has debunked everyone who claimed they had mental powers.", "characters": [ "Ken the Skeptic", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "psychic", "scientific method", "debunk", "predict", "mental powers", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-20", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks how Ken knows the controlled tests work for psychic powers when they have never found any.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ken the Skeptic" ], "keywords": [ "psychic", "controlled test", "metal detector", "unicorn", "sock drawer" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-21", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says the sales force was offered a retirement package of fifty dollars and they all took it.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "retire", "buyout package", "sales force", "knowledge" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-22", "subject": "Entrepreneur", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to quit and become an entrepreneur but doesn't want to handle risk.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "quit", "risk", "denial", "archrival", "CEO", "humane", "bonus", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-23", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Ken has the flu and tells Alice she won't catch it.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Ken" ], "keywords": [ "flu", "germ", "sneeze", "contagious" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-24", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dilbert refuses to take a copy of Ken's work because of Ken's germs.", "characters": [ "Ken", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "report", "copy", "flu", "project", "reason to live" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss shows up at Dilbert's desk at quitting time with an assignment.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "schedule", "document", "quitting time", "sociopath", "anthropology", "guess" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-26", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert, Deputy of Common Sense.", "synopsis": "Dogbert appoints himself Deputy of Common Sense.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Deputy of Common Sense", "justice", "chocolate gun", "police hat", "gun belt" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-27", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert, Deputy of Common Sense, complains about a four hour meeting to find out why people are behind schedule.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "employee" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "behind schedule", "agenda", "morale", "police hat", "gun belt", "shoot" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-28", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert, Deputy of Common Sense, confronts the Boss about his insulting gifts.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "motivation", "gift", "chess", "pawn", "rook", "bonus", "police hat", "gun belt" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-29", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert, Deputy of Common Sense, confronts a government safety inspector.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "government safety inspector", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "safety inspection", "trip", "accident", "performance", "police hat", "gun belt" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-30", "subject": "Entrepreneur", "synopsis": "Dilbert considers quitting and working for himself at home, but would miss the human contact.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "quit", "own business", "human contact", "e-mail", "self employed" ] }, { "date": "1998-01-31", "subject": "Entrepreneur", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks Dilbert to work for him, so Dogbert can exploit Dilbert and his inventions.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "quit", "invention", "exploit", "resource", "input", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "1998-02-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Meeting attendees introduce themselves, but Alice can't say who she works for.", "characters": [ "Susan Block", "Max Blump", "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "introduction", "shame by association", "taint" ] }, { "date": "1998-02-02", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Author Norman Solomon says the Dilbert Comic Strip is harmful to workers, Dogbert reports.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "Norman Solomon", "Dilbert Comic Strip", "controlled experiment", "sarcasm", "rebellion", "complacency", "bald" ] }, { "date": "1998-02-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to start discriminating against single people.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "discrimination", "single people", "marital status", "polygamists", "law", "legal" ] }, { "date": "1998-02-04", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert of his plans for Dilbert's career: working him to the ground then downsizing.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "career path", "health", "obsolete", "downsize", "ill", "skill" ] }, { "date": "1998-02-05", "subject": "Telecommuting", "synopsis": "Dilbert wears work clothes while telecommuting to maintain discipline.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "work clothes", "discipline", "theory", "defective clothes", "kitchen" ] }, { "date": "1998-02-06", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert torments Wally by saying the company knows everything about Wally.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "big brother", "telephone logs", "web hits", "e-mail", "urine test", "kill", "policy", "impersonators", "college", "grades", "salary", "family" ] }, { "date": "1998-02-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice not to send personal e-mail messages.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "monitor", "personal message", "unpaid overtime", "clueless", "productivity" ] }, { "date": "1998-02-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dogbert is hired to stand in for a recently-resigned employee at an exit interview.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "exit interview", "resign", "motto", "English", "misunderstood geniuses", "stand-in", "leadership", "hygiene" ] }, { "date": "1998-02-09", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to deal with an issue on a going forward basis.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "time", "going forward", "issue", "time travel" ] }, { "date": "1998-02-10", "subject": "Fashion", "saga": "Dogbert, supermodel", "synopsis": "Dogbert decides to become a supermodel.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "sexy", "mirror", "supermodel", "kryptonite", "bathrobe", "breakfast" ] }, { "date": "1998-02-11", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Dogbert creates his beauty mark with \"Silly Putty\".", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "fashion consultant" ], "keywords": [ "Silly Putty", "supermodel", "beauty mark", "heroin-chic", "dogs with tumours" ] }, { "date": "1998-02-12", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "A fashion consultant mistakes Dogbert's beauty mark for a tumour.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "fashion consultant" ], "keywords": [ "supermodel", "tumour", "beauty mark", "sexy", "unhealthy", "Silly Putty" ] }, { "date": "1998-02-13", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Dogbert's first modelling assignment is a lingerie shoot, wearing black socks.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "fashion consultant" ], "keywords": [ "supermodel", "lingerie", "black socks", "sexy", "ice", "ice", "turned on", "sexually aroused" ] }, { "date": "1998-02-14", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Dogbert describes being a supermodel to Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "supermodel", "sex symbol", "Playgirl magazine", "socks", "philosophy", "inner person" ] }, { "date": "1998-02-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally shows the technical recommendations to the Boss and feels powerless because the decisions were already made.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "technical recommendation", "powerless", "joy", "decision", "Helvetica font", "coach", "criticism" ] }, { "date": "1998-02-16", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Bob is chosen for the industrial espionage program where he quits, works for a competitor, and sends back secret reports.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "industrial espionage program", "quit", "competitor", "report", "fired", "cover story", "secret" ] }, { "date": "1998-02-17", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert announces the company goal to double the efficiency of all employees.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "employee efficiency", "downsize", "marketing", "math" ] }, { "date": "1998-02-18", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to make an infomercial to target potential investors.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "infomercial", "investor", "scam" ] }, { "date": "1998-02-19", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert's infomercial for his no-load funds shows on television.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "scam victim", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "infomercial", "Dogbert No-Load Funds", "pamphlet", "weight loss", "diet" ] }, { "date": "1998-02-20", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert advises the Boss to refer to employees as \"knowledge assets\". That will send an unmistakable message.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "employee", "knowledge asset", "moron", "send an unmistakable message", "consultant" ] }, { "date": "1998-02-21", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Catbert says personal lives reflect on the company so dress codes will be enforced at home.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "personal life", "dress code", "decision", "tutu", "fur hat" ] }, { "date": "1998-02-22", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice has a birthday. Wally makes a charitable donation in her name and Dilbert gives her an ashtray.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "birthday", "gift", "charity", "ashtray", "team spirit" ] }, { "date": "1998-02-23", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert says what's inside a person counts.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "respect", "hidden qualities", "humble", "deceit", "brag", "sweats", "hypocrite" ] }, { "date": "1998-02-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dogbert finds the gullible fool who continues to send anonymous chain letters.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "fool", "anonymous", "chain letter", "Curse of Dogbert", "swami hat" ] }, { "date": "1998-02-25", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok gets a chain letter and faces a choice of death for not forwarding the note or the Curse of Dogbert if he does.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "chain letter", "Curse of Dogbert", "death", "spank" ] }, { "date": "1998-02-26", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert consults the Garbageman on how to handle chain letters.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Garbageman" ], "keywords": [ "chain letter", "Curse of Dogbert", "death", "Garbage Man's Curse", "trashcan" ] }, { "date": "1998-02-27", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert's curse will be cured by the television program 20\/20.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "curse", "cure", "John Stossel", "nemesis", "20\/20", "television", "ear", "swami hat" ] }, { "date": "1998-02-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces the new slogan \"Pressure Makes Diamonds.\"", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "pressure", "slogan", "ridicule", "garbage", "job market", "motto", "pearl" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces everyone will get more project money without increasing the budget.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "budget", "project", "math skill", "salary", "vacation day", "recalculate", "greedy" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-02", "subject": "Project", "saga": "Product with no user interface", "synopsis": "Dilbert is assigned a \"no brainer\" project, but needs help.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "assignment", "no-brainer", "interface design", "beige" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-03", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert describes his project status, a product with no user interface due to budget cuts.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "budget cut", "user interface", "target market", "shy people", "law", "presentation" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-04", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Wally present the product with no user interface to the sales conference.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "product", "sales conference", "user interface", "user manual", "power outage", "evil", "smile", "good", "muscle", "presentation" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces he'll be using the chaos theory of management, but the engineers don't know what the difference will be.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "chaos theory of management" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-06", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert thinks it takes a certain type of personality to telecommute.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "telecommute", "personality", "no personality", "debate", "zero is a number", "bathrobe", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-07", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Alice calculates the hours per day to do various quality jobs on all the projects the Boss assigned.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "time estimate", "excellent versus adequate", "complete fiduciary misconduct", "calculate" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss sets measurable objectives for Tina. They debate how to measure technical writing.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "measurable", "objectives", "technical writer", "total cognitive surrender", "motivate", "newsletter", "opinion", "dogma" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-09", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Dilbert stuns a marketeer and then posts a photo of him in a gallery.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "technical explanation", "photo gallery", "googly-eyed marketeers", "drool" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-10", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Alice takes a tour of the Elbonia factory.", "synopsis": "The Boss wants Alice to inspect their Elbonian factory.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "factory", "inspection", "justification", "approval" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-11", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice tells Wally and Dilbert she's off to Elbonia.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally", "Elbonian", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "mud", "misogyny", "weasel", "compliment", "scream", "kick", "feminist", "chauvinist" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-12", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice gets a tour of the Elbonian factory and sees huge clamps on the employee's heads.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "factory tour", "sweat shop", "head clamp", "cubicle", "morale" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice reports to the Boss Elbonian factory workers wear clamps on their heads.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "factory tour", "head clamp", "complain", "union", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-14", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss struggles with different time zones.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "time zone", "telephone", "math", "freaking me out" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-15", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Wally tells how he is building \"brand equity\" to become the \"Kleenex\" of engineers.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "toil", "brand equity", "skill", "contact", "Kleenex", "engineer", "sneeze" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-16", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Tina learns, on average, women make 75% of what men make.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "pay equity", "average women", "engineer", "problem" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-17", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Tina complains to Wally men are paid 25% more than women.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "pay equity", "math", "praise", "complain" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-18", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Tina hopes women will be judged by their accomplishments, not by their gender.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "accomplishment", "gender", "patent", "banquet", "fashion" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-19", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "The Boss says due to a typo in the user manual, technical support calls are going to a phone sex place.", "characters": [ "Boss", "customer", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "user manual", "typo", "technical support calls", "telephone sex", "complaint" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-20", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss for a letter of recommendation to apply for a job in another division.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "manager" ], "keywords": [ "letter of reference", "job application", "hygiene", "steal", "drug", "anger", "denial" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-21", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains to Catbert the Boss prevented him transferring to a great job.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "job transfer", "complain", "great job", "bad situation", "promise" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-22", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert announces a change in the vacation policy -- time spent in the restroom counts as vacation.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Asok", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "vacation", "policy", "flexible policy", "restroom", "porcelain cruise", "complain", "bathroom" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-23", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Asok presents his new product -- a database of famous serial killers.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Alice", "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "database", "product", "famous serial killers", "weapon", "tattoo", "killer application", "intern" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dogbert sells the Boss on the concept of \"personal habitats\", a replacement for cubicles.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "personal habitat", "expensive", "hellhole junior", "upgrade" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-25", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert shows Wally his new \"personal habitat.\"", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "personal habitat", "clutter", "trashcan", "personal storage unit" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-26", "subject": "Project", "saga": "A rag man from Project Luser begs for resources.", "synopsis": "The rag man from project Luser begs Dilbert for some resources.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "rag man from Project Luser" ], "keywords": [ "rag man", "Project Luser", "budget cut", "beg for resources", "pencil shavings", "coffee" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-27", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The rag man begs for office supplies from Wally.", "characters": [ "rag man from Project Luser", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "rag man", "underfunded project", "office supplies", "binder", "palace", "mocha coffee", "cubicle" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-28", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The rag man begs for an intern for his project.", "characters": [ "rag man from Project Luser" ], "keywords": [ "underfunded project", "spare resources", "intern", "sponge bath", "water fountain" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-29", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "The Boss downplays Alice's performance because she didn't complain enough.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "raise", "challenging job", "goal", "complain", "hygiene", "backstab" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-30", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "The Boss can't give Alice a raise because she's above the salary midpoint.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "raise", "salary midpoint", "stock options", "interpersonal skills", "coach" ] }, { "date": "1998-03-31", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Wally's necktie is getting shorter every day, Dilbert notices.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "necktie", "trend", "casual clothes", "bald" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-01", "subject": "Personnel", "saga": "Alice takes antidepressants to improve morale.", "synopsis": "Alice is not enjoying her job so Catbert prescribes an antidepressant drug.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "enjoy", "antidepressant", "drug", "prescribe", "boss-proof cap" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-02", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice tells the other engineers Human Resources is prescribing powerful antidepressants.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "prescribe", "antidepressant", "drug", "optimism", "enthusiasm" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-03", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally reads the warning label on Alice's antidepressants.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "antidepressant", "warning label", "fatigue", "disorientation", "lack of sex" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-04", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice overdoses on antidepressants so Wally and Dilbert induce vomiting.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "antidepressant", "overdose", "induce vomiting", "mission statement", "heave", "punch", "salary", "injury" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-05", "subject": "Presentation", "synopsis": "A finance guy wastes a four hour meeting and Alice worries she won't get a chance to present.", "characters": [ "Alice", "finance guy", "Wally", "Boss", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "depreciation", "variance", "year-to-date", "drone", "asleep", "stun", "doughnut", "projector" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-06", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Mordac the Preventer of Information Services brings guidelines for passwords.", "characters": [ "Mordac", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "password", "guidelines", "different passwords", "characters and numbers", "case", "squeal like a pig", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-07", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Mordac the Preventer of Information Services confiscates Wally's non-standard computer.", "characters": [ "Mordac", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "non-standard computer", "confiscate", "disable", "hammer", "suspenders", "heavy" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-08", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Mordac the Preventer of Information Services won't upgrade non-standard computers.", "characters": [ "Mordac", "Wally", "janitor" ], "keywords": [ "upgrade", "non-standard computer", "replace", "trash", "policy", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-09", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "Wally has to get rid of his old computer before he can get a new one.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "computer", "union rules", "trash", "catapult", "problem", "engineering solution" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-10", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert says there will be no layoffs after the merger.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Ted", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "layoff", "merger", "job transfer", "frozen asteroid", "team player", "space suit" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-11", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Ted worries he'll be surplussed if he doesn't accept the transfer.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "job transfer", "frozen asteroid", "surplus", "map", "island" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-12", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "A psychologist patient says to Dogbert he criticises others to make himself look smart.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "patient" ], "keywords": [ "criticism", "nuts", "psychologist", "weekly sessions", "paid by the hour", "false memory", "alien", "smart", "grocery list" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-13", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "Ed, an unpopular co-worker, quits.", "synopsis": "Wally takes it well when Ed announces he gave his two-week notice.", "characters": [ "Ed", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "two-week notice", "goodbye lunch", "bore", "quit" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-14", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The engineers insult a co-worker who has given his notice.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Ed" ], "keywords": [ "quit", "obnoxious", "cooperation", "cologne", "expiration date", "two-week notice", "useless", "co-worker" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-15", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Tina collects for Ed's farewell gift but Carol takes money out.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "quit", "farewell gift", "collect", "fine", "guilty" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-16", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The engineers scavenge Ed's stuff after he vacates his office.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "quit", "scavenge", "pants", "raid" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-17", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The Boss fought to get Dilbert's project classified as their top priority, but Dilbert says the project wasn't feasible.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "priority", "feasible", "chairman", "quality festival" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-18", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "The new guy looks smarter than the others, but will look dumber as people get to know him.", "characters": [ "Alice", "new employee" ], "keywords": [ "smarter", "dumber" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-19", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert notices Alice's stress and gives her a booklet titled \"Stress No More.\"", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "stress", "workplace improvements", "booklet", "stress no more", "unpaid overtime", "pamphlet", "ignite", "smoke" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-20", "subject": "Conference", "synopsis": "Dilbert goes to a conference with a goal to \"create interaction around local and global issues of the coming century.\"", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "brochure", "sarcasm", "interaction", "issue", "century", "pamphlet", "ear", "excite" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-21", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "A tall acquaintance changes his airline seat so he can sit next to Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "friend" ], "keywords": [ "conference", "flight", "seat assignment", "talk", "golf stories" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-22", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert checks in at a hotel and is proactively rejected by the desk clerk.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "hotel clerk" ], "keywords": [ "hotel", "check in", "technology conference", "coffee", "attractive woman", "key" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-23", "subject": "Conference", "synopsis": "Dilbert is impressed by the keynote speakers at a conference -- a CEO, politician and a cartoonist.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Scott Adams" ], "keywords": [ "technology", "keynote speaker", "CEO", "cartoonist", "Gilbert", "content", "politician" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-24", "subject": "Conference", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a cartoonist if he ever feels burned out by the pressure of being funny.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Scott Adams" ], "keywords": [ "technology", "comic strip", "burned out", "stress", "speaker", "autograph", "cartoonist" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-25", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert returns from his trip and goes to his cubicle.", "note": "Scott Adams considers this to be one of the naughtiest strips he has ever gotten away with.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "trip", "womb", "cubicle", "poke", "head", "naughty" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-26", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Tod from the Research Department says previous research was either ignored or misinterpreted.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Tod", "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "role model", "meeting", "Research Department", "study", "idiot", "lie", "industry salary study", "quitting time", "misinterpret" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-27", "subject": "Consultant", "saga": "Dogbert, the reasonably-priced consultant", "synopsis": "Dogbert proposes to give good advice for a high price or bad advice for a 10% savings.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "advice", "budget", "economy", "bad advice", "good advice", "running with scissors" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-28", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces some budget recommendations from Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "save money", "recommendation", "price", "hamburger patty" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-29", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Dogbert recommends some changes to the Boss.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "profit", "recommendation", "change", "ombudsman", "martial law", "personal telephone call", "jail", "shoot", "execute" ] }, { "date": "1998-04-30", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Dogbert gloats about his high-paying job.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "overpaid", "underpaid", "funny", "job security" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says the other managers don't know Alice well enough to promote her.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "performance review", "promotion", "anonymous", "hire" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-02", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert tells the Boss qualified external applicants are hard to find.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "headhunt", "applicant", "mime", "relocation cost", "qualification", "cubicle" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-03", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows Matt, a new employee, around the office.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Matt" ], "keywords": [ "introduction", "new employee", "cubicle", "binder", "safety", "assignment", "obsolete", "crush", "spirit" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-04", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice tells about her strange dream, even though no one wants to hear about it.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Asok", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "dream", "research", "grape", "brain", "seedless" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-05", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert asks Alice to balance work and home life.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "balance", "hours", "selfish" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-06", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Marketing made a brochure they think will save the day.", "characters": [ "marketing guy", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "brochure", "product", "market", "sales" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-07", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "A marketing guy admits it was wrong to promise a product that hasn't been made yet.", "characters": [ "marketing guy", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "product", "design", "motto", "permission", "forgiveness" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-08", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "Dogbert donated a billion dollars to the United Nations -- with strings attached.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "French Ambassador" ], "keywords": [ "billion dollars", "United Nations", "France" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-09", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice to be less of a perfectionist and asks Wally to help.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "performance review", "perfectionist", "apathy", "traits", "intrapreneurial spirit", "entrepreneur" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-10", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice to remove everything from her cubicle walls because it destroys the acoustics.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "sarcasm", "acoustic absorption", "shout", "deaf" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-11", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert's Mom says she wants to see Dilbert's office someday.", "characters": [ "Dilbert's Mom", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "office", "cubicle", "imagine", "box" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-12", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert's Mom visits Dilbert's cubicle.", "characters": [ "Dilbert's Mom", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "college", "investment", "class" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-13", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert asks about Wally's reactions when the Boss dumped more work on him.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "workload", "scream", "moan", "staffing level" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-14", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Wally will get a free flu shot, Catbert says.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally", "stockholder" ], "keywords": [ "flu shot", "dart", "hunt", "gun", "rifle", "sick" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-15", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Wally complains about being hunted down and shot with flu darts.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "flu shot", "dart", "hunt", "stockholder", "401(K)", "gun", "rifle" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-16", "subject": "Product", "synopsis": "Dilbert makes some optimistic assumptions to meet the revenue target.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "revenue target", "assumption", "alien", "D'utox Inag", "autopsy video", "technology", "kill" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-17", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dogbert deflates the pompous airbag of the office.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "pompous airbag" ], "keywords": [ "arrogance", "trivia", "laundry", "casserole", "intelligence", "deflate", "oven" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-18", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert creates a comic strip called \"Pippy the Ziphead.\"", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "comic strip", "Pippy the Ziphead", "artwork", "joke" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-19", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dilbert describes Dogbert's comic strip as a clown who says only random things.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "comic strip", "clown", "random", "Pippy the Ziphead", "artistic integrity", "bitter" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-20", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Allen, the office sycophant", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Allen, the new sycophant.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Allen", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "sycophant", "coffee mug", "nod", "butt kisser" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-21", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Allen compare personality traits.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Allen" ], "keywords": [ "sycophant", "career advancement", "lifestyle choice", "parent", "butt kisser" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-22", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for feedback about his plan. Allen the sycophant loves it.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Allen", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "plan", "sycophant", "feedback", "exhale", "breathe", "butt kisser" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-23", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Alice says her eyes are sore from using the computer.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "eye", "finger", "restful", "pain", "nap" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-24", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "The Boss meets a new customer and destroys the relationship.", "characters": [ "sales rep", "customer", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "product", "margin", "price", "feature", "strategy" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-25", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert thinks people like to be directed and told what to do.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "theory", "quit", "pyramid", "dolt", "homely", "ear", "honesty" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-26", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert models a crown since he wants to be leader of the world.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "crown", "charisma", "egomaniacal", "sociopath", "philander" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-27", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dilbert is given a fertility drug.", "synopsis": "The Garbageman explains why there are no more charismatic leaders.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Garbageman", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "crown", "charisma", "leader", "cable television", "scandal", "fertility drug", "coffee", "trashcan", "diversion" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-28", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert gave fertility drugs to Dilbert to provide a diversion to the take over of the world.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "fertility drug", "tabloid", "doctor", "weight gain", "agent" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-29", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dilbert thinks he's pregnant and overeats.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "weight gain", "fertility drug", "pregnant", "hoagie", "baby", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-30", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "A doctor explains Dilbert is not pregnant.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "doctor" ], "keywords": [ "weight gain", "shot", "prescription", "pregnant", "diaper", "sexist" ] }, { "date": "1998-05-31", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets confused in a line at the drug store.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "pharmacist", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "pharmacy", "line", "confusion", "distract", "stress", "medication", "queue", "prescription" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-01", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets an attack of telephone shyness.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "telephone", "shy", "call", "restroom", "hide", "afraid", "bathroom" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-02", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dogbert offers to help cure Dilbert's shyness attacks.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "shy", "attack", "nude", "photo", "Internet", "Motley Crue", "cure", "porn" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-03", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dogbert posts nude photos of Dilbert to the Internet.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "shy", "cure", "Internet", "nude", "photo", "scream", "reject", "porn", "bathrobe", "breakfast" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-04", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Alice gets mad when her program won't compile.", "characters": [ "Alice", "police officer" ], "keywords": [ "software development", "computer", "program", "compile", "code", "rage" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-05", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to know what the budget is for his project but the Boss can't tell him.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "project", "secret", "strategy", "hope" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-06", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to figure out the company's strategy.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "strategy", "cubicle", "wander", "deduce", "first to market", "premiere" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-07", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert's energy dips too low to move, even though coffee is merely yards away.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "coffee", "tired", "energy", "loot", "trousers", "computer", "antidote", "immobile", "co-worker", "pants", "computer", "nude" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-08", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "The unemployment dips and Catbert fears the balance of power will shift.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "newspaper", "unemployment rate", "gargoyle", "cubicle", "bug zapper" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-09", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Wally lowers his productivity because the demand for engineers is greater than the supply.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "supply and demand", "productivity", "equilibrium", "insolence", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-10", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally gets a cubicle roof installed.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "carpenter" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "unemployment", "lemonade", "roof", "hammer" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-11", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Wally lords his technical skills over the people in Marketing.", "characters": [ "Wally", "marketeer" ], "keywords": [ "marketing", "skill", "technical", "project status", "cheerleader" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-12", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Ted wants to revisit the vendor selection issue even though the decision can't be changed.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Phil", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "vendor", "select", "issue", "darn", "indecision", "dullard", "heck", "pitchspoon" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-13", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Asbestos is present in the building, announces the Boss.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "asbestos", "process", "attrition", "insulation", "building" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-14", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "Insane people always control reality, as Dogbert demonstrates.", "characters": [ "woman", "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "reality", "insane", "project", "change", "lie", "weasel", "donation" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-15", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Alice goes to the company's drug treatment program.", "synopsis": "The Boss is worried no one from his division is going for drug treatment.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "drug", "treatment program", "embarrassment", "Midol", "childproof container" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-16", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Alice starts going to the drug treatment program.", "characters": [ "Alice", "counsellor" ], "keywords": [ "drug", "treatment program", "problem", "proactive", "hallucination", "inkblot" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-17", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Alice wants out of the drug treatment program.", "characters": [ "counsellor", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "drug", "treatment program", "form", "registration", "battering ram", "duct tape", "objective" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-18", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The top executives attend a strategy meeting where they don't get out until they agree on a new strategy.", "characters": [ "Boss", "janitor", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "strategy", "meeting", "executive", "broom", "trap" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-19", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The executives got locked in a conference room and starved, Alice tells Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert", "executive" ], "keywords": [ "strategy", "executive", "telephone", "starve", "death", "lock", "outside line" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-20", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The search is on to find a new CEO for the company.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Dogbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "executive search firm", "ethics", "plunder", "challenge", "treasure" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-21", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss complains Dilbert responds too quickly to his e-mail.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "priority", "compile", "mumbo jumbo", "software development" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-22", "subject": "Leadership", "saga": "Dogbert returns as CEO of Dilbert's company.", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Dogbert as the returning CEO.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "plan", "asset", "pillage", "rhyme" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-23", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dogbert gets a new \"gopher\" as CEO.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "gopher", "uniform", "office", "trash", "basketball", "costume" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-24", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains how he will change the stock price for his own personal gain.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "director" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "stock", "price", "gain", "budget", "product", "board of directors", "spin off" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-25", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dogbert decides to double his pay as CEO.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally", "director", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "board of directors", "bleat", "check and balance", "sheep" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-26", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "A representative from \"United Charities\" asks Dogbert to be chair.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "secretary", "man" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "United Charity", "health plan", "free clinic", "award", "trophy", "ceremony" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-27", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "An investment banker helps Dogbert to loot the company and then escape.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "investment banker", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "loot", "merger", "golden parachute", "stock options" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss looks for a project leader for an important project.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "product", "project", "leader", "pay", "passion", "allergy", "medication", "tingle" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for a budget forecast from Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "budget", "forecast", "lost", "paper", "chair", "butt crack" ] }, { "date": "1998-06-30", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "A man asks Dogbert in tech support for help using e-mail.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "IQ", "classical music", "radio", "nemesis" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-01", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dogbert, in tech support, says the software works, so it must be a wetware problem.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ted", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "software", "liveware", "wetware", "CAT scan", "break room", "labour market", "monitor" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-02", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "The Boss complains the Internet is slow, which can be caused by people looking at porn.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "Internet", "slow", "pornography", "track" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-03", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date explains she likes a man with a sense of humour.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "humour", "joke", "spontaneous", "spill", "try too hard", "restaurant" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-04", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date thinks Dilbert is socially defective.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "understand", "social", "defect", "unique", "preference", "argue" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-05", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Posteriors grow to fit the chair, Alice tells the Boss.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "posterior", "chair", "goldfish", "mission", "glue" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-06", "subject": "Travel", "saga": "Dilbert and Wally share a hotel room.", "synopsis": "Catbert announces travelling employees must share hotel rooms.", "characters": [ "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "privacy", "share", "dignity", "hotel", "shower" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-07", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Wally to share a room at the next conference.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "hotel", "share", "roommate", "spoon", "rule", "conference" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-08", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Wally and Dilbert arrive at their shared hotel room.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "hotel", "share", "exercise", "wind", "sleep" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-09", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Wally, sharing a hotel room with Dilbert, wants to exercise in the nude.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "hotel", "share", "exercise", "jumping jacks", "clothes", "single occupancy" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-10", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss wants Dilbert to get rid of all URLs on their web pages.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "web page", "URL", "Uniform Resource Locators", "idiot", "placate" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally reports his accomplishments -- moving data to a disaster recovery backup facility.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "status", "report", "disaster", "recovery", "backup", "diskette", "resume", "accomplishment" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-12", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Dilbert passes the time at a boring meeting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "boring", "unproductive", "creative", "fidget", "pen", "breath" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-13", "subject": "Management", "saga": "The Boss's son is the new manager.", "synopsis": "The Boss's son is the new manager of the technology development group.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Boss's son" ], "keywords": [ "technology development", "college", "attic", "hide", "son-of-a-boss" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss taught his son everything he knows.", "characters": [ "Boss's son", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "pickle", "jar", "juice", "eye", "meeting", "son-of-a-boss" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The new product should be so simple the Boss's wife could use it.", "characters": [ "Boss's son", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "son-of-a-boss", "product", "simple", "mom", "hamster", "physicist" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss's son gets promoted to vice president of Marketing.", "characters": [ "Boss's son", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "knowledge", "promotion", "vice president", "marketing", "piano", "gift", "son-of-a-boss" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-17", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Create a project plan, the Boss tells Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "project", "plan", "strategy", "radiation" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Myron complains his name was changed to Moron by a spell checker.", "characters": [ "Myron", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "moron", "spell checker", "report" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-19", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to build a global satellite network with only $12,000.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "goal", "motivation", "satellite", "budget", "dizzy", "network" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-20", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice overhears a loud conversation outside her cubicle.", "characters": [ "Alice", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "conversation", "cubicle", "loud", "distract", "shut up" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-21", "subject": "Leadership", "saga": "The Boss is replaced by an alien.", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss why he hasn't interfered lately.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "alien", "project", "interfere", "empower", "dumpster", "bonus", "budget" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-22", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "The aliens discuss how the Boss's replacement should act so as not to draw suspicion.", "characters": [ "Boss", "alien", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "alien", "suspicion", "competent", "caring", "leader", "organisation chart", "overwork" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-23", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "The alien, disguised as the Boss, tries to act normal at the office.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Dilbert", "alien", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "alien", "prison", "spaceship", "shorts", "quality of work", "Bad Thing", "tail" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-24", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert thinks the Boss has been replaced by an alien.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "alien", "captive", "prison", "observation" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-25", "subject": "ISO 9000", "synopsis": "The aliens demand to know the Boss's management secrets.", "characters": [ "alien", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "management", "secret", "downsize", "help crash", "Alps", "ISO 9001", "crutches", "ray gun" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for the Boss's help to use the better vendor.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "marketing", "paper", "tissue", "vendor", "reminder" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-27", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains to his Mom and she says she's proud of him.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's Mom" ], "keywords": [ "budget", "deadline", "purchase", "proud", "Navy Seal" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-28", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Dilbert frantically buys things to avoid future budget cuts.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "sales rep" ], "keywords": [ "budget", "deadline", "personality", "moon", "butt" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-29", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Ted wants to talk at the meeting, but all the good points have already come up.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "talking point", "momentum", "value added", "babble" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-30", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Ted compensates for his lack of skills and knowledge by raising issues.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "skill", "knowledge", "issue", "sales", "training", "meeting", "oxygen" ] }, { "date": "1998-07-31", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Ted justifies his existence by clipping articles and routing them around.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "newspaper", "article", "relevant", "route", "stall", "scissors" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-01", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert wants to jump on the garbage.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Garbageman" ], "keywords": [ "garbage", "fresh", "jump", "urge", "silly", "best things in life", "trashcan" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-02", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "Dilbert has no time to meet objectives when he gets interrupted by urgent items.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "objectives", "schedule", "urgent", "handwriting", "sample", "note", "work avoidance" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-03", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "The Boss checks his schedule for today's activities.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "schedule", "wedgie", "vigorous", "blind", "planner" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-04", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Dilbert meets Larry the vendor and his group of tag-alongs.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Larry" ], "keywords": [ "vendor", "tag-along", "product", "knowledge", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-05", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "A woman complains to Catbert she is underpaid for her work.", "characters": [ "woman", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "compensation review", "duty", "underpaid", "qualify", "subordinate", "true story" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-06", "subject": "Project", "saga": "Dilbert creates a digital archive of great art works.", "synopsis": "The company has won a bid to create an electronic archive of great art works.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "bid", "digital archive", "art", "error", "blue period" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-07", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows the digital version of \"The Last Supper\" to the Boss.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "digitise", "art", "index", "Last Supper", "clutter", "bagel", "clip art" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-08", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Tina about his project of collecting great art works.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "digital", "art", "mistake", "story", "newsletter", "improve" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-09", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "The company decides to stop technical support on all its products.", "characters": [ "man", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "product", "recorded message", "customer", "resource", "profit", "bonus", "evil", "spirit" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-10", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "During an interview, Catbert asks the potential hire if constant interruption would bother him.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "interview", "interrupt", "honesty", "ineffective" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-11", "subject": "Science", "saga": "Dilbert and Dogbert fly to the moon and discover NASA's hoax.", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert fly to the moon in a cubicle.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "launch", "rocket", "moon", "liftoff", "seatbelt", "cubicle", "bad idea" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-12", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert land on the moon in their cubicle.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "moon", "cubicle", "space program", "hoax", "NASA", "temperature", "oxygen", "engineer", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-13", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "All the women who love engineers are on the moon, Dilbert discovers.", "characters": [ "woman", "engineer" ], "keywords": [ "NASA", "moon", "experiment", "rival", "shuttle", "space flight", "underwear", "party hat" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-14", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "The engineers have a contest to see who can stay on the moon.", "characters": [ "woman", "engineer" ], "keywords": [ "NASA", "moon", "engineer", "contest", "drink", "underwear", "party hat" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-15", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to work through lunch.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "shoddy", "lunch", "ethics", "banana" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-16", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert tells Wally to fill out a vacation request form or lose his vacation.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "vacation", "request", "form", "exist", "shadow", "cubicle", "philosophy", "prey" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-17", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss sends out his motivation message for the day.", "characters": [ "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "motivation", "message", "indecision", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-18", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Wally didn't like the draft of the user manual because the characters were empty.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "review", "user manual", "draft", "engineer", "bald", "novel" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-19", "subject": "Personnel", "saga": "contract employees versus regular employees.", "synopsis": "Catbert wants a contract employee to become a regular employee.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "contract employee" ], "keywords": [ "contract", "regular", "employee", "compensation", "motivation", "stupid" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-20", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert and a contract employee discuss the benefits of becoming a regular employee.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "contract employee" ], "keywords": [ "contract", "regular", "employee", "compensation", "benefit", "stockholder", "intangible" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-21", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Employees don't fall for the \"intangible benefit\" story anymore, Catbert tells the Boss.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss", "stockholder" ], "keywords": [ "contract", "regular", "employee", "intangible", "benefits", "meeting", "gun", "cane" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-22", "subject": "Administration", "synopsis": "Dilbert gives his time sheet to Carol, who throws it away.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "timesheet", "input", "creative" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-23", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss celebrates everyone who had a birthday in the past year.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Asok", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "birthday", "cake", "honour", "forget", "prop", "sing" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-24", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert combines the words \"con\" and \"insult\" and gets \"consult.\"", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "con", "insult", "consult", "expensive", "demean" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-25", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert, the consultant, recommends whatever amuses him, since he's not responsible to the stockholders.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "accountable", "currency", "Elbonia", "eye-crud", "analysis" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "No bonuses this year, even though Dilbert's performance was excellent, says the Boss.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "bonus", "performance", "Elbonia", "currency", "sting", "fault" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-27", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert says the project will be reviewed by another manager.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "manager" ], "keywords": [ "plan", "phase", "review", "complete", "skip" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The new department mascot will be a beaver says the Boss.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "mascot", "beaver", "woodchuck", "perky", "inspiration" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says Dilbert should act like an agent of change, not a peon.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "peon", "agent of change", "work group", "business card", "paper trail" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-30", "subject": "ISO 9000", "synopsis": "Dilbert documents Carol's procedures for time sheets as an ISO 9000 requirement.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "timesheet", "trashcan", "magic", "complain", "procedure", "clipboard" ] }, { "date": "1998-08-31", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dilbert buys from a weasel even though it's cheaper elsewhere.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "weasel", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "weasel", "price war", "convenience", "pun", "lesser of two evils" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally and Alice recommend the Boss focus his attention on one project.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "project", "attention", "meeting", "help", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks everyone to work nights and weekends for a year.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "work nights", "work weekends", "inspiration", "quit" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-03", "subject": "Administration", "synopsis": "Carol rejects Dilbert's receipts because they look fake.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "voucher", "expense", "receipt", "notarise", "DNA" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-04", "subject": "Administration", "synopsis": "Wally asks Carol to process his voucher.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "voucher", "process", "priority", "chance", "odds" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-05", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice responds to Ted's FYI e-mail with a 12-page message.", "note": "An alternative strip was published on the website showing an extra fourth panel from the newspaper. The extra panel had Alice being violent, holding Ted's heart and saying \"And this is your still-beating heart.\"", "characters": [ "Ted", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "FYI", "decision", "response", "anger", "heart", "kill", "murder" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-06", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks why his request for a computer upgrade was denied.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Mordac" ], "keywords": [ "IS Department", "computer", "upgrade", "evil incarnate", "benefit", "tool", "chair", "IT department", "necessary", "quantify", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-07", "subject": "Professional", "saga": "Ratbert becomes a consultant.", "synopsis": "A consulting company offers a job to Ratbert.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "consultant" ], "keywords": [ "telephone", "consulting company", "pay", "investment bank", "job market" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-08", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Ratbert considers joining a consulting company for a bushel of money.", "characters": [ "consultant", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "bushel of money", "client", "travel", "compensation", "hate" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-09", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Ratbert the consultant gets the least desirable assignments.", "characters": [ "employee", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "partner", "assignment", "cannon", "progress", "client", "helmet", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-10", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Ratbert brags about his salary as a consultant.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "client" ], "keywords": [ "salary", "knowledge" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-11", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Ratbert brags about his salary to Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "brag", "salary", "wealth", "personality", "disease" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-12", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows his new computer in a ring to Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "ring", "computer", "display", "surf", "Internet", "tool", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss gives his annual inspirational presentation -- work hard or the competition will crush us!", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "retreat", "inspiration", "competition", "quality", "afraid", "incompetence", "compromise" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-14", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Wally's late for a meeting so the Boss recaps what has happened.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Asok", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "late", "traffic", "decision", "train" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-15", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice builds strength to have a bone-crushing handshake.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Tina", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "exercise", "handshake", "strength", "hen party", "witty", "bone crushing" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss gives a safety award to Ted for five years without injuries.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ted", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "safety", "award", "injury", "incentive" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-17", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Alice complains she's either stressed out or bored.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "work", "stress", "bored", "ice water", "complaint" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-18", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert doesn't want to remember Dilbert's name.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "name", "memory", "buddy", "big guy", "name tag" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-19", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert creates some work for himself by changing software settings.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "software", "break", "management", "setting" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-20", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains personal business can't be done on company equipment during lunch.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "business", "personal", "lunch", "Internet", "mock", "ones", "zeros" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-21", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert catches Wally stealing empty cardboard boxes.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "cardboard", "box", "recycle", "reuse", "cell", "arrest", "goal" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-22", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Improve employee's performance by making them feel bad about themselves, Catbert recommends.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "performance", "insult", "fault", "list" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-23", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "Anonymous sources say Alice is not meeting her objectives.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "objectives", "anonymous", "fist of death" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-24", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "Alice wants to know who said she wasn't meeting her objectives.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "objectives", "source", "accuracy", "fact", "guilty" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-25", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert will say whatever comes to mind.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "empty", "mind", "eye-opener" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-26", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert makes random observations to fill gaps in the conversations.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "conversation", "gap", "random", "observation", "pillow", "cue", "answer" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Carol complains of too much work so the Boss installs a partition to hide her.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "overwork", "partition", "hide", "success", "true story" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-28", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert presents the \"Broken Binder Award\" to Asok.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "win", "Broken Binder Award", "peer", "trashcan", "dump" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Unusual talents surface in time for the charity talent show.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "talent show", "charity", "math" ] }, { "date": "1998-09-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss gives Dilbert an urgent assignment though he's known about it for weeks.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "assignment", "urgent", "grateful", "last minute" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-01", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Mordac the Preventer summons the Y2K demon.", "characters": [ "Mordac" ], "keywords": [ "IS department", "Y2K", "demon", "IT department", "afraid" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-02", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Tina sends an e-mail to demand information.", "characters": [ "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "seeds of destruction", "snarl" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-03", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert offers a permanent position to a temporary employee.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "temporary employee" ], "keywords": [ "temporary", "employee", "permanent", "orientation", "fool" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss installs a bell to improve morale.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "morale", "goal", "bell", "accomplishment", "magazine", "kill" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-05", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The Boss says people who miss a staff meeting must buy doughnuts for the next one.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "staff meeting", "freedom", "doughnut", "policy" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss shovels assignments onto Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "assignment", "shovel", "acronym", "priority" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert says he only has time to do one assignment and asks the Boss to choose which.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "assignment", "priority", "essential", "combine" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss doesn't want to fire Donald, instead make him quit.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Donald", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "policy", "moron", "unpleasant", "fired", "quit", "coyote" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-09", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert gives a nose strip to Dilbert hoping increasing oxygen to his brain will make Dilbert a better conversationalist.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "nose strip", "oxygen", "conversation", "optimism" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-10", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert complains about Dilbert's breathing.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "yell", "breathe", "nostril" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to go beyond serving customers; he wants to delight them.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "customer", "price-gouge", "defect", "product", "delight", "empathy", "pity", "meeting" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-12", "subject": "Training", "saga": "Dilbert teaches COBOL in Elbonia.", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to teach a COBOL class in Elbonia.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "COBOL", "teach", "class", "plane", "scuba" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-13", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains to the Boss about teaching a COBOL class in Elbonia.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "COBOL", "class", "teach", "problem", "reschedule" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-14", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Dilbert teaches COBOL to Elbonians.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "COBOL", "class", "computer", "keyboard", "delete" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-15", "subject": "Y2K", "synopsis": "The COBOL class in Elbonia ends.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "COBOL", "class", "training", "cabbage" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Asok is to be groomed for management.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "groom", "bug", "fur", "lick", "prerequisite" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The employees will lose their cubicle walls and be constantly monitored, Catbert says.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "open plan", "office", "surveillance camera", "telephone call", "web", "blood test", "flog", "phase" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for a cash flow estimate for Dilbert's project.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "delegate", "cash flow", "project", "estimate", "test", "experience" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-19", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "Catbert creates a new policy: employees can't eat at their desks.", "characters": [ "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "eat", "desk", "reason", "plausible", "hate", "reason" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-20", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "A headless man.", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces the new team member, a headless man.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Edward Mann" ], "keywords": [ "team", "new employee", "headless man", "body", "decision", "fire", "Microsoft", "Redmond", "meeting" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-21", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice wonders what the headless man's name is.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Edward Mann", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "headless man", "team", "new employee", "wallet", "name", "identification", "hug" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-22", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Alice learns the name of the headless man.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally", "Edward Mann" ], "keywords": [ "driver's license", "middle name", "headless man" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-23", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert says the new headless man isn't working out.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Edward Mann" ], "keywords": [ "headless man", "mistake", "hire", "fire", "insubordination" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-24", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Dogbert outlines his marketing strategy and how customers must be brainwashed.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "brainwash", "brand", "goal", "advertisement", "brain stem", "product", "brain" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss tries to improve communication by distributing pennies.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "communication", "penny", "two cents' worth", "voicemail", "dead", "nickel" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-26", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The engineers attend a meeting that has no real purpose.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "purpose", "issue", "action plan", "stomp", "urge", "professional" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "After he outlines the plan, the Boss asks for irrational concerns.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "plan", "pretend", "concern", "irrational", "headphone", "music", "ambiguity", "presentation", "projector" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-28", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Dogbert says the company must focus on the gullible moron segment.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "actor", "moron", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "target market", "gullible", "moron", "commercial", "advertisement", "rain forest", "kitten" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-29", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Dogbert reports phony sincerity in advertising works.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "advertisement", "phony", "sincerity", "invisible robot", "empty box", "manufacturing" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-30", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Dogbert prepares for complaints about the invisible robot.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "customer", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "invisible robot", "support staff", "sensor", "complain", "watch" ] }, { "date": "1998-10-31", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "No more cubicle walls, the Boss says, so communication will be improved.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "wall", "communication", "noble", "idea", "leash", "brand", "morale" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says getting a nickname for the group will solve the morale problem.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "morale", "problem", "nickname", "scatological", "monkey", "grumpy", "optimism" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-02", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "Ann likes to curse.", "synopsis": "Ann warns she likes to curse.", "characters": [ "Ann", "Dilbert", "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "swear", "curse", "warm-up", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-03", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Ann will curse until people's eyebrows burn off, she warns.", "characters": [ "Ann", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "swear", "curse", "eyebrow", "anger", "power" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-04", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Ann barges in wherever she wants.", "characters": [ "Ann", "Boss", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "swear", "curse", "barge", "knock", "door", "hinge" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-05", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert bets Ann can light a match by cursing at it.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ted", "Ann" ], "keywords": [ "swear", "curse", "ignite", "match", "fire", "hair", "skull" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss hires a humourless blob as creative director.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "humourless blob" ], "keywords": [ "creative director", "innovation", "idea", "loose cannon" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-07", "subject": "Presentation", "synopsis": "Dilbert presents to humourless blobs.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "humourless blob" ], "keywords": [ "cartoon", "join in", "projector", "humour" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to make Wally quit.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "performance review", "fire", "standards", "cubicle", "washroom", "stall", "living hell" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-09", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Alice complains about small raises even though she works hard.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "work hard", "motivation", "raise" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants a project plan for the software changes.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "project", "plan", "resource", "justify", "software development", "laptop computer" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss does not understand Alice's technical recommendation, so he will rely on his insights.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "recommendation", "report", "insight", "knowledge", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-12", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert tests his emergency monarch system.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "king", "bow", "peasant", "monarchy", "emergency", "wretched", "crown", "bathrobe", "breakfast" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-13", "subject": "Administration", "saga": "Dilbert signs a form he doesn't understand.", "synopsis": "Carol wants Dilbert to sign a non-employee certification form.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "raise", "sign", "form", "certification", "messenger", "file cabinet" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-14", "subject": "Administration", "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't want to sign Carol's form.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "form", "apply", "rule", "helpless", "attitude" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to keep the organisation chart secret and shred internal phone lists.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "organisation chart", "telephone list", "headhunter", "steal", "initiative", "shred" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-16", "subject": "Administration", "synopsis": "Carol expects Dilbert to sign the form even though he doesn't understand it.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "form", "sign", "legalese", "incomprehensible", "legal right", "involuntary", "biological", "test" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-17", "subject": "Health", "saga": "Unicorn horn.", "synopsis": "The Boss tests an experimental medical procedure on the engineers: unicorn antidepressant therapy.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "experiment", "medical procedure", "unicorn antidepressant therapy", "horn", "laugh", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-18", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains to his date why he has a unicorn horn.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "unicorn", "horn", "culture", "virility", "restaurant" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-19", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains to Catbert about growing a unicorn horn.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "unicorn", "horn", "complain", "form", "permission", "DNA", "legalese", "stupid" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-20", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert counts on his mother's love even though he has a unicorn horn.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's Mom" ], "keywords": [ "love", "unicorn", "horn" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-21", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "The Garbageman offers to cure Dilbert's unicornitis.", "characters": [ "Garbageman", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "unicorn", "horn", "DNA", "cell normaliser", "truck" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-22", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "The goal is zero injuries this year, the Boss says. Anyone injured must fill out a resignation form.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "injury", "goal", "form", "resign", "injury report" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-23", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice doesn't like her slow-witted co-workers.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "love", "slow-witted co-worker", "soda", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-24", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "The Boss straps magnets to his body for health reasons.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "magnet", "fascination", "impact", "erase", "hard drive", "disc drive" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-25", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to teach morons how to get high-level jobs.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "student" ], "keywords": [ "moron", "high-level job", "wag", "addiction", "ear", "tongue" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-26", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "A moron enters the field of knowledge management under Dogbert's guidance.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "CFO", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "moron", "job counselling", "expert", "knowledge management", "optimisation", "initiative", "smart", "leverage", "key learning" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "A moron babbles acronyms to Dilbert.", "characters": [ "CFO", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "acronym", "CFO", "idiot", "mystery", "babble" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The CFO asks for a one-sentence description of everyone's projects.", "characters": [ "CFO", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "project", "budget", "decision", "semicolon", "sentence", "chief financial officer" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-29", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "The engineers attend a Windows NT class put on by a computer-illiterate trainer.", "characters": [ "trainer", "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "Windows NT", "teach", "stretch", "computer", "cardboard box", "eraser", "moose", "mouse", "teeth", "keyboard" ] }, { "date": "1998-11-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss gives Alice a \"Stone of Quality\" award.", "characters": [ "Boss", "police officer", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "award", "Stone of Quality", "engrave", "weapon", "motivation", "rock" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-01", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "The Boss has no brain function after his accident, but he can still talk.", "characters": [ "doctor", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "accident", "brain", "talk", "staff meeting", "IV stand", "EEG" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-02", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Microsoft misspelled a word in their spell-checking software.", "characters": [ "Microsoft employee", "Bill Gates" ], "keywords": [ "Microsoft", "headquarters", "spell checker", "market power", "industry standard", "Comdex" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-03", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Tina discovers a misspelled word in her spell-checking software.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "sabotage", "spell checker", "global conspiracy", "Webster", "dictionary" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-04", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert recommends \"face time\" with the vice president to get a promotion.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "vice president", "secretary", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "promotion", "face time", "photo", "relative", "paperwork" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "A report shows what raises would have been if the company hadn't cancelled raises.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "raise", "report", "cancel", "imaginary", "pretend" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-06", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok asks Wally why employees are evil and obstructionist.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "wisdom", "mentor", "evil", "obstruction", "coincidence", "good", "stab", "lazy", "headache", "explode" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-07", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Asok reports to Alice and gets cut off from the world.", "synopsis": "Asok now reports to Alice instead of the Boss. They can no longer communicate directly.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "report", "speak", "middle person", "request", "e-mail" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Now that he reports to her, Asok has trouble getting Alice to respond.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "respond", "e-mail", "voicemail", "telephone company", "question" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-09", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok complains no one returns his calls or replies to e-mails.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "telephone", "e-mail", "loser", "no offence" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert gives a financial model of the company to the Boss.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "financial model", "Charles Lindbergh", "lightbulb", "danger", "understand" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss creates his own financial model of the company without knowing assumptions.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "financial model", "assumption", "spreadsheet", "strategy", "pay", "tax rate" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss experiments with his financial model: sales go up as he changes the page number.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "financial model", "danger", "spreadsheet", "page number", "sales" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-13", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Justin, in an interview, tells why he wants to work for the company.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Justin" ], "keywords": [ "interview", "asthma", "medical research", "hydroelectric dam", "idealism", "box" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-14", "subject": "Family", "saga": "Dogbert is cute with his ears up.", "synopsis": "Dogbert discovers he's cuter when his ears are up.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cute", "ear", "kill", "jury" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-15", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert withdraws money from other peoples' accounts. He can do that because he is cute.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "bank teller" ], "keywords": [ "cute", "ear", "bank", "withdrawal", "account", "funny", "count" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-16", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert goes driving. He gets away with crimes because he is cute.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "police officer" ], "keywords": [ "cute", "ear", "crime", "drive", "car", "ambulance", "driver's license", "warning" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-17", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Ted brings a radio to his cubicle, much to the annoyance of Alice.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "radio", "request", "smash" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-18", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Ted opposes Dilbert's plan without having read it.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "plan", "oppose", "opinion", "agenda", "meeting", "emotionally invested" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-19", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert walks through a decoy plan for people to hate, and then displays the real plan.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "plan", "worm", "decoy", "mouth" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-20", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss worries the arrows for the direction signs are pointing the wrong way.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "problem", "conference", "direction sign", "arrow", "site", "deep-water platform", "hotel", "bid", "right", "left" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-21", "subject": "Dating", "saga": "Dilbert dates a supermodel.", "synopsis": "Dilbert chats with a supermodel who has trouble getting dates.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "chat", "computer", "supermodel", "beauty", "intimidate", "system administrator", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-22", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert prepares for his date with a supermodel.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Bonita" ], "keywords": [ "supermodel", "Internet", "vase", "trash", "flower", "skull", "skeleton" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-23", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "The supermodel looks much thinner in person.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Bonita" ], "keywords": [ "restaurant", "camera", "supermodel", "makeup", "hair" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-24", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert and the supermodel order dinner. Dilbert has much more than the supermodel.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Bonita", "waitress" ], "keywords": [ "restaurant", "spaghetti", "garlic bread", "mint", "supermodel", "skull", "skeleton" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-25", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert says goodnight to the supermodel on their first date.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Bonita" ], "keywords": [ "goodnight", "kiss", "famous", "sexy", "eye socket", "skull", "skeleton", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-26", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss says they must maintain speed and be faster than the competition.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "motivational speech", "sign", "desk", "urgent", "competition", "logic" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-27", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "The new corporate policy puts Alice to sleep.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "corporate", "mumbo jumbo", "sleep", "plan", "initiative", "framework", "architecture", "strategy" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-28", "subject": "Management", "saga": "The sadistic nut.", "synopsis": "The Boss hires Dennis, a sadistic nut.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dennis", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "sadistic nut", "indispensable", "vomit" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-29", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dennis the sadistic nut attacks a woman at a meeting.", "characters": [ "co-worker", "Dennis", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "sadistic nut", "meeting", "question", "body lotion", "dead camel", "skill", "prima donna" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-30", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dennis the sadistic nut attacks Asok.", "characters": [ "Dennis", "Asok", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "sadistic nut", "intern", "cruel", "honesty", "fun", "marriage" ] }, { "date": "1998-12-31", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Catbert sends Wally home because shorts are not acceptable.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "shorts", "dress code", "skinhead", "bald", "acceptable" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Morale is low according to the annual employee satisfaction survey.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "survey", "annual", "employee satisfaction", "morale", "bonus" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-02", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Newspaper subscriptions will not be paid for by the company, the Boss says.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "newspaper", "subscription", "relevance", "jabber", "enjoy" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-03", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "In an interview, Catbert calls the applicant \"Tubby,\" instead of his real name, \"Toby.\"", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Toby" ], "keywords": [ "interview", "hire", "tubby", "dumb", "resume", "human resources", "entrepreneur", "injury" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-04", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert thinks Dennis, the sadistic nut, is doing a good job.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dennis" ], "keywords": [ "sadistic nut", "party", "happy", "good work", "spinach dip" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-05", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice rigged the shredder to kill Dennis, the sadistic nut.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "shredder", "sadistic nut", "kill", "warranty", "switch", "marketing", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Service reps who excel at customer service will be celebrated, the Boss says.", "note": "A preliminary version of the strip was published on the website that had a different punchline, \"is this some sort of Special Olympics thing?\"", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "service rep", "celebrate", "customer service", "extra work", "extra pay", "smart", "Special Olympics" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The team must be more like eagles than ducks, the Boss says.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "eagle", "duck", "egg", "pre-reading" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice to attend a meeting and answer technical questions with ventriloquism.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "man" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "technical", "question", "ventriloquism", "IP router", "suppository", "configuration" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-09", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "Alice's performance exceeded the Boss's expectations but she doesn't get the top rating.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "exceed", "expectation", "rating", "shoot for", "harpoon" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-10", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert writes a how to book that tells how to achieve spectacular results without trying.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "how to book", "book", "write", "lottery", "real estate", "ice cream", "lose weight", "gymnasium", "angel", "witness", "recycle", "bathrobe", "near-death experience" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-11", "subject": "Fashion", "saga": "Wally has a ponytail and gets a web-based business.", "synopsis": "Wally announces he'll let his hair grow long in back.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "Wally report", "staff meeting", "hair", "ponytail", "artistic", "coffee mug" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-12", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Wally shows Asok how he puts his hair into a ponytail.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "hair", "ponytail", "middle age", "cool", "raising the bar" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-13", "subject": "Investment", "synopsis": "Some venture capitalists want to invest in Wally's web-based business even though he only has a ponytail.", "characters": [ "venture capitalist", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "entrepreneur", "venture capital", "ponytail", "web", "cool" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-14", "subject": "Investment", "synopsis": "Wally shows off his money to start a web-based business.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "entrepreneur", "web", "business", "ponytail", "accounting", "irregularities", "lazy", "dishonest" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-15", "subject": "Investment", "synopsis": "Venture capitalists want to know why Wally has squandered their investment.", "characters": [ "venture capitalist", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "cool", "ponytail", "fund", "Internet", "swoon", "E-commerce" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-16", "subject": "Entrepreneur", "synopsis": "Wally's plan for his start-up company is to become the dominant source for tuna sandwiches.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "Internet", "start-up", "company", "plan", "dominate", "tuna sandwich", "ship", "overnight" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-17", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "A security guard catches Dilbert trying take equipment out without the proper form.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "security guard" ], "keywords": [ "security", "authorise", "equipment removal", "form", "signature", "birth certificate", "allege", "baby picture" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-18", "subject": "Entrepreneur", "synopsis": "Wally describes how running his Internet company led to his low job satisfaction.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "Internet", "job satisfaction", "disloyalty", "theft", "sabotage" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-19", "subject": "Entrepreneur", "synopsis": "During an interview, Wally is asked how his start-up company got so hot.", "characters": [ "Wally", "television reporter" ], "keywords": [ "Internet", "start-up", "interview", "television", "ponytail", "hot", "television camera", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-20", "subject": "Entrepreneur", "synopsis": "Wally says he sold his business and got married.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Roxie", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Internet", "marriage", "trophy wife", "money", "prenuptial agreement", "honeymoon", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-21", "subject": "Entrepreneur", "synopsis": "Wally says he learned a lesson from losing his money and his wife.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "money", "trophy wife", "learn a lesson", "forget", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-22", "subject": "Accounting", "synopsis": "A certain boss brought down profits by calling a 900 number from an airplane phone.", "characters": [ "accountant", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "profit", "900 telephone number", "credit card", "airplane telephone", "travel", "wife", "personal call" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-23", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A co-worker wants to floss in front of Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "floss", "rude", "disgust", "hate", "ignore" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-24", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Some women help Dilbert get a stain out of his shirt.", "characters": [ "woman", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "wine", "stain", "shirt", "clean", "margarita", "pepper spray", "lighter fluid", "salt" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-25", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Carol is interrupted by a call from home.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "office supplies", "family", "discipline", "homework", "gasoline", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-26", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert waits for Carol to get off the phone to her kids.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "family", "kid", "cheetah", "panda", "office supplies", "key", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-27", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert observes people with a lot of experience are the ones who die.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Bob", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "experience", "die", "immortality", "overrated", "plan", "coffee can" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-28", "subject": "Corporate Services", "saga": "Carol sends out an urgent document.", "synopsis": "Alice finished a RFQ and wants Carol to send it out before the deadline.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "RFQ", "all-nighter", "deadline", "send", "stack", "quote", "bid" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-29", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Carol is very careless about delivering an urgent document.", "characters": [ "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "RFQ", "urgent", "overnight", "drop box", "coffee", "truck", "bumper", "quote", "bid" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss complains Alice missed the RFQ deadline and they lost a customer.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "RFQ", "deadline", "overnight", "mail", "lazy", "apology", "bonus", "guess", "quote", "evil", "secretary", "bid" ] }, { "date": "1999-01-31", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss doesn't want to share the company's strategic plan with Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "strategic plan", "secret", "employee", "sabotage", "report", "glance", "warranty", "chair", "manage to a strategy" ] }, { "date": "1999-02-01", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok tries to reserve the conference room and Carol laughs in his face.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "conference room", "reserve", "laugh", "request", "power", "explain" ] }, { "date": "1999-02-02", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Marketing people want engineers to build products the engineers didn't help plan.", "characters": [ "marketing guy", "Clover", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "product", "plan", "session", "art history", "college", "cloak", "invisible" ] }, { "date": "1999-02-03", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert starts referring to himself in the third person.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "third person", "great", "idea", "ruin", "crown", "sceptre" ] }, { "date": "1999-02-04", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Doctor Dogbert", "synopsis": "Dogbert decides to become a doctor, where his large ego will seem normal.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "patient", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "ego", "doctor", "ulcer", "challenge", "die", "underwear", "crown", "sceptre", "Doctor Dogbert", "stethoscope" ] }, { "date": "1999-02-05", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert, the doctor, recommends a patient eat grass from his lawn.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "doctor", "herbal", "therapy", "lawn", "bald", "cure", "storm gutter", "prescription", "Doctor Dogbert", "underwear", "crown", "stethoscope" ] }, { "date": "1999-02-06", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "A patient with a hurt elbow shows Dogbert his rear end.", "characters": [ "patient", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "doctor", "elbow", "hurt", "marketing", "vote", "butt", "ass", "career", "Doctor Dogbert", "crown", "stethoscope", "prescription" ] }, { "date": "1999-02-07", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Mordac the Preventer of information services takes Dilbert's computer and PDA.", "characters": [ "Mordac", "Dilbert", "Catbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "computer", "PDA", "network cable", "printer", "human resources", "share", "two wrongs make a right", "reality", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "1999-02-08", "subject": "Meeting", "saga": "Meeting moth", "synopsis": "A \"meeting moth\" is attracted to Dilbert's meeting.", "characters": [ "meeting moth", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "urge", "beat", "senseless", "envy", "sense of purpose" ] }, { "date": "1999-02-09", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Alice suffer at a meeting with a \"meeting moth.\"", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice", "meeting moth" ], "keywords": [ "clothes", "eat", "swear", "empty stomach" ] }, { "date": "1999-02-10", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "A \"meeting moth\" detects a meeting people are trying to hide from him.", "characters": [ "meeting moth", "Asok", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "sense", "irresistible", "doughnut", "cedar", "join", "sacrifice" ] }, { "date": "1999-02-11", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dogbert, on tech support, tries to discourage a caller.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "question", "transfer", "hope", "destroy", "understand", "technology", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1999-02-12", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dogbert, on tech support, wants a serial number from inside a unit even though opening the case will void the warranty.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "caller" ], "keywords": [ "serial number", "warranty", "inside", "case", "catch-22", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1999-02-13", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to know if he has too much false humility.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ false, "humility", "fetid", "carp", "experience", "joy", "week", "difference", "crown", "sceptre" ] }, { "date": "1999-02-14", "subject": "Safety", "synopsis": "An employee complains to Catbert the ceiling in his work area had collapsed.", "characters": [ "employee", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "ceiling", "complain", "steel beam", "fraud", "unconscious", "suicide" ] }, { "date": "1999-02-15", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "At the beginning of a long meeting, Asok is much too enthusiastic.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Asok", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "definition", "Information Technology", "material", "enthusiasm", "stupidity" ] }, { "date": "1999-02-16", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert says he values input from all employees except morons.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "input", "moron", "Pinball Wizard", "ear", "sing" ] }, { "date": "1999-02-17", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "An engineer can't design a power supply, so puts a nail in a block of wood.", "characters": [ "engineer", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "power supply", "design", "nail", "wood", "vacation", "idea", "gizmo", "change" ] }, { "date": "1999-02-18", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Everyone must take a short lunch break, the Boss says.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "lunch", "break", "time", "death" ] }, { "date": "1999-02-19", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date shows him her pierced bellybutton.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "pierce", "bellybutton", "kiss", "dry heaves" ] }, { "date": "1999-02-20", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss shows how he deals with a critical assignment.", "characters": [ "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "to do", "pile", "critical", "assignment" ] }, { "date": "1999-02-21", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Wally presents \"The Wally Report\" at the staff meeting and says he received record levels of work.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "staff meeting", "Wally report", "assignment", "stockholder", "work", "moral", "ethics" ] }, { "date": "1999-02-22", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Allen, the sacrificial lamb", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Allen, the new sacrificial lamb.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Allen", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "sacrificial lamb", "headcount", "vacancy", "budget cut", "attachment" ] }, { "date": "1999-02-23", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss reassigns Allen the sacrificial lamb to be part of the furniture budget.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Allen" ], "keywords": [ "sacrificial lamb", "budget", "salary", "furniture", "credenza" ] }, { "date": "1999-02-24", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Allen complains to Catbert about being a sacrificial lamb.", "characters": [ "Allen", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "sacrificial lamb", "furniture", "precedent", "help", "position" ] }, { "date": "1999-02-25", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The executives have started a strategic planning session, the Boss says.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "executive", "strategy", "plan", "session", "data", "knowledge", "reorganise", "magazine", "illusion" ] }, { "date": "1999-02-26", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Tina uses tears to defend herself from the Boss.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Tina", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "secret weapon", "cry", "trouble", "glass ceiling", "marry", "rich" ] }, { "date": "1999-02-27", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "Catbert creates a policy about tip limits when travelling.", "characters": [ "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "reimbursement", "travel", "tip", "meal", "fork" ] }, { "date": "1999-02-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss explains why Asok doesn't get a raise.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "raise", "employee", "motorcycle", "generalise", "cocaine", "crack", "mentor", "SAT", "mood", "tickle", "youth", "young" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-01", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dense planets have more gravity, Dilbert tells Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "mass", "gravity", "planet", "logic", "loose end", "circular reasoning", "dense" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-02", "subject": "Presentation", "saga": "Dilbert does a presentation.", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to create a presentation for foreign visitors.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "foreign", "visitor", "topic", "Austria", "Australia", "language" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-03", "subject": "Presentation", "synopsis": "Dogbert talks about fear of public speaking before Dilbert's presentation.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "fear", "public speaking", "death", "favour", "sleep", "bathrobe", "laptop computer" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-04", "subject": "Presentation", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows a cartoon at the beginning of his presentation.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cartoon", "punchline", "overhead projector" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-05", "subject": "Presentation", "synopsis": "Dilbert wraps up his boring presentation.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "conclusion", "boredom", "accomplishment", "air" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-06", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Wally describes his religion.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "God", "religion", "create", "coffee", "stir", "lonely", "finger", "coffee maker" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-07", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "The Boss shows Alice his family picture, which only contains him.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "morale", "family picture", "freak", "question", "suffer" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss hires either a technology expert or a rodeo clown.", "characters": [ "Boss", "rodeo clown", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "understand", "mumble", "technology", "expert", "hay", "belt buckle" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-09", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The new employee clowns around with the Boss.", "characters": [ "rodeo clown", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "charge", "bull", "fast", "tease", "belt buckle" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-10", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "The Boss gets in to astrology.", "synopsis": "Dogbert convinces the Boss to use astrology.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "astrology", "stars", "decision", "random", "QED", "guide", "swami hat" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss's astrologer tells him to approve Alice's project.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "astrology", "project", "approval", "decision", "judgement", "ignorance", "theory" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Someone is trying to rip off the Boss, his astrologer says.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Dogbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "plot", "astrology", "rip off", "hourly billing" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains about conflicting instructions.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "opposite", "accountable", "vague feeling" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-14", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert's wrecking company takes care of the Boss's car.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert Wrecking Company", "crush", "car", "monthly plan", "model", "dealer", "business card" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-15", "subject": "Management", "saga": "The scapegoat", "synopsis": "The scapegoat gets shot.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "scapegoat", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "shoot", "wound", "gun", "messenger", "don't shoot the messenger", "fault", "rifle", "scope" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-16", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The scapegoat says getting shot happens far too often.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "scapegoat" ], "keywords": [ "shoot", "National Rifle Association", "NRA", "chili", "cook off", "accusation" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The scapegoat is transferred to sales to take the blame for low sales.", "characters": [ "Boss", "scapegoat" ], "keywords": [ "transfer", "sales", "blame", "perfect world", "useless", "product" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-18", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "A woman tells Dilbert about a nicer woman.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "party", "drink", "glare", "telephone", "story", "fault" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-19", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally wants to do the analysis at the last minute so the Boss won't have time for changes.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "analysis", "report", "last minute", "unnecessary change", "deadline" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-20", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Every time the Boss and Alice disagree, she's proved correct.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "disagree", "correct", "initial", "prove" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-21", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces a big dumb guy who is a habitual liar.", "characters": [ "Boss", "big dumb guy", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "dumb", "liar", "track record", "steal", "learn", "lazy" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-22", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Hammerhead Bob bores Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Hammerhead Bob", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "boring", "conversation", "bathroom", "nail", "follow" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-23", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Hammerhead Bob pursues Asok.", "characters": [ "Hammerhead Bob", "Asok", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "boring", "conversation", "body language", "personal space", "ear plug" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-24", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Carol switches Wally to a new project code.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "budget", "code", "bald", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-25", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Ted tells about his new baby and Wally and Dilbert insult him.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "baby", "wife", "moron", "foster care", "insult", "instinct" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-26", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Wally wears jeans under his work pants.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "jeans", "casual", "pants", "comfort", "butt", "secret", "coffee maker" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-27", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Ratbert finds himself through art.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "art", "finding myself", "painting", "palette", "brush", "beret" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-28", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert mocks Dilbert for a stupid opinion created by Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "experiment", "opinion", "mock", "Internet", "plan", "laryngitis", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-29", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert's Mom flames Bill Gates via e-mail.", "characters": [ "Dilbert's Mom", "Dilbert", "Bill Gates" ], "keywords": [ "infrared", "Linux", "e-mail", "competition keeper missile", "flame" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-30", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dogbert defends against Microsoft missiles launched because of an e-mail flame.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "reporter" ], "keywords": [ "Linux", "Bill Gates", "missile", "anti-Microsoft", "press conference", "operating system" ] }, { "date": "1999-03-31", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dogbert's tech support advises a customer to blow up a power relay station.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "reboot", "van", "dynamite", "terrorist", "bazooka", "sabotage", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss complains Wally doesn't answer his phone.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "telephone", "answer", "trick question", "meeting" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-02", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert says the suggested process will fail no matter what.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "process", "fail", "effort", "tool", "conference call" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-03", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date says her last boyfriend was a despicable creep.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "boyfriend", "creep", "crime", "pay" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-04", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert reviews a press release for accuracy and spends most of his time correcting grammar.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Peggy", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "PR", "public relations", "press release", "accuracy", "squirrel", "grammar", "criticism", "spell", "injury", "bandage" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-05", "subject": "ISO 9000", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to hide non-conforming documents prior to the upcoming ISO 9000 audit.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "audit", "volunteer", "document", "torch", "car", "hide", "trunk" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-06", "subject": "Budget", "saga": "Asok creates a budget forecast.", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Asok to create a budget forecast.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "budget", "forecast", "job", "satisfaction", "guts", "hate" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-07", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "Wally wants a helicopter added to the budget forecast.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "cycle", "helicopter", "padding", "chopper", "albino", "tiger", "cub" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-08", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "Asok gives the Boss an early copy of the budget forecast.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "calculate", "double check", "allow for error", "mistake", "upside-down" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-09", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "Dilbert thinks Asok's budget won't work out.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "spreadsheet", "error", "disaster", "sing" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-10", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "The Boss downsizes a department because he didn't look on the back of a piece of paper.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "downsizing", "ease of use", "photocopy", "ignorance", "meeting", "live", "die", "sword" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-11", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Ted dismisses Dilbert's request for information with lies -- and not even plausible ones.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ted", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "information", "request", "lie", "squirrel", "secret", "fob off", "promise", "military", "lair", "plausible" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-12", "subject": "Philosophy", "saga": "Phil teaches Asok about life.", "synopsis": "Asok thinks the bonus plan will benefit him because he's working at peak performance.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Phil", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "bonus", "confidence", "plan", "Mr. Reality", "car", "pitchspoon" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-13", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Asok goes to Phil's secret lair to learn about reality.", "characters": [ "Phil", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "lair", "secret", "reality", "dumpster", "cubicle", "garbage", "french fry", "lumbar", "comfort", "pitchspoon" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-14", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Phil tells Asok life is like a dumpster.", "characters": [ "Phil", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "lair", "dumpster", "garbage", "life", "stink", "reincarnate" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-15", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Asok wants to repay Phil for teaching him about life.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Phil" ], "keywords": [ "life", "repay", "wax", "spoon", "luck", "pitchspoon" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-16", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert's Mom wants revenge for the person who designed the operating system she uses.", "characters": [ "Dilbert's Mom", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "moron", "design", "operating system", "computer", "lock up", "reboot", "kick" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-17", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Police investigate Dilbert's Mom because she threatened to kill a computer manufacturer.", "characters": [ "police officer", "Dilbert's Mom" ], "keywords": [ "threat", "kill", "computer", "manufacturer", "lock up", "rebook", "convince" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Patty, a process manager, who doesn't know how to do anything, only how to do things better.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Patty", "Dilbert", "Asok", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "process manager", "meeting", "improve", "facilitate" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-19", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss ignores Dilbert's greeting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "greet", "morning", "ignore", "exist", "pay" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-20", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice presents the results of her risk assessment -- no risk of any management.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "risk management", "assessment", "blank", "presentation", "easel" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-21", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dogbert recommends support only via the Internet and then trying to scare off people.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "consulting", "telephone", "Internet", "personal question", "shower", "home address" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-22", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Tina concludes her project needs to fail, with the blame going to the Boss.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "realise", "success", "fail", "indecisive", "strategy", "nod" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-23", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice lists her morale issues to the Boss.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "misogyny", "morale", "issue", "category", "incompetence", "arrogance", "time of the month", "laptop computer", "sexist" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-24", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Catbert thinks tight pantyhose is responsible for Alice's morale problem.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "morale", "pantyhose", "head", "oversize", "blame" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to solve their distribution problem the same way Eskimos store ice during winter.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert Presents", "managing by analogies", "distribution", "Eskimo", "winter", "Summer", "ice", "starve", "eat", "penguin", "ban", "hibachi", "zoo" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-26", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert has lost weight, but Dogbert doesn't care.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "diet", "weight loss", "happy", "supportive", "encourage", "tapped out", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-27", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to use inaccurate budget numbers.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "accuracy", "backup", "back pocket", "emergency", "clueless", "encryption" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-28", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice complains to Asok he never answers his phone.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Asok", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "telephone", "call", "fist of death", "gnaw", "escape" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-29", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert starts an employee skills database.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "employee", "skills database", "first step", "laugh", "move jobs", "fuzzy" ] }, { "date": "1999-04-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "There's been some thefts from the cubicles. The suspect's description matches the Boss.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "rash", "theft", "suspect", "slow-witted", "meeting", "bulletin", "pointy hair" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert captures the thief on a hidden camera.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "hidden", "camera", "thief", "raid", "cubicle", "picture", "grainy", "cat" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-02", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss presents a project timeline but doesn't take into account unforeseen problems.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "project", "plan", "problem", "unforeseen", "motivation", "dysfunctional", "schedule", "mad", "random" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-03", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally discovers the Boss is away and sends e-mail from the his account.", "characters": [ "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "unattended", "e-mail", "unscrupulous", "nostril", "forge", "fake" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The vice-president's phone rings while Dilbert is in the middle of a presentation.", "characters": [ "vice president", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "presentation", "telephone", "ignore", "interrupt", "insult", "cell phone" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-05", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss describes his eating habits when he was young to Asok.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "breakfast", "lunch", "dinner", "fat", "break" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-06", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert's mother shops for a computer and is shown a reliable model.", "characters": [ "computer salesman", "Dilbert's Mom" ], "keywords": [ "reliable", "computer", "software", "freeze", "spoon", "crash" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-07", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "An engineer lies about his knowledge while having a heart attack.", "characters": [ "engineer", "Ted", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "chest pain", "heart", "antigravity belt", "CPR", "engineer", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-08", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Tina to write the Chinese version of the product instructions.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "Chinese", "instruction", "product", "scribble" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-09", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss makes a few improvements to Alice's design, even though he's not an engineer.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "design", "upgrade", "engineer", "liberal arts", "college", "graduate", "Moby Dick", "Charles Dickens", "circuit", "renaissance man" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Technical support calls have been reduced in volume by using annoying sounds, the Boss says.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "tech support", "support call", "on hold", "music", "balloon", "getaway car" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Asok finished his assignments early, so he tells the Boss.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "objectives", "salary", "assignment", "extra work" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Asok says he's not fulfilled by the assignments he's given.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "self-actualisation", "goal", "binder", "outdated", "unfulfilled", "project", "dump", "landfill" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-13", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Wally describes the best way to get unwanted binders to the dump.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "binder", "landfill", "dump", "send", "Fed Ex", "marketing", "expense report" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Redesigned processes will enable enterprise integration, the Boss says. Wally wants to know his part in the project.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "redesign", "enterprise", "integration", "knowledge", "suggestion", "question", "nothing" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-15", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Dilbert finishes his part of a well-engineered project.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "marketing idiot" ], "keywords": [ "project", "complete", "well-engineered", "squadron", "idiot", "ear", "coaster", "nap" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-16", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Wally tries to escape a boring meeting by faking his own death.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "boredom", "escape", "fake", "death", "coffee", "poison", "stiff", "pose", "proactive" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-17", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss gets a new pager.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "alpha-numeric", "pager", "clip", "ear", "belt", "hell" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-18", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss doubts his new pager is supposed to be clipped on to his ear.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "pager", "clip", "vibrate", "beep", "telephone", "call", "double check" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-19", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "Asok remembers ritual abuse but it was actually his annual performance review.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "memory", "recover", "ritual", "abuse", "fade", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-20", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date doesn't want him to walk her all the way home.", "characters": [ "Dilbert's date", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "walk", "home", "tracking device", "alley", "hide" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-21", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert discovers where his date lives, so he spies on her.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "tracking device", "satellite", "spy", "radio", "bedroom", "stalk", "technology" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-22", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice to stay all night to finish a project.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "project", "all night", "random act of management", "victim", "arm-pumping", "vital", "mirror" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-23", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to ask a quick question to a female co-worker.", "characters": [ "co-worker", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "question", "innocent", "knowledge", "intelligence", "appearance", "BMW", "engineer", "physical", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-24", "subject": "Family", "saga": "Dilbert dresses in a bathrobe at work.", "synopsis": "Dogbert dares Dilbert to go to work dressed in a bathrobe.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "bet", "bluff", "bathrobe", "coffee", "debate", "definition", "breakfast" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss sees Dilbert dressed in a bathrobe at work and gives him a raise.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "bathrobe", "market power", "raise", "quit", "terrycloth", "engineer", "rebel" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-26", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A co-worker thinks Dilbert is a rebel because of the bathrobe.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "bathrobe", "rebel", "cool", "talk", "yellow", "flavour", "skull" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-27", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert is introduced to the other office rebels who are easily manipulated.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "office rebel" ], "keywords": [ "bathrobe", "rebel", "manipulate", "stupid", "dare", "branding iron" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-28", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to collect from the bet. Dogbert wants to go double or nothing.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "bet", "million dollars", "double or nothing", "exact words" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss reorganises the office, but it's an old organisation.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "reorganisation", "announcement", "employee of the week", "organisation chart" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice to negotiate changes to a signed contract.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "contract", "change", "discount", "clueless", "vendor", "acts of God", "poltergeist", "steal" ] }, { "date": "1999-05-31", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Ted's story goes on and on so Alice silences him.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Ted", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "fist of death", "story", "two-warning system", "throat" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "It's not OK for a woman to act assertive like men can, the Boss tells Alice.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "assertive", "gender", "boxer", "b word", "bitch" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-02", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Alice killed another co-worker but did not discriminate, sexually harass or take drugs.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "employee manual", "kill", "co-worker", "discriminate", "sexually harass", "drug", "award", "cost savings", "idea" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-03", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Asok has taken too much training, Catbert says.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "training", "class", "skill", "secret untraining method", "hammer", "head", "mallet", "blindfold" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-04", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "The Boss sprays himself with Teflon spray.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "spray", "ignore", "Teflon", "trademark", "pot", "head", "shake well" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert's opinion doesn't stick on the Boss.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "opinion", "stick", "Teflon", "damp sponge", "wipe" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants Dilbert to e-mail him two copies.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "copy", "fax", "hard copy", "Internet", "surf", "motivation", "consciousness", "lazy" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-07", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Alice can't stop to talk to Wally because she's rushing to meet a deadline.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "rush", "talk", "deadline", "planning", "suffer", "coffee", "nickname", "java-wava", "bean brew" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-08", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Wally hangs around Alice's cubicle and gets credit on her project.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "teamwork", "disturb", "reputation" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-09", "subject": "Law", "saga": "Dilbert testifies in a corporate lawsuit.", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to testify in a lawsuit. He should tell the truth but not speak plainly.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "lawsuit", "testify", "truth", "understand", "whistle blower", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-10", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "A corporate lawyer prepares Dilbert for his testimony.", "characters": [ "corporate lawyer", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "court", "testimony", "coach", "liar", "attorney", "handsome", "hit", "suspenders", "injury" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-11", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "In court, a lawyer asks Dilbert to explain a cryptic memo.", "characters": [ "corporate lawyer", "Dilbert", "judge" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "testify", "court", "integration", "memo", "communication", "perjury", "leverage" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-12", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dilbert describes the alleged crimes of his employer to the jury. They don't understand the technical terms.", "characters": [ "corporate lawyer", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "court", "whistle blower", "corrupt", "competition", "jury", "crime", "applet", "cookie", "portal", "hungry", "selection" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss doesn't like Dilbert's idea, but doesn't explain why.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "idea", "naive", "condescending", "pat on the head", "empty handed", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-14", "subject": "Personnel", "saga": "Alice sends her resume to a headhunter and the Boss receives it.", "synopsis": "Alice e-mails her resume to a headhunter using company resources.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "perfect crime", "company resources", "resume", "e-mail", "headhunter" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-15", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to evaluate the skills of a person whose resume arrived from a headhunter.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "resume", "headhunter", "evaluation", "interview", "qualified", "loyalty", "engineer", "skill" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-16", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Alice goes to an interview with the Boss in disguise.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "interview", "job", "fashion", "tool", "disguise", "lunch", "hat", "sunglasses" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-17", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "The Boss offers a disguised Alice a higher-paying job.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "job offer", "interview", "parking space", "hire", "hat", "authority" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-18", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert uses fake babies to flirt with a cashier.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "cashier" ], "keywords": [ "name tag", "fake baby", "flirt", "cash register" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-19", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert uses fake rubber babies to become a chick magnet.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "fake baby", "rubber", "chick magnet", "fly", "tree", "swat", "tough love" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-20", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "A new engineer is hired for Dilbert's project, but Catbert has varied reasons for choosing the new engineer.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "hire", "project", "cheap", "raise", "fuzzy", "cute", "budget", "laugh", "static electricity", "zap", "meeting", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-21", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss helps Dilbert design a circuit.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "project", "ram cache", "engineer", "timeline", "circuit design", "design" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-22", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Asok in quality assurance.", "synopsis": "Asok is moved to the quality assurance group.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "quality assurance", "transfer", "headcount", "problem", "contribution" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-23", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok complains to Wally about his transfer to quality assurance and vows to be back.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Wally", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "transfer", "quality assurance", "wiener dog", "web site" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-24", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok wants to make sure the engineering group doesn't forget him.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "transfer", "quality assurance", "forget", "break time", "fire hose", "career", "window" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-25", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Asok escapes quality assurance by taking a job as a secretary's assistant.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Asok", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "quality assurance", "escape", "transfer", "secretary's assistant", "intern", "yell", "curse" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-26", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert \"face-reads\" Wally to determine his potential.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "evaluation", "science", "face-reading", "potential", "thoroughbred horse", "jockey", "saddle", "flashlight" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-27", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Wally complains about a problem but says it's not his job to fix them.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice", "Asok", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "problem", "can't do everything", "angry", "identify problem", "ambiguity", "forever" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-28", "subject": "Corporate Services", "saga": "cube farming", "synopsis": "A cube farmer removes a weed from Dilbert's cubicle.", "characters": [ "cube farmer", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "cube farming", "weed", "light", "cubicle", "nourish", "choke", "hoe" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-29", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "A cube farmer moves a tall guy from a cubicle to an office.", "characters": [ "cube farmer", "Wally", "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "cube farming", "container", "door", "cubicle", "office", "tall", "reason", "hoe" ] }, { "date": "1999-06-30", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "A cube farmer gives Dilbert a doughnut.", "characters": [ "cube farmer", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cube farming", "crop", "fatten", "doughnut", "salt", "pretzel stick", "pitchfork" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-01", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "A cube farmer weeds out undesirable crops.", "characters": [ "cube farmer", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "cube farming", "yield", "reproduce", "put down", "pitchfork" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-02", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss turns Alice circuit board into a doorstop with static electricity.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "trick", "spark", "circuit board", "doorstop", "finger", "shuffle", "carpet", "static electricity", "ESD" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-03", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dogbert, in tech support, explains the pros and cons of upgrading software.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "software", "upgrade", "corrupt", "backup", "bit-slap", "data loss", "telephone headset", "delete" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says he might lose his job if the project isn't finished on time.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "project", "deadline", "lose job", "confusion", "morale", "dizzy", "loyalty" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss tries to dispel the rumour there are hidden cameras in the ceiling.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "hidden", "camera", "ceiling", "mister itchy", "privacy" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-06", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "An old man creates a strategic technology plan, but may not have all the bases covered.", "characters": [ "planner", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "strategic plan", "support", "photocopy", "image", "beard" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss's intuition tells him Dilbert's analysis is wrong.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "analysis", "intuition", "Internet", "modem", "misunderstood", "Satan" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-08", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "The Boss says he always removes crusts from sandwiches before he eats them.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "sandwich", "crust", "bread", "manager", "anti-crust", "anty-Christ" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-09", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Saint Dogbert performs an exorcism on the Boss.", "characters": [ "Saint Dogbert", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "exorcism", "your mother", "synergy", "coffee", "mug", "reorganisation", "bishop hat", "sceptre", "head spin", "possession" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to meet with a vendor while he meets with the vendor's executives.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "vendor", "executive", "complete waste of time", "performance review" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-11", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "The Boss wants a budget estimate and goes into \"boss hibernation\" until he hears a number.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "estimate", "boss hibernation", "911", "panic" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-12", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert writes a management book", "synopsis": "Dogbert writes a management book with obvious advice and quotes from famous dead people.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "management book", "advice", "quote", "Mahatma Gandhi", "dessert cart", "author", "obvious" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-13", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert applies for a loan to buy all the copies of his book.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "loan manager" ], "keywords": [ "loan", "application", "book", "bestseller", "collateral", "author" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-14", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "A Hollywood movie mogul wants to turn Dogbert's book into a movie.", "characters": [ "movie mogul", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "book", "movie deal", "normal", "Hollywood", "author", "restaurant" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-15", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "A kid asks Dogbert to autograph his book.", "characters": [ "Matthew", "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "book", "autograph", "back", "flat", "surface", "Rhode Island" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-16", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert looks into buying an island nation with his new wealth.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "buy", "island nation", "conquer", "kit", "oppress", "evil tyrant", "flag", "Rhode Island", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-17", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert learns what's involved in conquering a small island.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "how-to", "conquer", "island", "travel", "fur", "sit", "butt", "television", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-18", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert, the Feng Shui consultant, gets rid of evil spirits from the Boss's office.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "Feng Shui", "consultant", "evil spirit", "rubber band", "koi pond", "luck", "rear assault", "secretary", "snorkel", "fish" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-19", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Carol objects to providing free tissues to Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Carol", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "tissue", "low-paid", "free" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-20", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces a new thing: synergistic realignment.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "buzzword", "reorganisation", "synergistic realignment", "the wave", "emotion" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-21", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Tina sends a derogatory and condescending e-mail.", "characters": [ "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "derogatory", "condescending", "stomach ache", "flee", "flame" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-22", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Tina asks for help from Mordac the Preventer of information services.", "characters": [ "Mordac", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "insult", "server", "CIO", "closet", "gun", "shoot", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-23", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Catbert punishes Tina for shooting the CIO's credenza.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "CIO", "shoot", "gun", "credenza", "cardboard", "suspended sentence", "hat" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss explains their new products: software to warm a keyboard and software to make a laptop lighter.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "presentation", "software", "keyboard", "warm", "laptop", "bundle", "market driven", "help", "diversion" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The theme of the annual employee meeting is \"The Hindenburg,\" chosen by Alice.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "annual employee meeting", "Hindenburg", "balloon", "theme", "event", "detonate", "costume", "dirigible", "microphone", "film clip", "humanity", "remote control" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains about his project with no funding because it's not in the strategic plan.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "project", "fund", "strategic plan", "PowerPoint", "reorganisation", "pray" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-27", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "The Boss disciplines Wally for slipping performance.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Asok", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "severe", "disciplinary action", "monster", "eat", "lunch", "punishment" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-28", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Juan Delegator gives Dilbert an assignment.", "characters": [ "Juan Delegator", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "delegation", "assignment", "teamwork", "favour", "haircut", "moustache", "scissors" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-29", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Juan Delegator gives the Boss some decisions to make.", "characters": [ "Juan Delegator", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "delegation", "decision", "assignment", "learn a lesson", "moustache" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says overtime is required, but no longer mandatory.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "overtime", "mandatory", "require", "happy", "meeting" ] }, { "date": "1999-07-31", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Asok complain to the Boss about impossible deadlines.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "product", "design", "leadership", "stock", "birthday" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-01", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "No more coffee in the cubicles, the CEO says according to the Boss.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "ban", "coffee", "cubicle", "distraction", "turn", "expense", "pride" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-02", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss has a new PDA to keep track of appointments.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "PDA", "meeting", "voice control", "appointment", "schedule" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-03", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "A support line caller waits for an hour to talk to Dogbert.", "characters": [ "support caller", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "support line", "queue", "loser", "superior", "religious debate", "telephone headset" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-04", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dogbert has no time to waste when handling support calls.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "support caller" ], "keywords": [ "support line", "reboot", "call time", "average", "shut up", "telephone headset", "improvement" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-05", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Bob prefers an old manual typewriter to computers.", "characters": [ "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "computer", "typewriter", "friend", "evolve", "bird", "mistake" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-06", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Alice complains to a doctor about sickness and her out-of-control emotions.", "characters": [ "Alice", "doctor" ], "keywords": [ "sick", "morning", "emotion", "Mahjobis Crappus", "Mahjobis Stinkus", "Mahjobbis Crappus", "stethoscope", "clipboard", "cry", "punch" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-07", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "The doctor tells Alice about a cure for her job-related sickness.", "characters": [ "Alice", "doctor" ], "keywords": [ "job", "sick", "cure", "brochure", "assisted suicide", "stethoscope" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-08", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "A vendor salesman agrees to a deal, then tries to get Dilbert to sign a totally different contract.", "characters": [ "vendor", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "negotiate", "contract", "deliver", "surprise", "condition", "last minute", "briefcase", "complain", "equipment", "bait and switch" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-09", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Wally receives a large requirements document and tries to keep from reading it.", "characters": [ "Wally", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "requirements document", "weight", "multi-user", "global", "guess" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-10", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The engineers decide who must read a huge requirements document.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "requirements document", "destroy", "freak accident", "Thomas Edison", "oily rag", "arson" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-11", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Wally report the large requirements document was accidentally destroyed.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "requirements document", "destroy", "accident", "marketing", "queen bee", "shredded clothing", "scorch" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-12", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Dilbert sets out to capture the Queen Bee of Marketing.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Queen Bee of Marketing", "marketeer" ], "keywords": [ "expedition", "capture", "rope", "knapsack", "marketing buzz", "loyal" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-13", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Dilbert meets the Queen Bee of Marketing and gives her enough rope to hang herself.", "characters": [ "Queen Bee of Marketing", "marketeer", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "buzz", "rope", "free", "hang", "neck", "engineer", "suicide" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss complains employees use too much electricity.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "dark", "electricity", "hog", "office", "double click" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss sends Carol to fetch Dilbert, since only face-to-face seems to work.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "communication", "e-mail", "telephone", "pager", "productivity", "ground troops", "magazine", "conversation", "knapsack", "backpack", "walking stick", "expedition" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-16", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Hammerhead Bob invites himself to lunch with Alice and Tina where he dominates the conversation.", "characters": [ "Hammerhead Bob", "Alice", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "lunch", "uninvited", "clean room", "loud", "trench coat", "unconscious" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-17", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Hammerhead Bob jumps in to nearby conversations.", "characters": [ "Hammerhead Bob", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "spring loaded", "butt", "conversation", "authority", "jump in", "discussion" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss congratulates Dilbert for his ten billion dollar invention, and tells him not to have decorations above the walls of his cubicle.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "invention", "revenue", "policy", "decoration", "cubicle", "gizmo", "important" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-19", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The customer appreciation theme is \"Thank Goodness there are so Many Idiots.\"", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert", "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "appoint", "customer appreciation", "celebrate", "theme", "idiot", "joke", "poster", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-20", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert points out nasty clauses in an employment agreement.", "characters": [ "employee", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "quit", "job", "employment agreement", "industry", "ban", "contract", "dance", "goatee" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-21", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "Catbert says all computer wallpaper must be the same to eliminate individuality.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "individuality", "wallpaper", "computer", "helium", "voice" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-22", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Alice gets stressed out about meeting impossible deadlines, while Wally's advice is to remain calm.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "project", "stress", "role model", "deadline", "calm", "pride", "ambition", "glory", "VP", "student", "master", "pressure" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-23", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Big stubborn dumb guy", "synopsis": "The Boss assigns Dilbert to a team of good people plus one stubborn big dumb guy.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Dan", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "team", "v-neck sweater", "dumb", "stubborn", "intelligent", "motivation" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-24", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert welcomes the team and explains Dan's role as a stubborn guy to prevent success.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dan" ], "keywords": [ "team", "talent", "professional", "stubborn", "fail", "vision statement", "success" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-25", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dan, the stubborn guy, recommends removing contract employees from the e-mail bulletin list.", "characters": [ "Dan", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "team", "contract employee", "e-mail", "bulletin", "information", "incremental cost", "agreement", "fight" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-26", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dan, the big stubborn dumb guy, introduces the little stubborn dumb guy.", "characters": [ "Dan", "Little Stubborn Dumb Guy" ], "keywords": [ "stubborn", "thwart", "argue" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss explains how to save money by cutting used paper into little squares.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "note pad", "money", "paper", "time" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-28", "subject": "Presentation", "synopsis": "Dilbert's presentation is taken over by a co-worker.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ted", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "slide", "overhead", "hijack", "hostile takeover", "laser pointer", "data", "diagram", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice has the Boss pinned down to admit he's wrong. Finally!", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally", "Asok", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "bullet point", "wrong", "admit" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-30", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert says the company likes to promote within the company.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "promote", "yank your chain", "smart", "timid" ] }, { "date": "1999-08-31", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert made a list of Dilbert's common mental errors.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "checklist", "time saver", "mental", "error", "hell", "category", "clipboard", "hot" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-01", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The Boss is about to attend a meeting about Dilbert's project. Dilbert is not invited.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "dumb", "leader", "unhappy", "exclude", "learn" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-02", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss shows off the new mugs with the motto, \"I made a difference.\"", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "mug", "incentive", "motto", "cash equivalent", "difference", "empower" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-03", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Mordac will not upgrade equipment, though he will replace damaged items.", "characters": [ "Mordac", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "policy", "upgrade", "replace", "memory", "laptop computer", "toss", "window", "damage", "suspenders", "rethink" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-04", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "Catbert asks that people cling to the outside of planes to reduce air travel expenses.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "airplane", "sprint", "cling", "weed out", "dumb", "human resources", "takeoff", "travel expenses" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss makes changes to Dilbert's idea before circulating it.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "idea", "visionary", "credit", "strength", "dead", "discredit", "unimaginative", "retread", "energising force" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-06", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to move the budget system to the mainframe, an obsolete technology.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "budget", "mainframe", "under-utilised", "obsolete", "standoff", "reality versus management", "victor" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-07", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert says the project failed and the reasons matched his predictions.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "wrap-up", "failure", "slide", "presentation", "reverse amnesia for managers", "success", "blame", "projector", "chart" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-08", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows the Boss the numbers behind the new strategic plan.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "strategic plan", "cognitive dissonance", "bad with numbers", "irrational", "noise", "spoink" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-09", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "Dilbert has to bend reality to make the numbers work for the Boss's strategic plan.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "strategic plan", "numbers", "support", "square root", "negative number", "mobius strip", "timeline" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-10", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Dilbert sits in a vacant cubicle in Marketing so the place looks full for a tour.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "prospective client" ], "keywords": [ "tour", "vacant", "cubicle", "pretend" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-11", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol why all the words in the word processing document have squiggles under them.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "word processor", "words", "squiggle", "grammar", "F1", "help", "third grade", "enrolment form" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-12", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A co-worker describes how he is to be relocated to an undisclosed location.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "relocate", "box", "laminate", "company ID", "pay", "constructive criticism", "condescending", "tone", "office supplies", "paycheque", "company ID" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-13", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert cuts the project budget to the bone, but the Boss wants him to go with half that amount.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "bare minimum", "budget", "fail", "half", "start" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-14", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains to his mother about being on a doomed project.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's Mom" ], "keywords": [ "budget", "doom", "fail", "humiliation", "unconditional love" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-15", "subject": "Family", "saga": "Dilbert spots damage in his mother's house", "synopsis": "Dilbert spots some water damage on his mother's ceiling.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's Mom" ], "keywords": [ "water damage", "ceiling", "roof", "collapse", "emergency plan", "leap out a window" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-16", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to remove the sheetrock from a wall in his mother's house to find out why it's warm.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's Mom" ], "keywords": [ "wall", "warm", "sheetrock", "inspection", "defect", "smell", "propane" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-17", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert's Mom pushes him out the door, and he still finds more things in need of repair.", "characters": [ "Dilbert's Mom", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "sidewalk", "leave", "crack", "drainage trench", "sump pump", "powder keg", "yelp" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss cancelled the software upgrade project, the opposite of what Dilbert recommended.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "recommend", "cancel", "software", "project", "upgrade", "opposite", "thinner", "sit-up", "weight loss" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-19", "subject": "Presentation", "synopsis": "Dilbert gives a presentation, filling in for the Boss.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "fill-in", "irrelevant comparison", "budget", "project", "product development time", "average", "blindingly obvious insight", "computer", "fast", "projector", "chart" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-20", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "Asok is summoned to the Boss's office", "synopsis": "Carol tells Asok the Boss wants to see him.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "office", "summon", "carpet", "thank", "hard work", "measure", "torso", "knit", "sweater" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-21", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok wonders why the Boss wants to see him. Could it be an award for hard work?", "characters": [ "Asok", "Carol", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "summon", "carpet", "office", "award", "intern", "air duct", "bug" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-22", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Asok arrives in the Boss's office wondering why he's been summoned.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "summon", "carpet", "office", "crawl", "air duct", "outdoor", "building" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-23", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Asok thinks his life is one big joke.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "joke", "telephone", "actual life", "good part", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-24", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Wally tells the Boss the wavy pattern on the carpet is making him dizzy.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "pattern", "carpet", "dizzy", "sleep", "sick", "groggy" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-25", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Wally takes sick days for unusual reasons, Catbert says.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "sick day", "unusual reason", "fly", "shampoo", "lather", "rinse", "hair", "excuse" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-26", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Dogbert presents a report that recommends big changes, knowing they're too big to be fully implemented.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert the Consultant", "report", "change", "coward", "implement", "fault", "ignore", "imbecile", "hurry", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-27", "subject": "Safety", "synopsis": "The Safety Department says the drinking water is safe, the Boss says.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "drink", "water", "test", "bottled water" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-28", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A health nut tries to get Dilbert to join in some organised physical activity.", "characters": [ "health nut", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "run", "fifty-mile", "triathlon", "entry form", "leap", "geosynchronous", "orbit" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-29", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss announces new laptops will be obsolete machines made by Osborne.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "laptop", "computer", "Osborne", "floppy drive", "Internet time", "obsolete" ] }, { "date": "1999-09-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss sits on Dilbert's idea for too long, and other companies have filled in the gap.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Internet", "business", "idea", "IPO", "buy", "stock", "share" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks why he must follow the same process that failed thirty times in a row.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "understand", "process", "fail", "optimism", "succeed" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-02", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "At a party, a woman asks Dilbert what he does for a living.", "characters": [ "woman", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "living", "slave", "command", "insane", "baboon", "catch", "party", "box" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-03", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Mordac the Preventer of information services sentences Dilbert to a week without e-mail for exceeding his disk quota.", "characters": [ "Mordac", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "disk space", "server", "allocation", "e-mail", "engineer", "search", "up against the wall", "modem", "suspenders", "sentence", "punishment", "wireless" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-04", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Wally is to be replaced by a low-paid embryo.", "synopsis": "Wally is to be replaced by an embryo.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "technology", "young man's game", "replace", "low-paid", "embryo", "teach" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-05", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice sees the embryo that will replace Wally.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "embryo", "replace", "coffee", "cute", "healthy", "quart" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-06", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally complains he gets paid less than the embryo.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "embryo", "pay", "fertilise", "obstruct", "progress", "cute", "take sides" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-07", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally ruins the embryo's career by volunteering him to give constructive criticism to Human Resources.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "embryo", "career", "volunteer", "constructive criticism", "human resources", "attitude" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss finds out what customers are saying. Dilbert says they're saying nothing.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "leader", "customer", "listen", "feedback", "defective" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-09", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to listen to his employees no matter how much he laughs on the inside.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "leader", "listen", "employee", "laugh", "forced smile" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice can hand out paperweights as a reward for positive attitudes, the Boss says.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "positive attitude", "paperweight", "reward", "award", "whistle", "throw", "pain", "hit on the head", "injury" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss complains Dilbert's project is late and over budget.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "project", "budget", "late", "bungle", "allocation", "resource", "hate", "word" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss invites Wally to join the \"After-5 Club,\" to think of creative ideas after work.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "invitation", "After-5 Club", "select group", "creative idea", "business hours", "think" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-13", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Tina gets tired of writing the same old stories for the newsletter so she invents new bizarre crimes to write about.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "newsletter", "story", "invent", "bizarre", "workplace", "crime", "media", "copycat criminal", "kick-start" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-14", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally reads about bizarre crimes in the company newsletter and has the urge to copycat.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "newsletter", "bizarre", "workplace", "crime", "copycat", "lazy", "parent", "wise" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The compensation of both the Boss and Catbert depends on quantity, not quality, of the employees.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Alice", "Dilbert", "moron" ], "keywords": [ "compensation", "career", "quantity", "conspiracy", "horde", "incompetent", "personnel" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to hire more people to get a better title, so he eliminates the training budget.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "budget", "training", "hire", "direct report", "vice president", "title", "strategy" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-17", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dumb boss jokes are the rage until the Boss demonstrates they can be true.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "dumb boss", "story", "postage stamp", "e-mail", "warm", "fire wall", "apologise", "tape measure", "distance learning" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants the engineers to write the names of the good employees and put them in a hat.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "employee", "good", "names in a hat", "valuable reward", "comfort" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-19", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "The Boss was asked to reduce his budget so he offered a critical project knowing they couldn't accept.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "reduce", "department", "vital", "offer", "funny", "irony" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-20", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "The Boss shows off his new hobby, photography.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "hobby", "photography", "camera", "picture", "flashbulb", "self portrait" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-21", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Wally says he wants to find a job where he has no impact on anything.", "characters": [ "Wally", "doctor", "Asok", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "long-term plan", "impact", "inspire", "swallow", "hospital", "stethoscope", "plunder" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-22", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss offers a golf day for doing a great job.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "motivation", "golf", "pay cut" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-23", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Wally complains he is feeling pressure to work.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "pressure", "work", "job", "QED" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-24", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert recommends an ad campaign to keep people indoors, because that's where people use the company's products.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "ad agency", "research", "outdoor", "indoor", "ad campaign", "outdoors is for losers", "hummingbird", "garden", "attack", "happy", "gullible", "advertising" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-25", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Tina is downsized.", "synopsis": "The Boss announces the company will be merging with another company. No engineers will be downsized.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Tina", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "destroy", "healthy", "merger", "downsize", "meeting", "tech writer" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Tina complains to the Boss about being downsized.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "downsize", "merger", "prick", "bleed", "experiment", "needle", "tech writer", "engineer", "bandage" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-27", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Tina asks Alice to teach her to be an engineer -- even if it takes all day.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "job security", "career", "secret", "scam", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-28", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Alice says it takes too long to learn to be an engineer.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "training", "engineer", "skill", "unskilled labour", "year", "Boss" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-29", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Tina enrols in Dogbert's accelerated management course.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert's Accelerated Management Course", "enrol", "chequebook", "final exam", "question", "date" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss can't give Alice a raise because she came to work on a vacation day.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "raise", "vacation", "permission", "empower", "change" ] }, { "date": "1999-10-31", "subject": "Strategy", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to merge the strategies from silo teams to form a coherent company plan.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "strategy", "silo", "team", "merge", "coherent", "company plan", "loser", "mutually exclusive" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-01", "subject": "Project", "saga": "Dilbert forms a call centre.", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to form a call centre to handle customer questions.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "call centre", "customer", "cost", "working condition", "inhumane", "conscience", "innocent", "harm" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-02", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Dogbert about his new project to form a call centre.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "call centre", "working condition", "employee", "guilty", "order", "deserve", "demonise", "bathrobe", "breakfast" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-03", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets advice from Catbert and the Boss about creating the call centre.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "call centre", "design", "shift", "bathroom break", "cubicle", "incompatible objectives", "monitor", "speed", "customer service", "abuser requirements", "rest break" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-04", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert says call centre employees with the designed volume of calls will wish they were dead.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "call centre", "volume", "dead", "beaten-down", "inhumane", "punish", "cheerful" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-05", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The Boss interviews Ratbert for a position in the new call centre.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "call centre", "challenge", "hire", "working condition", "inhumane", "restroom break", "bathroom break" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-06", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows Ratbert to the new call centre. Ratbert sees people hanging upside down.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "call centre", "room", "shoe", "hang", "wall", "floor", "hole", "upside down" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-07", "subject": "Safety", "synopsis": "Wally, the new fire warden for the floor, introduces the new fire rules.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "fire warden", "assignment", "bitter", "panic", "flush", "door", "window", "exit", "between" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Judy gets the attendance award for missing the most days.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Judy", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "attendance award", "presentation", "clap", "morale", "cough", "certificate" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-09", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Wally wants his bonus to be based on the performance of another company.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "bonus", "performance", "company", "question", "team player" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss shows he cares about the employees by asking about Asok's kids.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "turnover", "meeting", "care", "kid", "exercise" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks about Alice's health without wanting too many details.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "care", "morale", "illegal", "health", "least-specific" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss pretends to like Dilbert by sitting with him at lunch.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "pretend", "like", "productivity", "forced smile", "cubicle" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss pretends Wally is an equal by moving his chair to the other side of the desk.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "pretend", "like", "equal", "desk", "chair", "mind" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-14", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "A clerk in a shoe store has difficulty recommending a good shoe.", "characters": [ "shoe salesman", "Dilbert", "manager" ], "keywords": [ "shoe", "run", "sneaker", "club", "baby seal", "socks", "compatibility" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-15", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Alice is omitted from the org chart and is in org-limbo.", "synopsis": "Alice's name was accidentally omitted from an org chart so she goes into org-limbo.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "org chart", "paperwork", "omit", "org-limbo", "scare", "ghost", "phantom" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice wanders the hall in org-limbo where normal people can't see or hear her.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "org chart", "org-limbo", "see", "hear", "unassigned", "unfinished business", "ghost", "spirit", "swami hat" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-17", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert can contact employees who are in org limbo.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "seer", "org-limbo", "seance", "call", "revised org chart", "scare", "swami hat", "diagram" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-18", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The company will not buy PDAs for employees, though it will pay for all business trips.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "PDA", "business trip", "value", "Palm Pilot", "California", "travel" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-19", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert's mom watches Dilbert through his web cam, and complains about the lack of work.", "characters": [ "Dilbert's Mom", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "telephone", "webcam", "fire wall", "mail server", "spam", "mah-jongg", "club", "laptop computer" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-20", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss announces a hacker stole the corporate strategy.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "hacker", "cracker", "break in", "corporate strategy", "Internet", "objectives", "e-mail" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-21", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Young Dilbert asks for permission to skateboard at a construction site. A logic argument ensues.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's Mom" ], "keywords": [ "skateboard", "construction site", "cliff", "training", "equipment", "safety", "credibility" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-22", "subject": "Management", "saga": "The turnaround CEO", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces the new CEO, a demon.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "CEO demon", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "reputation", "turnaround", "expert", "business process", "TQM", "value-based management" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-23", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Asok asks the new turnaround CEO what it takes to turn around a company.", "characters": [ "Asok", "CEO demon" ], "keywords": [ "turnaround", "what does it take", "notice", "headless", "decapitate" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The training department admits failure to the new turnaround CEO.", "characters": [ "Ted", "CEO demon", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "value-based management", "perspective", "training", "capital", "begging", "presentation", "turnaround", "kill" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert pleads for his job with the turnaround CEO.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "CEO demon" ], "keywords": [ "turnaround", "strategic planning group", "traitorous mole" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert gives advice on who to fire without affecting revenue.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "CEO demon" ], "keywords": [ "turnaround", "downsize", "revenue", "outsource", "smart", "employee", "rude", "mole", "traitor" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The turnaround CEO tells Dilbert he's finished and is off to another job.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "CEO demon" ], "keywords": [ "turnaround", "complete", "depart", "meat packing house", "overhead", "sign", "slaughter" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-28", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert announces the new levels of employee performance: at least he or she doesn't drool on himself or herself, loser, and die! die! die!", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "human resources", "employee", "job satisfaction", "performance", "view", "exceed expectations", "drool", "loser", "die", "e-mail" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-29", "subject": "ISO 9000", "synopsis": "The Boss says they will strive to be QS-9000 in addition to ISO 9000.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "QS-9000", "document", "compliant", "spell", "APQP", "QSR", "FMEA", "MSA", "SPC", "PPAP", "QSA", "lie", "falsify" ] }, { "date": "1999-11-30", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Carol brings her kids to work because the day care is closed.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "day care", "close", "kids", "yell", "bite", "Tess", "Smokey", "townspeople" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-01", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Wally shows up for work instead of telecommuting.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "telecommute", "sick", "rest", "office", "pamper", "pyjamas", "work clothes" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-02", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "The Boss turns down a training request from Alice because he needs her in the office.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "class", "skill", "obsolete", "walk", "coffee cup" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-03", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss wants the web site to be more webbish, but not too webbish.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "web site", "vague", "webbish", "estimate", "schedule", "requirement" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-04", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally practises astral projection.", "characters": [ "Wally", "co-worker", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "book", "astral projection", "meeting", "trance", "concentrate", "fear" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss rewards Carol the secretary for getting her MBA by allowing her to get herself a coffee.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "MBA", "secretary", "reward", "coffee", "promote", "pompous baboon", "stigma" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says he speaks English but thinks in French.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "English", "French", "training", "think", "speak", "croissant" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-07", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The old web designer quits and a new one starts.", "characters": [ "co-worker", "Ming", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "web", "design", "idiot", "quit", "pay", "salary", "Ethernet", "laptop computer", "webmistress" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-08", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss specifies what he wants on the new web site.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ming" ], "keywords": [ "web", "design", "requirement", "skeleton", "dance", "dinosaur", "picture", "disk", "webmistress" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-09", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Webmistress Ming describes the sponsor arrangements for linking with sponsors.", "characters": [ "Ming", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "web", "design", "sponsor", "link", "eyeball", "site", "owe", "net", "webmistress" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-10", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Webmistress Ming gets reports of broken links on the web site.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Ming", "Asok", "psychologist" ], "keywords": [ "web", "design", "link", "broken", "perverse", "pleasure", "report", "graphics", "slow", "goatee", "webmistress" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-11", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss thinks the Internet might catch on, and says so.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ming" ], "keywords": [ "web", "design", "Internet", "paradigm", "beat", "rush", "catch on", "webmistress" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss hires Sophie, the best engineer in the business, plus her husband who goes along with the deal.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Sophie", "Sophie's husband" ], "keywords": [ "employee", "engineer", "incompetent", "husband", "wife", "relocation", "talent", "hire", "squirrel" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-13", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Carol schedules the pre-meeting for after the meeting.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "pre-meeting", "schedule", "time", "care", "pre-care" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Catbert and the Boss enjoy a laugh. Dilbert thinks they're discussing his performance evaluation.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "condescend", "wrong", "laugh", "performance evaluation" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-15", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Ted that Ted's project got cancelled.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "cancel", "love", "renounce", "religion", "pain", "ouch" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-16", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dilbert's blood pressure is below the company average and the Boss isn't happy about that.", "characters": [ "nurse", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "blood pressure", "clinic", "below average", "more work", "screening" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss praises the employees in his own way: they have the best employees in the world.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "encourage", "praise", "best", "employee", "pay", "morale", "checklist", "meeting" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss talks to Alice about her tendency to abuse co-workers.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "counsel", "temper", "abuse", "co-worker", "theory", "personality", "DNA", "tingle" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-19", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The employees come to the Boss with requests but he turns them down and puts himself in their place.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "request", "laptop computer", "technical seminar", "Hawaii", "time off", "caterpillar", "pattern", "order", "day off" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-20", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Asok to observe the vice president from a duck blind.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "vice president" ], "keywords": [ "observe", "priority", "duck blind", "office", "cubicle", "floss" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-21", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok observes the vice president try to disrupt the office activity.", "characters": [ "Asok", "vice president" ], "keywords": [ "duck blind", "document", "read", "lose", "decision", "subject", "tool", "clean", "ear", "pencil" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-22", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Wally to do nothing until they get market research data.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "work", "market research", "data", "mouse", "idle", "happy", "footsteps" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-23", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert sets up a web site for medical advice and makes billions on the IPO.", "synopsis": "Dogbert sets up a web site to dispense free medical advice.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "web site", "medical advice", "free", "exercise", "IPO", "www.dogbertmd.com", "ear" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-24", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert's web site goes public and Dogbert makes billions.", "characters": [ "news reader", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "web site", "www.dogbertmd.com", "IPO", "billion", "profit", "neener neener", "loser", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-25", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains to Ratbert how he'll use his billions to buy companies that have real value.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "IPO", "triumph", "inflate", "stock", "company", "hype", "substance", "moral compass", "spin" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert admits to the Boss the product can be developed on time and under budget as long as a few features are dropped.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "sarcasm", "on time", "budget", "project", "product", "wide area network", "shoebox", "yarn", "open door policy", "threat", "protocol", "diagnostic" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-27", "subject": "Presentation", "synopsis": "The company's strategy is to follow trends, Ted says.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "strategy", "trend", "react", "slide", "presentation" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-28", "subject": "Training", "saga": "The Boss attends a one-hour executive MBA program.", "synopsis": "The Boss describes a new executive MBA program that he signed up for -- one hour long.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "MBA", "executive", "prestigious", "university", "late", "meeting" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-29", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Dogbert presents a case study in his one-hour executive MBA program.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "MBA", "executive", "money", "return", "case study" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-30", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Dogbert concludes the one-hour executive MBA program by handing out diplomas.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "MBA", "executive", "presentation", "whiteboard", "boring", "embezzle", "diploma", "laser printer", "degree", "prestigious" ] }, { "date": "1999-12-31", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss schedules a meeting for 6 AM and Dilbert guesses the Boss would arrive late.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "early", "meeting", "schedule", "traffic", "late", "sociopath", "sleep" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-01", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "The Boss hires the \"Bait and Switch\" consulting group because of a smart consultant.", "characters": [ "Boss", "consultant", "Eddie", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "Bait and Switch", "consulting group", "smart", "account", "idiot" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "A strategy from a CEO gets handed down the chain of command until it reaches Dilbert.", "characters": [ "CEO", "senior vice president", "vice president", "Assistant vice president", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "research", "strategy", "report", "reason", "mistake", "smother", "pillow", "sleep", "data", "support" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-03", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert with data-mining software", "synopsis": "Dogbert uncovers sales trends by data mining, and also sees messages from God.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "data mining", "hidden", "sales trends", "messages from God", "left-handed squirrels", "tie", "shirt", "fashion", "laptop computer" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-04", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert finds another message from God in his data-mining software.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "data mining", "software", "message from God", "steal", "lunch", "break room", "refrigerator", "pudding", "laptop computer" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-05", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "The Boss demonstrates the posture where the sales are highest, according to Dogbert's data mining.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "data mining", "software", "result", "shock", "sales", "facial expression", "hardhat", "miner's helmet" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-06", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert find another correlation in his data mining -- employees telecommute when the Boss is on vacation.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "data mining", "eureka", "correlation", "vacation", "telecommute", "expense voucher", "sick", "hardhat", "miner's helmet", "pickaxe", "laptop computer" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss consoles Asok for getting a bonus of only 5% of his annual salary.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "bonus", "annual", "salary", "five percent", "feel bad", "go wild" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss finds a good crop of belly button lint and leaves it on Dilbert's keyboard.", "characters": [ "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "belly button", "lint", "crop", "keyboard", "instinct" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-09", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Ted shows off his list of pros and cons about the current marketing strategy.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "strategy", "pros and cons", "list", "column", "unhealthy", "unprofitable", "waffle", "egg", "banana", "milk", "grocery list", "quantify", "insist" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "After completing his assignments, Asok asks the Boss for more to do.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "assignment", "complete", "service", "trashcan", "wrinkle", "paper" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-11", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Asok asks Catbert to help him see the relevance of his work.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "relevance", "well being", "society", "shuffle", "document", "air circulation", "e-mail" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-12", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "Carol plots to take over the Boss's job.", "synopsis": "Carol parks in the Boss's parking spot.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol", "masseur" ], "keywords": [ "park", "car", "reserved parking spot", "meeting", "coup", "office", "massage", "default", "secretary" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-13", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Carol gives Alice more assignments.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "task", "assignment", "magazine", "compliment", "listen" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss returns from his business trip to find someone has taken over his office.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "business trip", "meeting", "win", "office", "massage" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-15", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A lady with a big nose smells Alice's lunch.", "characters": [ "Alice", "big-nosed woman" ], "keywords": [ "lunch", "sandwich", "sniff", "lettuce" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-16", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Tina gets Asok to help with her PC.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "Ethernet card", "install", "tech support", "carry", "semicolon", "skill", "luck" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-17", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert is a CEO of a financial company.", "synopsis": "Dogbert becomes CEO of the company's new financial subsidiary.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "financial subsidiary", "goal", "victim", "cross-selling", "bayoneting the survivors" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-18", "subject": "Investment", "note": "The title strip for the book \"Excuse Me While I Wag\".", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains features of an investment to a guy wearing overalls.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "investor" ], "keywords": [ "annuity", "car", "lease", "feature", "hidden fee", "advice", "burglar", "wag", "overalls" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-19", "subject": "Investment", "synopsis": "Tina is impressed the fees on Dogbert's investment fund are higher than others.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "investment fund", "fee", "diversification", "sucker" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-20", "subject": "Investment", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains how he will handle the Boss's investment -- farm it out to others.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "investment fund", "fee", "certified", "financial planner", "money", "work" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-21", "subject": "Investment", "synopsis": "An investor questions why Dogbert charges a fee even if he does nothing.", "characters": [ "investor", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "fee", "investment fund", "training", "bill", "tonsils" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-22", "subject": "Investment", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains to Alice how he talks to a company's management before investing.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "stock", "management", "talk", "liar", "believe" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-23", "subject": "Benefits", "synopsis": "The company is switching to a cash balance pension plan, Catbert announces.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Asok", "older employee", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "pension plan", "cash balance", "competitive", "young", "old", "twig", "artificial hip", "zygote" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Myers-Briggs personality types will be the basis of teams, the Boss announces.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert", "Wally", "Asok", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "team", "Myers-Briggs", "personality", "human resources", "assignment", "quiet", "dumb", "extrovert", "think" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "According to the results of a Myers-Briggs test, the Boss is classified as a \"PHB,\" Catbert says.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "Myers-Briggs", "personality", "test", "PHB", "expletive", "classify" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-26", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Wally says he must forget old things to make room for learning new things.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Wally Report", "productivity", "threat", "brain", "learn", "information", "fifth grade", "forget" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss over-communicates in times of uncertainty, especially when firing Ed.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ed" ], "keywords": [ "downsizing", "communicate", "uncertainty", "over-communicate", "expert", "fired", "you're fired", "repeat" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-28", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains about an assignment he can't succeed with.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "assignment", "hope", "success", "laugh", "sandwich", "bite", "share" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-29", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert feels stressed and considers verbally abusing a co-worker.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ted", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "stress", "work", "verbal abuse", "co-worker", "worthless", "monkey spit" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-30", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows Dogbert his new anti spam software to filter e-mail.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "spam", "software", "filter", "keyword", "advertisement", "message", "Victoria's Secret", "model", "sailboat", "date", "pillow", "wear" ] }, { "date": "2000-01-31", "subject": "Professional", "saga": "Dilbert wonders why he shouldn't go to another company for more money.", "synopsis": "Dilbert says he has a job offer for twenty percent more and wants to know if the Boss will match it.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "job offer", "raise", "match", "hire", "loyalty", "management", "science", "mime wall" ] }, { "date": "2000-02-01", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Dogbert why he stays at this company when he could make more elsewhere.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "money", "salary", "coffee", "antics", "feeble", "loser", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "2000-02-02", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders whether he should stay at the company where the commute is easy or go to a start-up.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Bob", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "money", "salary", "commute", "fast-pace", "start-up", "company", "yak", "IPO" ] }, { "date": "2000-02-03", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "The Garbageman explains why Dilbert stays at his current job rather than switching.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Garbageman" ], "keywords": [ "investment", "stock", "unvested", "suffer", "brain", "loss", "opportunity", "stupid", "trashcan" ] }, { "date": "2000-02-04", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Phil comes to torment Dilbert while he wonders whether to quit or stay.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Phil" ], "keywords": [ "wait", "quit", "stock", "unvested", "heck", "limbo", "overflow", "pitchspoon" ] }, { "date": "2000-02-05", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Phil takes Dilbert to limbo in the career section.", "characters": [ "Phil", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "limbo", "heck", "career", "please wait to be seated", "service" ] }, { "date": "2000-02-06", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Dilbert says the product is defective and asks the Boss whether to delay shipment to ensure quality.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "test", "product", "defective", "customer", "delivery", "goal", "quality", "book revenue", "Swiss bank", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "2000-02-07", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to see a web site that's been blocked at the firewall.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "snail" ], "keywords": [ "web site", "block", "IS Group", "business case", "web productivity", "security", "shell", "casual day", "committee" ] }, { "date": "2000-02-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss is impressed Asok developed eight patentable ideas.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "patent", "develop", "idea", "bury", "literal", "free time" ] }, { "date": "2000-02-09", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says Dilbert needs some face time with the vice president.", "note": "An alternative strip with a different final panel was published on the website. The panel showed another employee kissing the vice president's ass.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "vice president", "secretary" ], "keywords": [ "office", "face time", "important", "raise", "ask", "butt kiss", "ass kiss", "brown nose" ] }, { "date": "2000-02-10", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't believe Ted will get information for him.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ted", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "information", "hunt", "busy", "hate", "advance", "time" ] }, { "date": "2000-02-11", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert sends Dilbert to \"Cynics Anonymous\" because he's becoming too aware of reality.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "aware", "reality", "cynics anonymous", "higher power", "naive", "optimism", "perfect employee", "fluorescent", "block" ] }, { "date": "2000-02-12", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows up for a \"Cynics Anonymous\" meeting where they spend his dues on beer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "chairman" ], "keywords": [ "cynics anonymous", "naive", "trust", "dues", "beer", "gambling cruise" ] }, { "date": "2000-02-13", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "The Boss doesn't want Marketing invited to the planning meeting because they'll hose the plan.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "planning", "meeting", "sabotage", "implementation", "hose", "botch", "doom", "kid", "reason", "plan" ] }, { "date": "2000-02-14", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "The Boss announces a policy of driving carefully while talking on a mobile phone.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "car", "cell phone", "drive", "tree", "poison", "snake" ] }, { "date": "2000-02-15", "subject": "Investment", "synopsis": "Dilbert worries when the CEO sells his stock.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "sell", "stock", "routine", "diversification", "portfolio" ] }, { "date": "2000-02-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains management is an organism that needs to survive and grow.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "organism", "survive", "grow", "fertiliser", "plant", "weasel" ] }, { "date": "2000-02-17", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "The Boss goes on a sales call but is told not to talk.", "characters": [ "sales rep", "Boss", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "customer", "talk", "discontinue", "product", "lull", "fill", "conversation" ] }, { "date": "2000-02-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert is forced to wait outside the Boss's office while the Boss is on the phone.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "office", "wait", "appointment", "telephone", "noise", "talk", "arm hair", "grow", "idle" ] }, { "date": "2000-02-19", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok creates a prison Morse code so he and Wally can communicate.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "prison", "Morse code", "communicate", "tap", "cubicle", "wall", "e-mail" ] }, { "date": "2000-02-20", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces because of unusually high profits this year, next year's targets will be impossible.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "division", "profit", "target", "sabotage", "customer", "spend", "leadership training", "class", "coffee mug", "follow", "wasteful" ] }, { "date": "2000-02-21", "subject": "Technology", "saga": "Paul Tergeist", "synopsis": "Dilbert meets his new lab partner, Paul Tergeist.", "characters": [ "Paul Tergeist", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "lab partner", "system failure", "technology", "error", "pen", "hover", "poltergeist" ] }, { "date": "2000-02-22", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Paul Tergeist says this technology will work; he's sure of it.", "characters": [ "Paul Tergeist", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "spirit", "possess", "computer", "fly", "head crash", "nickel", "ow", "poltergeist", "monitor", "injury" ] }, { "date": "2000-02-23", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss wants a demo of the new product, and Dilbert complains about his lab partner.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Paul Tergeist" ], "keywords": [ "spirit", "demo", "product", "CEO", "anger", "energy", "channel", "death", "soul" ] }, { "date": "2000-02-24", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert gives a demo of software that doesn't exist. Even the user interface doesn't exist.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "demo", "software", "user interface", "cool", "question", "complete", "laptop computer" ] }, { "date": "2000-02-25", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert plans to give out gullibility awards to famous people.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "famous person", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "award", "worthless", "famous", "celebrities", "award ceremony", "prestigious", "Dogbert Gullibility Award", "nomination", "honour" ] }, { "date": "2000-02-26", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert awards the Lifetime Gullibility Award to Bob Flabeau.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bob Flabeau" ], "keywords": [ "award", "Dogbert Gullibility Award", "lifetime award", "biography", "false memories", "herbal therapist", "stick", "gold" ] }, { "date": "2000-02-27", "subject": "Presentation", "synopsis": "Dilbert gives a presentation of meaningless diagrams and words.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ted", "co-worker", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "diagram", "shape", "word", "synchronise", "incremental", "digital", "integrate", "dynamic", "e-commerce", "space", "experiment", "result", "disturb", "line", "impressive" ] }, { "date": "2000-02-28", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally schedules his meetings around the Boss's vacation days.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "meet", "boss vacation day", "pretend", "binder", "walk" ] }, { "date": "2000-02-29", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert's Mom asks what he's been doing. Dilbert says it's nothing important.", "characters": [ "Dilbert's Mom", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "action item", "strategy", "cost", "GNP", "tuition", "money" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Ted has resigned and the Boss asks Asok to find Ted's hidden files.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "resign", "file", "hide", "clue", "disgruntle", "negatory", "porcelain" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-02", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok finds Ted's files and a skeleton in the closet.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "file", "hide", "skeleton", "closet", "babe", "home wrecker" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-03", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "It's against company policy to date a skeleton, Catbert tells Asok.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "policy", "skeleton", "closet", "friend", "swear", "chip tooth" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The company can't meet demand for their product, so instead they hope to drive away customers.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "product", "demand", "arrogant", "teach", "bah" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-05", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Dilbert will receive a new, company-approved, personality, Catbert says.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "personality", "non-standard", "approve", "sycophant", "glad hander", "sadist", "quantoid", "prima donna", "empty suit", "whining misfit", "spec sheet" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss shows a new employee to his cubicle but with no network connection for six weeks.", "characters": [ "Boss", "new employee" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "network", "connection", "six weeks", "status", "update", "IT department", "checkup" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Webmistress Ming says they don't pay enough to hire brilliant web people.", "characters": [ "Ming" ], "keywords": [ "pay", "brilliant", "web", "webiot savant", "stock options", "reject" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally says only ten percent of R and D projects succeed and others should be cancelled.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "research", "development", "project", "succeed", "fail", "statistics", "cancel", "crazy idea", "anger", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-09", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to change a one-page report into a two-page executive summary.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "report", "executive summary", "elastic band", "underwear", "idea" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss sends an e-mail describing the Employee Appreciation Luncheon -- potluck at his house.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "employee appreciation luncheon", "potluck", "dish", "groceries" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-11", "subject": "Presentation", "synopsis": "Alice quantifies the benefits of the new knowledge management systems.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "quantify", "knowledge management", "benefit", "intern", "head", "measure", "drag coefficient", "sandwich", "fetch" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-12", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice to not wear stirrup pants at the office.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "stirrup pants", "patent", "license fee", "budget request", "crisis", "bad pants" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-13", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Wally suggests changing the department name from Engineering to e-Engineering.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "staff meeting", "department", "name", "e-engineering", "marketing", "idea" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-14", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date is a basket case, and he tells her so.", "characters": [ "Dilbert's date", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "swell", "beach ball", "IRS", "jail", "summary", "basket case", "hate", "restaurant", "wine" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-15", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "A new psychologist will help the engineers handle stress, the Boss says.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "psychologist", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "stress", "quack", "pill", "goatee" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-16", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "The psychologist says stress is normal when a merger is pending.", "characters": [ "psychologist", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "stress", "merger", "pending", "normal", "surprise", "goatee" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally is uncertain which path to take: discover a shared vision or modify his conceptual map.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "shared vision", "enrolment", "compliance", "conceptual map", "organisational complexity", "work", "pay" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Asok says he didn't accomplish much and maybe it would be better if he hadn't been born.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "task", "accomplishment", "born", "slap", "remind" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-19", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells a sales rep about bugs in software, and the sales rep says it will cost to fix them.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "sales rep" ], "keywords": [ "software", "bug", "fix", "defective", "product", "evil euphoria", "fortune", "single source", "strategy", "choice", "raspberry" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-20", "subject": "Presentation", "saga": "Future Dilbert comes to the present.", "synopsis": "Dilbert finds a unique way to accomplish more work with fewer people. The solution involves time travel.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "request", "plan", "more work", "fewer people", "future", "time machine", "unmotivated", "projector" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-21", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "A Dilbert from the future comes back to meet Dilbert.", "characters": [ "future Dilbert", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "ZZOOP", "future", "time machine", "invention", "weird", "head", "finger", "hole" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-22", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert introduces his future self to the Boss.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "future Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "future", "time machine", "project", "miserable", "solid sewerage", "assignment" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-23", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Alice meets the future Dilbert. The future Dilbert says Alice will be all over him at the next party.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice", "future Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "future", "time machine", "holiday party", "drink" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-24", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "The future Dilbert says he knows about all tragic events in Dilbert's life.", "characters": [ "future Dilbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "future", "time machine", "tragedy", "event", "coffee", "spill", "crotch", "ow", "burn", "scald" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-25", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "The future Dilbert calls Dogbert \"Your Majesty.\"", "characters": [ "future Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "future", "time machine", "majesty", "retroactive", "dance" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Tina reacts badly when the Boss touches her computer screen.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "computer", "screen", "finger oil", "title", "move", "clean", "hover", "aura of infallibility", "touch" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-27", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert gives a CD-ROM business card including a list of his character flaws to a woman at a party.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "CD-ROM", "business card", "film archive", "character flaw", "wine" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-28", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert saw his date's personal web page and she looked at his CD-ROM business card.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "CD-ROM", "business card", "web page", "conversation", "restaurant", "wine" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-29", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Anne L. Retentive to review a first draft.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Anne L. Retentive", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "review", "first draft", "world", "fly apart", "kill", "comma" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert uses bad assumptions and flawed logic to arrive at the Boss's predetermined answer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "analysis", "assumption", "logic", "flaw", "predetermined answer", "disillusion", "pie chart" ] }, { "date": "2000-03-31", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss has cancelled dumpster service to save money.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "dumpster service", "cancel", "money", "alternative", "trash", "garbage", "pocket" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Wally to do a gap analysis for the department.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "gap analysis", "honest", "pointy", "hair", "office", "Boss's head" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-02", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Ted returns to the company and describes his resignation manifesto.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "sing", "dance", "resign", "manifesto", "e-mail", "picture", "video clip", "sound", "web site", "off Broadway", "theatre production", "motivation", "disgust" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-03", "subject": "Health", "saga": "Wally's fake disability claim.", "synopsis": "Wally wants to go out on a fake disability claim.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "fake", "disability", "claim", "leave", "note", "doctor", "believe", "obvious" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-04", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Catbert wants Asok to spy on Wally, who's out on a fake disability claim.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Asok", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "disability", "claim", "leave", "evidence", "spy", "vigorous", "activity", "camcorder", "video camera" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-05", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Asok takes pictures of Wally at home on disability leave.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Catbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "disability", "claim", "leave", "test", "spy", "camera", "picture", "move", "jiggle", "camcorder", "video camera" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-06", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Wally returns from his fake disability leave.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "disability", "claim", "leave", "return", "early", "camaraderie", "stimulating conversation" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-07", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert suggests asking a question \"What would Dogbert do?\" to help Ratbert cope.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "question", "what would Dogbert do?", "bumper sticker", "blindfold", "WWDD", "what would Jesus do?", "WWJD", "blind" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-08", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert asks himself \"What would Dogbert do?\" as he's walking down the sidewalk.", "characters": [ "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "question", "what would Dogbert do?", "brain", "dry", "peanut", "hungry", "thought", "WWDD" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-09", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to fly to Austin to answer some customer questions even though the telephone would be faster and easier.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "fly", "Austin", "question", "customer", "telephone", "concept" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-10", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert plants memories in Dilbert's subconscious he went skydiving.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "skydive", "remember", "false memory", "plant", "subconscious", "college", "believe", "remote control" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-11", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Alice about the time he went skydiving.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "skydive", "false memory", "plant", "bah", "parachute", "trampoline", "plane", "bounce", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-12", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert takes a report to the Technology Buddha for enlightenment.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Technology Buddha" ], "keywords": [ "enlightenment", "report", "meditate", "wise", "bowl", "ice cream", "vanilla", "trance" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-13", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows a report to the Technology Buddha.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Technology Buddha" ], "keywords": [ "enlightenment", "eat", "idea", "stink", "shoe", "scrape" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-14", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Alice says she's quit but would lose an extra week of vacation.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "quit", "job", "vacation", "week", "service", "happy", "plan" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-15", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Dilbert admits he would work harder if offered stock incentives.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "work hard", "stock", "offer", "incentive", "admit", "beat up", "customer", "trap" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-16", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "A telemarketer offers the Boss a long-distance telephone service.", "characters": [ "Boss", "telemarketer" ], "keywords": [ "telephone", "long distance", "mile", "short", "interest", "telephone headset" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-17", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Ken says he received severance packages from previous employers and hopes for another one.", "characters": [ "Ken", "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "severance", "package", "employer", "retire", "ka-ching", "fire", "downsize" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-18", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Wally takes a self-paced online training course to improve himself.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "self-paced", "Sharpen My Saw", "online", "subject", "confuse" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-19", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "The new company sadist.", "synopsis": "The new sadist arrives to thwart Dilbert's every move.", "characters": [ "company sadist", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "misery", "thwart", "paradise", "auditing department" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-20", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The company sadist invites Dilbert to a four-hour meeting.", "characters": [ "company sadist", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "long", "agenda", "hurt", "doughnut", "floor", "odds" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-21", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The company sadist forwards Alice's e-mail to everyone in the company.", "characters": [ "company sadist", "Alice", "co-worker", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "forward", "insult", "project", "theory", "brown hair" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-22", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice deals with the company sadist in her own fashion.", "characters": [ "Alice", "company sadist", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "fist of death", "note from the author", "violence", "friend", "bag", "dumpster", "drag", "differences", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-23", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally proactively complains about his workload so he won't get more assignments.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "sleep", "alarm", "complain", "workload", "ounce of prevention", "assignment", "project", "deliverable", "task", "action item", "fire drill", "dog and pony show", "glare" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-24", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The Boss finishes Dilbert's project plan without Dilbert's help.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "project plan", "input", "lie", "skip", "assignment", "failure", "preliminary", "blame" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "A liaison is assigned to Dilbert to keep him away from normal people.", "characters": [ "Boss", "engineering liaison", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "social misfit", "job", "normal", "title" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells the engineering liaison about his project status.", "characters": [ "engineering liaison", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "project status", "translate", "client", "project", "idiot", "requirement", "drunk" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-27", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally finds out what \"engineering liaison\" really means.", "characters": [ "Wally", "engineering liaison", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "think", "mean", "hidden meaning", "claim", "sex", "flowers" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-28", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Wally says demons have possessed his PC and the Boss should approve a new one.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "demon", "PC", "web site", "abomination", "solution", "approve", "fast", "porn" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-29", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The new project manager gives Dilbert a difficult assignment.", "characters": [ "Bucky", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "project manager", "assignment", "difficult", "complain", "painful" ] }, { "date": "2000-04-30", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert recommends repackaging buggy software as a rust inhibitor.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "software", "product", "bug", "repackage", "rust inhibitor", "computer", "advertisement", "error message", "stupid", "research", "spit", "exclamation point", "laptop computer", "presentation" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-01", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The Boss builds up a really stupid assignment for Asok.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "assignment", "career", "asset tag", "office equipment", "cry" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-02", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Asok discusses his asset tag assignment with anyone who'll listen.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "asset tag", "assignment", "stapler", "equipment", "conversation" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "A CEO brags about being wealthy to the staff.", "characters": [ "CEO", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "speech", "obscene", "wealth", "guest house", "cash", "brick", "speech writer", "microphone" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-04", "subject": "Presentation", "synopsis": "Dilbert summarises a project into three bullet points. He had to invent words.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "summary", "project", "bullet point", "invent", "word", "splurby", "noobah", "pizkwat", "projector" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-05", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert confesses he's starting to get an inferiority complex.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "inferiority complex", "feel better", "excuse", "wicked wag", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-06", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to take a class for a new technology but the Boss says to learn from the sales rep.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "sales rep" ], "keywords": [ "training", "technology", "class", "vendor", "moist towelette", "sponge bath", "trade rag" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-07", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks his date which presidential candidate she likes.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "presidential candidate", "hair", "social policy", "view", "tax plan", "economist", "pollute", "vote", "intelligence", "lie", "date" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-08", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert becomes a generic self-help consultant, where he tells people to keep their thoughts in a journal.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "generic", "self-help", "journal", "thought", "bill", "lead by example", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-09", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells an overweight man to lose weight by recording meals in a journal.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "overweight man" ], "keywords": [ "weight-loss pencil", "lose weight", "journal", "meal", "patent", "big", "pencil", "giant pencil" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-10", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells a marketing rep a product would melt the ice caps and destroy humanity.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "marketing rep" ], "keywords": [ "product", "polar ice caps", "doom", "humanity", "destroy", "planet", "free", "t-shirt" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-11", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "A marketing rep says her plan will annihilate all of Earth's life.", "characters": [ "marketing rep", "Asok", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "plan", "annihilation", "life", "Earth", "competitor", "company", "tobacco", "junk food", "volunteer", "accomplish", "performance review" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-12", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Wally says although it looks like he does no work, he is actually a resource for strategy and knowledge management.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "untrained eye", "work", "knowledge management", "strategy", "think", "raging sea", "head", "stomach", "gurgle", "sound" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-13", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Dogbert offers to build an e-commerce site for the Boss.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "team", "e-commerce", "site", "build", "document", "maintain", "cool", "deliver", "flying pig", "IS group" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-14", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol to answer his phone because important people don't use voicemail.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "telephone", "inefficient", "morale", "voicemail", "information", "message", "scream", "live person", "important" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-15", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Alice dates the Boss's boss (a vice-president).", "synopsis": "Alice tells the Boss she scheduled a meeting with his boss.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "schedule", "meeting", "problem", "speak frankly", "cute", "date", "fear" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice says her meeting with the Boss's boss was good and they laughed a lot.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "boss", "story", "laugh", "urban legend" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-17", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "The vice president expresses doubt about dating Alice since she's in his division.", "characters": [ "vice president", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "division", "tool", "restaurant", "doubt", "indifference", "arouse", "nuts", "VP", "engineer", "subordinate", "wine" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-18", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "The vice president brings Alice a bouquet of pencils.", "characters": [ "vice president", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "bouquet", "cubicle", "pencil", "flower", "telephone", "fire", "secretary", "stalk" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-19", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "Dilbert says it's the Boss's fault he didn't show initiative this year.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "initiative", "fault", "atmosphere", "fear", "distrust", "note to self" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-20", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "At his performance review, Dilbert says his main weakness is he works so fast, he becomes invisible.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "weakness", "improve", "fast", "invisible", "work", "blur", "multitasking", "often", "once a year" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-21", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert says his project is behind schedule because the schedule is an artificial deadline with no basis in reality.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "schedule", "artificial", "knowledge", "future", "wild guess", "surrogate", "deadline", "trade show", "reality", "budget", "apologise", "role", "knowledge", "failure" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-22", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Female CEO in company advertisements which Dogbert directs.", "synopsis": "Dogbert recommends using the new female CEO in the company's advertisements.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "power", "hi-tech", "exploit", "fame", "advertisement", "suggest", "wardrobe", "bikini", "woman", "industry" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-23", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "The Boss asks the new CEO to appear in the new company advertisements.", "characters": [ "Boss", "CEO", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "advertisement", "power", "tan line", "high tech", "consultant", "industry" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-24", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "The CEO wonders why she's leaning on a chair in the advertisement.", "characters": [ "CEO", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "product", "advertisement", "studio", "camera", "director", "megaphone", "shout", "hair", "nun", "chair", "makeover", "bullhorn", "television camera" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-25", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dogbert uses blue-screen technology in his advertisement with the new female CEO.", "characters": [ "CEO", "Dogbert", "body double" ], "keywords": [ "pose", "chair", "product", "advertisement", "studio", "model", "blue screen", "blouse", "towel", "spokesperson", "camera", "beret", "breasts", "nude" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-26", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Carol and the Boss come up with an efficient way to fire Ted.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "fire", "goodbye", "party", "organise", "efficiency", "surprise", "party hat" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-27", "subject": "Health", "note": "Part of the tribute to Peanuts and Charles Schultz. Panel 1 refers to urine (\"pee\") and Panel 2 refers to cashews (\"nuts\"). Together, they form \"Peanuts.\"", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets a random drug test and free cashews.", "characters": [ "doctor", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "random", "drug", "test", "unpleasant", "cashews", "Charlie Brown", "think", "urine" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss gets a fake video surveillance camera and wants Dilbert to install it in the break room.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "pssst", "fake", "video surveillance", "camera", "break room", "theft", "cheap", "criminal", "hide", "trash", "secret" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-29", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to impress women by talking about how long he can wear his socks before they start to smell.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "socks", "antimicrobial", "polymer", "bond", "chlorine atom", "cotton", "stink", "wear", "pick-up line", "hi" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-30", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dogbert has the patent for \"No-Click Shopping.\"", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "patent", "no-click shopping", "whiner", "obvious", "idea", "ship", "book", "one-click", "amazon.com" ] }, { "date": "2000-05-31", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss tries to start a documentation trail on Wally.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "documentation trail", "fire", "inactivity", "form" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss gives a morale improvement award to Ed, who complains more than half is deducted for taxes.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ed", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "morale improvement", "award", "after tax", "wonder" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-02", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss reports to Ming everyone says their web site is ugly.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ming" ], "keywords": [ "web site", "ugly", "everyone", "Tibetan Monks", "confuse", "entire planet" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss pretends to turn invisible so he doesn't have to make decisions.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "invisible", "desk", "quiet", "decision", "silent", "see" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-04", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert says auditors discovered bikini pictures on Wally's PC and says it's grounds for dismissal.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "auditor", "gigabit", "bikini", "picture", "PC", "grounds for dismissal", "plead", "innocent", "magnetic media", "activate", "godless", "fire", "justice", "grey area", "porn" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-05", "subject": "Dating", "saga": "Mordac and Ming date.", "synopsis": "Mordac and Ming insult each other and get turned on.", "characters": [ "Mordac", "Ming" ], "keywords": [ "Preventer of information services", "firewall", "punish", "HTML", "COBOL", "attraction", "suspenders", "romance", "foreplay", "webmistress" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-06", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Ming she now reports to Mordac of I.S.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ming", "Mordac" ], "keywords": [ "report", "protest", "meeting", "oblige", "hate", "works for me", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-07", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Mordac writes Ming a love letter and includes a threat to fire her.", "characters": [ "Mordac", "Ming", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "love letter", "e-mail", "garbage", "recycle bin", "terminate", "boss" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-08", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Edfred, the two-faced employee, tells Dilbert he'll back him up at the meeting.", "characters": [ "Edfred", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "two-faced employee", "plan", "stupid", "back you up", "meeting" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-09", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Edfred, the two-faced employee, disagrees with Dilbert in front of the Boss, even though he agreed two minutes ago.", "characters": [ "Edfred", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "stab", "disagree", "meeting", "brilliant", "plan", "face", "deny" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss decides to manage like a sadistic game show host.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "sadism", "game show", "host", "insane", "performance review", "pecked to death", "trained birds" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-11", "subject": "Vendor", "synopsis": "The Boss advises Dilbert to be unethical with vendors because Dilbert's budget was cut.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "sales rep" ], "keywords": [ "budget", "cut", "technology", "install", "unethical", "purchase", "hint", "free", "lie", "hidden cost" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-12", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Intranet collaboration software", "synopsis": "Dogbert tries to sell Intranet collaboration tools to the Boss.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "employee", "ignorant", "sell", "Intranet", "collaboration", "tool", "share", "sign", "contract", "network" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-13", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok wants to share knowledge with the Intranet collaboration software. Wally doesn't want to share.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "share", "knowledge", "Intranet", "collaboration", "software", "insult", "hoard", "network" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-14", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "The Boss complains to Dogbert no one uses the Intranet collaboration software.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert", "Catbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "Intranet", "collaboration", "software", "defective", "cat scan", "next", "complain", "pun", "network" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-15", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Asok tells how he invited 50 people to a meeting to discuss a bug in their product.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "accomplishment", "staff meeting", "schedule", "bug", "discuss", "fix", "thanks", "status report" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-16", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains the network topology plan to the Boss and asks for money for a new server.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "server", "plan", "network topology", "load", "pointy", "haired", "idiot", "clueless", "purchase order", "sign", "diagram", "naming scheme" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-17", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Ted gets enlightened when the meeting and all the strange words suddenly make sense. Disaster follows.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "enlightenment", "word", "explode", "sense", "card", "head" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-18", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "An instructor at the workplace violence prevention training class describes how to identify potentially violent employees.", "characters": [ "instructor", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "violence prevention", "workplace", "potential", "beard", "stupid answer", "creepy", "ineffective", "male", "disrespect", "change seats" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-19", "subject": "Technology", "saga": "Dilbert goes on a date with Ming", "synopsis": "Dilbert suggests adding an FAQ section to their web site. Ming refuses.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ming" ], "keywords": [ "web site", "FAQ", "suggestion", "ignorance", "merit", "dating", "weekend", "frustration" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-20", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Ming asks for an explanation why Dilbert asked her out after she treated him like dirt.", "characters": [ "Ming", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "understand", "male", "brain", "dirt", "personality", "overrate", "hot", "sexually aroused" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-21", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Ming is insulted when Dilbert asks her out.", "characters": [ "Ming", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "insult", "level of attractiveness", "sexy", "car", "electric car" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-22", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Ming prefers humming to talking on her date with Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Ming", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "talk", "car", "radio", "hum", "pretend", "bad", "cognitive dissonance" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-23", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Ming and Dilbert establish ground rules for their conversation -- chattering nonstop and gawking at women.", "characters": [ "Ming", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "restaurant", "chatter", "people", "gawk", "male", "trait", "mind", "wine" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-24", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Ming complains to a friend on a mobile phone she's having the worst date ever.", "characters": [ "Ming", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "mobile phone", "ass", "worst date", "inspection", "butt", "bend over" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for a raise. The Boss says challenges are more valuable than money.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "raise", "underpaid", "money", "challenge", "valuable", "change", "kill", "infect" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-26", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The Boss finishes presenting the plan and the engineers go wild.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "plan", "scream", "inspire", "PDA", "webvan split", "stock market", "investment" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says Dilbert must work eighteen hours a day to compete.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "work hours", "compete", "industry", "inspire", "competition" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-28", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "Ratbert, the company concierge", "synopsis": "Ratbert becomes the company's new concierge.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ratbert", "co-worker", "Asok", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "concierge", "errand", "personal", "degrade", "loofah", "lather" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-29", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Wally asks Ratbert, the company concierge, to get him a date.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "concierge", "hot", "errand", "promise", "employee", "movie", "theatre", "wig", "dress" ] }, { "date": "2000-06-30", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Ratbert, the company concierge, to attend a doctor's appointment for him.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "no time", "appointment", "doctor", "sleep", "desk", "sweet-talk", "diet", "exercise", "pill", "concierge" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-01", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A suspicious-looking employee asks Ratbert, the company concierge, for an alibi.", "characters": [ "employee", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "alibi", "police", "truth", "break", "lye", "barrel", "crime", "murder" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-02", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't believe the data being presented and he takes issue with it.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "presentation", "system failure", "software", "data", "actionable", "practical value", "crime", "guilty", "awkward", "interest", "ugly", "incident" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-03", "subject": "Character", "saga": "Lulu has no sense of proportion for problems.", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Lulu who has no sense of proportion for problems.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Lulu" ], "keywords": [ "normal", "sense", "proportion", "problem", "funny" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-04", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "The Adventures of Lulu: the Boss gives Lulu an assignment.", "characters": [ "Lulu", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "proportion", "assignment", "war", "scream", "hate", "sense" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-05", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "Lulu asks for help with her assignment because it's a huge crisis.", "characters": [ "Lulu", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "proportion", "crisis", "assignment", "wonder", "God", "soften", "smite", "static guard", "lightning" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-06", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "Lulu complains her project was in a death spiral until she reorganised her filing system.", "characters": [ "Lulu", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "project", "proportion", "death spiral", "meeting", "leap", "action", "reorganise", "filing system", "stress" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-07", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "Lulu wins the employee of the month award.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Lulu", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "proportion", "employee of the month", "win", "odds", "award", "random", "protest", "taint", "victory" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-08", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "Alice tells Lulu her project is stalled waiting for Lulu's input.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Lulu", "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "proportion", "project", "stall", "input", "now", "jaw", "unhinge", "mad", "fright", "hoagie", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-09", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Asok presents his idea for creating human simulations from DNA samples.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "presentation", "software", "human simulation", "DNA", "sample", "market application", "genome", "map", "dating", "simulation", "watch", "computer", "button", "feed", "punish", "diagram" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-10", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to write his own performance evaluation, and tells him what raise to shoot for.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "write", "do it yourself", "raise", "invention", "billion", "dollar", "steal" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-11", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants the Boss to hire him as a consultant for web strategy.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "free sample", "management", "idiot", "web strategy", "recommend", "change company name" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-12", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "The Boss buys a used consulting report from Dogbert. He will assign rights for DOS to Microsoft.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "consulting report", "used", "exclusive rights", "DOS", "Microsoft", "good feeling" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-13", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert offers to bean the CEO with a golf ball -- for a price.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "golf", "dollar", "bean", "ball", "helmet", "clubhouse" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-14", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Asok hits the outer boundaries in describing his week.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "staff meeting", "render", "useless", "stress", "bad management", "cafeteria", "inappropriate", "terrific job", "middle ground" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-15", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Asok asks Wally for advice on how to deal with stress.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "stress", "excuse", "exercise", "Good Thing", "advice" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-16", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains the Boss's plan is impractical. The Boss says it isn't worth doing if it isn't hard.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "plan", "impractical", "management", "hard", "walk", "hop", "recant", "absurd", "bow", "reason" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-17", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "The Boss wonders why Dilbert won't release information to Marketing.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "marketing", "information", "respect", "decline", "invitation", "hallucination", "join", "system", "bah" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-18", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Ted gets a t-shirt with a target printed on it for an achievement award.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "award", "t-shirt", "achievement", "agenda", "staff cuts", "target" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-19", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "All satellites will be de-orbited and turned into flaming balls hurtling toward Earth, the Boss says.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "shut down", "global communication", "de-orbit", "satellite", "flame ball", "Earth", "city", "swimming pool", "presentation" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-20", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "A reporter gets hit with a falling satellite just as he was about to identify the responsible company.", "characters": [ "Boss", "news reader", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "news", "television", "satellite", "investigation", "behind", "whump", "plan", "assassinate", "accident" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-21", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert is tired of not being respected and plans to send out his resume.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "respect", "work", "resume", "company", "place", "wonder" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-22", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert finishes updating his resume to send to a company in an undesirable location.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "resume", "computer", "slave", "potential", "location", "sarcasm", "supportiveness" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-23", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The new CIO, a baby, meets the engineers at a meeting. He answers the call of nature in mid-meeting.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert", "CIO", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "baby", "young", "integrate", "meeting", "e-commerce", "plan", "nature calls", "diaper", "soil", "decentralise", "procurement", "gramps" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-24", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The project has finished ahead of schedule, the project manager announces. Dilbert wants to know which schedule.", "characters": [ "project manager", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "finish", "schedule", "original", "question", "meeting", "revision", "calendar", "change" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-25", "subject": "Corporate Services", "saga": "Tina's computer gets upgraded.", "synopsis": "A technician from I.S. comes into Tina's cubicle and takes over her computer.", "characters": [ "technician", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "IS", "upgrade", "reformat", "computer", "hard drive", "guilt", "tool", "circuit board" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-26", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "The I.S. technician hides under Tina's desk for three days.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Tina", "technician" ], "keywords": [ "IS", "desk", "upgrade", "computer", "hide", "food", "licorice", "feed" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-27", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "The IS technician breaks Tina's computer when he upgraded it.", "characters": [ "technician", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "IS", "upgrade", "broke", "ahead", "broken", "fast", "computer", "tool" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-28", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert finishes upgrading the sales support network. A sales person complains he can't unlock his Lexus anymore.", "characters": [ "sales rep", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "upgrade", "sales", "support", "network", "Lexus", "unlock", "own", "look like" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-29", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss complains his computer screen is fuzzy.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "computer", "screen", "fuzzy", "fiddle", "clean", "handkerchief", "flu", "subject", "monitor" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-30", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "The Boss and Dilbert interview Paul, who claims to have invented e-commerce.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Paul" ], "keywords": [ "interview", "candidate", "invent", "e-commerce", "teach", "lie", "engineer", "hire" ] }, { "date": "2000-07-31", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert tells Asok he needs approval for any outside jobs.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "approval", "outside job", "realise", "control", "life", "think", "predict" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally tells the Boss he will spend the next year adding automatic registration to their product.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "plan", "goal", "staff meeting", "automatic registration", "product", "feature", "scowl" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Ted gets a promotion in title to Senior Vice Duke and Imperial Majesty of all Engineering.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "promotion", "title", "senior vice duke", "imperial majesty", "business card", "engineering" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to start tracking time spent with internal clients so he can send fake bills to other departments.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "time tracking", "client", "fake bill", "helpful", "time sheet", "internal" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-04", "subject": "Security", "synopsis": "Alice reacts to the theft of her purse by booby-trapping her cubicle.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "steal", "purse", "Navy Seal", "training", "booby-trap", "cubicle", "aaiee", "mail", "scream" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-05", "subject": "Security", "synopsis": "Dilbert hangs upside down in a snare, caught by Alice for entering her cubicle.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "booby-trap", "cubicle", "snare", "borrow", "guest chair", "rope" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-06", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert announces video camera surveillance, ID badges, telephone and Internet monitoring, and mandatory drug testing.", "note": "The newspapers published a censored version of the strip. The uncensored version showed Wally's ass crack, a very small line. The censored version removed that line.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "video camera", "ID badge", "Internet", "telephone", "usage", "monitor", "drug test", "brand", "hot iron", "butt cleavage", "awareness" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Carol wonders why the Boss makes five times as much as her when she works harder.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "work hard", "pay", "compensation", "kill" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-08", "subject": "Business", "saga": "The Boss's Internet start-up company.", "synopsis": "The Boss contemplates creating an Internet start-up company.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "Internet", "start-up", "business plan", "VC", "B to B", "Viet Cong", "breakfast in bed" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-09", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "The Boss tries to recruit Dilbert to work for his Internet start-up company.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Internet", "start-up", "poach", "employee", "wink", "moron", "shout" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-10", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "Carol creates a business plan for the Boss's potential Internet start-up company.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "Internet", "start-up", "business plan", "investigation", "SEC", "securities fraud", "handcuff", "song" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss almost hired another engineer when he remembered he could just make Dilbert work twice as hard.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "plan", "hire", "engineer", "motivation", "nomination", "cost-saving", "award" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-12", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Ted's ten-year service party is scheduled for when he is having surgery.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "ten-year service", "party", "surgery", "casserole", "potluck" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-13", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Rasputin, the new consultant, demonstrates his charisma on Asok and Wally.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Asok", "Rasputin", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "paper cut", "bleed", "charisma", "demonstration", "evil eye process", "anti charisma", "goatee" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally comes in to work ten minutes early because of the Boss's pep talk.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "motivation", "pep talk", "early", "cost", "start time" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-15", "subject": "Presentation", "synopsis": "Alice presents the disaster recovery plan which consists of panicking and screaming.", "characters": [ "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "presentation", "disaster recovery plan", "panic", "scream", "help", "budget", "hope", "projector" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-16", "subject": "Presentation", "synopsis": "During a long presentation, an audience member screams with pain.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "co-worker", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "slide", "scream", "pain", "sleep", "PowerPoint", "poison", "diagram" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-17", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "Dilbert's salary is 115% of the mid-point of the range. Dilbert is more pessimistic of that statistic.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "salary", "mid-point", "range", "exciting", "system", "supervisor's page", "peek" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-18", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The Boss sends a memo to allow non-essential personnel to go home early.", "characters": [ "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "memo", "computer", "binoculars", "storm", "non-essential", "home", "spy", "layoff", "parking lot" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-19", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "An employee asks for an exception for the e-mail address rule of first initial and last name.", "characters": [ "Brenda Utthead", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "address", "initial", "name", "exception", "whine", "butthead" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-20", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says good managers hires smarter people than himself.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "staff meeting", "smart", "dumb", "CEO", "doom", "motivation", "high five" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-21", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "The Boss asks an applicant how he would handle a letter.", "characters": [ "Boss", "job applicant", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "interview", "mail", "inbox", "letter", "chain letter" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-22", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert says funerals waste time and heating costs are too high.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert's Mom", "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "waste", "funeral", "heating cost", "cremate", "furnace", "opinion" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-23", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert says pay slips will be more complex.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "pay slip", "complex", "rip off", "yeeha", "bug" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Tina wants to work part time. The Boss asks her if she can work on days off to finish urgent projects.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "part time", "day off", "urgency", "project", "pay cut", "negotiate", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-25", "subject": "Finance", "synopsis": "Dilbert sits in a box and checks his stocks.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "box", "stock", "will power", "check", "Internet", "cubicle" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The new corporate slogan is \"The power of the Internet lies in converging the future with the here and now.\"", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "slogan", "Internet", "future", "converge", "itch", "goosebump", "psoriasis" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-27", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date complains she hasn't received training for the new computer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "computer", "replace", "training", "class", "request", "manual", "read", "time", "cold", "coat" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-28", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert gets into self-service consulting where the Boss writes down his strategy and Dogbert sends massive bills.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "self-service consulting", "strategy", "bill", "business card" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-29", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert introduces himself, the self-service consultant, to the employees who are dumber than a crate of anvils.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Asok", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "self-service consulting", "hire", "dumb", "crate", "anvil", "operations", "centralise", "decentralise", "strategy" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-30", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Wally wants to follow Tom Peters's advice and become his own brand.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "Tom Peters", "advice", "brand", "phrase", "I gotta get me some of that", "evaluation" ] }, { "date": "2000-08-31", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "A certified technician pushes Dilbert away from the network server.", "characters": [ "certified technician", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "network", "server", "certification", "summon", "power", "embarrass", "class", "memory", "costume", "cape", "superhero" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-01", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "A certified technician gloats to the Boss about getting a better job at a different company -- all because of his certification.", "characters": [ "certified technician", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "certification", "gloat", "power", "job", "hire", "costume", "cape", "superhero" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says he reduces turnover of the most valuable employees and increases turnover of the least valuable employees.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "turnover", "valuable", "kick", "staff meeting" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for permission to take naps during the day.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "nap", "permission", "decision", "groggy", "delusional", "purple", "optical switch", "lemur", "dance", "French", "cigarette", "missile defence network", "design" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-04", "subject": "Personnel", "saga": "Giant amoeba", "synopsis": "The Boss interviews a multi-celled life form.", "characters": [ "Boss", "giant amoeba" ], "keywords": [ "resume", "interview", "multi-cell", "life form", "shake hands", "yelp", "harass" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-05", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces the giant amoeba to Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "giant amoeba" ], "keywords": [ "introduction", "new guy", "judge", "looks", "train", "moist" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-06", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally makes small talk with the single-cell organism.", "characters": [ "Wally", "giant amoeba", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "single cell", "organism", "ball", "shed", "water" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-07", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The giant amoeba isn't working out so the Boss lets it go.", "characters": [ "Boss", "giant amoeba" ], "keywords": [ "job", "Farworks", "secrete", "cry", "lay off" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-08", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Constant, useless interruptions plague Dilbert, like a posse to find out who leaves crumbs in the sink.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "joy", "productivity", "interruption", "posse", "crumb", "sink", "assume", "black sheep" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-09", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Dogbert's philosophy says winners never commit to a deadline, and work is for losers.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "work", "loser", "winner", "list", "commit", "deadline", "respect" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-10", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert has mapped Wally's genome and tells Wally what his genes predict about him.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "map", "genome", "technology", "pencil", "gene", "predict", "Caucasian", "hate", "right to privacy", "sleep", "supreme court", "poor vision", "bald" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Carol gets the Boss to sign lots of papers including a murder confession.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "sign", "paper", "file", "murder", "confession", "someday" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says he hid the emergency flashlights so no one can play with them.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "hide", "emergency", "flashlight", "play", "dumb", "Jedi", "lightsabre", "Star Wars", "day dream" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-13", "subject": "Technology", "saga": "Asok's e-mail monkey on his back", "synopsis": "Asok enjoys sending e-mail.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "feeling", "self-worth", "e-mail monkey on his back", "quit", "addiction" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-14", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Asok denies he has an e-mail monkey on his back.", "characters": [ "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail monkey on his back", "quit", "check", "resist", "monkey", "keyboard", "foot" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-15", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Catbert wants to deactivate Asok's Internet connection because of his e-mail monkey on his back.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail monkey on his back", "case", "deactivate", "Internet", "Palm Pilot", "strap", "ankle", "addiction", "cure" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-16", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Asok gives up e-mail and starts chatting on the Internet.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail monkey on his back", "quit", "cold turkey", "chat", "addict", "ROFL" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-17", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert becomes a business manager for a celebrity and steals everything.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "celebrity" ], "keywords": [ "business manager", "celebrity", "bank", "contract", "fortune", "biography", "film", "lock", "tax", "friend", "life story", "drug addict" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces this will be a fun organisation.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "fun", "leave", "rubber chicken", "hurt", "hit", "injury" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-19", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "What the work-at-home person says and what the rest of the family hears are completely different.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ratbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "disturb", "fire", "servant", "kill", "spider", "wound", "fly" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-20", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Alice asks the Boss to escalate the Marketing problem.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "marketing", "stall", "escalate", "understand", "help", "escalator" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-21", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants Dilbert to test the software today, but Dilbert is about to make major changes.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "test", "software", "change", "slap", "forehead", "talk", "aye-yi-yi-yi", "laptop computer", "tool", "current version" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-22", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert reviews his new to-do list: fake emergencies, doomed projects and unnecessary meetings.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "to-do list", "efficiency", "emergency", "doom", "project", "meeting" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-23", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "The Boss says speed is the key to success.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "speed", "key", "success", "confusion", "wrong", "fast" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-24", "subject": "Office Services", "synopsis": "A cubicle inspector tells Dilbert moving computers without approval from the Central Cubicle Committee isn't allowed.", "characters": [ "cubicle cop", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "computer", "move", "approve", "central committee", "adjust", "technician", "plant", "guideline", "staple", "pool", "fur hat", "communist", "cubicle", "flotation device", "swim" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-25", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert delivers a report full of obvious generalities to the Boss.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "report", "obvious", "generality", "fee", "recommend", "free" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-26", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells the story of the early years and says the founders lived in a cardboard box.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "entrepreneur", "spirit", "bum", "cardboard", "box", "bookie", "Cisco", "IPO", "presentation" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-27", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to spend money to save the company millions.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "approve", "save", "reverse", "side" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-28", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "The Boss doesn't want to ask his boss for more resources.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "plan", "increase", "resource", "ask", "weakness" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says there's a demand for employees like Ted.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "demand", "employee", "funny", "laugh at yourself" ] }, { "date": "2000-09-30", "subject": "Finance", "synopsis": "Wally tells the Boss he's a miserable bag of crud.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "stock options", "fortune", "bag of crud", "worthless", "value", "society", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-01", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Wally thinks fast under pressure and makes up a status report.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "status", "plan", "records", "protection", "interview", "stakeholder", "encryption", "liar", "plan", "digitise", "store", "centre of the Earth" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-02", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "Stuart, the union steward, proposes employees should not be allowed to move computers.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Stuart" ], "keywords": [ "evil", "union steward", "move", "PDA", "laptop", "giblet", "suspenders", "moustache" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-03", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "The Boss shows off the new office building and Asok hears voices in his head.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "office", "building", "architecture", "masterpiece", "storage space", "voice", "experience", "panic" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-04", "subject": "Organisation", "synopsis": "Dogbert recommends a reorganisation by customer type -- like feeble-minded people.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "customer type", "division", "focus", "feeble-minded people", "guess" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-05", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "The Boss's philosophy is to measure twice and cut twice.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "measure twice", "cut twice", "tape measure", "performance review" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-06", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally says executives are forgetting the Boss's name.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "office", "executive", "forget", "move", "name" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-07", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "Alice said she didn't beat her co-workers, and that helped improved her co-worker's morale.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "morale", "beating", "deserve", "team player", "improve" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-08", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The CEO says the company is too good to have poor results. Dilbert says that's not logical.", "characters": [ "CEO", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "speech", "podium", "inspire", "result", "poor", "question", "cause and effect", "logic", "pathetic", "loser", "squirm", "energy", "deserve" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-09", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert tells Dilbert they can't pay him this week.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "pay", "position code", "align", "module", "responsible", "problem", "anonymous", "note", "disappearing ink" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-10", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Dilbert calls payroll to get his pay problem fixed.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "call-forwarder" ], "keywords": [ "payroll", "problem", "help", "telephone", "forward", "call", "supervisor" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss transfers Helen to the Temporary Zombie division.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Helen", "zombie" ], "keywords": [ "transfer", "temporary zombie", "division", "plan", "wedding", "baby", "divorce", "dog", "book" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-12", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally offers Alice a stock tip. She rejects it.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "stock", "tip", "loser", "life", "question", "imply", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces the new guy who is either rude or shy.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "new hire" ], "keywords": [ "new employee", "name", "rude", "shy", "Rudy", "Shilo" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-14", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally mocks how much sugar Alice puts in her coffee.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "coffee", "sugar", "funny" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss how he should get rid of his old computer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "computer", "dispose", "school", "hard drive", "software", "tax", "accounting", "nightmare", "playground", "refrigerator", "idea" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-16", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "The Boss promised the Birdabon Society the company wouldn't hurt any birds.", "characters": [ "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "Birdabon Society", "chicken", "sandwich", "caterer", "lunch", "CPR", "eat", "pretend", "National Audabon Society" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wonders if Dilbert really did something terrible.", "characters": [ "Boss", "network administrator", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "deed", "terrible", "hallucinate", "punish", "ambiguous", "trace", "network", "password", "die", "secret" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-18", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dysfunctional employees", "synopsis": "Dogbert offers to get the Boss some employees who were raised in dysfunctional families.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert's Dysfunctional Employee Recruitment Services", "family", "mistreat", "trunk", "car" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-19", "subject": "Interview", "synopsis": "During an interview with a person raised in a dysfunctional family, the Boss threatens him.", "characters": [ "Boss", "dysfunctional employee" ], "keywords": [ "dysfunctional", "yell", "hire", "love", "more" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-20", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The dysfunctional employee complains he is working too hard.", "characters": [ "dysfunctional employee", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "work", "hard", "home", "kiss", "daughter", "certain" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-21", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert explains Alice is afraid of change, instead of being satisfied with her job.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "job", "satisfy", "think", "afraid", "change", "purr", "yell", "best work" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-22", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss must fire an engineer to reduce expenses because the sales force did not meet their goals.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "bad news", "enjoy", "sales", "goal", "fail", "expense", "fire", "incompetent", "moral", "punish", "hole punch" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-23", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss sees Dilbert and is surprised he still works here.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "surprise", "work", "still", "bite", "productivity" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-24", "subject": "Personnel", "saga": "Using the Internet for personal reasons.", "synopsis": "Catbert accuses Wally of using the Internet for personal reasons which is like stealing from the company.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "personal use", "Internet", "steal", "company", "Human Resources", "gang" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-25", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert fires Asok for using the Internet for personal reasons.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "personal use", "Internet", "fire", "groceries", "motto", "you can't spell \"who cares?\" without HR", "evil", "true" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-26", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to resist using the Internet for personal reasons.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "personal use", "Internet", "tempt", "knowledge", "tease", "ice cream", "hungry", "dangle", "eat", "cubicle", "fishing pole" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-27", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert tells the Boss everyone has been fired because they all used the Internet for personal reasons.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "fire", "Internet", "personal use", "wrinkle", "policy", "frankly", "teach", "web" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-28", "subject": "Interview", "synopsis": "The Boss interviews Dilbert who was fired yesterday for personal use of the Internet.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "reason for leaving", "fire", "personal use", "Internet", "crime", "pay", "minimum salary", "accept" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-29", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "Dilbert thinks the customer service clerk is flirting with him, but it's policy for her to smile at everyone.", "characters": [ "clerk", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "thank you", "flirt", "dating", "phony", "smile", "customer service", "great" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-30", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Carol says her son is flunking school but she is hoping he can get a job in computers.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "son", "flunk", "class", "job", "computer", "carry", "upset", "fill in the blank", "story" ] }, { "date": "2000-10-31", "subject": "Downsizing", "saga": "Catbert spray paints \"loser\" on Ted.", "synopsis": "Ted begins his 30 day dance of death to find another job in the company, Catbert says.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "thirty day", "dance of death", "job", "spray paint", "loser" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-01", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Ted complains he is running out of time. He has an \"O\" spray-painted on his shirt.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "thirty day", "job", "window", "shut", "loser", "spell" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-02", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Ted asks the Boss for a job in his area. Ted has an \"E\" spray painted on his shirt.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "thirty day", "job", "find it", "heart", "empty" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-03", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Ted says farewell to Wally on his last day of work. Ted has an \"R\" spray painted on his shirt.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "thirty day", "last day", "farewell", "stranger", "stay in touch" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-04", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date says she's an incurable romantic, but somehow Dilbert manages to cure her.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "romantic", "incurable", "shoe", "fungus", "air", "cure", "scratch", "table leg", "mistake", "oops", "restaurant", "wine" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-05", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The Boss reclassifies Ted's job to require a Ph.D. and an Olympic gold medal, but Ted is free to reapply.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "fire", "e-mail", "joke", "top ten", "sign", "hairless rodent", "reclassify", "PhD", "Olympic", "gold medal", "synchronised swimming", "posthumous", "congressional medal of honour" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-06", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Tina posts a \"do not disturb\" sign outside her cubicle.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "sign", "do not disturb", "post", "keep away", "undesirable" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally convinces the Boss to put an \"E-\" in front of his title of Director of Information, Operations and Technology.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "title", "director", "information", "operation", "technology", "e-diot", "easy", "remember", "idiot" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dogbert advises the Boss to compensate for his lack of knowledge by talking too much.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "compensate", "knowledge", "talk too much", "limit", "society", "expect", "interesting", "sit quiet", "think", "idea" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-09", "subject": "Sports", "synopsis": "Alice is learning to golf so she won't be excluded from the male-dominated golf events.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "golf", "learn", "exclude", "male-domination", "event", "putt", "miss", "television" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss calls Alice \"Hun\" and Alice takes it as a sexist comment.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "Hun", "hon", "thanks", "sexist", "burn", "village", "anger", "shout", "slave", "Attila", "harsh" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Hawaiian Shirt Day is coming up, the Boss says, and Wally recognises it as a punishment.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "fashion", "Friday", "Hawaiian shirt", "punishment", "perk", "disguise", "fake", "smile" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-12", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Ming signs Dilbert up for a trip to the south pole. Dilbert wonders why.", "characters": [ "Ming", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "south pole", "trip", "travel", "control freak", "manipulate", "parka", "arctic gear" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-13", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "The database of customer behaviour information can be used for data mining or other purposes.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "database", "customer", "behaviour", "non-linear", "math", "data mining", "retail", "channel", "spam", "good meeting" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-14", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Catbert for advice on the most evil way to use the database of customer information.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "evil", "database", "customer", "mailing list", "spam", "mercy", "blackmail", "clumping problem", "kitty litter" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-15", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Genetic engineering at the Dogbert Temp Agency", "synopsis": "Dogbert announces he uses genetic engineering to grow workers for his temp agency.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "temp", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert Temp Agency", "genetic engineering", "grow", "danger", "safety goggles", "hand", "mutant" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-16", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice shakes hands with the new temp.", "characters": [ "temp", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "handshake", "genetic engineering", "Dogbert Temp Agency", "mutant" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-17", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "The temp asks Dilbert if he needs a \"hand.\"", "characters": [ "temp", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert Temp Agency", "hand", "mad", "count", "fifteen", "mutant" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-18", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The temp makes blank photocopies for Asok.", "characters": [ "Asok", "temp" ], "keywords": [ "photocopy", "blank", "original", "copy", "side", "talk to the hand", "mutant" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-19", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert writes a business book called \"Change Happens. Get Over It.\"", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "book", "business", "title", "filler", "parable", "bull", "hamburger", "picnic", "foreword" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-20", "subject": "Engineer", "saga": "Engineers work for tips", "synopsis": "Wally thinks all music on the Internet should be free and artists should get their money from digital tips. Catbert thinks the same idea be applied to engineers.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Catbert", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "music", "Internet", "free", "artist", "money", "digital tip", "engineer", "idea", "brilliant" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-21", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "Wally acts like a waiter as he offers his engineering skills to a co-worker.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "waiter", "today's special", "incomprehensible mumbling", "acronym", "sauce", "snide", "attitude", "technical review", "sarcasm", "tip", "apron" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-22", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "Wally, working for tips, brings the RFP instead of the spec binder.", "characters": [ "Wally", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "waiter", "tip", "RFP", "spec binder", "arrogant cow", "anger", "apron" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-23", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "Wally counts his tips from the day's work as an engineer waiter.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "tip", "waiter", "breath mint", "death threat", "scrawl", "napkin", "forget", "apron", "cash" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-24", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A co-worker spouts sayings that have no meaning.", "characters": [ "co-worker", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "my man", "stayin' real", "keepin' to the core", "no meaning", "dude", "goatee" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss used to not care about his subordinates, but that's changed now.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "care", "subordinate", "change", "delegate", "what's her face" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert says the project isn't feasible and the Boss wants to work the numbers instead.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "analysis", "pet project", "feasible", "work the numbers", "underlying reality", "massage the numbers", "hallucination", "fiddle with the numbers", "idea", "phrase" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-27", "subject": "Health", "saga": "CPR training", "synopsis": "Catbert can't find the CPR dummy and wants Wally's help.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "CPR", "dummy", "help", "find", "lie", "first aid", "back", "mouth", "open", "training" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-28", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Catbert announces mandatory CPR training.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Asok", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "CPR", "mandatory", "training", "pear-shaped", "beef-eating", "middle-aged", "touch", "stress" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-29", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Asok faints and the engineers want to know if anyone knows CPR.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Catbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "down", "CPR", "kidney", "first aid", "tub", "ice", "strip", "shave" ] }, { "date": "2000-11-30", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "The engineers vote on the best method to help Asok, who has fainted.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Asok", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "vote", "CPR", "first aid", "Heimlich manoeuvre", "sneak", "boo", "drill" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-01", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dilbert goes to Marketing to see if any of them know first aid.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "marketing guy", "Asok", "Alice", "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "CPR", "first aid", "marketing", "engineering", "dead pool", "team building", "potluck lunch" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-02", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Asok recovers and wants to know who saved his life.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Ratbert", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "CPR", "recover", "angel", "Lifesavers" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally proposes working flex hours, where he works before hours and after hours.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "flex time", "early", "late", "co-worker", "witness", "cubicle", "filth", "staff meeting", "scheme", "sarcasm", "separate" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-04", "subject": "Law", "saga": "Jury duty", "synopsis": "Dilbert goes to a jury room and looks forward to a week of quiet time away from his job.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "juror" ], "keywords": [ "jury", "quiet time", "book", "cell phone", "noise" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-05", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Another juror asks Dilbert what excuse he plans to use.", "characters": [ "juror", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "jury duty", "excuse", "happy", "civic responsibility", "insanity", "moustache" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-06", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "The judge asks a juror with a hole in his head about potential medical problems.", "characters": [ "judge", "juror", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "jury", "selection", "medical problem", "hole", "head" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-07", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "A potential juror says it's against his religion to judge others.", "characters": [ "juror", "judge", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "jury", "selection", "religion", "judge", "excuse", "God" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-08", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "The trial goes to deliberations but one juror is snoring.", "characters": [ "lawyer", "juror", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "summary", "deliberation", "snore", "jury", "please rise" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-09", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dilbert delivers the jury's verdict: guilty.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "judge", "juror" ], "keywords": [ "jury", "defendant", "guilty", "crime", "brochure", "witness protection" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-10", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Ming says her change will make the response time to be sub-second, but Dilbert argues the change will add to the response time.", "characters": [ "Ming", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "sub-second", "response time", "jerk", "laws of physics", "fault", "right", "wrong" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains to the Boss the engineers can't handle all the requests from the Sales Department.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "staff", "request", "sales support", "online database", "stare", "contempt", "disbelief", "meditation" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss doesn't want to say if Dilbert did a good job.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "performance review", "want", "good", "rub", "sorry" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for Dogbert's help to make a succession plan.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "succession plan", "die", "Satan", "flaming worm", "tiptoes", "eternity", "hell" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss appoints Wally to be the leader if anything happens.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ming", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "succession plan", "leader", "multi-vitamin", "safe", "mixed blessing", "stethoscope" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-15", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders why Ted charged time to his project when all Ted did was attend a meeting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ted", "manager" ], "keywords": [ "cross charge", "meeting", "sit", "drunken monkey", "refund", "fair", "ka-ching" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-16", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Dilbert finishes a presentation, but no one has any questions.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "presentation", "question", "interest", "alone", "diagram" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert says the project is ready except for the budget. The Boss forgot to get the funding.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "budget", "ready", "funding", "project", "task", "meeting", "holler" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-18", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Wally thinks wearing a turtleneck sweater will encourage flirtatious behaviour in the office.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "casual dress", "flirt", "behaviour", "turtleneck sweater", "concentrate", "adorable", "warning cone", "cubicle" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-19", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to cancel casual dress days because they are hurting productivity.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "casual dress", "productivity", "irrational management", "comfortable pants", "problem" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-20", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Catbert cancels casual dress days and wants everyone to wear uncomfortable clothing.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "casual dress", "uncomfortable clothes", "armour", "space suit", "helmet", "motivation" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-21", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally says he'll adopt an incomprehensible accent when people ask him questions.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "adopt", "incomprehensible accent", "question", "coffee pot", "empty" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-22", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to go to lunch with Wally so he can look good by comparison.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "lunch", "free", "remind", "lazy", "personality", "looks", "renaissance", "loser" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-23", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally thinks others should be punished for padding their objectives since he's the only one who's not exceeding his objectives.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "expectation", "exceed", "padding", "objectives", "punish", "lie", "weasel", "whistle blower", "award" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-24", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells his mom it's inefficient to wrap her birthday present so he'll just wrap it in a towel instead.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's Mom" ], "keywords": [ "birthday", "present", "wrapping", "inefficient", "towel", "borrow", "surprise", "cookie" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss meditates by clearing his mind of all thoughts.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "knock", "clear", "mind", "thought", "market space", "going forward basis", "practise", "useless" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-26", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "A doctor examines the Boss after he tried to meditate.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "doctor", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "meditate", "problem", "management", "mind", "empty", "rifle", "pocket", "stethoscope" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-27", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "The engineers try to figure out how to bring the Boss out of his coma.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "coma", "meditate", "work", "punch", "remember", "left-handed", "right-handed" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-28", "subject": "Ethics", "synopsis": "Since the Boss is in a coma, Wally wants to forge his signature to get a raise.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Asok", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "tape", "pencil", "raise", "forgery", "moral compass", "hiccup" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-29", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Catbert explains how to bring the Boss out of his coma.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "brain", "pump", "empty", "prime", "learn", "foundation", "perception", "smack" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-30", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dilbert asked for more e-mail storage and tech support deleted Dilbert's files.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Mordac" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "storage", "delete", "file", "request", "choice", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "2000-12-31", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dogbert says Dilbert should act less like himself on his date.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Dilbert's date" ], "keywords": [ "advice", "crystal", "collect", "heal", "point of view", "scientific evidence", "ignorance", "angry", "restaurant", "flowers", "wine" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-01", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert meets Topper, who tops anything anyone says.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Topper" ], "keywords": [ "amazing", "introduction", "top", "first", "ruin", "system" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-02", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains of mouse cramp. Topper tops that complaint.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Topper", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "mouse cramp", "chain", "upside down", "Elbonia", "prison wall", "risk", "competitive", "win", "conversation", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-03", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Topper compare the costs and benefits of their projects.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Topper", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "project", "save", "completion", "cost", "half a mind" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-04", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Ming complains of a headache. Topper tops that complaint.", "characters": [ "Ming", "Topper" ], "keywords": [ "headache", "doozy", "bam", "win", "start", "self inflicted", "dent" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-05", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Asok creates software that makes all copyrighted works available for free on the Internet.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "software", "Internet", "free", "copyright", "destroy", "creativity", "plunge", "depression", "neat" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces a plan to give away their product for free and charge for deinstallation.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "plan", "product", "give", "free", "bill", "customer", "deinstall", "consumer", "decapitation", "report" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-07", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells a co-worker battery technology can't handle her requirements. She hears something different.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "battery", "size", "close", "mind", "memory", "erase", "motive", "transformation", "avoid", "serial killer", "preach", "choir" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss describes how he retains employees -- whittle at their confidence.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "plan", "retain", "employee", "confidence", "whittle", "sluggish" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-09", "subject": "Professional", "saga": "The Motivation Fairy", "synopsis": "The Motivation Fairy greets Wally.", "characters": [ "Motivation Fairy", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "magic wand", "enjoy", "work", "futility", "knock out", "myth", "wing" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-10", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "The Motivation Fairy thinks Wally will be a big challenge.", "characters": [ "Motivation Fairy", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "challenge", "minimum wage", "pay", "reimburse", "travel", "wing", "career path" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-11", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "The Motivation Fairy and Wally discuss the aspects of hard work.", "characters": [ "Motivation Fairy", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "work hard", "respect", "peer", "stress", "outlive", "luck", "Wing" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-12", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Wally delivers the knock-out blow to the Motivation Fairy.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Motivation Fairy" ], "keywords": [ "job", "reward", "vision", "blur", "hour", "raise", "cubicle", "hair", "speech", "clump" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss tells the engineers to work hard, achieve great things, and then die.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "work hard", "achieve", "die", "reality", "inspiration", "speech", "cry" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-14", "subject": "Personality", "synopsis": "The engineers get the results of their personality tests to improve teamwork.", "characters": [ "personality tester", "Dilbert", "Randy", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "type", "test", "preference", "teamwork", "style", "logic", "problem", "solve", "moral", "value", "idiot", "illogical", "menace" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-15", "subject": "Advertising", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces the new ad agency's creative team: Pete Peters, Robert Roberts and Holly Hollister.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Pete Peters", "Holly Hollister", "Robert Roberts", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "creative team", "witty remark", "imagination", "goatee" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-16", "subject": "Advertising", "synopsis": "The ad agency presents an idea for a commercial about cats and sarcasm. The Boss is the only one who is amused.", "characters": [ "Pete Peters", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "story board", "cat", "picture", "yeah right", "sarcasm", "laugh", "explain", "goatee" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-17", "subject": "Advertising", "synopsis": "The ad agency presents an idea for a commercial with a stick man, a tire fire and a giant wolverine.", "characters": [ "Pete Peters", "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "story board", "stick man", "tire fire", "wolverine", "exact science", "goatee" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-18", "subject": "Advertising", "synopsis": "The Boss wonders whether it's wise to insult minority groups in a commercial.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Pete Peters" ], "keywords": [ "insult", "minority group", "commercial", "worst", "spit", "flag", "difficult client", "goatee" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-19", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The \"Exactly\" man doesn't like Dilbert's idea.", "characters": [ "The \"Exactly\" Man", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "idea", "buy", "product", "exactly" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-20", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice proves the \"Exactly\" Man wrong and gets a predictable response.", "characters": [ "Alice", "The \"Exactly\" Man" ], "keywords": [ "exactly", "proof", "wrong", "humanoid", "response" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-21", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "A man seeks out Dogbert's, a professional liar, services.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "dot-com founder", "underwriter" ], "keywords": [ "professional liar", "producer", "embarrass", "review", "movie", "author", "quote", "cover", "dot-com", "founder", "IPO", "underwrite", "television", "ear", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-22", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Asok complains to Mordac his new PC has no monitor.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Mordac" ], "keywords": [ "PC", "monitor", "memory", "memorise", "calendar", "cheese", "whine", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-23", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert's Discount Brokerage", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells Dilbert he is starting up a discount brokerage firm.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "discount brokerage", "commission", "customer", "advice", "verbal abuse", "records" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-24", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert interviews a potential investor to find out his knowledge of investing.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "investor" ], "keywords": [ "discount brokerage", "account", "stringent", "requirement", "true or false", "evaporate", "photosynthesis", "yee-haw", "hick" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-25", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "An investor asks for Dogbert's advice on creating an estate plan. Dogbert tells him to stay dead.", "characters": [ "investor", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "discount brokerage", "estate plan", "dead", "zombie", "gift", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-26", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains opening an account gets you a free dart board and a monkey.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "discount brokerage", "account", "dart board", "monkey", "balance", "drop", "kill", "telephone headset" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-27", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "An investor asks Dogbert for free investment advice. Dogbert threatens him.", "characters": [ "investor", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "discount brokerage", "free", "advice", "demand", "shout", "pay", "ear", "flip", "threat", "telephone headset" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-28", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to know why all projects fail and if there is a common point of failure. Everyone thinks it's him.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "post mortem", "fail", "obvious", "source", "blame", "point", "sneeze", "common" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-29", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains to the Boss how to get their stock price to rise.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "weasel" ], "keywords": [ "stock", "price", "analyst", "weasel", "pick-and-shovel", "basket of money", "core holding" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-30", "subject": "Finance", "synopsis": "The weasel equity analyst will rate the company's stock as \"must buy now\" if he also gets their investment banking business.", "characters": [ "weasel", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "stock", "rate", "must buy now", "investment banking", "Chinese Wall", "door" ] }, { "date": "2001-01-31", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces Sales and Fulfilment have been outsourced to an Elbonian country.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Elbonian", "Elbonian pig" ], "keywords": [ "outsource", "sales", "fulfilment", "Elbonia", "sell", "complex", "technology", "telephone", "string", "tin can" ] }, { "date": "2001-02-01", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "The Elbonian Fulfilment Service answers a phone call.", "characters": [ "Elbonian", "Elbonian pig" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonian Fulfilment Service", "thwart", "grunt", "funny", "telephone", "tin can", "string" ] }, { "date": "2001-02-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Tina presents the results of the customer satisfaction survey where 83% spat at their telephones until they died of dehydration.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Boss", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "customer satisfaction survey", "spat", "telephone", "die", "dehydration", "group", "luck" ] }, { "date": "2001-02-03", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "A customer calls the Sales Department, outsourced to an Elbonian company, and gets insulted.", "characters": [ "customer", "Elbonian", "Elbonian pig" ], "keywords": [ "die", "choke", "bile", "supervisor", "monitor", "quality control", "tin can", "string" ] }, { "date": "2001-02-04", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert gets the Boss to subscribe to his new technology magazine.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert's Technology Magazine", "reporter", "objective review", "product", "advertise", "junk", "subscribe", "stand on head" ] }, { "date": "2001-02-05", "subject": "Management", "saga": "The Feature Creep", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces the Feature Creep, who determines the product's features.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Feature Creep", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "feature", "product", "praise", "cape" ] }, { "date": "2001-02-06", "subject": "Product", "synopsis": "The Feature Creep asks for a low-battery indicator.", "characters": [ "Feature Creep", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "schedule", "late", "low-battery", "indicator", "health", "objective", "warm", "night and day", "overwork", "cape" ] }, { "date": "2001-02-07", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Feature Creep thinks he has a super power and is sexy.", "characters": [ "Feature Creep", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "super power", "sexy", "oomp", "missy", "gasp", "cape" ] }, { "date": "2001-02-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert he failed to meet a CEO-set goal. Dilbert wants to know which one.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "fail", "goal", "objective", "CEO", "impossible", "ill-advise", "life", "other people" ] }, { "date": "2001-02-09", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Alice's flight arrived at 3AM and she's suffering the next day.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "flight", "red-eye", "slap", "eye", "uncross", "coffee", "hostage", "hair" ] }, { "date": "2001-02-10", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Alice tells the Boss she came in to work even though she had been travelling all night.", "characters": [ "Alice", "security guard", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "flight", "usual", "jeopardy", "work", "hair", "park", "lobby" ] }, { "date": "2001-02-11", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert interviews the Boss's Nephew, whose professional experience consists of bowling -- once.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Boss's Nephew" ], "keywords": [ "job interview", "experience", "bowling", "ball", "heavy", "work", "remember", "snack bar", "whack", "new boss" ] }, { "date": "2001-02-12", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The CEO announces the company is poised for earnings growth, but he is leaving first.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "poise", "growth", "earn", "announce", "leave", "stock option", "vest", "tie flip up" ] }, { "date": "2001-02-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss tries to see what's on Dilbert's computer screen, and pretends to be in mid-stride while spying.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "work", "screen", "font", "spy", "mid-stride", "pretend", "muscle", "cramp", "telephone", "cell phone" ] }, { "date": "2001-02-14", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Ted tells Alice to smile, and she gives him a look of death.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "smile", "hurt", "gaaak!!", "kill", "look", "frown", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2001-02-15", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells Dilbert to be self-delusional. It's the only way to be happy.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "key", "happy", "self-delusion", "organic", "think", "pain collector", "race", "oblivion", "blame" ] }, { "date": "2001-02-16", "subject": "Nature", "synopsis": "The Boss says he likes to fish and he does catch-and-release. That sounds like fish torture, Ming says.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ming" ], "keywords": [ "lover", "fish", "catch-and-release", "torture", "fun", "other words" ] }, { "date": "2001-02-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert the deadline has been pushed back a week, but Dilbert is upset because he has been working flat out to meet the deadline.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "good news", "bad news", "deadline", "marathon work", "schedule" ] }, { "date": "2001-02-18", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Carl, a call centre employee, is asked to reduce his average call time.", "characters": [ "call centre manager", "Carl", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "call centre", "reduce", "average", "call time", "fired", "product", "question", "fast", "interface", "bonus", "study", "priesthood", "telephone headset", "paycheque" ] }, { "date": "2001-02-19", "subject": "Performance Review", "saga": "Alice is hooked on positive reinforcement.", "synopsis": "Alice receives positive reinforcement from the Boss and she gets all tingly.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "feedback", "strange", "feeling", "ecstasy", "pulse", "soul", "positive reinforcement", "tingle" ] }, { "date": "2001-02-20", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice's exposure to positive reinforcement is wearing off so she seeks more by asking for compliments.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "positive reinforcement", "experience", "addict", "say something nice", "crazy", "drool", "drug", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2001-02-21", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice's exposure to positive reinforcement is wearing off so she tries to steal other's deliverables.", "characters": [ "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "positive reinforcement", "addict", "drug", "deliverable", "presentation", "slide", "projector", "praise" ] }, { "date": "2001-02-22", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Alice is promoted to management.", "synopsis": "The Boss and Catbert decide to promote Alice to management because of her behaviour.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "inadvertent", "verbal praise", "addict", "lie", "steal", "no choice", "promote" ] }, { "date": "2001-02-23", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice's soul departs after she's promoted to management.", "characters": [ "Alice's soul", "Phil" ], "keywords": [ "soul", "manager", "need", "claim ticket", "demotion", "sax" ] }, { "date": "2001-02-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice asks the Boss how to cope with not having a soul.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "manager", "empty", "soul", "teeth", "grit", "dance", "air guitar" ] }, { "date": "2001-02-25", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to automate tech support by analysing incoming e-mails for key words.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "idea", "online", "automation", "e-mail", "analyse", "key word", "plan", "response", "customer", "ski mask", "throw rock", "house", "dissatisfaction", "sarcasm", "supportiveness" ] }, { "date": "2001-02-26", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Dogbert's management training class.", "synopsis": "The Boss blindfolds Alice so they can go to the secret management training facility.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "training", "secret location", "car", "blindfold", "drive" ] }, { "date": "2001-02-27", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks his management training class what to do if they made a large mistake.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "management trainee", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "management", "instructor", "mistake", "learn from it", "answer" ] }, { "date": "2001-02-28", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells his management training class the two essential rules of management.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "management", "rule", "essential", "customer is always right", "punish", "arrogance" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-01", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Dogbert deactivates a pupil's moral compass in his management training class.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "management trainee" ], "keywords": [ "management", "twist", "ear", "skull", "moral compass", "deactivate", "leadership", "working weekends", "unlock", "brain" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-02", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "In Dogbert's management training class, Tim demonstrates the cloak of invisibility.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Tim", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "management", "cloak of invisibility", "demonstrate", "hide", "slide", "desk" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice doesn't like being a manager anymore so she asks Wally to smother her with a pillow.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "like", "favour", "house", "smother with a pillow", "kidding", "struggle" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-04", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Fred, the incompetent VP, gets fired by Catbert. They discuss the format of the announcement.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Fred" ], "keywords": [ "incompetent", "favour", "resignation announcement", "terse", "smile", "ambiguous", "e-mail", "VP" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice gets her soul back after being demoted.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Phil", "Alice's soul" ], "keywords": [ "soul", "claim ticket", "demotion", "non-management", "cubicle" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally uses a huge bottle of water to avoid work.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "bottle of water", "glug", "avoid work", "assignment" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-07", "subject": "Sales", "saga": "Honest vendor", "synopsis": "Dilbert decides on a product to buy, but the sales person talks him out of it.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "honest vendor" ], "keywords": [ "close", "mistake", "truth", "XQ-7", "security", "reliability" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-08", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Wally about an amazing thing: a vendor who tells the truth.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "honest vendor", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "vendor", "truth", "amazing", "focus group", "meeting", "afraid", "sandwich" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-09", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "A vendor says Dilbert will want to throw the product through a window five minutes after he buys it.", "characters": [ "honest vendor", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "vendor", "truth", "throw", "window", "loss", "repair", "component", "shame", "die", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-10", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "The honest vendor says goodbye to Dilbert, saying he'll probably spank his hamster.", "characters": [ "honest vendor" ], "keywords": [ "vendor", "honest", "goodbye", "handshake", "spank", "hamster", "repeat business", "overrated" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to return a phone call to a vendor so the Boss can save himself two minutes.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "delegation", "stalk", "prey", "surprise", "vendor", "save two minutes", "guess", "background", "telephone number", "question", "answer" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss tells everyone to not be afraid of change. Ted says he wants to move to China and change gender.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ted", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "afraid of change", "gender change", "operation", "China", "wonder", "listen" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-13", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "The Boss was suspicious about Alice calling in sick on a Monday.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "suspicion", "sick", "Monday", "sneeze", "cough", "optional guts", "internal organs", "hair" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-14", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Wally, wearing a gas mask, tells Alice it's OK for her to sneeze.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "germ", "sick", "sneeze", "gas mask", "explode", "hair" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss promotes Dilbert to president of their dot-com subsidiary.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "promotion", "dot-com", "subsidiary", "president", "fire", "raise", "billion shares", "stock" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert, CEO of a dot-com, lays everyone off because there's no profit. The staff wonder what \"laid off\" means.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "baby", "dot-com employee" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "profit", "laid off", "compliment", "bottle", "wonder" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-17", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dogbert, tech support, advises the Boss to reboot his mousepad because it's incompatible with his operating system.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "mousepad", "incompatible", "operating system", "reboot", "watch", "telephone headset", "monitor" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-18", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to get approval from Marketing for a plan. Dilbert gets a cloud of doom.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "marketing guy" ], "keywords": [ "approval", "cloud of doom", "reject", "plan", "smite", "enemy", "customer", "shorts", "staple", "demon", "proposal" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-19", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert wants to reduce staff by twenty, and gives the Boss a list of people who are almost worked to death.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "reduce", "staff", "headcount", "layoff", "almost worked to death", "project" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-20", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert phones a woman and gets trapped in her voicemail.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "telephone", "Paris", "lousy movie", "voicemail", "bad feeling" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-21", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date says she likes men who take charge.", "characters": [ "Dilbert's date", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "take charge", "c'mon", "bowling alley", "dumb", "realise" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-22", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date asks him why he won't give an opinion on anything.", "characters": [ "Dilbert's date", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "opinion", "spineless", "environment", "invitation", "unnecessary pain", "yell", "cry", "public", "restaurant", "wine" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-23", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to show the VP only the areas they're doing well.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "VP" ], "keywords": [ "loser", "numbers", "doing well", "internal subterfuge", "eighty percent", "moustache", "dark glasses", "disguise" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-24", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert describes two programs, Golden Handcuffs for the best employees and Prickly Panties for the rest.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "retain", "golden handcuffs", "program", "prickly panties", "bowl of candy", "dental plan" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-25", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "The Boss rates Tina's performance as poor because she did no work.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Tina", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "rating", "poor", "no work", "technical documents", "e-mail", "forward", "attachment" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-26", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for advice before going to a job interview. Dogbert says to juggle items from the desk.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "interviewer" ], "keywords": [ "job interview", "advice", "juggle", "confidence", "staple" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-27", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert's power utility company", "synopsis": "Dogbert makes Ratbert VP of Operations for his new power utility company.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "good news", "bad news", "power utility company", "VP of Operations", "office", "wheel", "generator" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-28", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert gets Bob to be the Director of Marketing for his new power utility company.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bob", "Billy" ], "keywords": [ "power utility company", "director of marketing", "revenue", "monster under the bed", "light", "blanket", "kid" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-29", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert, in a television commercial, asks everyone to buy electricity from his new utility company.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "maintenance worker" ], "keywords": [ "power utility company", "electricity", "television", "advertisement", "California", "environmentalists", "furnace", "incinerate" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-30", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Asok gets Ted to admit the delays are his fault and declares victory.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Ted", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "delay", "fault", "agree", "win", "excite", "victory lap", "sore loser", "trip", "immature", "injury" ] }, { "date": "2001-03-31", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "An interviewee tells Catbert he has five years experience as a dot-com president.", "characters": [ "dot-com president", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "job interview", "five years experience", "dot-com", "president", "burn", "luck", "profit", "joke", "smile" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss \"hardens\" Asok, where Asok gets more work than his central nervous system can handle.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert", "Asok", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "hardening", "work", "central nervous system", "stiff", "assignment", "gaaa", "apathy cream", "sink in", "air hole", "ripen", "overwork" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-02", "subject": "Financial", "synopsis": "The Boss explains to Catbert why he's not signed up for the 401K.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "401K", "sign up", "run", "10K wheelchair race", "whip" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-03", "subject": "Management", "note": "A web-only strip was published this day.", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for priority between two totally worthless assignments. Alternative web-only strip: The Boss asks Dilbert to assemble a crack team for his project.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "assignment", "priority", "worthless", "empower", "decision", "hope", "double-edged sword", "project", "assemble", "crack team", "competent", "busy", "butt cleavage", "tool", "circuit board" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert thinks the company can't crush his spirit until the Boss asks him to do the ISO 9000 coordinator's job as well.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "work", "little box", "coordinator", "crush my spirit", "quality assurance", "pale", "overwork" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-05", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert is selected to be in the \"Who's Incredible\" list.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "selected", "who's incredible", "leather-bound book", "gullible", "success", "dear occupant" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-06", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert brings his copy of \"Who's Incredible\" to his high school reunion.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "ex-school mate" ], "keywords": [ "who's incredible", "high school reunion", "rich", "gullible", "party" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-07", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert describes his rise from having nothing to getting his own cubicle at his high school reunion.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "ex-school mate" ], "keywords": [ "high school reunion", "life story", "cubicle", "adult", "wedgie", "specific", "party" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Asok to manage the annual business plan process. Asok thinks it is a punishment.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "punish", "manage", "annual business plan", "process", "beg", "budget", "lie", "ignore", "unimportance", "combine", "CEO", "magazine article", "worse", "senior management" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-09", "subject": "Nature", "saga": "Elbonian oil drilling", "synopsis": "The Boss announces they've discovered oil in an Elbonian wildlife preserve.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Elbonian", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "oil", "discover", "Elbonia", "wildlife preserve", "endangered species", "drill", "oops", "unicorn" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-10", "subject": "Nature", "synopsis": "Oil drilling has caused the extinction of the Elbonian unicorn, the Boss learns.", "characters": [ "Elbonian", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "oil", "drill", "extinction", "Elbonian unicorn", "DNA sample", "clone", "barbecue", "hamburger", "grill", "tin can", "string", "derrick" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-11", "subject": "Nature", "synopsis": "The Boss reports their oil wells caused the extinction of seven species in Elbonia.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "oil", "drill", "wells", "wildlife preserve", "extinction", "eat", "grunt", "species" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-12", "subject": "Nature", "synopsis": "Protesters demand the company stop ruining the pristine beauty of Elbonia.", "characters": [ "protester", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "protest", "placard", "oil", "drill", "ruin", "pristine", "beauty", "Elbonia", "picture", "argument" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-13", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains because of the tight labour market, jobs are getting harder and employees are getting dumber.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "tight labour market", "complicated tasks", "job", "staff", "dumb", "logical" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-14", "subject": "Product", "synopsis": "The user requirement list is so long, the product would be unusable, Dilbert complains.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "user requirement", "feature", "complex", "easy to use" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-15", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "The company's most valuable asset is rampant ignorance, Dogbert explains.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally", "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "valuable asset", "rampant ignorance", "project", "cost", "job", "customer", "bug", "trashcan", "accident", "exposure", "knowledge" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-16", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert and the Boss decide on mandatory lunchtime meetings for the employees and high-five each other.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "mandatory", "lunchtime", "meeting", "work-life balance", "high five", "bandage", "claws", "scratch" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-17", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains his cubicle is sucking the life force out of him and faster than usual.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "suck", "life force", "faster", "LifeSuck 3000" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-18", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Ted asks the rhetorical question \"What's the worst thing that could happen?\"", "characters": [ "Ted", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "worst thing that could happen", "beta", "product", "evil robot", "annihilate the galaxy" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-19", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date believes there is one true soul mate for every person.", "characters": [ "Dilbert's date", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "belief", "soul mate", "person", "busy", "stupid", "monkey" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-20", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The Boss emphasises trust, integrity and teamwork. Wally feels a warm glow.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "company values", "trust", "integrity", "teamwork", "warm glow", "unconditional love", "heating vent" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-21", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok considers the company's core values and Wally borrows Asok's chair.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "core values", "trust", "integrity", "teamwork", "borrow", "chair", "sell", "E-Bay", "auction", "online" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-22", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss suggests a wireless fibre multipage solution to fix a software bug. Dilbert describes all the ways that solution wouldn't work.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "wireless fibre multipage", "wrong", "solution", "software bug", "budget", "hardware", "business case", "yawn", "IT", "install", "approved vendor", "idea", "hold the fort", "coach" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-23", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "In Wally's weekly report, he describes how he struggled to maintain his morale despite the ninety percent drop in his stock options.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "staff meeting", "weekly Wally report", "struggle", "maintain", "morale", "drop", "stock options", "lost" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss encourages Dilbert to remain optimistic even in failure.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "key to success", "optimism", "fail", "point", "read", "page", "magazine article", "get back to you" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-25", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Alice tries to fend off boredom by imagining her co-workers naked. The idea backfires.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "boredom", "imagine", "co-worker", "naked", "scream", "vision", "doughnut" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-26", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert Ted was downsized and his important work is outsourced. Dilbert is to do Ted's unimportant job functions.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "outsource", "important", "unimportant", "because we can" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-27", "subject": "Psychology", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains to his therapist everyone is lying to him.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "psychologist" ], "keywords": [ "couch", "therapy", "mental", "lie", "congress", "budget", "stock analyst", "recommendation", "boss", "scientifically proven", "100% effective" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-28", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "A woman asks Dilbert if he has a good job.", "characters": [ "woman", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "good job", "definition", "decline", "stock options", "boss", "think", "laugh", "party", "Wine" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces changes in the management style. Asok volunteers for a back to the nineties kick off.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "industry", "slump", "style", "paternal", "no name", "suggestion", "we hate our employees", "volunteer", "kick-off", "wiggle" ] }, { "date": "2001-04-30", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Wally says his next generation Internet project will be done sometime in the next generation.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "next generation", "Internet", "project", "cute", "single woman", "low standards", "weekly Wally report", "schedule" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-01", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert prepares to go home when he encounters the six o'clock monster.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "happy", "prepare", "home", "too late", "cubicle", "six o'clock horror", "scream", "workspace" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-02", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert falls for an Internet scam to get 30 million dollars out of Nigeria.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Nigerian banker", "Internet", "scam", "country", "bank information", "commission", "e-mail", "tube sock", "dryer", "e-mail" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-03", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains to Ming there's slime trails everywhere and the office must have snails.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ming" ], "keywords": [ "snail", "office", "slime trail", "sign", "addiction", "hand lotion", "giant bottle" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice why their software expenses are higher than Marketing's software expenses.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "software", "expenses", "marketing", "monkey", "wristwatch", "fur" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-05", "subject": "Tech Support", "saga": "Wally impersonates a customer who was killed by a computer Alice threw of the roof.", "synopsis": "A tech support person suggests to Alice she reboot her computer. Alice kicks it off the roof.", "characters": [ "tech support person", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "telephone", "reboot", "suggestion", "kick", "roof", "feel better" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-06", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces the too helpful guy, who talks nothing but cheese to Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Boss", "too helpful guy", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "meet", "cheese", "truckload", "Parmesan", "message", "bread", "fondue", "ticket", "world-o-cheese", "exhibit", "Wisconsin", "nickname", "weird", "obsession", "leather" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says their biggest customer has been killed by someone who threw a computer off their roof.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "throw", "computer", "roof", "kill customer", "replace", "look alike", "club", "Willy" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally impersonates a customer to continue buying from the company.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "impersonation", "customer", "dead", "purchase", "briefcase", "work" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-09", "subject": "Society", "note": "A web-only strip with a different last panel was published this day. The different panel showed Wally looking at a toilet and saying he will ask his cellmate to look away in a few hours. The tamer version showed Wally wanting to get some temporary tatoos at the gift shop.", "synopsis": "Alice says Wally is in jail for impersonating a dead person.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "jail", "impersonation", "dead", "street smarts", "survive", "temporary tattoo", "gift shop", "weight lifter", "close your eyes and whistle", "toilet" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-10", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dogbert helps get Wally out of jail for impersonating a dead person.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "jail", "help", "door", "pretend", "lock", "lifer", "embarrass", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to change Wally's work assignments because of his criminal record.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "criminal record", "important", "assignment", "quality", "fake name", "police" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-12", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Catbert says there aren't enough friendly people to fill the call centre jobs.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "call centre person", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "friendly people", "call centre", "shortage", "angry", "telephone headset", "microphone", "mouth" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-13", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "The Boss rates Carol's performance as \"good.\" Carol interprets that as \"bad\" and wants to know what she did wrong.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "rating", "humiliation", "telephone message", "flight", "connection", "war zone", "save money", "press conference", "Parkside Strangler", "responsibility", "vague objectives", "serial killer", "good", "bad" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-14", "subject": "Secretary", "saga": "Carol doesn't screen sales people from the Boss", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol to screen calls and not let any sales people through.", "characters": [ "Boss", "sales person", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "screen calls", "telephone", "customer", "childhood friend", "flirt", "hot" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-15", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol why she lets sales calls through to him when he wanted them screened.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "telephone", "screen calls", "sales person", "bribe", "supplement", "income", "empower", "micromanagement", "brew" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-16", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "The Boss and Catbert confront Carol about her accepting bribes from sales people wanting access to the Boss.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "telephone", "sales person", "bribe", "access", "screen calls", "vendor", "golf trip", "Las Vegas", "price sheet" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-17", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "Wally asks Carol if she feels guilt about taking bribes.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "bribe", "vendor", "sales person", "guilt", "walk around", "coffee", "hard", "fur coat" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-18", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date compliments Dilbert for being a terrific conversationalist.", "characters": [ "Dilbert's date", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "dinner", "good night", "hug", "conversationalist", "write code", "complain", "discover", "kiss" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-19", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date complains about her life all night long, but Dilbert complains about one thing and she calls him a loser.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "complain", "loser", "personality" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-20", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert counsels Jittery Jeff, who is nervous because he was in a busy aisle near a doorway.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert", "Jittery Jeff" ], "keywords": [ "counsel", "cubicle", "busy aisle", "doorway", "nervous", "relax", "scare", "yell", "instinct" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-21", "subject": "Dating", "saga": "Alice meets a vendor after hours", "synopsis": "Alice says she's meeting a vendor after work because that's the only time he can answer questions.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "sales", "vendor", "drinks", "question" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-22", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Alice tells the Boss she's meeting a vendor after work for drinks.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "sales", "vendor", "drinks", "bait-lube-and-switch", "wife", "understanding", "product", "trench coat", "marriage" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-23", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Alice wants to make sure her meeting with a vendor at a bar will be strictly business.", "characters": [ "Alice", "sales person" ], "keywords": [ "sales", "vendor", "bar", "strictly business", "product", "chug", "bet", "Chardonnay", "slur words", "wine", "hair", "drunk" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-24", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Ming gives advice to Alice about what to do when dating an unattractive man.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Ming", "sales person" ], "keywords": [ "vendor", "sales", "unattractive", "project", "fix up", "comb over", "wind" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-25", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "In the Boyfriend Project, Alice starts fixing up how her boyfriend looks and acts.", "characters": [ "Alice", "sales person" ], "keywords": [ "boyfriend project", "turtleneck", "jeans", "fish", "marathon", "cry", "movie", "training" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-26", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Alice's unattractive boyfriend makes good progress under her guidance and she takes him out in public for the first time.", "characters": [ "Alice", "sales person" ], "keywords": [ "boyfriend project", "progress", "seen in public", "talk", "Nobel Prize", "wrestling", "before and after", "party", "wine" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-27", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert recommends using an outside vendor instead of internal developers who are clueless weasels.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "vendor", "internal developer", "four steps", "clueless", "weasel", "contract", "VP", "plan", "steaming mounds of worthless code", "grunt" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-28", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Incredulous Ed, who reacts to all questions as if you're inventing words.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Incredulous Ed" ], "keywords": [ "introduction", "react", "invent", "word", "question", "family" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-29", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "Alice asks Incredulous Ed for the latest budget numbers.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Incredulous Ed" ], "keywords": [ "budget manager", "why in the world", "report" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-30", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss shows off his latest gadget which does absolutely everything.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "ultimate tool", "mobile professional", "PDA", "telephone", "pager", "digital camera", "fax", "e-mail", "laptop", "shredder", "clip", "belt", "satellite dish", "antenna", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "2001-05-31", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss gets a spare battery for his new ultimate gadget.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "battery", "mobile technology platform", "strap on the back", "wheelbarrow", "lost a lung", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-01", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "Asok doesn't ask enough questions in meetings so he doesn't get a raise, the Boss says.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "raise", "ask", "question", "meeting", "care", "thirst for knowledge", "wood" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-02", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Alice wants the engineers to read the set-up instructions before unpacking the new device. Dilbert doesn't want to.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "set-up instructions", "read", "engineer", "slurping sounds", "grab", "coffee", "robot arm", "documentation" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-03", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to fire all consultants to save money. Brian the consultant is to transfer his knowledge to Flossie.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Brian", "Flossie" ], "keywords": [ "fire", "save money", "highly technical work", "knowledge transfer", "shake hands", "borrow", "pencil", "greeting ritual", "brain overload", "purge", "information", "raise rates" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-04", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Wally wants to know the lowest ratio of work-to-gabbing that can still be considered as work.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "ratio", "work-to-gabbing", "talking about work", "enjoy" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces an advertising cutback to boost earnings.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "security guard", "Carol", "Asok", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "cut back", "advertising", "earnings boost", "mass exodus", "doorway jam", "meeting" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-06", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert assigns a motto to Dilbert: dance like it hurts, love like you need money, work when people are watching.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "motto", "assign", "contract" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-07", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert can assign mottoes, nicknames and political preferences to Dilbert, the contract states.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "motto", "nickname", "contract", "political preferences", "demand", "sign", "Skippy", "communist" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss if he has looked at the travel request yet.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "travel request", "approve", "assume", "being useless", "Olympic sport" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-09", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders how to escape from a co-worker and decides to gnaw off his own arm.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "blah", "trap", "cubicle", "boring", "gnaw", "escape", "bandage" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-10", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert says the Parrot man's idea won't work. The Parrot man repeats Dilberts criticism back to Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Parrot man" ], "keywords": [ "Defective Co-Workers Hall of Shame", "criticism", "idea", "component", "proximity", "overheat", "detail", "heat", "moron", "clicking sound", "urge", "sunflower seed", "hall of fame" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-11", "subject": "Management", "saga": "everyone works longer hours", "synopsis": "The Boss wants everyone to work sixteen hours a day.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "expectation", "sixteen", "tired", "meeting", "listen" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert why he is leaving at seven o'clock. Dilbert says his work is done.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "leave", "finish", "work", "complete", "exercise in futility" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice why she's leaving early. She has already worked 80 hours this week.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "leave", "early", "eighty hours", "doctor appointment", "female problem", "detail", "trench coat" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-14", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally says he's running out of things to say, so he must repeat himself.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "running out", "things to say", "repeat", "airtime" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-15", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Alice complains a meeting stole two hours of her life.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "develop", "time-to-market", "benchmark", "framework", "stole", "life", "outburst", "yell" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-16", "subject": "Presentation", "synopsis": "Dilbert says his original product design was valuable, but thanks to teamwork, it has no actual features anymore.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "design", "product", "hole in the market", "teamwork", "feature", "fantasy", "co-worker", "squirrel", "diagram" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-17", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert says a bug in their software will send an insulting e-mail to your mother every Sunday.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Carol", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "bug", "software", "e-mail", "address book", "mother", "Sunday", "message", "compare", "face", "animal", "money", "telephone", "miserable", "diagram" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-18", "subject": "Travel", "saga": "Dilbert travels", "synopsis": "The Boss schedules Dilbert for a Monday morning meeting, but Dilbert protests saying he'd have to travel all day Sunday.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "steal", "life", "Monday", "Sunday", "reschedule", "social plan", "ouch", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-19", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets to sit in the co-pilot's seat because the flight is overbooked.", "characters": [ "check-in agent", "Dilbert", "pilot" ], "keywords": [ "overbook", "agent", "check-in", 747, "co-pilot", "fly", "chiropractor" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-20", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert checks into a hotel. The room is cheap but the mini-bar is expensive.", "characters": [ "desk clerk", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "check-in", "hotel", "room", "mini-bar", "motion detector", "hide", "bed", "refrigerator" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-21", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert makes excuses for dining alone at a restaurant, but the waitress is suspicious he is a loser.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "waitress" ], "keywords": [ "restaurant", "loser", "date", "business traveller", "girlfriend", "order", "challenge", "bluff" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-22", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert orders a meal at a restaurant. The waitress wants him to promise not to build a log cabin with penne pasta.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "waitress" ], "keywords": [ "restaurant", "order", "menu", "tip", "food", "penne pasta", "log cabin", "promise", "situation" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-23", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert arrives home from his trip to find Dogbert had hired a temp to replace him.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "temp" ], "keywords": [ "home", "arrive", "time sheet", "permanent position", "call", "mask", "replacement" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-24", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "E-mail is down so the staff copes in various ways. Dilbert wants to build a fire and Ming wants a hug.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ming", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "down", "panic", "ancient", "smoke signals", "hug", "least satisfying", "coffee" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-25", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Marketing's acronyms aren't the same as Engineering's. Asok did a task for Marketing but didn't get it right.", "characters": [ "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "marketing", "ORD", "BGG", "QRB", "acronym", "version", "nudity", "example" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-26", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert decides to become a perfectionist so he can have more reasons to hate people.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "perfectionist", "decide", "reason", "hate", "people", "rock", "erode" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-27", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to have a meeting to discuss employee retention. Dilbert says people quit because of too many useless meetings.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "employee", "retention", "discuss", "quit", "reason" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-28", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to do more with less. Wally throws back an equally meaningless phrase.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "do more with less", "work smarter", "broaden our focus", "meaning", "leadership" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-29", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol to fill in for the receptionist.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol", "visitor" ], "keywords": [ "fill in", "receptionist", "first impression", "face", "food", "offer", "eat" ] }, { "date": "2001-06-30", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The Boss invites the engineers to a meeting with Marketing just so he's not outnumbered by the other side.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "marketing guy", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "body", "outnumber", "marketing", "side", "dummy" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss for approval to buy a computer, but there's a freeze on the capital budget.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "approval", "computer", "freeze", "capital budget", "CEO", "ask", "limit", "component", "cubicle", "bang", "soft-walled containers" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-02", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "A co-worker codes for another company while appearing to work here.", "characters": [ "co-worker", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "code", "company", "crime pays", "benefit package", "sandwich", "dinner", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-03", "subject": "Contractor", "saga": "Dilbert hires a roofer for his house.", "synopsis": "A carpenter provides a cost estimate and start date to Dilbert. The start date is somewhat vague.", "characters": [ "roofer", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cost estimate", "builder", "Monday", "service industry", "space-time continuum", "calendar", "tool" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-04", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert builds a device to search the service industry's space-time continuum.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "roofer" ], "keywords": [ "invention", "search", "service industry", "space-time continuum", "plumber", "roofer", "carpenter", "electrician", "furnace", "house", "tool" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-05", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "A roofer takes off Dilbert's roof, and says he'll return next week.", "characters": [ "roofer", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "roof", "return", "finish", "rain", "indoor", "ruin", "control", "weather", "tol" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-06", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert worries about his half-repaired roof. The Garbageman loans him his weather control device.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Garbageman" ], "keywords": [ "roof", "rain", "shingle", "personal", "chaos-driven climate control", "loan", "randomiser", "apparatus", "weather control" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-07", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "In the lunch room, Asok tells about his thoughts to grow a unibrow.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "lunch", "lunchroom", "grow", "unibrow", "ban", "work-related conversation" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-08", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Wally becomes a fly on the wall at a manager's meeting about layoffs.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Boss", "manager" ], "keywords": [ "layoff", "downsizing", "fly on the wall", "wish", "budget", "fire", "hate", "doughnut", "ugly" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-09", "subject": "Overwork", "synopsis": "The Boss thinks Alice is understaffed and overworked so he hires another manager to glare at her and a stress counsellor for himself.", "characters": [ "Boss", "stress counsellor", "Alice", "manager" ], "keywords": [ "understaff", "manager", "relax", "deep breaths", "hair" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says he'll be managing by exception so he won't be talking to people unless they screw up.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "managing by exception", "talk", "assume", "project", "remember", "important" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants the product so easy to use somebody's mother could use it. He argues with Dilbert as to whose mother should be the test.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "easy", "product", "mother", "moron", "test", "fed" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss hires a person with no brain.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "new hire" ], "keywords": [ "job", "no-brainer", "resume", "brief", "doughnut", "experience", "ruin" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-13", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Ted asks the Boss about the layoff rumour.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "rumour", "layoff", "deny", "day off", "request", "Friday", "Monday" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-14", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The Boss and Catbert decide who will be downsized, those with excessive nose hair and who are called \"doctor.\"", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol", "Catbert", "Dr. Wolfington" ], "keywords": [ "fire", "nose hair", "doctor", "creep" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice thinks of a great idea to save money on building their product. The Boss takes credit for the idea with the VP.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss", "VP" ], "keywords": [ "unit", "money", "build", "idea", "credit", "admit", "fist of death", "hit", "control" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-16", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders about his purpose in life. Dogbert says it's to scratch his back.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "life", "purpose", "scratch", "back", "service", "useful", "bank", "stream" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-17", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Dilbert says their lives are pathetic because they do nothing but eat, work and sleep.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "life", "pathetic", "eat", "work", "sleep", "lunch", "hungry" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-18", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "Ron the sociopath", "synopsis": "A sociopath realises using his speakerphone will annoy his co-workers, but doesn't really care.", "characters": [ "Ron", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "sociopath", "cubicle", "telephone", "speakerphone", "annoy", "co-workers", "loud", "lunch", "delicious" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-19", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Alice complains the sociopath is using his speakerphone to listen to voicemail.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Ron" ], "keywords": [ "voicemail", "speakerphone", "socially defective", "mind", "dinner", "invitation", "sociopath", "restaurant", "wine" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-20", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "The sociopath says he never tips at a restaurant because it's optional.", "characters": [ "Ron", "Alice", "waitress" ], "keywords": [ "tip", "optional", "prior", "bread", "fling", "sociopath" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-21", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Alice falls completely for the sociopath even though he rifles through her purse.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Ron" ], "keywords": [ "love", "rifle", "purse", "telephone", "call", "ring once", "wait by the telephone", "sociopath" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-22", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "The Boss asks everyone to keep Carol informed of their whereabouts. Wally gives Carol too much detail.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "locate", "inform", "whereabouts", "wander", "coffee", "newspaper", "intern", "pepper spray", "cancel", "marketing", "flirt" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-23", "subject": "Society", "saga": "Dogbert's evolution training", "synopsis": "The Boss sends Monty to an accelerated evolution class.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert", "Monty" ], "keywords": [ "grow", "quick", "hope", "evolution", "program", "training", "class", "million years", "pack", "opposable thumbs", "fire", "tail", "ape", "accelerate" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-24", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Dogbert introduces his evolution training. A gorilla student eats the banana student.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "banana" ], "keywords": [ "evolution", "class", "seat", "eat", "slip", "peel", "problem" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-25", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Zoltar demonstrates speed evolving by growing new sideburns, although he doesn't get it right.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Zoltar" ], "keywords": [ "evolution", "class", "graduate student", "speed evolving", "grunt", "sideburns", "extra face", "arm" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-26", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Dogbert describes the one surviving student from his evolution class -- a three thousand pound squirrel.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "evolution", "class", "student", "survive", "cockiest squirrel", "three thousand pounds", "unlucky", "janitor", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss gives Wally his bonus even though Wally did no work all year.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "bonus", "work", "fire", "replace", "hiring freeze", "shrink", "empire", "hand-shake", "paycheque" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss was trapped in his office for three days.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "trap", "office", "three days", "scream", "staple remover", "claw", "wall", "push", "pull", "safe", "hair" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-29", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "Dilbert says the power supply in the product overheats. It gets exaggerated up to a four-star general who thinks it's a weapon.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "customer", "general" ], "keywords": [ "exaggeration", "power supply", "overheat", "flames", "level", "city", "military application", "free hammer", "consulting job", "uninhabited atoll", "trouble", "uniform", "blow up" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-30", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "An angry dumb guy dares anyone to ask his opinion.", "characters": [ "angry dumb guy", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "opinion", "beat", "let's see", "meeting", "threat" ] }, { "date": "2001-07-31", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "At an exit interview, Ted complains about working for an unethical weasel.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ted", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "exit interview", "reason", "unethical weasel", "personal problem", "collect", "data" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-01", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss wants a new chair and Carol wants his old chair.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "order", "chair", "smell", "roll", "redeploy", "tact", "important", "eye" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally distinguishes between the strong and the weak on a team. The strong work on perpetuating their genes.", "characters": [ "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "teamwork", "nature", "weak", "energy", "gene", "negative", "spin" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-03", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to get back to work after a chat with a co-worker, but the co-worker takes root in Dilbert's cubicle.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "chat", "busy", "work", "bye", "take root", "tree", "sprout", "branch", "leaf" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks everyone to be on the lookout for anyone suspicious because of recent thefts.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ted", "Wally", "Dilbert", "police officer" ], "keywords": [ "rash", "theft", "lookout", "suspicious", "meeting", "poster", "motivation", "break room", "arrest", "police officer" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol to take a list of key employees to Catbert. Her name isn't on the list.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "list", "key employees", "insane", "department", "interoffice envelope", "downsizing", "funky" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-06", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert reviews movies he hasn't actually seen.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "movie", "review", "critic", "Picasso", "Night of the Living Squirrel", "art", "studio", "payoff", "obvious" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-07", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "A movie producer negotiates purchasing a movie review from Dogbert.", "characters": [ "movie producer", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "movie", "review", "critic", "buy", "rave", "suspenseful thrill ride", "delightful", "new year's day", "comedy", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally gets a Clean Desk Award. He shares his secrets on how he manages to do it.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "clean desk award", "tip", "clutter", "throw", "men's room", "cubicle", "plaque" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-09", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces morale money employees earn for doing good work and can buy logoed items at the company store.", "characters": [ "Boss", "cashier" ], "keywords": [ "morale money", "meeting", "earn", "company store", "logo", "coffee mug", "cash register" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-10", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Asok requests an ergonomic evaluation of his chair and keyboard.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "ergonomic evaluation", "chair", "keyboard", "hurt", "hand", "numb" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-11", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "The Boss says eating six bananas a day will cure carpal tunnel.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "carpal tunnel", "cure", "eat", "banana", "hand", "teenager", "data", "medical advice", "pimple" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert and the Boss one-up each other to see who owes who what.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "decision", "information", "funding", "study", "business case", "deadline", "infinity", "win", "laser", "focus", "customer" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss is asked to say something at Bob's funeral, a former employee, but the Boss is stuck for something to say.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "Bob", "die", "family", "funeral", "performance review", "communication skills", "attendance", "podium", "microphone", "flowers" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-14", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "In customer service, Dogbert wants the customer to find the serial number by pulverising the case with a hammer.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "customer service", "serial number", "pulverise", "case", "hammer", "void", "warranty", "telephone headset" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-15", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to profile employees using handwriting analysis.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "analyse", "handwriting", "steal", "profile", "double-blind", "scientific study", "smiley face", "liar" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-16", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert accuses an employee of stealing by using handwriting analysis.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "employee", "Boss", "police officer" ], "keywords": [ "analyse", "steal", "loner", "disturb", "thief", "burn at the stake", "liberal", "ear" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-17", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert asks the Boss to lower his group's average performance evaluation.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "performance evaluation", "average", "rating", "touch" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss inspires his group by using his powers of communication.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "power of communication", "inspire", "gaaa", "zombie", "too late" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-19", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "To put Ratbert to sleep, Dilbert tells the story of his life.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "sleep", "story", "once upon a time", "monster", "pointy hair", "villager", "objective", "random", "optimism", "cry", "listen" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-20", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The Boss asks everyone to save energy. Wally falls asleep at the meeting.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "sleep", "snore", "energy", "hydro generator", "drool" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-21", "subject": "Dating", "saga": "Dilbert dates a much better woman, who wants to improve him", "synopsis": "A woman at a health club says she wants an intelligent and homely guy, for a change.", "characters": [ "Amber", "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "attractive", "dumb", "self-centred", "intelligent", "homely", "health club", "weight lifting", "sweatband" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-22", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Amber presents Dilbert a list of things to improve about himself.", "characters": [ "Amber", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "list", "improve", "lose weight", "wardrobe", "haircut", "car", "odour", "perfect" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-23", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Amber realises her list of improvements for Dilbert might be too much, so she considers meeting him halfway.", "characters": [ "Amber", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "mismatch", "improve", "level", "gain weight", "haircut", "teeth", "stain", "tobacco" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-24", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Garbageman for advice on dating a beautiful woman.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Garbageman" ], "keywords": [ "beautiful", "advice", "heap", "fresh garbage", "exciting", "mysterious", "compare", "compost", "trashcan" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-25", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert, with his girlfriend, subtly turns the light out.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Amber", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "couch", "kiss", "light", "save energy", "meet", "awkward" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-26", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The engineers are trapped at a meeting to determine a process on how to solve their problem.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "problem", "process", "solution", "idea", "develop", "cross discipline", "swat team", "offsite", "lockup", "firewall" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-27", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "Alice says her performance is high but her pay is industry average.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "exceed", "expectation", "pay", "market average", "under achiever", "earn" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-28", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to lower costs by inducing the smarter employees to leave.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "cost", "retire", "package", "induce", "smart", "mission statement" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss volunteers to be in the dunk tank for the fund raiser.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "dunk tank", "volunteer", "United Charity", "ball", "bonk", "line", "unconscious" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally says he worked all night so he wants a day off to make up for it.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "work all night", "comp day", "security video", "pile of debris", "conversation", "jump" ] }, { "date": "2001-08-31", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "A parts clerk says they don't give out parts anymore so they don't have to reorder.", "characters": [ "parts clerk" ], "keywords": [ "parts", "vicious cycle", "reorder", "survey", "customer satisfaction" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally asks the Boss if he can switch from engineering to administration.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "engineer", "administration", "report", "shift", "vegetative" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-02", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces the new sales manager, who makes inappropriate comments every five minutes.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Pigboy", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "inappropriate comment", "screening", "censor", "clever", "swear", "one-eyed carpenter", "sales manager", "hair", "forked tongue", "explode" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-03", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "An employee gets really excited at his termination.", "characters": [ "Boss", "downsized employee", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "excited", "severance package", "generous" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-04", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Profits are down because of the weak economy, even though they went up because of great management.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "profit", "economy", "blame", "leadership", "context", "meeting" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-05", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Wally reports no problems, just issues, opportunities and challenges.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "problem", "report", "issue", "opportunity", "challenge", "work", "necessary", "learning experience" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-06", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "The Boss complains his keyboard types only asterisks when he enters his password.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "keyboard", "broken", "asterisk", "password", "remember", "telephone headset" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-07", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to know if there is more to life than working.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "life", "work", "complain", "sleep", "death", "kid", "joy", "bathrobe", "breakfast" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice must learn to take risks, the Boss says.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "risk", "learn", "quit", "better company", "misunderstand", "three o'clock" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-09", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally asks Dilbert if he wants to join the lottery pool. Dilbert is reluctant.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "lottery pool", "rational", "money", "bet", "cubicle", "dance", "Dilbert pool", "gamble" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says their data is bad, but he needs good data to manage.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "data", "inaccurate", "concentrate", "bad", "credit", "harder than it looks" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-11", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "An employee is excited to be moved to the magic portal, cubicle 4S75OR.", "characters": [ "downsized employee", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "move", "magic portal", "cubicle 4S75OR", "sit", "better job", "first round", "cruel" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-12", "subject": "Accounting", "synopsis": "Ed crosstrains Asok on the accounting system.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Ed" ], "keywords": [ "crosstrain", "accounting system", "respect", "job security", "accounts receivable", "expense", "complain" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-13", "subject": "Accounting", "synopsis": "Asok complains the accounting system is dysfunctional and its results are meaningless.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Ed", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "accounting system", "dysfunctional", "result", "meaningless", "notice", "payroll expense", "genius", "management" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-14", "subject": "Contract", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains the supplier has doubled his delivery time.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "weasel" ], "keywords": [ "negotiate", "delivery time", "incompetent", "devious", "false nose", "whiskers", "disguise" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-15", "subject": "Contract", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains the weasel rewrote the contract in incomprehensible language.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Phil", "weasel" ], "keywords": [ "negotiate", "deal", "English", "weaselese", "choice", "sign", "lawyer", "deadline", "heck", "frat brother", "hassle", "pitchspoon" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-16", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to tell his mother about work, but she doesn't want to hear.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's Mom" ], "keywords": [ "work", "story", "boring", "interest", "hurt", "electrical impulse", "agony", "air gap", "insult" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-17", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "The Boss and Catbert are happy to hear the job market is getting worse.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "job market", "worse", "newspaper", "afraid", "abuse", "evil dance", "laugh" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss taunts Dilbert the job market is getting worse, so it's hard to leave.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "job market", "work", "unemployed", "leader", "say it", "who's your daddy" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-19", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells the Boss an easy way to create a strategy -- add the phrase \"increase our market share by...\" to everything.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "strategy", "increase our market share by...", "sell", "advice" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-20", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks his cubicle neighbour to turn down the loud music.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "loud music", "concentrate", "complain", "nuts", "shy", "creep" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-21", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice asks Asok to come to an important meeting across the bridge.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "bridge", "car", "carpool lane", "intern", "invitation" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-22", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets a new haircut and asks the opinion of Dogbert and Ratbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "haircut", "opinion", "gargantuan", "mistake", "fright", "bruise", "fruit", "froze up" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-23", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert creates a schematic diagram of the office politics in his company.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "schematic", "ruin", "career", "rumour", "yoga class", "ethics", "circuit", "quit", "charisma", "diagram", "test" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-24", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dilbert calls in a problem with network service to his home and has to deal with incompetence.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "computer", "network", "e-mail", "web", "service", "telephone", "accounting information" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-25", "subject": "Technology", "saga": "The Boss wants to be cloned.", "synopsis": "The Boss comes to Dilbert because he wants a brilliant employee to be his assistant manager.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "brilliant employee", "assistant manager", "clone", "nice thing" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-26", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains the Boss wants himself cloned.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ming", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "clone", "request", "soul", "if", "doubt", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-27", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to talk the Boss out of cloning himself because it's illegal.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "clone", "illegal", "human", "cop", "frame", "crime", "wrong", "blame" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-28", "subject": "Ethics", "synopsis": "The Garbageman says cloning the Boss may be either normal or an abomination.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Garbageman" ], "keywords": [ "clone", "soulless abomination", "normal", "irrelevant", "original", "truck", "trashcan", "sunglasses" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-29", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Using the Garbageman's cloning machine, Dilbert prepares to clone the Boss.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "operation", "theatre", "clone", "hurt", "machine button", "eager", "surgical mask" ] }, { "date": "2001-09-30", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert comes upon some slow walking women in a hallway and tries to get around them.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice", "slow walking woman" ], "keywords": [ "hallway", "etiquette", "slow walking women", "squeeze", "throw", "go around" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-01", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells the Boss there's a problem with the clone -- Wally spilled soda on the DNA.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "clone", "problem", "hospital", "recovery", "spill", "soda", "horse posterior", "DNA" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-02", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss's clone is not all that everyone expected. He's very short and mostly a horse's posterior.", "characters": [ "Boss clone", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "clone", "procedure", "problem", "human", "knickknack", "mutant", "god" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-03", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants the Boss to implement a six sigma program.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "six sigma", "program", "doom", "TQM", "different name" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-04", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains to the meeting the six sigma program will increase company profits.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "six sigma", "profit", "consultant", "downturn", "flat growth", "meeting", "increase" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-05", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert begins teaching the six sigma course and puts everyone to sleep.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Asok", "Wally", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "six sigma", "consultant", "selfish", "training", "dimwit", "meeting", "process", "sleep" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-06", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "The first step in the six sigma process is to identify problems, Dogbert says.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Alice", "Asok", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "six sigma", "consultant", "meeting", "step", "problem identification", "fist of death", "belt" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss gives Alice twenty one-year service pins instead of a twenty-year pin, even though she's only been there for six years.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "service anniversary", "twenty-year pin", "card", "fist of death", "older" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The CEO slashed his own pay down to four million dollars per year, the Boss reports.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "pay cut", "slash", "voluntary", "written statement", "share the pain", "underpants", "sandwich bag" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-09", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Dogbert his dream of being a teacher, so he can educate the leaders of tomorrow.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "teacher", "career", "educate", "leader of tomorrow", "moron", "doughnut", "dream", "crush", "bathrobe", "breakfast" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-10", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert tells Carl contractors are not allowed to breathe company air.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Carl", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "contractor", "breathe", "air", "supply", "understand", "light", "scuba gear" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-11", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carl the contractor to use less company resources.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carl" ], "keywords": [ "contractor", "company resources", "breathing apparatus", "gravity", "hover", "scuba gear" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss tasks Anne with a deliverable. She complains task is not a verb.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Anne L. Retentive" ], "keywords": [ "task", "deliverable", "verb", "world", "falling apart", "timeline", "project" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-13", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Asok reports someone keeps unplugging the server, thus causing network outages.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "discover", "meeting", "presentation", "network outage", "idiot", "unplug", "server", "waitress", "noise" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-14", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol to say he's in a meeting, any meeting. She invents something embarrassing.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "secretary", "meeting", "telephone", "vague", "morons anonymous", "shoe-sniffing contest", "chair", "instructions", "pandemonium" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-15", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert becomes a stock market expert to recommend stocks.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "stock market expert", "recommend", "fundamentals" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-16", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert prepares to go on television as a stock market expert.", "characters": [ "floor director", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "stock market expert", "television", "microphone", "camera", "wag", "tail", "recommend", "honest work", "television camera" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-17", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert, the stock market expert, recommends stocks but the television host is sceptical.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ron", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "stock market expert", "television", "house", "P\/E", "track record", "recommend", "chart", "television camera", "suspenders", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-18", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert speaks in incomprehensible jargon as a stock market expert on a television show.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ron" ], "keywords": [ "stock market expert", "television", "core holding", "dollar cost average", "dead cat bounce", "cash allocation", "falling knife", "economic model", "churn", "learn", "suspenders", "laptop computer" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-19", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Catbert asks the Boss to have a company meeting about layoffs. He get hostile questions.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "all-company meeting", "layoff", "hostile question", "newspaper", "trail of slime", "slither", "podium", "microphone" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-20", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "At a company meeting, the Boss takes questions about the layoffs.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "layoff", "question", "all-company meeting", "odour", "DNA", "rodent", "snake", "weasel" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-21", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Catbert tells the Boss the employees have realised there are no raises this year.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Asok", "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "raise", "profit", "rational", "tyranny", "delicate balance", "attitude", "performance", "dipweed", "downsize", "guess" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-22", "subject": "Accounting", "saga": "Dilbert visits the accounting trolls during budget season.", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to explain a charge.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "troll" ], "keywords": [ "explain", "charge", "budget season", "headless", "entrance", "wooden door", "decapitate" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-23", "subject": "Accounting", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks an accounting troll for an explanation of the numbers. They send him away.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "troll" ], "keywords": [ "explain", "number", "budget season", "spit", "data", "send away", "95%", "body" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-24", "subject": "Accounting", "synopsis": "Larry, the accounting troll, spits on Dilbert's data.", "characters": [ "troll", "Dilbert", "Larry" ], "keywords": [ "data", "spit", "ptoo", "tour", "department" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-25", "subject": "Accounting", "synopsis": "The accounting department's random number generator spits out all nines, Dilbert learns.", "characters": [ "troll", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "tour", "random number generator", "nine", "sure", "problem", "spit" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-26", "subject": "Accounting", "synopsis": "The accounting troll tells of his transformation from a human to a troll.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "troll" ], "keywords": [ "change", "transform", "rock", "hair", "gym", "horn", "tail", "realise", "look" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-27", "subject": "Accounting", "synopsis": "The accounting troll shows Dilbert a list of people who will change into trolls.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "troll", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "change", "transform", "unaware", "list", "wait", "pimple", "horn", "I know something you don't know" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-28", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Catbert tells a psychologist about his obsessions: being evil and jumping on small objects that fall to the floor.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "psychologist" ], "keywords": [ "director", "human resources", "evil", "appearance", "hag", "quack", "fall", "jump", "eat", "hungry", "psycho", "eraser debris" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-29", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert his telephone turns into a talking clock after midnight.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "home telephone", "talking clock", "midnight", "teach", "3:14", "idiot", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-30", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Ming describes her thought processes in detail to Dilbert in the lunch room.", "characters": [ "Ming", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "circuit design", "notice", "bug", "mention", "psychic", "out loud", "thought", "conversation", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2001-10-31", "subject": "Personnel", "saga": "Asok is Catbert's assistant", "synopsis": "The Boss assigns Asok to work for Catbert while his assistant recovers.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "secondment", "assistant", "recover", "cold", "flu", "evil", "soul", "winged demon" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-01", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert is out of kitty litter so he asks Asok to shred resumes.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "kitty litter", "resume", "gather", "shredder", "match", "opening" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-02", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Asok handles harassment complaints. Wally complains about Alice checking out his caboose.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "assignment", "harassment", "complaint", "eyes", "caboose", "psychic", "pal", "eye" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-03", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert wants to eliminate vacation days and increase sick days so employees will be sick to get days off.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "eliminate", "vacation", "sick day", "employee", "trap", "evil" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants Alice to spend more time in her cubicle to make the department look more productive.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "time", "cubicle", "productive", "priority", "important", "raise", "project", "flounder", "blank", "paper" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-05", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert suggests adding a feature to the product and a co-worker twists his words.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "product", "feature", "useful", "Earth", "change", "bizarre absolute" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-06", "subject": "Health", "saga": "Wally's yoga class", "synopsis": "Wally signed up for a yoga class, he tells Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "yoga class", "harmony", "balance", "fail", "stare", "stretchy women" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-07", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Wally has lost two pounds since he signed up for a yoga class, he tells Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "lose weight", "yoga class", "sick", "prodigy", "weight loss" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-08", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Wally looks different since he started his yoga class, Alice tells Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "look", "yoga class", "Yoda", "Star Wars", "suspicious" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-09", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces a town hall meeting, with questions prepared in advance.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "town hall", "meeting", "communication", "questions in advance" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-10", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "Asok wins an attendance award, but Carol misspells his name.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "win", "prestigious award", "attendance", "misspell", "obscenity", "typo" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-11", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Ted he is downsized but not for the usual reasons of doing a bad job or his function being eliminated.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "bad job", "complicate", "essential function", "eliminate", "marketing", "trade show", "booth", "potential", "cost reduction", "telephone list", "e-mail attachment", "whiner" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to fire an employee and hire him back as a contractor, the opposite of what happened last week.", "characters": [ "Boss", "employee" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "goal", "revenue per employee", "contractor", "fire", "hire", "cheese moved" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-13", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert hires a new employee with excellent psychological profile test results.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Psycho Hillbilly", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "psychological profile", "test results", "excellent", "employee handbook", "weekend", "gentle biker", "look", "knife", "beard", "shirtless", "eye" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-14", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok meets the psycho hillbilly, a network design engineer who dresses with a theme.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Psycho Hillbilly" ], "keywords": [ "gaaa", "introduction", "network design engineer", "theme", "dress", "crazy old coot", "knife", "beard", "shirtless" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-15", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally and the psycho hillbilly compare dress themes.", "characters": [ "Psycho Hillbilly", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "preppy", "biker", "heart of gold", "theme", "knife", "beard", "shirtless" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-16", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Asok will be moving from a handicapped stall to a storage facility because of his raise.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "move", "raise", "home", "handicapped stall", "storage facility", "housewarming gift", "flashlight", "kind", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-17", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Asok asks for a day off to move. The Boss offers an hour instead.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "move", "day off", "negotiate", "hour", "try", "vehicle" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Tina must use the corporate approved font, but cannot get approval to purchase the software.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "corporate approved font", "communications department", "budget freeze", "software", "Danville font", "performance evaluation", "mandatory", "ding", "binge eating", "sob", "cubicle", "negativity" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-19", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Dilbert shuts down the Elbonian mud delivery business", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to go to Elbonia to shut down their mud delivery business.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "shut down", "mud delivery", "stockholder", "profit", "illegal", "optimism" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-20", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Dogbert that he will be shutting down their Elbonian mud delivery business.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "travel", "suitcase", "pack", "engineer", "analyse", "business model", "mud delivery", "fix", "attention" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-21", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "Dilbert talks with Elbonians about why their mud delivery business is failing.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "mud delivery", "Elbonia", "economic slowdown", "dot-com meltdown", "fudge", "sell" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-22", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "An Elbonian describes how they diversified from mud delivery to pet grooming and lingerie.", "characters": [ "Elbonian", "Dogbert", "Elbonian pig" ], "keywords": [ "business plan", "mud", "offering", "pet grooming", "lingerie", "ad agency", "pig in lingerie", "Elbonia", "advertising" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-23", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "An Elbonian describes the mud manufacturing process, using bottled water and bags of fertile soil.", "characters": [ "Elbonian", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "manufacture mud", "bottled water", "bags of fertile soil", "demand", "bottled air", "moron", "Elbonia" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-24", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "Dilbert gives severance pay to the Elbonians when he shuts down their mud delivery business.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "severance pay", "rich", "motivation", "slogan", "Elbonian" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-25", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The Boss announces they've been acquired by a foreign company, but it's a merger of equals.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "acquisition", "foreign", "dominate", "merger", "equal", "CEO", "leader", "giant", "psychic", "pain", "blind", "worry" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-26", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert Airlines", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells Dilbert he will start an airline with no planes.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert Airlines", "airline", "plane", "money", "waiting room", "ex-cons", "luggage", "mechanical difficulties", "tool", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-27", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "A passenger complains to Dogbert he's been waiting 35 hours for his flight.", "characters": [ "passenger", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert Airlines", "airline", "flight", "computer", "delay", "weather", "direct sunlight", "plane" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-28", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert announces yet another flight delay at Dogbert Airlines.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert Airlines", "airline", "PA system", "traveller", "hub", "south pole", "permafrost", "primitive society", "terminal", "Dogbert Miles" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-29", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert appears before a congressional hearing because of inhumane service.", "characters": [ "congressman", "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert Airlines", "airline", "accusation", "congressional hearing", "inhumane service", "paw", "bah", "hab", "take it back", "microphone" ] }, { "date": "2001-11-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss thinks aloud. Much incoherence.", "characters": [ "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "think aloud", "cost", "focus", "monkeys are funny", "tongue", "digest", "mouth", "help", "hope" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-01", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Ted is fired and requests to live in his cubicle.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "fired", "rent", "live", "cubicle", "fire", "cannibal", "regret" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-02", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Friday is the cruelest day of the week for layoffs, so that's when it will happen.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert", "Dilbert", "Wally", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "layoff", "Friday", "cruel", "employee appreciation day", "congratulate", "month", "orgasm" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-03", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Wally reports his accomplishments for the week: scheduling a meeting.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "status meeting", "conference room", "schedule", "accomplishment", "mill around", "gave up", "confuse", "Wally Report" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol to book the conference room every day for the next year.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "reserve", "conference room", "sociopath", "idea", "slow" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells the Boss how to use his time more efficiently: prioritise tasks into two lists, high and low.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "time management", "priority", "list", "kill", "loser" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-06", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "A salesman gives Dilbert a gift that's slightly over the limit of what Dilbert is allowed to accept.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "salesman", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "gift", "value", "rule", "worth", "accept", "present" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-07", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "The Boss threatens to fire Asok if he criticises the government.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "free speech", "criticise", "government", "fire", "enjoy", "pastry", "free country", "doughnut" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-08", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert advises the Boss to hire people who won't threaten him, and offers the services of his recruitment agency.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "hire", "threat", "Dogbert Recruitment Agency", "placement", "clueless", "bad hair", "cadaver", "brochure" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-09", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss shows everyone the Teamwork Football, to symbolise their commitment to teamwork.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "teamwork football", "symbol", "commitment", "carry", "meeting", "customer", "vacation", "coffee", "desk drawer", "golf ball" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-10", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Creative design training", "synopsis": "The Boss announces they've hired a design firm in hopes of copying their methods.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "hire", "innovation", "design firm", "observe", "method", "steal", "secret", "easel", "meeting" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-11", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "In a creativity exercise, the teams make devices, most better than Dilbert and his team.", "characters": [ "instructor", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "creativity exercise", "team", "air to electricity", "missile defence laser", "scissors holder", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-12", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "The design training continues where the team will make insightful observations from the brainstorming notes.", "characters": [ "instructor", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "odd-shape", "foam", "sit", "design process", "brainstorming", "insightful observation", "yellow", "engineer", "sweet jeepers" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-13", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "The design training continues where the team will design and make a mock-up. Dilbert questions who dominates the team.", "characters": [ "instructor", "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "team", "design", "build", "mock up", "exercise", "dominate", "worst", "suggestion" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-14", "subject": "Office Services", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to use a photocopier but must supply his own paper.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "secretary", "web designer" ], "keywords": [ "copier", "broken", "paper", "office", "mile", "unleash", "hound", "web designer", "tight labour market", "ear", "disguise" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-15", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Dilbert arrives for the meeting and wonders who called it.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ted", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "call", "issue", "assign", "task", "waste of time", "lifeform", "reproduce", "human hosts" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-16", "subject": "Telecommuting", "synopsis": "Wally asks the Boss if he can telecommute one day a week. The Boss says okay, but only if Wally wears an uncomfortable hat.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "work", "home", "unhappy", "uncomfortable hat", "extreme", "joke", "purple" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-17", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Tina looks for volunteers to serve food to the homeless on Christmas day.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "sign up", "volunteer", "food", "homeless", "Christmas day", "hungry", "PR firm", "news crew" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-18", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "The Boss announces a survey says compensation at this company is competitive.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "survey", "compensation", "competitive", "work", "pay", "meeting" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-19", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Wally he has not achieved any of his written objectives.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "fail", "written objectives", "achievement", "chance", "hidden", "project", "smother", "defective" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-20", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss transfers Dilbert to Elbonia because the cubicle-moving budget is shot.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Elbonian", "Dilbert", "Elbonian pig" ], "keywords": [ "move", "cubicle", "budget", "transfer", "Elbonia", "relocation", "mail", "shot", "tin can", "string" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-21", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert asks Dilbert to sign an anti-war petition.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "petition", "anti-war", "signature", "sell", "give", "clipboard", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-22", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert shows his anti-war petition to Bob.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "document", "important", "hold", "petition", "war", "Nobel Peace prize", "drink", "trade", "clipboard" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-23", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice to use her vacation time by the end of the year. She cannot, because she must finish her project.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "vacation", "end of the year", "project", "solution", "engineer", "home", "computer", "network", "access", "dangle" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-24", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert worries he may not be doing enough to enhance stockholder value.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "feel guilty", "enhance", "stockholder value", "glug", "chug coffee", "empty pot" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-25", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Dilbert why he hasn't responded to an e-mail.", "characters": [ "co-worker", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "answer", "message", "poorly written", "understand", "dare", "dialogue", "boss" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss to approve an expense for equipment that has already been installed.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "approval", "expense", "equipment", "install", "description", "understand", "fine line", "useless" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-27", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "A new twist on \"if you give a man a fish he will eat for a day.\"", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "give", "fish", "eat", "teach", "ugly hat", "talk", "consultant", "starving" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss sends an e-mail to Alice about wanting to talk with her.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "copy", "message", "tell", "voicemail", "fax", "talk", "redundant", "communication" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says Alice's working hard, evenings and weekends has finally paid off.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "hard work", "night", "weekend", "paying off", "forecast", "demand", "wild guess" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss gives Dilbert an urgent assignment but Dilbert can't read his handwriting.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "assignment", "urgent", "handwriting", "question", "call", "odour", "windy day", "vanish", "floog smort qlak munta hawthnort", "monkey", "duct tape", "phantom manager" ] }, { "date": "2001-12-31", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol to put together a morale boosting event.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "event", "morale", "boost", "CPR", "mummy", "meeting", "sarcasm" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-01", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Dilbert puts together a bid proposal", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to put together a winning bid for a contract. Dilbert says he will read the minds of competitors.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "bid", "win", "contract", "telepathy", "read minds", "low bid", "block", "dense mass" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-02", "subject": "Contract", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for an estimate of administrative overhead for the bid proposal he is putting together.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "cost", "estimate", "bid", "proposal", "billion dollars", "administrative overhead", "lose", "win", "less work" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-03", "subject": "Contract", "synopsis": "Dilbert hands in his cost estimates to the Boss. The Boss says he ignores cost estimates anyway.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "bid", "estimate", "pad", "liar", "scoundrel", "ashamed", "ignore", "proposal", "inaccurate data", "glass", "half full", "optimism" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-04", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice wins the \"Name the Restroom\" contest with \"Goddesses\" and \"Morons.\"", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "winner", "name the restrooms", "contest", "goddesses", "morons", "suggestion", "only entry" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-05", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Asok arrives late to a meeting suffering from burns and cuts after his cubicle caught fire.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "late", "fire", "burn", "mission statement", "paperweight", "cubicle", "sun", "douse", "quality", "mug", "shard", "injury", "scorch" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-06", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert goes over a seemingly endless list of problems with the project.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "manager", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "slow start", "reorganisation", "merger", "layoff", "budget freeze", "relocation", "strategy", "opportunity", "best practises", "imply", "CEO", "consultant" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-07", "subject": "Downsizing", "saga": "Dilbert is downsized and becomes a waiter", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert he will be downsized in ninety days.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "project", "cancel", "ninety days", "wander", "zombie", "walk among them" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-08", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Dilbert is given projects to finish before he is downsized even though it means interacting with people who know he will be gone.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "project", "finish", "interact", "information", "soon", "laugh" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-09", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains to a woman he is unemployed and drives an electric car.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "party", "drink", "unemployed", "electric car", "abs", "romantic", "long shot", "turn on" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-10", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Dilbert considers growing a beard while he is unemployed.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "beard", "unemployed", "idea", "message", "shopping cart", "filthy rag", "polka-dot underwear" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-11", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert considers becoming a waiter until he can get a job as an engineer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "waiter" ], "keywords": [ "waiter", "job", "unemployed", "engineer", "qualified", "wait tables", "hard", "manager", "slap drunk", "bathrobe", "balance", "apron", "restaurant" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-12", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert interviews for becoming a waiter.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Stacey" ], "keywords": [ "unemployed", "waiter", "apply", "abusive drunk", "customer", "kindness", "shield", "tablecloth", "manager", "restaurant" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss tries to find an \"Engineer of the Year\", who is willing to fly to New York and accept a trophy.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Asok", "Wally", "Carol", "marketeer" ], "keywords": [ "engineer of the year", "New York", "trophy", "project", "critical", "flatter", "sick day", "pretend", "marketing", "party", "booze" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-14", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert waits on a table and falls for a beautiful woman.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman in restaurant", "husband" ], "keywords": [ "waiter", "server", "beautiful", "grandfather", "husband", "special", "restaurant", "apron" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-15", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Dogbert he has been fired as a waiter at a restaurant.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "waiter", "server", "soup", "thumb", "scream", "spray", "blame", "stupid" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-16", "subject": "Professional", "saga": "Dilbert the salesman", "synopsis": "Catbert hires Dilbert back, but in Sales.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "hire", "worst", "anything but sales", "train", "lie", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-17", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Dilbert attends sales training. The instructor says a salesperson can sell anything to anybody.", "characters": [ "trainer", "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "sales training", "proof", "roadkill", "class", "hat" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-18", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "The sales trainer says a good sale is like a good wedgie.", "characters": [ "trainer", "Dilbert", "volunteer" ], "keywords": [ "sales training", "act", "wedgie", "victim", "surprise", "demonstration", "volunteer" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-19", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "The customer should sell to the salesman, the sales trainer explains.", "characters": [ "trainer", "Dilbert", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "sales training", "customer", "product", "worthy", "goober", "beg" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-20", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "The Boss wants help moving to a new home.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "move", "new house", "heavy objects", "help", "career", "professional", "money", "system", "trailer", "mobile home" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-21", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells a customer he will talk to her every day in case she changes her mind.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "talk", "every day", "change your mind", "cross", "sales", "stalk", "brochure" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-22", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Dilbert's Mom refuses to buy from Dilbert even with his money.", "characters": [ "Dilbert's Mom", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "reluctant", "buy", "money", "overpriced", "hard to use", "buggy", "spit", "package" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-23", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Dilbert the sales guy gives his business card to a customer. None of the information is correct.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "business card", "information", "correct", "money", "clout", "shut up" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert begs the Boss to be transferred back to engineering.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "transfer", "sales", "engineer", "pay cut", "free", "appreciate", "shoe shine" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-25", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The new guy, M.T. Suit, introduces himself to Dilbert.", "characters": [ "M.T. Suit", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "empty suit", "enhance core competency", "leveraging platforms", "shake hands" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-26", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The new guy, M.T. Suit, introduces himself at a meeting.", "characters": [ "M.T. Suit", "Boss", "Alice", "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "empty suit", "substance", "style", "compensate", "buzzword", "meeting", "solution", "product" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-27", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "The sales guy says the latest ad campaign was a huge success, but did not track the increase in sales.", "characters": [ "sales guy", "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "ad campaign", "success", "track sales", "buzz", "e-mail", "message", "topic", "invitation", "engineer", "laptop computer" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-28", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Wally he will be downsized as soon as he finishes his project.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "project", "professional", "delay", "unnecessary", "timeliness", "surpass", "passion", "quality" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-29", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Man-hating supervisor", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Dilbert to his new supervisor, the man hater.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "man hater", "supervisor", "hire", "angry women", "pantsuit", "turned on", "decisive", "coffee", "head" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The man-hating supervisor puts Alice in charge of the project.", "characters": [ "man-hating supervisor", "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "supervisor", "man hater", "in charge", "project", "coffee", "fly", "grow", "nice" ] }, { "date": "2002-01-31", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The man-hating supervisor asks the men to justify their pay.", "characters": [ "man-hating supervisor", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "supervisor", "man hater", "justify", "pay", "meeting", "all day", "door" ] }, { "date": "2002-02-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The man-hating supervisor fires Asok for being a man. Asok rejoices in being called a man.", "characters": [ "man-hating supervisor", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "supervisor", "man hater", "fire", "man", "enjoy" ] }, { "date": "2002-02-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The man-hating supervisor asks the Boss why her abuse of the engineers has no effect.", "characters": [ "man-hating supervisor", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "supervisor", "man hater", "oblivious", "abuse", "self-respect", "vial", "storage room", "yell", "quit" ] }, { "date": "2002-02-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss explains the company will no longer provide free soda. No one else knew about the free soda.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Asok", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "budget", "constraint", "free soda", "refrigerator", "break room", "replenish", "stolen" ] }, { "date": "2002-02-04", "subject": "Tech Support", "saga": "Dogbert's holistic tech support", "synopsis": "Dogbert, in tech support, tells someone their software is worn out because they are typing too hard.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "software", "worn out", "typing", "decaf", "paint", "wall", "pink", "gym", "holistic", "read", "telephone headset" ] }, { "date": "2002-02-05", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dogbert, in tech support, recommends stuffing tree bark in a CD drive.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "holistic", "all natural", "stuff", "tree bark", "CD drive", "meditation", "damage", "telephone headset" ] }, { "date": "2002-02-06", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dogbert, in tech support, recommends spinal adjustments for a power cord to prevent computer viruses.", "characters": [ "woman", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "holistic", "computer virus", "avoid", "power cord", "spinal adjustment", "disease", "prevention", "skeptic", "anecdotal evidence", "telephone headset" ] }, { "date": "2002-02-07", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Asok works all weekend to get rid of bugs in the database. The Boss tells him to put the bugs back in.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "work all weekend", "bug", "database", "look bad", "apathy", "teach", "strong desire", "learn" ] }, { "date": "2002-02-08", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Dilbert says he just had a good meeting. Dogbert says maybe that's because it was short.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "good", "bad", "short", "reveal", "incompetence", "attendee" ] }, { "date": "2002-02-09", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert explains he got rid of the Marketing department and they now have lots of non-dairy creamer.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "marketing", "bad news", "good news", "non-dairy creamer", "cut back" ] }, { "date": "2002-02-10", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains their network can't handle the extra traffic. The Boss says he heard the network has infinite capacity.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Doug", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "network", "traffic", "opinion", "hard data", "logic", "usage", "science", "capacity", "budget", "project", "funding", "potato", "po-tay-to", "po-tah-to", "weasel" ] }, { "date": "2002-02-11", "subject": "Corporate Services", "saga": "Fish bowl meeting room", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to reserve the fish bowl for a meeting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "conference room", "reservation", "lobby", "glass walls", "fish bowl", "attractive", "scare", "tribunal", "secretary" ] }, { "date": "2002-02-12", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "The tribunal of admin assistants convenes to decide if Dilbert is attractive enough to use the fish bowl for a meeting.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "tribunal", "administrative assistant", "attractive", "fish bowl", "conference room", "verdict", "secretary" ] }, { "date": "2002-02-13", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Carol says Dilbert is not attractive enough to use the fish bowl conference room.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "tribunal", "decision", "administrative assistant", "fish bowl", "appeal", "judgement" ] }, { "date": "2002-02-14", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The project has been outsourced to reduce development costs, the Boss announces at a meeting.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "development cost", "outsource", "proposal", "hourly rate", "contract", "not specified" ] }, { "date": "2002-02-15", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "The Boss congratulates Dogbert for finishing the project on time and below the estimate.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "project", "estimate", "finish", "changes", "hourly fee", "contract", "wag" ] }, { "date": "2002-02-16", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert his trip has been cancelled because the budget is gone.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "trip", "cancel", "budget", "call centre", "contact centre", "training", "ignorant" ] }, { "date": "2002-02-17", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Ted asks Wally for an opinion about taking a voluntary severance package and starting an edible kite company.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "advice", "layoff", "package", "retirement", "kite", "waffle", "opinion", "idea", "double", "edible", "quality", "score" ] }, { "date": "2002-02-18", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Design a nuclear power plant", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to design the world's safest nuclear power plant.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "design", "safe", "nuclear power plant", "assignment", "engineer", "flatter", "trust", "NIMBY" ] }, { "date": "2002-02-19", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The engineers decide on the location for the new nuclear power plant.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Elbonian", "Elbonian pig", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "design", "nuclear power plant", "assignment", "Elbonia", "safe", "cheerful", "slave labour" ] }, { "date": "2002-02-20", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The engineers start the nuclear power plant design process by gathering customer requirements.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Asok", "man" ], "keywords": [ "design", "nuclear power plant", "process", "phase one", "requirements", "electricity", "mutation", "X-ray vision", "laptop computer" ] }, { "date": "2002-02-21", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The engineers brainstorm how to get electricity from the Elbonian power plant to local toasters.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Asok", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "electricity", "nuclear power plant", "Elbonia", "toaster", "brainstorm", "judge", "idea", "barge", "porpoise" ] }, { "date": "2002-02-22", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows a working model of the nuclear power plant to the Boss.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "working model", "nuclear power plant", "prototype", "cost", "attaboy", "certificate", "printer", "paper", "prototype" ] }, { "date": "2002-02-23", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert is in Elbonia to oversee the construction of the nuclear power plant.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "construction", "oversee", "Elbonia", "nuclear power plant", "security", "uranium", "pig", "eat", "director" ] }, { "date": "2002-02-24", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert and the Boss argue over how long it will take to upgrade all the network servers. The Boss summons Kronos, the god of time management.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Kronos" ], "keywords": [ "upgrade", "network server", "impossible", "god of time management", "perception", "time", "weasel", "status report", "wand", "summon" ] }, { "date": "2002-02-25", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally says he found a coffee stain in the shape of a man's face.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Tina", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "coffee stain", "carpet", "face", "miracle", "sign", "end of time", "squirrel", "body", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2002-02-26", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Ming if her numbers are accurate. She interprets it as a personal attack.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ming" ], "keywords": [ "number", "accurate", "low", "attack", "stop", "apologise", "hate your guts" ] }, { "date": "2002-02-27", "subject": "Work Avoidance", "synopsis": "Wally tells Asok to not do a task in the first week because most tasks become unnecessary during that time.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "assignment", "week", "The Wally Period", "unnecessary", "non-work" ] }, { "date": "2002-02-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss puts Asok on a self-mentoring program, where he can ask himself any question.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "special", "self mentor", "program", "question", "non-monetary reward" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-01", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Dilbert demonstrates some things they can't do.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "demonstration", "can't do", "better", "meaning", "life", "laptop computer" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss is in a bad mood so he does some recreational criticising.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "bad mood", "criticise", "employee", "recreation", "e-mail", "chimp" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-03", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Dogbert for career advice: stay in his comfortable job or get a better job with longer hours and a bad commute.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "career", "advice", "comfortable job", "growth potential", "commute", "self-loathing", "vise", "peach", "problem", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-04", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The Boss asks why everyone is always late for his staff meetings.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "late", "stupid stuff", "finest work", "notice" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-05", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Tina asks about the current severance package.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "severance package", "transfer", "quit", "give notice" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-06", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert confronts Tina about complaints about her hostile behaviour.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "complain", "hostile", "behaviour", "body language", "cold", "eyebrows" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-07", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Tina tries very hard to avoid any hostile body language.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "hostile", "body language", "accusation", "cross arms", "move eyebrows", "frown", "nice day" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-08", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "The Boss gives an urgent assignment to Carol. She adds it to her compost drawer.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "urgent", "compost", "drawer" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-09", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss distributes buttons to the engineers that say \"I'm empowered.\" Asok refuses to wear it.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "button", "empowerment", "force", "life", "package" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-10", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally insults the Boss while pretending to talk on his hands-free phone.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "hands-free", "telephone", "ignorant maggot", "disgust", "face transplant", "baboon", "moron", "crud", "personal call", "insult", "company time" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-11", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert's extends the project time estimate with an incompetence multiplier and a lying weasel factor.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "perfect world", "time estimate", "incompetence multiplier", "history", "lying weasel factor", "LWF" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "An employee asks the Boss for permission to hold prayer services in the conference room.", "characters": [ "priest", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "permission", "prayer services", "conference room", "blood", "clean", "ambitious plan", "brain wash", "curly hat" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-13", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Dilbert to Medical Mel, who will be making loud personal calls all day.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Medical Mel" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "neighbour", "loud", "personal call", "squishy sound", "bandage", "eye patch" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-14", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert overhears Medical Mel talking about his latest injection from a needle four feet long.", "characters": [ "Medical Mel", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "needle", "cubicle", "neighbour", "pencil", "doctor", "Olympic javelin champion", "nickname", "Shishkabob", "bandage", "eye patch" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Asok fills out his skills inventory. Wally says the information is used to transfer people to jobs they don't want.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "skills inventory", "transfer", "job", "check box", "hazmat", "stupid" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-16", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "Ming tells the Boss the budget numbers are down. The Boss says they should reorganise the department to improve the outlook.", "characters": [ "Ming", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "numbers are down", "reorganise", "history", "comparison", "downsize", "fire", "award", "el diablo" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Catbert how to maintain the illusion of an open door policy without actually having one.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert", "Dilbert", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "open door policy", "complain", "morale", "illusion", "body language", "protective bubble", "scowl", "stress", "input" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol to organise a survey about why the morale is low.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "survey", "morale", "monkey", "zoo", "problem", "fling", "repeat" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-19", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains in detail his theory of consciousness.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "theory", "consciousness", "predict", "observe", "action", "result", "computer", "sensor", "array", "data", "boring", "sleep" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-20", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert puts Dilbert on a strict \"need to know\" basis.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "need to know", "crawl space", "house", "news", "six months", "believe", "remote control", "secret" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-21", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "An Elbonian comes to Dogbert regarding his classified ad for a nuclear warhead.", "characters": [ "Elbonian", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "classified ad", "nuclear warhead", "Russia", "menace", "third-world country", "slingshot" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-22", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "The Elbonians announce they will test their new nuclear warhead to frighten Kneebonia, their neighbours.", "characters": [ "news reader", "Elbonian", "Kneebonian" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "nuclear power", "Kneebonia", "plan", "test", "warhead", "match", "television", "border" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-23", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "After receiving a badly worded and spelled e-mail from the Boss, Dilbert and Wally want to demonstrate to their friends what an idiot they work for.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "spelling", "friend", "idiot", "flatter" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says the company is dying. It's because they're not customer centric; nothing to do with bad management, of course.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "customer centric", "problem", "identify", "participation", "working group", "skit", "electricity" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss gives Ted a high-pressure choice: be restructured, repurposed or reassigned.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ted", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "restructure", "repurpose", "reassign", "decide", "pressure", "panic", "volunteer", "quit" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-26", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "The Boss want to know why the toothpaste company can't pipe their product to houses like the water company can.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "water company", "pipe", "toothpaste", "faucet", "pudding", "meteor" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-27", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "A sales person says they're the least expensive unless requirements change in mid-project.", "characters": [ "sales person", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "expensive", "vendor", "requirements", "fire", "bid", "change order", "outplacement service", "brochure" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says everything must be justified by ROI.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "justify", "ROI", "return on investment", "policy", "answer", "from now on" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-29", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The Boss says either everyone gets a 20% pay cut or one of the engineers must be downsized.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Tina", "Asok", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "pay cut", "family", "point", "promise" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "A manager asks Dorie to send an e-mail asking people stay longer.", "characters": [ "manager", "Dorie" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "early", "car", "parking lot", "after hours", "heads will roll", "menacing pose" ] }, { "date": "2002-03-31", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "The Boss gives Alice a raise because of her superior performance. There's a catch, though, it's not effective right away.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "superior", "raise", "effective", "budget", "increase", "approval", "economy", "profit", "retroactive", "fist of death" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says business is down and the employees should know what to do.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "business", "down", "finish", "appear", "surplus", "employee", "admit", "wrong", "know" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss realises Wally's weekly status report is simply buzzwords strung together. Wally says it's been the same for eleven years.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "status report", "buzzword", "strung together", "week", "adopt", "mission statement" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-03", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces an inspirational speaker who was a famous athlete until he ruined his life with booze and drugs.", "characters": [ "Boss", "inspirational speaker", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "speaker", "famous", "athlete", "drugs", "booze", "ruin", "shank hew vewy mush", "inspirational", "drunk" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-04", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert announces after three years, they're still talking about project requirements, and he thinks it's a problem.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "anniversary", "meeting", "requirements", "problem", "three year" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-05", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dogbert, on a tech support call, says the process works fine on his PC.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert's tech support", "works fine here", "PC", "problem", "defective", "selfish", "attractive", "package", "telephone headset" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss sends out the safety tip of the day: bend your knees when you bang your head against the wall.", "characters": [ "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "safety tip of the day", "bend", "knees", "bang", "head", "wall", "art", "science" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-07", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "A tech support caller complains about the printer ejecting a blank page after every document.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "customer", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "abuse", "printer", "page", "blank", "paper", "silk", "complain", "quality", "lousy", "accept", "change", "telephone headset" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss promotes Dilbert to more work with the same pay and title.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "promotion", "more work", "pay", "title", "smile", "good news", "scare" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-09", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The engineers brag about how many hours they worked last week.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "hours", "week", "brag", "upmanship", "nothing", "pattern", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-10", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "Carol calls to request a good looking copier repair guy.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "copier", "repair guy", "good looking", "tin can", "egg carton", "flirt", "joy", "paper jam" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-11", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "Carol describes how the copier repair guy should look: tall, non-smoker, well-defined abs.", "characters": [ "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "copier", "repair guy", "tall", "non-smoker", "abs", "dating service", "money", "semantics", "shave", "oil" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-12", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert says the online self-assessment survey won't let him leave the \"areas for improvement\" part blank.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "online", "self assessment", "survey", "improvement", "blank", "steal", "check box", "grin" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-13", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "A woman at a party asks Dilbert if he is a manager. Dilbert says he is an individual contributor.", "characters": [ "woman", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "manager", "individual contributor", "job description", "ant", "glass", "party", "wine" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-14", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The important decision makers meet to discuss important strategies.", "characters": [ "Boss", "manager", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "decision makers", "strategy", "little people", "Project Opal", "intuition", "daughter", "budget", "secret" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wastes more of Alice's time. She keeps a running tally of how much.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "weekend", "clean", "tool shed", "running tally", "time", "waste", "frozen snake", "shovel", "stopwatch" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-16", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A sentence finisher finishes all of Dilbert's sentences at a meeting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "the sentence finisher" ], "keywords": [ "money", "orphan", "sack", "alibi", "finish", "accuracy", "annoy" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-17", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Wally makes a camouflage suit to blend in with the cubicle walls.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "camouflage suit", "background", "cubicle wall", "fabric", "mask", "tie", "material", "startle" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains to the Boss his new assignment isn't useful. It's part of the Boss's plan to take over another department.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "assignment", "job", "need", "take over", "department", "report", "pretend", "useful" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-19", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "A vendor promises something that can be accomplished by travelling faster than light to go back in time.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "vendor" ], "keywords": [ "task", "faster than light", "black hole", "doorway in time", "iffy", "flexible" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-20", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice tries to get on the Boss's calendar and complains he's never available.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "book", "meeting", "Tuesday", "ratio", "availability", "useful", "insult", "math", "human resources" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-21", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss mumbles while explaining Dilbert's objectives. Dilbert has to bring in an interpreter.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Allen" ], "keywords": [ "critical part", "objective", "mumble", "interpreter", "jargon", "weaselese", "dialect", "line dance", "gazebo" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-22", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert he must cancel his class because of budget cuts. Dilbert says the class is already paid for.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "training", "slash", "cancel", "class", "smart", "stupid", "secret" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-23", "subject": "Work Avoidance", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Wally rejoice when they get an unnecessary assignment.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "critical", "analysis", "sweet smell", "unnecessary assignment", "feasibility", "non-existent", "software" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says it's the new reality, and people who don't like it can leave.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "new reality", "question", "definition", "sleep", "presentation", "motivational" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-25", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "An employee complains his keycard doesn't work and neither does his password or voicemail.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "key card", "tailgate", "network password", "voicemail", "grin", "fired" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to walk and talk.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "walk and talk", "supplier", "greet", "name", "easy" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss doesn't listen while he and Dilbert are walking and talking.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "walk and talk", "decision", "distract", "random", "answer" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-28", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The Boss interrupts Dilbert's meeting with a customer and wastes all their time.", "characters": [ "Boss", "customer", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "favourite", "customer", "luck", "perspective", "quality", "price", "service", "circle", "waste", "revenge", "phrase" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-29", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Ted interrupts the meeting to say the committee across the hall is doing the same thing they are.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "committee", "hall", "duplicate", "west side story", "hum", "dance fight" ] }, { "date": "2002-04-30", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice to write her own performance evaluation.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "write", "sign", "seven layers of management", "ding", "manage myself", "self-management" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to not reply to his boss's e-mail until the Boss has reviewed it.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "review", "walk", "cubicle", "route", "mention", "release" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-02", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok wins the clean desk award.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "win", "clean desk award", "facilities people", "desk", "appearance", "unused", "paycheque", "tax bracket" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-03", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "Catbert suggests the Boss write on Alice's performance review, \"needs too much supervision.\"", "characters": [ "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "supervision", "protest", "purr", "lips", "evil" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-04", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "Alice protests when the Boss writes on her performance review, \"needs too much supervision.\"", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "supervision", "insane", "time waster", "lard filled suit", "cubicle", "crane", "trap", "win" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss and Dilbert discuss the best way to circulate an idea throughout the department.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Scott Adams" ], "keywords": [ "socialise", "idea", "department", "buy in", "dialogging", "feedback", "consensus", "flagpole", "straw man", "stakeholder", "sympathy", "salute", "temperature", "inoculate" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-06", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Alice reads minutes from the last staff meeting. Irrelevance and bad decisions, she says.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "minutes", "read", "irrelevant", "decision", "men", "idiot", "imply", "Zzzz", "sleep" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss distributes an inspirational book to the engineers about a fish market.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "staff", "inspirational book", "fish market", "success", "character", "depress", "capture", "toss", "eat" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-08", "subject": "Training", "saga": "Asok becomes a cyborg", "synopsis": "Asok wants to improve his interpersonal skills, he tells Catbert.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "interpersonal skills", "improve", "CD", "cubicle", "wild", "human", "weak", "computer", "strong", "side" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-09", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Asok says his training CD is turning him to be a cyborg.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "CD", "brainwash", "cyborg", "smart", "stupid", "implant", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-10", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Asok goes to the doctor because he has been turned into a cyborg.", "characters": [ "Asok", "doctor", "employee" ], "keywords": [ "CD", "brainwash", "cyborg", "insurance", "cosmetic surgery", "game", "system", "roof", "jump", "line", "queue", "follow up", "stethoscope" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-11", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert says they can fix their incomprehensible user interface -- for a million dollars.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "incomprehensible", "fix", "dollars", "user interface", "close", "eyes", "wish", "save", "presentation" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-12", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Asok complains to Wally about the \"working lunch,\" where he is forced to give up his free time.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "outrage", "working lunch", "steal", "free time", "sandwich", "sacred", "wind beneath my wings", "sorry", "fart", "pass gas" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-13", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Preparing for the CEO visit", "synopsis": "The Boss says the CEO is visiting next week and all real work must be discontinued in favour of diversity.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "visit", "real work", "productivity", "illusion", "diversity", "sign-up sheet", "slot", "hat", "clipboard" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The CEO is visiting next week so the Boss asks Wally to hide in the restroom.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "visit", "hide", "restroom", "dream", "assignment", "newspaper" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice previews her slides with the Boss in preparation for the CEO's visit.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "visit", "PowerPoint", "slide", "focus", "fix", "wrong", "information", "joke", "gasp", "kidding" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-16", "subject": "Management", "saga": "The CEO visits", "synopsis": "The CEO arrives for a visit and doesn't want to tour the cubicles.", "characters": [ "Boss", "CEO" ], "keywords": [ "visit", "tour", "cubicle", "box", "pretend", "work", "plan" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice and Dilbert give a presentation to the visiting CEO.", "characters": [ "Boss", "CEO", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "visit", "presentation", "curious", "department", "improve", "efficiency", "teamwork" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The visiting CEO says the Boss's department is bloated and will cut half his budget.", "characters": [ "CEO", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "visit", "presentation", "department", "bloat", "eliminate", "budget", "marketing" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-19", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "A vendor says his new system will pay for itself in three years.", "characters": [ "vendor", "Dilbert", "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "system", "buy", "pay for itself", "cost", "save", "math", "emotionally invested", "tauntage" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-20", "subject": "Management", "saga": "The Boss is demoted to engineer", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces the new senior VP, Cyrus the Virus, who will replace managers with his old cronies.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Cyrus the virus", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "new", "virus", "senior vice president", "infection", "attack", "replace", "crony", "cell phone" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-21", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss is demoted to engineer so his job can go to the new VP's crony.", "characters": [ "Cyrus the virus", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "demote", "job", "crony", "survive", "real work", "pretend" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-22", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "After being demoted, the Boss goes to his new cubicle and convinces himself it's respectable.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "demote", "cubicle", "respectable", "cry", "loser cruiser" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-23", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to teach him to be one of the little people.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "demote", "buddy", "teach", "eyebrow", "little people" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss plans to get his old job back by spreading rumours about his replacement.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "demote", "rumour", "fire", "clueless", "idea" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss gains empathy with the rest of the engineers, he tells Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "demote", "noble", "little people", "empathy", "serve", "promotion" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-26", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "An employee quits to go to a job at a competitor, so Catbert drains all his technical knowledge first.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Boss", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "quit", "job", "competitor", "employment agreement", "knowledge", "skill", "brain suck", "shrunken head", "golf ball" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-27", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The Boss uses inappropriate buzzwords at a meeting.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "ping", "Director of Marketing", "double click", "budget", "interface", "scope", "bandwidth", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-28", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The Boss downsizes Ted because they haven't made any revenue in three months.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "performance", "excellent", "billing system", "defective", "revenue" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-29", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally uses a metal detector at the office.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "metal detector", "priceless treasure", "bottle cap", "calling", "waste", "explain" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-30", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Wally how it's going with the metal detector.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "metal detector", "treasure hunt", "loot", "thrill", "carpet", "seed", "nickel" ] }, { "date": "2002-05-31", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss's latest book says people can choose their attitudes.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "book", "choose", "attitude", "dopey", "gullible", "theme", "choice", "enlightenment" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss is disappointed when the employee's morale doesn't improve after he bought a motivational book.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "book", "motivation", "morale", "defective", "compare", "sheesh", "think" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-02", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert prepares for a daring commando raid on the office of his Internet provider.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "daring", "commando raid", "Internet provider", "cancel", "service agreement", "fat", "mask", "stun gun", "kill", "ninja outfit", "rope", "headquarters" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-03", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Wally tells the Boss he is available by pager -- unless he's not available.", "characters": [ "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "pager", "call", "solar flare", "blockage", "tide", "humidity", "equinox" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-04", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "Dilbert moves to an office", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for a vacant office instead of his cubicle.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "vacant", "office", "layoff", "door", "toy" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-05", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert brags to Alice he is moving to an office.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "vacant", "office", "ill will", "cubicle", "Diltopia", "bow", "reverence", "shoe" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-06", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert enjoys how much better things are when he's in his private office.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "vacant", "office", "desk", "fluorescent", "warm", "bright", "door", "strip", "polka-dot underwear" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-07", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Catbert tells Dilbert the other engineers complained about his having a private office.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "vacant", "office", "private", "complain", "fair", "explain" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-08", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Mordac, Preventer of information services, tells Alice she has exceeded her server storage limit.", "characters": [ "Mordac", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "Preventer of information services", "exceed", "storage limit", "server", "double", "mystique", "hit", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-09", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "A merger with another company has been approved and Catbert is working on integrating the two benefits programs.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Catbert", "other HR director" ], "keywords": [ "merger", "blend", "benefits program", "maternity leave", "smoker", "squat", "parking lot", "draining", "training" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-10", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "Catbert says employees are only allowed to talk about work.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Ted", "Ted's wife" ], "keywords": [ "non-work", "conversation", "e-mail", "work hours", "chance", "dinner" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-11", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "A vendor explains the latest version of his product is a step backwards in quality and reliability.", "characters": [ "vendor", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "version", "backward", "quality", "reliability", "irrational", "software", "product", "hate", "weasel", "guts", "home", "office" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-12", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A new employee is looking for a project to horn into.", "characters": [ "new employee", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "assignment", "project", "horn", "threaten", "ineffectual", "career", "attendance", "head nodding" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-13", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A new employee tells Dilbert how he has learned to appear smarter than he really is.", "characters": [ "new employee", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "appearance", "smart", "agree", "reword", "wise", "cubicle", "less is more" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert he had to make an engineering decision about Dilbert's project.", "characters": [ "Boss", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "project", "decision", "agree", "stupid", "fibre capacity", "serial input", "breakfast" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Roboboss to handle all the trivial management tasks.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Roboboss" ], "keywords": [ "handle", "trivial", "task", "insult", "machine", "delegate", "plywoodboss" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-16", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Asok asks Wally how he manages to remain carefree while everyone else is overworked.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "advice", "master", "asleep", "carefree", "overworked", "powerful", "secret", "volunteer", "busy", "complain", "Gandhi", "glimmer of hope" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-17", "subject": "Accounting", "saga": "Making the accounting system more confusing", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to destroy accounting records because stockholders are worried.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "stockholder", "worry", "profit", "gimmick", "destroy", "record", "illegal", "confuse" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-18", "subject": "Accounting", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Dogbert if making accounting records more confusing is ethical.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "confuse", "ethical", "shortsell", "order", "wrong", "telephone", "ear" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-19", "subject": "Accounting", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks an accounting troll to participate in his project as a subject matter expert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "accounting troll" ], "keywords": [ "subject matter expert", "project", "world", "worse", "honest", "groupie" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-20", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert kicks off the project meeting to make the accounting system less transparent.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "accounting", "transparent", "investor", "influence", "corrupt", "corporate culture" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-21", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert reports he has added complications to the accounting records and is erasing memories from senior management.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "senior manager", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "accounting", "impenetrable", "team", "complication", "record", "erase", "congress", "mallet", "diagram" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-22", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert describes how he was simultaneously using his phone, cell phone, instant messaging and pager.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "cell phone", "telephone", "e-mail", "instant message", "pager", "story", "fascinate" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-23", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert interviews Matt, who has a three-year gap in his work history.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Matt" ], "keywords": [ "interview", "resume", "gap", "chequebook", "balance", "mission", "bank", "mistake", "court case", "hygiene", "landmark" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-24", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Roboboss gives Alice a shallow compliment, but she still appreciates it.", "characters": [ "Roboboss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "valuable asset", "compliment", "shallow", "high five" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-25", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Alice wonders whether her relationship with Roboboss can really work.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Roboboss" ], "keywords": [ "relationship", "soulless machine", "shallow", "compliment", "110%", "love", "restaurant", "wine", "oil" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-26", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert introduces a survey to help improve morale. Dilbert is taken aback.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally", "Alice", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "survey", "morale", "misjudge", "care", "disgruntle", "fire" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks a depressed employee to cheer up.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "cheer up", "attitude", "six months to live", "motivational book" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-28", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Wally and a co-worker continually trade voicemails by ignoring incoming calls.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "battle of wills", "voicemail", "message", "call me", "cubicle" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Alice to act like she's her own boss.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "act", "pointy hair", "confused", "respect", "golf", "funny" ] }, { "date": "2002-06-30", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The Boss pulls Dilbert out of a meeting for an important assignment.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "schedule", "cover", "note", "coffee", "crud", "conflict", "pot", "drink", "exaggerate", "accomplishment" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-01", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for a computer cable and gets a piece of rope instead.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "procurement monkey" ], "keywords": [ "procurement", "cable", "computer", "order", "rope", "cheap", "ooh hoo", "exclusive contract", "rope distributor" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-02", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains his technology test failed because he had a rope instead of a cable.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "procurement", "technology", "test", "fail", "rope", "cable", "contract", "take sides", "exclusive", "vendor" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-03", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Coffee with the Boss", "synopsis": "The Boss announces \"Coffee with the Boss,\" where every employee gets an hour of quality time with him.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "coffee with the boss", "idea", "quality time", "staple", "skunk", "banjo", "that's the spirit", "better than working" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert is first on the \"Coffee with the Boss\" program.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "coffee with the boss", "opinion", "chair", "squeak", "ungrateful", "wretch" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally, at the \"Coffee with the Boss\" meeting, says he hadn't been drinking enough coffee.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "coffee with the boss", "meeting", "morale", "drink", "promise", "table" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-06", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "The Boss isn't told what his budget is so he won't try to spend it all.", "characters": [ "executive", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "vague", "limit", "spend", "strategy", "kidding" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for ideas on how to improve morale, and Wally responds with repeating last year's potluck lunch.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "morale", "meeting", "idea", "potluck lunch", "schedule", "conflict", "PVIEP", "meal", "organise" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-08", "subject": "Personal", "saga": "Wally fills in for the Boss while he is on vacation", "synopsis": "The Boss announces his African vacation.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "vacation", "Africa", "shoot", "window", "SUV", "monkey brains", "nostril" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-09", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "The Boss appoints Wally to be in charge while he's on vacation.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "vacation", "acting boss", "chair", "baby", "butt", "wiggle" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally tells Carol he is filling in for the Boss while he's on vacation.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "secretary", "administrative assistant", "stinking baboon", "arrogance" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally tells Dilbert he enjoys filling in for the Boss.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "vacation", "relief", "walk", "avoid", "loathe", "decision", "underpaid" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally, as acting boss, revamps the project status colour codes.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "presentation", "revamp", "project status", "colour code", "confess", "embarrass", "idea" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss returns from vacation to learn Wally has sat in his chair.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol", "cooty squad member" ], "keywords": [ "refresh", "vacation", "calm", "relax", "chair", "cooty squad", "burn", "hazmat gear" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-14", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "A woman holds up Dilbert's project and Dilbert seeks the Boss's advice on what to do.", "characters": [ "woman", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "resource", "application", "important", "thwart", "satisfaction", "charm", "hound", "recoil", "voice", "thank", "nothing", "unhelpful" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-15", "subject": "Personnel", "saga": "Company bankruptcy because of fake profits", "synopsis": "Tina forwards lots of jokes by e-mail and Catbert says that costs lost productivity.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Tine" ], "keywords": [ "records", "e-mail", "forward", "joke", "productivity", "blame", "bankruptcy" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-16", "subject": "Financial", "synopsis": "The Boss announces the company is filing for chapter 11 bankruptcy.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "chapter 11", "file", "profit", "fake", "laugh", "stock", "CFO", "diversify", "investment" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-17", "subject": "Financial", "synopsis": "The Boss made a fortune selling his stock options while the company goes bankrupt.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "fortune", "stock options", "bankrupt", "401K", "stolen", "life savings", "quote marks" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-18", "subject": "Financial", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains because the company went bankrupt, he is now broke. Dogbert says that's not true.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "broke", "bankruptcy", "401K", "worthless", "impersonate", "investment", "tobacco", "sweat shop", "diamond", "soul", "eternity", "hell" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-19", "subject": "Financial", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders how the accounting firm missed the fact the company is bankrupt.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "bankruptcy", "accounting firm", "conflict of interest", "t-shirt", "design", "arrow" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-20", "subject": "Financial", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells his mother his company went bankrupt and the accounting firm missed that fact.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's Mom" ], "keywords": [ "bankruptcy", "accountant", "t-shirt", "product", "defective", "cauldron", "irony", "weasel soup" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-21", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "In his \"The Wally Report,\" Wally tells of his visit to his hair stylist.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "Wally report", "staff meeting", "hair", "glasses", "stylist", "fashion", "temper", "hair gel", "plunger" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-22", "subject": "Financial", "synopsis": "Alice is broke because the company went bankrupt, but Wally invested his money in their competitor's stock and is rich.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "bankruptcy", "401K", "invest", "competitor", "rich", "stock", "coffee" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-23", "subject": "Financial", "synopsis": "Alice has a list of all executives who sold their stock before bankruptcy and she plans revenge.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "bankruptcy", "executive", "stock", "plan", "ankle", "shake", "roof", "bag", "cat comb" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-24", "subject": "Financial", "synopsis": "The Boss announces the company received a bailout loan from the government.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "bankruptcy", "government", "lobbyist", "bailout", "loan", "tax", "product", "legal", "wuss", "overpriced" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-25", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Carol says the feng shui in the Boss's office is terrible.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "feng shui", "office", "energy", "drain", "Internet", "computer fan", "kill" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-26", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a co-worker if he has finished the vendor comparison due today.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "vendor comparison", "promise", "threat", "defective" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for the Boss's help to yell at a co-worker to make him do his job.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "help", "yell", "worthless", "incompetent", "buy", "telephone call", "meeting" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-28", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "A grocery clerk explains to Dilbert the benefits of their frequent grocery club.", "characters": [ "clerk", "Dilbert", "shopper" ], "keywords": [ "member", "frequent grocery club", "card", "discount", "junk mail", "cleanup", "engineer spittle", "cash register" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-29", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Ming asks Dilbert his opinion about the injection of poison to remove facial wrinkles.", "characters": [ "Ming", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "inject", "poison", "face", "wrinkle", "kill", "joke", "correct answer", "shar-pei", "mother", "insult" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-30", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Other engineers have managed expensive projects that have failed, but not Wally. That makes Wally the top performer.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "project", "fail", "expensive", "coffee", "top performer", "economic basis", "watch and learn" ] }, { "date": "2002-07-31", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "A new parent complains to Dilbert about lack of sleep.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Becky" ], "keywords": [ "new baby", "sleep", "toll", "eye" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says goals will be replaced by stretch goals.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "goals", "stretch goals", "stretch pants", "surrender", "doughnut" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-02", "subject": "Customer Service", "synopsis": "Dilbert says budget cuts have affected their customer service centre. They have started making prank phone calls.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "customer service rep" ], "keywords": [ "budget", "service centre", "prank call", "elderly", "records", "neighbour", "treasure", "lawn", "telephone headset" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-03", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Wally describes his dreams about work to his psychologist.", "characters": [ "Wally", "psychologist" ], "keywords": [ "dream", "work", "sleep", "freak", "pill", "quack" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-04", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Alice starts the meeting with a prayer.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Asok", "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "prayer", "valley", "idiot", "fear", "downsizing", "fist of death", "portfolio", "clown", "objection", "marketable job skills", "escape", "heathen" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-05", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert wants to stop calling the employees \"resources.\" Livestock or human capital seem better.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "resource", "employee", "complimentary", "livestock", "human capital", "hay", "demand" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-06", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "An employee asks Carol to borrow her three-hole punch.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "three-hole punch", "whoa", "waltz", "hole", "clean", "whack", "list", "assassinate", "kill", "murder" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-07", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "Catbert tells Alice she is not allowed to eat in her cubicle.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "eat", "cubicle", "gulp", "munch", "vision", "eye", "horror" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks the engineers to help fill the empty cubicles so they don't frighten customers.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "frighten", "customer", "adopt", "empty", "Frenchman", "occupy", "Phil de Cube" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-09", "subject": "Telecommuting", "synopsis": "Allen, telecommuting for four years, learns he was fired four years ago.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Allen", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "fire", "e-mail", "office", "uninformed" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-10", "subject": "Telecommuting", "synopsis": "Allen, who didn't know he was fired four years ago, thinks unemployment feels exactly like empowerment.", "characters": [ "Allen", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "fire", "unemployment", "empowerment", "movie", "The Sixth Sense", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Both plans are technically impossible, but one costs less, so executives debate which is better.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "executive", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "plan", "technically impossible", "cost", "alternative", "recommendation", "difference" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-12", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert studies company culture in a pith helmet", "synopsis": "Dogbert sets out to study culture in the company and make some recommendations.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "study", "culture", "pith helmet", "recommendation", "docile", "outcast", "banana", "staple", "tracking device", "knapsack", "backpack", "walking stick", "coffee", "brown water" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-13", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert studies how Alice stalks her prey and pounces.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Alice", "Asok", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "study", "culture", "hunt", "female", "stalk", "prey", "e-mail", "pounce", "gruesome", "laugh", "pith helmet", "knapsack", "backpack", "scorch", "razor sharp" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-14", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert presents his report on corporate culture to the Boss. It's not complimentary.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "study", "culture", "report", "unmotivated", "weasel", "hat", "knapsack", "summary", "pith helmet", "backpack" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-15", "subject": "Advertising", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces the ad company for the new campaign.", "characters": [ "Boss", "ad man", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "Amorphous Ad Company", "campaign", "hire", "gaseous cloud", "music", "noise", "name", "ruin", "goatee" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-16", "subject": "Advertising", "synopsis": "The ad man introduces his idea for print ads -- a shape with no text.", "characters": [ "ad man", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "print ads", "shape", "text", "idea", "green", "creativity", "goatee" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-17", "subject": "Advertising", "synopsis": "Dilbert and his mom watch the new TV commercial for his company.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's Mom" ], "keywords": [ "commercial", "information", "product", "ashamed", "incompetent", "conversation", "television" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-18", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date describes her pet peeve: when people use their cell phones in restaurants.", "characters": [ "Dilbert's date", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "cell phone", "pet peeve", "restaurant", "talk", "rude", "committee", "common sense", "gadget", "drive thru", "kiss", "awkward", "mistake" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-19", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "Asok has a billion-dollar idea. The Boss says the company has ownership.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "sweet mother of potatoes", "billion-dollar idea", "own", "cough", "fire", "sue", "first", "cry" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-20", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Carol she's going to an executive bodyguard class to keep him safe.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "executive", "bodyguard", "class", "pounce", "kidnap", "sacrifice", "safe", "inside help", "reimburse" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-21", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally gets mail for the first time in twelve years and is really happy about it.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "mail", "junk mail", "box", "glisten" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-22", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders why Wally is so excited to get a piece of junk mail.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "mail", "junk mail", "mailing list", "letter", "validate", "existence", "clean win" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-23", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally shows his first ever junk mail to the rest of the engineers at the meeting.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "mail", "junk mail", "bulk mail", "morale", "WM1", "Wally's Mail One", "unopened", "lie" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-24", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to order software but can't because the only person who knows the ordering system is on her honeymoon.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "order", "software", "CFO", "Cheryl", "approval", "system", "available", "parole board" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss micromanages Alice and she reacts by giving him a blood sample and a book by Erwin Schrodinger.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "box", "blue", "micromanage", "blood", "microscope", "Erwin Schrodinger", "quantum", "gift", "white blood cells" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss discovers an old five-year plan and compares it to the results.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "five-year plan", "compare", "Microsoft", "dust heap", "history", "relegate" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss reads from a five-year-old five-year plan, and discovers a spookily-accurate prediction.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "five-year plan", "team", "investigation", "accounting irregularities", "spooky" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-28", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Ted quits to go into business for himself. On the way out he calls the Boss some names.", "characters": [ "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "quit", "stinkin'", "pile of rubbish", "moron", "freelance web designer", "self employed" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-29", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Bob the dinosaur is evolving. He's hoping a light-sensitive zit will turn into an eye.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "greet", "evolution", "zit", "sensitive", "sunlight", "eye", "hope", "attitude", "sneak", "bathrobe", "positive" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-30", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Bob shows Dogbert his zit that may become a third eye. Dogbert says it may not be a natural advantage.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Dogbert", "Bullysaur" ], "keywords": [ "punctuated equilibrium", "zit", "evolution", "eye", "natural advantage", "fitter dinosaurs", "enemy", "cigarette" ] }, { "date": "2002-08-31", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "A Bullysaur attacks Bob for the zit Bob is trying to evolve into a third eye.", "characters": [ "Bullysaur", "Bob", "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "evolution", "zit", "eye", "natural advantage", "cosmetic", "topical antibiotics", "Tivo", "watch", "Bathrobe", "remote control", "cigarette" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-01", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss hosts a quarterly employee feedback meeting and asks for suggestions. Asok wants to know the company's long-term strategy.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Wally", "Alice", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "employee feedback meeting", "quarterly", "long term", "strategy", "leak", "competitor", "suggest", "crush", "stupid", "trap", "optimist" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-02", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for a code for charging his project expenses to.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "project code guy" ], "keywords": [ "code", "charge", "project", "expense", "hate", "assign", "freakin' hard" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-03", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Dilbert finally realises he hates everyone in the world.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "realise", "hate", "weasel", "think", "innocent", "child", "love", "tiny", "unconditional" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-04", "subject": "Training", "saga": "mouse training", "synopsis": "Tina signs up Dilbert for the mandatory mouse training class.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "sign up", "mandatory", "mouse training", "class", "western grip", "carpal tunnel", "weak", "two handed" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-05", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "A trainer kicks off the mouse training class by asking why mouse training is important.", "characters": [ "trainer", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Asok", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "mouse training", "opinion", "share", "important" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-06", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "The mouse training instructor introduces the concept of premature clickage.", "characters": [ "trainer", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "mouse training", "premature clickage", "contort", "visualise", "pair off", "finger exercises", "Three Stooges" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says the latest customer satisfaction survey shows improvement from last year.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "survey", "customer satisfaction", "improve", "focus group", "research", "pencil", "attack", "spontaneous", "shiv", "premeditated" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-08", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss decides to stay in his office and communicate only by e-mail.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "cancel", "meeting", "office", "e-mail", "communication", "report", "magic", "out of the office", "situation", "wave" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-09", "subject": "Leadership", "saga": "new CEO, a former burglar", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Rufus T. Skwerrel, new CEO and former burglar.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Rufus T. Skwerrel", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "job", "trailer park", "burglar", "merger", "acquisition", "accounting", "suspicious", "wallet and watch", "buckteeth", "mugger", "knife" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-10", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Wally has been robbed by the new CEO. They discuss how much charisma he has.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "charisma", "rob", "miracle worker", "duct tape", "wallet", "classy", "underwear" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-11", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dilbert relates how the new CEO robbed the building with a moving van.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "rob", "moving van", "break", "law", "opinion", "tax lawyer", "board of directors", "duct tape", "underwear" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-12", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to reduce expenses, so has everyone dress in barrels.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Carol", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "expense", "dress code", "barrel", "casual barrel day", "ride up", "sit down" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-13", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Dilbert has a meeting with customers. The company is poor now, so he has trouble with clothing and food.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "customer", "demonstrate", "technology", "humiliate", "poor", "feed", "barrel", "cat food" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-14", "subject": "Travel", "saga": "Cheap Elbonian trip", "synopsis": "The Boss sends Dilbert to Elbonia for a meeting and Dilbert must conserve money.", "characters": [ "Boss", "barrel driver", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "budget", "meeting", "limo service", "airport", "cheap", "taxi", "barrel", "talker", "newspaper" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert says the project can't succeed and the Boss says to do it anyway.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "feasibility analysis", "product", "obsolete", "succeed", "credible", "stupid", "schedule", "evil" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-16", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert checks in at Elbonia Air.", "characters": [ "airline clerk", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "reservation", "airline", "check in", "computer", "cardboard", "prop", "steal", "security", "frisk", "glove", "barrel" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-17", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for a recommendation for a bad hotel in Elbonia.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "cheap", "direct", "bad hotel", "Bubonic Inn", "flea", "mattress", "lazy", "barrel", "rat" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-18", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains to the Elbonians why he is dressed in a barrel.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "broke", "dress code", "lack of fashion", "barrel" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-19", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "The Boss announces the dress code will go back to regular business attire. He'll keep changing the dress code until he finds one that will make the profits rise.", "characters": [ "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "dress code", "business attire", "change", "style", "profit", "lab test", "sartorial alchemy lab", "spark", "lab coat", "safety glasses" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-20", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Dilbert to a woman who gets peeved at any question.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Peeved Eve" ], "keywords": [ "question", "ask", "question", "poink", "show" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-21", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Wally to floss in front of Peeved Eve.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Peeved Eve" ], "keywords": [ "dental floss", "explain", "follow", "mutant", "expression", "new hire" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-22", "subject": "Investment", "synopsis": "Bob Weaselton, full service stockbroker, describes the different ways to relate to Dilbert, the honest way or the dishonest way.", "characters": [ "Bob Weaselton", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "stockbroker", "stock", "trust", "compare", "portfolio", "benchmark", "direct", "garbage", "commission", "lie", "haircut", "whiskers" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-23", "subject": "Product", "saga": "Alice gets sick at seeing a bad interface design", "synopsis": "Alice sees Dilbert's new interface design and throws up.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "user interface", "design", "colour", "puke", "throw up", "flu", "sick", "vomit" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-24", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Alice sees a doctor because she threw up after seeing Dilbert's interface design.", "characters": [ "doctor", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "chronic", "Mahjobbis Crappus", "Mahjobis Crappus", "puke", "user interface", "design", "engineer", "poison", "dead", "stethoscope" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-25", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Alice, after being given one week to live, asks the Garbageman for a cure for her poisoning.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Garbageman" ], "keywords": [ "one week to live", "poison", "interface design", "cure", "ugly memory", "staggering beauty", "trashcan" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-26", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert's Mom complains to Dilbert a friend's son did more projects than Dilbert and has a bigger cubicle.", "characters": [ "Dilbert's Mom", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "project", "count", "cubicle", "double wide", "CEO", "elevator", "Scrabble night", "living hell", "counterfeit vowel" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-27", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert's Mom complains Dilbert did only one project last year, while her friend's son did three.", "characters": [ "Dilbert's Mom", "Dilbert", "Norma", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "project", "count", "measure", "worth", "ROI", "track", "lose" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-28", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally says at school, he was always the last kid picked to be on a team.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "school", "team", "pick", "super power" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-29", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "The Boss coughs directly on Alice.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "office", "sniff", "cold", "cough", "sneeze", "cootie", "burrow", "skin", "unclean", "motivation", "direct hit", "hair" ] }, { "date": "2002-09-30", "subject": "Project", "saga": "Dilbert's project team: nitwit, ogre and $#!%", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to integrate the sales database with the inventory and finance system.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "integrate", "sales database", "inventory", "finance system", "nitwit", "ogre", "$#!%", "fire" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-01", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert kicks off the project to integrate the different systems.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "nitwit", "ogre" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "kickoff", "team", "compose", "#$%!", "doughnut", "eat", "fang" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-02", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Alice and Dilbert compare the composition of their project teams: a nitwit, ogre and #$%!.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "stall", "nitwit", "hate ogre", "#$%!", "ate", "blame", "borrow", "requisition" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-03", "subject": "Vendor", "synopsis": "A vendor describes their processes but could not mention their product or service.", "characters": [ "vendor", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "pitch", "win-win scenario", "customer focused solution", "product", "service", "partner", "shovel", "buy" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-04", "subject": "Vendor", "synopsis": "A vendor still can't describe his company's product or service.", "characters": [ "vendor", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "integrate", "resource", "optimise", "performance", "technology" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-05", "subject": "Strategy", "synopsis": "Dilbert is to put together a team to decide on the membership of a strategy council.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "team", "council", "committee", "produce", "document", "ignore" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-06", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "The Boss gives Wally his annual performance review and has to refer to the thesaurus for appropriate words.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "word", "situation", "thesaurus", "feral", "leadership", "squirrelly", "coot", "landscaping", "compost" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-07", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Dogbert says the company's television advertising has not been effective and recommends a new strategy.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "survey", "TV", "effective", "ad", "commercial", "boring", "rat hole" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-08", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks Ratbert to dig a rat hole for companies to throw money into.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "rat hole", "throw money", "dig", "smell", "feet", "pillow" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-09", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Dogbert has people lining up to throw money into his rat hole.", "characters": [ "investor", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "rat hole", "business plan", "investment", "banking fee", "low margin", "push", "moneybag" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-10", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "An investor can't decide whether to throw money into Dogbert's rat hole or buy a ticket for a rocket ride.", "characters": [ "investor", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "rat hole", "space shuttle", "Russian rocket", "ticket", "poor", "moneybag" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-11", "subject": "Strategy", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for suggestions on how to reduce inventory.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "suggestion", "reduce", "inventory", "sell", "customer", "board", "idea" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets ready to leave on vacation.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "vacation", "loose ends", "walk", "reporter", "design", "computer", "recycled paper" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss presents a slide that says they are a pyramid with three pillars: communication, integrity and teamwork.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "pillar", "pyramid", "communication", "integrity", "teamwork", "question", "shut up", "problem", "idiot", "stool", "answer", "team player" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-14", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The Boss says they can build a computer out of recycled paper.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "analogy", "flaw", "man on the moon", "computer", "recycled paper", "call" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-15", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The Boss selects Dilbert to lead the team that will build a computer from recycled paper.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "team leader", "computer", "recycled paper", "doom", "fail", "laugh", "teach", "joy", "misery" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-16", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Wally sends an e-mail by sleeping with his face on his keyboard, and marketing people misinterpret it.", "characters": [ "Wally", "marketeer" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "sleep", "keyboard", "launch", "product", "lunch", "penguin", "typo" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-17", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "A marketing person invites Dilbert to a product launch party.", "characters": [ "marketeer", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "product launch", "party", "product", "mime impression" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-18", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Garbageman if his latest project looks impossible.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Garbageman" ], "keywords": [ "assignment", "impossible", "speed of light", "cloning", "hope", "gravity", "sun", "reanimate", "trashcan" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-19", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dogbert helps Dilbert get out of his impossible project.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "assignment", "impossible", "weasel", "reword", "objectives", "match", "analyse", "feasibility", "discontinue", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-20", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss is upset with Alice because she talked to his boss without permission.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "talk", "boss", "permission", "unwritten rule", "proud", "esp", "skull", "transmit", "ear hole" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-21", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert, the investment banker, recommends a company the Boss should buy. The company is facing a trillion dollar asbestos lawsuit.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "investment banker", "deal sheet", "company", "lawsuit", "asbestos", "earning", "stock analyst", "minutiae" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-22", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert says the conditions are right for the company merger: corruption and greed.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "investment banker", "merger", "elements", "corrupt", "auditor", "stock analyst", "greed", "board member", "banker" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-23", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "A weasel teaches the Boss how to answer media questions.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "weasel", "reporter", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "investment banker", "media questions", "reporter", "answer", "it will be good for stockholders", "run over", "parking lot", "microphone", "television camera" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-24", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Asok worries the upcoming merger is a scam on the stockholders.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "investment banker", "merger", "scam", "stockholder", "laugh", "accretive to earnings" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-25", "subject": "Business", "saga": "Dilbert's Mom sues the company", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to rough up a stockholder who is suing to stop the upcoming merger.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "stockholder", "sue", "lawsuit", "merger", "rough her up", "assignment", "disturb", "holiday", "tense", "blah" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-26", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks his mom to drop her lawsuit against his company. She says she'll defend herself against their goons.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's Mom" ], "keywords": [ "stockholder", "lawsuit", "drop", "fight dirty", "tae bo", "goon", "dispatch", "Billy Blanks", "butt" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-27", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert recommends some ways to improve the company after an epic year of unethical behaviour.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert", "pirate", "diseased parrot", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "epic year", "unethical behaviour", "rebranding", "image consultant", "stinkingweasels inc.", "slogan", "spokesperson", "standards", "moneybag" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-28", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert says he'll be fired unless she drops her lawsuit against his company.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's Mom" ], "keywords": [ "fire", "lawsuit", "drop", "management", "despicable", "weasel", "challenge", "DNA test" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-29", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dogbert, the lawyer, says the best defence against the lawsuit is to plead ignorance of the stock manipulation.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "attorney", "defence", "ignorance", "stock manipulation", "judge", "chocolate pants", "Las Vegas", "photography convention" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-30", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dogbert the lawyer presents his defence against the lawsuit: his client was too dumb to embezzle.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "judge", "juror" ], "keywords": [ "lawsuit", "client", "prove", "embezzle", "dump", "court" ] }, { "date": "2002-10-31", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "The jury says the defendant is guilty and is sentenced to death.", "characters": [ "jury foreperson", "juror" ], "keywords": [ "jury", "defendant", "sentence", "death", "deliberate", "evidence", "Jay Leno", "monologue", "court" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-01", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dogbert, the trial lawyer, after hearing the evidence, wants to change sides and punish his client.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "attorney", "change sides", "evidence", "punish", "client", "awkward silence", "break", "court" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-02", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "The judge finds the Boss guilty of defrauding stockholders.", "characters": [ "judge", "officer", "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "court", "guilty", "defraud", "stockholder", "sentence", "serve time", "horrible", "cubicle", "gavel", "handcuffs" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Tina wants the company to show more corporate social responsibility.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "corporate social responsibility", "salary", "poor people", "stockholder", "hose", "pollute", "stock option", "bucket", "river", "sludge", "coffee", "zesty" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-04", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "The Boss, serving prison time in Wally's cubicle, wants to break out of the joint.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "convict", "bust out", "joint", "cubicle", "walk backward", "joke", "fresh meat" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-05", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "The Boss arrives back at work after serving his sentence to find morale had skyrocketed and the company showed more profits.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "jail", "sentence", "morale", "profit", "life has meaning" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-06", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Carol brings Dilbert's temp worker to meet him.", "characters": [ "Carol", "temp worker", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "request", "handshake", "commitment", "chair", "stand", "escape" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-07", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to give a temp worker an assignment.", "characters": [ "temp worker", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "fear of commitment", "foot our the door", "ten minute job", "escape", "paper", "pants" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-08", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Dogbert's theory of intelligence says IQ drops the longer a visitor drops by your cubicle when you're trying to work.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Alice", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "theory", "intelligence", "drop-by IQ", "cubicle", "fear", "banana", "stopwatch" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-09", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "Catbert advises the Boss not to do performance reviews on time, but rather to wait until the employee screws up big.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Ted", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "schedule", "screw up", "wait", "pounce", "demo unit", "burn down", "customer", "claw", "scorch", "bandage" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-10", "subject": "Presentation", "synopsis": "Dilbert gives a presentation and the pointy-haired audience argues over the background colour of the slides.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "pointy-haired nitwit" ], "keywords": [ "slide", "overhead", "background colour", "red", "danger", "yellow", "coward", "committee", "standard", "meteor", "micro-manage", "ear hole", "mouth" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-11", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "the short-timer", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a soon-to-be-retired co-worker for something, but he refuses to do anything.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "short-timer" ], "keywords": [ "deadline", "sit", "chair", "retire", "itch", "awkward" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-12", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Asok to fetch the short-timer.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "short-timer" ], "keywords": [ "retire", "push", "fetch", "injury", "refuse", "move", "piece of work" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-13", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Since the short-timer is retiring soon, the Boss asks him for some honest feedback.", "characters": [ "short-timer", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "retire", "honest", "feedback", "hard", "nothing", "illusion", "listen", "fantasise", "fishing" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-14", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok asks the short-timer how he will be able to leave the building if he won't move any muscles.", "characters": [ "Asok", "short-timer" ], "keywords": [ "leave", "refuse", "major muscle groups", "retire", "wheelchair", "drag", "curb", "face up" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-15", "subject": "Strategy", "synopsis": "Carol tells Dilbert about an emergency strategy meeting in five minutes.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "emergency", "meeting", "warm and cozy", "cubicle paradise", "not caring" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-16", "subject": "Strategy", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for suggestions for a new, clear strategy.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "suggestion", "profit", "clear", "illegal", "figure out" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert describes how management indecision made the project late.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "presentation", "slide", "decision", "project", "revision", "pressure", "3D glasses", "incompetence", "layer", "scratch n sniff", "doom", "laptop computer", "schedule", "deadline" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-18", "subject": "Marketing", "saga": "Dilbert is turned into a sheep", "synopsis": "A marketing person wants the engineers to build a device to turn customers into sheep.", "characters": [ "marketing person", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "device", "customer", "sheep", "free", "wool", "goatee", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-19", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert works on his invention to turn people into mindless sheep.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "invention", "turn into mindless sheep", "cosmetic", "curious", "unplug", "bother", "tool", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-20", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains to the Boss about the accident turned him into a sheep.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "invention", "sheep", "accident", "lab", "soft and warm", "opinion", "wool", "shave", "struggle", "razor", "clippers" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-21", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to explain to his co-workers he has been turned into a sheep.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "sheep", "problem", "interesting", "puddle", "fricken" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-22", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains to his mom he has been turned into a sheep.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's Mom" ], "keywords": [ "sheep", "bright side", "remind", "sweater", "advice", "ridicule", "pushy sheep" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-23", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "The Garbageman says Dilbert can reverse the sheep effect by attending a kickboxing class.", "characters": [ "Garbageman", "Dilbert", "kickboxer" ], "keywords": [ "sheep", "reverse", "kickboxing", "sign up", "change", "be prepared", "wear pants", "trashcan" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-24", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "Wally's objectives for the previous year were to play computer solitaire and drink coffee.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "hate", "objectives", "computer solitaire", "drink coffee", "lesson", "read", "sign", "win", "employee of the month", "warn" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-25", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally tells Dilbert he'll be wearing headphones all day long.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "headphones", "music", "drumming fingers", "hum", "whistle", "wish me luck", "inconsiderate" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-26", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wearing headphones, Wally sings along with Britney Spears.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "headphones", "music", "Britney Spears", "oops", "slap", "touch", "midriff" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-27", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Asok asks the Boss for a replacement for his computer monitor.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "computer screen", "defective", "order", "replacement", "overrated", "ignore", "bang", "head", "desk", "knock yourself out" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss distributes shirts as part of his War On Waste (WOW) program.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "shirt", "War on Waste", "WOW", "honk", "blow nose" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-29", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Wally sprained his arm using the TV remote control. He also has a cone around his face.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "sprained arm", "remote control", "change the channel", "volume", "stretch", "cast", "doctor", "bandage", "cone" ] }, { "date": "2002-11-30", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dilbert thinks Wally got treated at a vet instead of a doctor.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "doctor", "veterinarian", "military service", "cookie", "rub my belly", "I know something you don't know", "code", "bandage", "veteran" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to find out what a $2.37 expense was for.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "expense", "research", "engineer", "clerk", "trivial task", "project", "cancel", "assignment", "kudos" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-02", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The Boss announces layoffs are to be performed by a designated firer.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ted", "Carol", "weasel of layoffs", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "layoffs", "human resources", "designated firer", "cubicle", "toast", "stranger", "gaaa", "scythe" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-03", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The weasel of layoffs visits Ted.", "characters": [ "weasel of layoffs", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "layoffs", "experience", "humiliate", "tape", "list of defects", "why", "scythe" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Asok to summarise some project summaries, and then summarise the summary.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "project summaries", "summarise", "shorter word", "doomed" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-05", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Carol juggles personal calls on two telephones at the same time.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "telephone", "cell phone", "motor noise", "scorpion king", "action figure", "Barbie", "type", "nose", "message", "trifecta" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to do Ted's job as well as his own.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "two jobs", "poorly", "raise", "hire", "promise", "verbal praise" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-07", "subject": "Strategy", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol to tell the kids to stop skateboarding in the parking lot.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "skateboard", "parking lot", "kids", "reason", "master plan", "joy", "universe", "fool", "blame", "insurance", "globe" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-08", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Tina tries to tell Dilbert about her vacation but he's not interested.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "vacation", "sunset", "food", "selfish attempt", "happy memories", "expense", "film", "out of the loop" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-09", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert creates a source of unlimited free energy. Dogbert wants to use it to rule the world.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "magnetic-cancellation wheel", "unlimited free energy", "technology", "rule the world", "steal", "tool", "gizmo", "ear", "perpetual motion" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-10", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Bob had always dreamed of becoming fossil fuel until Dilbert's invention of unlimited free energy.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "dream", "decompose", "fossil fuel", "invention", "life", "purpose", "disposable evil lackey", "gizmo", "perpetual motion" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-11", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert describes his questionable business practises to cash out his business. They gag a rat.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "boost revenue", "offshore subsidiary", "expense", "capital", "prospect", "media", "industry analyst", "cash out", "gag a rat", "bribe", "business practise" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-12", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "A reporter from Moneybags Magazine interviews Dogbert about his success.", "characters": [ "Bob", "Dogbert", "reporter" ], "keywords": [ "Moneybags Magazine", "send him in", "employee", "claim", "lazy", "foot massage", "cover story" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-13", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert says he made billions by selling his stock before he drove his company into bankruptcy.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "stock", "bankruptcy", "weasel dance", "clap", "sing along", "ear", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-14", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally scares some school kids with tales of horrible things they do to you at work.", "characters": [ "Wally", "kid", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "rip", "ego", "box", "rot", "dead", "envy", "career day", "afraid of work" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to write a letter from the Boss to a customer, then the Boss will sign it.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "write a letter", "customer", "sign", "valuable executive time", "efficient", "possible outcome", "endless loop", "criticism", "hassle", "paragraph" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-16", "subject": "Personal", "saga": "Dilbert has six months to live", "synopsis": "Dilbert calculates he has six months to live, based on his current stress levels.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "calculate", "impact", "health", "life expectancy", "workload", "six months to live", "stress", "remind", "shop", "card" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-17", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dilbert visits a lawyer to draw up a will.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "lawyer" ], "keywords": [ "estate planning", "six months to live", "will", "mentally incompetent", "beneficiary", "moustache", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-18", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dilbert's lawyer says a living trust can eliminate probate costs.", "characters": [ "lawyer", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "estate planning", "probate", "living trust", "inconvenient system", "watch", "witty observation", "moustache", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-19", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert says he will have an early death due to overwork. The Grim Reaper shows up.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Grim Reaper", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "early death", "overwork", "visit", "love my job", "scythe" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-20", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "The Grim Reaper takes Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Grim Reaper", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "antidepressant", "reap", "work", "like", "over my limit", "catch and release", "scythe" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-21", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders why he wasn't afraid of death.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "technically dead", "fear", "cubicle", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-22", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Paul Ooshen prepares for his meeting by adopting scents, oily fingers and annoying sounds.", "characters": [ "Paul Ooshen", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "scent", "hog farm", "rain", "oil", "onion", "nasal sound", "leaky coffee mug", "keyboard", "doughnut" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-23", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Alice invites Tina to work out with her.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Tina", "Jim" ], "keywords": [ "work out", "company gym", "conversation", "security guard", "exhaust", "cow", "milk", "hamburger", "sweatband", "shorts" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-24", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert plans to start selling an anti-itch lotion, but it's really just honey.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "anti-itch lotion", "honey", "disclaimer", "bottle", "customer list", "nice", "bear" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-25", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "The Boss receives an award from the Family-Haters Association.", "characters": [ "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "award", "Family-Haters Association", "anti-family practises", "certificate", "hang", "notice" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-26", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Alice has a bad case of bed hair because she overslept.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Asok", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "overslept", "stare", "bed hair", "confuse", "shower", "unleash", "unhygienic", "fist of death" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-27", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "The Boss praises Dilbert for doing two jobs well, but has no budget for raises.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "two jobs", "well", "budget", "raise", "attaboy", "cheapen", "problem" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-28", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert monitors employee e-mail to look for recently estranged lovers. He uses this information to promote people.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Ted", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "monitor", "e-mail", "estranged lovers", "promotion", "job title", "curse words", "win" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol to phone the police because his car has been stolen. She thinks he forgot where he parked it.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "police", "car", "stolen", "forget", "park", "magic powers", "presto", "appear", "freaky" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-30", "subject": "Presentation", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to make a boring presentation so the CEO will slip into a trance.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "PowerPoint", "bore", "CEO", "trance", "whisper", "subliminal suggestion", "budget", "kill", "monster" ] }, { "date": "2002-12-31", "subject": "Security", "synopsis": "Bob the security guy demonstrates the new biometric security system. It identifies people by their pulse, heat and fingerprints.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Bob security guy", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "biometric", "demonstrate", "system", "pulse", "heat", "fingerprint", "identify" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-01", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Wally's family has been practising selective breeding to leave no biometric information behind.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "generation", "male", "selective breeding", "offspring", "biometric", "pulse", "fingerprint", "DNA", "why", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-02", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert's latest plan is to sell video phones to dimwitted identical twins.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "twin", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "plan", "low cost", "video phone", "identical twins", "long distance", "mirror", "girlfriend" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-03", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Carol tells the Boss a reporter wants to see him about dumping garbage in a park.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "reporter", "garbage", "park", "possible", "secret", "spread" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-04", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "A reporter accosts the Boss about dumping garbage in a park.", "characters": [ "investigative reporter", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "garbage", "dump", "park", "SUV", "vehicle", "scrape", "tire", "television camera", "microphone", "wasteful", "steps", "skull" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces the new member of Dilbert's project team, Ron, aka Mo. Mo has his shirt on backward.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ron", "Mo", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "member", "project", "team", "shirt", "backward", "turn around", "dimension", "pay", "grin", "moron" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-06", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Wally to write a self-evaluation for an upcoming performance review.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "self evaluation", "rate", "core value", "honesty", "integrity", "claim" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-07", "subject": "Office Services", "synopsis": "The Boss says the paper shredding service is being centralised at corporate headquarters.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Asok", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "shredder", "centralise", "corporate headquarters", "eat", "paper", "take" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to schedule one person to do two tasks at the same time.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "software", "schedule", "task", "patch", "month", "timeline", "floopuary" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-09", "subject": "Programming", "synopsis": "The engineers will try extreme programming, where two people work at one computer.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "extreme programming", "partner", "system", "computer", "hate", "software development" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-10", "subject": "Programming", "synopsis": "Dilbert looks at a feature list from a co-worker and tells her he can't create all the features in the first version.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "extreme programming", "feature", "version", "user story", "ruin life", "software development" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-11", "subject": "Programming", "synopsis": "The Boss assigns Dilbert and Wally to work together on a code-writing team, extreme-programming style.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "extreme programming", "code-writing team", "study", "productive", "whistle", "nostril", "harmonica", "software development" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Asok presents an idea to the Boss: let project managers manage their own budgets.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "idea", "project manager", "budget", "big picture", "ignorant", "self-manage", "purr in your general direction", "Monty Python", "tiny fist", "pummel", "evil" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-13", "subject": "Management", "saga": "The Consultick", "synopsis": "A consultick describes his style to the Boss: burrow, suck and never leave.", "characters": [ "Consultick", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "potential client", "burrow", "skin", "suck cash", "track record", "failure", "conflict of interest", "red flag", "consultant", "hair" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces the consultick to his department. The Boss thinks it's OK that the Consultick gives bad advice and is indispensable.", "characters": [ "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "advice", "burrow", "torso", "implement", "convince", "Consultick" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-15", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert offers to remove the Consultick from the Boss's torso.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Consultick" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert's Consultant Removal Service", "burrow", "torso", "cash", "wallet", "operate", "business card" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-16", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert says he can save only one life when he separates the Boss and the Consultick.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Consultick" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "life", "discuss", "recommend", "operation", "knife" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-17", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells the Boss the consultectomy operation was a success.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "drunk man", "Boss", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "consultectomy", "operation", "bed", "cash", "lost", "wallet", "transfusion", "sedate", "happy hour", "genius", "comb over", "martini", "unwilling donor", "stethoscope", "drunk" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Wally to do something but changes his mind after seeing Wally's aura of extreme incompetence.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "request", "assignment", "aura", "radiate", "incompetence", "cool down", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-19", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "How to deal with new work requests when you are already overloaded at the departmental and professional level.", "characters": [ "co-worker", "Boss", "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "request", "scope", "overload", "flexible", "client driven", "responsibility", "avoid", "project", "ignore", "cheerful", "accept" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-20", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dogbert on Dilbert working for an unethical company: Dilbert is loathsome and despicable.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "ethics", "bad person", "loathsome", "despicable", "crud", "shoe", "rehearse" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-21", "subject": "Contractor", "saga": "Lazy beaver wins bid to build technology lab", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to build a new technology lab using the contractor with the lowest bid.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "beaver" ], "keywords": [ "build", "technology lab", "contractor", "bid", "problem", "strategy", "chance to gnaw on wood", "foresee" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-22", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the beaver, lowest bidder, to begin construction on the new technology lab.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "beaver" ], "keywords": [ "bid", "award", "construction", "skill", "craftsmen", "book of excuses", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-23", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains to the Boss why the project is behind schedule: a lazy beaver.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "lazy beaver", "behind schedule", "contractor", "excuse", "return calls", "plan", "promise", "future work" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-24", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert says their PC operating systems need upgrading, and likens it to a form of taxation by an evil shadow government.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "PC" ], "keywords": [ "upgrade", "PC", "operating system", "stable environment", "application", "taxation", "evil", "shadow government", "Microsoft" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-25", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "A vendor wants Dilbert to upgrade his software to the latest version. Only a million dollars.", "characters": [ "vendor", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "upgrade", "software", "version", "decompose", "miasma", "planned obsolescence", "afford", "goodbye", "remote control" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert has to idle away the time when the Boss gets interrupted by the telephone.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "office", "visit", "telephone", "interruption", "wait", "signal", "mind-body connection", "idle", "fiddle", "muscle", "control", "conscious" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-27", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally tells Dilbert he is leaving Dilbert's project for a more successful one.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "psychologist" ], "keywords": [ "bail", "project", "scent of failure", "attach", "survival", "reject", "loser pill" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-28", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Instead of giving Dilbert more project funding, the Boss hires an expensive consultant to analyse the budget.", "characters": [ "Boss", "consultant", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "fund", "harp", "response", "analyse", "budget", "chaos", "complexity simulations", "money" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-29", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert invents the Visibuddy, a mindless replica to attend meetings and increase visibility.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Visibuddy", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "invention", "replica", "meeting", "visibility", "hardly working", "golf", "toll", "robot", "android" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-30", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "The Boss congratulates Dilbert on his excellent visibility lately.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Visibuddy" ], "keywords": [ "visibility", "secret", "replica", "meeting", "personality", "neck bolt", "robot", "android" ] }, { "date": "2003-01-31", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Ming asks Visibuddy, Dilbert's replica, for a date.", "characters": [ "Ming", "Visibuddy", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "ask", "replica", "story", "listen", "clothing", "describe", "cat show", "robot", "android", "fork", "forehead", "restaurant", "wine", "suicide" ] }, { "date": "2003-02-01", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "To save money, the Boss hires a consultant who has many personal problems.", "characters": [ "Boss", "consultant", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "personal problem", "hire", "luck", "ex boyfriend", "chopper", "sober", "cell phone" ] }, { "date": "2003-02-02", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert criticises a co-worker's budget because there is no maintenance. The co-worker takes exception to the engineers always thinking they're right.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "budget", "maintenance", "right", "anticipate", "disagreement", "audio clip", "chimp", "recorder", "jump", "prepare", "PDA" ] }, { "date": "2003-02-03", "subject": "Health", "saga": "Mood altering drugs", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders how correct medications are achieved with doctors' handwriting.", "characters": [ "doctor", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "rash", "mild", "scribble", "indecipherable", "prescription", "handwriting", "pharmacy", "medication", "marketing", "stethoscope" ] }, { "date": "2003-02-04", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "The pharmacist can't read the prescription so wants to give Dilbert a drug to make him happy.", "characters": [ "pharmacist", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "pharmacy", "doctor", "prescription", "handwriting", "mood-altering drug", "happy", "rash", "cash register" ] }, { "date": "2003-02-05", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "The Boss encounters Dilbert, who is under the influence of mood-altering drugs.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "mood-altering drug", "prescription", "rash", "itch", "care", "weasel", "benefits", "cancel" ] }, { "date": "2003-02-06", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells off his project team and calls them lazy, selfish weasels. Dilbert is under the influence of mood-altering drugs.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "project", "death spiral", "selfish", "weasel", "mood-altering drug", "expression", "doctor", "team member", "lazy", "skull" ] }, { "date": "2003-02-07", "subject": "Health", "saga": "Exoskeleton", "synopsis": "Dilbert worries his prescription drug-induced happiness is not genuine happiness.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "doctor" ], "keywords": [ "prescription drugs", "happy", "worry", "cure", "exoskeleton", "bathrobe", "stethoscope" ] }, { "date": "2003-02-08", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Dilbert with an exoskeleton talks to a woman at a party.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "medication", "carefree", "exoskeleton", "beauty", "shellfish", "dating", "martini", "party" ] }, { "date": "2003-02-09", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "After Dilbert designs a perfect product, marketing people want him to add flaws to guarantee future upgrades.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "marketing person", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "design", "needs", "upgrade", "flaw", "interface", "freeze", "electric shock", "marry", "mullet", "diagram" ] }, { "date": "2003-02-10", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dilbert decides free will must be an illusion.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "psychologist" ], "keywords": [ "medication", "exoskeleton", "social life", "chemical", "soul", "free will", "illusion", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "2003-02-11", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Wally wonders if what Dilbert had is contagious. Dilbert says he was addicted to prescription drugs and grew an exoskeleton.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cold", "addiction", "prescription drug", "exoskeleton", "rehab", "surgery", "contagion" ] }, { "date": "2003-02-12", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert asks for blood, hair and urine samples among other things from a potential new hire.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "blood sample", "hair sample", "urine sample", "fingerprint", "background check", "lover", "despicable" ] }, { "date": "2003-02-13", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert is not allowed to give references for ex-employees, he says on the phone.", "characters": [ "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "evil", "reference", "ex employee", "rhyme", "mazy loron", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "2003-02-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks the engineers to stagger their lunch periods so someone is always there.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "stagger", "lunch hour", "coverage", "pecking order", "eat", "pill", "errand" ] }, { "date": "2003-02-15", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The Boss announces huge raises and layoffs.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "good news", "bad news", "raise", "layoff", "ran the numbers" ] }, { "date": "2003-02-16", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The engineers go to see a numbing, where an employee gets numb to the pain of working here.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice", "Ted", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "numbing", "cubicle", "brain", "pain", "work", "beautiful", "happy place" ] }, { "date": "2003-02-17", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Ted interrupts a discussion with Dilbert to take a phone call. Dilbert hates Ted in return.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cell phone", "hate", "inconsiderate guts", "important", "crush", "head" ] }, { "date": "2003-02-18", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "Catbert announces flex time with core hours of eight to five.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "flex time", "hours", "eight to five", "unpaid overtime", "flexible" ] }, { "date": "2003-02-19", "subject": "Interview", "synopsis": "A potential employee tells the Boss he will work 100 hours a week and never ask for a raise.", "characters": [ "interviewee", "Boss", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "hire", "hours", "raise", "top secret", "super geniuses", "resume", "honest" ] }, { "date": "2003-02-20", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally describes his fantasy: to own a motor home and drive it to work and sleep in the parking lot.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "fantasy", "luxury", "motor coach", "drive", "sleep", "paradise", "parking lot", "television", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2003-02-21", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "A sales rep gives Dilbert a list of customer references.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "sales rep" ], "keywords": [ "customer reference", "call", "telephone", "parking lot", "later", "cell phone" ] }, { "date": "2003-02-22", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says they will outsource the IT department, and then hire employees to replace the outsourcing.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "save money", "outsourcing", "IT", "full time", "employee", "panic", "warning sound", "presentation" ] }, { "date": "2003-02-23", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The Boss invites Carol to a strategy meeting. She suggests not using coffee filters as popcorn bags.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "strategy meeting", "secretary", "administrative assistant", "chimp", "shout", "idea", "global domination", "coffee filter", "popcorn", "pantyhose" ] }, { "date": "2003-02-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Wally to do something that has no value to the company.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "assignment", "value", "company politics", "pretend", "actual work" ] }, { "date": "2003-02-25", "subject": "Product", "synopsis": "Dilbert travels four hours to see a product demo of an empty case and a blank CD.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "sales rep" ], "keywords": [ "appointment", "demo", "unit", "case", "empty", "software", "travel", "blank CD", "vendor" ] }, { "date": "2003-02-26", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "The Boss asks a sales rep how often an annual fee is charged.", "characters": [ "Boss", "sales rep", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "annual fee", "joke", "serious", "monthly", "how often" ] }, { "date": "2003-02-27", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces a new co-worker, Toxic Tom who constantly complains.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Toxic Tom", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "complain", "interview", "new hire", "happy", "stupid", "question" ] }, { "date": "2003-02-28", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Toxic Tom tells Alice other employees are talking about her, but he defends her.", "characters": [ "Toxic Tom", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "believe", "defend", "slow", "bloat", "salary" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The engineers demand the Boss fire the new Toxic Guy. Wally mistakenly believes they're talking about him.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "fire", "Toxic Tom", "demand", "lazy", "ineffectual", "overlay", "selfish", "hate" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-02", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dogbert answers a tech support call and demands many hoops to be jumped through before help can happen.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "telephone handset", "penetrate", "inscrutable", "audio menu", "queue", "computer", "freeze", "reboot", "baffle", "problem", "optimism", "name", "address", "telephone number", "operating system", "e-mail address", "serial number", "software version", "video driver" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains to the Boss his e-mails aren't answered.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "respond", "vicious cycle", "voice-mail" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-04", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "The Boss reads a memo about the new statue by the front entrance isn't really a statue. It was someone who wouldn't stop feeding the birds.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "facilities management", "statue", "feed the birds", "statistical clustering", "blah", "example" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-05", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Wally tells how he is adding chronic lateness to his repertoire.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "chronic lateness", "repertoire", "excuse", "car problems", "traffic", "mayor of loserville", "jinx" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-06", "subject": "Professional", "saga": "Wally's Loser Magazine interview", "synopsis": "A reporter from \"Loser Magazine\" comes to visit Wally.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "loser magazine", "reporter", "cover feature", "break room", "nap", "show-off" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-07", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "A reporter from \"Loser Magazine\" interviews Wally.", "characters": [ "reporter", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "loser magazine", "interview", "borrow", "pen", "question", "chew", "beard", "comb over" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-08", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "A reporter from \"Loser Magazine\" really likes Wally's story, but didn't write it down.", "characters": [ "reporter", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "loser magazine", "story", "write", "forget", "make something up", "photo", "model", "famous", "beard", "comb over" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-09", "subject": "Product", "synopsis": "Dilbert invents the eargarette, a cigarette for ears.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "invention", "eargarette", "ear", "cigarette", "smoke break", "deaf", "ear mint", "non smoker", "downside" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-10", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to sell life insurance to Dilbert. There's a long list of exclusions.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "life insurance", "exclusion", "wound", "illness", "criminal act", "sports", "war", "pistol duel", "stubble", "fine print" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol about his no-show appointment.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol", "man" ], "keywords": [ "appointment", "moron", "late", "respect", "traffic", "stuck" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-12", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert why his cell phone isn't working. Dilbert says it's a short-range cell phone.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Asok", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "cell phone", "short range", "same room", "answer", "TV remote control" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-13", "subject": "Product", "synopsis": "Wally reports on his research into Greek words for the name of their new product.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "research", "name", "Greek words", "Zeus", "Parthenon", "sports event", "Olympics" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-14", "subject": "Strategy", "synopsis": "A customer tells Dilbert his company is moving to a just-in-time inventory strategy.", "characters": [ "customer", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "just in time", "inventory strategy", "deliver", "success", "promise", "deepest sympathy", "chest pain" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-15", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Dilbert reports a customer wants the stuff they bought, but Dilbert can't deliver.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "customer", "deliver", "lie", "business", "money", "winner", "thief" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-16", "subject": "Organisation", "synopsis": "Asok tells how he indirectly reports to everyone in the department.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "introduce", "meeting", "reporting line", "fuzzy", "irregular", "food-service cashier" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks the engineers for ideas for morale-enhancement day. Alice wants to play pin-the-tail-on-the-PHB.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Catbert", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "brainstorm", "idea", "morale-enhancement day", "pin the tail", "breath", "smell", "weekend", "weasel", "feet" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-18", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "A marketing rep describes how their rebate program can't actually be used by anyone.", "characters": [ "marketing guy", "customer", "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "rebate program", "cost", "impenetrable fortress", "unclear instructions", "hidden number", "weasel", "physical impossibility", "serial number" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-19", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The CEO will be secretary for a day for the department that cuts the most costs.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "secretary", "cut cost", "competition", "implication", "trivial", "prize", "train", "telephone", "yell" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-20", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The CEO shows up to replace Carol as secretary for a day.", "characters": [ "Boss", "CEO", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "secretary", "cost cutting", "contest", "failure", "darkness", "motivation" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-21", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to get user requirements from a co-worker, but the co-worker doesn't want to provide them.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "system", "requirements", "build", "needs", "frighten", "actual work", "crazy talk" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-22", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains to the Boss he can't get user requirements to start the project.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "requirements", "start", "make", "unhelpful", "hide", "competence" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-23", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Jimmy from Marketing tells how their next ad campaign will be aimed at sick people because 96% of their customers have had flu symptoms.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Jimmy", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "strategy", "customer", "flu symptoms", "sick", "ad campaign", "cause and effect", "study", "reinvent a dead horse", "meeting dimension", "duh-mension" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to \"tin cup\" each department, to ask for parts of their budgets.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "manager" ], "keywords": [ "budget", "tin cup", "project", "ask", "laugh your guts out", "beggar", "organ" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-25", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert, furniture psychic", "synopsis": "Dogbert becomes a psychic because people believe in that kind of thing.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Carol", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "feng shui", "pet psychic", "career", "suggest", "furniture psychic", "wastebasket", "love", "desk", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-26", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert channels for the furniture, who communicate to the Boss.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "furniture psychic", "chair", "pass", "squeak", "communicate", "gum", "desk", "swami hat", "cry" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-27", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to talk Dogbert out of being a furniture psychic.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "furniture psychic", "company", "mislead", "active", "marketing", "swami hat", "hypocrite" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-28", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Wally presents the Boss with a list of people who could be potentially laid off.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "initiative", "list", "potential layoffs", "telephone list", "efficiency" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss receives a telling off by his boss, and passes his frustration on to Dilbert.", "characters": [ "vice president", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "fool", "stupid", "coffee mug" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-30", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The CEO joins the meeting and attempts to be one of the ordinary people.", "characters": [ "Boss", "CEO", "driver", "Dilbert", "Asok", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "awkward attempt", "just plain folk", "chair", "secretary", "irony", "helicopter", "blue jeans", "tractor", "island fortress", "fox hunt", "average", "real work", "intern" ] }, { "date": "2003-03-31", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert the headhunter describes the quality of his CEO placements: some are better than others.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "headhunter", "placement", "CEO", "performance", "budget", "magic 8 ball", "eight ball" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-01", "subject": "Personality", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Dilbert and Peri Noid.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Peri Noid", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "team member", "meet", "meeting", "paranoid", "hand", "soft and clammy", "undead", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-02", "subject": "Personality", "synopsis": "Peri Noid interrupts a meeting.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Peri Noid", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "data", "invitation", "meeting", "enjoy", "plot", "paranoid" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-03", "subject": "Personality", "synopsis": "Dilbert takes Peri Noid to the shop for repairing defective co-workers.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Garbageman", "Peri Noid" ], "keywords": [ "fireman's carry", "repair defective co-workers", "paranoid", "trade in", "moron", "liar", "whistler", "cash register" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-04", "subject": "Personality", "synopsis": "The Garbageman tells Dilbert defective co-workers can't be repaired, only traded in.", "characters": [ "Garbageman", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "repair", "defective co-worker", "trade in", "defect", "discover", "hair", "part in the middle" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-05", "subject": "Personality", "synopsis": "Dilbert introduces Carol to Harry Middlepart.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Carol", "Harry Middlepart" ], "keywords": [ "new guy", "approve", "hair style", "fashion", "workspace", "forbid", "seventies", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-06", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Carol sends out an unimportant e-mail to the company. co-workers then clog the servers with complaints.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Ted", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "pen", "e-mail", "mailing list", "complain", "company wide", "reply to all", "feature", "correction", "overload", "bid deadline", "layoffs" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-07", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert encourages a CEO to change jobs with praise.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "headhunter", "telephone", "stock", "CEO", "credit", "random upturns", "legal", "book", "victim" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-08", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert rewords a CEO's resume: don't use the word \"plundered.\"", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "CEO" ], "keywords": [ "headhunter", "resume", "plunder", "reword", "sucker", "P\/E ratio", "stockholder value" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-09", "subject": "Security", "saga": "The Boss's body double", "synopsis": "Dogbert suggests the Boss get a body double.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "body double", "popular", "despot", "ambush", "decision", "take the hit", "personal dress code", "disguise", "wig", "false nose" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-10", "subject": "Security", "synopsis": "The Boss instructs Asok on how to be his body double.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "body double", "ambush", "false hair", "wig", "false nose", "trap", "disguise" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-11", "subject": "Security", "synopsis": "The Boss sends his body double out to scowl and walk around in the cubicles.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "body double", "leave early", "appointment", "dentist", "cubicle", "scowl", "menace", "wig", "false nose", "disguise" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-12", "subject": "Product", "synopsis": "Ted reports on the name for the new product: Geneous mistro.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "geneous mistro", "orchestra", "conduct", "data", "domain name", "irony", "spell" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-13", "subject": "Investment", "synopsis": "Dilbert takes his business case to some venture capitalists. They sandbag him with useless what-ifs.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "venture capitalist" ], "keywords": [ "business case", "wisdom", "resource", "billion dollars", "stock", "revenue", "burn", "factory", "civil unrest", "cash flow", "Microsoft", "IBM", "market", "lawsuit", "natural disaster", "locusts" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The VP has complained about people leaving too early. The Boss asks people to not walk past his office.", "characters": [ "Boss", "VP", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "mad", "leaving work early", "leap", "dumpster", "alley", "leadership", "triumph" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-15", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "Dilbert has been accused by nameless co-workers of having unspecified shortcomings.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "co-worker", "nameless", "accuse", "shortcoming", "witness protection program" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-16", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "Asok's performance has been excellent but the Boss puts in a rating of \"poor.\"", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "excellent", "rate", "poor", "paper trail", "fire", "surge", "motivation", "feedback", "cry" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-17", "subject": "Personality", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Dilbert to Irene, who has mood swings.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Irene" ], "keywords": [ "defect", "rude", "yell", "piece of dirt", "mood swing", "hug" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-18", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "A woman asks Dilbert for advice about digital cameras.", "characters": [ "woman", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "digital camera", "doctor", "free advice", "physical", "appetiser", "duty", "engineer", "stethoscope" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-19", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Ted's six month training of a new employee turns out to be a practical joke.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ted", "new hire" ], "keywords": [ "training", "practical joke", "criminally abusive behaviour", "fun", "fine line" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-20", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The Boss gives Dilbert a script for the meeting with the CEO.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "CEO" ], "keywords": [ "script", "smooth", "proclaim admiration", "leadership", "motivation", "moist", "eye", "onion", "underling", "morale", "cry" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-21", "subject": "Health", "saga": "Wally in coffee rehab", "synopsis": "Wally complains to the Boss about a hostile work environment.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "hostile", "work environment", "pressure", "coffee", "cut back" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-22", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Catbert sends Wally to a coffee rehab program.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally", "orderly" ], "keywords": [ "coffee rehab", "program", "forty cups", "double digits", "monster", "survive" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-23", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Wally, entering coffee rehab, learns the rules of the place.", "characters": [ "rehab worker", "Wally", "orderly" ], "keywords": [ "coffee rehab", "soda", "tea", "chocolate", "luggage", "carry", "bag", "cup", "contraband" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-24", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "A coffee rehab worker wants people to introduce themselves and say how long they've been without coffee.", "characters": [ "rehab worker", "man", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "coffee rehab", "meeting", "name", "beard", "death", "beat", "panic", "sleep", "goatee", "podium", "microphone" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-25", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Wally completes his coffee rehab program.", "characters": [ "rehab worker", "Wally", "taxi driver" ], "keywords": [ "coffee rehab", "finish", "congratulations", "recidivism", "critic", "blame", "location", "Starbucks", "world headquarters", "vat", "taxi", "goatee" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-26", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert describes the breakthrough that came when the processor load was distributed. A co-worker celebrates because he gave advice.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "presentation", "breakthrough", "distribute", "processor load", "advice", "laser pointer", "lightsabre", "torso", "joke" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-27", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "The Boss describes how the customer disservice program has been expanded.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "customer", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "customer support", "disservice", "technical", "telephone", "hold", "support database", "article", "support group", "train", "manufacturing", "shipping" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-28", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants more business cards but doesn't know how many to order. Carol doesn't want to give him too many because he might be laid off.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "business cards", "depend", "complex formula", "burn rate", "layoff", "likelihood" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-29", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Dogbert he has been seeing signs of impending layoffs and worries he might be next.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Catbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "sign", "layoff", "imagination", "ignore", "admit", "jumpy", "you might be next" ] }, { "date": "2003-04-30", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Dogbert suggests to Dilbert he can survive the next round of layoffs by sacrificing a co-worker. Make the other guy look worse.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "co-worker", "Boss", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "survive", "round", "layoff", "sacrifice", "co-worker", "worse", "believe", "explain", "revenue", "embezzlement", "customer" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-01", "subject": "Project", "saga": "Wally collects inspirational quotes for the lobby walls.", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Wally to collect inspirational quotes for the lobby walls.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "unimportant", "inspirational quote", "lobby", "wall", "eagle", "idea", "few" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-02", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Alice contributes to Wally's collection of inspirational quotes.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "inspirational quote", "lobby", "wall", "collect", "get out", "cubicle", "freakish", "carbon", "elevator" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-03", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Wally hands his collection of inspirational quotes over to the Boss.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "inspirational quote", "lobby", "wall", "Hannibal Lecter", "Donner Party", "cannibal", "mistake", "empty stomach" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-04", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Wally teaches Asok how to work smarter, not harder.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Wally", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "teach", "work smarter", "not harder", "important", "document", "walk", "pretend", "problem", "shirt", "toothpaste", "launder", "minty" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-05", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Wally plans to prop his head up with his arm during meetings.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "head", "heavier", "thought", "compensate", "prop", "goal", "stamp" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-06", "subject": "Business", "saga": "public relations improvement for Elbonia", "synopsis": "Elbonia turns to Dogbert to improve their image.", "characters": [ "Elbonian", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "public relations", "reputation", "image", "leprechaun", "mud", "export", "vegetarian", "backlash" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-07", "subject": "Advertising", "synopsis": "Dogbert counters Elbonia's bad reputation for exporting leprechaun meat.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "public relations", "Elbonia", "press", "leprechaun", "ad campaign", "frying pan", "tenderise", "television camera", "beret" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-08", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to improve Elbonia's image by buying influence in Washington.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Elbonian", "congressman in Washington" ], "keywords": [ "public relations", "Elbonia", "influence", "Washington DC", "expensive", "gum", "vote" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-09", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss does some drive-by management and stresses Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "doctor" ], "keywords": [ "revenue", "estimate", "research", "support", "stress", "drive-by management", "flashlight", "stethoscope" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains he is a victim of drive-by management.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "victim", "drive-by management", "spray", "irrational orders", "waddle", "empathy", "bandage" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-11", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert warns Asok to not make eye contact with Ernie, who tried unsuccessfully to retire early.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Asok", "Ernie", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "eye contact", "unpackageable", "severance package", "retire", "bliss", "self-pity", "organic vessel", "fishing", "cry" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to write a rebuttal to his own technical recommendation so the Boss can reject it.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "rebuttal", "technical recommendation", "reject", "insubordination", "mock" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-13", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The Boss hires Phil, ruler of Heck, to act as devil's advocate.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Phil", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "devil's advocate", "roll my eyes", "sarcasm", "certified", "move on" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-14", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "Alice controls the window shades from the corner cubicle.", "synopsis": "Alice plans to move to the corner cubicle and control the window shades.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "corner cubicle", "prestigious", "window shades", "control", "harness the sun", "glare" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-15", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice controls the window shades. Dilbert and Wally panic.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "corner cubicle", "control", "window shades", "life support", "magnifying glass" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-16", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Catbert confronts Alice about using a giant magnifying glass as a death ray.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Alice", "Ted", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "magnifying glass", "death ray", "toupee", "burn" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss how he knows which management techniques work best.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "technique", "logic", "books", "trick", "mad" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-18", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert transfers Ted for making unflattering comments about the company to the press.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "headcount", "fire", "comment", "press", "evil", "transfer", "assembly line", "head in a vice", "living for the weekend" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-19", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Alice realises her career consists mostly of asking the Boss for stuff.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "career", "ask for stuff", "wonder", "wait", "remind", "memory" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-20", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert reveals the company can't afford to hire qualified employees.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "afford", "hire", "qualified employees", "dumb", "angry", "pretend", "basic nature", "motivation" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-21", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally plans to convince the Boss Wally is invisible.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "long term", "convince", "invisible", "paid", "sweet", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-22", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Asok complains his job does not stimulate his mind.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "stimulate", "mind", "tiger", "meat", "feed", "analogy", "zebra" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-23", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss replaced their plant-watering service with a less expensive one, he says.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "plant-watering service", "fire", "hire", "plastic", "turn around" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-24", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "A VP tells the Boss to focus on execution. The Boss thinks he has to execute people.", "characters": [ "VP", "Boss", "Catbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "focus", "execution", "think", "accident", "staff meeting", "cry" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Tim his promotion has just come through, and really builds it up.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Tim" ], "keywords": [ "promotion", "paperwork", "news", "candidate", "opportunity", "lackey", "cry", "good news", "speciality", "mistaken identity" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to summarise a report down to one page. Dilbert says it will lose meaning.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "summarise", "one page", "obliterate", "persuasiveness", "cost", "wordy" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-27", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert wants to offer unpaid vacation to all employees as long as their managers approve it.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "unpaid vacation", "approve", "downsize", "overstaff", "hug", "purr" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-28", "subject": "Product", "synopsis": "A magazine pans the company's product because they didn't buy enough ad space.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "review", "issue", "Extortion Magazine", "ad space", "week-old spit", "advertising" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-29", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "During a meeting, everyone's cell phone rings and everyone leaves, leaving the Boss alone.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "cell phone", "ring", "emergency", "crisis", "faith", "coincidence" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-30", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "The new product brochures have won design awards but overstate its product capabilities.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "product", "brochure", "design award", "win", "believe", "complain" ] }, { "date": "2003-05-31", "subject": "Product", "synopsis": "Dilbert suggests some of the claims in the new product brochure be scaled back.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "scale back", "brochure", "claim", "diplomatic immunity", "felony", "poetic license", "motor oil", "root beer", "crime" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-01", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice asks Single-Task Bob for his revenue projections but he can't multitask and tells her about it.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Single-Task Bob" ], "keywords": [ "revenue projection", "single task", "e-mail", "song", "multitask", "binder", "read", "comprehend" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss has a trap door installed in his office to work with his open door policy.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "trap door", "open door policy", "whiner", "drop", "rush hour traffic", "splat", "remember" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-03", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to open a casino for people with bad luck.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "casino", "gamble", "bad luck" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-04", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert presents his case for a casino to the gaming commission.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "gaming commissioner", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "casino", "moron", "gaming commission", "dolt", "take advantage", "microphone", "hearing", "personal gain" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-05", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Catbert tells Ted layoffs improve morale because it demonstrates management can make tough decisions.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "personnel", "morale", "layoff", "tough decision", "optimistic", "fired", "turn around" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces management wants to keep key employees around during hard times by giving retention bonuses.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "retain", "key employees", "hard times", "retention bonuses", "blackmail" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says new product revenue will mean survival for the company.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "future of the company", "revenue", "product", "slash", "budget", "research and development", "future", "doomed" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-08", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "A client for Dogbert's career counselling wants a job where he can talk and people must listen.", "characters": [ "client", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "career counselling", "roll", "eyes", "phhht", "babble", "blame", "punish", "management", "aptitude test", "idea", "mistake" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-09", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss brags to a customer their company has the highest profit margin in the entire industry.", "characters": [ "Boss", "customer", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "profit margin", "high", "whisper" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-10", "subject": "Personal", "saga": "Alice considers a stay-at-home husband to support her career", "synopsis": "Alice describes her vision of a perfect husband -- one who cooks, cleans and raises the kids.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Bobby", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "husband", "cook", "clean", "career", "kids", "turn on", "yoo-hoo", "lemon wedges", "apron", "live" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-11", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Alice talks to Bobby about him being her stay-at-home husband.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Bobby" ], "keywords": [ "stay-at-home husband", "career", "chocolate", "cold", "hot", "apron" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-12", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Alice talks to Bobby about him being a stay-at-home father.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Bobby" ], "keywords": [ "stay-at-home father", "marriage", "children", "lifestyle", "servant", "iron", "restaurant" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-13", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Alice asks the Garbageman about a possible husband who would stay at home.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Garbageman", "Bobby" ], "keywords": [ "marriage", "homemaking skills", "present-value", "cash-flow", "comparison", "trained monkeys", "apron", "cry", "trashcan", "trench coat" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-14", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "The Boss says Dilbert's defects are described in chapter 23 of the book he is reading.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "defect", "chapter", "book", "photocopy", "fix", "information" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-15", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "The Boss discovers everything in his office feels clammy.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "desk", "chair", "clammy", "feel", "telephone", "mouse", "hand", "underpants" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-16", "subject": "Fashion", "saga": "Dilbert goes on a sales call to the Vatican", "synopsis": "The Boss sends Dilbert on a sales call to the Vatican.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "international sales call", "dress", "level", "customer", "cherub", "lightning bolt", "Vatican", "beard", "disguise", "costume" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-17", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains why he is dressed like a religious person to the woman beside him on a plane.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "plane", "Vatican", "sales call", "dress", "worry", "giant hand", "airplane", "beard", "disguise", "costume" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-18", "subject": "Fashion", "synopsis": "The plane Dilbert has been travelling on has been grabbed by a giant hand.", "characters": [ "pilot", "Dilbert", "news reader", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "sales call", "giant hand", "grab", "Vatican", "television news", "funny", "airplane", "beard", "disguise", "costume" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-19", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "The doctor recommends Carol switch to decaf coffee so she replaces all of the office coffee with decaf for her own convenience.", "characters": [ "doctor", "Carol", "Wally", "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "coffee", "decaf", "replace", "office", "convenience", "antidote", "sleep", "stethoscope", "caffeine withdrawal" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-20", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for suggestions on how to eliminate $200,000 of worthless fat. Everyone has a suggestion.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "presentation", "eliminate", "worthless fat", "hand", "participation" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-21", "subject": "Presentation", "synopsis": "The Boss awards the employee of the year to... no one.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "employee of the year", "luck", "jealousy", "trophy", "podium", "microphone", "award ceremony" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-22", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "Alice experiences the seven stages of a performance review in quick succession.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "seven stages", "denial", "anger", "bargaining", "depression", "acceptance", "trash-talking", "lunch", "falafel", "objective", "morale", "budget", "raise" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-23", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "The Boss announces the company will take a one-time charge to write down the value of their merger. It's a really big number.", "characters": [ "Boss", "marketing guy", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "merger", "one-time charge", "write down", "number", "frooglepoopillion", "goatee" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss and Dogbert figure out how to announce their record losses in a way their management looks good.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "record losses", "announce", "inebriated simian miscreants", "graphics department" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-25", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert helps the Boss smell like a good manager.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "good", "smell", "breath", "fiery concoction", "agree", "Dogbert's Management Breath Enhancer", "cigarettes", "shovel", "coffee", "bullshit" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-26", "subject": "Accounting", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Accounting what would happen if they wrote off some bone-headed mistakes. The troll's head explodes.", "characters": [ "Boss", "accounting troll" ], "keywords": [ "what if", "profit", "bone-headed mistake", "explode", "worst case scenario" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-27", "subject": "Accounting", "synopsis": "Dilbert reads the press release about the company's record loss. Their CEO steps down with a nice profit.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "press release", "record loss", "CEO", "step down", "tenure", "shareholders", "who's your daddy" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-28", "subject": "Accounting", "synopsis": "Dilbert is embarrassed to tell people where he works because of the massive loss.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "frooglepoopillion", "embarrass", "afraid", "truth", "policy", "pay attention" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-29", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice is upset because she comes in four hours earlier than Wally.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "late", "early", "coffee", "bagel", "lifetime", "work", "pay", "die", "smarter", "curse", "strategy", "extra tasty" ] }, { "date": "2003-06-30", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Ted calls a meeting to do a sanity check on his project. He complains flaming squirrels are eating his tongue.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "sanity check", "flaming squirrel", "eat", "tongue" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-01", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dogbert shows the Boss some books that have inspired great leaders for centuries.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "book", "inspire", "pyramid", "pharaoh", "naughty" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-02", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "Dilbert cautions the Boss not to touch his prototype in case there's an electrical shock. He does anyway.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "prototype", "touch", "shock", "electricity", "zap", "contrary", "tool", "safety goggles", "lab coat", "circuit board", "gizmo", "scorch" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces some company strategies which seem obvious to everyone.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "strategy", "revenue", "product", "obvious", "idea", "eliminate waste" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-04", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice is annoyed by her cubicle neighbour's constant use of a cell phone.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "cell phone", "cubicle annoyances", "steal", "flush", "every two minutes", "metallic", "noise" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-05", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Phil is losing at cards to a snowman, so he turns up the thermostat.", "characters": [ "Phil", "Snowball" ], "keywords": [ "heck", "winning streak", "poker", "thermostat", "heat", "furnace", "cold", "cell phone", "snowman" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-06", "subject": "Science", "synopsis": "A mother helps Dilbert test a new invention -- a toddler noise cancellation device.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "mother", "toddler" ], "keywords": [ "test", "invention", "telephone", "noise cancellation", "visual", "tantrum", "button", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol to print out the company web site and put it in a binder for easy reference.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "print", "web site", "binder", "reference", "translate", "Klingon", "dictionary maker" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-08", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert looks for a new job online and discovers an advertisement for his own job.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "bad day", "worse", "job hunting", "online", "qualify" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-09", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "The Boss asks everyone to report violations of the company's new corporate code of ethics.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "violate", "corporate code of ethics", "report", "ship", "product", "defective", "meeting", "lie" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-10", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "The Boss's wife tells him his children have grown up and moved away.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Boss's wife" ], "keywords": [ "telephone", "working", "children", "plan", "grow up", "move away" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-11", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert announces no more free soft drinks and no more free coffee and no more free bottled water.", "characters": [ "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "policy", "free", "soft drink", "coffee", "bottled water", "saliva", "future" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-12", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert reports their new e-mail spam blocker is stopping all incoming and outgoing messages.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "spam blocker", "software", "worthless", "sentient", "demoralise", "fear", "calendar" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to write up the company's technology strategy. Dilbert doesn't know what that is.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "technology strategy", "duh", "stock", "sell" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-14", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A Cluttermeleon lines his cubicle nest with printed debris.", "characters": [ "Cluttermeleon", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "lines his nest", "debris", "predator", "lair", "disguise" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-15", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Tina complains in a twelve-page e-mail about her carpal tunnel syndrome and the lack to time to do any work.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "request", "e-mail", "complaint", "description", "carpal tunnel", "problem", "chapter", "pain" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-16", "subject": "Interview", "saga": "A bad newspaper article about the company's product and a corporate witch hunt", "synopsis": "A business reporter interviews Dilbert about their new product line and how dumb or dynamic it is.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "business reporter", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "telephone", "Wall Times Post Gazette", "interview", "story", "dumb", "dynamic", "product", "nickname", "CEO" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss complains to Catbert about what an engineer said to a reporter.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "engineer", "reporter", "newspaper", "technology", "putrid", "complaint", "witch hunt" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice if she talked to a reporter about their product. She tells him she did not.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "witch hunt", "product", "reporter", "honour", "promise", "divining rod" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-19", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss has narrowed the list to seventeen suspects who might have talked with the reporter.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "witch hunt", "list", "suspect", "reporter", "e-mail", "telephone records", "linguistic patterns", "punish" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-20", "subject": "Outsourcing", "synopsis": "Dilbert presents a list of functions that should be outsourced. It is pretty well everything.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "list", "presentation", "management", "sales", "marketing", "quality control", "core competence", "raise", "strategy", "engineer", "finance", "human resources", "customer support", "honest", "retribution" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-21", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to use a medium to contact dead people to work for him.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "dead people", "yap", "psychic", "television", "test", "software", "medium", "punish" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-22", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Carol notes Dilbert hasn't finished his mandatory six sigma training.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "six sigma", "mandatory", "crash", "data", "new on this planet", "online" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-23", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally gets Dilbert's steel rod bent into a U-shape by giving it to Alice and then taunting her.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "steel rod", "bend", "tweak", "steel spike award", "highest paid", "tool", "gizmo", "male", "sexist" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-24", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Tina went on a date with an unemployed man and called it an unfunded man date.", "characters": [ "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "dating", "unemployed", "unfunded man date", "laugh", "delivery", "mandate" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss suggests some changes to an irrelevant document.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "document", "review", "suggestion", "unnecessary change", "irrelevant", "happy", "dance", "whistle" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-26", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert offers to name a subatomic particle after Dilbert -- for a fee.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "subatomic particle", "satisfied customer", "Arthur C. Quark", "George Meson", "unsigned certificate", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-27", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to absorb Ted's function, since Ted was surplussed.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "surplus", "absorb", "function", "osmosis", "synergy", "symbiosis", "reality", "monkey-brained mistakes", "key learning" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-28", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "A new ad campaign is planned, using recently dead people because of budget cuts.", "characters": [ "marketing guy", "director", "Boss", "Wally", "cameraman" ], "keywords": [ "ad campaign", "artist", "sell out", "budget cut", "dead", "decompose", "makeup", "guitar", "bullhorn", "goatee", "suspenders", "television camera" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-29", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "A sales guy presents a quote that includes absolutely every expense. Alice wants to make sure there are no hidden costs.", "characters": [ "sales guy", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "price quote", "expense", "Alice side agreement", "sign", "hidden costs", "punch", "you freaking weasel", "contract" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-30", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss hires a woman who laughs at everything whether it's funny or not.", "characters": [ "Boss", "laughing woman", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "laugh", "funny", "hire", "impact", "morale", "cubicle", "loud", "computer" ] }, { "date": "2003-07-31", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert decides to criticise everything he doesn't understand.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "criticise", "understand", "flat tax", "Kyoto Treaty", "security council", "stem cells", "bah", "ear" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to write a report why Pointy-Haired Carl should report to the Boss.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "nemesis", "Pointy-Haired Carl", "software division", "report", "unclean", "secret", "difference", "hardware" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to take over Pointy-Haired Carl's software division, and starts by asking everyone to do software jobs as well as their own.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "nemesis", "Pointy-Haired Carl", "software division", "goal", "takeover", "hypothetical", "secret", "money" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-03", "subject": "Outsourcing", "synopsis": "Dilbert says their outsourced customer service has been subcontracted many times, right back to themselves.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "disturbing news", "customer service", "India", "Mexico", "Vietnam", "Philippines", "subcontract", "hose", "raise", "price" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Tina to add some customer success stories to the company's web site by changing some complaint letters.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "customer success stories", "web site", "complaint letters", "kick", "kiss", "butt", "ass" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-05", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Carol tries to make the Boss lose his language skills by using words in the wrong context.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "language skills", "word", "context", "adopt", "truculent", "obelisk", "doctrinaire", "cervically" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-06", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Tina asks Dilbert for a project description and projected cost. Dilbert says that's impossible due to the project uncertainty principle.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "description", "cost", "impossible", "project uncertainty principle", "vice versa" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to know why Dilbert needs a new server and doesn't want a condescending, simplified explanation.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "justify", "server", "condescending simple version", "explanation", "early civilisation", "zero" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-08", "subject": "Weather", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss to close the office due to imminent bad weather.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "close", "forecast", "blizzard", "freezing rain", "tsunami", "lava flow", "ball lightning", "killer bees", "snow tires" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-09", "subject": "Presentation", "synopsis": "A presenter concludes a two-hour presentation by asking for questions. Dilbert asks why the presentation was incomprehensible.", "characters": [ "presenter", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "conclusion", "question", "intent", "PowerPoint", "content", "incomprehensible", "diagram", "disability" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-10", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "A project manager asks why Wally has charged so many hours to her project when all he did was attend a one-hour meeting.", "characters": [ "project manager", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "hours", "time card", "meeting", "preparation", "evaluate" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss recognises Walter for five years of service when in fact he has been there for thirty years.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Walter" ], "keywords": [ "service awards", "recognise", "sick day", "certificate" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-12", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "Asok is asking everyone to prioritise their budget requests. Everyone says theirs is highest priority.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "priority", "request", "highest of the high", "agree", "mockery" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-13", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "The Boss says the Legal Department wants all documents destroyed that show the company knows their products are defective.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "legal department", "document", "destroy", "product", "defective", "eat", "user specifications", "chew" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-14", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "The Boss acknowledges Alice has single-handedly designed and launched a billion dollar line of new products.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "design", "single-handed", "product launch", "accomplishment", "meets expectations" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss for permission to act without approval from the software committee.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "approve", "committee", "soar", "eagle", "save", "sidetrack", "analogy", "software" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-16", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice talks with a man who couldn't give direct answers.", "characters": [ "Alice", "the man who couldn't give direct answers" ], "keywords": [ "approval", "explain process", "hard way", "meeting" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-17", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Dogbert reviews the network security product, its user guide and the tech-support department. All are bad.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "network security product", "buggy", "user guide", "evil", "tech support", "chimpanzee", "strategy", "quiver", "inebriated", "drunk", "typewriter", "consulting services", "victim", "customer" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-18", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert is in the process of firing a guy with multiple personalities. He has fired three personalities this morning.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "fire", "multiple personalities", "cowboy", "little girl", "astronaut", "twin", "mime" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-19", "subject": "Project", "note": "Correct and \"broken\" versions of this strip were published. The Boss's dialogue was missing from the first panel (\"I'll deliver it to them\").", "synopsis": "Dilbert has to get a bid delivered that cannot be late. The Boss volunteers to deliver it.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "bid", "Galatikus", "late", "disqualified", "Irish line dancing", "lesson", "deliver" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-20", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "The Boss criticises Dilbert for failing to win the Galatikus bid, when it was the Boss who didn't deliver the bid on time.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "fail", "primary objective", "Galatikus", "bid", "seduce", "Irish line dancing", "blame" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-21", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Asok reads an offencive spam e-mail.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "Tiffany", "yagga wagga", "spam filter", "eye", "porn" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-22", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains all people he deals with seems to disappoint him.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "disappoint", "deal with", "meeting", "mislead", "deadline", "shoddy", "empathy", "block", "wall" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-23", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Alice always clicks on something when the Boss approaches, he notices.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "click", "computer", "approach", "company time", "filthy images", "obvious" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-24", "subject": "Interview", "synopsis": "The Boss interviews a candidate and hires him because he's so wonderful.", "characters": [ "new hire", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "team member", "poor", "blind", "money", "cry", "hire", "ESP", "instinct", "mitten", "skill", "experience" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss seeks opinions to base his decision on.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "opinion", "translation", "decision", "trash talk", "advice", "mental", "crazy idea" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-26", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "The Boss tries to impress a potential customer with irrelevant data.", "characters": [ "Boss", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "product", "lines of code", "translation", "irrelevant data", "ecru", "key", "car" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-27", "subject": "Interview", "synopsis": "A job candidate has three masters degrees and a PhD, but no common sense.", "characters": [ "Boss", "man" ], "keywords": [ "masters degree", "PhD", "impress", "common sense", "moustache", "goatee" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-28", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A PhD thinks they should give up negotiating with vendors.", "characters": [ "PhD", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "PhD", "opinion", "negotiate", "vendor", "money", "embarrass", "shave", "moustache", "goatee" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-29", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally looks busy as he hears the Boss approaching.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "computer", "click", "magic management necklace" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for a special management keyboard instead of one that looks like everyone else's.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "keyboard", "special key", "new alphabet", "discover", "draw" ] }, { "date": "2003-08-31", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A new employee introduces himself. Wally doesn't want to meet him.", "characters": [ "Matt", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "first day", "new employee", "anonymous", "business card", "worry", "new hire" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Alice to find the good thing in any bad situation.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "times are tough", "optimism", "good", "bad", "wild pigs", "cute" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to do the simple technical solution without waiting for the internal approvals.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "technical solution", "simple", "fortune", "internal approvals", "vast herd", "dolt" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-03", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The engineers try to decide where to eat. Mike the vegan joins in.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice", "Mike the vegan", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "lunch", "eat", "vegan", "pounce", "hunger", "choice" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-04", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Mike the vegan will use no animal product whatsoever.", "characters": [ "Mike the vegan", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "vegan", "animal product", "shun", "clothes", "electricity", "sewing machine", "coal", "oil", "dinosaur", "nude", "exception" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-05", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Asok wants to know how to handle the pressure of a stalled career.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "psychological pressure", "stalled career", "reach for the stars", "hopeless", "goal", "burn" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss gives Dilbert another top-priority assignment.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "priority", "career", "slip", "mound of rubble", "desk" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says he didn't get an urgent request for resources even though Alice reminded him many times.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "urgent request", "respond", "resource", "forgot", "e-mail", "voicemail", "tattoo", "torso", "chest", "hair" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-08", "subject": "Technology", "saga": "Wally manages a project to send Internet data via the sewer system", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Wally to find a way to send Internet data via the sewer system to match the power grid.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "Internet", "broadband", "power grid", "sewer", "washroom", "data", "competitor" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-09", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Wally asks Asok to join his doomed project to send Internet data via the sewer system.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "doom", "Internet traffic", "sewer", "experience", "good thing", "breath", "straw", "sewage" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-10", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Wally admits he has never managed a project before.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Carol", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "doom", "Internet traffic", "direct", "natural talent", "goal", "agenda", "meeting", "common goal" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-11", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Wally reports the project progress to the Boss and uses big words to say he hasn't done anything yet.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "team", "time line", "identify resources", "revise", "re-examine" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-12", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dogbert recommends Wally get away from his project before getting the blame.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "snake", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "slither", "doom", "blame", "metaphor", "shed your project manager skin", "skeleton" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-13", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Wally asks the Boss to reassign his project to Asok.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Asok", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "heart and soul", "Internet data", "sewer", "talent pool", "recommend", "mentor", "panic" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-14", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice designates Asok as the keeper of the giant binder.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Asok", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "keeper of the giant binder", "secret technology plans", "fit", "clean desk policy", "trade show", "prop", "guard" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-15", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Asok complains no one responded to him since he became project manager, so he finished the project himself.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Wally", "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "returned my calls", "e-mail", "graduate", "India Institute of Technology", "finish", "sleep", "train", "holiday", "superior" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-16", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Asok says he learned to use his huge brain and tries not to frighten people with it.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "India Institute of Technology", "brain", "learn", "frighten", "mental", "reheat", "tea", "forehead", "imagine", "fire", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-17", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert advertises lessons on how to become an underperforming CEO. The Boss buys.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "television", "commercial", "salary", "audio lessons", "CEO", "underperforming", "headphones" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-18", "subject": "Office Services", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a direct question and a co-worker avoids it with unrelated information.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "order", "plastic casing", "delivery", "avoid", "imaginary", "question", "fantasy", "moustache", "shine" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-19", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert recommends the team look at the big picture, the view from 20,000 feet. The Boss over-imagines.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "big picture", "20000 feet", "view", "imagine", "plane", "coach" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-20", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells Bob money can't buy happiness but it can buy other things which are just as good.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "money can't buy happiness", "possession", "envy", "whack", "trade" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-21", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Each of the engineers complains they're too busy when the Boss wants to assign a project to each of them.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Asok", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "project", "Nanobit", "assignment", "busy", "cracker", "quit", "solve", "problem", "alligator", "quit" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-22", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss says if you're not the lead dog, the view never changes.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "lead dog", "view", "change", "face", "imply", "insightful analogy", "admire" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-23", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Wally describes how he ranks his tasks into different priorities.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "rank", "task", "daily", "priority", "isn't much left in the tank", "update", "list" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-24", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice asks Carol to format her long, rambling e-mails with more whitespace.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "long", "gift", "blank space", "sentence", "ramble", "comma", "curvy" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-25", "subject": "Outsourcing", "synopsis": "The Boss announces the company has outsourced its programming work to Elbonia to take advantage of the time difference.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Elbonian", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "programming", "Elbonia", "time difference", "requirements", "code", "laptop", "pretend" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-26", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "A marketing guy says he can't remember how to turn on his Lisa.", "characters": [ "marketing guy", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "engineer", "turn on", "Lisa", "Apple", "computer", "wife" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-27", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "A marketing guy has some suggestions for Dilbert's network design. His technology level is out of date.", "characters": [ "marketing guy", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "suggestion", "network design", "Cisco", "doohickey", "catapult", "tree", "social skills", "dipweed" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says communication is a morale issue, so he opens up and tells his true feelings.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "survey", "employee morale", "result", "issue", "open and honest communication", "loot", "death spiral", "fishing lure", "suffer", "bald guy", "noise" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-29", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "The Boss says he can't give Dilbert a raise because then there would be no room for a raise next year.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "salary", "deserve", "raise", "disincentivised", "mope", "muscle", "motivation", "weak" ] }, { "date": "2003-09-30", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert's new policy is for employees to inform their boss before applying for internal positions.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "job opening", "policy", "inform", "apply", "purr", "good luck", "disloyal", "back stab", "ingrate" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-01", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "An annoying new employee meets Dilbert. Dilbert wants to hit him.", "characters": [ "annoying new employee", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "big guy", "golf", "deep desire", "punch" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-02", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "An annoying new employee invites Wally to go golfing in the rain at 6 AM.", "characters": [ "annoying new employee", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "golf", "rain", "sandpaper", "salt", "roll", "score" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Tina wants to work three hours a week to maintain her quality of life.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "three hour weeks", "quality of life", "dive", "raise" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Asok complains the Boss's decisions are always different from what Asok would have done.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "feedback", "decision", "different", "IQ", "intuition", "experience", "Chinese Astrology" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-05", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Catbert announces the company's 401k plan will be replaced by a 401a plan, which only pays off after death.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert", "Tina", "Asok", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "401K", "401a", "afterlife", "odds", "expected value", "reward", "software upgrade", "charisma", "math" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-06", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "A consultant's firm specialises in fixing business strategies.", "characters": [ "consultant", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "specialise", "business strategy", "industry", "toilet", "mention", "bribe" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-07", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert absolutely must have Ted's input by Tuesday, but he's unreliable.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "input", "need", "unreliable", "yell", "excuse", "busy" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-08", "subject": "Presentation", "synopsis": "Dilbert presents his business plan which shows profitability using some unlikely events.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "business plan", "profitability", "armoured car", "spill", "crash", "comet", "strike oil" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-09", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The Boss says the management retreat in Hawaii was productive, but the company must downsize to pay for it.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ted", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "retreat", "Hawaii", "trip", "helicopter ride", "productive" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-10", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "An accountant finalises last year's budget.", "characters": [ "accountant", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "finalise", "annual", "last year" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-11", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "An accountant says he averaged the top-down budget with the bottom-up budget.", "characters": [ "accountant", "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "average", "top down", "bottom up", "ignorance", "cancel", "optimism", "despair", "cruel", "lie", "optimism" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss comes in when Dilbert is trying to make a sale and ruins it.", "characters": [ "Boss", "customer", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "version", "leapfrog", "competition", "product", "stinkin' pile of crud", "slap" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss warns Dilbert to resist the tricks of a vendor's negotiator.", "characters": [ "Boss", "negotiator", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "vendor", "training", "resist", "trick", "fact", "infinite liability", "dating", "unidentified gizmo" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-14", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert plans to make bumper stickers for pedestrians that give an 800 number for people to rate their walking.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "bumper sticker", "pedestrian", "how am I walking?", "report", "shoes", "hate", "idea" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-15", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Carol complains Wally left a used coffee stirrer on the counter instead of throwing it away.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "coffee stirrer", "counter", "wastebasket", "associate", "maid", "power", "laziness" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders why the Marketing department issues a press release saying they were designing a tunnel to link Europe to Denver.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "manager", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "retreat", "marketing", "press release", "tunnel", "Europe", "Denver", "sprinkler system", "flashback", "goatee", "lawn" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-17", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows the Boss his \"tunnel shark\" which can dig and convert dirt and rock into energy.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "woman", "man" ], "keywords": [ "tunnel shark", "dirt", "rock", "energy", "red button", "ignore", "picnic", "eye", "butt" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-18", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains his tunnel digger has escaped from the lab and combined with an unfortunate Australian to create a cyborg.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "party-goer", "cyborg" ], "keywords": [ "tunnel shark", "dig", "prototype", "escape", "Perth", "Australia", "popular", "dirt", "trick", "party" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-19", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "Alice asks Ted what is the budget for research and development. Ted says it's confidential.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "research and development", "confidential", "kill", "witty", "appreciation", "fake laugh", "false teeth" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-20", "subject": "Consultant", "note": "drawn by Lynn Johnston of For Better or For Worse.", "saga": "guest cartoonist week", "synopsis": "The Boss hires a consultant to increase productivity.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Nildo Orbfutz", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "guest cartoonist", "expense", "productivity", "efficiency", "credentials", "psychology", "calculate", "business management", "human resources", "public relations", "on-the-job training" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-21", "subject": "Sales", "note": "drawn by Darby Conley of Get Fuzzy.", "synopsis": "Dilbert directs a film where Rob, Bucky and Satchel dress up as Bob, Dogbert and the Boss.", "characters": [ "Rob", "Dilbert", "Bucky", "Satchel" ], "keywords": [ "guest cartoonist", "film", "director", "dinosaur suit", "idiot" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-22", "subject": "Technology", "note": "drawn by Pat Brady of Rose is Rose.", "synopsis": "Dilbert imagines himself in an office with a great ocean view.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "guest cartoonist", "spacious office", "ocean view", "window", "dream", "environment headset", "shirt", "Brad Pitt" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-23", "subject": "Office Politics", "note": "drawn by Greg Evens of Luann.", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders about where his cubicle is, and Wally reads Dilbert's horoscope.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "guest cartoonist", "cubicle", "horoscope", "mind-altering day", "Days of Our Lives", "mall", "black shoes" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-24", "subject": "Society", "note": "drawn by Stephen Pastis of Pearls Before Swine.", "synopsis": "At Dilbert's funeral, a minister admits he was stunned with the news of Dilbert's death.", "characters": [ "minister", "Rat", "Pig", "Alice", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "guest cartoonist", "funeral", "casket", "running with scissors", "stun", "newspaper slots", "ka-ching", "sorry" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-25", "subject": "Health", "note": "back to being drawn by Scott Adams after guest cartoonists.", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains how he has been drifting through alternative universes, looking different each day all week long.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "psychologist", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "guest cartoonist", "drift", "alternative universe", "dense object", "space-time fold", "unforeseen problems" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally wants to extend his vacation to come back more ready to work than ever.", "characters": [ "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "idea", "performance", "boost", "vacation days", "recharge", "leverage", "advantage", "retirement", "holiday", "coach" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-27", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Wally wonders where the morning has gone, what with coming in late, eating breakfast and reading the paper.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "lunch", "breakfast", "plumbing", "newspaper", "non-work", "non-urgency" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Asok is employee of the week which gives him access to the helicopter landing pad on the roof.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "employee of the week", "access", "executive helicopter landing pad", "roof", "hose", "bird droppings" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-29", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Catbert announces a choice of free cholesterol screenings or free bacon and cheese hoagies.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cholesterol screening", "bacon and cheese hoagies", "across the hall", "choice" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol to reformat an expense breakdown and send it out. Carol doesn't know how he wants it formatted.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "expenses", "format", "read minds", "preference", "abyss", "chart" ] }, { "date": "2003-10-31", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to explain why Rick's specifications are mutually exclusive, although it's like talking to a brick wall.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Rick" ], "keywords": [ "explain", "specifications", "mutually exclusive", "transform", "ultra light", "absorb impact", "brick wall" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-01", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Alice she takes on too much work, she blames others and is always angry.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "problem", "too much work", "blame", "angry" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-02", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Wally reports on his project status using generalities and without really having done anything.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "status", "bandwidth", "organic growth", "push back", "sidebar", "ducks in a row", "back burner", "manage expectations" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Wally people have complained about him taking conference calls in the men's room.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "complaint", "conference call", "men's room", "idiosyncrasies", "care", "invite", "newspaper" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss explains they're not level conscious at their company.", "characters": [ "Boss", "employee" ], "keywords": [ "level conscious", "VP", "secretary", "equal", "direct eye contact" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-05", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains Bill is being a bottleneck.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Bottleneck Bill" ], "keywords": [ "input", "busy", "polite", "document", "pile" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-06", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Bottleneck Bill needs to approve all purchases even though he's too busy to approve anything.", "characters": [ "Bottleneck Bill", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "purchase order", "approve", "busy", "system", "strangle", "titanium" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-07", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert recommends selling their product for $1,000,029 with a $1,000,000 rebate.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "product", "rebate", "bargain", "inconvenience", "forget", "target", "rich", "lazy" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss is having problems at home and takes it out on Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "problems at home", "hallucinate", "yell", "sadistic nut", "cubicle" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-09", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss hands out company shirts, but makes exceptions so nobody gets one.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "company shirt", "handout", "temp", "contractor", "vendor", "size", "downsizing", "rag", "morale" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-10", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss to remove Ted from Dilbert's project.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "rude", "unhelpful", "remove", "project", "forward", "problem", "e-mail" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-11", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A boss stalker waits by the Boss's office waiting to suck up whenever the phone calls end.", "characters": [ "boss stalker", "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "boss stalker", "wait", "telephone", "suck up", "unscheduled" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-12", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The engineers are joined by the director of the only division making a profit.", "characters": [ "Boss", "director", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "division", "meeting", "profit", "proximity", "award", "greatness", "pleasure", "crown", "cape", "sceptre" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss puts his most important files on top of his trashcan.", "characters": [ "Boss", "janitor" ], "keywords": [ "organise", "document", "file", "important", "trashcan", "discardation" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-14", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Tina asks Wally to show her how to make changes to the skills database.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "change", "skills database", "risk", "avoid", "work" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-15", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains his project has had no progress and wants to fantasise about a breakthrough.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "progress", "hope", "fantasy", "breakthrough", "coach", "performance" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-16", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice thinks Wally will act as a buffer and be downsized first because his performance is so bad.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "downsizing", "performance", "buffer", "church", "bagel", "heathen" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-17", "subject": "Vacation", "synopsis": "Alice is still floating coming back from her vacation. She is soon brought down to earth.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Ted", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "relax", "float", "meeting", "cover", "promise", "forget", "furious", "personal best", "hair" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-18", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally discovers the most annoying cubicle noise -- chewing crushed ice.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "innovation", "annoying cubicle noise", "chewing crushed ice", "crunch", "refrigeration facilities", "hair" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-19", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "An instructor for a competitive strategies seminar wants everyone to stay seated in case of an emergency, so he will have a clear path to the exit.", "characters": [ "instructor", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "competitive strategies seminar", "housekeeping", "emergency", "exit", "men's room" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-20", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to take training, but the Boss says to send Wally instead and have Wally tell Dilbert what he learned.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "training", "desperate", "spare", "sheer artistry", "mismanagement skills", "awe" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-21", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Asok doubts the Boss ever reads his status reports. The Boss says reading doesn't actually matter.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "doubt", "status report", "consider", "project", "business plan", "budget", "pile" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-22", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The goal is to do more with less, although the Boss can't be more specific than that.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "goal", "do more with less", "motivation", "specific", "communication" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-23", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert says the new job applicants are desperate, so the Boss starts hitting them to see who can take the most.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss", "applicant" ], "keywords": [ "job applicant", "desperate", "qualify", "position", "pummel", "soft sugar doughnut", "mallet" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-24", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert announces people will be relocated to the bottom of the ocean to cut costs.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Ted", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "cost reduction", "relocate", "ocean", "pressure", "crush", "breathe", "issue", "whine" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-25", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Wally plans to replace himself with cheap Elbonian labour.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "labour", "replace", "describe", "cheap", "glasses", "coffee mug" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-26", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dilbert's lawyer phones him and wants to think about Dilbert for a while.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "lawyer" ], "keywords": [ "telephone", "think", "hour", "regret", "moustache", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-27", "subject": "Interview", "synopsis": "The Boss tests a prospective employee with a question about two chickens, a fox, a rowboat and a river.", "characters": [ "Boss", "prospective employee" ], "keywords": [ "test", "fox", "chicken", "river", "rowboat", "livestock insurance", "barbecue", "blame" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert he has edited Dilbert's document for clarity and distributed it.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "edit", "document", "clarity", "accuracy", "relevance", "career" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-29", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The company will make antivirus software, then secretly create a virus that can be detected only by their software.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "antivirus software", "secret", "create", "detect", "spooky" ] }, { "date": "2003-11-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Bradley, manager of executive compensation, who then plays mutual suck up with the Boss.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Bradley", "Dilbert", "Asok", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "executive compensation", "pay", "objective", "pony", "world-class observation", "cash", "recommend", "vacation" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-01", "subject": "Communication", "synopsis": "The Boss says the company needs to tell the employees about the pending merger.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "merger", "news", "extra work", "reason", "tax" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally reads in the paper a report about the company merging with an evil company that plans downsizing.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "merger", "newspaper", "downsizing", "anger", "quote", "valuable" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-03", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Wally wants to break into subgroups to create a process for choosing the next meeting time.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "sub groups", "process", "usual time", "loose cannon", "label", "hackneyed phrase", "cut now", "measure later" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says an apple will remind them of their core values. Dilbert observes an apple's core is usually thrown away.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "apple", "core values", "respect", "customer service", "teamwork", "throw away", "stem", "loyalty" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-05", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "A doctor says Alice has a case of carpal punchel syndrome and can't use her fist of death for a few weeks.", "characters": [ "doctor", "Alice", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "carpal punchel syndrome", "fist of death", "foot of death", "menace", "stethoscope", "carpal tunnel syndrome" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-06", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "A woman asks for Dilbert's phone number, and he over-supplies.", "characters": [ "woman", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "telephone number", "party", "home", "cell phone", "e-mail", "web site", "fax", "voicemail", "wine", "skeleton" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Asok wants to move to an empty, full-size cubicle. The Boss says interns only get half-size cubicles.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "move", "empty", "half-size", "downsizing", "budget" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-08", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert wakes Dilbert up so he can go to work and earn money.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "bed", "wake up", "trudge", "money", "lights", "shower", "pyjamas" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-09", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert brags about being retired while Dilbert still has to earn money.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "retired", "banging head against a wall", "money", "social infrastructure", "guilt", "wag" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-10", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert is proud to be part of a vibrant global economy.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "worker", "global economy", "vibrant", "reformat", "disguise", "objective", "zesty" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-11", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert is developing an insincere optimism to complement his artificial sense of urgency.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "insincere optimism", "sense of urgency", "delusion", "challenge", "money", "idea", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-12", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "A product trainer says the company takes pride in its product line.", "characters": [ "trainer", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "product", "pride", "painful boils", "relatively satisfied", "customers" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert to take his feet off his desk. Dilbert wonders if that's an example of random management.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "feet", "desk", "recline", "random management", "stock value" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss sketches a logo and asks the creative department to do something with it.", "characters": [ "Boss", "artist" ], "keywords": [ "brilliant", "creative department", "design", "logo", "artist", "master's degree", "graphics arts", "crud", "symmetrical", "goatee" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-15", "subject": "Health", "note": "strips start to be copyrighted as \"Scott Adams, Inc.\"", "synopsis": "A news report says working with stupid or evil people causes heart disease.", "characters": [ "news reader", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "research", "evil", "stupid", "heart disease", "stupidiousness", "witty banter", "heart attack", "television" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss says lots of people want Dilbert's job. He calls this motivation.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "woods", "shake a tree", "chat", "motivation", "headcount", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-17", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert realises the merger will break the connection between his performance and his rewards.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "merger", "obliterate", "performance", "reward", "wet ropes", "ears" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-18", "subject": "Downsizing", "saga": "Alice is laid off", "synopsis": "Alice decides to work like a paranoid beaver during the merger in the hopes her productivity will be rewarded.", "characters": [ "Alice", "manager", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "strategy", "paranoid beaver", "merger", "productivity", "reward", "downsizing", "bald", "glasses" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-19", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The Boss has a hard time telling Alice she has been downsized.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "language", "spare time", "word" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-20", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Catbert tells Alice about her severance package.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "severance package", "laugh", "purr", "spittle", "future", "hair" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-21", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Carol collects money for future gag gifts. One big collection instead of many small ones, she says.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "collect", "gag gifts", "birthday", "baby shower", "retirement", "promotion", "paper bag", "flush", "toilet", "sectional sofa", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-22", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Dogbert counsels Alice after her downsizing. He reviews her resume and the type of job she's seeking: punching a short stocky guy with pointy hair.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "career counselling", "mad", "resume", "seek", "punch", "pointy hair", "kick", "consider" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-23", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Wally suggests to Alice her next career could be to marry a rich guy.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "career", "marry", "rich man", "personality", "goodbye hug", "squeeze" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-24", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Carol schedules Alice's goodbye lunch for a time when Alice can't make it.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Alice", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "goodbye lunch", "gag gift", "retire", "wrinkle cream" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-25", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Alice thinks the good thing about being downsized is not having to shave her legs.", "characters": [ "Alice", "news reader" ], "keywords": [ "shave legs", "couch", "Sasquatch", "Haagen Dazs", "television news", "stubble" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-26", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The Boss says they will rehire some of the downsized people because business is picking up.", "characters": [ "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "rehire", "dulled instincts", "dress", "upside down", "engineer" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-27", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "The Boss sends Dilbert to a product awareness class.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "trainer" ], "keywords": [ "product awareness class", "hand-on training", "problem", "head in a vice", "attack" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss hires his wife to be the new receptionist. She starts ordering Dilbert to do personal tasks.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Boss's wife", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "receptionist", "problem", "nepotism", "dipweed", "bagel", "cappuccino", "dance", "lobby", "wash car", "fill", "gas tank" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-29", "subject": "Project", "saga": "Office Relocation Project, Asok's first project", "synopsis": "The CEO orders the company headquarters to be moved closer to his home.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "headquarters", "relocate", "home", "CEO", "justification", "expense", "quip", "eat mud and die", "hummer", "stock options", "meeting" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-30", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Asok is in charge of the Office Relocation Project, ORP. It's his first project.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Office Relocation Project", "study", "method", "step one", "corner", "scream", "bright light" ] }, { "date": "2003-12-31", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Asok panics about the office relocation project. He says it is going very badly.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "Office Relocation Project", "problem", "possession", "panic", "lost", "telephone service", "worry" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-01", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Asok informs Dilbert he won't be allowed to move his own computer.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Office Relocation Project", "permission", "move", "computer", "steal", "movers", "cubicle", "Ethernet", "stapler", "theft", "clipboard" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-02", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Asok explains to Alice her cubicle is below an air duct.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "desirable", "cubicle", "air duct", "cooler", "colder", "facilities", "penguin", "ice", "clipboard" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-03", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Asok explains to Tina her new cubicle is smaller than her old one.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "clipboard", "butter", "small", "torso", "slide", "rats" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-04", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "The VP of marketing introduces the new version of their product.", "characters": [ "vice president", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "new version", "product", "unveil", "customer", "engineer", "boxing glove", "fist", "punch", "spit" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-05", "subject": "Work Avoidance", "synopsis": "Wally adds a finger holder to his piece of paper.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Asok", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "paper", "finger holder", "hallway", "work" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally wins the expense cutters award.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally", "Asok", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "expense", "cell phone", "bill", "speech", "award" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss takes an employee's new computer for his own.", "characters": [ "Boss", "employee" ], "keywords": [ "power shopping", "new computer", "mood" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-08", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Ted experiences an \"involuntary separation from payroll.\"", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "involuntary", "separation", "payroll", "fire" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-09", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "Dilbert has a plan to generate electricity from smokers taking smoking breaks.", "characters": [ "smoker", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "smoke", "cigarette", "presentation", "proposal", "kinetic energy", "electricity", "break", "power", "ramp", "slope", "testing" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-10", "subject": "Travel", "saga": "Dilbert flies halfway around the world for a presentation", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks to fly with the CEO.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "secretary" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "speech", "conference", "save money", "corporate jet", "inhale", "exhale", "breathe" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss reacts to Dilbert informing him of a hole in their Internet security.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "hole", "Internet", "security", "job", "24-7", "network", "fixed", "blame", "Al Gore" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-12", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert needs the Boss to approve his business travel.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "approval", "exhausted", "bored", "stiff", "headache", "constipated" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-13", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dogbert suggests Dilbert smuggle a weapon on to the plane.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "suitcase", "smuggle", "airplane", "upright position", "rights", "advice", "jail", "complain" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-14", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert goes through airport security.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "airport", "security", "jacket", "shoes", "epidermal layer", "epidermis", "skin", "skeleton", "crime", "Ishtar", "Glitter", "Gigli", "X-ray" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-15", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert has trouble finding overhead storage on the plane.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "stewardess" ], "keywords": [ "overhead storage", "anxiety", "anxious", "delay", "flight", "schedule", "New York", "Iowa" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-16", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "The guy in the seat in front of Dilbert wants to lay back and sleep.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "traveller" ], "keywords": [ "flight", "work", "laptop computer", "sleep" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-17", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "The hotel staff member is hyper-friendly.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "hotel", "iron", "socks", "suspicious moles", "second job", "over-trained", "shaved", "donate", "kidney", "organ donor" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-18", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "The Boss orders Dilbert to ask for a price reduction of an already-signed contract.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "vendor" ], "keywords": [ "price", "contract", "hurt to ask", "self-loathing" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-19", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Dilbert's hosts think he's giving a presentation, but he's there to get a presentation.", "characters": [ "man", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "world", "flew", "presentation", "proprietary document", "unprepared" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-20", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert learned to not call anybody named Jack from a plane.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "key learning", "lesson", "call", "airplane", "hijack" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-21", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Dilbert loses credibility", "synopsis": "The Boss contradicts Dilbert. Dilbert loses credibility.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "change", "telephone", "credibility" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-22", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss contradicts Dilbert in a meeting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "resources", "project", "contradict", "credibility", "good cop", "bad cop", "beg" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-23", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The company fired the sales department to cut costs.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "profit", "fire", "sales department", "cost", "strategy", "warehouse", "beg", "write", "read", "book" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-24", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Dogbert points out the contrast in greatness between himself and Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "breakfast", "bathrobe", "contrast", "greatness", "notice" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The CEO demonstrates why he deserves his large salary.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss", "CEO", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "question", "answer", "special ability", "golden egg" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-26", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "Dogbert suggests a new name for the company.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "change", "name", "illusion", "progress", "onomatopoeia", "sound", "awareness", "Duhflushtech, Inc." ] }, { "date": "2004-01-27", "subject": "Safety", "saga": "Asok discovers a deadly safety flaw in their product", "synopsis": "Asok asks Wally who he should report a deadly safety flaw to.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "deadly", "lethal", "flaw", "defect", "inform", "report", "stock", "layoff", "career", "negligence", "negligent", "death", "customer", "first dozen" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-28", "subject": "Safety", "synopsis": "Asok tells Alice he will be a murderer if he fails to report their product's safety problem.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "blow", "whistle", "problem", "defect", "murder", "kill", "wuss", "squirrel", "flavor", "scone" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-29", "subject": "Safety", "synopsis": "Asok goes over the Boss's head to report their product's safety problem.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss", "secretary", "CEO" ], "keywords": [ "flaw", "defect", "problem", "CEO", "die", "death", "forward", "pointy-haired", "ignore", "delegate" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-30", "subject": "Safety", "synopsis": "Dogbert is hired to put a spin on the company's deadly product.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Boss", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "public relations", "PR", "deadly", "lethal", "death", "sued", "taint", "jury pool", "victims", "ethics", "moral", "strategy" ] }, { "date": "2004-01-31", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert's P.R. plan includes preserving the Boss's karma.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "public relations", "PR", "risk", "plan", "bad karma", "universe", "inoculate", "Britney Spears", "hairstyle", "back hair" ] }, { "date": "2004-02-01", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss complains he keeps clicking on a web link and nothing happens.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "click", "definition", "insanity", "insane", "precedent", "crazy", "computer", "web", "browser" ] }, { "date": "2004-02-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to explain his project.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "project", "top priority", "bored", "sleep", "awake" ] }, { "date": "2004-02-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss hasn't done anything for awhile, so he decides to reorganise his department.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "managerish", "criticise", "meeting", "reorganise", "department", "beat", "keyboard" ] }, { "date": "2004-02-04", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert to lie about the speed of their new chip.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "chip", "slower", "faster", "competition", "benchmark", "old driver", "wire", "bug", "snitch", "marketing", "crime" ] }, { "date": "2004-02-05", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert's advice is to never listen to your customers.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Alice", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "listen", "customer", "dumb", "buy", "purchase", "product", "credibility", "service", "don't talk" ] }, { "date": "2004-02-06", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert advises the company to focus on either incompetence or crime, but not both.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Alice", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "synonymous", "incompetence", "crime", "logo", "graphics", "composite face" ] }, { "date": "2004-02-07", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Alice to train a replacement for herself.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Ned" ], "keywords": [ "train", "redundant", "downsize", "threaten", "e-mail", "board of directors" ] }, { "date": "2004-02-08", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Buff Bufferman to Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Buff Bufferman" ], "keywords": [ "co-worker", "rock climbing", "blizzard", "eagle", "fly", "leap", "river", "surf", "white water", "keyboard", "dangerous", "hunch" ] }, { "date": "2004-02-09", "subject": "Strategy", "synopsis": "Asok reports a typo that affects the company strategy.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "typo", "market forecast", "everyone", "joke", "free delivery" ] }, { "date": "2004-02-10", "subject": "Technology", "saga": "The wireless hassock-buddy", "synopsis": "Dilbert finished the prototype for the wireless hassock-buddy.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "prototype", "wireless", "hassock", "footrest", "ottoman", "buddy", "GPS", "stalk", "feet", "PowerPoint", "antenna", "presentation" ] }, { "date": "2004-02-11", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "The company's salespeople resort to electroshock pants in order to sell their new product.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Asok", "customer", "salesman" ], "keywords": [ "unit", "wireless", "hassock", "teamwork", "electroshock", "pants", "close the deal", "threat", "payback" ] }, { "date": "2004-02-12", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "The Boss makes the cover of \"Morons on Parade\"", "synopsis": "Dogbert interviews the Boss for \"Morons on Parade\" magazine.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "writer", "reporter", "author", "morons on parade", "magazine", "question", "interview", "promise", "look bad", "cover story" ] }, { "date": "2004-02-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss makes to cover of \"Morons on Parade\" magazine.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "cover", "magazine", "morons on parade", "misquote", "writer", "reporter", "accurate" ] }, { "date": "2004-02-14", "subject": "Ethics", "synopsis": "The Boss suggests to Catbert they sell the company's confidential database of customer information.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "sell", "confidential", "database", "customer", "information", "profit", "undetectable", "yank you chain" ] }, { "date": "2004-02-15", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains what went wrong with their projects this year.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "CEO", "Alice", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "explain", "problem", "aloof", "unapproachable", "smile", "engineer", "food", "gifts", "poems", "replace", "distraction" ] }, { "date": "2004-02-16", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert recommends creating \"disruptive innovations\"", "synopsis": "Dogbert, the consultant, suggests disruptive innovations that redefine the market.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally", "Alice", "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "survive", "disruptive", "innovation", "market", "difference" ] }, { "date": "2004-02-17", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert, the consultant, recommends forming a separate group for disruptive innovations.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "separate group", "disruptive", "innovation", "glorious", "glory", "fully funded", "ambiance", "brilliant", "bureaucracy", "tour", "bean bag chair" ] }, { "date": "2004-02-18", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Boss has a new home theatre, but doesn't know how to operate it.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "home theatre", "DVD", "HD", "DVR", "FM", "satellite dish", "widescreen TV", "speaker", "universal remote", "remote control" ] }, { "date": "2004-02-19", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert's sycophant school", "synopsis": "Dogbert teaches the first lesson in his \"School for Worthless Sycophants.\"", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "student" ], "keywords": [ "school", "sycophant", "head nodding", "beginner", "snap", "forward" ] }, { "date": "2004-02-20", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert continues his lessons at his sycophant school.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "student" ], "keywords": [ "sycophant", "school", "agree", "superior", "practise", "fake smile", "insult" ] }, { "date": "2004-02-21", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Catbert how to make Ted quit.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert", "Ted", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "quit", "aggressive", "replacement", "resource", "pants" ] }, { "date": "2004-02-22", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok tells the Boss he is ready for a promotion.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "senior engineer", "intern", "functions", "promotion", "hire", "fury", "tiny fists", "empire", "despair", "searing psychological pain", "training" ] }, { "date": "2004-02-23", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert offers to make the Boss's competitors tired and unfocused.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "competitor", "tired", "unfocused", "pester", "charity", "birthday parties", "blood drives" ] }, { "date": "2004-02-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Catbert and the Boss discuss how to deal with employees who are afraid to take risks.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "report", "employee", "afraid", "risk", "training", "stretch goal", "punish", "failure", "raise morale", "complaints" ] }, { "date": "2004-02-25", "subject": "Creativity", "synopsis": "Wally is trying to suffocate the Boss by sealing air holes in his office.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "office", "sneak", "seal", "air hole", "door", "hobby" ] }, { "date": "2004-02-26", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "Carol greets the Boss with a threat.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "dance", "death", "work", "early grave", "dangerous", "business trip", "good morning" ] }, { "date": "2004-02-27", "subject": "Psychology", "synopsis": "The Boss visits a therapist.", "characters": [ "therapist", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "employees", "kill", "murder", "paranoid", "answer", "e-mail", "couch" ] }, { "date": "2004-02-28", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert, the consultant, recommends offering their customers easy financing.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "consultant", "customer", "financing", "disguise", "cost", "product", "price-gouge", "leasing", "lease", "advice" ] }, { "date": "2004-02-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert has an encounter with the Boss's boss.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Boss", "Boss's boss" ], "keywords": [ "headcount", "poorly managed", "perfect", "confused", "lying", "misinformed", "funding", "budget", "communicate" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-01", "subject": "Management", "saga": "The Boss is made an \"aspect\" manager and is replace by a witch", "synopsis": "The Boss is made an \"aspect\" manager.", "characters": [ "Boss", "CEO" ], "keywords": [ "aspect", "corporate objective", "fire", "morale" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces to his people he has been made an aspect manager.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally", "CEO" ], "keywords": [ "announcement", "meeting", "aspect", "report", "celebration", "morale", "genius" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-03", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Carol he's being transferred to a new job.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "transfer", "suffer", "incompetence" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Zenox, the new manager, introduces herself to the department.", "characters": [ "Zenox", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Carol", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "witch", "growl", "undead", "witch's hat", "broom", "meeting", "dress code", "winged monkey", "tough", "bitch" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Zenox motivates her new employees by changing their heads to animal heads.", "characters": [ "Zenox", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "new boss", "motivate", "goat head", "spell", "finish", "improvement", "sadistic", "fair", "frog head", "monkey head" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss returns to announce he's dispatched the replacement manager.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "manager", "witch", "fire", "automatic sprinkler system", "water", "CPR" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Asok's good work is rewarded with more work.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "project", "schedule", "punished", "rewarded", "challenge", "plant", "bullshit", "performance review", "fertilise" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-08", "subject": "Work Avoidance", "synopsis": "Wally reports he's reached a high level of unverifiable productivity.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "unverifiable", "productivity", "phone calls", "consensus", "leadership", "priorities", "status report" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-09", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Garbageman how to make his job more enjoyable.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Garbageman" ], "keywords": [ "enjoy", "advice", "spouse", "marriage", "kids", "trashcan" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-10", "subject": "Teamwork", "synopsis": "Wally doesn't want to put a banana peel in his trash.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "banana peel", "trash", "stink", "speech", "throw" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-11", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "The Boss compares their repeat customer rate to the recidivism rate of prisons.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally", "Asok", "criminal" ], "keywords": [ "repeat", "customer", "prison", "recidivism", "criminal", "experience", "television", "advertisement", "tattoo" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Asok for a 360-degree review.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "360-degree", "evaluate", "risk", "retribution", "quality", "lazy", "evil", "manipulative" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-13", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells Dilbert how to manipulate other people.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "manipulate", "lying", "lie", "victim", "treachery", "advice", "Mayo Clinic" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-14", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Carol asks for a day off to go to her twin sister's funeral.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "day off", "vacation", "twin sister", "funeral", "insensitive", "gerbil", "casket", "bury" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-15", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains how their product continues to sell.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "presentation", "target market", "shopper", "design", "attack", "reorder", "customer" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-16", "subject": "Bureaucracy", "saga": "Asok has to fix a paycheck error", "synopsis": "Asok reports an error on his paycheck.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "error", "paycheck", "bowels", "injustice", "correct", "reward", "honesty" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-17", "subject": "Bureaucracy", "synopsis": "Asok enters the bowels of the company bureaucracy.", "characters": [ "Asok", "troll" ], "keywords": [ "anus", "asshole", "correct", "payroll", "error", "glare", "lunch", "human leg" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-18", "subject": "Bureaucracy", "synopsis": "The bureaucracy troll directs Asok to the automated phone system.", "characters": [ "Asok", "troll" ], "keywords": [ "payroll", "problem", "sadistic", "automated phone system", "tech support", "irrational number", "telephone", "human leg", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-19", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Marketing has a meeting without engineering support.", "characters": [ "marketeer", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "schedule", "engineering", "gerbil" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-20", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a question of Mo, the slow responder.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Mo" ], "keywords": [ "reliability", "specs", "slow responder", "delay", "say something", "stare" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-21", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "The director of marketing gives an update to the department.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Director of Marketing", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "presentation", "update", "budget", "racehorse", "flagship", "thoroughbred", "starting gate", "sailboat", "lunch", "horse meat" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-22", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "The Boss announces the new records retention policy.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "lawsuits", "policy", "records retention", "concussion", "forget", "memory" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-23", "subject": "Leadership", "saga": "The Boss speaks at a school for \"Career Day\"", "synopsis": "Carol asks the Boss to speak at her son's school on career day.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "speak", "speech", "school", "career day", "bitterness", "despair", "punish" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-24", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss gives a career day speech describing the students' futures.", "characters": [ "Boss", "student" ], "keywords": [ "grow up", "container", "cubicle", "spine", "joy", "motivate", "fear", "brochure", "future" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-25", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss finishes up his career day speech.", "characters": [ "Boss", "student" ], "keywords": [ "pre-meeting", "questions", "generation", "connect the dots" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-26", "subject": "Meeting", "saga": "Ratbert is a seat filler", "synopsis": "Ratbert attends a meeting as Wally's \"seat filler.\"", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "position", "seat filler", "proud", "pride", "career", "false alarm", "fired" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-27", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert fires Ratbert.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "human resources", "position", "excessed", "flesh", "bones", "yoga", "hug", "fired", "downsized" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss reminds his people quality is their top priority.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "quality", "top priority", "safety", "law", "shareholder value", "responsibility", "lie", "honesty" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-29", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "The Doctor Dogbert Show", "synopsis": "Dogbert plans to start his own television talk show.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "bathrobe", "television", "talk show", "Doctor Dogbert", "Dr. Dogbert", "qualified" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-30", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert has the first episode of his new \"Doctor Dogbert\" show.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "guest" ], "keywords": [ "Doctor Dogbert", "Dr. Dogbert", "lazy", "selfish", "immoral", "listen", "judgement", "time-waster", "miracle worker", "television camera" ] }, { "date": "2004-03-31", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert interviews Bob on his \"Doctor Dogbert\" show.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "Doctor Dogbert", "Dr. Dogbert", "plastic surgery", "addicted", "dinosaur", "advice", "freak", "television camera" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-01", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Doctor Dogbert interviews a couple who have a common problem.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "husband", "wife" ], "keywords": [ "Doctor Dogbert", "Dr. Dogbert", "television camera", "couple", "common problem", "sleep", "hot dog bun", "snore" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-02", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Carol brings her sick son to work.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol", "Traylor" ], "keywords": [ "school", "son", "shake hands", "bite", "disease", "spots" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-03", "subject": "Entertainment", "synopsis": "Alice asks the Boss if she can put his picture on her stapler.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "picture", "stapler", "personal items", "eat paper" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-04", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "No one at the leadership meeting took notes.", "characters": [ "Boss", "CEO", "manager", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "notes", "e-mail", "forgot" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss describes to a job applicant how he rewards his top performers.", "characters": [ "Boss", "applicant" ], "keywords": [ "reward", "top performers", "workload", "performance", "average", "motivational posters" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-06", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert plans to start his own airline.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "no-frills", "airline", "arms", "run", "eat", "saliva", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-07", "subject": "Work Avoidance", "synopsis": "Wally adds mumbling and peevishness to his arsenal.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "coffee maker", "mumble", "peevish", "arsenal", "benefit", "knowledgeable", "share" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-08", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A co-worker wants to borrow Dilbert's spare chair for a meeting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "CFO" ], "keywords": [ "chair", "meeting", "wallet", "keys", "company ID", "shoe", "PDA", "sock", "collateral" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-09", "subject": "Accounting", "synopsis": "An accounting troll admits how inaccurate their system is.", "characters": [ "troll", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "inaccurate", "profitable", "manage", "random", "success", "funding", "hug" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-10", "subject": "Work Avoidance", "synopsis": "Tina asks Wally for the approved vendor list.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "vendor", "list", "network", "password", "information", "plausible", "user name" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-11", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Alice shuts up a co-worker who keeps having side conversations during a meeting.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "co-worker", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Carol", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "pay", "calculated", "side conversation", "interruption", "distraction", "base salary", "explode", "theory", "test", "smoke" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-12", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert's tainted research company", "synopsis": "Dogbert starts a company that specialises in performing tainted research.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "patient" ], "keywords": [ "specialise", "tainted research", "doughnut", "association", "skinny", "heaven", "bright lights", "revived", "hospital", "interview" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-13", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert performs some tainted research for the Boss.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert Research Company", "killed", "design", "product", "tainted", "killed", "jinx" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-14", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert figures out how to get some publicity for the tainted research he performed.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "television", "tainted", "research", "media", "celebrities", "blood", "environment", "humour", "Larry David", "hybrid car" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-15", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert's Mom asks Dilbert if he's made her proud yet by becoming a manager.", "characters": [ "Dilbert's Mom", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "mother", "pride", "proud", "manager", "son", "host", "cooking show", "television", "too much salt", "kitchen" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss avoids answering Dilbert's e-mail and voicemails.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "status report", "project", "ignore", "e-mail", "voicemail", "hallway", "stories", "sinuses" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-17", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss's plan is to invent something everyone wants to buy.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "presentation", "sales", "plan", "invention", "doohickey", "visionary", "schedule" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-18", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert goes into the extreme makeover business.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "victim", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "extreme makeover", "next level", "antlers", "nose", "ears", "surgery", "age", "hunch", "tail", "pinchers", "claws", "lips" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-19", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert the real estate agent", "synopsis": "Dogbert volunteers to be Dilbert's real estate agent.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "bathrobe", "breakfast", "sell", "buy", "house", "real estate", "agent", "maybe", "escrow" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-20", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dilbert describes his house's defects to Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "real estate", "agent", "rain", "sewer", "driveway", "lake view", "rabid squirrels", "roof", "skylight", "fire hazard", "fireplace" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-21", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants Dilbert to sign a pile of real estate documents.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "initial", "steaming mound", "documents", "overprice", "real estate", "agent", "scarecrow", "fine print", "clause" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-22", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert takes a client to see some real estate.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "client" ], "keywords": [ "real estate", "agent", "property", "endangered", "frogs", "banshee", "farm", "access road", "cesspool", "tormented souls" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-23", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert pressures a client into buying a house.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "client" ], "keywords": [ "real estate", "agent", "buy", "someone else", "appreciate", "value" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-24", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert feels he shouldn't need to hire professional movers.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "mover" ], "keywords": [ "unmanly", "friends", "pickup truck", "weak", "walk", "boxes", "couch", "legs" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-25", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "A former international pop star goes to work for the company.", "characters": [ "Boss", "pop star", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "international", "pop star", "recognise", "bought", "CD", "compact disk", "album", "downloaded", "sell", "rich", "business manager", "stole", "perform", "musicians", "venues", "guitar" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-26", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice asks the Boss why the new engineer gets paid more than she does.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "engineer", "pay", "justify", "attitude", "smile", "eyes", "blind" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss looks at the suggestions from the suggestion box.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "suggestions", "money", "diagram", "wavy lines", "hot", "hell" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-28", "subject": "Benefits", "synopsis": "Catbert would prefer employees only marry each other.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "married", "employees", "cost", "spouses", "marry", "save money", "fluorescent light", "glisten", "head", "bald" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-29", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Wally takes every pill that was offered via e-mail spam.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "addicted", "spam", "pill", "drug", "offered", "mix", "ginkgo biloba" ] }, { "date": "2004-04-30", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss steals Dilbert's idea to eliminate their product's least popular features.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Asok", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "recommendation", "eliminate", "popular", "features", "revenue", "steal", "idea", "infinity" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-01", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells the Boss how to rob his small suppliers.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "rob", "steal", "small supplier", "unauthorised", "deductions", "invoices", "complain", "standard", "industry", "practise", "chickens" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-02", "subject": "Investment", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains stock investing.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Wally", "CEO", "accountant", "investor", "Donald Trump look-alikes", "analysts" ], "keywords": [ "stock", "schedule", "project", "footnotes", "nanotechnology", "gibberish", "discount brokerage firms", "secret society" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-03", "subject": "Overwork", "synopsis": "Alice complains to Catbert about barely having time to bathe.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "bathe", "hygiene", "tongue", "bath", "loofah", "crazy" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert to call the faults \"future development\" and ship the product.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "software development", "faults", "bugs", "ship", "label" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss goes to a meeting with his boss without first stretching his lying muscles.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol", "Boss's boss", "manager" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "stretch", "lying", "muscles", "strain", "pain" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-06", "subject": "Outsourcing", "saga": "The Elbonian call centre", "synopsis": "The Boss announces they've moved their call centres to Elbonia.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Elbonian", "Wally", "Asok", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "call centre", "tech support", "name", "telephone headset" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-07", "subject": "Outsourcing", "synopsis": "The Elbonian call centre operator tells a customer they are out of that software.", "characters": [ "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "call centre", "tech support", "software", "stock", "porcelain unicorn figurine", "pants", "country", "money" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-08", "subject": "Outsourcing", "synopsis": "The Elbonians are reminded to use their American accents.", "characters": [ "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "call centre", "tech support", "American", "accent", "dawg", "Chevy", "missile", "cafeteria" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-09", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Dilbert has to get approval to go to a mandatory meeting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "mandatory", "approval", "request", "writing", "rules", "murder", "cash" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-10", "subject": "Character", "saga": "The non-credible guy", "synopsis": "A non-credible co-worker does some name dropping at lunch.", "characters": [ "co-worker", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "dance", "Madonna", "vogue", "music video", "liar", "Gandhi" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-11", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "The non-credible co-worker makes some more outrageous claims.", "characters": [ "co-worker", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "reality TV", "preposterous", "hostility", "curiosity", "Einstein" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-12", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "The non-credible co-worker claims to have approval for his expenses.", "characters": [ "co-worker", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "approval", "expenses", "suspicious", "heart transplant", "surgeon", "illiterate" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-13", "subject": "Safety", "saga": "Safety manual update", "synopsis": "The Boss has Wally update and distribute the safety manual.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "update", "distribute", "manual", "budget", "binders", "cheapest", "deadly", "injure", "injury", "bandages", "attack" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-14", "subject": "Safety", "synopsis": "Wally asks for the Boss's approval on the new safety manual.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "approval", "manual", "attack", "blood", "protective gloves", "goggles", "injury" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-15", "subject": "Safety", "synopsis": "Wally announces the new safety manuals are safety hazards.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Asok", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "bandages", "injuries", "manual", "binders", "sharp edges", "curse", "web site", "carpal tunnel", "RSI", "eye strain", "high blood pressure", "hypertension" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-16", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks Dilbert to review his celebrity business plan.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "celebrity", "business plan", "crime", "media", "lawyer", "Johnny \"Red\" Galipigos", "fame", "reality TV", "cheat", "weight gain", "fat", "tabloids", "weight loss", "children's books", "rehab", "addicted", "painkillers", "narcotics", "drugs" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-17", "subject": "Secretary", "saga": "The secretaries plan to take over the world", "synopsis": "Carol delights in the secret society of executive secretaries' plan to take over the world.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "secret society", "executive secretaries", "world", "schedule", "subjugation", "humiliation", "misery" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-18", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "The secretaries' plan to rule the world fails because they'd need their own secretaries.", "characters": [ "Carol", "secretary" ], "keywords": [ "secret society", "executive secretaries", "power", "evil overlords", "rule the world", "fell apart", "plan", "ceremonial robes" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-19", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The CEO says he wants to change the DNA of the Company.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "DNA", "medical", "frightened", "stale", "rejection" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-20", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Garbageman loans Dilbert is anti-stupidious gun.", "characters": [ "Garbageman", "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice", "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "stupidity", "trashcan", "gun", "annihilate", "intact", "directions", "pointy hair", "meeting", "disintegrate", "vaporise" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-21", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Alice she's exceeded her e-mail storage allocation.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "exceed", "e-mail", "storage", "allocation", "server", "real work", "document" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-22", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "An annoying co-worker asks Dilbert for a favour.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "Dilby", "Dil-Boy", "Dilly-Dally", "Dilbo Baggins", "Dill Pickle", "favour", "spit", "grave", "dead" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-23", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "The Boss says people are saying Dilbert is too negative in meetings.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "marketeer" ], "keywords": [ "negative", "meeting", "marketing", "ideas", "cold fusion", "perpetual motion", "antigravity", "MRI", "attitude", "tongue scraper", "flagpole", "electrified" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-24", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "Dilbert visits a customer's offices.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "office", "science", "feng shui", "technical merits", "witch doctor", "astrologer", "new age" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-25", "subject": "Engineer", "saga": "Dilbert visits a customer", "synopsis": "Dilbert visits a customer who was a liberal arts major.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "visit", "zombie stare", "technical", "language", "liberal arts major", "colour" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-26", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces their new mascot: Kudos, the Bear-er of Good Morale.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "kudos", "bear", "morale", "meeting", "mascot", "suit", "costume", "punishment" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-27", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Wally escapes a meeting by daydreaming.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "escape", "horror", "work avoidance", "mind", "happy place", "pool", "coffee", "giant cup", "doughnut" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-28", "subject": "Project", "saga": "The Boss cuts Dilbert's project's budget", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert about cutting his budget by 25%.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "product development", "budget", "ulcer", "heart disease", "pustules", "envy" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-29", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert has a plan for finishing the project with the reduced budget.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "plan", "cut corners", "bungling", "budget", "design", "prototype", "testing", "manufacturing", "product recall", "shipping", "juggle" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss complains to his employees they're on a tight budget and can't afford frills.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "document", "paper clip", "budget", "salvaged", "inefficient" ] }, { "date": "2004-05-31", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Alice rips a co-worker's heart out of his chest.", "characters": [ "Alice", "co-worker", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "check", "forgiveness", "permission", "heart", "Internet" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-01", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert deduces a woman's age, gender, marital status, weight, etc.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "illegal", "law", "age", "sex", "gender", "marital status", "married", "single", "weight", "ethnicity", "disabilities", "mongrel", "spinster", "Christmas", "religion" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-02", "subject": "Work Avoidance", "synopsis": "Wally announces he has ergophobia -- a fear of work.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "ergophobia", "abnormal", "persistent", "fear", "work", "words", "coffee maker" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-03", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss takes Asok to lunch to find out what's being said behind his back.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "lunch", "wine", "fertiliar", "restaurant", "drunk", "snitch" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-04", "subject": "Management", "saga": "The dark demon of ineffective management", "synopsis": "The Boss refuses to make a decision and summons a demon instead.", "characters": [ "Boss", "demon" ], "keywords": [ "decision", "demon", "ineffective", "smite", "request" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice dispatches the demon sent to smite her.", "characters": [ "Alice", "demon", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "overlord", "smite", "decision", "request", "drywall" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-06", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Tina criticises Dilbert's e-mail to Alice.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "typo", "e-mail", "confusion", "professional", "gossip", "critical", "appearance", "function", "scoff" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-07", "subject": "Character", "saga": "The prima donna", "synopsis": "The Boss hires a prima donna.", "characters": [ "prima donna", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "hate", "indispensable", "obnoxious", "authority", "rules don't apply", "pants" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-08", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "The new prima donna expounds upon his own greatness to the Boss.", "characters": [ "prima donna", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "indispensable", "greatness", "thwart", "pants", "underwear", "rules", "scoff", "jeer", "gibe", "mock", "sneer", "fleer", "flout" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-09", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "The new prima donna tells Asok he is about to begin.", "characters": [ "prima donna", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "pants", "patent office", "hardware", "software development" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-10", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "The prima donna demands an assistant.", "characters": [ "prima donna", "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "pants", "assistant", "document", "miracles", "Smithsonian", "Louvre", "assignment" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-11", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "The Boss assigns Asok to work for the prima donna.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss", "prima donna" ], "keywords": [ "assistant", "arrogance", "noise", "ta-da", "case closed" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-12", "subject": "Personality", "synopsis": "Dilbert discovers Tina has multiple personalities.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "insult", "real-time", "kind", "gentle", "flame" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-13", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a young driver why he plays his music so loud.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "driver" ], "keywords": [ "music", "blast", "window", "psychopath", "egocentric", "antisocial", "behaviour", "mate", "peer imitation", "cognitive dissonance", "perception" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-14", "subject": "Business", "saga": "The \"small\" businessman", "synopsis": "A small businessman explains to the Boss why they must pay on time.", "characters": [ "businessman", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "small business", "pay", "bill", "invoice" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-15", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "Alice shows a small businessman how to get into their preferred vendor system.", "characters": [ "Boss", "businessman", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "quality", "product", "preferred vendor", "invoice", "scowl", "baby sling", "harness" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss forgets the meaning of an acronym.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "earning", "interest", "taxes", "depreciation", "ammonia", "accretive", "acronym" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-17", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains his new conversation strategy to Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "questions", "bah", "answer", "manners" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss for a raise.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "profits", "raise", "effective", "oppress", "communism" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-19", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Management can't decide where to make the budget cuts.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "manager" ], "keywords": [ "budget cuts", "systematic", "data-driven", "focus", "death spiral", "clockwise", "equator" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-20", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The Boss assigns Dilbert to take over Bill's project with he transfers.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Bill", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "absorb", "transfer", "whatchamacallit", "whosits", "budget", "fax number", "key contacts", "questions" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-21", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally tells Alice what he admires about her.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "admire", "performance", "appearance", "compliment", "tingling", "insult" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-22", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Wally announces he is half done with the online sexual harassment course.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "online", "sexual harassment", "study", "course", "actors", "happy", "porn" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-23", "subject": "Interview", "saga": "The Boss can't find any highly trained job applicants", "synopsis": "The Boss interviews a job applicant who sued his last employer.", "characters": [ "Boss", "job applicant" ], "keywords": [ "judgement", "sue" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-24", "subject": "Interview", "synopsis": "The Boss interviews a job applicant with a criminal past.", "characters": [ "Boss", "job applicant" ], "keywords": [ "resume", "allegedly", "stole", "steal", "give it back", "tourist", "cellar" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-25", "subject": "Interview", "synopsis": "A belligerent job applicant shows up for her interview an hour late.", "characters": [ "Boss", "job applicant" ], "keywords": [ "late", "overwork", "vacation", "hire" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-26", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "The Boss complains to Catbert about not being able to find a qualified job applicant.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "job applicants", "unpleasant", "work environment", "low pay", "skyscraper", "shovel", "abuse", "dental plan", "benefits" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-27", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't remember a co-worker's name, and doesn't care.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "remember", "forgot", "name", "introduce", "awkward", "pressure", "hardware specs" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-28", "subject": "Dating", "saga": "The co-worker who is a problem magnet", "synopsis": "Wally is attracted to a co-worker with a disastrous life.", "characters": [ "woman", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "disaster", "magnet", "problems", "legal", "financial", "medical", "romantic", "stalk" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-29", "subject": "Work Avoidance", "synopsis": "Wally decides to stalk the new hire.", "characters": [ "Wally", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "bored", "stalk", "line", "queue", "wait", "romance", "plan b", "bathroom", "restroom", "flowers" ] }, { "date": "2004-06-30", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Wally asks the new hire for a date.", "characters": [ "Wally", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "disaster", "problem", "source", "choices", "groceries", "dinner", "move in" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-01", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "The new hire is warned about Wally in the employee orientation.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "stalk", "new hire", "employee orientation", "workplace hazards" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-02", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "A co-worker doesn't take Dilbert's hint he's ready for the meeting to end.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "papers", "hint", "signal" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert suggests a money saving idea, but the Boss demands a written business case and full analysis.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "consolidate", "sublet", "space", "business case", "risks", "drivers" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-04", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "Carol doesn't allow the Boss to have meetings anymore.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "schedule", "meeting", "madness", "e-mail", "telephone", "disconnected", "cables" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-05", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Dilbert is left hanging and time freezes", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to talk about what Dilbert has done, but then leaves him hanging.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "telephone", "hanging", "wristwatch", "time", "stopped", "frozen", "freeze" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Time stops for Dilbert while the Boss is on the phone.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "time", "stopped", "bad news", "invent", "language", "beard", "eternity" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-07", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells his date how he grew his beard while waiting for the Boss to get off the phone.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's date", "waitress" ], "keywords": [ "beard", "restaurant", "wine", "telephone", "exercise", "discipline", "menu", "cigar", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-08", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert plans to give up all forms of hygiene.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "time", "shaving", "beard", "hygiene", "telecommuting", "toenails" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-09", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert decides to shave off his beard.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "shave", "beard", "telephone", "envelope licker", "story", "anecdote" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-10", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert plans a goodbye party for those being downsized.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert", "Asok", "Boss", "Wally", "Alice", "downsizee" ], "keywords": [ "goodbye", "party", "downsize", "t-shirt", "special guests", "cake" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss hires an alien for a job that is immediately outsourced.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Proxis", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "alien", "gullible", "nebula", "relocate", "family", "spaceship", "outsource", "severance package", "reference" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-12", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Wally is into his fifth month with no written objectives.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "written objectives", "philosopher", "freedom", "help", "hiding" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-13", "subject": "Business", "saga": "Dilbert the business negotiator", "synopsis": "The Boss wants Dilbert to negotiate the sale of part of their business.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "negotiate", "sale", "voice activated", "hassock", "footrest", "ottoman", "lie", "omissions", "misdirections", "exaggerations", "optimism", "documents", "explanations", "grey area", "ignorance" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-14", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "Dilbert starts negotiating the sale of part of their business.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "buyer" ], "keywords": [ "negotiate", "authorised", "offers", "phraseology", "lie", "sweat" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-15", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "Dilbert does a lousy job negotiating.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "buyer" ], "keywords": [ "negotiate", "opening offer", "accept", "ruin" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-16", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "Dilbert brings the negotiations to an end.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "buyer" ], "keywords": [ "negotiate", "contract", "expenses", "legal liabilities", "revenue", "patents", "public credit", "swimming pool", "bare hands", "spoon" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-17", "subject": "Investment", "synopsis": "Dogbert observes the Company's stock goes down whenever Dilbert does anything.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "stock", "plunge", "news", "acquire", "shares", "motionless", "remote control" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-18", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Catbert gives the Boss an idea for motivating the staff.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "motivation", "threat", "belittle", "humiliation", "promises", "berate", "slogans", "posters", "bully", "praise", "raise", "trophy wife", "yell", "purple" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-19", "subject": "Benefits", "synopsis": "Catbert announces stock options are to be replaced with a bonus system.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "stock options", "bonus", "happiness", "kindness", "management", "gullible", "investors", "hairball" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-20", "subject": "Personnel", "saga": "The feral employee", "synopsis": "Catbert recommends hiring feral employees.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert", "feral employees" ], "keywords": [ "afford", "budget", "trained employees", "alley", "creamer", "cage" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-21", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "The Boss hires a feral employee.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Will" ], "keywords": [ "feral employee", "inexpensive", "cheap", "untrained", "bite", "eat", "run away" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-22", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "The Boss assigns Wally to teach the new feral employee how to use indoor plumbing.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Will" ], "keywords": [ "feral employee", "chance", "risk", "regret", "professional", "indoor plumbing", "newspaper", "restroom", "bathroom" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-23", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "A woman likes the new feral employee because he's a challenge.", "characters": [ "woman", "Will", "Dilbert", "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "feral employee", "untamed", "challenge", "bicycle pants", "mow", "lawn" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-24", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "The new feral employee complains marketing wouldn't him the products specs.", "characters": [ "Will", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "feral employee", "product specs", "dumpster diving", "french fry" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-25", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "The VP of marketing describes their new \"bet the company\" strategy.", "characters": [ "Boss", "marketeer", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "bet-the-company", "strategy", "advertising", "talking", "squirrel", "Norwegian Accent", "fraud" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss forgets how many quarters are in a year.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "quarters", "year", "leap year", "penny", "board meeting", "smart" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-27", "subject": "Entrepreneur", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Dilbert to lunch to propose a pyramid scheme.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "lunch", "opportunity", "pyramid scheme", "multi-level marketing", "diet", "Bible" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-28", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "Dilbert announces their plan to generate electricity from their founder spinning in his grave.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "founder", "copper wire", "tombstone", "headstone", "magnet", "business practises", "spin", "grave", "electricity" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-29", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "Dilbert got a bonus for being under budget.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "bonus check", "effort", "reward", "results", "luck", "delay" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-30", "subject": "Work Avoidance", "synopsis": "Wally's excuse for being late is because his car wouldn't start.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "late", "tardy", "car", "start", "cold", "warm", "wind chill factor" ] }, { "date": "2004-07-31", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dogbert's tech support starts by blaming the problem on another company.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert's tech support", "problem", "product", "services", "determine", "answer", "pretend", "telephone headset" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-01", "subject": "Security", "synopsis": "Dilbert loses his ID badge and must sneak past the security guard.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "security guard" ], "keywords": [ "ID badge", "security office", "sneak", "diversion", "worthy adversary" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-02", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Company has had a bad year, but management doesn't want to change anything.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "bad year", "committed", "stay the course", "visionaries", "visions" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-03", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert, the optometrist for near-sighted visionaries", "synopsis": "Dogbert decides to become an eye doctor for near-sighted visionaries.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "visionary" ], "keywords": [ "optometrist", "eye doctor", "customer", "eye chart" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-04", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert prescribes a wooden block for a visionary executive.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "executive" ], "keywords": [ "optometrist", "visionary", "wood", "glasses", "foresee", "predict" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-05", "subject": "Work Avoidance", "synopsis": "Wally is disconnecting from all channels of communication.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "voicemail", "spam filter", "e-mail", "ear wax", "grid" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-06", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Carol reveals an employee's secret nickname.", "characters": [ "Carol", "employee" ], "keywords": [ "mullet-head", "secret", "nickname" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Company's goal is to become one of the Fortune Magazine's top 100 companies to work for.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Asok", "torturer" ], "keywords": [ "corporate goal", "Fortune Magazine", "money", "salary", "raise", "benefits", "freedom", "motivation" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-08", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert starts a credit reporting company.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "credit report", "provider", "incorrect", "complaints", "hold", "frustration", "debilitating", "health", "ears", "death", "customer service", "business plan", "qualms", "wag" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-09", "subject": "Communication", "saga": "The Boss gives instructions over a cell phone with a bad connection", "synopsis": "The Boss gives Dilbert directions over a bad cell phone connection.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "bad connection", "cell phone", "listen", "desk", "building", "billing codes" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-10", "subject": "Communication", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Alice throw the Boss's desk off of the building.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "throw", "desk", "building", "cell phone", "bad connection" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-11", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "The salary spreadsheet is released to the employees", "synopsis": "The Boss has Carol send the salary spreadsheet to human resources.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "salary", "spreadsheet", "human resources", "discontent", "disloyalty", "fights", "vandalism", "riots" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-12", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Carol sends the salary spreadsheet to everyone in the department.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "salary", "spreadsheet", "e-mail", "wizard", "swollen appendix" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-13", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "After seeing the salary spreadsheet, Tina realises it's not a glass ceiling holding her down.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "salary", "spreadsheet", "glass ceiling", "blame", "illegal aliens" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-14", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok demands a raise and threatens to quit. The Boss calls his bluff.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "demand", "raise", "quit", "bluff", "weekend", "free", "superior intellect", "negotiator" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-15", "subject": "Outsourcing", "synopsis": "The Company is outsourcing its satellite program to Elbonia.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Elbonian", "Elbonian pig" ], "keywords": [ "satellite", "launch", "orbit", "liaison", "insurance", "jumpy", "tease", "kick", "fisticuffs", "risk analysis", "plan", "sledgehammer", "abort", "presentation" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-16", "subject": "Bureaucracy", "synopsis": "A meeting is called to announce the division's goals for the next year. Alice mocks the presenter.", "characters": [ "presenter", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "goals", "e-mail", "communication", "mock" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-17", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert, the product designer", "synopsis": "Dogbert, the product designer, explains design is everything.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "product design", "function", "quality", "emotional", "impact" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-18", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert, the product designer, explains he only uses the best artists.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Bob", "Ratbert", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "product design", "success", "artist", "professional", "crayon" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-19", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert, the product designer, displays his latest consumer electronics design.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "product design", "consumer electronics", "nature", "shape", "emotional bond", "ego", "wag", "unveiling" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-20", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert, the product designer, announces the new product is selling very well.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "product design", "selling", "presentation", "attractive", "flaws", "functionality", "accuse", "sex crimes", "cute" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-21", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Catbert for advice on telling his people there won't be any raises.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "raises", "conversation", "diversion", "colonise Mars" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-22", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Dogbert why he can't find a girlfriend.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "girlfriend", "dating", "problems", "looks", "personality", "extreme makeover", "story failure", "fascinating", "liability", "horse", "woodchuck" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-23", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss accuses Alice of not working on her team's assignments.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "teamwork", "assignment", "important", "useless", "clueless", "meeting" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-24", "subject": "Character", "saga": "Topper returns, but Asok found an alien", "synopsis": "Topper returns and tries to one-up Asok's egg-shaped rock.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Topper", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "rock", "egg", "Nick Lachey", "Jessica Simpson", "hatch", "alien", "galaxy" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-25", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Asok's newly-hatched alien brings either wisdom or annihilation.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "wisdom", "annihilation", "choice", "alien", "leader", "coffee stirrers", "kill", "dead" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-26", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The Boss removes all chairs from the conference room so meetings will be more efficient.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "chairs", "efficient", "agenda", "legs" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-27", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert tries to decide between two evil plans.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "cheaper", "employee wellness program", "sick days", "incentivising", "die", "math", "fun" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-28", "subject": "Benefits", "synopsis": "Catbert explains the Company's employee wellness program.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally", "Asok", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "employee wellness program", "call in sick", "Monday", "Friday", "suspicious", "nap" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss explains his bonus will depend on the results of the employee attitude survey.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "bonus", "results", "attitude", "survey", "morale", "rank", "happy", "money", "lie", "conscience", "paradise", "smiley face", "emoticon" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Catbert announces they're moving to an open floor plan.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Asok", "Alice", "Mime" ], "keywords": [ "cubicles", "expensive", "budget", "open plan", "class", "course", "transition", "invisible wally" ] }, { "date": "2004-08-31", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert goes into the false hope business", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells Dilbert he's going into the false hope business.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "false hope", "business", "plausible", "lose weight", "weight loss", "get rich", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-01", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert looks for an unethical scientist to verify is wealth-building system.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "scientist", "clone", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "wealth", "verify", "ethics", "human cloning", "infomercial", "advertising", "cigar", "booze", "prices" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-02", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert needs a name for his new company.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "name", "company", "infomercial", "disguise", "treachery", "krap2idiots", "catchy", "television", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-03", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally anonymously sends faxes to Alice's telephone.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "telephone", "fax", "voice line", "punishment" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally asks the Boss about the proper time charging for a hypothetical situation.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "project", "time", "corrective lenses", "eyeglasses", "urinal", "toilet", 911, "building up" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-05", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "The Boss figures out a way around budget limitations.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "product development", "features", "scope", "theory", "change requests", "free" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-06", "subject": "Business", "saga": "The Boss is bribed by a vendor", "synopsis": "The Boss is bribed into recommending a company's products.", "characters": [ "Boss", "vendor" ], "keywords": [ "restaurant", "martini", "recommend", "product", "board", "bribe", "DVD", "narrator", "name", "dance" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-07", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "The Boss announces his decision to buy their server upgrades through Bribertek, Inc.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "server", "upgrades", "Bribertek, Inc.", "buy", "overpriced", "hardware", "job offer", "coincidence" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-08", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "The Boss shows up to claim the job offer that was his bribery pay-off.", "characters": [ "Boss", "vendor" ], "keywords": [ "single source", "job offer", "VP", "empty office", "waiting period", "bribe" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-09", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally's outfit forces the Boss to update the dress code.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "update", "dress code", "tank top", "belly shirt", "ruin" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-10", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert is has to handle a grey area social situation.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "grey area", "social situation", "look away", "ambiguity", "smile", "stomach ache", "confused", "story", "suck" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-11", "subject": "Security", "synopsis": "A security guard stops Alice because she looks bloated, like she's hiding something under her clothes.", "characters": [ "Alice", "security guard" ], "keywords": [ "guard desk", "bloated", "PMS", "stealing", "hiding", "clothes", "instincts", "injury" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-12", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Wally asks Tina to go to lunch with him.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Tina", "waiter" ], "keywords": [ "lunch", "co-worker", "date", "colleague", "jacket", "face", "fifty percent", "half", "paying", "salad", "water", "New York steaks", "restaurant" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-13", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "Carol's has to work from home since her daughter got sent home from school.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "sneeze", "daughter", "school", "home", "answer", "phone", "messages", "real", "fake" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-14", "subject": "Feminism", "synopsis": "The Boss approaches Alice with a question about making photocopies.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "secretary", "copies", "photocopier", "woman", "sexist", "copy machine" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-15", "subject": "Work Avoidance", "synopsis": "Wally asks the Boss for permission to take on a huge workload.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "projects", "deliverables", "motivation", "e-mail", "help" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-16", "subject": "Interview", "synopsis": "The Boss hires a man who interviews very well.", "characters": [ "job applicant", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "hire", "brain", "develop", "products", "pay", "cubicle", "eat", "used paper", "defence", "interview" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-17", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "Carol asks the Boss when she's going to be promoted from executive assistant to executive.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "executive", "assistant", "promotion", "leadership", "ear wax" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-18", "subject": "Work Avoidance", "synopsis": "Wally tells Dilbert people continuously bother you while you're trying to work, while Dilbert is trying to work.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "bother", "work", "realisation", "unpleasant" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-19", "subject": "Teamwork", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants the market demand numbers from a co-worker.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "market demand", "numbers", "information", "later", "ASAP", "slack" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-20", "subject": "Ethics", "saga": "Dogbert's ethics hotline", "synopsis": "Carol calls the ethics hotline with a question.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "question", "hotline", "retype", "directions", "prescription", "medication", "nude" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-21", "subject": "Ethics", "synopsis": "The Boss announces the Company will hold a series of ethics seminars during lunch.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "corporate", "steal", "lunch hour", "executives", "seminar" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-22", "subject": "Ethics", "synopsis": "The Company hires Dogbert to be their ethics manager and run the ethics hotline.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "hired", "manager", "hotline", "dental", "evidence", "telephone headset" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-23", "subject": "Ethics", "synopsis": "Asok calls Dogbert's ethics hotline with a question about naughty thoughts during work hours.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Asok", "Wally", "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "hotline", "conundrum", "question", "naughty", "thought", "work hours", "reimburse", "productivity", "cost", "fortune" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Catbert about his plan to avoid paying bonuses.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "plan", "pay", "performance", "bonus", "merge", "average", "begging", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-25", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss is reading a book of leadership secrets.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "reading", "secret", "book", "famous", "Roman", "general", "Dogbertious", "friend", "private office", "slave", "cubicle" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Heck is full, so Phil arranges for the overflow to be put in cubicles.", "characters": [ "troll", "Phil", "Boss", "man", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "heck", "space", "full", "cell phone", "bathroom", "restroom", "cubicle", "crime", "heinous", "blindfold", "pitchspoon", "punishment" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-27", "subject": "Personal", "saga": "The Boss gets liposuction", "synopsis": "The Boss considers getting liposuction.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "liposuction", "fat", "weight loss", "head", "collapse" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-28", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "The Boss got liposuction and his head collapsed.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "liposuction", "younger", "self-discipline", "weight loss", "weight gain", "doughnuts" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-29", "subject": "Work Avoidance", "saga": "The removal of Wally's unnecessary body parts", "synopsis": "Wally plans to have unnecessary body parts removed so he can miss work.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "doctor" ], "keywords": [ "underwear", "price sheet", "price list", "remove", "unnecessary", "body parts", "organs", "stethoscope", "television", "nap", "inflamed coccyx" ] }, { "date": "2004-09-30", "subject": "Work Avoidance", "synopsis": "Wally tells Dilbert his plan to have unnecessary body parts removed to miss work.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "coccyx", "removed", "unnecessary", "body parts", "organs", "time off", "brain", "tonsils" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-01", "subject": "Management", "saga": "The CEO announces how the stockholders' profits were spent", "synopsis": "The CEO plans to announce to the stockholders the Company earned 100 million dollars.", "characters": [ "CEO", "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally", "Asok", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "stockholders", "earning", "profit", "stock options", "incentivised", "incentive", "furniture", "steal" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The CEO tells the Boss how the shareholder meeting turned ugly.", "characters": [ "CEO", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "shareholder", "meeting", "ugly", "profits", "stock options", "base salary", "energy", "spank", "secretary" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-03", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Wally watch as the new employee opens her first paycheck.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "new employee", "paycheck", "college", "cash", "ear guards", "deductions", "coffee", "spill", "stain" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss for clarification on his assignment.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "clarification", "assignment", "judgement", "damned", "advice", "calamity", "plan" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-05", "subject": "Character", "saga": "The buck-passer", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces the newly-hired buck-passer to Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Buck", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "hired", "buck-passer", "cheaper", "handshake", "time" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-06", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "The newly-hired buck-passer tries to pass off some work to Alice.", "characters": [ "Buck", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "buck-passer", "alley", "ass", "butt" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-07", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "The buck-passer uses Asok as a human shield to avoid an assignment.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Buck", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "buck-passer", "do-it", "assignment", "tear-away shirt" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-08", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets criticised for pointing out a problem with a co-worker's plan.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "problem", "plan", "negativity", "meeting", "theory", "morons", "drunk", "sober" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-09", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss gives performs drive-by managing on Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "drive-by management", "what's his name", "outrun", "clarification" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-10", "subject": "Vendor", "synopsis": "A vendor says their software has two versions, the Boss picks the cheap one.", "characters": [ "vendor", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Asok", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "enterprise software", "flavors", "versions", "smiley face", "frowny face", "emoticons", "premium package", "user friendly", "economy", "option", "user interface", "ruin your life", "cheap", "mouse", "girlfriend", "e-mail", "romantic invitations", "adult web site", "porn", "hundred percent" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-11", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The Boss discovers other conference callees are using the restroom during the call.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "hear", "conference call", "restroom", "bathroom", "speakerphone", "burn", "ruler", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Catbert announces he's postponing is plan to bury poor performers in kitty litter.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "good news", "employee turnover", "postpone", "bury", "poor performers", "scented", "kitty litter", "litter box", "quality", "downhill" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-13", "subject": "Productivity", "saga": "The highly productive but useless guy", "synopsis": "The Boss explains to an employee that is P\/U ratio is climbing.", "characters": [ "Boss", "employee" ], "keywords": [ "P\/U", "ratio", "usefulness", "mistake", "distraction", "less work", "backwards" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-14", "subject": "Productivity", "synopsis": "The highly productive but useless guy gives Dilbert a useless statistical analysis.", "characters": [ "co-worker", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "productive", "useless", "statistical analysis", "statistics", "correlation", "disk storage", "absenteeism", "data", "diagram" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-15", "subject": "Ethics", "synopsis": "The new vice president of ethics is to help employees decide right and wrong, the Boss says.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "vice president", "right", "wrong", "project", "charge", "time" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss has an energy saving award for Ted.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Ted", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "kudos", "suggestion", "motion sensors", "calculate", "energy savings", "lost productivity", "meeting", "plaque", "burn", "heat", "break even" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert why he has no accomplishments.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "accomplishment", "misconception", "customers", "meeting", "confused", "objective", "home computer", "upgraded", "paraphrase" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-18", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ratbert asks Dogbert why a runny nose stops running when you're asleep.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "runny nose", "asleep", "nose fairy", "pinch", "nostril", "knowledge" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-19", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert notices all of his problems are caused by other people.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "problems", "other people", "discomfort", "bother", "oblivious", "effect" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-20", "subject": "Society", "saga": "Dogbert's School for the Socially Oblivious", "synopsis": "Dogbert starts a school for the socially oblivious.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "student", "woman", "man" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert's School for the Socially Oblivious", "pair", "social defect", "cancel out", "kids", "fascinating", "training" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-21", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dogbert teaches the socially oblivious to recognise when they are being boring.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "woman", "man" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert's School for the Socially Oblivious", "recognise", "boring", "yawn", "talking about yourself", "breakout session", "golf", "training" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-22", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks a nonsense question at the end of a three-hour meeting.", "characters": [ "co-worker", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "question", "business", "project management", "process", "optimise", "strategic core", "issues", "gibberish" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-23", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Carol is surprised the Boss is still alive.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "alive", "deadly plot", "fault", "pay", "salary", "afford", "entertainment" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-24", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok asks Wally how to be stress free.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Wally", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "stress", "unrealistic belief", "care", "expectations", "budget numbers", "promise", "to-do list", "lie", "steal", "stapler", "coffee mug" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-25", "subject": "Accounting", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks an accounting troll to explain some expense figures.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "troll" ], "keywords": [ "explain", "expense", "figures", "base ten counting system", "odd", "even", "digits", "HP printer ink", "high gloss paper", "taste" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-26", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Ted wants to leave work early to spend time with his kids.", "characters": [ "Ted", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "leave early", "quality time", "kids" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-27", "subject": "Management", "saga": "The Boss can't remember the issue", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert a question, but doesn't intend to listen to the answer.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "issue", "simple", "misleading", "explanation", "understand", "listen" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to explain the issue yet again.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "ask", "question", "explain", "issue", "comprehend", "conflict", "understand" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-29", "subject": "Vacation", "saga": "The Boss cancels vacations", "synopsis": "The Boss announces all vacations are cancelled until the project is finished.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "project", "finished", "punish", "inability", "plan", "staff", "wedding guests", "arranged marriage", "cancelled" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-30", "subject": "Vacation", "synopsis": "Wally wants the Boss to believe he has non-refundable plane tickets to Tahiti.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "cancelled", "non-refundable", "plane tickets", "Tahiti", "exception", "sceptical" ] }, { "date": "2004-10-31", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to impress the new senior vice president with his leadership skills.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "senior VP", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "impress", "skill", "underling", "intern", "chummy", "conversation", "slacker", "motivation", "blows nose", "necktie" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-01", "subject": "Technology", "saga": "A nano-technology stem cell for fighting terrorists", "synopsis": "The Boss decides he needs to be managing a sexier project.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "managing", "sexier", "sexy", "boost", "career", "nanotechnology", "stem cell", "terrorists" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-02", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dogbert advises Dilbert on how to deal with the Boss's demand to develop nanotechnology.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "invent", "nanotechnology", "stem cells", "empty hand", "invisible", "high-five", "crushed" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-03", "subject": "Character", "saga": "Dilbert has to deal with Bottleneck Bill", "synopsis": "Bottleneck Bill hasn't been answering Dilbert e-mails.", "characters": [ "Bottleneck Bill", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "answer", "e-mail", "philosophy", "worth doing", "delay" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss to force Bottleneck Bill to do his job.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "force", "job", "finish", "miscellaneous" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-05", "subject": "Psychology", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells a psychologist he has uncontrollable urges to show people better ways to do things.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "therapist" ], "keywords": [ "uncontrollable", "urge", "better way", "real issue", "insecurity", "date", "looks" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Catbert reports the number one complaint from employees is unclear objectives.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "complaint", "employees", "unclear objectives", "effort", "tie", "selfish" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-07", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Dilbert is given a reverse makeover so he'll be a credible engineer on a sales call.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "sales rep", "makeover consultant", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "answer", "technical questions", "nice suit", "credibility", "reverse makeover", "consultant", "straight eye for the queer-looking guy", "queer eye for the straight guy", "clothes", "ear hair", "eyebrow extensions", "genius" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-08", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "The Ultra-Doughnut", "synopsis": "Dogbert, the consultant, recommends embracing the idea customers deserve to die.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Alice", "Boss", "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "idea", "customers", "deserve", "die", "free your mind", "profitable", "products", "invent", "Ultra-Doughnut", "sharp objects" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-09", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "The government requires a warning label for the Ultra-Doughnut.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert", "police officer", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "government", "warning label", "shard-filled", "Ultra-Doughnut", "kill", "tastes great", "choked", "dead", "corpse" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-10", "subject": "Product", "synopsis": "The Boss presents the revenue and fatality figures for their Ultra-Doughnut product.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "revenue", "killed", "customers", "health risks", "technically", "scum", "suicide" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-11", "subject": "Product", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells his mom about their new Ultra-Doughnut.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dilbert's Mom" ], "keywords": [ "gigantic", "shard-filled", "Ultra-Doughnut", "calories", "weight gain", "theory", "pleasure-seeking", "taste", "delicious", "bandage" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-12", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert observes Dilbert can't resist the Ultra-Doughnut, even though he knows the hazards.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "resist", "shard-filled", "Ultra-Doughnut", "hazard", "free will", "illusion", "greatest pleasure", "rationalise", "decision", "mindless", "pink robot", "bandages" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-13", "subject": "Ethics", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Dogbert about the morality of selling the super unhealthy Ultra-Doughnut.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "immoral", "calorie", "weight gain", "shard-filled", "Ultra-Doughnut", "force", "irresistibly delicious" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-14", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "Catbert bans cell phones with cameras from the workplace.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Asok", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "cell phones", "cameras", "ban", "workplace", "pictures", "proprietary information", "digital", "e-mail", "copied", "scanned", "steal", "scrapbook" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-15", "subject": "Product", "synopsis": "The Boss leads a brainstorming session before lunch.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "product development", "brainstorm", "ideas", "boredom", "chocolate cake", "lunch", "roast beef", "mittens", "food" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-16", "subject": "Product", "synopsis": "How you allocate management overhead expenses determines the success of the new product.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "successful", "allocate", "management overhead", "expenses", "party hat", "champagne glass", "noisemaker" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-17", "subject": "Vendor", "synopsis": "Dilbert meets with the vendor who couldn't say no.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "vendor" ], "keywords": [ "schedule", "order", "customise", "assembled", "installed", "loathing", "advance", "promises" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-18", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert wasn't listening to the conversation, so he tries some optimism.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "conversation", "listening", "optimism", "situation", "record growth", "prostate" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-19", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss gives Catbert his theory of managing.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "vague directions", "punish", "mind reading", "play", "game", "genius", "self-centred" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-20", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Alice her biggest defect is her inability to handle criticism.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "defect", "inability", "handle", "criticism", "misperception", "argue", "smarter" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-21", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss doesn't understand the technical analysis the Dilbert gave him.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "technical analysis", "understand", "embarrass", "second opinion", "stupid", "distribute", "wrong", "hope", "whistling", "air", "shred", "pile of indecision", "accident" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-22", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Wally tells Asok his experience with the thrill of victory and the pleasures of the flesh.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "age", "thrill", "victory", "pleasure", "flesh", "convenience", "mistress", "listener", "talking" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-23", "subject": "Work Avoidance", "synopsis": "Wally reports his progress is being thwarted by inconvenience.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "progress", "thwart", "obstacle", "inconvenient", "soul", "enthusiasm" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-24", "subject": "Policy", "saga": "Alice forwards off-colour e-mail jokes", "synopsis": "The Boss confronts Alice about forwarding off-colour jokes via e-mail.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "forwarding", "jokes", "e-mail", "object", "morale", "face", "photoshop", "cow's butt", "art" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-25", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "Catbert confronts Alice about forwarding off-colour jokes via e-mail.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "forwarded", "e-mail", "joke", "funny", "complained", "punish", "sensible" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-26", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice finds out who complained about her e-mail joke by bribing Catbert with catnip.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "complained", "e-mail", "joke", "conversations", "human resources", "confidential", "catnip", "bribe", "eyeballs", "tongue" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-27", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice confronts Wally about his complaint of her e-mail joke.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "complain", "human resources", "e-mail", "joke", "psychologically damaged", "mirth", "empty shell", "hungry" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Asok finds out why he shouldn't inform the Boss of his project's problems.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Asok", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "project", "report", "update", "inform", "problems", "big mistake", "help", "upgrade", "disk drive", "image data", "e-mail", "database", "extra disk space", "necktie", "strangle", "lose consciousness" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss admits to enjoying getting paid for other people's inventions.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "product", "patent", "profits", "plunge", "bonus", "fair", "shallow", "inventions" ] }, { "date": "2004-11-30", "subject": "Business", "saga": "The huge retail distributor, Walgetco", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert to meet with a huge distributor and agree to anything they want.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "distributor" ], "keywords": [ "retail distributor", "Walgetco", "Wal-Mart", "yes", "unreasonable", "need", "special packaging", "RFID tags", "bones", "store brand", "foot powder" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-01", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "Dilbert understands since Walgetco handles 60% of their distribution, Walgetco now owns them.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "distribution", "Walgetco", "Wal-Mart", "practical purposes", "own", "legal liabilities", "orange vests", "bow", "headquarters", "touching" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-02", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "An accounting troll complains to the Boss Walgetco takes all of the profits.", "characters": [ "troll", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "cut costs", "distributor", "Walgetco", "Wal-Mart", "gain", "demand", "lower prices", "shopping", "nice day", "accessories" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-03", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "Wally becomes irreplaceable", "synopsis": "Wally hatches a plan to become irreplaceable to the Company.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Asok", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "irreplaceable", "fired", "behaviour", "trust", "escaped felon" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-04", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss confronts Wally about what he told their biggest customer.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "customer", "escaped felon", "fire", "trust", "key learning", "crime doesn't pay", "alleged", "caught" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-05", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries assisting the Boss with setting up a new password.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "password", "characters", "letters", "numbers", 123, "abc", "foursome" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-06", "subject": "Management", "saga": "The Boss blinds Dilbert with the obvious", "synopsis": "The Boss's advice blinds Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "problem", "valuable advice", "stare", "screen", "monitor", "starve", "death", "gather data", "decision", "blinded", "obvious" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-07", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dilbert sees a doctor about his blindness.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "doctor", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "temporary", "blindness", "flash", "obvious", "guide", "prescription", "dopey", "seeing-eye dog" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss once again exposes Dilbert to blinding flashes of the obvious.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "blinding", "flash", "obvious", "sightless", "drive", "upsetting" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-09", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "A non-engineer tries to explain video compress to a group of engineers.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker", "Alice", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "explain", "video", "compression", "electrical engineer", "zeros", "round", "fat", "ones", "begging" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-10", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally decides to become indispensable to the Company.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "indispensable", "employee", "outrageous", "annoy", "crushed ice", "chomping" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-11", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dogbert coaches Wally on not giving away knowledge.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "knowledge", "power", "crush", "understand", "not saying" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-12", "subject": "Interview", "synopsis": "The Boss hires a cubicle vampire.", "characters": [ "Boss", "vampire", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "weakness", "cubicle vampire", "co-workers", "pounce", "suck", "blood", "work-related issues", "life", "drained", "instinct", "sucked dry" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-13", "subject": "Business", "saga": "Alice kills the new stock analyst", "synopsis": "Alice attacks a man asking lots of questions. Turns out he's the new stock analyst.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss", "stock analyst" ], "keywords": [ "questions", "asking", "fist", "throat", "pants", "inside out", "eat death", "stranger" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-14", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "The Boss complains about Alice killing the new stock analyst.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "look", "stock analyst", "buy", "recommendation", "hold", "conflict of interest" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-15", "subject": "Business", "saga": "Dogbert recommends stock to the public", "synopsis": "Dogbert offers to be the new stock analyst.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "recommend", "stock", "public", "conflict of interest", "worthwhile", "investment banking", "poison waffles" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-16", "subject": "Investment", "synopsis": "Dogbert is interviewed on TV about owning stock in the company he recommended.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "interviewer" ], "keywords": [ "television camera", "stock analyst", "recommended", "Blackberry", "PDA", "dump", "shares", "spiked", "very wrong", "profit", "helicopter", "suspenders" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-17", "subject": "Family", "saga": "Dilbert's cousin, Lauren, a fresh graduate", "synopsis": "Dilbert's cousin just got her English degree and would like some advice from Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert's Mom", "Dilbert", "Lauren" ], "keywords": [ "cousin", "degree", "English", "diploma", "graduated", "meagre living", "frustrate", "work environment", "thought" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-18", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert helps his cousin post her resume on a jobs web site.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Lauren" ], "keywords": [ "submit", "post", "resume", "web site", "optimism", "human being", "parents", "look for a job", "e-mail" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-19", "subject": "Interview", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants Dogbert to wish him luck for his job interview. Dogbert refuses.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "interviewer" ], "keywords": [ "job interview", "luck", "hero", "Albert Einstein", "safe", "outspoken critic", "war", "missile guidance systems", "Jeffrey Dahmer", "lottery" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-20", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert's cousin inserts some key words into her online resume.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Lauren" ], "keywords": [ "responses", "online", "resume", "inserted", "keyword", "attracted", "older", "chubby", "married", "wrong", "levels", "job offers" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-21", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to get through a meeting without telling the customers how stupid they are.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "stupid", "pressure", "builds up", "head", "unbearable" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-22", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Asok is concerned about his objectives being vague and unmeasurable.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "concerned", "objectives", "vague", "unmeasurable", "inspired", "full potential", "bad job", "punish", "heard" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-23", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert creates a combined online dating service, job search, and auction site.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "combine", "online", "dating service", "job site", "auction", "date", "bid", "hire" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-24", "subject": "Pun", "synopsis": "Marketing is looking for volunteers for a cat scan. Everyone looks at Catbert.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert", "Asok", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "marketing", "volunteers", "study", "advertisement", "stimulate", "brains", "cat scan", "predictable" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-25", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "A sales guy asks Dilbert for the benchmark results.", "characters": [ "sales guy", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "benchmark", "results", "explanation", "useless" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-26", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Dilbert to check his spreadsheet for accuracy.", "characters": [ "co-worker", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "check", "spreadsheet", "accuracy", "impenetrable", "jumble", "organised", "data", "cryptic", "labels", "document", "column", "ratio", "product", "returns", "gross", "revenue", "sales taxes" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-27", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Wally uses a character flaw for his philosophy.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "review", "e-mail", "spreadsheet", "inconvenience", "character flaw", "combine" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-28", "subject": "Management", "saga": "The Boss doesn't tell his people about a pending reorganisation", "synopsis": "A vendor spills the beans concerning a reorganisation.", "characters": [ "vendor", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "server software", "reorganisation", "layoffs", "heard", "face" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert is upset the Boss tells a vendor about the reorganisation before his own staff.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "vendor", "reorganisation", "staff", "trick", "diversion" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders why the Boss would tell a vendor their strategy before telling him.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Boss", "vendor", "strategy", "combination", "importance", "insignificance", "more", "questions" ] }, { "date": "2004-12-31", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss tries to calm down his staff about the impending reorganisation.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "nothing to fear", "reorganisation", "fear itself", "don't think" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-01", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Downsized employees are to receive Catbert's DVD that teaches them to live off the land.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally", "Alice", "employee" ], "keywords": [ "reorganisation", "DVD", "teach", "live off the land", "successful", "shoplift", "running", "television" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-02", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally claims his weekly report is full of tales of success.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Wally report", "bristling", "tale", "success", "worthless", "marketing", "specific", "confirmed", "location", "harmful advice", "sales", "rush", "e-mail", "ignore", "focus", "priority", "budget", "estimates", "format", "written objectives" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-03", "subject": "Secretary", "saga": "Carol, the Director of First Impressions", "synopsis": "Carol is made the Director of First Impressions.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol", "visitor" ], "keywords": [ "promotion", "director", "first impression", "pro tem", "pay off", "office", "lobby", "receptionist" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-04", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "Carol explains to a visiting salesman she's really a director.", "characters": [ "Carol", "salesman" ], "keywords": [ "receptionist", "director", "first impression", "printer cartridges", "CEO", "HP", "Carly Fiorina" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-05", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "Carol explains to a deliveryman she's not a receptionist.", "characters": [ "Carol", "delivery man" ], "keywords": [ "receptionist", "attractive", "position", "heading", "yum yum" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-06", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "Carol realises she's a receptionist.", "characters": [ "Carol", "visitor" ], "keywords": [ "receptionist", "director", "first impression", "walrus", "e-mail" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces their new strategy. He calls it a strategy so his people won't lose hope.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "strategy", "fewer units", "higher margins", "different", "cutting costs", "hope" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces their new strategy of buzzwords to see how it makes his people feel.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "differentiating", "value added", "strategy", "transformational", "change", "feel", "urge", "hurl" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-09", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "Asok invites the I.T. department to upgrade his non-standard computer.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Dilbert", "Alice", "IT person" ], "keywords": [ "IT department", "upgrade", "computer", "non-standard", "equipment", "hide", "printer", "monitor", "cleanse", "non-conformance", "heal", "abacus", "spiderweb", "cobweb" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-10", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert's stock-picking software", "synopsis": "Dogbert creates software to help small investors pick stocks.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "software development", "programming", "small investors", "pick", "stock", "past trends", "indicative", "future", "hubris", "ignorance", "testimonials", "results", "typical" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-11", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert decides his stock-picking software needs more features.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "software", "stock", "pick", "features", "module", "hair grow", "bald", "rat", "test", "buttocks", "proof", "bathrobe", "breakfast", "clipboard" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-12", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Dogbert if he ever feels guilty for conning people out of their money.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "moneybags", "guilty", "feel", "scam", "innocent", "same thing", "smarter", "arrogance", "cancel", "guilt", "system" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-13", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss must mark his territory by insisting on a change to the prototype product.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "mark", "territory", "insist", "change", "prototype", "wireless", "Internet", "option", "design" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-14", "subject": "Benefits", "synopsis": "Asok performs a statistical analysis and finds no correlation between his efforts and his rewards.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "statistics", "analysis", "correlation", "effort", "reward", "randomness", "desperate", "absurd", "devoid of purpose", "lost", "pay", "purchase", "unnecessary", "merchandise", "lactation", "shopping", "mood" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss for a new computer, but he must justify it first.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "computer", "slow", "upgrade", "cost-benefit analysis", "alternative", "vice president", "approval", "second job", "paper hat", "vest", "fast food" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-16", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dilbert visits a massage therapist who doesn't want to touch him.", "characters": [ "masseuse", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "certified massage therapist", "medical", "questionnaire", "touch", "one hand", "ballpoint pen", "click", "muscles", "pen pal" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-17", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "A co-worker with a crazy glare asks Dilbert for some useless information.", "characters": [ "co-worker", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "yield numbers", "discontinued", "chips", "choose", "rude", "useless", "crazy glare", "consider" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-18", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Tina gets a new supervisor", "synopsis": "The Boss can't promote Tina because her salary is too low.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "promote", "salary band", "current pay", "raises", "capped", "hire", "outside", "train", "supervisor" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-19", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Tina is introduced to her new supervisor.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Nelson", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "supervisor", "train", "new boss", "bonus", "family", "sexist", "chauvinist", "gay", "homosexual", "civil union", "marriage", "adoption", "dating", "rugby team" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-20", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Tina trains her new supervisor.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Nelson" ], "keywords": [ "manager", "new boss", "real work", "uninformed decisions", "sociopath", "egomaniac", "fidget", "harrumph" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-21", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert's art bar", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to open an art gallery with a full bar.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "drunk" ], "keywords": [ "plan", "art gallery", "full bar", "putrid", "specialise", "price", "synergy", "booze" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-22", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert sells dreadful art to people after getting them drunk.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "bar patron" ], "keywords": [ "art bar", "painting", "dreadful", "rat", "lucky guess", "midnight", "drunk" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-23", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss demands his people learn change is good.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "learn", "change", "good", "smiley face", "emoticon", "question", "best interest", "shareholders", "favourite part", "yell", "ruin", "slogan", "logic", "snort", "coffee" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-24", "subject": "Overwork", "saga": "Due to stress, Alice jumps out a window", "synopsis": "Wally gives stress advice to Alice.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "project", "stressful", "worst", "could happen", "pep talk", "window", "suicide", "jumped" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice for the status of her stressful project.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "status", "project", "incompetence", "others", "jump", "window", "dumpster", "issues", "garbage", "hair" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-26", "subject": "Personal", "saga": "Carol flames a newspaper columnist", "synopsis": "Carol e-mail flames a columnist for misusing the word \"dongle.\"", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "writer", "author", "columnist", "technical term", "dongle", "e-mail", "boycott", "newspaper", "flame" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-27", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "The columnist Carol e-mail attacked responds.", "characters": [ "Carol", "columnist", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "scathing", "letter", "e-mail", "misuse", "dongle", "intoxicated", "verbal superiority", "sad life", "meaning", "alive", "nutbag", "dictionary", "apology", "laptop computer", "moustache" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-28", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Alice goes to plan \"B\" for attacking the columnist: accuse him of hating minorities.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "response", "newspaper", "columnist", "misuse", "dongle", "wrong", "apologise", "accuse", "hate", "minority" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-29", "subject": "Vendor", "synopsis": "Dilbert sees through a vendors claims of supplying all features on time with extras.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "vendor" ], "keywords": [ "build", "software development", "features", "extras", "start late", "deadline", "unfinished", "important", "deal" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-30", "subject": "Vacation", "synopsis": "Dilbert gives the Boss his vacation schedule.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "schedule", "plan", "accrue", "quit", "afraid", "question", "answer", "upbeat" ] }, { "date": "2005-01-31", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Catbert, the furry log", "synopsis": "Catbert chides Alice for eating at her desk.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "eat", "desk", "steal", "working", "lunch", "furry log", "term of endearment", "nickname", "insult" ] }, { "date": "2005-02-01", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss confronts Alice about calling Catbert a \"furry log.\"", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "furry log", "teamwork", "nickname", "hostile environment", "squirrel-infested stump" ] }, { "date": "2005-02-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss presents Asok with a chair as an award for his hard work.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "award", "hard work", "dedication", "reward", "happiest moment of my life", "lucky", "chair", "stolen" ] }, { "date": "2005-02-03", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dogbert gives Dilbert advice on dealing with bad service at stores.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "bad service", "store", "CEO", "fire", "sexy", "advice" ] }, { "date": "2005-02-04", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert considers changing his department's name to \"Workplace Services.\"", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "change", "department", "name", "workplace services", "evil", "laugh" ] }, { "date": "2005-02-05", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces the new VP of Marketing.", "characters": [ "Boss", "marketing VP", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "experience", "unrelated industry", "technology", "shampoo", "smooth sailing", "prediction", "astrology" ] }, { "date": "2005-02-06", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to make sure everything is perfect for the CEO's visit.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss", "CEO", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "perfect", "visit", "doughnuts", "fresh", "delicious", "batch", "taste", "panic", "gum" ] }, { "date": "2005-02-07", "subject": "Interview", "synopsis": "The Boss interviews an admitted thief.", "characters": [ "Boss", "job applicant" ], "keywords": [ "supervision", "steal", "harass", "show myself out" ] }, { "date": "2005-02-08", "subject": "Interview", "synopsis": "The Boss interviews a candidate who claims to thrive on vague objectives and is excited by criticism.", "characters": [ "Boss", "job applicant" ], "keywords": [ "supervision", "vague objectives", "recognition", "contribution", "criticism", "excite", "proud" ] }, { "date": "2005-02-09", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Wally claims to be a subject-matter expert in a very narrow field.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "worthless", "subject matter expert", "narrow field", "knowledge", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2005-02-10", "subject": "Technology", "saga": "Dilbert gets a Blackberry", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets a Blackberry, but it doesn't look good when he uses it in a meeting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "Blackberry", "e-mail", "work", "day", "night", "productivity", "meeting", "masturbating" ] }, { "date": "2005-02-11", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert admits to being addicted to e-mail.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "addict", "e-mail", "endorphins", "spike", "loneliness", "despair", "sending to yourself", "masturbation" ] }, { "date": "2005-02-12", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets a Blackberry for Bob.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "Blackberry", "e-mail", "day", "night", "delicious" ] }, { "date": "2005-02-13", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally shows Asok how to cover a stupid mistake. Just convince the Boss it was his own fault.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "erased", "customer database", "backups", "explain", "laptop computer", "prototype", "don't touch", "stupid", "injury" ] }, { "date": "2005-02-14", "subject": "Law", "saga": "Dogbert, the source of all Internet spam", "synopsis": "The FBI has traced all Internet spam to Dilbert's house.", "characters": [ "FBI agent", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "FBI", "sunglasses", "traced", "source", "Internet", "spam", "revolution", "pill", "body fat", "Rolex watch" ] }, { "date": "2005-02-15", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "FBI agents confront Dogbert about his sending of spam.", "characters": [ "FBI agent", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "FBI", "source", "Internet", "spam", "director", "fired", "dress up", "mammal", "creepy" ] }, { "date": "2005-02-16", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Carol is collecting for Ted's baby shower. Wally takes a refund.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "collecting", "money", "baby shower", "taxes", "subsidise", "brat", "refund", "responsible", "poor fiscal planning" ] }, { "date": "2005-02-17", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss encourages everybody to vote. Wally objects.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "election", "close", "important", "vote", "smart", "well-informed", "evenly divided", "intelligence", "factor", "complain", "result" ] }, { "date": "2005-02-18", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert goes to work for the cable company", "synopsis": "Dogbert goes to work for the cable company.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cable company", "tool", "gizmo", "abuse", "service window", "Regis and Kelly", "telephone headset" ] }, { "date": "2005-02-19", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert abuses another cable company customer.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "cable company", "picture", "fuzzy", "glasses", "couch", "tech support", "telephone headset" ] }, { "date": "2005-02-20", "subject": "Presentation", "synopsis": "In preparing for a presentation to the VP, the Boss tells Dilbert to not have any content.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "VP" ], "keywords": [ "pre-meeting", "problems", "fix", "budget", "deadline", "reduce", "technical", "confuse", "nothing", "summary", "question", "nauseated", "dizzy", "great job", "success", "hate humanity" ] }, { "date": "2005-02-21", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss mistakenly thinks he left his chapstick in Wally's cubicle.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "chapstick", "taste", "different", "glue stick", "quiet" ] }, { "date": "2005-02-22", "subject": "Business", "saga": "Customers with bad credit", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells a small businessman he must do a credit check before doing any work.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "small businessman" ], "keywords": [ "credit check", "work", "policy", "resent", "deadbeat", "parking garage", "acorn" ] }, { "date": "2005-02-23", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "Dilbert determines they must sell to customers who have bad credit.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "sales target", "customers", "bad credit", "bonus", "accounts receivable", "worthless", "key", "surprised", "unclean" ] }, { "date": "2005-02-24", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dogbert determines Dilbert is a sociopath.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "bonus", "selling", "customer", "can't pay", "delicious", "congratulation", "sociopath" ] }, { "date": "2005-02-25", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "Tina misreads Dilbert's body language", "synopsis": "Tina misinterprets the way Dilbert is sitting.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Asok", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "respect", "work", "sitting", "hate", "fury", "thousand suns", "die", "sat down wrong", "wedgie" ] }, { "date": "2005-02-26", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Tina tries to reconcile with Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "talk", "work out", "problem", "utter disrespect" ] }, { "date": "2005-02-27", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "The Boss predetermines Dilbert won't meet his deadline and dings his performance review.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "deadline", "finish", "schedule", "ding", "disagree", "raise", "imagine", "future", "average" ] }, { "date": "2005-02-28", "subject": "Society", "saga": "Wally goes to Elbonia", "synopsis": "The Boss plans on sending Wally to Elbonia. He wants Wally to first take a class in Elbonian culture.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "Elbonia", "class", "culture", "accident", "offend", "gesture", "hello", "mittens", "bedroom floor", "proposition", "sexual harassment" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-01", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Wally attends an Elbonian culture class.", "characters": [ "Elbonian", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "culture", "class", "course", "businessman", "business card", "crumple", "mouth", "chew", "spit", "forehead", "duelling", "yak bones" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-02", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Wally flies to Elbonia.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Elbonian", "Elbonian pig" ], "keywords": [ "landing strip", "jump", "airplane", "flap", "arm", "aim", "plump", "cushion" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-03", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Wally lands in Elbonia.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Elbonian", "Elbonian pig" ], "keywords": [ "luggage", "suitcase", "eyeglasses", "America", "here to help" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-04", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Wally explains to the Elbonians he's there to solve all of their problems.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "America", "fix", "problem", "arrogance", "offencive", "armed resistance", "fight", "end of time" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-05", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Wally reports his trip to Elbonia was successful.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "business trip", "Elbonia", "success", "civil war", "lie", "loot", "souvenir" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss wants an assistant manager who is slightly worse than him in every way.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert", "assistant manager" ], "keywords": [ "hire", "similar", "slightly worse", "ideal candidate", "threat", "replace", "database", "applicant", "hideous", "criminally insane", "pretend", "five languages" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-07", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "The Boss assigns Wally to help Alice", "synopsis": "The Boss wants Wally to help Alice on her project.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "help", "project", "work harder", "dependent" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-08", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss is disappointed with the way Wally helped Alice.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "help", "project", "work harder", "expect", "tell", "shut up" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-09", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Carol insults Wally and feels her first tingle of job satisfaction.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "problem", "rat", "upgrade", "hygiene", "rat bait", "unwashed", "tingle", "job satisfaction" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-10", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Wally challenges some cliches.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Asok", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "notice", "kill", "weaker", "great minds", "think alike", "patent office", "invention", "suspicious", "cried", "spilt milk", "cashier", "bill", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-11", "subject": "Management", "saga": "The Company relocates to a high-crime area", "synopsis": "The Boss announces the Company is relocating to a high-crime area.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "relocate", "high-crime area", "tax reasons", "CEO", "safety", "limo", "underground parking garage", "chain", "bicycle", "wino" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Catbert reassures the department about the relocation to a high-crime area.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Alice", "Boss", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "high-crime area", "expert", "chance of survival", "outside", "estimate", "assumption", "gang member", "exhausted", "beat" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-13", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The Boss is confused about which project is which.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "staff", "caribou", "new chip", "Caribbean", "muskrat", "projected return", "research capital", "enterprise software", "meerkat", "musk ox", "zebra", "panda", "squirrel", "status report", "proboscis monkey", "fault" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice hates walking to work in a high-crime area.", "characters": [ "Alice", "CFO", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "hate", "walking", "high-crime area", "fiduciary", "misconduct", "attack" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-15", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Company is being relocated back out of the high-crime area.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "move", "office", "high-crime area", "beaten up", "pyramid-shaped hair", "police", "sketch", "fist of death" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-16", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "Carol gives Asok her job of setting up a conference call", "synopsis": "Carol gets Asok to set up a conference call for her.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "set up", "conference call", "division manager", "secretary", "appointment", "question" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-17", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Asok sets up a conference call.", "characters": [ "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "intern", "set up", "conference call", "schedule" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-18", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Asok reports the conference call he arranged was a success.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "conference call", "success", "available", "forgot", "telephone call", "mute button" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-19", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss demands a forecast from Alice.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "forecast", "right now", "predict", "pants", "choke", "death", "belt", "townspeople", "statue", "honour" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-20", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss mistakenly pledges his loyalty to a dead guy in a meeting.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "dead guy" ], "keywords": [ "introduction", "instinct", "figure out", "important", "senior executive", "disengaged", "mirror", "mannerism", "side comment", "sense of humour", "pledge", "loyalty" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-21", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss literally doesn't know how to tell Ted he's being fired.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "don't know how to say this", "lean up", "process improvement process", "smartsize", "downsize", "resource", "figure of speech" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-22", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dogbert uses arguments based on definitions not found in any dictionary.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "argument", "definition", "dictionary", "fascist", "pyjamas", "top" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-23", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert has copyrighted all of the stupidest opinions in the universe.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "man", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "entitled", "opinion", "copyright", "stupidest", "universe", "never", "uttered", "drink", "bar", "wine" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-24", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "Tina starts a rumour Dilbert hates a project", "synopsis": "Tina accuses Dilbert of thinking the software integration project is a waste of time.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "software", "integration", "project", "waste of time", "history", "guide", "defend", "misunderstanding", "hallucinate" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-25", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Dogbert about being a victim of an ugly rumour at work.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "victim", "ugly", "rumour", "bad news", "clarification" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss confronts Dilbert about hating the software integration project.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "hate", "software", "integration", "project", "pros", "cons", "conditioned", "take sides", "balanced analysis", "hard to be me" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-27", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "Carol takes advantage of being shared by two managers.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss", "manager" ], "keywords": [ "share", "drowning in work", "double", "load", "prioritise", "fax", "top priority", "business card", "Marmaduke", "comic", "newspaper" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-28", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "Dilbert prescribes drugs from the Internet", "synopsis": "Dogbert recommends Dilbert prescribe medicines from the Internet to fix his co-workers' disorders.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "problem", "emotionally unstable", "co-worker", "prescribe", "meds", "medicine", "drug", "Internet", "fix", "defect", "wrong choice", "sexually aroused", "Viagra", "aphrodisiac" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-29", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert gives some pills to Wally because he's bloated and lethargic.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "bloated", "lethargic", "prescribe", "pill", "medicine", "drug", "highly recommended", "safe", "Internet", "horn" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-30", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "Dilbert gives Karl some pills to help with his habitual lying.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Karl" ], "keywords": [ "habitual liar", "pill", "medicine", "drug", "Internet", "can't resist", "free stuff", "skull" ] }, { "date": "2005-03-31", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "Karl, the habitual liar, has been reduced to a skeleton but insists he feels great.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Karl", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "habitual liar", "died", "feel great", "dead", "head", "skull", "carbs", "carbohydrates", "detached", "yoga", "decapitated" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-01", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "Alice cremates Karl, the habitual liar, to try to convince him he's dead.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Karl" ], "keywords": [ "habitual liar", "story", "alive", "feel terrific", "marathon", "cremation", "bottle", "genie", "wish", "urn" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-02", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "Karl, the habitual liar, claims he's learning salsa dancing in his urn.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Karl", "dance instructor" ], "keywords": [ "cremated", "habitual liar", "learn", "salsa dance", "body", "focus", "urn", "bottle" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-03", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Wally is developing stupidity-blocking headphones and demonstrates the prototype.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "prototype", "product", "developing", "modified", "noise-cancellation", "headphones", "stupidity", "block", "bliss", "chatter", "ordinary" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-04", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "Wally wants a nickname", "synopsis": "Wally wants a nickname to create the illusion of competence.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "nickname", "illusion", "competence", "The Wizard", "Info-Guru", "punch" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-05", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally tells Alice his new nickname is \"The Wizard.\"", "characters": [ "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "nickname", "The Wizard", "guru", "status", "The Lizard", "small brain", "lack of ambition" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-06", "subject": "Project", "saga": "Marketing campaign with no budget", "synopsis": "The Boss selects Dilbert to head up a new marketing campaign with no budget.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Asok", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "marketing", "campaign", "budget", "brave", "lead", "bold", "risky", "hiding under the table" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-07", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants the customer satisfaction survey filled out before he gives tech support.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "online", "customer satisfaction", "survey", "help", "happy", "expect", "telephone headset" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-08", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert handpicks Wally and Yvonne for his project.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Wally", "Yvonne" ], "keywords": [ "hand-picked", "budget", "lazy", "most work", "least effort", "hotness", "power", "disability leave" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-09", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert is still determined even though he has no budget and no staff for his project.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "budget", "staff", "wit", "computer", "pencil" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss assigns Alice her regular goals and her stretch goals.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "stretch goal", "achieve", "sacrifice", "health", "personal life", "criminal conduct", "raise", "bonus", "budget", "salary", "ultra-stretchy goal" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-11", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dogbert has an idea to help Dilbert's unfunded project succeed.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Donald Trump impersonator", "Melania Knauss impersonator" ], "keywords": [ "marketing", "campaign", "resource", "free samples", "celebrity", "free stuff", "dead cat" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-12", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert's marketing campaign was successful, which lowers his respect for people.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "marketing", "plan", "free sample", "celebrity", "lookalike", "worked", "decline", "respect", "intelligence", "fine line", "hate" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-13", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "Asok becomes a member of the \"World's Greatest Interns\" scam.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "member", "World's Greatest Intern", "scam", "gullible", "overpriced", "plaque", "display", "prominent" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-14", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Marketing's plan is to brand a sports stadium with the Company's name.", "characters": [ "marketeer", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Boss", "baseball player" ], "keywords": [ "plan", "sports stadium", "brand", "juiced up", "steroids", "reputation", "comparison", "rage" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-15", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "The Boss takes the staff out to a five-star restaurant. Carol has to stay behind and answer phones.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "entire staff", "five-star", "restaurant", "lunch", "food", "intoxicate", "wine", "once-in-a-lifetime", "sensation", "answer", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-16", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "The Boss is a victim of identity theft.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "police", "victim", "identity theft", "doomed", "stranger", "underpants", "underwear" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-17", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "Introducing Loopy, the woman who couldn't end a story.", "characters": [ "Loopy", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "end", "story", "vacation", "coconut", "trapped", "escape", "ejector seat", "pursuit chair", "picture", "traffic" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-18", "subject": "Vendor", "synopsis": "Dilbert's vendor says he can't deliver for three months.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "vendor" ], "keywords": [ "deliver", "part", "promise", "customer", "threaten" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-19", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "All Dilbert did was design one microchip, the Boss attended dozens of meetings.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "quarter", "performance review", "design", "microchip", "comparison", "meeting" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-20", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dilbert's doctor prescribes a drug so the doctor can get a date with the drug company's rep.", "characters": [ "doctor", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "healthy", "prescription", "Toxikill", "drug", "totally hot", "lunch", "date", "side effect", "stethoscope" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-21", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss consoles his people with the fact that, percentage wise, his raise is smaller than theirs.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "feel bad", "raise", "bigger", "mathy" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-22", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells a tech support customer he must try all possible fixes in every possible combination.", "characters": [ "customer", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Crashinbox(TM)", "computer", "freeze", "possible", "fix", "combination", "guarantee", "lazy" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-23", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dilbert notices his mother only invites him over when she needs a cable pulled.", "characters": [ "Dilbert's Mom", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "dear", "cat-5", "closet", "invite", "cable", "pulled", "bug", "salad" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-24", "subject": "Work Avoidance", "synopsis": "Wally's accomplishment for the month was opening an e-mail attachment.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "accomplishment", "open", "file", "attachment", "e-mail", "software", "download", "viewer", "Internet", "browser", "support", "upgrade", "operating system", "application", "hard disk", "transfer" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-25", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "Catbert advises the Boss to not give employees \"excellent\" or \"poor\" ratings.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "rating", "rate", "excellent", "good", "poor", "ability", "motivate", "scowl" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-26", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "The Boss explains to Wally he's rating him \"good\" but not because he is.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "policy", "fire", "hiring freeze", "shrink", "empire", "kill", "promise" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss gives Asok a slight promotion.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "slight", "promotion", "cubicle", "larger", "shaving", "fabric", "wally", "title", "spell", "pronounce", "different", "shaver", "razor" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-28", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "Tina needs an engineer's help", "synopsis": "Tina asks Alice for help with a technical problem.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "technical", "glitch", "problem", "humble", "condescending", "engineer", "help", "college", "drink", "beer", "English literature", "apology" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-29", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice tells Tina how to fix her technical problem. Tina doesn't understand Alice's instructions.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "local cache mode", "MAPI setting", "disable", "delete", "duplicate", "messaging subsystem", "registry key", "understand", "simpler", "funny", "cruel" ] }, { "date": "2005-04-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally announces the Boss has failed to motivate him.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "motivate", "fail", "co-worker", "plotting", "sabotage", "career", "inspirational" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-01", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss confronts Alice about her badgering of managers.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "complaint", "badgering", "decision", "critical issue", "ignore", "e-mail", "telephone call", "insist", "overpaid" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-02", "subject": "Dating", "saga": "Lola, Dilbert's new cubicle-mate", "synopsis": "The Boss wants Dilbert to share his cubicle with a beautiful woman named Lola.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Lola" ], "keywords": [ "space", "share", "cubicle", "fight", "board of directors", "remember", "teamwork" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-03", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Lola wants to sit on Dilbert's lap while she works and discusses Star Trek.", "characters": [ "Lola", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "share", "cubicle", "chair", "lap", "Star Trek", "series", "laptop computer" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-04", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Dogbert whether or not he should date a co-worker.", "note": "A completely different strip was published by one newspaper's online archive. The different strip showed Dogbert on a pillow contemplating corn starch and wondering why anyone would iron corn.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "co-worker", "pulse", "bad judgement", "restraining order", "hot", "still warm" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-05", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Lola admits she would date Dilbert, but they share a cubicle.", "characters": [ "Lola", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "share", "cubicle", "back massage", "reminded", "incredible time together" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-06", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Catbert announces employees are not allowed to date each other.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Lola", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Asok", "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "campaign", "employee happiness", "not allowed", "each other", "forbidden fruit", "yummy", "rule-breaker" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-07", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Lola moves out of Dilbert's cubicle and takes everything.", "characters": [ "Lola", "lawyer", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "vacancy", "move", "attorney", "divide", "workspace", "property", "eyebrow", "client", "nude" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-08", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert convinces the Boss their software is all ones. He can buy zeros from Dogbert, but must arrange them himself.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "audit", "software system", "software development", "scrap", "clever combination", "zero", "one", "tweak", "arrange", "little assignment" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-09", "subject": "Health", "saga": "The upbeat new employee", "synopsis": "A new hire develops a stress hump on his first day.", "characters": [ "new hire", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "first day", "employee orientation", "start", "busy", "web site", "guess", "hump", "back", "stress" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-10", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "The new hire has nothing to do and must resist the urge to name his stress hump.", "characters": [ "new hire" ], "keywords": [ "new employee", "assignment", "computer", "friend", "hump", "stress", "resist", "urge", "name", "talk" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-11", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "The new hire starts looking to make a friend.", "characters": [ "new hire", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "new employee", "friend", "reduce", "stress", "hump", "judged", "associate", "lazy" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-12", "subject": "Work Avoidance", "synopsis": "Wally gets the new hire to do his work.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "new hire" ], "keywords": [ "new guy", "culture", "teamwork", "task", "assignment", "unimaginable difficulty", "sucker" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-13", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Alice punches the new hire's stress hump moving it down to his butt.", "characters": [ "new hire", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "new guy", "stress", "hump", "fix", "punch", "gone", "honest" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-14", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "The new hire asks for a few days off to see if his stress hump goes away.", "characters": [ "new hire", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "day off", "vacation", "stress", "hump", "goes away", "fire" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-15", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "The Boss hires Dogbert as a consultant for $400 an hour.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "agreed", "expensive", "get what you pay for", "ball rolling", "question", "process", "recommendation", "slow" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-16", "subject": "Nature", "saga": "The Boss buys a new SUV", "synopsis": "The is shopping for a new vehicle.", "characters": [ "Boss", "salesman" ], "keywords": [ "practical", "vehicle", "environment", "Envirocrusher-4", "40 tons", "owl", "fuel", "engine noise", "stun", "SUV" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-17", "subject": "Nature", "synopsis": "The Boss can't find enough owls to fuel his new SUV, so he starts breeding his own.", "note": "Most newspapers published a censored version of this strip. The censored version had the final panel covered up with a note that said the offensive finale may be seen by going to dilbert.com. The uncensored version showed the Boss in a hot tub with an owl.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol", "owl" ], "keywords": [ "SUV", "fuel", "good idea", "breeding", "rodent", "hot tub", "jacuzzi", "wine" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-18", "subject": "Accounting", "synopsis": "An accounting troll doesn't want photocopies of receipts, but faxing them is OK.", "characters": [ "troll", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "process", "travel expenses", "photocopy", "receipt", "original", "fax", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-19", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Alice there's no budget for a raise due to his hotel costs.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "blame", "raise", "business\/trip", "Las Vegas", "passed out", "bathtub", "water", "running", "flooded", "bartender", "irresponsible" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-20", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss gives Asok an assignment. Wally gives Asok advice.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "important", "month", "start", "smarter", "last minute", "big show", "unreasonable deadline" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-21", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "Catbert tells the Boss he needs a leadership succession plan.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "leadership", "succession", "plan", "hiring freeze", "staff", "promotion", "bad idea" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-22", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Alice personal items can't be higher than the cubicle walls.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "personal item", "higher", "cubicle wall", "curiosity", "logic", "bizarre", "smooth line-of-sight", "aesthetic", "Einstein doll", "hideous", "stock price", "beautiful", "soul", "music" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-23", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells Dilbert about a medical procedure that will make him attractive to the opposite sex.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "medical", "procedure", "attractive", "opposite sex", "doctor", "remove", "body part", "replace", "painful", "all at once" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-24", "subject": "Personal", "saga": "Dilbert wants to balance his career with his personal life", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Catbert for help with balancing his career with his personal life.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "help", "balance", "career", "book", "No One Will Every Love You", "crush", "hop", "unhealthy", "pill", "crybaby" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-25", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Alice for help with balancing his career with his personal life.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "trouble", "balance", "work", "anger", "destabilise", "hormonal balance", "crush", "competing urge", "punch", "biological clock" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-26", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Wally offers Dilbert advice on how to balance his career and his personal life.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "good advice", "balance", "zen", "approach", "friend", "perfect", "make stuff up", "lunch" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-27", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Milt for advice on how to balance his career and his personal life.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Milt" ], "keywords": [ "wife", "kid", "exercise", "eating", "healthy", "dangerous", "trained", "defibrillator" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-28", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells a tech support customer he has a bad case of computer rot.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "case", "computer rot", "designed", "slower", "unreliable", "over time", "upgrade", "false hope", "defragment", "disk drive", "telephone headset" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-29", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows the Boss something he's proud of.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "show", "proud", "pride", "automated", "task", "resourceful", "lazy", "brilliant", "accomplishment", "character flaw", "complainer", "forget", "quitter" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-30", "subject": "Psychology", "synopsis": "The Elbonians trick the department into giving themselves wedgies.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "product", "name", "Elbonian language", "definition", "intense pleasure", "yourself", "wedgie", "hatched", "greatest prank", "perpetrated", "gotta try that" ] }, { "date": "2005-05-31", "subject": "Character", "saga": "The Boss hires a guy with a fake British accent", "synopsis": "The Boss thought he hired a genius. But it turns out he was just faking a British accent.", "characters": [ "Boss", "new hire", "Alice", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "hire", "genius", "ordinary", "fake", "British", "English", "accent", "sexy", "sound" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-01", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "Alice and Carol argue over who gets the new hire with his fake British accent.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Carol", "new hire" ], "keywords": [ "love", "new guy", "fake", "British", "English", "accent", "married", "forget", "single" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-02", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Alice she is one of two candidates for a promotion.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "congratulation", "candidate", "promotion", "qualification", "voice", "face" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-03", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "Wally reports he couldn't do his job because of the Boss's freeze on expenses.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "software", "freeze", "expense", "freeware", "open source", "version", "available", "develop", "coffee-sipping", "noise" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-04", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss zings an employee leaning against a wall.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "structural engineer", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "holding up the wall", "zing", "crush", "fell over" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-05", "subject": "Work Avoidance", "synopsis": "Wally chooses a literal interpretation of a motivational poster.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "status report", "blank", "eagle", "type", "motivational poster", "break room", "spirit", "soar", "mundane", "soul", "decay", "you want it when?" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-06", "subject": "Vendor", "synopsis": "The Boss wants Dilbert to ask a vendor to add an extra option for free.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "beta version", "archive option", "no extra money", "free", "save time", "raging moron", "ask", "yell" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-07", "subject": "Personal", "saga": "Dogbert, the life coach", "synopsis": "Dogbert becomes the Boss's life coach.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "life coach", "unmotivated", "drift", "unorganised", "dolt", "confuse" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-08", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dogbert, the life coach, instructs the Boss to keep a journal of everything he does.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "journal", "help", "writing", "personal growth" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-09", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally observes all of the good people have quit.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "noticed", "good people", "quit", "wretched", "incompetent", "lazy", "miscreant", "anyhoo" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert reports he doesn't have enough resources to do his job. The Boss is unimpressed.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "resource", "how now brown cow", "worse" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-11", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "The Boss cuts Dilbert's project by ten percent.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "ten percent", "round number", "thinking", "affect", "result", "cutting back" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "An employee asks the Boss for a day off because his son is having his tonsils removed.", "characters": [ "Boss", "employee" ], "keywords": [ "day off", "vacation", "health", "surgery", "tonsils removed", "tonsillectomy", "rare blood type", "donate", "waiting room", "moral support", "immoral" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-13", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "Catbert announces all birthdays will be celebrated on the same day to improve efficiency.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "efficiency", "birthday", "celebrated", "same day", "year", "forever", "special", "yesterday" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-14", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "Dogbert presents the Boss with a bill for the consulting he had done in his head.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "bill", "report", "head", "waste paper", "recommendation", "status quo" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-15", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "The Boss complains Dogbert, as a consultant, never makes any recommendations.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "paying", "recommendation", "feel good", "secure", "knowledge", "brilliant", "strategy", "weird" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-16", "subject": "Consultant", "synopsis": "The Boss becomes a victim of Dogbert's consult and blabbery.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "doctor", "Boss", "police officer" ], "keywords": [ "incentivise", "incentive", "resource", "grow", "bandwidth", "end state", "vision", "kimono", "change agent", "brain dump", "drill down", "core competency", "confused look", "huge invoice", "victim", "consult and blabbery", "magnifying glass", "eye" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-17", "subject": "Work Avoidance", "synopsis": "Wally asks the Boss for a new assignment that will challenge his abilities.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "tiger meat", "project", "challenge", "ability", "glory", "delight", "stockholder", "motivated" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-18", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces the Company's core values.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Asok", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "core value", "service", "integrity", "respect", "teamwork", "responsibility", "trust", "honesty", "fun", "passion", "fairness", "excellence", "inherent conflict", "hygiene" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-19", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss gives Dilbert an assignment late, and tries to motivate him by reading the slogans from motivational posters.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "weekend", "finish", "deadline", "soar", "eagle", "motivational poster", "question", "cell phone", "luxury sailboat", "heat", "kitchen" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-20", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert gets rid of an underperforming CEO", "synopsis": "Dogbert, the consultant, recommends getting rid of their underperforming CEO.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "CEO", "Asok", "Boss", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "worst performer", "Fortune 500", "convince", "reckless", "adventurer", "bungee jump", "active volcano" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-21", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert convinces the CEO to bungee jump into a volcano.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "CEO" ], "keywords": [ "PR", "public relations", "fearless", "adventurer", "dangerous", "CFO", "chief financial officer", "safety", "estimate", "length", "bungee cord", "bungee jump", "volcano", "lava", "magma", "pedestal" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-22", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells Dilbert how he got rid of the underperforming CEO.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "underperforming", "convinced", "bungee jump", "live volcano", "problem solved", "punished", "pumiced", "evil", "amusing" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-23", "subject": "Leadership", "saga": "Dogbert finds the Company a new CEO: first a vampire, then Ratbert", "synopsis": "Dogbert searches for a new CEO.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "vampire", "Boss", "manager", "victim" ], "keywords": [ "executive search firm", "hire", "CEO", "buzz", "reputation", "toughness", "torch", "cape", "fang", "blood sucking" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-24", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks a vampire to be the new CEO.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "vampire", "Boss", "manager" ], "keywords": [ "executive search firm", "CEO", "major corporation", "dental plan", "benefit", "effective", "day", "pedestal", "cape", "fang", "coffin", "casket" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-25", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks Ratbert if he would like to be the new CEO.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Ratbert", "Boss", "manager" ], "keywords": [ "executive search firm", "CEO", "major corporation", "dream", "extension cord", "power cord", "gnaw", "committed", "see it through", "risk taker", "achieve", "goal", "eye", "tail", "electrocute" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "A co-worker thinks the ancient Egyptians might have already patented Dilbert design.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "diagram", "presentation", "design", "plan", "question", "hieroglyphic", "patent", "risk", "ancient Egyptian", "microchip", "pyramid", "research", "schedule" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-27", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Ratbert, the CEO, tells his secretary to have his driver fetch his limo.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Harold" ], "keywords": [ "Miss Pennington", "driver", "fetch", "limo", "name", "legally changed", "wrong", "surgery", "sex change", "telephone", "intercom" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-28", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Ratbert demonstrates how becoming a CEO has made him smarter.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "best part", "CEO", "smarter", "capital of Japan", "Mitsubishi", "right", "genius", "yesterday", "nine" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-29", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Ratbert, the CEO, is losing his empathy.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "empathy", "decorating", "office", "important", "health care", "plan", "varnished", "desk", "furniture", "remodelling" ] }, { "date": "2005-06-30", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Ratbert, the CEO, gets fired for abusing the employees.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "director" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "board of directors", "dipping", "employee", "varnish", "office furniture", "fire", "severance package", "corporate jet", "perpetual benefit", "salary", "taking it well", "victory dance", "happy dance" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-01", "subject": "Personality", "synopsis": "Ratbert brags about being worth more money than Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "engineer", "success", "fail", "funny", "reverse", "head", "glass" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-02", "subject": "ISO 9000", "synopsis": "The Boss announces everything they do will be part of a documented process.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "shoddy", "mistake", "documentation", "process" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-03", "subject": "Productivity", "synopsis": "The Boss wants Dilbert to come to his office to talk.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "office", "privacy", "example", "information", "geographically dependent", "benchmark", "cubicle" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-04", "subject": "Dating", "saga": "Dilbert dates a beautiful co-worker", "synopsis": "A beautiful woman wants to date Dilbert because she's tired of dating sexy, handsome men.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "ex-boyfriend", "sexy", "handsome" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-05", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert dates a woman who's tired of dating pretty boys.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "restaurant", "wine", "pretty boy", "bad manners" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-06", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "The company lawyer analyses a contract that's subject to the \"reasonable man\" interpretation.", "characters": [ "lawyer", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "contract", "reasonable man", "interpretation", "threat" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-07", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date tells him she'll use clues when he's done something she doesn't like.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "don't like", "curse", "curse", "spit", "forehead" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-08", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date wonders why men can't learn to communicate.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "fair", "spit", "disagree", "crazy", "quiet", "communicate" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-09", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "The Boss goes to the doctor due to a bad case of manager's elbow.", "characters": [ "doctor", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "manager's elbow", "patting", "back", "butt", "Cirque du Soleil", "prescription", "leotard", "stethoscope", "underwear" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-10", "subject": "Work Avoidance", "synopsis": "Wally teaches Asok the \"Wally Reflector\" move.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Asok", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "teach", "reflector", "work", "resistance", "offender", "demonstration", "design", "database", "product feature", "service", "comprehensive list", "data field", "inspire", "creepy" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-11", "subject": "Travel", "saga": "The Boss and Asok fly to a meeting in LA", "synopsis": "The Boss wants Asok to join him on a flight to L.A.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "boarding steward" ], "keywords": [ "fly", "Los Angeles", "meeting", "milestone", "career", "pre-board", "ticket", "boarding pass" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-12", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "The Boss makes Asok ride in the overhead storage so he can have more leg room.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "passenger" ], "keywords": [ "seat assignment", "cramped", "scooch over" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-13", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "The Boss orders a wake-up call at a hotel.", "characters": [ "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "wake-up call", "team", "bellmen", "bellman", "maid", "pants", "manager", "bathrobe", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-14", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "The Boss orders breakfast and a massage at the hotel.", "characters": [ "Boss", "waiter" ], "keywords": [ "hotel", "breakfast", "massage", "breakfast cart", "telephone", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-15", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "The Boss checks out of the hotel.", "characters": [ "Boss", "hotel clerk" ], "keywords": [ "check out", "movie", "rented", "recommend", "burn", "furniture" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-16", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dogbert invents a cure for the common cold. It's side-effects are the same as the symptoms of a cold.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "invent", "cure", "common cold", "side-effect", "cough", "sore throat", "runny nose", "congestion", "nausea" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-17", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dilbert says the Boss's budget will only work if everything goes perfectly.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "budget", "project", "problem", "plan", "failure", "deceptive forecast", "shocked", "inspire", "optimism", "swelling" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-18", "subject": "Business", "saga": "The Elbonians want a bribe", "synopsis": "An Elbonian demands a bribe before giving a contract to Dilbert's company.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "bid", "cell phone", "network", "illegal", "bribe", "nuclear weapon", "flavor" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-19", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert how to deal with the Elbonians.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonian", "bribe", "overpaid", "consultant", "legal", "caught", "potato", "po-tay-to", "po-tah-to" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-20", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells Dilbert how to deal with the Elbonians.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonian", "bribe", "plan", "nuclear weapon", "microwave oven", "Persian rug" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-21", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "Dilbert gives the Elbonians fake plans for a nuclear weapon in order to win a contract.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonia", "bid", "contract", "promise", "nuclear warhead", "Internet", "modify", "toaster", "blueprint", "bread" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-22", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Dilbert says the project has a 30% chance of complete disaster. The Boss likes the odds.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "chance", "minor success", "corporate ruination", "odd" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-23", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows the Boss the best way to make their decision.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "decision", "calculate", "expected value", "outcome", "multiply", "pretend", "dead", "tongue" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-24", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok finds the Boss's behaviour described in the book \"Putrid Boss\". The Boss retaliates.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "hammer", "mallet", "intimidation" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-25", "subject": "Performance Review", "synopsis": "The Boss has to give a failing performance review to 20% of his 4 staff members.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "monkey hurlage" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-26", "subject": "Management", "saga": "The Boss wants his absent-mindedness cured", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice where the quality estimates he asked for are.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "quality estimate", "blame" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-27", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "A doctor recommends the Boss have his brain replaced with a monkey brain.", "characters": [ "Boss", "doctor" ], "keywords": [ "insult", "stethoscope" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-28", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "A doctor refers the Boss to Dr. Dogbert for a brain replacement.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert", "doctor" ], "keywords": [ "cauliflower", "stethoscope", "absent-mindedness", "specialist", "surgery", "operation" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-29", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dr. Dogbert describes the surgery he's about to perform on the Boss.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "cauliflower", "stethoscope", "surgery", "insurance", "anaesthetic", "hospital bed", "operation" ] }, { "date": "2005-07-30", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "The Boss returns from his brain transplant surgery believing he is much smarter.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "surgery", "operation", "salad dressing", "quiz", "test", "bandage", "roman general", "Rubicon", "Caesar", "Dijon vinaigrette." ] }, { "date": "2005-07-31", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss makes a \"car call\" to Alice. She causes him to crash to get him off the phone.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "car call", "telephone", "cell phone", "waste of time", "distraction", "crash", "traffic", "entertainment", "small talk", "going to hell" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-01", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Mordac assigns Dilbert a new password.", "characters": [ "Mordac", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "The Da Vinci Code", "scenery description", "book", "password", "annoy" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-02", "subject": "Corporate Services", "synopsis": "Mordac changes Alice's screensaver security to lock up after two seconds of inactivity. Alice responds with a head-bobbing bird.", "characters": [ "Mordac", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "screensaver", "security", "inactivity", "keyboard", "login", "head-bobbing bird" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-03", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert, the police negotiator", "synopsis": "Dogbert decides to become a suicide negotiator for the police.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "police officer" ], "keywords": [ "negotiator", "jumper", "suicide", "fall", "reverse psychology" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-04", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "note": "Two preliminary versions of this strip were shown on Scott's blog. The first version showed the cop firing his gun. The second version had the middle panel replaced with \"bam bam bam bam\". The published version was like the first version except the cop was firing a donut instead of a gun.", "synopsis": "Dogbert negotiates a person's surrender.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "police officer" ], "keywords": [ "negotiator", "cop", "police car", "bullhorn", "doughnut", "gun", "pistol", "shootout", "shooting" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-05", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally reports he's complying with all of the Boss's policies.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "ISO 9000", "Sarbanes-Oxley", "SEI-5", "compliance", "pretending to work" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-06", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert discuss guilt and karma in a bad doodle.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "guilt", "defective product", "karma", "deserve", "bad doodle", "mushroom", "gadget", "weird" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-07", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice learns why it's a bad idea to discuss her raise with co-workers.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Carol", "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "raise", "humiliating", "frustration", "percentage" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-08", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Alice he has good news -- she didn't get her promotion. Alice is not amused.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "good news", "promotion", "positivity", "management" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-09", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "Wally, the marathon runner", "synopsis": "The Boss tells his staff one of them will be running a marathon the next day.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "good news", "bad news", "marathon team", "corporate", "26 miles" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-10", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "The Boss selects Wally to run in the corporate marathon.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "marathon", "corporate", "26 miles", "coffee" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-11", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss calls for honesty in the project postmortem.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Asok", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "postmortem", "honest", "colossal ineptitude", "natural talent", "blame", "finger pointing" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-12", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert takes up a new hobby: phishing.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "hobby", "phishing", "banking", "financial", "stealing", "social security number", "password", "gullible" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-13", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert talks to his date about the office politics of doughnuts.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman", "waitress" ], "keywords": [ "restaurant", "xeno's doughnut", "flower", "hard liquor" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Asok takes the annual employee satisfaction survey for Catbert.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Catbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "evil wind", "benefit", "human resources", "survey", "office politics" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-15", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Ratbert listens to the life story of the world's fastest lawyer.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "lawyer", "client" ], "keywords": [ "homeless", "wino", "world's fastest worker", "lawyer", "estate plan", "will", "bill" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-16", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Topper tops the Feature Creep.", "characters": [ "Feature Creep", "Topper" ], "keywords": [ "competition", "keyword search function", "foreign language", "Friulian", "Kataang", "Horpa", "Wagi", "marriage", "civil union" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-17", "subject": "Personality", "synopsis": "Topper tops a customer.", "characters": [ "Topper", "customer" ], "keywords": [ "Iditarod", "dogsled race", "world's toughest terrain", "burn" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-18", "subject": "Personality", "synopsis": "Topper tops Alice about sleep deprivation.", "characters": [ "Topper", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "sleep deprivation" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-19", "subject": "Personality", "synopsis": "Topper tops the Boss about fishing.", "characters": [ "Topper", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "fish", "fishing", "dinosaur", "dental floss", "pull tab", "beer can", "barbecue sauce" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-20", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss plans to use a newly-available window-facing cubicle to store printer paper.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "cubicle", "prestigious", "prestige", "printer paper", "free trip", "bleach out", "wood chip" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-21", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert is broadcasting the news on the Dogbert Easy News Channel.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "television", "television camera", "pronunciation", "top story", "telephone", "debate", "panelist", "dumb crook" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-22", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss gives Dilbert instructions full of jargon and undefined acronyms.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "acronym", "initialism", "LDC", "MRT", "URPED", "RFIT", "NERKED", "ORCAT" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-23", "subject": "Management", "saga": "The Boss selects a new programming language", "synopsis": "The Boss decides to standardise on a new programming language.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Asok", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "black hole", "objective" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-24", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss decides to standardise on a new programming methodology in the middle of the project.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "coding", "programming", "moron", "standardise", "methodology" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-25", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert reports the results of the Boss changing their coding language and methodology.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "coding", "programming", "language", "methodology", "timeline", "MC Escher", "deep-sea submarine", "morale", "new feature" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-26", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert deletes the Boss's e-mail thinking it's spam.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "urgent", "subject", "e-mail" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-27", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert explains his new idea: the stealth layoff.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "layoff" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss appoints Dilbert his new Director of Post-Decision Support.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "Director of Post-Decision Support", "tears of joy", "nuclear contract", "North Elbonia", "fallout" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-29", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert decides to start a discount religion.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "religion", "tithing", "sin" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-30", "subject": "Secretary", "saga": "Carol gets the Boss the least expensive flight available", "synopsis": "Carol gets the Boss the least expensive flight available.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "company policy", "travel", "flight", "connecting flight", "layover", "prison", "ballerina", "tutu", "police officer", "cop", "national monument", "desecration", "jail" ] }, { "date": "2005-08-31", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "The Boss gets upset about the Elbonian Airlines agent making a \"joke\".", "characters": [ "Boss", "Elbonian", "cannibal" ], "keywords": [ "airline food", "cannibal", "joke", "funny", "seating", "skull", "bone", "grass skirt" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-01", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "The Boss gets seated next to a cannibal on an airplane.", "characters": [ "Boss", "cannibal" ], "keywords": [ "cannibal", "seating", "skull", "bone", "grass skirt" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-02", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Asok, Tina's assistant", "synopsis": "The Boss gives Asok the job of helping Tina write the department newsletter.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "challenge", "insult", "newsletter", "assistant" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-03", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Tina designates Asok to be her cub reporter.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "newsletter", "university", "photocopier", "paper jam", "engineering degree", "wasted talent" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-04", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains about the problems caused by the Boss's renaming of the conference rooms.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "conference room", "scheduling", "quality", "teamwork", "excellence", "action", "good planning", "budget" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-05", "subject": "Financial", "synopsis": "Ratbert explains how he handled his personal wealth.", "characters": [ "Ratbert", "man", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "fortune", "incompetent", "personal wealth", "pig", "garbage dump", "invested", "investment" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-06", "subject": "Law", "saga": "The Boss hires a porpoise", "synopsis": "The Boss hires a porpoise because he's heard they're smart.", "note": "Two versions were published. The offensive version showed a porpoise still lodged up the lawyer's ass. The tame version showed a porpoise-sized hole in the middle of the lawyer's back.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss", "Porpoise", "Dilbert", "Wally", "lawyer" ], "keywords": [ "shark", "attack", "snout", "surprised", "dolphin" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss has to reprimand a porpoise for killing a company lawyer.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Porpoise" ], "keywords": [ "management", "reward", "reprimand", "fish", "dolphin" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-08", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "The Boss mistakes the FAX machine for the shredder.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "management", "shredder", "moron", "FAX", "strategy", "water fountain", "men's room" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-09", "subject": "Bureaucracy", "synopsis": "Tina points out to Dilbert having two computers is a violation of the company's rules.", "characters": [ "Tina", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "5S", "workspace", "standardisation", "company rule", "compromise", "solution", "red tag" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-10", "subject": "Bureaucracy", "synopsis": "Alice observes all company rules are designed for the sole purpose of being huge inconveniences.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "access", "server", "password", "letter", "number", "doodle", "sign language", "squirrel" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-11", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert hosts an anger management seminar.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "anger management", "angry nut", "volunteer", "sleep", "infuriated" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-12", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss uses goons to motivate Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "goon" ], "keywords": [ "Elbonian hacker", "beat up", "data security", "motivating", "motivational", "firewall", "tattoo", "tire iron", "lug wrench" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-13", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "Wally assigns blame for his project's failure", "synopsis": "Wally wants to know who's going to be in the meeting so he can blame those who aren't.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "debriefing", "blame", "list" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-14", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally blames his project's failure on the guy who just left the meeting.", "characters": [ "Wally", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "blame" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-15", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally denies blaming the project failure on someone else.", "characters": [ "Wally", "co-worker", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "blame", "failure", "bad vibe", "reputation", "future", "impediment" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-16", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Dilbert does Ted's job too", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to pick up Ted's function.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "overworked", "quality", "impossible", "hate" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-17", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert has done Ted's job in addition to his own for a month.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "overworked", "accomplishment", "reward", "bonus", "fire", "frazzled" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-18", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert wins a bet and doesn't let the other person welsh.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "character", "vacation", "base tan", "sunburn", "myth", "bet", "welsh", "SPF", "push", "ignorant", "contentious" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-19", "subject": "Marketing", "saga": "The Company's time machine", "synopsis": "A marketeer has identified the one person who would buy their high-end product.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice", "marketeer" ], "keywords": [ "target market", "rich", "stupid", "high-end product", "diamond", "time machine", "gizmo", "presentation" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-20", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Dilbert questions the new time machine product.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alice", "marketeer" ], "keywords": [ "time machine", "presentation", "weight loss", "future" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-21", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert suggests a minor modification to the time machine.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Dogbert", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "time traveller" ], "keywords": [ "time machine", "time travel", "presentation", "vanish", "toilet", "plunger", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-22", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert tricks a lawyer into getting into the time machine with his client.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "lawyer", "time traveller" ], "keywords": [ "time machine", "time travel", "attorney", "sue", "consult", "belligerent", "toilet", "plunger", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-23", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Wally grimaces so you know he's working.", "synopsis": "The Boss complains he can't tell if Wally is working.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "program", "compile", "compile", "design", "designing", "module", "grimace" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-24", "subject": "Work Avoidance", "synopsis": "Wally is practising his work grimace.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "face", "grimace", "overwork", "intestinal discomfort", "subplot", "scheme", "sweat" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-25", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "Wally helps the Boss diagnose his cell phone problem.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "cell phone", "signal", "reception", "isolate the problem", "roof", "jump", "garbage", "battery", "lesson" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-26", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss has Carol assign raises based on the gifts he received on National Boss Day.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "gift", "raise", "sculpture-o-gum", "value", "sort" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-27", "subject": "Interview", "saga": "Wally does interviews to test his market value", "synopsis": "Wally does an interview to test his market value.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Dilbert", "interviewer" ], "keywords": [ "market value", "tip", "instinct", "palace", "bathroom", "restroom", "coffeemaker", "wristwatch", "newspaper" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-28", "subject": "Interview", "synopsis": "Wally eats a sandwich during his interview.", "characters": [ "Wally", "interviewer" ], "keywords": [ "sandwich", "crumb", "weakness", "cheese" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-29", "subject": "Interview", "synopsis": "The interviewer tells Wally they don't pay a base salary.", "characters": [ "Wally", "interviewer" ], "keywords": [ "base salary", "work from home", "business card", "private office" ] }, { "date": "2005-09-30", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally gives the Boss a chance to buy his loyalty.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "loyalty", "job offer", "opening offer", "whack", "telephone", "assassinate" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-01", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Catbert finds out the employees don't trust management.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "employee satisfaction survey", "trust", "retrenchment", "purr", "retaliation", "fire" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-02", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Ted gets fired for saying negative things about the company in his personal blog.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "blog", "fire", "freedom of speech", "constitutional right", "founding fathers", "lawyer", "supreme court", "paycheck", "retaliation" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-03", "subject": "Secretary", "saga": "Carol harpoons the Boss", "synopsis": "Dilbert can't get Carol to give him an appointment with the Boss.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "calendar", "refuse", "appointment", "cancel", "combing", "knuckle" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-04", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "Carol cancelled all of the Boss's meetings because they create work for her.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "cancelled", "harpoon", "insubordinate", "lazy" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-05", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "The Boss, with a harpoon stuck in his posterior, goes to the doctor.", "characters": [ "Boss", "doctor" ], "keywords": [ "harpoon", "doctor's office", "stethoscope", "examination table", "doughnut", "secretary", "annual review" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-06", "subject": "Customer Service", "saga": "Dogbert, the FAQ writer", "synopsis": "The Boss hires Dogbert to write the FAQ for their web site.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "FAQ", "web site", "question", "CEO", "window" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-07", "subject": "Customer Service", "synopsis": "Dogbert writes a FAQ for the company web site.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "FAQ", "web site", "question", "toast", "stupid", "children" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-08", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert gives an encoded negative reference for ex-employee Ted.", "characters": [ "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "reference", "telephone", "company policy", "weather", "cloud", "lazy", "stupid" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-09", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss explains the company values.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "bias", "action", "passion", "result", "value", "presentation", "question" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-10", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Tina writes the annual report", "synopsis": "The Boss wants Tina to write the company's annual report with a positive spin.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "annual report", "poor result", "positive spin", "plummeting", "afford" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-11", "subject": "Creativity", "synopsis": "Tina writes the company's annual report with a positive spin.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "annual report", "footnote", "crushing debt", "moronic management", "ageing product line", "font", "Enron", "Beelzebub" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-12", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to fire Carol, but he needs the right paperwork first.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "fire", "involuntary termination form", "904-B" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-13", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Carol calculates how rich Dilbert would have to be before she'd date him.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "calculate", "rich", "wealth", "four trillion dollars", "happily married", "insult" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-14", "subject": "Product", "saga": "The Elbonian Frisbee(TM)", "synopsis": "Dilbert thinks the Elbonians are pirating their software.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Elbonian", "pig" ], "keywords": [ "total sales", "software piracy", "Frisbee", "mouth", "accusation" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-15", "subject": "Product", "synopsis": "An Elbonian tries to return a CD-ROM thinking it's a Frisbee that doesn't fly right.", "characters": [ "Elbonian", "pig", "clerk" ], "keywords": [ "Frisbee", "merchandise return", "software CD", "idiot", "user's manual", "CD-ROM" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-16", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to buy a chair.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "sales person" ], "keywords": [ "chair", "in stock", "hope", "eternity" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-17", "subject": "Law", "saga": "The shareholders sue the Company", "synopsis": "The shareholders are suing for being mislead about the company's financial problems.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "lawyer" ], "keywords": [ "shareholder", "sue", "misleading", "financial problem", "illegal", "innocent people", "minutes", "suspender" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-18", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "The company lawyer hints the Boss should delete the e-mails they're supposed to turn over to the court.", "characters": [ "Boss", "lawyer" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail record", "deleted", "regularly scheduled system maintenance", "wink", "flirt", "suspenders", "hinting" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-19", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "The Boss orders Dilbert to delete all of their incriminating e-mails.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "delete", "incriminating", "kill", "murder", "cover-up", "phase two" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-20", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Dogbert he's afraid of the Boss.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "malfeasance", "afraid", "alone", "abandoned warehouse", "beneficiary", "life insurance policy", "insult", "goon", "kill", "murder" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-21", "subject": "Work Avoidance", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Bob to be his bodyguard.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Bob" ], "keywords": [ "kill", "murder", "bodyguard", "carrot stick", "eating", "nap time" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-22", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss explains the trouble with hiring a hit man.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "kill", "murder", "hit man", "cover your tracks", "endless cycle" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-23", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert explains the company's new guidelines on who can fly on the same plane.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss", "Asok", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "guideline", "airplane", "fly", "risk", "employee", "CEO", "president", "flight", "vice president", "intern", "infinite", "run with scissors", "plastic bag" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-24", "subject": "Dating", "saga": "Unpaid overtime and death", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains the similarity of unpaid overtime and death to his date.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "similar", "unpaid overtime", "death", "pleasure", "alive", "good night kiss", "rejection" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-25", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "Dilbert meets the Spectre of Unpaid Overtime.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Spectre" ], "keywords": [ "unpaid overtime", "death", "life", "shadowy region", "existence", "meaning", "sticky note", "rake", "grim reaper" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-26", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "The Spectre of Unpaid Overtime hopes to someday get into the grim reaping field.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Spectre" ], "keywords": [ "unpaid overtime", "death", "rake", "grim reaper", "die", "blunt", "weapon" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces company management has a plan to make the pension fund solvent.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "plan", "pension fund", "solvent", "workplace safety", "smoking", "cool", "health", "dangerous" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-28", "subject": "Family", "synopsis": "Dogbert realises he only enjoys Dilbert's stories when they involve Dilbert getting hit by a rake.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "bandage", "spectre", "unpaid overtime", "rake", "grim reaper", "injury", "enjoy", "story", "gardener", "insult", "wife" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-29", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally explains happiness is related to your wealth relative to other people.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "happiness", "wealth", "absolute", "relative", "good job", "pay cut" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-30", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "Dilbert introduces Asok to Tex. Tex then proceeds to insult Asok about his national origin and size.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Asok", "Tex" ], "keywords": [ "Texan", "ten gallon hat", "cowboy hat", "intern", "name", "taxi driver", "large", "small", "fibre", "school", "angry", "gnaw", "ankle", "explode", "explosion", "skull", "skeleton" ] }, { "date": "2005-10-31", "subject": "Strategy", "saga": "Flashy, controller of the thermostat", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss about the company strategy.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "project", "strategy", "question", "answer", "how are you?" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-01", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces the new team member Flashy.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Flashy", "Alice", "Asok", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "hot flash", "thermostat", "menopause" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-02", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "Wally tries to negotiate the thermostat setting with Flashy.", "characters": [ "Flashy", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "hot flash", "thermostat", "menopause", "boiling", "parka", "hand warmer", "underwear", "radiant heat", "body heat", "redirect", "question", "tube", "duct" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-03", "subject": "Character", "saga": "Petricia, the Boss's pet", "synopsis": "The Boss interviews a boss's pet.", "note": "A preliminary version showed the Boss asking Petricial to \"now do the leg thing\". That was deemed to be harrassment, so was replaced by the Boss saying \"nice wrinkling of the forehead\".", "characters": [ "Boss", "Petricia" ], "keywords": [ "boss's pet", "pet employee", "experience", "sycophant", "bully", "forehead wrinkle", "tongue" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-04", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "The Boss assigns his pet employee to evaluating cutting-edge technologies in Hawaii.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Petricia", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "boss's pet", "pet employee", "sycophant", "tongue", "cutting-edge technology", "Hawaii", "wax", "hairy back", "good project" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-05", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "The Boss's pet threatens Dilbert when the Boss isn't around.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Petricia", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "boss's pet", "pet employee", "sycophant", "tongue", "nice", "unkind", "nerdling", "do my bidding", "eat you alive", "head size", "bite", "snake", "threaten" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "An employee's behaviour radically changes and management has to decide whether he's crazy or a new manager.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "co-worker", "Wally", "executive recruiter" ], "keywords": [ "changing", "change", "quirky co-worker", "waste of resources", "emergency", "executive recruiter", "status", "leadership", "crazy", "wallet", "one of ours" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-07", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert opens a dance club so exclusive nobody is allowed in.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "man", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "dance club", "exclusive", "screen", "customer", "dance move", "air guitar", "embarrass", "shame" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-08", "subject": "Personnel", "saga": "The Boss's assistant", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Catbert to hire others to do the different parts of his job.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "unpleasant part", "hire", "concentrate", "strategy", "fair", "lazy" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-09", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Alice complains about the Boss hiring someone to do his job.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "underling" ], "keywords": [ "hire", "think", "groundbreaking strategy", "job title", "my underling's underling", "overwork" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-10", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "Carol renews her vow to lure the Boss into a deadly accident.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "underling", "office", "learn", "listen", "little people", "renew", "vow", "lure", "deadly accident" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-11", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert discovers a way to double is management consulting fees.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "double", "consulting fee", "outsourcing", "India", "blackmail" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-12", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert get revenge on the CEO who didn't renew his consulting contract.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "CEO", "board member" ], "keywords": [ "outsourcing", "Elbonian CEO", "consulting contract", "revenge" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-13", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert's useless co-worker wants to take partial credit on Dilbert's patent.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "patent application", "help", "refuse", "e-mail", "brain", "dilweed", "backplane", "gizmo", "dilbag" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss accuses Alice of being a thief for looking at a weather web site.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "work of four people", "web monitoring software", "weather web site", "thief", "accusation" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-15", "subject": "Work Avoidance", "synopsis": "Wally decides to grow out his eyebrows and comb them over his eyes so no one can tell he's asleep.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Wally", "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "hell", "eyebrow", "comb", "asleep", "quiet" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-16", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Dilbert says they need more programmers. The Boss suggests using agile programming methods.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "programmer", "request", "agile programming", "more work", "fewer people", "ask again" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-17", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert's magazine: \"Gullible World\"", "synopsis": "Dogbert starts a new magazine called \"Gullible World\".", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Gullible World", "magazine", "cover story", "lose weight", "shed pounds", "yell", "eat", "gain weight", "better parent", "parenting" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-18", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert sells the Boss advertising space in his new magazine \"Gullible World\".", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Gullible World", "magazine", "advertising", "billion", "reader", "impressed", "lie" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-19", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to do a story about how engineering makes you sexier in his new magazine \"Gullible World\".", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Gullible World", "magazine", "camera", "picture", "feature story", "sexy", "sexier", "before and after", "pose", "shirtless", "topless" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-20", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "Dilbert's Mom tries to return one too many items.", "characters": [ "Dilbert's Mom", "Sales Clerk" ], "keywords": [ "clothes", "clothing", "department store", "return", "scarf", "not scarfy enough", "customer database", "bad customer", "list", "company policy", "harvest", "organ", "eBay", "bandages" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-21", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Dealing with difficult co-workers", "synopsis": "The Boss hires a difficult co-worker.", "characters": [ "Boss", "difficult co-worker", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "abusive", "lying", "liar", "back-stabber", "control freak", "new hire", "class", "difficult co-worker", "heard bad things", "education" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-22", "subject": "Personality", "synopsis": "Dogbert presents a seminar on dealing with difficult co-workers.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "seminar", "presentation", "class", "difficult co-worker", "education", "group", "lazy", "mean", "smart", "crazy", "quit", "syndicated cartoonist" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-23", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss eats Ted's sandwich everyday.", "characters": [ "Carol", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "Ted sandwich", "eat", "lunch", "free", "break room", "fridge", "ham", "looking good", "lost weight", "diet" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-24", "subject": "Interview", "synopsis": "The Boss interviews a job applicant who was fired from his last job for stealing computers.", "characters": [ "Boss", "applicant" ], "keywords": [ "leave", "fired", "accused", "accusation", "stealing", "thief", "computer", "confess", "confession", "fifth amendment", "bill of rights" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-25", "subject": "Character", "saga": "The cubicle cockroach", "synopsis": "Alice tries killing a cubicle cockroach.", "characters": [ "Cubicle Cockroach", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "annoying", "cubicle cockroach", "kill", "behead", "persistent", "flame thrower", "won't die" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-26", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "The Boss kills the cubicle cockroach.", "characters": [ "Cubicle Cockroach", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "annoying", "cubicle cockroach", "kill", "persistent", "won't die", "destroyed", "hired", "eternal", "moving", "special project" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss announces their new business strategy.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "business strategy", "list", "past strategy", "not afraid of change", "working hard", "huge bonus", "generous", "good looking", "credit", "answer", "rhetorical question" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-28", "subject": "Ethics", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Garbageman about the ethics of cloning humans.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Garbageman" ], "keywords": [ "unethical", "clone", "human", "morality", "moral", "accepted norm", "self causing", "irony", "ironically", "trashcan" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-29", "subject": "Management", "saga": "Two CEOs", "synopsis": "The Boss announces after the merger they will have two CEOs.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "merger", "CEO", "share", "sharing", "top job", "spokesperson", "stockholder", "average employee", "450 times", "salary", "twice", "don't mind", "shouldn't mind" ] }, { "date": "2005-11-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "One of the new CEOs announces after the merger they will have two CEOs.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "merger", "CEO", "share", "sharing", "get along great", "old married couple", "wife" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-01", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks his date what it's like to be in a bad mood all of the time.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "bad mood", "all of the time", "showing interest", "isn't working", "angry", "mad" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-02", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "Hammerhead Bob is learning ESP so he can butt into people's private thoughts.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice", "Hammerhead Bob" ], "keywords": [ "ESP", "private thought", "annoyance", "no cause", "mind reading" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-03", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "Hammerhead Bob butts into Alice and Tina's conversation.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Tina", "Hammerhead Bob" ], "keywords": [ "conversation", "expert", "topic", "thick head", "not welcome", "irritable", "cramp bark", "dandelion root", "PMS" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-04", "subject": "Security", "synopsis": "The Boss interviews a career criminal.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Earl", "Lefty" ], "keywords": [ "resume", "career criminal", "tendonitis", "tendinitis", "piston-whipping arm", "white collar crime", "embezzle", "security", "big money", "locking", "desk" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-05", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Wally joins another project's meeting.", "characters": [ "Wally", "project leader" ], "keywords": [ "seduced", "smell", "freshly brewed coffee", "tempting pastry", "cross-charging", "time", "project", "doughnut" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-06", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert deals with a disgruntled employee.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Ed" ], "keywords": [ "disgruntled", "employee rationaliser", "bad management", "commute", "gadget", "brainwashing" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-07", "subject": "Character", "saga": "The sourpuss", "synopsis": "The Boss hires a sourpuss, since every office has one.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Sourpuss" ], "keywords": [ "cat", "bad idea", "leadership", "optimism", "hired", "new employee" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-08", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "Sourpuss coughs up a hairball on Dilbert's plan.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice", "Sourpuss", "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "cat", "issue", "plan", "outline", "hairball", "cough", "coughing", "commentary" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-09", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "Sourpuss describes what to do when life gives you lemons.", "note": "As a fore-runner of the website's mashup section, Scott published a version of the strip a few days early. The early version had the dialog removed from the second and third panels and Scott asked readers to fill in their own jokes.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Sourpuss" ], "keywords": [ "cat", "lemon", "choke", "die", "lemon eater" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-10", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "Sourpuss offers some discouragement to Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Sourpuss" ], "keywords": [ "cat", "waste of time", "beat your head against the wall", "drum", "glass is half full", "of what", "negativity" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss rationalises his failure to give the CEO accurate information.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "CEO", "design", "ecstatic", "too late", "press release", "massive design flaw", "destroy", "billion dollar line of business", "stock option", "underwater", "Chinese", "manufacture", "manufacturer", "ultimately", "fault", "incentive" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-12", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "Topper tops Alice by hopping 40 miles to work on a broken leg.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice", "Topper" ], "keywords": [ "ran", "run", "jog", "six miles", "sore", "broken leg", "hopped", "forty miles", "one good leg" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-13", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert starts \"Dogbert's Selfish Cell Phone Company\".", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert", "Dilbert's Mom" ], "keywords": [ "selfish", "cell phone", "company", "cell phone company", "phone number", "call", "bother", "busy", "bothering", "retaliation" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-14", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Asok corrects the Boss in front of a VP.", "characters": [ "VP of Engineering", "Boss", "Asok", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "idea", "saving money", "database", "impossible", "own time", "carry on", "jump in", "error" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-15", "subject": "Business", "saga": "Vijay, the world's most desperate venture capitalist", "synopsis": "A venture capitalist wants Dilbert to come up with an idea worth funding.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Vijay" ], "keywords": [ "VC", "venture capitalist", "desperate", "competitive", "competition", "stalk", "idea", "funding", "pressure", "crooked teeth", "brace" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-16", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "A venture capitalist harasses Dilbert, Alice and Wally at lunch.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally", "Vijay" ], "keywords": [ "VC", "venture capitalist", "desperate", "napkin", "lunch", "business plan", "thinking", "thought", "money", "cash" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-17", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "A venture capitalist tries to invest in the first idea of an unconceived child of two school children.", "characters": [ "Vijay", "Schoolboy", "Schoolgirl" ], "keywords": [ "VC", "venture capitalist", "desperate", "moneybag", "math grade", "school", "backpack", "grow up", "marry", "little engineer baby", "invest", "first idea", "too late", "mezzanine funding", "money", "cash" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-18", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "A guy wants to buy insurance from Dogbert.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "insurance", "special", "indemnity", "casualty", "whole life", "rider", "binder", "cover", "covered", "list of exclusions", "acts of God", "act of God", "pray", "lightning" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-19", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert hires a giant dung beetle to perform the downsizing.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice", "Asok", "dung beetle" ], "keywords": [ "downsizing", "downsize", "humane", "giant dung beetle", "roll", "poor performer", "ball", "marketing", "sliding off" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-20", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "The Boss interviews a guy who's some kind of intermediate species.", "characters": [ "Boss", "freak" ], "keywords": [ "resume", "intermediate species", "hominid", "oyster", "light-sensitive blob", "eye", "eyeball", "one eye", "pearl", "tail", "cyclops" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-21", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss confronts Wally about his apparent lack of working.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "time charge", "charging", "project", "work", "wind", "doubt", "fart", "breaking wind", "existence" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-22", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "Dilbert describes their new product as a cable that doesn't attach to anything.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "CEO", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "new product", "cable", "attach", "demand", "commercial", "dance", "hell", "budget cut", "presentation", "buzz", "marketing", "advertising" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-23", "subject": "Strategy", "synopsis": "Dilbert has delusions of effectiveness.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "PowerPoint", "strategy", "industry", "follow", "copy", "change", "world", "delusion", "effectiveness", "presentation" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-24", "subject": "Presentation", "synopsis": "Dilbert enters the PowerPoint zone.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "PowerPoint", "zone", "real world", "bullet", "productivity", "imaginary", "slide" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-25", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to attend a useless meeting. Dilbert resists.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "project acorn", "cancelled", "question", "insist" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-26", "subject": "Budget", "synopsis": "Wally helps the Boss use up his budget before the end of the year.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "year end", "fiscal year", "flexible", "approving", "approval", "expense", "wink", "wink", "hinting", "coffee", "panda", "endangered species", "pregnant", "expensive" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-27", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dogbert offers tech support by suggesting the caller reboot himself.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "caller" ], "keywords": [ "reboot", "reboot", "clone", "adoption", "intelligence", "influenced", "influence", "environment", "version 1.0", "bug", "insult", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-28", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice to show the new guy how to do a project status report.", "characters": [ "Boss", "new guy", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "new guy", "project status report", "project report", "status report", "random phrase generator", "listen", "talking", "deaf" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-29", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss awards Tina the employee of the month award.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Tina" ], "keywords": [ "employee of the month", "various work", "award", "meaning", "job", "listened", "welcome" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-30", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally prints Ted's resume whenever the Boss walks by the shared printer.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "resume", "shared printer", "people pleaser", "disloyal" ] }, { "date": "2005-12-31", "subject": "Bureaucracy", "synopsis": "Dilbert suggests joining the industry consortium promoting web services standards.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "industry consortium", "web service", "standard", "approval", "review board", "sign-off", "executive", "exist", "perfect world", "red tape" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-01", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss schedules an employee appreciation day on a Sunday.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "employee appreciation day", "Sunday", "potluck", "lunch", "volunteer", "organise", "woman", "sexist", "jacket", "coat", "park", "outdoors", "cold", "personal", "weekend", "picture", "pine cone", "appetiser" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-02", "subject": "Character", "saga": "Scott Adams violates the third wall", "synopsis": "Scott Adams succumbs to peer pressure and draws an unfunny comic.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Scott Adams" ], "keywords": [ "author", "gazillion", "suggestion", "comic", "idea", "not funny", "unfunny", "peer pressure", "connect", "network", "trouble report", "e-mail", "happy" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-03", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "Scott Adams is trapped in his own comic strip. Dogbert gives advice on how to get out.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Scott Adams" ], "keywords": [ "still here", "trapped", "violated", "violation", "third wall", "can't get out", "Toto", "follow the yellow sticky-note road", "Wizard of Oz" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-04", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "Dogbert leads Scott Adams along the yellow sticky-note road to see the Wonderful Wizard of Landfill.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Scott Adams", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "Wizard of Oz", "yellow sticky-note road", "home", "wonderful wizard of landfill", "coffee", "caffeine" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-05", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "Wally warns Scott Adams the Wicked Witch will send her winged cat after them.", "characters": [ "Scott Adams", "Wally", "Dogbert", "Alice", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "Wizard of Oz", "coffee", "wizard", "ambition", "wicked witch", "winged cat", "headcount", "wing", "vest" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-06", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "Scott and Wally, on their trek to see the Wizard of Landfill, meet the Boss and Asok.", "characters": [ "Scott Adams", "Wally", "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "Wizard of Oz", "wizard", "ambition", "home", "experience", "brain", "heart", "soul", "strategic vision", "fired", "job" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-07", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "Scott, Dogbert, Wally, and Asok meet the Wizard of Landfill.", "characters": [ "Scott Adams", "Wally", "Dogbert", "Asok", "Garbageman" ], "keywords": [ "Wizard of Oz", "wizard", "ambition", "home", "experience", "good idea", "gem", "idiot", "manage", "management", "home office", "creepy", "trashcan" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-08", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "Asok complains about his allergies and gets another guy started about his extreme medical problems.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Asok", "Dilbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "allergy", "health", "topic", "bone", "cast", "sling", "plaster", "doctor", "detached colon", "small intestines", "burrow", "spleen", "bunion", "medical", "complaint" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-09", "subject": "Customer Service", "synopsis": "The Boss hires an incomprehensible person for the phone centre.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert", "interviewee" ], "keywords": [ "resume", "phone centre", "employee", "hire", "tongue", "gibberish", "stressful", "hate", "customer" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-10", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert's retirement planning seminar", "synopsis": "Dogbert gives a retirement planning seminar.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Asok", "Alice", "Carol", "Wally", "Dilbert", "retiree" ], "keywords": [ "retirement planning", "seminar", "don't tell anyone", "collecting money", "lottery pool", "food", "dollar", "retiree", "moneybag" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-11", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert continues his retirement planning seminar with \"how to spend your golden years on the golf course.\".", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "retirement planning", "seminar", "golden years", "golf course", "caddy", "caddying", "rent", "breathing tube", "sand trap", "golf club" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-12", "subject": "Training", "saga": "The former free-ranger", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Wally watch a new employee get broken.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally", "Carol", "Boss", "photographer" ], "keywords": [ "new guy", "free-ranger", "free-range", "brake", "broken", "entertainment", "photographer", "cubicle", "cubicled", "tough", "lasso", "necktie", "employee manual", "kicking", "bucking", "flailing", "fighting" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-13", "subject": "Bureaucracy", "synopsis": "Carol tells the new employee to fill out his time report in 15-minute increments.", "characters": [ "Carol", "photographer" ], "keywords": [ "new guy", "photographer", "wild", "unsupervised", "freedom", "time report", "time card", "15-minute increment", "self-strangulation", "attempted", "attempt", "succeed", "choking", "necktie" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-14", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The new guy isn't interested in mating.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert", "woman", "photographer" ], "keywords": [ "new guy", "photographer", "apathy", "captivity", "dying", "panda", "mate", "no interest", "sex", "proposition" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-15", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Dilbert has to ask the recently fired employee for some training.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Tom" ], "keywords": [ "two weeks notice", "replace", "disgruntled", "professional", "train", "shocked", "appalled", "fired", "fake sympathy", "training", "binder", "card", "revenge", "angry" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-16", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "Carol gives the Boss a bumper sticker that says he gives money to police charities.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "bumper sticker", "donate", "donation", "police charity", "traffic law", "impunity", "reckless driving", "sidewalk", "fire hydrant" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-17", "subject": "Leadership", "saga": "Integrating a former competitor's product line", "synopsis": "Dilbert congratulates the CEO on buying a company whose products are worthless pieces of garbage.", "characters": [ "Boss", "CEO", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "competitor", "integrate", "product line", "worthless", "garbage", "sold", "congratulations", "angry", "livid", "hair", "eye" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-18", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss assigns Dilbert the job of integrating a competitor's product line into their product line.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "integrate", "product", "merger", "acquired", "throw away", "cheap", "knock-off", "competitor", "moron", "CEO", "CEO", "sleeveless sweater" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-19", "subject": "Ethics", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Dogbert for ethical advice concerning the company's merger.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "integrate", "product", "merger", "validate", "validation", "ethical", "stall", "forget", "ethicist", "rock", "speed up" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-20", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dogbert Tech Support first requires the tech support product identification code from the original packaging.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "product identification code", "product ID code", "code", "landfill", "digging", "dig", "original packaging", "seagull", "peck" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-21", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Dogbert takes a long walk with Dilbert while he has a tech support call waiting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "tech support caller" ], "keywords": [ "walk", "outdoors", "refreshing", "call", "holding", "database", "problem" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-22", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "The Boss is punished by the Analogy Police for making a bad analogy.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Analogy Policeman", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "product", "designing", "requirement", "feature", "play", "beach", "grain", "sand", "analogy", "police", "jail", "bad analogy", "beautiful woman", "punished", "punishment", "necktie", "Hitler", "ice rink" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-23", "subject": "Professional", "synopsis": "During weekends, Wally forgets how to do his job.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "Monday", "forgot", "forget", "job", "moron", "weekend", "remember" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-24", "subject": "Work Avoidance", "synopsis": "When the Boss reminds Wally he's in charge of the RDP project, Wally remembers it's almost done.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "status", "report", "project", "in charge", "almost done", "manager", "vague", "feeling", "uneasiness" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-25", "subject": "Character", "saga": "Still a baby in this time zone", "synopsis": "A baby shows up to a meeting claiming it's due to the jet lag.", "note": "Two versions were published. The newspaper version had the baby saying \"Hey, I have an idea\". The web version changed it to \"Less talking, more burping\".", "characters": [ "baby", "woman", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "jet lag", "baby", "time zone", "burping", "burp", "crazy idea", "nursing", "nurse", "breasts" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-26", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "The Boss succumbs to a baby's power of cuteness.", "characters": [ "security guard", "baby", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "ID badge", "diaper", "spy", "don't look", "power", "cuteness", "strong", "baby", "hypnotise", "trance" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-27", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "Catbert challenges the baby's powers of cuteness.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "baby" ], "keywords": [ "power", "cuteness", "formidable", "win", "challenge", "hypnotise", "trance" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-28", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "Catbert reassigns the baby to sales.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "baby", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "cuteness", "cute", "engineering", "sales", "baby", "hurt", "advantage", "deluxe package", "emotionally scarred" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-29", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "Alice tries to get a customer to give her requirements.", "characters": [ "Alice", "man" ], "keywords": [ "requirement", "design", "software", "accomplish", "frustration", "customer" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-30", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss finds out Dilbert plans for management foul-ups.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "MFU1", "MFU2", "MFU", "management foul-up", "management fuck-up", "timeline", "mistake" ] }, { "date": "2006-01-31", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Catbert confronts Alice about making dismissive facial expressions.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "accused", "accusation", "dismissive facial expression", "muttered", "muttering", "meeting", "sarcasm" ] }, { "date": "2006-02-01", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Dilbert to fix his home computer after work.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "after work", "fix", "computer", "cleaning", "grout", "tile", "shower", "bathroom", "crazy talk", "majored", "comparative literature", "liberal arts" ] }, { "date": "2006-02-02", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Dilbert to install his wireless network on the weekend.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "weekend", "install", "wireless network", "competent", "obliged", "incompetent", "awkward", "stare" ] }, { "date": "2006-02-03", "subject": "Sales", "saga": "The sales call", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to accompany a salesman on a sales call.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Alan" ], "keywords": [ "sales call", "explain", "product", "current system", "crack joke", "joke", "commission", "unfair", "good joke", "what can I do you for?" ] }, { "date": "2006-02-04", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Dilbert describes their technology while the salesman makes out with one of the customers.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alan", "woman", "man" ], "keywords": [ "sales call", "egghead", "make out", "web service", "XML", "soap", "wsdl", "interoperable", "http", "module", "wrong job", "kiss" ] }, { "date": "2006-02-05", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "A hot, intelligent, sane woman tries to find a date in the engineering department.", "characters": [ "woman", "Wally", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "lunch", "horrible defect", "apparent", "hot", "intelligent", "sane", "attracted", "coffee", "Battlestar Galactica", "perfect monster", "engineering department", "date" ] }, { "date": "2006-02-06", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss suspects he can't read people.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "monitor", "passersby", "working", "sleeping", "read", "kidding", "litter box", "bathroom", "toilet" ] }, { "date": "2006-02-07", "subject": "Safety", "synopsis": "The Boss assigns Asok to be the new fire warden for the floor.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "fire warden", "floor", "roll around", "timing", "intern" ] }, { "date": "2006-02-08", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The Boss complains to Catbert he doesn't have enough time to learn about the projects he's managing.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "busy", "learn", "project", "managing", "time", "critical decision", "lazy", "stupid", "pond", "throw", "rock", "duck" ] }, { "date": "2006-02-09", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert's school for zombies and\/or certified project managers", "synopsis": "Dogbert commences his school for zombies and\/or certified project managers.", "characters": [ "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "school", "zombie", "zombie", "certified", "project manager", "training", "sun", "calendar", "on-site", "cutover", "support", "review", "meeting" ] }, { "date": "2006-02-10", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally irritates the certified project management zombie.", "characters": [ "Wally", "zombie", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "zombie", "certified", "project manager", "project management", "meeting", "review", "assumption", "risk", "constraint", "management style", "joie de vivre", "joy of life" ] }, { "date": "2006-02-11", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Alice slays the certified project management zombie.", "characters": [ "zombie", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "zombie", "certified", "project manager", "project management", "assertive", "innovative", "professional", "experienced", "operations management", "methodology", "process", "development", "dangerous", "meeting", "review", "sword", "kill", "murder" ] }, { "date": "2006-02-12", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice gets a co-worker fired so she can use his cubicle to store her extra binders.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice", "CEO", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "appreciate", "pushback", "push back", "yes men", "stand your ground", "respect", "business unit", "plan", "fired", "cruelty", "convenience", "cubicle", "binder" ] }, { "date": "2006-02-13", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss decides there's no good way to assign a bad project, so he literally hits the employee with it.", "characters": [ "Boss", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "assign", "assignment", "bad project", "throw", "hit", "liberating" ] }, { "date": "2006-02-14", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The Boss tries to sell Dilbert on his new assignment.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "lipstick", "pig", "exciting", "technical", "challenge", "dawn", "microprocessor", "rub", "body", "assign", "tongs" ] }, { "date": "2006-02-15", "subject": "Office Politics", "saga": "The land of unrealistic business assumptions", "synopsis": "Dilbert changes the results of his feasibility study when he finds out the CEO loves the idea.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "feasibility analysis", "worst idea", "numbers don't lie", "CEO", "assumption", "lie" ] }, { "date": "2006-02-16", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Dogbert for help making unrealistic assumptions to support a bad idea.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "unrealistic", "assumption", "support", "business case", "bad idea", "hole", "wardrobe", "magical world", "preposterous", "closet" ] }, { "date": "2006-02-17", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert visit the Land of Unrealistic Business Assumptions.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "consumer" ], "keywords": [ "unrealistic", "business", "assumption", "assumption", "gold", "mushroom", "toadstool", "consumer", "bad judgement", "hole", "thousand miles deep", "come early" ] }, { "date": "2006-02-18", "subject": "Business", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert encounter their only competitor in the Land of Unrealistic Business Assumptions.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "hillbilly" ], "keywords": [ "unrealistic", "business", "assumption", "assumption", "future sales", "smiley face", "log", "tree trunk", "bridge", "chasm", "jug", "moonshine", "hillbilly", "inebriated", "drunk", "kick", "competitor", "fall", "plummet", "boot" ] }, { "date": "2006-02-19", "subject": "Politics", "synopsis": "Dilbert considers buying a more fuel efficient car. Dogbert ridicules him for doing so.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "fuel efficient", "car", "automobile", "patriotic duty", "dependence", "foreign", "oil", "petroleum", "hate", "money", "fund", "terrorist", "developing country", "fungible", "commodity", "capitalist", "lowest cost", "statement" ] }, { "date": "2006-02-20", "subject": "Telecommuting", "synopsis": "Wally describes his week of \"telecommuting\" and makes a joke about the TV in his pyjamas.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "telecommuting", "TV", "pyjamas", "joke", "pun" ] }, { "date": "2006-02-21", "subject": "Vacation", "synopsis": "Wally charges his vacation as a sick day because he ate too many potato chips.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "stomachache", "sick day", "biological limit", "potato chips" ] }, { "date": "2006-02-22", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Wally tells the Boss the Internet is full, that's why his e-mail isn't working.", "note": "This strip was adapted for a 404 error, and used as part of the 404 page at dilbert.com.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "e-mail", "Internet", "full", "draining", "drain", "network", "Ethernet", "cable", "trashcan" ] }, { "date": "2006-02-23", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss forgets what he majored in.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "funny", "studied", "engineering", "majored", "don't remember", "forgot", "write down" ] }, { "date": "2006-02-24", "subject": "Overwork", "saga": "Dogbert's seminar on work-life balance", "synopsis": "Dogbert commences his seminar on work-life balance.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Asok", "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "seminar", "work", "life", "work-life", "balance", "priority", "family", "job", "exercise", "vacation", "must-do", "medical", "eating", "hygiene", "sleep", "romance", "holiday", "time", "pick", "limitation" ] }, { "date": "2006-02-25", "subject": "Overwork", "synopsis": "Dogbert continues his seminar on work-life balance with an example.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "old man", "Allen", "young women" ], "keywords": [ "seminar", "work", "life", "work-life", "balance", "personal life", "CEO", "mistaken identity" ] }, { "date": "2006-02-26", "subject": "Project", "synopsis": "The Boss berates Dilbert for his project being four months behind. Dilbert is stuck with an unresponsive user.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "user" ], "keywords": [ "project", "behind schedule", "requirement", "nut job", "manage", "process", "complained", "misinterpreted", "problem", "ordered", "wrong stuff", "family", "serious illness", "jury duty", "copied", "similar" ] }, { "date": "2006-02-27", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Wally uses a fake arm to fool the Boss into thinking he's on a conference call.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "fake arm", "mail room", "shoulder", "telephone", "conference call", "sleeping" ] }, { "date": "2006-02-28", "subject": "Ethics", "saga": "Asok earns the Boss a master's degree", "synopsis": "The Boss has Asok take distance learning classes for him so the Boss will get a Master's degree.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "enrolled", "distance learning", "class", "course", "master's degree", "online degree", "midterm", "cheating" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-01", "subject": "Ethics", "synopsis": "The Boss criticises Asok for not doing better when cheating for him.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "online", "class", "course", "ethics", "believe", "perfect score", "tired", "push-up", "gym", "cheating" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-02", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss misunderstands when asked to design and build the Company's Centre of Excellence.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "design", "build", "centre of excellence", "presidential library", "honour", "life's work", "time", "learn", "asking", "question" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-03", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "It's announced the vice president of marketing is leaving the company.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "leaving", "vice president", "accomplishment", "margin", "sales", "lower", "confusing", "marketing campaign", "piano" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-04", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss makes a decision reminiscent of \"King Salmon\".", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "right", "wrong", "king", "salmon", "Solomon", "split", "difference", "wise", "wisdom", "fish", "math" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-05", "subject": "Psychology", "synopsis": "Alice cleans up the Boss's laptop so it will run faster. She's outraged when she discovers he has disabled the firewall.", "note": "Scott originally had the word \"porn\" in the strip. An editor suggested changing it to \"smut\". Scott published both versions of the panel on his website.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "laptop", "slowing down", "smut", "porn", "pornography", "hard drive", "computer", "delete", "deleting", "film", "clip", "lighting", "server", "firewall", "outrage", "stapler" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-06", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "The Boss wants Dilbert to ask the legal department to change their minds about the legality of his plan.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "legal", "change", "mind", "panning for gold", "water fountain", "spirit" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-07", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Dilbert holds a purposeless meeting and recommends just sitting silently until the time is up.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "purpose", "meeting", "purposeless", "silently", "quietly", "time", "better", "useless" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-08", "subject": "Accounting", "synopsis": "An accounting troll eats the guy who suggests building a second prototype.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker", "troll", "Alice", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "build", "second", "prototype", "budget", "eat", "devour", "fault", "caring" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-09", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "Wally proves the Boss wrong about the budget not being written in stone.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "budget", "approved", "approval", "schedule", "written in stone", "stone", "tablet", "lucky" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-10", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Wally wants to get in on Asok's arranged marriage (if she has a hot sister).", "characters": [ "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "relative", "arranged marriage", "totally hot", "low standard", "sister", "love", "coffeemaker" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-11", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "The Boss has a meeting about Dilbert's project, but doesn't invite Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "project wombat", "project manager", "invite", "invitation", "meeting", "smooth", "smoother", "knowledge", "expertise" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-12", "subject": "Presentation", "synopsis": "Dogbert holds a catch-and-release seminar for CEOs.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "CEO" ], "keywords": [ "catch-and-release", "seminar", "fish", "entertainment", "philosophy", "company", "spin off", "spouse", "marriage", "divorce", "golf", "decisive", "decision" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-13", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally explains to Asok the detailed meaning of Alice's look.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Asok", "Wally", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "look", "the look", "kill", "opinion", "thousand expressions", "die", "natural causes", "soon", "Buddha", "wood chipper" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-14", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert uses pepper spray as an external antidepressant.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "invented", "invention", "external", "antidepressant", "bad mood", "apply", "other people", "pepper spray", "mace", "eye" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-15", "subject": "Nature", "saga": "The unluckiest plant in the world", "synopsis": "Wally gives a plant coffee dregs after the plant maintenance contract was cancelled.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss", "Wally", "Asok", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "meeting", "cancelled", "plant", "maintenance", "contract", "save money", "adopt", "water", "coffee", "dreg", "abuse" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-16", "subject": "Nature", "synopsis": "The plant Wally has been feeding coffee dregs grows enormous.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "feeding", "plant", "mulch", "coffee", "dreg", "shredded", "status report", "decaf", "growth" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-17", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert opts for him and his date to be seated in the \"loud guy\" section.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman", "hostess", "loud guy" ], "keywords": [ "restaurant", "seated", "seating", "loud guy", "section", "good story" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-18", "subject": "Philosophy", "synopsis": "Asok wonders about his purpose in life. Wally has it figured out.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "wonder", "purpose", "life", "transport", "quantity", "coffee", "coffeemaker", "urinal", "despair" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-19", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Wally tries to blackmail Dilbert by threatening to give him a bad peer review.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "peer review", "360 degree review", "compensation", "negative review", "raise", "blackmail", "threat", "anonymous", "distrust", "distrust" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-20", "subject": "Tech Support", "synopsis": "Right before lunch, Dogbert's tech support service requires a password.", "characters": [ "client", "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "tech support", "password", "lunch", "telephone" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-21", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Asok to attend the technology steering committee meeting in his place.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss", "senior manager" ], "keywords": [ "attend", "stead", "technology", "steering", "committee", "tall", "senior management", "existence", "seat", "coffee" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-22", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "Carol doesn't like the way Dilbert asked for help, so she ignores him.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "three-ring binder", "reservation", "reserve", "conference room", "phone call", "give up", "leave", "telephone", "big jerk", "still there" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-23", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "The famous artist Dogberto", "synopsis": "Famous artist \"Dogberto\" explains his plans for decorating the lobby.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Dogbert", "Wally", "Alice", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "famous", "artist", "Dogberto", "lobby", "plan", "drop cloth", "home depot", "drape", "security desk", "guard", "gas", "light", "fire", "burn", "beret" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-24", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "\"Dogberto\" explains his plans for decorating the courtyard.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "Dogberto", "idea", "drape", "plan", "tarp", "sculpture", "courtyard", "message", "art", "negative space", "positive", "winning", "winner", "beret" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-25", "subject": "Outsourcing", "saga": "The Elbonian MP3 player", "synopsis": "An Elbonian sells the Boss on having his product manufactured in Elbonia.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "factory", "manufacture", "product", "penny", "downside", "translation", "translate", "plastic", "spleen", "pig-footed", "bandicoot" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-26", "subject": "Secretary", "synopsis": "Carol brings her daughter to work so she can learn about working in a corporate environment.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol", "Traylor" ], "keywords": [ "daughter", "working", "corporate environment", "project", "cut", "finger", "injured", "injury", "safety", "awareness", "campaign", "dog costume", "mascot", "safety hazard", "spot", "woof", "scissors", "tattoo" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-27", "subject": "Outsourcing", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows the Boss the prototype from the Elbonian factory.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "prototype", "factory", "expert", "good", "mp3 player", "plumber's helpers", "plumbers helpers", "plunger", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-28", "subject": "Outsourcing", "synopsis": "Dilbert had a conference call with the Elbonians at 3am.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Elbonian" ], "keywords": [ "gizmo", "prototype", "mp3 player", "conference call", "time difference", "time zone", "groggy", "English", "speaker" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-29", "subject": "Outsourcing", "synopsis": "The Elbonian MP3 player prototype will need a lot of marketing.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "factory", "prototype", "mp3 player", "large", "big", "tractor", "polka", "marketing", "budget", "asbestos" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-30", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "The Boss examines Dogbert's marketing resume.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "marketing", "expert", "resume", "Nobel Prize", "Olympic", "gold medal", "biathlon", "ski", "buy", "crap", "shoot" ] }, { "date": "2006-03-31", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains how to market their new MP3 player.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "guru", "consumer", "tractor", "mp3 player", "free", "iPod", "towing", "landfill", "pricing", "price", "cost" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-01", "subject": "Marketing", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains how to make their new MP3 player less scary.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "guru", "gizmo", "mp3 player", "large", "scary", "Angelina Jolie", "love", "never speak of this", "deviant", "lip" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-02", "subject": "Interview", "synopsis": "Catbert asks the Boss to make sure a candidate isn't too old.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Boss", "candidate" ], "keywords": [ "candidate", "too old", "age", "illegal", "stall", "explosive", "explode", "ear hair", "growth", "wrinkle", "moisturiser", "sun", "waited" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-03", "subject": "Policy", "synopsis": "Company policy does not allow space heaters in cubicles.", "note": "Scott reported some newspapers changed the punchline from \"it keeps Uranus warm\" to \"it keeps Venus warm\".", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "space heater", "cubicle", "air", "Uranus", "warm" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-04", "subject": "Downsizing", "saga": "Asok is mistakenly left in the desert", "synopsis": "The Boss sends Ted on a \"team-building\" exercise.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ted" ], "keywords": [ "team-building", "exercise", "security guard", "desert", "rescue", "fired", "abandon" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-05", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "The Boss mistakenly sends Asok on a \"team-building\" exercise instead of Ted.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Ted", "Alice", "Dilbert", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "tricked", "desert", "team-building", "exercise", "transfer", "kill", "awkward", "mistaken identity" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-06", "subject": "Nature", "synopsis": "Asok knows how to survive in the desert.", "characters": [ "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "survival", "method", "Indian Institute of Technology", "wounded", "rodent", "animal", "highway", "tickle", "feather", "hawk", "bird" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-07", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "Asok returns from his ordeal in the desert and he is mad.", "characters": [ "Asok", "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "team-building", "exercise", "desert", "die", "mad", "angry", "yell", "shout", "shake it off" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-08", "subject": "Vacation", "synopsis": "Wally doubles the length of his vacation when the Boss doesn't realise he was gone.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "vacation", "three-week", "leaving", "twice as good" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-09", "subject": "Sales", "synopsis": "Wally inadvertently helps the competition make a sale.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Ed", "customer", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "sales call", "secret weapon", "product", "price", "identical", "engineering staff", "genius", "innovation", "loser", "familiar", "surprised" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-10", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice to be less productive.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "productive", "productivity", "automatic", "promotion", "justify", "hiring", "direct", "report", "work", "idiot", "look", "pointy hair", "pillow" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-11", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss hires a new employee so he can get an automatic promotion.", "characters": [ "Boss", "new hire" ], "keywords": [ "direct", "report", "trigger", "automatic", "promotion", "employee", "feel", "team", "special", "hoped" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-12", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert's Mom's computer asks whether or not she wants to update her security software.", "characters": [ "Dilbert's Mom" ], "keywords": [ "security", "software", "computer", "natural life", "figure out", "upgrade", "hacker", "steal", "identity", "drain", "bank account", "destroy", "hard drive", "hard disk", "choice" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-13", "subject": "Contractor", "saga": "Dangling the carrot in front of a contract employee", "synopsis": "The Boss brings the new hire on as a contract employee while \"dangling the carrot\" of becoming a regular employee.", "characters": [ "Boss", "new hire", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "contract", "employee", "motivated", "dangling", "carrot", "regular", "mistake", "metaphor", "hat", "stick", "string" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-14", "subject": "Contractor", "synopsis": "The Boss threatens the new contractor with his firing finger.", "characters": [ "Boss", "new hire" ], "keywords": [ "contractor", "pressure", "get rid", "paperwork", "point", "finger", "history", "carrot", "hat", "stick", "string" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-15", "subject": "Contractor", "synopsis": "The new contractor explains his dream is to become a regular employee.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "new hire" ], "keywords": [ "contractor", "dream", "regular", "employee", "candy", "poop", "emerald", "difference", "half-way", "successful", "carrot", "hat", "stick", "string" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-16", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "Dilbert's chair breaks and the Boss tells him to turn it over and continue using it.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "chair", "broken", "guest chair", "wheel base", "unstable", "upside-down", "butt" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-17", "subject": "Personality", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Dilbert his opinion on her project plan.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "honest", "opinion", "project plan", "hold back", "written", "drunken", "lemur", "practical", "joke", "analogy", "analogy" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-18", "subject": "Work Avoidance", "saga": "The infeasible project plan", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Wally for a second opinion on her project plan.", "characters": [ "Wally", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "second", "opinion", "project plan", "hypothetically", "terrific", "engineer", "implement", "reek", "infeasibility" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-19", "subject": "Engineer", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Alice for a third opinion on her project plan.", "characters": [ "Alice", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "refuse", "support", "project plan", "stupidity", "leaping", "burrow", "brain", "won't work", "pass out", "passed out" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-20", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "A co-worker complains to the Boss the others don't like her project plan.", "characters": [ "Boss", "co-worker" ], "keywords": [ "engineer", "project plan", "Wally", "perfect fit", "problem solver", "won't work" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-21", "subject": "Health", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains his cubicle is inhibiting brain growth.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "study", "dull", "appearance", "cubicle", "inhibiting", "preventing", "growth", "neuron", "brain", "complain", "complaint" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-22", "subject": "Personality", "synopsis": "Topper claims he carried over so much vacation time they had to create a new month named for him.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Alice", "Topper" ], "keywords": [ "carry over", "vacation", "carried over", "new month", "pie hole", "topperuary" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-23", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "The Boss gets \"minimised\".", "characters": [ "Boss", "CEO", "manager" ], "keywords": [ "performance", "abysmal", "minimise", "downsize", "manager", "office", "refrigerator", "crisper", "direct report", "job title", "director", "unnecessary", "special", "project", "maximised", "jump", "roof", "view", "spectacular", "murder", "kill", "push" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-24", "subject": "Travel", "saga": "No more rental cars", "synopsis": "The car rental place has no cars left for Dilbert.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Rental Car Agent" ], "keywords": [ "reserved", "mid-sized", "car", "borrow", "glove", "lost-and-found", "frozen", "hand" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-25", "subject": "Travel", "synopsis": "Dilbert has to run to a meeting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "man" ], "keywords": [ "car", "rental", "car", "glove", "lost-and-found", "ran" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-26", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert's \"Barge City\"", "synopsis": "Dogbert plans to build his own country on the ocean using barges.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "build", "country", "ocean", "barge", "rule", "dictator", "monarch", "iron hand", "iron paw", "punishing", "citizen", "entertainment", "home", "oceanfront" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-27", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Vijay funds Dogbert's plan to build an ocean city on barges.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Vijay" ], "keywords": [ "desperate", "venture capitalist", "VC", "hundred billion", "ocean city", "barge", "money", "stock", "insincere", "wag", "financial" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-28", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert is recruiting a couple for his \"Barge City\".", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "husband", "wife" ], "keywords": [ "barge", "city", "affordable", "ocean", "brochure", "iron paw", "rule", "dissident", "shark", "snitch", "marriage" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-29", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert welcomes the first residents of his \"Barge City\".", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "husband", "wife" ], "keywords": [ "barge", "city", "fish", "lifesaver", "ramp", "dock", "float", "paradise", "cell phone", "signal", "help", "garbage", "bird", "seagull", "trash", "scow" ] }, { "date": "2006-04-30", "subject": "Training", "synopsis": "Wally inadvertently admits to several indiscretions before the Boss can finish what he's saying.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Wally" ], "keywords": [ "let you go", "bound", "e-mailed", "CEO", "daughter", "chimp", "guest house", "stolen", "office supplies", "dollar", "desk", "every day", "training", "class", "admission", "confession", "guilty", "steal" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-01", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to borrow money from Dogbert to open his own business.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "project", "cancelled", "vice president", "billion dollars", "sucker", "garbage", "barge", "scow", "oceanfront", "real estate", "lend", "money", "business" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-02", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains to Ratbert how he made a billion dollars in shady real estate deals.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Ratbert" ], "keywords": [ "billion", "dollar", "shady", "real estate", "deal", "moral", "story", "crime", "doesn't", "pay", "escrow", "ruin", "rat" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-03", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Bono mistakes Ratbert for Dogbert and tries to get him to donate his billions of dollars to charity.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Ratbert", "Bono" ], "keywords": [ "potato chips", "persuade", "persuasion", "donate", "billion", "third world", "country", "guilt", "force", "wrestle", "fight", "decoy", "headlock", "telephone headset" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-04", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "saga": "Dogbert buys the Company and fires Dilbert", "synopsis": "Dogbert buys Dilbert's company and fires him.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "complaining", "management", "company", "billion", "buy", "fix", "whining", "fired" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-05", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Dilbert goes online looking for a great job and finds an opening for a condiment.", "characters": [ "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "unemployed", "job hunting", "online", "experience", "relocate", "blender", "packaged", "condiment" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-06", "subject": "Downsizing", "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't get hired because he solved their problem during the interview.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "interviewer" ], "keywords": [ "interview", "engineering", "distribute", "power supply", "job hunt" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-07", "subject": "Ethics", "synopsis": "Wally from the future travels back in time to refresh his cup of coffee.", "characters": [ "Boss", "co-worker", "Dilbert", "Wally", "Future Wally" ], "keywords": [ "time travel", "future", "unethical", "past", "coffee", "die", "kill", "awkward", "hole", "chest" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-08", "subject": "Society", "synopsis": "Dilbert talks to the Garbageman about employment and love.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Garbageman" ], "keywords": [ "unemployed", "valuable", "member", "garbage", "bag", "trashcan", "love", "date" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-09", "subject": "Dating", "synopsis": "Dilbert has a blind date with a woman who knows how to use Photoshop.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "online", "unemployed", "picture", "restaurant", "wine", "disfigured" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-10", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders why ultra-wealthy Dogbert still lives with him.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "woman" ], "keywords": [ "billions", "underground", "city", "palace", "elevator", "linen closet", "topside", "coffee", "women", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-11", "subject": "Interview", "synopsis": "Dilbert visits a career counsellor who labels him a loser.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "career counsellor" ], "keywords": [ "whine", "billionaire", "checkbox", "loser" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-12", "subject": "Business", "saga": "Dilbert invents a new search engine", "synopsis": "Dilbert starts a high tech company in the garage.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "company", "garage", "homeowner", "rule", "parking", "driveway", "laptop computer" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-13", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert invents a search engine and dating service.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "laptop computer", "search engine", "single", "matching", "dating", "date", "service", "keyword", "threat", "e-mail", "mother", "education", "taught" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-14", "subject": "Office Politics", "synopsis": "Alice threatens to quit, but decides to stay when the Boss offers her a raise.", "characters": [ "Alice", "Boss", "Dilbert", "Carol", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "quit", "project", "raise", "announce", "shout", "disloyal", "reward" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-15", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dilbert goes to a patent lawyer to patent his search engine algorithm.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "lawyer", "monkey" ], "keywords": [ "search engine", "algorithm", "google", "patent", "billionaire", "girlfriend", "suspenders", "wing" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-16", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains he's not afraid of Google.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Larry Page", "Sergey Brin", "Eric Schmidt" ], "keywords": [ "Google", "competition", "squash", "evil", "death ray", "gizmo" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-17", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "The Google founders discuss how to kill Dilbert without being evil.", "characters": [ "Larry Page", "Sergey Brin" ], "keywords": [ "Google", "evil", "death ray", "gizmo", "space station", "ISS", "orbit", "bet", "the dumb one", "loser", "winner" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-18", "subject": "Technology", "synopsis": "Dogbert activates his space defence shield to protect their house.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Google", "death ray", "space station", "ISS", "orbit", "intercept", "rocket", "threat", "question" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-19", "subject": "Entrepreneur", "synopsis": "Vijay funds Dilbert's start-up company.", "characters": [ "Vijay", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "venture capitalist", "VC", "garage", "money", "product", "forklift", "massage oil" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-20", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "Dilbert's old company launches a lawyer to talk to him about his patent.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "Boss", "lawyer" ], "keywords": [ "funding", "search engine", "start-up", "optimism", "lawyerpult", "patent", "catapult" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-21", "subject": "Meeting", "synopsis": "In order to be productive, work is getting done during the Boss's meeting.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Asok", "Alice", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "laptop computer", "sound", "clickety", "airplane", "scooter", "locust", "talk", "landed", "parked", "napping", "attendance", "productivity" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-22", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "The Boss claims Dilbert thought up the search engine before they fired him, therefore it's theirs.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert", "Dogbert", "lawyer" ], "keywords": [ "search engine", "fired", "own", "lawyerpult", "catapult", "attorney", "holograph", "kick", "attack" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-23", "subject": "Law", "synopsis": "A lawyer explains the details of the non-compete agreement Dilbert had signed when he worked for the company.", "characters": [ "lawyer", "Dilbert", "Boss" ], "keywords": [ "non-compete agreement", "contract", "earn money", "sleep indoors", "procreate", "sex", "medical care", "doctor", "ceremonial dagger", "suicide" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-24", "subject": "Personnel", "synopsis": "Dilbert demands his old job back.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Catbert" ], "keywords": [ "lawyer", "patent", "old job", "cubicle" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-25", "subject": "Management", "saga": "The Boss, master of non-monetary compensation", "synopsis": "The Boss gives Carol the new office supply catalogue to peruse instead of a raise.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Carol" ], "keywords": [ "good news", "office supply catalogue", "imagine", "order", "shopper's high", "raise" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-26", "subject": "Benefits", "synopsis": "The Boss rewards Alice by letting her punch Ken in marketing as hard as she wants.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "budget", "reward", "non-monetary", "compensation", "marketing", "punch", "surprise" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-27", "subject": "Benefits", "synopsis": "The Boss rewards Asok by offering to listen to a boring story about his life.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "reward", "non-monetary", "compensation", "story", "pirate" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-28", "subject": "Retail", "synopsis": "Dilbert refuses to accept a game card that has a chance of winning free groceries.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "cashier", "Dogbert" ], "keywords": [ "game card", "cash register", "grocery store", "grocery", "penny", "bill", "procedure", "grape", "floor", "taste", "victory" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-29", "subject": "Character", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Lou Serdecisions to Dilbert. Lou asks Dilbert to cover for him during the project kickoff meeting.", "characters": [ "Dilbert", "Boss", "Lou Serdecisions" ], "keywords": [ "loser", "decision", "cover", "shelf paper", "kitchen cabinet", "project", "kickoff", "meeting", "dish", "wood" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-30", "subject": "Outsourcing", "saga": "The outsourcing of Asok's job to India", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Asok his job is being outsourced to India.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "India", "moved", "relocated", "Sandeep", "photocopy" ] }, { "date": "2006-05-31", "subject": "Outsourcing", "synopsis": "Asok tells Wally about his job being outsourced to India.", "characters": [ "Wally", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "India", "interesting" ] }, { "date": "2006-06-01", "subject": "Outsourcing", "synopsis": "Asok's job gets outsourced right back to him.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Asok" ], "keywords": [ "Indian", "work from home", "cubicle", "assignment", "e-mail", "time difference", "time zone", "bathrobe" ] }, { "date": "2006-06-02", "subject": "Management", "saga": "The government mandate", "synopsis": "Alice presents the results of her cost-benefit study to the product review committee.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice", "committee member" ], "keywords": [ "component", "product", "federal law", "committee", "cost-benefit", "study", "decision", "accurate", "math", "duh", "presentation" ] }, { "date": "2006-06-03", "subject": "Management", "synopsis": "The Boss misunderstands what the phrase \"government mandate\" means.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Alice" ], "keywords": [ "product", "review board", "committee", "approved", "business case", "government mandate", "diversity", "mailman", "homosexual" ] }, { "date": "2006-06-04", "subject": "Leadership", "synopsis": "The Boss's brain shuts down for the afternoon, so he has to resort to some generic leadership.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "blah", "brain", "shut down", "afternoon", "generic", "cost-benefit", "analysis", "buy-in", "stakeholder", "metric", "conference call", "push", "fake" ] }, { "date": "2006-06-05", "subject": "Dogbert-Schemes", "synopsis": "Dogbert claims his software is idiot-proof.", "characters": [ "Dogbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "Dogbert's Tech Support", "claim", "software", "idiot proof", "bought", "high five", "telephone headset" ] }, { "date": "2006-06-06", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert has been selected for a random drug test, but he has a shy bladder.", "characters": [ "Catbert", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "random", "drug test", "cup", "shy bladder", "pressure", "produce", "fired", "understanding", "urinate", "piss" ] }, { "date": "2006-06-07", "subject": "Personal", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to explain his shy bladder to the Boss.", "characters": [ "Boss", "Dilbert" ], "keywords": [ "refused", "random", "drug test", "shy bladder", "medical condition", "understand", "side effect", "nose candy", "cocaine" ] }, { "date": "2006-06-08", "synopsis": "Catbert asks for a urine sample. Dilbert suggests a hair sample instead." }, { "date": "2006-06-09", "synopsis": "Patty distorts Dilbert's statement about receiving a proposal from a vendor into Dilbert loves the new vendor." }, { "date": "2006-06-10", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Patty to relay to the project team the schedule is being pushed back by a week." }, { "date": "2006-06-11", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Dilbert to buy a candy bar from her daughter's fund raiser." }, { "date": "2006-06-12", "synopsis": "An old person doesn't believe in using Blackberries." }, { "date": "2006-06-13", "synopsis": "Satan's vendor describes the benefits of their technology and gives away t-shirts." }, { "date": "2006-06-14", "synopsis": "Satan's vendor will send the engineers on a free training course on an island retreat." }, { "date": "2006-06-15", "synopsis": "Satan's vendor brags to Alice there's nothing she can do about raised prices and delayed promises." }, { "date": "2006-06-16", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to know why a project failed. Dilbert says management discourages opinions." }, { "date": "2006-06-17", "synopsis": "The Boss installs his management listening catheter before hearing Dilbert's suggestion." }, { "date": "2006-06-18", "synopsis": "The Boss criticises Dilbert for his project coming in at 10% over budget even though it was exactly what Dilbert had estimated." }, { "date": "2006-06-19", "synopsis": "Smokin' Jim can't contain his urge and lights up." }, { "date": "2006-06-20", "synopsis": "Smokin' Jim tells Alice about his attention deficit disorder." }, { "date": "2006-06-21", "synopsis": "The Boss orders Dilbert to work on the weekend. Dilbert says there's nothing to do." }, { "date": "2006-06-22", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss which of the thirty projects he remembers assigning to Dilbert." }, { "date": "2006-06-23", "synopsis": "A trash collector freaks out when Dilbert puts his gum in the trash instead of the recycle bin." }, { "date": "2006-06-24", "synopsis": "Bulldozer Betty asks Asok to drop everything. So he drops his clothes.", "note": "The original version showed Asok's butt as he shivered in the hallway. For the final version, Scott added underpants. Panels were published on Scott's blog." }, { "date": "2006-06-25", "synopsis": "Dogbert welcomes everyone to his accelerated sales training course." }, { "date": "2006-06-26", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to bring him up to speed before the meeting." }, { "date": "2006-06-27", "synopsis": "Dogbert shows Dilbert his future best-selling book - part fake autobiography and part plagiarism." }, { "date": "2006-06-28", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks Dilbert to appear on the Oprah show in his place to talk about his new book." }, { "date": "2006-06-29", "synopsis": "An employee says she's quitting because she wants to kill the Boss." }, { "date": "2006-06-30", "synopsis": "Wally asks for a bonus just like the CEO's bonus." }, { "date": "2006-07-01", "synopsis": "Stinky Pete arrives to help Alice with her technical problem." }, { "date": "2006-07-02", "synopsis": "A new employee, Amber Dextrous, is introduced to Dilbert. She can do two things at the same time." }, { "date": "2006-07-03", "synopsis": "Stinky Pete describes his trip to work, eating an onion sandwich and rolling in a sewage spill." }, { "date": "2006-07-04", "synopsis": "Carol says she can no longer work with Dilbert because of something he said about her." }, { "date": "2006-07-05", "synopsis": "Carol welcomes attendees to a meeting of insane chicks." }, { "date": "2006-07-06", "synopsis": "At a meeting of insane chicks, someone complains about her boyfriend." }, { "date": "2006-07-07", "synopsis": "Catbert discovers embellishments on the Boss's resume." }, { "date": "2006-07-08", "synopsis": "After discovering the Boss lied on his resume, the Boss goes to see the VP of HR." }, { "date": "2006-07-09", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to do a project in his spare time. Dilbert doesn't know what spare time means." }, { "date": "2006-07-10", "synopsis": "An Elbonian says they discovered the mud in Elbonia is caused by an abundance of oil and coal near the surface." }, { "date": "2006-07-11", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to write a business case lobby the government to attack Elbonia." }, { "date": "2006-07-12", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to be hired as a lobbyist to convince Switzerland to attack Elbonia." }, { "date": "2006-07-13", "synopsis": "Dogbert the lobbyist says he'll get the government to include industrial waste in the food pyramid." }, { "date": "2006-07-14", "synopsis": "Dogbert bribes a congressman to vote for tax breaks for Dogbert's client." }, { "date": "2006-07-15", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells an Elbonian governments will attack his country and liberate him and his oil." }, { "date": "2006-07-16", "synopsis": "Wally agrees to look into getting technical specifications for a co-worker. The co-worker wants the specifications." }, { "date": "2006-07-17", "synopsis": "Wally says he's late to the meeting because he was stuck behind some slow walkers." }, { "date": "2006-07-18", "synopsis": "Asok goes to a meeting instead of the Boss. The other people wanted the Boss's input instead." }, { "date": "2006-07-19", "synopsis": "Wally asks the Boss what type of decision-making he'll use today, authoritative, consultative voting or consensus." }, { "date": "2006-07-20", "synopsis": "Wally is disappointed the Boss has never praised him for a job well done." }, { "date": "2006-07-21", "synopsis": "Dilbert faced a choice at work: do something important or something useless that looked good." }, { "date": "2006-07-22", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Carol where Asok is. She says it's not her job to keep track of the employees." }, { "date": "2006-07-23", "synopsis": "Alice wonders how Wally can be so relaxed when there is so much to do. Wally says he achieves his goals of not taking pride in his work." }, { "date": "2006-07-24", "synopsis": "Asok says Wally should not have eaten that burrito since he's not certified in ISO." }, { "date": "2006-07-25", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks if it's more important to follow the documented process or to meet the deadline." }, { "date": "2006-07-26", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Wally for the new design specs. She doesn't expect Wally will actually provide them." }, { "date": "2006-07-27", "synopsis": "Before a meeting with a Marketing guy, Alice slams his head on the table.", "note": "Two versions were published. One was for a meeting with Human Resources, the other for Marketing. Note that this alternative version may not have been official." }, { "date": "2006-07-28", "synopsis": "Catbert confronts Alice about her slamming the heads of Marketing people onto tables." }, { "date": "2006-07-29", "synopsis": "Alice, in an interview, slams the person's head on a table to find out the best place for him to work." }, { "date": "2006-07-30", "synopsis": "The Boss's plan for funding a new project involves playing budget chicken with a director." }, { "date": "2006-07-31", "synopsis": "The Boss interviews a job hopper who has had fifteen jobs in two months." }, { "date": "2006-08-01", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells a job hopper all jobs involve doing unpleasant things." }, { "date": "2006-08-02", "synopsis": "Dilbert is proud of his new powerpoint presentation." }, { "date": "2006-08-03", "synopsis": "The Boss says he didn't like Dilberts powerpoint presentation." }, { "date": "2006-08-04", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to cut his presentation to the CEO down to five minutes." }, { "date": "2006-08-05", "synopsis": "Dilbert dumbs down his presentation to the CEO to help him make the right decision." }, { "date": "2006-08-06", "synopsis": "The Boss tells the story of the auto mechanic who takes a hammer to an engine to fix it." }, { "date": "2006-08-07", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells a stranger about his schadenfreude party." }, { "date": "2006-08-08", "synopsis": "Customers complain about price stickers leaving white crud on their product." }, { "date": "2006-08-09", "synopsis": "A consultant spouts obvious generalities about information." }, { "date": "2006-08-10", "synopsis": "A mildly retarded consultant mixes metaphors and spouts nonsense." }, { "date": "2006-08-11", "synopsis": "A consultant says he's getting paid the most but Dilbert is the smartest person in the room." }, { "date": "2006-08-12", "synopsis": "A new nemesis meets Dilbert and says his function is now handled formally." }, { "date": "2006-08-13", "synopsis": "The Boss says Dilbert doesn't need to provide specifications to the programmers as they already know what to do." }, { "date": "2006-08-14", "synopsis": "The office nemesis asks Dilbert to do cost-benefit analyses for every conceivable option." }, { "date": "2006-08-15", "synopsis": "The Boss says even though the engineers' jobs are underpaid and frustrating, every other company is the same." }, { "date": "2006-08-16", "synopsis": "Phil darns someone to heck for using a cell phone in a meeting." }, { "date": "2006-08-17", "synopsis": "Mordac tells Asok how to increase the storage limit for his e-mail." }, { "date": "2006-08-18", "synopsis": "Wally said he couldn't get any work done because pop-up messages kept appearing telling him to upgrade software on his computer." }, { "date": "2006-08-19", "synopsis": "Dilbert is determined to keep a positive attitude toward life no matter what happens." }, { "date": "2006-08-20", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Phil O'Dendron, a potted plant who will sit in Dilbert's cubicle all day." }, { "date": "2006-08-21", "synopsis": "Wally says he'll quit and sell things on EBay." }, { "date": "2006-08-22", "synopsis": "Catbert confronts Wally about his side business of selling office supplies on EBay." }, { "date": "2006-08-23", "synopsis": "Wally's stack of disciplinary issues is very large and continues to grow." }, { "date": "2006-08-24", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells the Boss Wally has a laziness disability and can't be fired." }, { "date": "2006-08-25", "synopsis": "Not only can't Wally be fired, he is also employee of the month." }, { "date": "2006-08-26", "synopsis": "Alice is moved to a larger cubicle and she uses that to rule her co-workers with an iron fist." }, { "date": "2006-08-27", "synopsis": "Alice tells Asok not to tell the Boss anything while he's distracted." }, { "date": "2006-08-28", "synopsis": "Alice flaunts the fact she has a larger cubicle." }, { "date": "2006-08-29", "synopsis": "Wally says he couldn't do any work because Alice has a larger cubicle." }, { "date": "2006-08-30", "synopsis": "A man complains he's a technology left-behind." }, { "date": "2006-08-31", "synopsis": "The highlight of Wally's workday is his ham sandwich." }, { "date": "2006-09-01", "synopsis": "Alice uses mixed sports metaphors during a presentation." }, { "date": "2006-09-02", "synopsis": "An executive compensation review board meets and a clown suggests fifty million dollar salary for the CEO." }, { "date": "2006-09-03", "synopsis": "Even though Dilbert accomplished all his goals for the year, the Boss can't give much of a raise." }, { "date": "2006-09-04", "synopsis": "Dilbert is worried about buying a product that might have a new version next week." }, { "date": "2006-09-05", "synopsis": "The Boss hires a decorated army combat veteran." }, { "date": "2006-09-06", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the army vet how is the transition to corporate life." }, { "date": "2006-09-07", "synopsis": "Dilbert and the war veteran swap hardship stories. Dilbert's was about running out of staples." }, { "date": "2006-09-08", "synopsis": "The Boss asks the war veteran to take a birthday card around for signatures." }, { "date": "2006-09-09", "synopsis": "Alice asks Dilbert what he will wear for Ted's wedding." }, { "date": "2006-09-10", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Alice a new supplier will be found for the casing. Alice is worried it might not happen." }, { "date": "2006-09-11", "synopsis": "Dilbert is in charge of installing the system Lyin' John sold to their biggest customer." }, { "date": "2006-09-12", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells a customer he can't install the system Lyin' John sold them without losing money." }, { "date": "2006-09-13", "synopsis": "Dilbert reports the customer doesn't want to voluntarily pay more money to cover the bidding error." }, { "date": "2006-09-14", "synopsis": "Dogbert gives advice on how to get more money out of an underbid contract." }, { "date": "2006-09-15", "synopsis": "The Boss tells an interviewee he wants employees who are passionate." }, { "date": "2006-09-16", "synopsis": "The Boss's new strategy is to hire passionate people instead of smart ones." }, { "date": "2006-09-17", "synopsis": "Alice is always the one who has to fetch the extra chair for the meeting room." }, { "date": "2006-09-18", "synopsis": "The Boss sends Alice to a communication class." }, { "date": "2006-09-19", "synopsis": "Dogbert welcomes people to his communication seminar. He demonstrates how to pretend to listen while using a Blackberry." }, { "date": "2006-09-20", "synopsis": "Dogbert says there's no point in listening to other people. They either agree or say something stupid." }, { "date": "2006-09-21", "synopsis": "Dilbert provides the latest numbers from Yvonne, who had sextuplets, her house burned down and she had shoulder surgery." }, { "date": "2006-09-22", "synopsis": "Asok gives the Boss some hearsay about Ted's project." }, { "date": "2006-09-23", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Ted he heard Ted's project is floundering." }, { "date": "2006-09-24", "synopsis": "In Dogbert's school of management, he shows how to get employees to do the impossible." }, { "date": "2006-09-25", "synopsis": "Catbert gives asylum to Asok, the office snitch." }, { "date": "2006-09-26", "synopsis": "The Boss hires a lady because she is so attractive." }, { "date": "2006-09-27", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Ellen, who is unqualified but totally hot." }, { "date": "2006-09-28", "synopsis": "Carol complains the Boss hired Ellen only because she's hot." }, { "date": "2006-09-29", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to introduce himself to the new, hot employee." }, { "date": "2006-09-30", "synopsis": "Alice asks the Garbageman how to get rid of Ellen the new, hot employee." }, { "date": "2006-10-01", "synopsis": "Alice tells the Boss their new product is the worst on the market, according to the benchmarks. He asks her to re-test." }, { "date": "2006-10-02", "synopsis": "A new employee comes from a place with colourful folk sayings." }, { "date": "2006-10-03", "synopsis": "The Boss tries to get a straight answer out of the employee with lots of colourful sayings." }, { "date": "2006-10-04", "synopsis": "Asok can't decide about the employee with colourful sayings." }, { "date": "2006-10-05", "synopsis": "The Boss calls Dogbert's tech support. Dogbert advises slamming his hand in a drawer." }, { "date": "2006-10-06", "synopsis": "The Boss awards Ted a t-shirt for his work on the alpha project, then fires him. The t-shirt says \"idiot.\"" }, { "date": "2006-10-07", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Catbert how to assign blame for the failure of project alpha. Catbert suggests using the plunger of blame." }, { "date": "2006-10-08", "synopsis": "A reported for a business magazine interviews the Boss. He dispenses squirrel-related wisdom." }, { "date": "2006-10-09", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks why he received the plunger of blame. The Boss answers \"because I can.\"" }, { "date": "2006-10-10", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Garbageman how to get rid of the plunger of blame." }, { "date": "2006-10-11", "synopsis": "Dogbert says readers have asked for the return of Loud Howard. Dogbert says that makes no sense." }, { "date": "2006-10-12", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Loud Howard about an upcoming re-org and wants it kept a secret." }, { "date": "2006-10-13", "synopsis": "Loud Howard spreads the secret of the upcoming re-org." }, { "date": "2006-10-14", "synopsis": "Mindy demands Dilbert drops everything to make a change or else she'll spread a nasty rumour about him." }, { "date": "2006-10-15", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains attractive people are on his project. Attractive people are unproductive." }, { "date": "2006-10-16", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells the Boss he stayed up all night to work on Mindy's software because she threatened him." }, { "date": "2006-10-17", "synopsis": "Dilbert says his life consists of moving things from one place to another. He seeks a deeper meaning." }, { "date": "2006-10-18", "synopsis": "Wally says sadness is just another word for not enough coffee." }, { "date": "2006-10-19", "synopsis": "Dilbert reports he finished all his projects in one day, reconfigured the network, wrote white papers and applied for patents." }, { "date": "2006-10-20", "synopsis": "Because of the caffeine, Dilbert can predict the future." }, { "date": "2006-10-21", "synopsis": "Because of the coffee, Dilbert can levitate objects with his mind." }, { "date": "2006-10-22", "synopsis": "Catbert gets the new employee mainstreamed using their employee onboarding process." }, { "date": "2006-10-23", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a doctor if he's drinking too much coffee." }, { "date": "2006-10-24", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to cut down of coffee. Dilbert goes Darth Vader on him." }, { "date": "2006-10-25", "synopsis": "The Boss gives Alice a 3% raise because she did the work of three people." }, { "date": "2006-10-26", "synopsis": "Ratbert worries all his wisdom comes from bad analogies." }, { "date": "2006-10-27", "synopsis": "Ratbert wants to debate with people on the Internet, but may not be smart enough. So he just reads what smart people are saying." }, { "date": "2006-10-28", "synopsis": "Ratbert debates people on the Internet by always saying the same thing. He wins every argument." }, { "date": "2006-10-29", "synopsis": "The Boss goes to Dogbert's Motivational Speakers Bureau to hire a cheap speaker." }, { "date": "2006-10-30", "synopsis": "Carol complains Wally's popcorn makes it impossible to work. Wally says it's either his odour or the popcorn." }, { "date": "2006-10-31", "synopsis": "Another day of useless work and no accomplishment, but Dilbert says his personal life is meaningful." }, { "date": "2006-11-01", "synopsis": "Marketing asks for Wally's help on the new product. The product is worthless, too." }, { "date": "2006-11-02", "synopsis": "Wally sees the new product, which just occupies space and smells bad. They need a name for the product." }, { "date": "2006-11-03", "synopsis": "Ninety percent of the customers want to beat Wally to death with his stupid product." }, { "date": "2006-11-04", "synopsis": "Wally designs product collateral by comparing their product to even worse products." }, { "date": "2006-11-05", "synopsis": "Dogbert shows how to use your incompetence to achieve your career goals." }, { "date": "2006-11-06", "synopsis": "Dilbert discovers a dead co-worker in a cubicle." }, { "date": "2006-11-07", "synopsis": "Alice discovers a dead person in his cubicle. Dilbert had already seen him." }, { "date": "2006-11-08", "synopsis": "Wally stops by a dead co-workers cubicle to find out for sure if he's dead." }, { "date": "2006-11-09", "synopsis": "Carol reports to the Boss one of the employees is dead." }, { "date": "2006-11-10", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to get data from a co-worker who doesn't answer his phone or e-mail." }, { "date": "2006-11-11", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Dogbert how to get data from an unreachable guy. Dogbert says to just make up the data." }, { "date": "2006-11-12", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces his team to someone who will be making a proposal." }, { "date": "2006-11-13", "synopsis": "Topper says he strangled 900 insurgents with his bare hands." }, { "date": "2006-11-14", "synopsis": "Topper says he passed a kidney stone the size of a small horse." }, { "date": "2006-11-15", "synopsis": "Topper says he used too much tanning spray and Brand and Angelina adopted him." }, { "date": "2006-11-16", "synopsis": "Tina rewrites the project scope instead of just updating the project status." }, { "date": "2006-11-17", "synopsis": "Since the project scope was changed a team member asks to get off the project." }, { "date": "2006-11-18", "synopsis": "Dilbert says he doesn't have enough resources to do the project. The Boss says the project isn't important and neither is Dilbert." }, { "date": "2006-11-19", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks his date if she likes conversation. They can't agree on a good topic, though." }, { "date": "2006-11-20", "synopsis": "Alice meets a marketing guy who talks out of the ass on his head." }, { "date": "2006-11-21", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a marketing guy for data on customer preferences. The marketing guy pulls it out of his ass on the top of his head.", "note": "An early version showed the marketing guy ass on his head. The published version covered up the ass with underpants." }, { "date": "2006-11-22", "synopsis": "Dilbert combines lies from marketing with the Boss's assumptions and then factors in reality." }, { "date": "2006-11-23", "synopsis": "Dilbert meets a new, older, experienced employee." }, { "date": "2006-11-24", "synopsis": "Asok meets an older employee. The Boss asks Asok to explain what computers are." }, { "date": "2006-11-25", "synopsis": "The older employee says he didn't have ipods, cell phones, video games or computers when he was young." }, { "date": "2006-11-26", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Six Sigma, the new methodology. Dilbert says it was a fad discredited years ago." }, { "date": "2006-11-27", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Asok to get the client a \"little bit pregnant.\"" }, { "date": "2006-11-28", "synopsis": "Dilbert helps a co-worker solve an engineering problem he's been working on for six months." }, { "date": "2006-11-29", "synopsis": "An accounting troll says they might need to restate the earnings. It turns out they're not allowed to make up numbers." }, { "date": "2006-11-30", "synopsis": "A news report says the company restated its earnings from a few frillion to a loss of a billion. Dilbert thinks it's humiliating." }, { "date": "2006-12-01", "synopsis": "Dilbert admits to a woman he worked at the company that restated its earnings." }, { "date": "2006-12-02", "synopsis": "The CEO wants to clear up questions about the restatement of earnings. Wally asks if he will return his 25 million dollar bonus." }, { "date": "2006-12-03", "synopsis": "The Boss wants Alice to use her vacation days by the end of the year but still wants the project done by then." }, { "date": "2006-12-04", "synopsis": "A contract employee says he can't enjoy time off because he only gets paid for the time he works." }, { "date": "2006-12-05", "synopsis": "Catbert says an absence counts as an occurrence no matter how long it is." }, { "date": "2006-12-06", "synopsis": "Carol has a candy dish on her desk but doesn't want Dilbert to take any candy." }, { "date": "2006-12-07", "synopsis": "Dogbert says machines are more important than some employees." }, { "date": "2006-12-08", "synopsis": "The only employee who knows how to program the legacy machines has quit. Dilbert is to step in." }, { "date": "2006-12-09", "synopsis": "A family of squirrels has taken over the legacy payroll database. They make demands." }, { "date": "2006-12-10", "synopsis": "Dogbert's tech support advises a man to hand over his personal identity and check into rehab." }, { "date": "2006-12-11", "synopsis": "Asok asks for the Boss's comments on a proposal before it is submitted." }, { "date": "2006-12-12", "synopsis": "Asok has telekinesis but is not allowed to use it in front of the ungifted." }, { "date": "2006-12-13", "synopsis": "Asok invents a room-temperature superconductor instead of finding a new vendor for toner cartridges." }, { "date": "2006-12-14", "synopsis": "Alice is interrupted by a cell phone during a presentation. She destroys the phone." }, { "date": "2006-12-15", "synopsis": "The Boss assigns Wally to the director of marketing because the Boss hates the director." }, { "date": "2006-12-16", "synopsis": "The director of marketing asks Wally if Wally can do an assignment right." }, { "date": "2006-12-17", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss why he never showed up for the budget meeting the Boss had requested." }, { "date": "2006-12-18", "synopsis": "Dilbert sent an overly brief e-mail which Tina interpreted as he hates her." }, { "date": "2006-12-19", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Wally Tina is mad at him because of residual anger." }, { "date": "2006-12-20", "synopsis": "An insurance seller closes a deal and the client dies just after signing the contract." }, { "date": "2006-12-21", "synopsis": "An insurance seller closes a deal with the Boss just before the building catches fire." }, { "date": "2006-12-22", "synopsis": "A politician is having an affair with a squirrel, Dogbert tells Dilbert." }, { "date": "2006-12-23", "synopsis": "Wally teases that a politician had an affair with a squirrel. Dilbert responds another choked his secretary." }, { "date": "2006-12-24", "synopsis": "Wally tells Asok not to return dishes to the cafeteria. Someone else will do it instead." }, { "date": "2006-12-25", "synopsis": "Dilbert finds a way to save a million dollars for a cost of ten thousand. The Boss doesn't like it." }, { "date": "2006-12-26", "synopsis": "They don't pay enough to hire qualified employees so hire unqualified ones with good attitudes." }, { "date": "2006-12-27", "synopsis": "The Boss admits a new employee can't be trained, but doesn't want to fire him because there's now a hiring freeze." }, { "date": "2006-12-28", "synopsis": "A vampire gives a pep talk for the employees to donate blood. The vampire is not part of the Red Cross." }, { "date": "2006-12-29", "synopsis": "Catbert questions why the Boss allowed a vampire to run a blood drive." }, { "date": "2006-12-30", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol's advice on which diet to follow." }, { "date": "2006-12-31", "synopsis": "Dilbert must get approval from the change control board before talking with vendors to get their prices." }, { "date": "2007-01-01", "synopsis": "The Boss outlines the strategy in terms of food -- their meat and potatoes is their bread and butter." }, { "date": "2007-01-02", "synopsis": "The Boss announces he's on a diet and may not be as sharp as everyone expects him to be." }, { "date": "2007-01-03", "synopsis": "Wally eats a doughnut in front of the Boss to tease about his diet." }, { "date": "2007-01-04", "synopsis": "The Boss looks for a diet buddy to make it easier. Tina develops an eating disorder." }, { "date": "2007-01-05", "synopsis": "The Boss can't concentrate because of his diet so spouts worse gibberish than usual." }, { "date": "2007-01-06", "synopsis": "Dogbert, diet guru, gives the Boss some inspiration by threats.", "note": "Scott published an alternative version where Dogbert calls the Boss an overweight walrus with diabetes." }, { "date": "2007-01-07", "synopsis": "Tina edits a letter before the Boss sends it. She starts by looking for words that aren't words and sees what's left." }, { "date": "2007-01-08", "synopsis": "The Boss makes Dilbert into a sales engineer and switches him to be paid on commission." }, { "date": "2007-01-09", "synopsis": "Dilbert, sales engineer, has to lie to cover up the sales rep's statements." }, { "date": "2007-01-10", "synopsis": "Dogbert shows Dilbert how to lie to be a good sales support engineer." }, { "date": "2007-01-11", "synopsis": "The sales rep made the sale, now Dilbert has to install the product. The rep promised some extra features as well." }, { "date": "2007-01-12", "synopsis": "The network product is a box of leaves and twigs. Dilbert has to integrate it into the network." }, { "date": "2007-01-13", "synopsis": "Dilbert hooks up a box of twigs and leaves into a customer's network by running a cable through it." }, { "date": "2007-01-14", "synopsis": "Carol schedules a pre-meeting for after the meeting as that's the only time where everyone was free." }, { "date": "2007-01-15", "synopsis": "Ratbert is so happy he sings." }, { "date": "2007-01-16", "synopsis": "Dilbert orders sugared doughnuts and always gets plain doughnuts. Ratbert always licks off the sugar." }, { "date": "2007-01-17", "synopsis": "Dogbert helps the Boss remember his password. It's \"123.\"" }, { "date": "2007-01-18", "synopsis": "Dogbert runs a password recovery service for morons. Ned uses his first name." }, { "date": "2007-01-19", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol to book a staff meeting. The topic uses a combination of buzzwords for strategy and objectives." }, { "date": "2007-01-20", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to close the gap between strategy and objectives." }, { "date": "2007-01-21", "synopsis": "All travel must be booked through the corporate web site. Alice complains about the discount Elbonian airlines." }, { "date": "2007-01-22", "synopsis": "An alien wants to work with engineers to transfer his great knowledge." }, { "date": "2007-01-23", "synopsis": "An alien wants to share his knowledge but the company doesn't allow it." }, { "date": "2007-01-24", "synopsis": "An alien tries to share his technology with Alice." }, { "date": "2007-01-25", "synopsis": "An alien is frustrated no one wants his advanced knowledge." }, { "date": "2007-01-26", "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't want to attend a meeting right away because it will interrupt his lunch." }, { "date": "2007-01-27", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Asok to buy an award case then buy some awards to fill it." }, { "date": "2007-01-28", "synopsis": "A VP doesn't know who reports to him." }, { "date": "2007-01-29", "synopsis": "Dogbert comes up with a foolproof way to identify losers on the payroll." }, { "date": "2007-01-30", "synopsis": "Dogbert identifies a mutant who is the best fit for the job." }, { "date": "2007-01-31", "synopsis": "The new philosophy is called \"a bias for action.\" Dilbert wants to know which program is being eliminated to make room." }, { "date": "2007-02-01", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to make it to his cubicle without human contact." }, { "date": "2007-02-02", "synopsis": "The Boss asked for a button on the interface and then doesn't remember it." }, { "date": "2007-02-03", "synopsis": "Dilbert sees an opening for an engineer in research and development." }, { "date": "2007-02-04", "synopsis": "Dogbert kicks off the project by assigning blame for its eventual failure." }, { "date": "2007-02-05", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for permission to apply for the job in R&D. The Boss applied there too." }, { "date": "2007-02-06", "synopsis": "The Boss gives a twenty-year service award." }, { "date": "2007-02-07", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells the Boss Marketing isn't cooperating." }, { "date": "2007-02-08", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Wally what are his goals for the coming year." }, { "date": "2007-02-09", "synopsis": "Asok said he set his year's goals higher than he can achieve." }, { "date": "2007-02-10", "synopsis": "The Boss worries Dilbert set a goal to decompose in his chair." }, { "date": "2007-02-11", "synopsis": "The Boss juggles budget money around while everyone else complains." }, { "date": "2007-02-12", "synopsis": "A co-worker invades Dilbert's personal space with his non-standard facial hair." }, { "date": "2007-02-13", "synopsis": "A co-worker gets lodged in Dilbert's ear. A doctor tells how to get him out." }, { "date": "2007-02-14", "synopsis": "Employee appreciation day costs $25 apiece." }, { "date": "2007-02-15", "synopsis": "Dilbert compares his project to fifteen drunken monkeys with a jigsaw puzzle." }, { "date": "2007-02-16", "synopsis": "The Boss volunteers management help for projects. No one wants it." }, { "date": "2007-02-17", "synopsis": "The Boss offers ideas about Alice's project. She does not want them." }, { "date": "2007-02-18", "synopsis": "The new company health plan is for everyone to use Google to diagnose their own problems." }, { "date": "2007-02-19", "synopsis": "Dogbert runs public relations for the company. He tells the media their products are deadly and are being recalled." }, { "date": "2007-02-20", "synopsis": "Dogbert, PR rep, convinces media to do a story on their products." }, { "date": "2007-02-21", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells the Boss to do something that has never been done, to get free publicity." }, { "date": "2007-02-22", "synopsis": "Dogbert convinces a reporter to publish his press release." }, { "date": "2007-02-23", "synopsis": "Dogbert says his PR campaign caused their stock price to be grossly over-inflated." }, { "date": "2007-02-24", "synopsis": "The Boss finds a dead horse in the hall and starts punching it." }, { "date": "2007-02-25", "synopsis": "The Boss puts Dilbert in charge of the project but does not give a budget or assign resources or allow Dilbert to create a project plan." }, { "date": "2007-02-26", "synopsis": "There's asbestos in the ceiling but Carol doesn't need to worry." }, { "date": "2007-02-27", "synopsis": "The employees are whiny about asbestos in the ceiling and the Boss in a hazmat suit." }, { "date": "2007-02-28", "synopsis": "Asok uses his telekinesis to take care of the asbestos problem." }, { "date": "2007-03-01", "synopsis": "A sales rep loses control when Dilbert asks about tax and shipping on the estimate." }, { "date": "2007-03-02", "synopsis": "A sales rep says Dilbert flipped out when she showed him the cost estimates." }, { "date": "2007-03-03", "synopsis": "Catbert confronts Alice about her punching a crazy co-worker." }, { "date": "2007-03-04", "synopsis": "Wally plans his excuses around Ted's vacation." }, { "date": "2007-03-05", "synopsis": "Wally passes around Ted's get well card." }, { "date": "2007-03-06", "synopsis": "Alice always solves problems caused by the Boss." }, { "date": "2007-03-07", "synopsis": "Asok asks Wally's advice on how to handle priorities." }, { "date": "2007-03-08", "synopsis": "Wally hasn't finished the detailed analysis because he's more of a big picture guy." }, { "date": "2007-03-09", "synopsis": "Wally enjoys disappointing people. He loves who he is." }, { "date": "2007-03-10", "synopsis": "Wally will speak about disappointing people for Dogbert's speakers bureau." }, { "date": "2007-03-11", "synopsis": "The Boss envisions a giant goals database for division goals, department goals and personal goals." }, { "date": "2007-03-12", "synopsis": "Dogbert books Wally to be the keynote speaker for a big company." }, { "date": "2007-03-13", "synopsis": "Wally advises his audience the source of all unhappiness is other people." }, { "date": "2007-03-14", "synopsis": "A financial adviser outlines his plan to invest Wally's money from demotivational speaking." }, { "date": "2007-03-15", "synopsis": "Wally didn't feel the need to work this week due to his outside income." }, { "date": "2007-03-16", "synopsis": "The Boss doesn't want to lose empty cubicles to other departments." }, { "date": "2007-03-17", "synopsis": "Wally takes his time writing a technical evaluation. The first draft says \"blah, blah, blah.\"" }, { "date": "2007-03-18", "synopsis": "Alice puts hazardous waste into the break room fridge to find out who's been eating her lunch." }, { "date": "2007-03-19", "synopsis": "Loneliness can only be cured by others listening to you, Dilbert says." }, { "date": "2007-03-20", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Asok to make a spreadsheet and track something. It doesn't matter what." }, { "date": "2007-03-21", "synopsis": "No e-mail on Fridays in order to boost productivity, the Boss announces." }, { "date": "2007-03-22", "synopsis": "Catbert tells Dilbert he as already reached full potential, so there's no reason to improve." }, { "date": "2007-03-23", "synopsis": "The career plan for Alice is to keep her around until an Elbonian can do her job for less, Catbert says." }, { "date": "2007-03-24", "synopsis": "Dilbert does things differently from the Boss, so he must be doing everything wrong." }, { "date": "2007-03-25", "synopsis": "Wally does some e-mail judo to keep from doing work." }, { "date": "2007-03-26", "synopsis": "Jeff the human ashtray comes close to Alice to share his aroma." }, { "date": "2007-03-27", "synopsis": "Jeff the human ashtray warns Dilbert about a hole in the ground, but it's just ash." }, { "date": "2007-03-28", "synopsis": "Jeff the human ashtray says he can be a good manager." }, { "date": "2007-03-29", "synopsis": "Jeff the human ashtray says there's more to being a manager than having an ashtray for a head.", "note": "An early version of the strip shows Jeff sitting on the toilet and shows the toilet. The published version does a closeup of Jeff and does not show the toilet." }, { "date": "2007-03-30", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to inventory the furniture. Dilbert wonders when the Boss will forget the Boss asked." }, { "date": "2007-03-31", "synopsis": "The Boss's department will be eliminated because the CEO doesn't understand what it does." }, { "date": "2007-04-01", "synopsis": "Dilbert has trouble talking with the Boss because he's always busy." }, { "date": "2007-04-02", "synopsis": "The Boss tells everyone the department will be eliminated because the CEO doesn't know what they do." }, { "date": "2007-04-03", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Asok to create some slides to describe what the department does and use a process called lying." }, { "date": "2007-04-04", "synopsis": "Wally recommends dishonesty when quantifying the benefits of the department." }, { "date": "2007-04-05", "synopsis": "Dogbert can quantify the unquantifiable." }, { "date": "2007-04-06", "synopsis": "Dogbert the quantifier recommends making absurd claims while hoping no one asks questions." }, { "date": "2007-04-07", "synopsis": "Dogbert the quantifier says an artist is worth $85." }, { "date": "2007-04-08", "synopsis": "If Dilbert invented something to give him unlimited power, Dogbert would kill him and take it." }, { "date": "2007-04-09", "synopsis": "Catbert hired two for Dilbert's project -- a mumbler and hard of hearing." }, { "date": "2007-04-10", "synopsis": "Tina says Dilbert's success diminishes her." }, { "date": "2007-04-11", "synopsis": "Alice wants comments by e-mail because Ted might change his story later." }, { "date": "2007-04-12", "synopsis": "Ted denies seeing the design but Alice shows him his comments." }, { "date": "2007-04-13", "synopsis": "Tina wants to know why engineers are paid more than technical writers." }, { "date": "2007-04-14", "synopsis": "Tina enjoys pointing out Dilbert's mistakes." }, { "date": "2007-04-15", "synopsis": "The company lawyer says it's hard to find a product name. The good ones are taken and so are the bad ones." }, { "date": "2007-04-16", "synopsis": "Dilbert spends his time planning and scheduling work, and explaining why he never has time to do actual work." }, { "date": "2007-04-17", "synopsis": "Wally sells his remaining soul to Catbert for a doughnut." }, { "date": "2007-04-18", "synopsis": "Catbert detects a glimmer of hope in Dilbert." }, { "date": "2007-04-19", "synopsis": "Catbert detects a reincarnated soul in Asok and fixes it so next time the soul can't escape his dead body." }, { "date": "2007-04-20", "synopsis": "The new product can download pictures, smells, tastes and celebrity tickling patterns." }, { "date": "2007-04-21", "synopsis": "The new product is so good people starve to death while using it, Dilbert tells his date." }, { "date": "2007-04-22", "synopsis": "Half the department will be outsourced, but the Boss can't tell anyone." }, { "date": "2007-04-23", "synopsis": "It has been a long meeting and Alice is anxious to wrap it up so prevents other issues from being raised." }, { "date": "2007-04-24", "synopsis": "Alice has a bad case of chair buttocks but can still lead a normal life.", "note": "An early version of the strip shows Alice on her hands and knees on the doctor's table. There's also a closeup cropped image showing the doctor's face up Alice's butt. The published version shows Alice leaning over a table and the Doctor farther away." }, { "date": "2007-04-25", "synopsis": "A doctor shows Alice normal buttocks and compares to her box-shaped ones." }, { "date": "2007-04-26", "synopsis": "The Boss is starting a blog about the business and asks Tina to write it." }, { "date": "2007-04-27", "synopsis": "Tina's blog post for the Boss isn't witty enough, he says." }, { "date": "2007-04-28", "synopsis": "The CEO tells the Boss the Boss's blog has become an embarrassment to the company." }, { "date": "2007-04-29", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to show off a concept product, similar to concept cars from automotive companies." }, { "date": "2007-04-30", "synopsis": "Dogbert is getting Elbonians to make running shoes in Dilbert's basement." }, { "date": "2007-05-01", "synopsis": "An Elbonian asks Dilbert to help him escape from Dogbert's running-shoe factory in the basement." }, { "date": "2007-05-02", "synopsis": "A cartoonist in a cubicle may embarrass the company so the Boss must assign absurd work until he quits." }, { "date": "2007-05-03", "synopsis": "A cartoonist looks around the office for inspiration." }, { "date": "2007-05-04", "synopsis": "The Boss asks the cartoonist to stop mocking the management of the company in the newspapers." }, { "date": "2007-05-05", "synopsis": "The cartoonist says his side job is doing well so he hands in his resignation to the Boss." }, { "date": "2007-05-06", "synopsis": "A new guy asks Dilbert how long before the dark cloud of hopelessness and despair begins to go away." }, { "date": "2007-05-07", "synopsis": "Dilbert ignores e-mail from people who don't include his original message in their reply." }, { "date": "2007-05-08", "synopsis": "A co-worker complains Dilbert never answers her e-mail. He says her e-mails are hard to read." }, { "date": "2007-05-09", "synopsis": "Wally goes to meetings and never gets any action items by using a certain facial expression to ward them off." }, { "date": "2007-05-10", "synopsis": "After his presentation, Dilbert asks if there are any questions designed to increase his workload for their entertainment." }, { "date": "2007-05-11", "synopsis": "Dogbert's tech support advises to turn off everything including lights, water heater, microwave and refrigerator." }, { "date": "2007-05-12", "synopsis": "Dogbert's tech support selects a product from the caller's computer to blame for all the problems." }, { "date": "2007-05-13", "synopsis": "Disgruntled Doug is to work on the company's pricing model, and the Boss puts him in a cardboard box instead of a cubicle." }, { "date": "2007-05-14", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks to move to a window cubicle after 25 years without one." }, { "date": "2007-05-15", "synopsis": "Dilbert is happy no one can take his name until his credit card company calls and says someone stole his identity." }, { "date": "2007-05-16", "synopsis": "Dogbert advises the Boss to get a dashboard application to show metrics so he can ignore it when making policy decisions." }, { "date": "2007-05-17", "synopsis": "The Boss is worried the metrics on his dashboard aren't good so needs to falsify them." }, { "date": "2007-05-18", "synopsis": "The Boss awards Carol some morale dollars she can use to redeem for gifts and services she doesn't want or need." }, { "date": "2007-05-19", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Ted to work late every night until they catch up. And work every weekend." }, { "date": "2007-05-20", "synopsis": "Every project Dilbert worked on got cancelled after the reorganisation. It's like he didn't exist." }, { "date": "2007-05-21", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a co-worker to sign off on a plan in writing so he can't raise any objections later." }, { "date": "2007-05-22", "synopsis": "Other department heads won't sign off on the business plan so they'll look good in comparison." }, { "date": "2007-05-23", "synopsis": "At a productive management retreat, they golfed hard until they came up with a new vision for the company." }, { "date": "2007-05-24", "synopsis": "Catbert asks Asok to have more of a winner's mentality." }, { "date": "2007-05-25", "synopsis": "Ted is so busy his head explodes.", "note": "This strip is almost identical to one published on 2008-09-18." }, { "date": "2007-05-26", "synopsis": "Dilbert is asked to help with a technical analysis but wants his lawn mowed in return." }, { "date": "2007-05-27", "synopsis": "Alice is employee of the month but doesn't want any of the rewards." }, { "date": "2007-05-28", "synopsis": "Dogbert the lawyer threatens a web page company for stealing people's cursors." }, { "date": "2007-05-29", "synopsis": "Ratbert teases Dilbert he will wear clothes he doesn't want to wear and spend the day where he doesn't want to be." }, { "date": "2007-05-30", "synopsis": "Ratbert brags he will be eating Dilbert's computer cables." }, { "date": "2007-05-31", "synopsis": "Asok gets a text message from the Boss. \"KEEP UP WRK.\"" }, { "date": "2007-06-01", "synopsis": "Rebels threaten to attack the Elbonian factory unless they get a million dollars. Dilbert negotiates." }, { "date": "2007-06-02", "synopsis": "Dilbert negotiates with the Elbonian rebels so they won't attack the factory." }, { "date": "2007-06-03", "synopsis": "The Boss brings Dilbert along to the CEO meeting in case of technical questions. The Boss says to be completely honest." }, { "date": "2007-06-04", "synopsis": "Dilbert reaches an agreement with the Elbonian rebels. The rebels get stock instead of a ransom." }, { "date": "2007-06-05", "synopsis": "The company is funding terrorists. Very indirectly and not the bad kind of terrorists." }, { "date": "2007-06-06", "synopsis": "The new dress code is a thin film of oil so they can fit twenty people in a cubicle." }, { "date": "2007-06-07", "synopsis": "The company has given up trying to win one of the \"best places to work\" awards." }, { "date": "2007-06-08", "synopsis": "A co-worker turns 50 and says he never felt better." }, { "date": "2007-06-09", "synopsis": "Asok can't get the necessary software to do his job so must share a computer with someone else who has it." }, { "date": "2007-06-10", "synopsis": "Is Dilbert's plan consistent with the corporate strategy? He doesn't know as he's never seen the strategy." }, { "date": "2007-06-11", "synopsis": "Wally mapped and gapped the requirements to consolidate everything into a program of work." }, { "date": "2007-06-12", "synopsis": "The CEO makes meetings go faster by saying opinions are treason." }, { "date": "2007-06-13", "synopsis": "The CEO wants everyone to be passionate for their jobs. His is working everyone like a rented mule." }, { "date": "2007-06-14", "synopsis": "The Boss wrote his password on his forehead and wants Dilbert to read it." }, { "date": "2007-06-15", "synopsis": "The Boss wants a productivity simulation of half the workforce is lost due to a pandemic." }, { "date": "2007-06-16", "synopsis": "Everyone must charge to the appropriate project code, or lie if their project is unfunded." }, { "date": "2007-06-17", "synopsis": "Dilbert is annoyed by whistling so summons Alice to handle the situation." }, { "date": "2007-06-18", "synopsis": "To save the environment Dogbert gives bad career advice to get a person fired and no longer commutes." }, { "date": "2007-06-19", "synopsis": "Dogbert advises to stop eating, breathing, driving, defecating and procreating. And start decomposing." }, { "date": "2007-06-20", "synopsis": "Dogbert recommends slamming SUVs into hybrids to get them off the road altogether." }, { "date": "2007-06-21", "synopsis": "Dogbert starts collecting methane from Wally, enough to power a small building." }, { "date": "2007-06-22", "synopsis": "Asok can't get Alice's attention because he's not important." }, { "date": "2007-06-23", "synopsis": "Asok's central nervous system starts to atrophy." }, { "date": "2007-06-24", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to hit himself with a hammer rather than running a paper by an attorney." }, { "date": "2007-06-25", "synopsis": "A new hire has too many personal problems." }, { "date": "2007-06-26", "synopsis": "Nancy is in love with a medical school cadaver." }, { "date": "2007-06-27", "synopsis": "Nancy eats too much licorice and diet soda and has joined Al Qaeda." }, { "date": "2007-06-28", "synopsis": "Dogbert, career counsellor, advises a client to do something he loves." }, { "date": "2007-06-29", "synopsis": "Dogbert, career counsellor, says a client has no marketable talent and is unemployable." }, { "date": "2007-06-30", "synopsis": "A man with a degree in flower arranging wants to be a billionaire." }, { "date": "2007-07-01", "synopsis": "Wally didn't get the benchmark tests done because of global warming." }, { "date": "2007-07-02", "synopsis": "It's Catbert's fault the company is losing market share." }, { "date": "2007-07-03", "synopsis": "Catbert decides to segment the compensation of different classes of employees." }, { "date": "2007-07-04", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to invite friends over for a barbecue but needs to make some friends first." }, { "date": "2007-07-05", "synopsis": "Carol arranges the executive golf tournament. She put cigar smokers in the Boss's foursome. Lunch is baked beans and sauerkraut." }, { "date": "2007-07-06", "synopsis": "The Boss is off to the executive golf tournament. He realises the contrast between his job and Carol's." }, { "date": "2007-07-07", "synopsis": "Asok caddies for the Boss in a golf tournament. Asok confuses a sand wedge and a sandwich." }, { "date": "2007-07-08", "synopsis": "Dogbert convinces a management consultant firm to hire him as a management consultant." }, { "date": "2007-07-09", "synopsis": "Dilbert attends an all-hands meeting." }, { "date": "2007-07-10", "synopsis": "Ted's job is outsourced and he gets a job with the outsourcer." }, { "date": "2007-07-11", "synopsis": "No one at Dilbert's meeting has any knowledge or the authority to make decisions." }, { "date": "2007-07-12", "synopsis": "Carol sets up a dinner for key employees, who are everyone except her." }, { "date": "2007-07-13", "synopsis": "Having internal phone lists are against policy bu the Boss doesn't know why." }, { "date": "2007-07-14", "synopsis": "No drinking coffee at work is the new policy. Policies are for evil purposes." }, { "date": "2007-07-15", "synopsis": "Wally applies for a job he's unqualified for to use it to negotiate for a raise." }, { "date": "2007-07-16", "synopsis": "The Boss will be managing the Elbonian branch office, but back in his own country." }, { "date": "2007-07-17", "synopsis": "The Boss says Elbonians won't work unless they're watched constantly." }, { "date": "2007-07-18", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for feedback on the idea of hiring a project coordinator. Everyone thinks it's a bad idea." }, { "date": "2007-07-19", "synopsis": "New employees learn they'll have no time for exercise. They'll work long hours and consume trans fats." }, { "date": "2007-07-20", "synopsis": "Dilbert is promoted from senior engineer to lead engineer. The pay is the same." }, { "date": "2007-07-21", "synopsis": "Dilbert is promoted to lead engineer and so is Wally. They're both disappointed." }, { "date": "2007-07-22", "synopsis": "Alice and Dilbert get Asok to raise the issue that the project uses old technology instead of new." }, { "date": "2007-07-23", "synopsis": "Tina complains Wally's snacks are too loud." }, { "date": "2007-07-24", "synopsis": "Tina complains to Catbert Wally eats loud snacks in his cubicle." }, { "date": "2007-07-25", "synopsis": "Alice visits a psychologist about her urge to punch people who deserve it." }, { "date": "2007-07-26", "synopsis": "Wally receives many e-mails from the Boss, all marked highest priority. So he spent the entire week working on the first one." }, { "date": "2007-07-27", "synopsis": "The Boss hires Dogbert's moving company to relocate Ted. The movers are cheap." }, { "date": "2007-07-28", "synopsis": "The automated test software has been cut from the budget so the Boss asks Dilbert to write it." }, { "date": "2007-07-29", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to get the system price from a vendor but all she talks about is delivery time." }, { "date": "2007-07-30", "synopsis": "Dilbert can't get an automated testing system by the Boss's deadline so Dilbert needs to work smarter with a bias for action." }, { "date": "2007-07-31", "synopsis": "There are two kinds of management problems -- those than can be solved by yelling and the kind that can be solved by buying software." }, { "date": "2007-08-01", "synopsis": "The Boss buys software to yell at Wally." }, { "date": "2007-08-02", "synopsis": "Wally wears noise cancellation headphones to a meeting. The Boss doesn't like it." }, { "date": "2007-08-03", "synopsis": "The Boss wants open-source software for everything. It's free." }, { "date": "2007-08-04", "synopsis": "Wally says there's two options, one that costs too much, the other won't work." }, { "date": "2007-08-05", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a vendor when the next model comes out. If it's two months, Dilbert will wait until then." }, { "date": "2007-08-06", "synopsis": "Tina leaves a note on Dilbert's monitor, also leaves a voicemail and sends an e-mail." }, { "date": "2007-08-07", "synopsis": "The Boss decides to manage by spreadsheet and track things until problems fix themselves." }, { "date": "2007-08-08", "synopsis": "Asok is doing a terrible job according to the Boss's spreadsheet. Asok thinks the spreadsheet must be poorly conceived." }, { "date": "2007-08-09", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol to cancel all his meetings. He'll be managing by spreadsheet and e-mail." }, { "date": "2007-08-10", "synopsis": "Dogbert wears tall pants and an old-fashioned hairpiece because he's running for president." }, { "date": "2007-08-11", "synopsis": "Dogbert makes campaign promises -- anti-terrorism, tax policies, pollution, health." }, { "date": "2007-08-12", "synopsis": "Dilbert is to prepare a proposal for something they don't have the right products or expertise." }, { "date": "2007-08-13", "synopsis": "Dogbert says in his fist hundred days as president, he'll carve his initials in all the furniture." }, { "date": "2007-08-14", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks Ratbert to be his vice-presidential running mate, and be very unpopular." }, { "date": "2007-08-15", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for a meeting to prepare for a meeting to decide how to decide." }, { "date": "2007-08-16", "synopsis": "The CEO doesn't understand the Boss so sends him away. The Boss blames it on Dilbert." }, { "date": "2007-08-17", "synopsis": "The Boss hires a coffee-swilling beaver to help Carol.", "note": "An enlargement of the final panel was published on Scott's blog." }, { "date": "2007-08-18", "synopsis": "The coffee swilling beaver says he has no impulse control.", "note": "An enlargement of the final panel was published on Scott's blog." }, { "date": "2007-08-19", "synopsis": "The Boss calls a meeting to discuss changes to the pension plan. Everyone already saw the e-mail." }, { "date": "2007-08-20", "synopsis": "The Boss tells each person they are the highest paid engineer but not to tell anyone." }, { "date": "2007-08-21", "synopsis": "A woman at a party had a facelift that lets her see over the tops of cubicles." }, { "date": "2007-08-22", "synopsis": "Stockholders complain the CEO earned $72 million while the stock price dropped nine percent." }, { "date": "2007-08-23", "synopsis": "Dilbert says his boyhood dream of working in a fabric-covered box came true." }, { "date": "2007-08-24", "synopsis": "Dilbert sorts the product features into priorities -- essential, critical and must-have." }, { "date": "2007-08-25", "synopsis": "The CEO sells some company goodwill." }, { "date": "2007-08-26", "synopsis": "Dilbert can't get a raise because he asked too many questions." }, { "date": "2007-08-27", "synopsis": "Dogbert redesigns the headquarters after purchasing the company's goodwill." }, { "date": "2007-08-28", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks for customers to be injured after buying company goodwill." }, { "date": "2007-08-29", "synopsis": "Catbert installs sensors to detect happy thoughts when people should be working." }, { "date": "2007-08-30", "synopsis": "Wally's brain monitor proves he never thinks about work." }, { "date": "2007-08-31", "synopsis": "The Boss made a typo so has to let Ted go." }, { "date": "2007-09-01", "synopsis": "The Boss made a typo in the budget so Dilbert can't get hardware or software for the lab." }, { "date": "2007-09-02", "synopsis": "Dilbert is to mentor the new intern -- the CEO's son." }, { "date": "2007-09-03", "synopsis": "The Boss hires three hundred people to complete a project that will take three hundred man days." }, { "date": "2007-09-04", "synopsis": "Asok completed his work and asks for more. The Boss asks him to create a document and route it around for approval." }, { "date": "2007-09-05", "synopsis": "An Elbonian with a skunk asks for directions to the microwave." }, { "date": "2007-09-06", "synopsis": "Carl is fired because he's totally incompetent at everything." }, { "date": "2007-09-07", "synopsis": "Carl is to train Dilbert on how to do his job after being fired for gross incompetence." }, { "date": "2007-09-08", "synopsis": "Dilbert's new circuit design is worse than the old one, the Boss hears." }, { "date": "2007-09-09", "synopsis": "Asok didn't finish his tasks for the meeting so Wally gives him a powerful anti-meeting spell." }, { "date": "2007-09-10", "synopsis": "Dogbert gets campaign support from the military industrial complex." }, { "date": "2007-09-11", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice to see him at the end of the day but she's worried when he doesn't say why." }, { "date": "2007-09-12", "synopsis": "People complain about how Wally opens a security door -- by putting his card in his front pocket and thrusting it at the sensor." }, { "date": "2007-09-13", "synopsis": "The Boss says they can't compete on price, quality, features or service." }, { "date": "2007-09-14", "synopsis": "The new VP of marketing promises to improve revenues by ten billion percent." }, { "date": "2007-09-15", "synopsis": "Dogbert spraypaints the roadkill by using dishonesty.", "note": "On his blog, Scott Adams showed a panel with different dialog." }, { "date": "2007-09-16", "synopsis": "A negotiator isn't authorised to make any changes to the contract, so wears people down." }, { "date": "2007-09-17", "synopsis": "Dogbert translates technical terms into marketing language." }, { "date": "2007-09-18", "synopsis": "The head of public relations has to explain Dogbert's marketing claims." }, { "date": "2007-09-19", "synopsis": "A co-worker brags to Alice about getting a window cubicle." }, { "date": "2007-09-20", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells his date he saw a documentary about bugs." }, { "date": "2007-09-21", "synopsis": "Wally says he needs constant supervision so didn't get the cost estimates." }, { "date": "2007-09-22", "synopsis": "Carol hasn't updated the org chart because she keeps waiting for it to become important." }, { "date": "2007-09-23", "synopsis": "The product design is worse than the old design, but the designer didn't know it was supposed to be better." }, { "date": "2007-09-24", "synopsis": "Dogbert makes a campaign promise to never make decisions based on opinion polls." }, { "date": "2007-09-25", "synopsis": "Dogbert promises a potential political donor to run the bureau of alcohol, tobacco and firearms." }, { "date": "2007-09-26", "synopsis": "Dilbert despairs none of his efforts will mean anything." }, { "date": "2007-09-27", "synopsis": "The Boss does some generic management and inquires about the talk to whats-his-name about the thing." }, { "date": "2007-09-28", "synopsis": "Wally is late because he'll work unverifiable hours after the Boss leaves." }, { "date": "2007-09-29", "synopsis": "Catbert questions Wally about his loyalty to the company. He uses phrasing to confuse the issue." }, { "date": "2007-09-30", "synopsis": "Dilbert does carpet fishing in his cubicle. He uses a grid on the carpet and a randomising program on his computer." }, { "date": "2007-10-01", "synopsis": "The Boss asks why it took Dilbert six months to complete a simple task. Dilbert blames it on the Boss's management style." }, { "date": "2007-10-02", "synopsis": "The Boss hires a sadist to thin the herd." }, { "date": "2007-10-03", "synopsis": "The sadist says Wally is worthless and overpaid. Wally doesn't care." }, { "date": "2007-10-04", "synopsis": "The Boss wants people to use vacation by year end then criticises Asok for taking time off." }, { "date": "2007-10-05", "synopsis": "Asok works extra hard to finish his work before his vacation. Dilbert goes home early." }, { "date": "2007-10-06", "synopsis": "Dilbert criticises a co-worker's powerpoint and calls it useless and has wino's spittle." }, { "date": "2007-10-07", "synopsis": "The mandatory meeting on employee health and well-being starts at 6AM so as not to interfere with work." }, { "date": "2007-10-08", "synopsis": "Dilbert is honest on his timesheet and charges less of his time to projects than all the other engineers." }, { "date": "2007-10-09", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date says he treats all their conversations like a contest where he has too be the one who is right." }, { "date": "2007-10-10", "synopsis": "Wally says the new hire is a weasel and liar. The Boss says that's just so the Boss won't believe him when the new hire complains about Wally." }, { "date": "2007-10-11", "synopsis": "The Boss hires an unqualified crony to run the quality control group. He values loyalty over competence." }, { "date": "2007-10-12", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains the Boss's unqualified crony is causing rebellion among the staff. The Boss doesn't believe him." }, { "date": "2007-10-13", "synopsis": "Alice targets Keith for elimination. She'll start rumours to convince everyone he is dishonest and incompetent." }, { "date": "2007-10-14", "synopsis": "Asok found a clever way to write his code in an hour. The Boss now expects him to finish all his projects in an hour." }, { "date": "2007-10-15", "synopsis": "Keith complains to Catbert Alice is spreading false rumours about him. Catbert says the company doesn't worry about the difference between rumours and facts." }, { "date": "2007-10-16", "synopsis": "Dilbert can't get a raise but the Boss lets him have two flat screen monitors." }, { "date": "2007-10-17", "synopsis": "Tina complains Dilbert has two computer monitors but she only gets one. The Boss says yhat's because men are better negotiators." }, { "date": "2007-10-18", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to make changes to a document and run it by him again. Dilbert thinks he's entered an infinite loop." }, { "date": "2007-10-19", "synopsis": "Wally says he increased his productivity by improving his morale. He watched Youtube videos all day." }, { "date": "2007-10-20", "synopsis": "Dogbert the security consultant asks everyone to look out for suspicious behaviour. If they see someone do what they wouldn't do, they are to beat the person to death with a trash can." }, { "date": "2007-10-21", "synopsis": "Wally says he helped Alice finish her project on time. He did this by not insisting she get data for his project." }, { "date": "2007-10-22", "synopsis": "Dogbert the security consultant says anyone without a badge should be locked in a janitor's closet until he starves." }, { "date": "2007-10-23", "synopsis": "Dilbert says he can't do his work because the Internet is too fascinating." }, { "date": "2007-10-24", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells a psychologist he's addicted to the Internet. Direct human interaction is too shallow and predictable." }, { "date": "2007-10-25", "synopsis": "Catbert announces all sick days need to be scheduled in advance. Alice wonders how that's supposed to work." }, { "date": "2007-10-26", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders why decisions in the workplace seem to have been made by drunken lemurs. The garbageman responds decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent." }, { "date": "2007-10-27", "synopsis": "A co-worker wants to give Dilbert some advice. Dilbert wants to respond by rolling his eyes, sighing loudly and dismissing the advice." }, { "date": "2007-10-28", "synopsis": "Ratbert says he's happy his brain is empty. Stress is just another word for knowledge." }, { "date": "2007-10-29", "synopsis": "A co-worker wonders why Dilbert didn't use any of his suggestions. Dilbert says it's because his brain is the size of a marble." }, { "date": "2007-10-30", "synopsis": "Dogbert says all the scientists think the company's products harm the environment so recommends paying weasels to cast doubt on the data." }, { "date": "2007-10-31", "synopsis": "Dogbert goes to Rent-a-Weasel to hire unsuccessful scientists and lazy journalists to take the opposing view." }, { "date": "2007-11-01", "synopsis": "Ratbert says he's always wrong about everything. Dogbert advises him to shop because the customer is always right." }, { "date": "2007-11-02", "synopsis": "Ratbert tries to buy snow tires for a refrigerator in a lingerie shop." }, { "date": "2007-11-03", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to bring him solutions instead of problems." }, { "date": "2007-11-04", "synopsis": "Wally prevents Asok from talking directly with the VP of Sales. He must use the chain of command instead." }, { "date": "2007-11-05", "synopsis": "A sales rep says the quoted price includes everything. Dilbert asks about taxes, shipping, cables, upgrades, maintenance and insurance." }, { "date": "2007-11-06", "synopsis": "Alice suggests Dilbert check with Ted to see if he knows about that sort of thing." }, { "date": "2007-11-07", "synopsis": "The Boss says their new strategy has never worked for anyone before, so will give them the element of surprise." }, { "date": "2007-11-08", "synopsis": "Dilbert says he needs a bar code scanner to finished his lab tests. The Boss gives him many hurdles to clear before getting one." }, { "date": "2007-11-09", "synopsis": "The Boss asks when Dilbert can provide his status report for the project." }, { "date": "2007-11-10", "synopsis": "A new co-worker said everything was done better at his old company." }, { "date": "2007-11-11", "synopsis": "Tina asks Wally for comments on her article. Wally puts her off with excuses." }, { "date": "2007-11-12", "synopsis": "Asok must fill in at tech support for a few days. His job will be to slow the customer down." }, { "date": "2007-11-13", "synopsis": "The Boss doesn't understand anything Dilbert does, so assumes it's all useless." }, { "date": "2007-11-14", "synopsis": "Asok tries to develop a good attitude about his work, even busywork." }, { "date": "2007-11-15", "synopsis": "The Boss says they program their website using a fast guy in tights an a movie about coffee. Dilbert says it's flash and javascript." }, { "date": "2007-11-16", "synopsis": "Mordac believes security is more important than usability and in a perfect world, no one could use anything." }, { "date": "2007-11-17", "synopsis": "Mordac shows Dilbert the newest biometric scanner, a head clamp to make him scream." }, { "date": "2007-11-18", "synopsis": "Dilbert talks to students on career day. Engineers explain things to idiots. Then idiots misinterpret things engineers say." }, { "date": "2007-11-19", "synopsis": "Dogbert offers two alternatives. Lies for $400 per hour or the truth for $200." }, { "date": "2007-11-20", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to order pens. Carol says it's impossible because it takes a pen to fill in the form to order pens." }, { "date": "2007-11-21", "synopsis": "A co-worker says the backup server is overkill. Dilbert says the document says the opposite." }, { "date": "2007-11-22", "synopsis": "The company will become more family-friendly. And they'll be openly hostile to single people." }, { "date": "2007-11-23", "synopsis": "Carol wants to take advantage of the family friendly policy by looking after her kids." }, { "date": "2007-11-24", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a job candidate why they should hire a person who has lots of spelling errors on his resume." }, { "date": "2007-11-25", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to do something but doesn't have time to explain what it is properly." }, { "date": "2007-11-26", "synopsis": "The Boss says they'll try agile programming. No more planning or documentation. Just write code and complain." }, { "date": "2007-11-27", "synopsis": "The Boss says Tina's pay will be based on the number of pages she writes. So she says she'll produce a high volume of low quality pages." }, { "date": "2007-11-28", "synopsis": "Tina produces lots of writing. It was easier after she realised accuracy and clarity are optional." }, { "date": "2007-11-29", "synopsis": "Wally grows a goatee. He's using his powers of extreme uncoolness to make others' goatees go away." }, { "date": "2007-11-30", "synopsis": "Dogbert's tech support says he's never seen the caller's problem before, so he must be a liar or crazy." }, { "date": "2007-12-01", "synopsis": "The Boss says they're not to say they don't have enough resources. Instead, say their resources are dedicated to other, higher priorities." }, { "date": "2007-12-02", "synopsis": "Tina asks for a minute of Dilbert's time. He say no because it always takes longer than she says." }, { "date": "2007-12-03", "synopsis": "The next project is a private shuttle to the moon. If there are any mistakes, innocent tourists will die." }, { "date": "2007-12-04", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains to Dogbert he has to design a private moon shuttle in three months. Dogbert says he send over a scapegoat." }, { "date": "2007-12-05", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Asok to test pilot their new moon shuttle prototype. Asok suggests a monkey instead." }, { "date": "2007-12-06", "synopsis": "Asok gets into the moon shuttle prototype. His co-pilot is the grim reaper." }, { "date": "2007-12-07", "synopsis": "The Boss reports Asok died during the test of their new moon shuttle prototype." }, { "date": "2007-12-08", "synopsis": "Dilbert clones Asok from his DNA. The DNA gets mixed up with some candy." }, { "date": "2007-12-09", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert for an estimate. Dilbert says he hasn't had time to gather requirements. The Boss says he won't hold him to the estimate." }, { "date": "2007-12-10", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Asok he died in space and was cloned from some DNA. Now Asok has to reincarnate into his clone." }, { "date": "2007-12-11", "synopsis": "Asok compares stories with Carol. Asok died and reincarnated into his own clone, then did some shape shifting." }, { "date": "2007-12-12", "synopsis": "Carol asks Wally to not drink so much coffee. Then she won't have to order so much." }, { "date": "2007-12-13", "synopsis": "Mordac made some network changes and is on vacation for three weeks, out of touch." }, { "date": "2007-12-14", "synopsis": "Wally complained he couldn't work as everything he had to do needed something else done first. Like a mobius strip." }, { "date": "2007-12-15", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Wally why he's at her meeting. He says he's creating the illusion of work." }, { "date": "2007-12-16", "synopsis": "The Boss can't give Dilbert the maximum raise as he didn't exceed expectations. Dilbert said the expectations were set too high." }, { "date": "2007-12-17", "synopsis": "The Boss interviews a dead horse and asks if he can take a beating." }, { "date": "2007-12-18", "synopsis": "The Boss hired a dead horse and introduces him to the group. He says the horse can do good work if beaten enough." }, { "date": "2007-12-19", "synopsis": "The Boss can't tell Dilbert about the politics of his project, nor tell him about the new strategic direction or the upcoming reorg." }, { "date": "2007-12-20", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice to move to a cubicle closer to the rest of the department. Alice asks why." }, { "date": "2007-12-21", "synopsis": "Wally asks to skip the staff meeting because it will waste an hour of his life." }, { "date": "2007-12-22", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert what he's done to enhance their strategy into the next adjacency. Dilbert doesn't know what that means." }, { "date": "2007-12-23", "synopsis": "The Boss is off to the management retreat. He won't be reachable because he'll be too busy golfing, swimming and drinking. Carol is to count sheets of paper while he's gone." }, { "date": "2007-12-24", "synopsis": "Dilbert finished the useful part of his presentation and asks for questions from unqualified people." }, { "date": "2007-12-25", "synopsis": "The Boss moves Bruce to a different job because he's totally incompetent at his old job." }, { "date": "2007-12-26", "synopsis": "Wally did not finish his tasks because he thought other people wouldn't finish their tasks either." }, { "date": "2007-12-27", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains his new cubicle is too small. Catbert says he was spoiled before." }, { "date": "2007-12-28", "synopsis": "Alice submits her resignation. The Boss asks her to stay for a 20% raise. She accepts." }, { "date": "2007-12-29", "synopsis": "Ratbert wants to know what kind of party they're having for New Year's Eve. Dilbert says there's no sense in a party." }, { "date": "2007-12-30", "synopsis": "Alice is interviewed for a management job. She says she wants it because of money, prestige, abusing subordinates and she speaks fluent managerese." }, { "date": "2007-12-31", "synopsis": "Wally is upset because people stop working on the day before a holiday. He does it all year round." }, { "date": "2008-01-01", "synopsis": "Dilbert is happy he had a great day at work. No one interrupted and he got s lot done." }, { "date": "2008-01-02", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Tina he came into work on New Year's day because he forgot it was a holiday." }, { "date": "2008-01-03", "synopsis": "Wally didn't have time to finish the traffic estimates because he spent all week shopping on the company's online supply ordering site." }, { "date": "2008-01-04", "synopsis": "Wally doesn't want to attend a meeting on Friday morning because it's bagel Friday." }, { "date": "2008-01-05", "synopsis": "Asok is creeped out because he heard the Boss hired a mole." }, { "date": "2008-01-06", "synopsis": "Topper says he hasn't slept in a month, died went to heaven, returned as a zombie and more." }, { "date": "2008-01-07", "synopsis": "Ratbert, employee mole, reports what the people think of the Boss -- a worthless, self-important gas bag." }, { "date": "2008-01-08", "synopsis": "Ratbert announces he is the secret mole who will report all missteps to the Boss." }, { "date": "2008-01-09", "synopsis": "Asok is worried none of his projects relate to the company's priorities." }, { "date": "2008-01-10", "synopsis": "Tina is to make it look like the budget aligns to the company's priorities." }, { "date": "2008-01-11", "synopsis": "The Boss complains Dilbert's design will never work in the real world." }, { "date": "2008-01-12", "synopsis": "Asok asks Catbert what he can do to get a raise." }, { "date": "2008-01-13", "synopsis": "Dilbert is to help Ted on his project. Dilbert wonders what's in it for him." }, { "date": "2008-01-14", "synopsis": "The Boss takes Wally out of the loop because it's too hard to keep everyone informed." }, { "date": "2008-01-15", "synopsis": "Wally's new cubicle is a giant mushroom because he's out of the loop." }, { "date": "2008-01-16", "synopsis": "Asok wants to present his project to the board of directors." }, { "date": "2008-01-17", "synopsis": "Asok wonders who will present his project to the board of directors." }, { "date": "2008-01-18", "synopsis": "The CEO presents Asok's slides to the board of directors even though he doesn't understand them." }, { "date": "2008-01-19", "synopsis": "Asok learns the CEO didn't understand the slides Asok made." }, { "date": "2008-01-20", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Catbert he has a bad attitude because his project is failing and the Boss is no help." }, { "date": "2008-01-21", "synopsis": "Wally says he is an incubator of innovations." }, { "date": "2008-01-22", "synopsis": "Ratbert is assigned to configure the new software." }, { "date": "2008-01-23", "synopsis": "Ratbert tells Alice not to interfere while he configures the software." }, { "date": "2008-01-24", "synopsis": "Alice tells the Boss the new software is a disaster." }, { "date": "2008-01-25", "synopsis": "Wally says his new chair can be configured so many ways, it's probably configured wrong." }, { "date": "2008-01-26", "synopsis": "An Elbonian wants to be hired and will demean himself to the Boss." }, { "date": "2008-01-27", "synopsis": "Alice basks in the time between plans are made and someone thwarts them." }, { "date": "2008-01-28", "synopsis": "Alice gives the Boss an hour to make a difficult decision." }, { "date": "2008-01-29", "synopsis": "Dilbert pre-rejects a co-worker's idea." }, { "date": "2008-01-30", "synopsis": "Dogbert, financial planner, says a person could live to be 200 but most of the time will be in squalor." }, { "date": "2008-01-31", "synopsis": "Dogbert, financial planner, insults a client by saying investing is too complicated." }, { "date": "2008-02-01", "synopsis": "Dilbert says his hobby is to read obscure articles on the Internet." }, { "date": "2008-02-02", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Alice he can't give a large raise because his superiors will reduce it." }, { "date": "2008-02-03", "synopsis": "Dilbert says his work is hopeless." }, { "date": "2008-02-04", "synopsis": "Accounting rejects Dilbert's travel expenses." }, { "date": "2008-02-05", "synopsis": "Alice shows the Boss to her daughter and calls him inefficient." }, { "date": "2008-02-06", "synopsis": "A girl in the office says her career choices are prison guard or monkey trainer." }, { "date": "2008-02-07", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to ask a question to the Boss but knows he'll be interrupted." }, { "date": "2008-02-08", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks how can the Boss make a 5 year plan when 5 minutes is too much." }, { "date": "2008-02-09", "synopsis": "The competitors made the 5 year plan moot." }, { "date": "2008-02-10", "synopsis": "Dogbert analyses each employee for their career potential." }, { "date": "2008-02-11", "synopsis": "A security person recommends putting sensitive material into envelopes marked top secret." }, { "date": "2008-02-12", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to virtualise servers to save electricity." }, { "date": "2008-02-13", "synopsis": "The Boss hires Dogbert to help with the server virtualisation. Dogbert says he expects the employees to act as obstacles." }, { "date": "2008-02-14", "synopsis": "Dogbert outlines his plan for server virtualisation -- monkeys will unplug servers then hurl software at whatever is left." }, { "date": "2008-02-15", "synopsis": "Dogbert presents his bill for server virtualisation. It's a big bill but there are no trouble tickets." }, { "date": "2008-02-16", "synopsis": "Wally expects a talented employee to leave the company so wants to get whatever is left behind." }, { "date": "2008-02-17", "synopsis": "The Boss tries the tough love style of management." }, { "date": "2008-02-18", "synopsis": "Asok is warned not to get friendly with the new employee as his armpits are 66 inches high." }, { "date": "2008-02-19", "synopsis": "Asok seeks electric cubicle walls to prevent a co-worker from leaning on the walls." }, { "date": "2008-02-20", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Wally about a comic strip he posted that compares managers to drunken lemurs." }, { "date": "2008-02-21", "synopsis": "Catbert fires Wally for posting a comic strip that compares managers to drunken lemurs." }, { "date": "2008-02-22", "synopsis": "Wally says he's not bitter for being fired for posting a comic strip on the wall." }, { "date": "2008-02-23", "synopsis": "Dogbert interviews the Boss for firing an employee for posting a comic strip on the wall." }, { "date": "2008-02-24", "synopsis": "Dogbert gives advice to Dilbert when he goes to a singles mixer." }, { "date": "2008-02-25", "synopsis": "Wally's lawyer Bob slaps the Boss with a suit for firing him." }, { "date": "2008-02-26", "synopsis": "Bob the lawyer reports to Wally the Boss agreed to rehire him." }, { "date": "2008-02-27", "synopsis": "Each department that signs off on a proposal adds a brick to the wall of approval." }, { "date": "2008-02-28", "synopsis": "An IT rep does not like the fact the engineers are building an effigy of him out of coffee supplies." }, { "date": "2008-02-29", "synopsis": "Catbert writes requirements for a job opening, including an IQ of 300, two centuries of Unix experience and several Nobel prizes." }, { "date": "2008-03-01", "synopsis": "Catbert interviews a job applicant who meets all the impossible requirements he set out." }, { "date": "2008-03-02", "synopsis": "Dilbert offers his opinion of a co-worker's idea -- dumber than snake mittens." }, { "date": "2008-03-03", "synopsis": "The company is like a family where the culture is based on trust and respect, but employees must agree to drug tests and searches." }, { "date": "2008-03-04", "synopsis": "Wally asks Catbert for a new title containing the word \"architect.\"" }, { "date": "2008-03-05", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date says a piano fell on her brother. Dilbert laughs." }, { "date": "2008-03-06", "synopsis": "Carol sees the department payroll report. The Boss doesn't want anyone else to see it." }, { "date": "2008-03-07", "synopsis": "Ratbert advises Dilbert to renounce his Internet addiction and live for the moment." }, { "date": "2008-03-08", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces a new team leader named Jesus, pronounced Hay-soos." }, { "date": "2008-03-09", "synopsis": "Dilbert says the online budget approval system doesn't work." }, { "date": "2008-03-10", "synopsis": "Jesus the new employee gets rid of Wally's baldness." }, { "date": "2008-03-11", "synopsis": "Jesus the new employee recruits Asok for the new project." }, { "date": "2008-03-12", "synopsis": "Wally tells the CEO Jesus the new employee wants to be CEO." }, { "date": "2008-03-13", "synopsis": "Wally taunts Jesus, the new employee, after being fired." }, { "date": "2008-03-14", "synopsis": "Jesus returns to work as a consultant after being fired." }, { "date": "2008-03-15", "synopsis": "Tina wonders why Dilbert asked a question she answered last week." }, { "date": "2008-03-16", "synopsis": "Measure twice and cut once, the Boss says. Dilbert says that doesn't apply to most situations." }, { "date": "2008-03-17", "synopsis": "Dilbert opens the floor to soul-crushing negativity after presenting his plan." }, { "date": "2008-03-18", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Garbageman for advice on how to regain his soul." }, { "date": "2008-03-19", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells his date how he had his soul crushed by co-workers." }, { "date": "2008-03-20", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to help other people to regain his lost soul." }, { "date": "2008-03-21", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Catbert if there is a company program to regain his lost soul." }, { "date": "2008-03-22", "synopsis": "Tina offers to help Dilbert regrow his head Catbert had slapped off." }, { "date": "2008-03-23", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks his doctor for a note saying he was sick." }, { "date": "2008-03-24", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to leave a document for Carol in a place that won't get lost in the desk clutter." }, { "date": "2008-03-25", "synopsis": "Dogbert the archaeologist tries to find a budget report in Carol's cluttered desk." }, { "date": "2008-03-26", "synopsis": "Dilbert is late to a meeting, but says it's not his fault." }, { "date": "2008-03-27", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells his date his cable wasn't working last night so didn't have TV or Internet." }, { "date": "2008-03-28", "synopsis": "Dilbert lets the Boss say what the next step is so he can maintain the illusion of value." }, { "date": "2008-03-29", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Catbert if he is as predictable as Dilbert says." }, { "date": "2008-03-30", "synopsis": "Dilbert says the security audit locked all the developers out of the system. The Boss is no help." }, { "date": "2008-03-31", "synopsis": "There will be no raises because all the money was put toward a new coffee maker." }, { "date": "2008-04-01", "synopsis": "Wally meets the new coffee maker. It's aggressive." }, { "date": "2008-04-02", "synopsis": "Alice interviews a job candidate. He left his previous job because he punched his boss." }, { "date": "2008-04-03", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Alice if she needs any help on her project." }, { "date": "2008-04-04", "synopsis": "Mordac asks how the system distinguishes between authorised and illegal access." }, { "date": "2008-04-05", "synopsis": "Alice represents the Boss in a meeting, then acts stupid." }, { "date": "2008-04-06", "synopsis": "Wally complains he couldn't work because the Boss didn't answer the 25 questions he asked." }, { "date": "2008-04-07", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Wally if he has the capital cost estimates that were requested last week." }, { "date": "2008-04-08", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Ted he's fired, then says not really but now a 2% raise isn't so bad." }, { "date": "2008-04-09", "synopsis": "A young person tells Dilbert he will rule the planet based on his knowledge of MySpace, Youtube and e-mail." }, { "date": "2008-04-10", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert if he made the requested changes." }, { "date": "2008-04-11", "synopsis": "Wally advises Asok to not finish projects ahead of the deadline." }, { "date": "2008-04-12", "synopsis": "The Boss asks a temp to find power cables in the flooded parking lot." }, { "date": "2008-04-13", "synopsis": "Alice and a co-worker discuss the best way to work together -- an exchange of ideas, or Alice mocking and abusing him." }, { "date": "2008-04-14", "synopsis": "Loud Howard is moved to a private office because he insists on using a speakerphone in his cubicle." }, { "date": "2008-04-15", "synopsis": "The Boss schedules a daily five-minute meeting to solve problems and share successes." }, { "date": "2008-04-16", "synopsis": "At a team huddle, no one has a successes to share." }, { "date": "2008-04-17", "synopsis": "Alice is jealous of Dilbert having two flat-screen monitors in his cubicle." }, { "date": "2008-04-18", "synopsis": "The Boss wants the engineers to have the same emotional investment in the company as they have with their families." }, { "date": "2008-04-19", "synopsis": "Marketing is proud sales have increased by 100%." }, { "date": "2008-04-20", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains to the Boss no one wants to be left out of the decision making but no one wants to make a decision." }, { "date": "2008-04-21", "synopsis": "Asok uses his telekinesis to neutralise the power of the stink eye." }, { "date": "2008-04-22", "synopsis": "Asok get summoned to the Indian Institute of Technology to explain his use of telekinesis." }, { "date": "2008-04-23", "synopsis": "Asok is punished for his use of telekinesis." }, { "date": "2008-04-24", "synopsis": "The Boss announces strategic alternatives, which means the company is for sale." }, { "date": "2008-04-25", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces the new strategic partner, an alien who eats Ted." }, { "date": "2008-04-26", "synopsis": "Dilbert is assigned to handle due diligence for the alliance with the Galactic Protein Corporation." }, { "date": "2008-04-27", "synopsis": "The Boss takes credit for an idea the engineers came up with. The CEO is undecided as to whether it's a good idea." }, { "date": "2008-04-28", "synopsis": "Dilbert recommends against a merger with the alien corporation." }, { "date": "2008-04-29", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for help from Dogbert's Deus Ex Machina Services for getting out of the merger." }, { "date": "2008-04-30", "synopsis": "Dogbert recommends a poison pill to get out of the unfriendly takeover." }, { "date": "2008-05-01", "synopsis": "Dogbert searches for a new CEO to replace the one who died during the hostile takeover." }, { "date": "2008-05-02", "synopsis": "The Boss announces researchers have found a way to turn fresh water into fuel." }, { "date": "2008-05-03", "synopsis": "Dilbert meets his new project team member who has the stink of failure." }, { "date": "2008-05-04", "synopsis": "Dilbert leads a project but can't check the others' work even though they do bad work." }, { "date": "2008-05-05", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a co-worker for help but he now carries the scent of failure." }, { "date": "2008-05-06", "synopsis": "The Garbageman tells how to get rid of the scent of failure." }, { "date": "2008-05-07", "synopsis": "Dilbert says all the databases are wrong, so can't size the market." }, { "date": "2008-05-08", "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't have accurate numbers so he makes them up." }, { "date": "2008-05-09", "synopsis": "The company invests a billion dollars based on Dilbert's made up numbers." }, { "date": "2008-05-10", "synopsis": "The quality control budget is cut to allow for a larger sales force." }, { "date": "2008-05-11", "synopsis": "A co-worker complains she can't open the attachment Wally sent. Wally offers lots of excuses." }, { "date": "2008-05-12", "synopsis": "Asok adds photocopying to his duties." }, { "date": "2008-05-13", "synopsis": "Asok tries to delegate the photocopying assignment to Carol." }, { "date": "2008-05-14", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Asok where are his photocopies." }, { "date": "2008-05-15", "synopsis": "Dilbert, Alice and Asok were all assigned the same task a month ago." }, { "date": "2008-05-16", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for the approved vendor list. Alice and Asok already asked for it." }, { "date": "2008-05-17", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells a stranger he is one of three people assigned to do a task because they're all unreliable." }, { "date": "2008-05-18", "synopsis": "The Boss says Alice's intolerance for others is the reason he can't give her the maximum raise." }, { "date": "2008-05-19", "synopsis": "Dilbert worked all night to finish the assignment on time. The Boss says to toss it on the pile." }, { "date": "2008-05-20", "synopsis": "A co-worker wants to date Dilbert for a month, long enough to resolve some tech issues at home." }, { "date": "2008-05-21", "synopsis": "Dilbert's girlfriend wants him to wear a toolbelt when he come over tonight." }, { "date": "2008-05-22", "synopsis": "After Dilbert fixed her satellite connection, Dilbert's date asks him to leave." }, { "date": "2008-05-23", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Dogbert he is dating a girl because she wants free tech support." }, { "date": "2008-05-24", "synopsis": "Dilbert needs a new computer but there's no budget for one." }, { "date": "2008-05-25", "synopsis": "Dilbert goes to Human Resources for a psychological evaluation. Catbert asks how many bodies are hidden in his crawl space." }, { "date": "2008-05-26", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks to use the Boss's laptop until there's budget to get him a new computer." }, { "date": "2008-05-27", "synopsis": "Dilbert says he didn't work on the request this week because his computer is broken." }, { "date": "2008-05-28", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to smuggle in his home laptop into work to replace his broken computer." }, { "date": "2008-05-29", "synopsis": "Catbert asks a job applicant to role play like an unqualified loser." }, { "date": "2008-05-30", "synopsis": "Catbert asks a job applicant to role play like a turtle being attacked by a hawk." }, { "date": "2008-05-31", "synopsis": "Wally is busy reading the In Memoriam section of the company newsletter." }, { "date": "2008-06-01", "synopsis": "Dilbert won't get a raise this year because his project is late even though it's not his fault." }, { "date": "2008-06-02", "synopsis": "Wally blames his lack of productivity on dead people and those who never existed." }, { "date": "2008-06-03", "synopsis": "Wally is enrolled in a class to cure hopelessness, along with a glass hammer and a bag of nothing." }, { "date": "2008-06-04", "synopsis": "Wally learns to carry two coffee cups in his class to be less useless." }, { "date": "2008-06-05", "synopsis": "Wally is not as useless has he used to be, now he is more helpless." }, { "date": "2008-06-06", "synopsis": "Dilbert summarises a technical report on a complicated slide." }, { "date": "2008-06-07", "synopsis": "Dilbert's recommendation to cancel all design projects was accepted by the executive steering committee." }, { "date": "2008-06-08", "synopsis": "Dogbert produces a reality show about Dilbert's life." }, { "date": "2008-06-09", "synopsis": "The Boss assumes Asok didn't do any work because he never raised any issues." }, { "date": "2008-06-10", "synopsis": "The company decides to write off bad debt. The CEO blames it on bad regulatory oversight." }, { "date": "2008-06-11", "synopsis": "Dogbert gives advice to the CEO on media relations. Don't compare to circling the drain." }, { "date": "2008-06-12", "synopsis": "Dogbert and the CEO do a mock interview to see how he responds under pressure." }, { "date": "2008-06-13", "synopsis": "The Boss demands an interest-free loan from a tiny vendor." }, { "date": "2008-06-14", "synopsis": "A tiny company complains they can't survive if their invoices are paid late." }, { "date": "2008-06-15", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Ted a funny story about trying to print a long document." }, { "date": "2008-06-16", "synopsis": "Catbert decides to gossipsize Ted by telling vicious lies until Ted decides to quit." }, { "date": "2008-06-17", "synopsis": "Carol heard Ted thinks a monkey could do her job." }, { "date": "2008-06-18", "synopsis": "Ted asks for Dogbert's help to squash rumours about himself." }, { "date": "2008-06-19", "synopsis": "Dogbert tries to control rumours about Ted by telling new ones." }, { "date": "2008-06-20", "synopsis": "Catbert announces surveillance cameras to monitor the engineers' work." }, { "date": "2008-06-21", "synopsis": "The engineers, besides having their actions monitored, now get their thoughts monitored as well." }, { "date": "2008-06-22", "synopsis": "Wally says he won't retire, just keep his job and stop caring about his work." }, { "date": "2008-06-23", "synopsis": "The Boss is off for two weeks of vacation. The engineers celebrate." }, { "date": "2008-06-24", "synopsis": "Dilbert is in charge while the Boss is on vacation. He asks Carol to format a report." }, { "date": "2008-06-25", "synopsis": "Dilbert expects everyone to be professional and productive while he's filling in for the vacationing Boss." }, { "date": "2008-06-26", "synopsis": "Carol tells the Boss everything is fine while he's on vacation." }, { "date": "2008-06-27", "synopsis": "Dilbert needs to attend a meeting while the Boss is on vacation. He'll be bullied into making bad decisions." }, { "date": "2008-06-28", "synopsis": "Dilbert is asked to take a budget cut while he's filling in for the Boss." }, { "date": "2008-06-29", "synopsis": "The company will spend the bonus money on an inspirational movie about being happy about no money." }, { "date": "2008-06-30", "synopsis": "Dilbert tests his particle accelerator to look for the antiworld." }, { "date": "2008-07-01", "synopsis": "Dilbert's double from the antiworld can't leave the vacuum." }, { "date": "2008-07-02", "synopsis": "Dilbert brings the antimatter Dilbert to work." }, { "date": "2008-07-03", "synopsis": "Anti-Dilbert tells Wally about his double -- a billionaire, entrepreneur and adventurer." }, { "date": "2008-07-04", "synopsis": "Alice destroys Anti-Dilbert's matterscreen and causes him to be destroyed." }, { "date": "2008-07-05", "synopsis": "Alice tells Dilbert she destroyed his antimatter duplicate." }, { "date": "2008-07-06", "synopsis": "Dilbert invites a female co-worker for a drink after work." }, { "date": "2008-07-07", "synopsis": "Alice hasn't made any code changes because the specs are vague." }, { "date": "2008-07-08", "synopsis": "Dogbert's seminar on time management and evolution -- skip unimportant tasks." }, { "date": "2008-07-09", "synopsis": "Don't put time into tasks that have no benefit, Dogbert the time management expert says." }, { "date": "2008-07-10", "synopsis": "Dogbert, the time management expert, says it doesn't matter what this employee does with his time." }, { "date": "2008-07-11", "synopsis": "Dilbert's salary is already above the midpoint for his pay range." }, { "date": "2008-07-12", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to take classes in business so he can get promoted to management." }, { "date": "2008-07-13", "synopsis": "Wally demonstrates to Asok he doesn't have to keep up with changes in technology." }, { "date": "2008-07-14", "synopsis": "After being hit with a rock, Dilbert wakes up more qualified to be a natural leader." }, { "date": "2008-07-15", "synopsis": "The Boss realises Dilbert is the one the prophesies talk about -- the natural." }, { "date": "2008-07-16", "synopsis": "Catbert tests Dilbert to make sure his moral compass is broken." }, { "date": "2008-07-17", "synopsis": "Dilbert throws his coffee on a co-worker because he's being groomed for upper management." }, { "date": "2008-07-18", "synopsis": "Dilbert is promoted to vice president of making employees feel miserable and helpless." }, { "date": "2008-07-19", "synopsis": "Dilbert makes Asok feel miserable and helpless by showing him a chart of the sort of women who are attracted to men at different salary ranges." }, { "date": "2008-07-20", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains why he didn't accomplish any objectives this quarter -- they are impossible or illegal." }, { "date": "2008-07-21", "synopsis": "Dilbert's moral compass has healed. He wants to keep his job in upper management." }, { "date": "2008-07-22", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to bring charges against the CEO for flinging him out a window." }, { "date": "2008-07-23", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date wants him to give her a back rub, even though he has two injured hands." }, { "date": "2008-07-24", "synopsis": "Dilbert is injured and wants sympathy from Dogbert." }, { "date": "2008-07-25", "synopsis": "Dilbert seeks a support group of people who were thrown out a window by a CEO." }, { "date": "2008-07-26", "synopsis": "Bob the lawyer serves legal papers to Dilbert's CEO." }, { "date": "2008-07-27", "synopsis": "The Boss says Asok will have to act independently on his project and imagine what the Boss would say." }, { "date": "2008-07-28", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Dogbert to represent him in his lawsuit against his CEO." }, { "date": "2008-07-29", "synopsis": "Dogbert selects dumb people for the jury." }, { "date": "2008-07-30", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks the first question to the CEO in the trial. Where was he when Dilbert was pushed out a window?" }, { "date": "2008-07-31", "synopsis": "The jury finds in favour of Dilbert in his suit against the CEO." }, { "date": "2008-08-01", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks for all of the jury award as his payment for winning the lawsuit." }, { "date": "2008-08-02", "synopsis": "Dilbert returns to his job and finds out he has a new cubicle." }, { "date": "2008-08-03", "synopsis": "Ted's position is eliminated. Ted complains his performance reviews have always been good." }, { "date": "2008-08-04", "synopsis": "Wally wants a raise or else he'll eat unhealthy food and avoid exercise." }, { "date": "2008-08-05", "synopsis": "Catbert says wellness programs pay off eventually but aren't good in the short term." }, { "date": "2008-08-06", "synopsis": "Catbert is concerned about job performance but won't supply an ergonomically correct chair." }, { "date": "2008-08-07", "synopsis": "Dogbert the financial baker is asked to cook the company books." }, { "date": "2008-08-08", "synopsis": "Dogbert cooks the books by assuming the pension plan will earn 15% per year." }, { "date": "2008-08-09", "synopsis": "Wally said he didn't have time to install critical updates and couldn't connect his computer to the Internet without the critical updates." }, { "date": "2008-08-10", "synopsis": "Dilbert is to get input from Allen, an amorphous cloud of gas." }, { "date": "2008-08-11", "synopsis": "The Boss is puzzled because his smartest employees keep disagreeing with him." }, { "date": "2008-08-12", "synopsis": "Alice is addicted to the online job posting system." }, { "date": "2008-08-13", "synopsis": "Alice talks to s psychiatrist about her addiction to looking at online job postings." }, { "date": "2008-08-14", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for a high-level view. Dilbert compares the situation like a bunch of termites eating a log." }, { "date": "2008-08-15", "synopsis": "The Boss says he never has enough information to make decisions, but is a good judge of character." }, { "date": "2008-08-16", "synopsis": "Dress code is relaxed to include shorts because the company uses less air conditioning to save money." }, { "date": "2008-08-17", "synopsis": "The Boss treats Dilbert as an idiot and explains obvious things." }, { "date": "2008-08-18", "synopsis": "The company is reevaluating their dress code that allows shorts, and covers Dilbert with a tarp." }, { "date": "2008-08-19", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to find a photogenic hobo because the company wants to improve its image." }, { "date": "2008-08-20", "synopsis": "Dilbert meets with hobos to figure out to which one to give money." }, { "date": "2008-08-21", "synopsis": "Charitable giving by the company sparked a hobo riot." }, { "date": "2008-08-22", "synopsis": "Wally fits an entire presentation on one powerpoint slide. The entire slide is black." }, { "date": "2008-08-23", "synopsis": "Dilbert reports his laptop was stolen by Elbonian spies." }, { "date": "2008-08-24", "synopsis": "Asok signs up for a seminar on how to make a million dollars. The others insist it is a scam." }, { "date": "2008-08-25", "synopsis": "Elbonians look through the laptop stolen from Dilbert." }, { "date": "2008-08-26", "synopsis": "Wally reads a magazine about sitting. He wonders why they have an article on leaning." }, { "date": "2008-08-27", "synopsis": "Wally reports he spent the week focused on ergonomics and kept his guts moist." }, { "date": "2008-08-28", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a company lawyer to turn a simple agreement into gibberish." }, { "date": "2008-08-29", "synopsis": "The company lawyer finishes a contact started during the Miocene era." }, { "date": "2008-08-30", "synopsis": "Alice says they should do something special for Shelly's birthday." }, { "date": "2008-08-31", "synopsis": "The Boss stops Wally from leaving work early." }, { "date": "2008-09-01", "synopsis": "The Boss asks a prospective employee if he will deliver bad news." }, { "date": "2008-09-02", "synopsis": "Instead of a raise, the Boss threatens Alice with a bad reference." }, { "date": "2008-09-03", "synopsis": "The Boss says they will adopt best practises, just like everyone else in the industry." }, { "date": "2008-09-04", "synopsis": "A ghost of a former employee introduces himself to Alice. The ghost used to do Alice's function." }, { "date": "2008-09-05", "synopsis": "A helpful ghost makes Alice look bad by comparison." }, { "date": "2008-09-06", "synopsis": "Catbert introduces a mandatory stretch period for the employees." }, { "date": "2008-09-07", "synopsis": "The Boss rejects a proposal from Dilbert because he needs to do his job to the max." }, { "date": "2008-09-08", "synopsis": "Ted got promoted so a collection is made to buy him a cake." }, { "date": "2008-09-09", "synopsis": "The Boss negotiated a deal for an ERP system but Dilbert points out some problems." }, { "date": "2008-09-10", "synopsis": "The Boss says their ERP system doesn't have the required software and suggests Asok write the software in his spare time." }, { "date": "2008-09-11", "synopsis": "Asok uses his forbidden powers to grow a third arm for a few hours." }, { "date": "2008-09-12", "synopsis": "Asok completes a project that would normally require ten people and instantly regrets it." }, { "date": "2008-09-13", "synopsis": "Dilbert's Mom gets a curse of competence put on to her firstborn by a fortune teller." }, { "date": "2008-09-14", "synopsis": "The new cell phone product has some bad effects on the users and turns them into toilet plungers." }, { "date": "2008-09-15", "synopsis": "Inflation rises to a billion percent in Elbonia." }, { "date": "2008-09-16", "synopsis": "An Elbonian tries to buy water with inflation raging at a billion percent daily." }, { "date": "2008-09-17", "synopsis": "Tina complains about a co-worker to Dilbert. The co-worker acted like Tina had no right to her opinion." }, { "date": "2008-09-18", "synopsis": "Ted's head explodes when the Boss asks him to do more.", "note": "This strip is almost identical to one published on 2007-05-25." }, { "date": "2008-09-19", "synopsis": "Tina asks Wally to eat more quietly." }, { "date": "2008-09-20", "synopsis": "The office is out of coffee so Dilbert asks the Boss for some unnecessary stress to compensate." }, { "date": "2008-09-21", "synopsis": "Employee introduce themselves and say who they work for. Dilbert gets lots of sympathy." }, { "date": "2008-09-22", "synopsis": "Dogbert, on tech support, refers a complaint about himself to his supervisor." }, { "date": "2008-09-23", "synopsis": "A tech support caller complains Dogbert closed his ticket without fixing the problem." }, { "date": "2008-09-24", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Andy, the new Director of Green." }, { "date": "2008-09-25", "synopsis": "The Director of Green asks Dilbert to turn off his computer when he's thinking." }, { "date": "2008-09-26", "synopsis": "The Director of Green wants to redesign the product packaging by not using endangered animals." }, { "date": "2008-09-27", "synopsis": "The company has been pumping toxic waste into the water supply for years. A mutated alligator has now destroyed a competitor's factory." }, { "date": "2008-09-28", "synopsis": "A customer wants to ask Dilbert a quick question. Dilbert says he'll get in trouble for answering." }, { "date": "2008-09-29", "synopsis": "An Elbonian company bought the engineers' company. The Elbonians promise no discrimination." }, { "date": "2008-09-30", "synopsis": "An Elbonian promises no discrimination in the company even though their beliefs put non-Elbonians at the same level as livestock." }, { "date": "2008-10-01", "synopsis": "The new cow supervisor says she overcame bias to get the job." }, { "date": "2008-10-02", "synopsis": "The new cow supervisor asks to be thought of as a bovine overlord and usurper of the employees' position in the food chain." }, { "date": "2008-10-03", "synopsis": "Wally dresses as an Elbonian to help his career." }, { "date": "2008-10-04", "synopsis": "Wally is the new VP of Finance. An accounting troll says it transferred a large amount of money to an offshore bank." }, { "date": "2008-10-05", "synopsis": "Dogbert has been hired to identify the company's most important goals." }, { "date": "2008-10-06", "synopsis": "The Elbonians consider an offer to buy the company for nine dollars." }, { "date": "2008-10-07", "synopsis": "The office is bare since a corporate raider bought the company and sold off all the assets." }, { "date": "2008-10-08", "synopsis": "Dogbert addresses rumours he sold the employees' brains and spirits." }, { "date": "2008-10-09", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells a venture capitalist they're going into the solar panel business." }, { "date": "2008-10-10", "synopsis": "The Boss wants Dilbert to show his solar panels to investors. Dilbert didn't invent any." }, { "date": "2008-10-11", "synopsis": "Investors complain to Dogbert there are no solar panels." }, { "date": "2008-10-12", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss for permission to talk to a potential customer." }, { "date": "2008-10-13", "synopsis": "Dogbert the CEO brags to an employee his salary is 400 times more than hers." }, { "date": "2008-10-14", "synopsis": "Dogbert the CEO brags to an employee his salary is 420 times more than his." }, { "date": "2008-10-15", "synopsis": "Dogbert the CEO bought a helicopter to keep birds off the building." }, { "date": "2008-10-16", "synopsis": "Dogbert the CEO plans to start some false rumours to get the stock to rise and then exercise his stock options." }, { "date": "2008-10-17", "synopsis": "Dogbert is stepping down as CEO. He asks the engineers to carry his cash to his helicopter." }, { "date": "2008-10-18", "synopsis": "Dogbert the philanthropist describes how he inspires the poor by showing them his opulent lifestyle." }, { "date": "2008-10-19", "synopsis": "An idea squirrel steals Asok's idea. Asok tries to prevent it from presenting it to the Boss." }, { "date": "2008-10-20", "synopsis": "A co-worker brags to Alice about his phone. Alice smashes it with a hammer." }, { "date": "2008-10-21", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for a logo for the new prototype." }, { "date": "2008-10-22", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains the graphics department is too busy to design a logo for the new product." }, { "date": "2008-10-23", "synopsis": "Dilbert presents the new logo designed by the graphics department in a hurry." }, { "date": "2008-10-24", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets feedback on his new project. The graphics quality casts a dark shadow." }, { "date": "2008-10-25", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Wally for comments on the new business plan. Wally gives his opinion without reading the plan." }, { "date": "2008-10-26", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows his new invention to Dogbert. It's a carbicle -- part car and part cubicle." }, { "date": "2008-10-27", "synopsis": "The Boss removes all funding from Dilbert's project because it isn't sexy." }, { "date": "2008-10-28", "synopsis": "A co-worker says they need a plan to make a plan." }, { "date": "2008-10-29", "synopsis": "Wally says he is a winner who knows how to set realistic goals, not a loser who achieves nothing." }, { "date": "2008-10-30", "synopsis": "Ted can keep his job if he's willing to commute an extra 50 miles each way." }, { "date": "2008-10-31", "synopsis": "Dilbert comes to a meeting in a costume as Wally said everyone would be." }, { "date": "2008-11-01", "synopsis": "The Boss says change is good. Dilbert wonders why most startups fail." }, { "date": "2008-11-02", "synopsis": "Wally brings a fish into the office to microwave. Carol complains it will smell too much." }, { "date": "2008-11-03", "synopsis": "The Boss hires a person because he is tall." }, { "date": "2008-11-04", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for the root cause of the project's failure. Dilbert says it started with the origin of the universe." }, { "date": "2008-11-05", "synopsis": "A man arrives for an interview in a room called \"where hope goes to die.\"" }, { "date": "2008-11-06", "synopsis": "Catbert senses desperation in a job applicant." }, { "date": "2008-11-07", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date buys him a shirt after only one date and Dilbert is creeped out." }, { "date": "2008-11-08", "synopsis": "The CEO describes the new business plan -- beg for a government bailout." }, { "date": "2008-11-09", "synopsis": "The usual project arc is described, from unwarranted optimism to an undesirable project." }, { "date": "2008-11-10", "synopsis": "The spam filter has become self-aware, and manages the company by deciding which messages to allow through." }, { "date": "2008-11-11", "synopsis": "The self-aware spam filter has rewritten the business plan." }, { "date": "2008-11-12", "synopsis": "The self-aware spam filter orders killer robots." }, { "date": "2008-11-13", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains their robots have turned murderous." }, { "date": "2008-11-14", "synopsis": "Dogbert takes care of the murderous robots." }, { "date": "2008-11-15", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date hears a story about the murderous robots at Dilbert's company." }, { "date": "2008-11-16", "synopsis": "Wally describes his system of avoiding assignments to Asok." }, { "date": "2008-11-17", "synopsis": "The new dress code requires company shirts on casual Fridays." }, { "date": "2008-11-18", "synopsis": "The Boss complains he doesn't have everyone's full attention at a meeting." }, { "date": "2008-11-19", "synopsis": "Catbert bans all laptops from meetings." }, { "date": "2008-11-20", "synopsis": "The Internet calls to Dilbert and shows him cool new gadgets." }, { "date": "2008-11-21", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks his doctor to give everyone else a pill to make them more interesting." }, { "date": "2008-11-22", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date says the conversation is boring and suggests they use their cell phones to surf instead." }, { "date": "2008-11-23", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for a deployment timeline. Ted is the only one who knows anything about that and he's on vacation." }, { "date": "2008-11-24", "synopsis": "The Boss says in bacon and eggs, the chicken contributed and the pig was committed." }, { "date": "2008-11-25", "synopsis": "Dilbert is waiting for Alice to arrive and says she has poor time management skills." }, { "date": "2008-11-26", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains to Catbert Alice beat him up." }, { "date": "2008-11-27", "synopsis": "An accounting troll says drastic budget cuts are required." }, { "date": "2008-11-28", "synopsis": "The Boss admits things look bleak after the budget cuts." }, { "date": "2008-11-29", "synopsis": "After budget cuts, the Boss says things will turn around." }, { "date": "2008-11-30", "synopsis": "The Boss doesn't understand a word of Dilbert's report so stalls for time." }, { "date": "2008-12-01", "synopsis": "The company is rescued by a new investor from Columbia." }, { "date": "2008-12-02", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol to return conference room chairs to the conference room." }, { "date": "2008-12-03", "synopsis": "The Boss divides the bill for the employee appreciation lunch." }, { "date": "2008-12-04", "synopsis": "Asok asks if the Boss would like to hear a great idea." }, { "date": "2008-12-05", "synopsis": "The Boss brings a canary to the meeting to warn when it gets too boring." }, { "date": "2008-12-06", "synopsis": "The Boss asks everyone to be twice as smart to survive the economy." }, { "date": "2008-12-07", "synopsis": "The Boss discovers a logged-in workstation and sets out to teach the person a lesson." }, { "date": "2008-12-08", "synopsis": "Dogbert's tech support remotely controls a computer to snoop and steal." }, { "date": "2008-12-09", "synopsis": "A service person tells Dilbert he'll receive a survey about his satisfaction with the service." }, { "date": "2008-12-10", "synopsis": "The engineers hear the results of a product opinion survey from people who still have landline phones and no caller ID." }, { "date": "2008-12-11", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to put Dilbert's new computer in an empty office so visitors don't think the company is in financial trouble." }, { "date": "2008-12-12", "synopsis": "A CEO announces the company will pretend to be solvent." }, { "date": "2008-12-13", "synopsis": "Dogbert advises the company invest in diseased livestock." }, { "date": "2008-12-14", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a co-worker, who automatically disagrees with everyone, to look at a terrible idea." }, { "date": "2008-12-15", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to be in charge of the legacy systems." }, { "date": "2008-12-16", "synopsis": "Dilbert worries being in charge of the legacy systems will make him appear less valuable." }, { "date": "2008-12-17", "synopsis": "Dilbert, in charge of legacy systems, has to dress as a troll and his job includes scaring vendors." }, { "date": "2008-12-18", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells the Garbageman he's in charge of the legacy systems." }, { "date": "2008-12-19", "synopsis": "Dilbert is promoted to scapegoat." }, { "date": "2008-12-20", "synopsis": "The Boss asks the scapegoat to accompany him to a meeting with his boss." }, { "date": "2008-12-21", "synopsis": "Catbert hears a proposal from an HR consultant to transform human resources." }, { "date": "2008-12-22", "synopsis": "Dilbert wears his scapegoat costume on a date." }, { "date": "2008-12-23", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells his dream about wearing a goat costume to Topper." }, { "date": "2008-12-24", "synopsis": "Tina has exceeded her allocation for IT support so is reassigned to an agrarian society." }, { "date": "2008-12-25", "synopsis": "Ratbert presents his gift to Dilbert -- garbage from Dilbert's garbage can." }, { "date": "2008-12-26", "synopsis": "Carol is asked to book an executive retreat so they can figure out who will be downsized." }, { "date": "2008-12-27", "synopsis": "Carol tells Dilbert the Boss is away at an executive retreat." }, { "date": "2008-12-28", "synopsis": "Asok tries to talk with the VP of engineering, but the VP can't hear him." }, { "date": "2008-12-29", "synopsis": "The Boss complains to Carol the offsite meeting wasn't a hotel but the foyer to hell." }, { "date": "2008-12-30", "synopsis": "The Boss says he has a secret insulting nickname for everyone." }, { "date": "2008-12-31", "synopsis": "Ted is downsized. Ted insults the Boss." }, { "date": "2009-01-01", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Asok to check his spam folder as Asok had been downsized last week." }, { "date": "2009-01-02", "synopsis": "Asok asks Wally for advice on how to handle his first recession." }, { "date": "2009-01-03", "synopsis": "Topper describes his Crimean experience to Asok." }, { "date": "2009-01-04", "synopsis": "A hot woman asks Wally to sign a corporate code of conduct." }, { "date": "2009-01-05", "synopsis": "Carol complains the office is freezing, but Dilbert is able to generate enough heat for himself." }, { "date": "2009-01-06", "synopsis": "Carol asks Wally why he doesn't feel the cold." }, { "date": "2009-01-07", "synopsis": "A new law forces all customers to upgrade, brags a mediocre salesman wearing a hat made of money." }, { "date": "2009-01-08", "synopsis": "A lucky salesman wearing a hat made of money asks Dilbert to program a navigation system for his boat." }, { "date": "2009-01-09", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol to send an e-mail to the department with his leadership thought of the day. She gets to make one up." }, { "date": "2009-01-10", "synopsis": "The aerospace division is shutting down, the Boss announces." }, { "date": "2009-01-11", "synopsis": "The Boss complains Wally has accomplished nothing this quarter. Wally counters he had a billion dollar cost saving idea." }, { "date": "2009-01-12", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert there's not enough money for his project, but he doesn't want to downsize Dilbert." }, { "date": "2009-01-13", "synopsis": "An office acting coach shows Dilbert \"the overworked headcount.\"" }, { "date": "2009-01-14", "synopsis": "Dilbert is tense because the company is downsizing and he has no project." }, { "date": "2009-01-15", "synopsis": "Dilbert comes up with a good idea for Ted's project so it makes Ted's work for the past year a miserable mistake." }, { "date": "2009-01-16", "synopsis": "Dilbert continues to offer ideas for others people's projects, but others don't want to hear them." }, { "date": "2009-01-17", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Asok if he can help with the project. Asok refuses." }, { "date": "2009-01-18", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders why another person is watering a plastic plant in the office." }, { "date": "2009-01-19", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells a girl at a party he created a business called dilbertfiles.com." }, { "date": "2009-01-20", "synopsis": "Dilbert talks with the world's worst venture capitalist about his new web site." }, { "date": "2009-01-21", "synopsis": "Dilbert feels good about his new side business, dilbertfiles.com." }, { "date": "2009-01-22", "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't care he was fired for starting his own business on company time." }, { "date": "2009-01-23", "synopsis": "A company lawyer tells Dilbert he will have to pay a royalty to use his own name." }, { "date": "2009-01-24", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells a girl his company owns his name and has to pay five dollars to introduce himself." }, { "date": "2009-01-25", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to win one of those \"Best Places to Work\" awards, and asks for suggestions how." }, { "date": "2009-01-26", "synopsis": "Dilbert has investments to tide him over his unemployment." }, { "date": "2009-01-27", "synopsis": "Dilbert can't afford to pay his mortgage." }, { "date": "2009-01-28", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks Dilbert what is the worst part of being unemployed." }, { "date": "2009-01-29", "synopsis": "Dilbert is desperate at a job interview." }, { "date": "2009-01-30", "synopsis": "Dogbert buys a company that fired Dilbert because its stock fell to a penny a share." }, { "date": "2009-01-31", "synopsis": "Dogbert, new owner of Dilbert's former company, wants to interview Dilbert for his old job." }, { "date": "2009-02-01", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Asok to post some positive customer reviews to the company's web site." }, { "date": "2009-02-02", "synopsis": "Dogbert interviews Dilbert for his old job." }, { "date": "2009-02-03", "synopsis": "Dogbert goes to round two of interviewing Dilbert for his old job." }, { "date": "2009-02-04", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells Dilbert he passed the interview process but there are no jobs in engineering, just sales." }, { "date": "2009-02-05", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets introduced to his new job in sales." }, { "date": "2009-02-06", "synopsis": "Catbert chides Dilbert for refusing to do his new job in sales." }, { "date": "2009-02-07", "synopsis": "Dilbert now works for the collections department and calls his first client." }, { "date": "2009-02-08", "synopsis": "Dilbert is asked to take over Carl's old function, and Ted tries to train him." }, { "date": "2009-02-09", "synopsis": "Dilbert, working in Collections, calls a client who lives between an archery range and a nest of rabid badgers." }, { "date": "2009-02-10", "synopsis": "Dilbert, working in Collections, calls a client whose wife left him, his truck caught fire and all his organs are failing." }, { "date": "2009-02-11", "synopsis": "Dilbert, working in Collections, asks for advice on how to collect money from people who don't have any." }, { "date": "2009-02-12", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks his boss in Collections if it's OK to apply for his old job." }, { "date": "2009-02-13", "synopsis": "Catbert tells Dilbert he can have is old job back but a new compensation package." }, { "date": "2009-02-14", "synopsis": "The Boss announces at a meeting Dilbert has been rehired for a much lower salary." }, { "date": "2009-02-15", "synopsis": "Wally is transitioned from lead engineer to an advisory role in a project." }, { "date": "2009-02-16", "synopsis": "Dilbert is sent on a trip but the per-diem is much less than the golden years." }, { "date": "2009-02-17", "synopsis": "A finance troll denies Dilbert's request for airline travel. He must hitchhike instead." }, { "date": "2009-02-18", "synopsis": "Dilbert hitchhikes for his business trip." }, { "date": "2009-02-19", "synopsis": "Dilbert apologises for being late on his trip because he was forced to hitch a ride." }, { "date": "2009-02-20", "synopsis": "The Boss asks the engineers to take a ten percent cut in pay." }, { "date": "2009-02-21", "synopsis": "A co-worker is scared so bad he turned into a tree." }, { "date": "2009-02-22", "synopsis": "Dilbert starts dressing in green clothing to reduce carbon emissions while working at home." }, { "date": "2009-02-23", "synopsis": "Wally thanks customers who came in to a meeting on short notice." }, { "date": "2009-02-24", "synopsis": "Asok complains Wally's generation is leaving a dying planet and a crippling debt." }, { "date": "2009-02-25", "synopsis": "Dogbert is asked questions at a bailout hearing." }, { "date": "2009-02-26", "synopsis": "Dogbert the CEO announces the government gave a bailout loan of 25 billion dollars." }, { "date": "2009-02-27", "synopsis": "The Boss announces they'll be implementing a mandatory week off every quarter." }, { "date": "2009-02-28", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces the new director of marketecture." }, { "date": "2009-03-01", "synopsis": "The staffing group is renamed to talent acquisition, the Boss announces. The engineers complain it implies the current employees are inferior." }, { "date": "2009-03-02", "synopsis": "The directory of marketecture says it's better to seem good than to be good." }, { "date": "2009-03-03", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for status reports to be in the form of red, yellow or green. The engineers use other colours." }, { "date": "2009-03-04", "synopsis": "The Boss inoculates his CEO by insulting Carl." }, { "date": "2009-03-05", "synopsis": "Dilbert meets his look-alike who is much smarter and has the same assignment." }, { "date": "2009-03-06", "synopsis": "The Boss explains why he gave the same assignment to Dilbert's look alike as to Dilbert." }, { "date": "2009-03-07", "synopsis": "Dilbert, in a presentation, uses a pie chart instead of anything useful to say." }, { "date": "2009-03-08", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells the Boss about his outsourcing company and his solution for every budget -- an illiterate Elbonian with poor attendance and an anger management problem." }, { "date": "2009-03-09", "synopsis": "The Boss praises Dilbert for his Powerpoint slides." }, { "date": "2009-03-10", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells a psychologist how much he loves his phone." }, { "date": "2009-03-11", "synopsis": "A co-worker tries to explain something without using a whiteboard." }, { "date": "2009-03-12", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to get some time with the Boss." }, { "date": "2009-03-13", "synopsis": "Asok is doing black-market IT support to make up for his recent pay cut." }, { "date": "2009-03-14", "synopsis": "Catbert asks Asok to take another pay cut and get a second job." }, { "date": "2009-03-15", "synopsis": "Dilbert says customers can't figure out the user interface, the user manual, or the online support database." }, { "date": "2009-03-16", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to get some risk management software. Dilbert says he can assess the risks." }, { "date": "2009-03-17", "synopsis": "The risk management software says Boss's idea is too risky, so the Boss wants to change the inputs." }, { "date": "2009-03-18", "synopsis": "Dilbert says incompetence is the biggest risk to the project." }, { "date": "2009-03-19", "synopsis": "Dilbert laments he gets in trouble for taking action or taking no action." }, { "date": "2009-03-20", "synopsis": "The Boss thanks Tina for her suggestion and says he'll get back to her." }, { "date": "2009-03-21", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Phil, the new VP of marginally legal activities." }, { "date": "2009-03-22", "synopsis": "The Boss wants cost-cutting ideas. Wally asks for free coffee." }, { "date": "2009-03-23", "synopsis": "Dogbert the CEO invents a new word for someone who wants a raise -- GOINK." }, { "date": "2009-03-24", "synopsis": "Dogbert says he'll fly coach class until the company returns to profitability. He'll book three seats for himself and bring an entourage." }, { "date": "2009-03-25", "synopsis": "Dogbert buys a failed bank for a dollar and insults the former owner." }, { "date": "2009-03-26", "synopsis": "Dogbert introduces the new product -- risky mortgage loans and a ponzi scheme." }, { "date": "2009-03-27", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks if there are questions about his strategies and punishes someone who asks." }, { "date": "2009-03-28", "synopsis": "Dogbert negotiates deep cuts from the union by agreeing to a wage of one dollar per year." }, { "date": "2009-03-29", "synopsis": "The Boss thanks Ted for his years of service, then right-sizes him." }, { "date": "2009-03-30", "synopsis": "The Boss hires a new person but says he has to post the position internally before it's official." }, { "date": "2009-03-31", "synopsis": "The Boss puts a woman who laughs too much into a cubicle next to Dilbert." }, { "date": "2009-04-01", "synopsis": "The Boss hires a temp to cover Carol while she's on vacation." }, { "date": "2009-04-02", "synopsis": "An overqualified temp, filling in for Carol, describes her ambassadorship." }, { "date": "2009-04-03", "synopsis": "The overqualified temp asks for more menial tasks to crush her sense of self-worth." }, { "date": "2009-04-04", "synopsis": "Asok gloats to the overqualified temp he is superior." }, { "date": "2009-04-05", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to get input from the executive stakeholders and finish the project in two weeks. Impossible, says Dilbert." }, { "date": "2009-04-06", "synopsis": "The Boss announces co-workers were laid off but the engineer's jobs are safe." }, { "date": "2009-04-07", "synopsis": "Catbert outlines the bad choices for who to lay off." }, { "date": "2009-04-08", "synopsis": "The Boss receives new motivational posters. He bought the cheapest." }, { "date": "2009-04-09", "synopsis": "Wally says he enjoys being on unfunded projects." }, { "date": "2009-04-10", "synopsis": "Dilbert says to a girl he is employed and does not live with his parents." }, { "date": "2009-04-11", "synopsis": "A girl wonders why she's attracted to Dilbert since he's not her type." }, { "date": "2009-04-12", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains to a potential investor about his new hedge fund." }, { "date": "2009-04-13", "synopsis": "Catbert says it's a good time for cutting benefits and new policies since the employees are worried about losing their jobs." }, { "date": "2009-04-14", "synopsis": "Asok readjusts his hopes and dreams to match the new economy." }, { "date": "2009-04-15", "synopsis": "The Boss hires a new employee because he's huge and scary." }, { "date": "2009-04-16", "synopsis": "The company economist forecasts the economy will collapse in 2010." }, { "date": "2009-04-17", "synopsis": "The company economist says the economy will either recover or it won't." }, { "date": "2009-04-18", "synopsis": "Catbert laments how being evil used to mean something. Now he gets thanked for cutting salaries." }, { "date": "2009-04-19", "synopsis": "Dilbert buys a new phone then encounters Rebaterus who sets up impossible conditions for receiving the rebate." }, { "date": "2009-04-20", "synopsis": "Ted fears being fired because he forgot to total the cost estimates." }, { "date": "2009-04-21", "synopsis": "Elbonia will be having economic problems soon, economists say." }, { "date": "2009-04-22", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks Dilbert if he feels inadequate and sad because of Dogbert's wealth." }, { "date": "2009-04-23", "synopsis": "The Boss made changes to Dilbert's drawings before sending them for fabrication." }, { "date": "2009-04-24", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells the manufacturers the Boss changed the specs before sending them out, and asks if they have problems with them." }, { "date": "2009-04-25", "synopsis": "The flash on the company's new phone prototype is too strong and dangerous, Dilbert tells the Boss." }, { "date": "2009-04-26", "synopsis": "Someone has an appointment to the the Boss,, but only gibberish names are on Carol's calendar." }, { "date": "2009-04-27", "synopsis": "Dilbert thinks his reality is entirely imagined. The psychologist listens." }, { "date": "2009-04-28", "synopsis": "Wally steals company electricity to power his home appliances." }, { "date": "2009-04-29", "synopsis": "Alice plans to date a co-worker to save money to make up for the pay cut." }, { "date": "2009-04-30", "synopsis": "Alice describes her plan to marry Dilbert in order to maintain her lifestyle." }, { "date": "2009-05-01", "synopsis": "Dilbert plays another round of \"If we had money.\"" }, { "date": "2009-05-02", "synopsis": "An e-mail announces the cleaning crew was let go. The staff are asked to \"adopt a toilet.\"" }, { "date": "2009-05-03", "synopsis": "Dilbert arrives late to a meeting and asks for a recap." }, { "date": "2009-05-04", "synopsis": "Carol says her net worth is higher than the Boss's because of his investments." }, { "date": "2009-05-05", "synopsis": "Asok collects money for the Boss's birthday." }, { "date": "2009-05-06", "synopsis": "Dilbert's stocks are down 70%. Topper's house is insulated with cheese." }, { "date": "2009-05-07", "synopsis": "Dilbert is painting his house to save money. Topper describes how he makes his own silk garments." }, { "date": "2009-05-08", "synopsis": "Carol says her baby weighed twelve pounds. Topper described how his gallstone became secretary of labour." }, { "date": "2009-05-09", "synopsis": "The Boss's stockbroker is in the news. It can only mean bad things." }, { "date": "2009-05-10", "synopsis": "Dilbert and a salesman each try to determine if the other companies will stay in business long enough." }, { "date": "2009-05-11", "synopsis": "Wally makes a deal with Catbert for a raise involving kickbacks." }, { "date": "2009-05-12", "synopsis": "Wally asks Asok to be his henchman for his new life in crime." }, { "date": "2009-05-13", "synopsis": "Wally says a life of crime isn't so bad. It depends on the role models." }, { "date": "2009-05-14", "synopsis": "Wally describes his life in crime -- selling company secrets, insider trading and kickbacks." }, { "date": "2009-05-15", "synopsis": "Wally retires from his life of corporate crime and invests the profits in a mutual fund." }, { "date": "2009-05-16", "synopsis": "Catbert wants to save money by downsizing the unhealthy workers." }, { "date": "2009-05-17", "synopsis": "Wally describes how his job has evolved into doing nothing." }, { "date": "2009-05-18", "synopsis": "A new MBA comes in to solve all the engineers' problems." }, { "date": "2009-05-19", "synopsis": "A new MBA describes how he is now an expert -- by reading case studies about completely different situations." }, { "date": "2009-05-20", "synopsis": "Alice punches the new MBA." }, { "date": "2009-05-21", "synopsis": "The new MBA presents a boring spreadsheet to the Boss." }, { "date": "2009-05-22", "synopsis": "The Boss doesn't know who to believe -- the new MBA or the crazy old witch." }, { "date": "2009-05-23", "synopsis": "The MBA's analysis doesn't support Dogbert's strategy." }, { "date": "2009-05-24", "synopsis": "A young engineer challenges the dominant work-avoider in the herd." }, { "date": "2009-05-25", "synopsis": "Dilbert says the project won't finish on time, but the Boss wants Dilbert to take more ownership." }, { "date": "2009-05-26", "synopsis": "Wally says several agenda items don't involve him so he'll take a table nap instead." }, { "date": "2009-05-27", "synopsis": "Alice went for a long walk, but Topper can jump rope really high." }, { "date": "2009-05-28", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to find out how many engineers their competitors have." }, { "date": "2009-05-29", "synopsis": "The Boss describes what to tell the customers about the system failure -- it won't happen again." }, { "date": "2009-05-30", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Asok to scrub the data in a database no one uses anymore." }, { "date": "2009-05-31", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks his mother for motherly advice about his dismal situation." }, { "date": "2009-06-01", "synopsis": "Wally says he couldn't do any work because he doesn't have a charge code." }, { "date": "2009-06-02", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for some one-on-one meetings so he can practise his new dismissive scoffing sound." }, { "date": "2009-06-03", "synopsis": "Dogbert hires Ratbert to be his new VP of sales. Ratbert is to set impossible goals and punish for failing." }, { "date": "2009-06-04", "synopsis": "Ratbert gets a scary salesman to be less pitchforkable." }, { "date": "2009-06-05", "synopsis": "Ratbert accompanies Humphrey on a sales call so Humphrey can learn from the master." }, { "date": "2009-06-06", "synopsis": "Ratbert disciplines Humphrey for not meeting his sales quota." }, { "date": "2009-06-07", "synopsis": "Dilbert comes across the Boss in a hallway meeting. The Boss avoids him so Dilbert assumes he's up for a layoff." }, { "date": "2009-06-08", "synopsis": "Scott collects for his own birthday present." }, { "date": "2009-06-09", "synopsis": "The Boss says he attended a circle of excellence conference for managers." }, { "date": "2009-06-10", "synopsis": "The Boss lays off Ted because business is slow." }, { "date": "2009-06-11", "synopsis": "Dogbert the CEO says the strategy will be executed in the usual way -- delegation to the untalented." }, { "date": "2009-06-12", "synopsis": "Dogbert the CEO says he will take a base pay of one dollar per year plus stock incentives." }, { "date": "2009-06-13", "synopsis": "Bob and Ratbert serve as Dogbert's executive compensation committee." }, { "date": "2009-06-14", "synopsis": "Dogbert interviews applicants for a commission-only sales position and requires the applicant purchase a laptop for the job." }, { "date": "2009-06-15", "synopsis": "Dogbert considers becoming a Somalian pirate." }, { "date": "2009-06-16", "synopsis": "Dogbert announces he will become a Somalian pirate and will kidnap employees for ransom." }, { "date": "2009-06-17", "synopsis": "An executive complains it's a conflict of interest for Dogbert to be a CEO and a pirate who kidnaps employees." }, { "date": "2009-06-18", "synopsis": "Dilbert meets a woman who says she only meets men at online dating sites to filter the losers." }, { "date": "2009-06-19", "synopsis": "Dilbert says a woman has crazy eyes, and eyes are a mirror of the soul." }, { "date": "2009-06-20", "synopsis": "Wally tells the Boss he wants to be like the Boss -- worthless and overpaid." }, { "date": "2009-06-21", "synopsis": "The Boss tries to find an acting manager while he's on vacation. Everyone except Wally has commitments." }, { "date": "2009-06-22", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert they can only fix high-priority bugs. Dilbert says all bugs should be fixed otherwise the software is useless." }, { "date": "2009-06-23", "synopsis": "Dogbert says he pays too much taxes and seeks help from the company physicist and lawyer." }, { "date": "2009-06-24", "synopsis": "An auditor arrives in Dogbert's office." }, { "date": "2009-06-25", "synopsis": "An auditor questions Dogbert's claim of being exempt from taxes because the company is incorporated in Heaven." }, { "date": "2009-06-26", "synopsis": "Ted says he can't afford his mortgage because of his pay cut." }, { "date": "2009-06-27", "synopsis": "Catbert says the reason to come to work is to avoid not having any money." }, { "date": "2009-06-28", "synopsis": "Dogbert says the company will get into the executive recruiting business." }, { "date": "2009-06-29", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells the Boss online reviews of their product are awful." }, { "date": "2009-06-30", "synopsis": "Wally has another work-avoidance tool -- to randomly send yes/no questions to the Boss." }, { "date": "2009-07-01", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells the Boss beta testing shows the product causes despondency and self-mutilation." }, { "date": "2009-07-02", "synopsis": "Marketing questions why they market a product that causes despondency and self-mutilation." }, { "date": "2009-07-03", "synopsis": "The military wants to use the company's unsafe product. Now they have to foment war to sell their product." }, { "date": "2009-07-04", "synopsis": "Elbonians plot revenge against the imperialists for punching a hole in a hat." }, { "date": "2009-07-05", "synopsis": "The Boss raises lots of issues so Dilbert won't worry about not getting a raise." }, { "date": "2009-07-06", "synopsis": "Dogbert says the company will build a factory in every state to get pork projects from politicians." }, { "date": "2009-07-07", "synopsis": "The Boss announces a new government contract and having to follow government procurement rules." }, { "date": "2009-07-08", "synopsis": "Catbert advises Wally to clench sphincters so his soul doesn't escape." }, { "date": "2009-07-09", "synopsis": "Dilbert can't get a bonus because another division had huge losses." }, { "date": "2009-07-10", "synopsis": "Asok's only hope for promotion is if a senior engineer dies." }, { "date": "2009-07-11", "synopsis": "Asok tries to encourage an older engineer to retire." }, { "date": "2009-07-12", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to compile a list of software in the company." }, { "date": "2009-07-13", "synopsis": "The company has replaced styrofoam cups with paper cups." }, { "date": "2009-07-14", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders how replacing styrofoam cups with paper cups will help the planet." }, { "date": "2009-07-15", "synopsis": "Tina wants to chronicle the Boss's rise to management for the company newsletter." }, { "date": "2009-07-16", "synopsis": "Tina asks the Boss how he rose to being an overpaid speed bump." }, { "date": "2009-07-17", "synopsis": "Asok asks to use an old laptop no one else is using. Mordac refuses." }, { "date": "2009-07-18", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to do product testing. Dilbert complains he has no time." }, { "date": "2009-07-19", "synopsis": "Dilbert rejected the suggestions the Boss had for his presentation." }, { "date": "2009-07-20", "synopsis": "Catbert sends Dilbert to an anger management class for his outburst against the Boss." }, { "date": "2009-07-21", "synopsis": "Dilbert attends Eddy's school of anger management." }, { "date": "2009-07-22", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for the user interface be totally idiot-proof." }, { "date": "2009-07-23", "synopsis": "The Boss has been asked to cut the fat. Wally says fat is a symptom of bad management." }, { "date": "2009-07-24", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains his calendar has been filled by co-workers. He is a failure puppet." }, { "date": "2009-07-25", "synopsis": "Tina will answer a customer complaint. The customer is always an idiot." }, { "date": "2009-07-26", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert for a budget for the next project. Dilbert says \"whatever will get approved.\"" }, { "date": "2009-07-27", "synopsis": "Tina asks Dilbert to review her response to a customer complaint." }, { "date": "2009-07-28", "synopsis": "Dogbert prepares for retirement by firing the research and development group." }, { "date": "2009-07-29", "synopsis": "An foodie with a huge forehead joins Dilbert's project." }, { "date": "2009-07-30", "synopsis": "A foodie enjoys his french fries until Alice punches him." }, { "date": "2009-07-31", "synopsis": "The old policy was to have fired people escorted out. That takes too much time, Catbert says." }, { "date": "2009-08-01", "synopsis": "Catbert outlines the career choice for a downsized person." }, { "date": "2009-08-02", "synopsis": "The Boss wants the engineers to put together a teamwork award but there's no incentive to do a good job." }, { "date": "2009-08-03", "synopsis": "Dilbert is worried he does too much multitasking." }, { "date": "2009-08-04", "synopsis": "Dilbert is not to answer questions directly but through the sales reps." }, { "date": "2009-08-05", "synopsis": "A customer wants to ask Dilbert a question but he's not allowed to answer." }, { "date": "2009-08-06", "synopsis": "Dilbert wasn't supposed to tell a customer he's not allowed to talk to customers." }, { "date": "2009-08-07", "synopsis": "Asok learns preemptive guilt from Wally." }, { "date": "2009-08-08", "synopsis": "Wally shows Asok about fake eagerness combined with a hint of likely failure." }, { "date": "2009-08-09", "synopsis": "The new data centre is ready except there's not enough power." }, { "date": "2009-08-10", "synopsis": "Wally complains it takes five people to approve any action and most of them are on vacation." }, { "date": "2009-08-11", "synopsis": "Dilbert's job is to provide information needed to make the right decision." }, { "date": "2009-08-12", "synopsis": "Wally asks if he should do shoddy or do nothing." }, { "date": "2009-08-13", "synopsis": "A salesman gives Dilbert a quote but Dilbert knows he is intentionally underestimating." }, { "date": "2009-08-14", "synopsis": "A salesman can't demo the unit Dilbert wants to see so he shows pictures of other models." }, { "date": "2009-08-15", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to go skiing in Denver using the company jet." }, { "date": "2009-08-16", "synopsis": "Wally tells the Boss Ted has been stealing things from the Boss." }, { "date": "2009-08-17", "synopsis": "The Boss forgets what it's like to be one of the little people." }, { "date": "2009-08-18", "synopsis": "The Boss describes a cheaper package delivery service -- tranquilise people and hide the parcel under their hats." }, { "date": "2009-08-19", "synopsis": "The Boss has new software for performance reviews." }, { "date": "2009-08-20", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to keep some information confidential." }, { "date": "2009-08-21", "synopsis": "Dogbert says the company is getting into financial services." }, { "date": "2009-08-22", "synopsis": "The financial services start with ten mutual funds with stocks chosen at random." }, { "date": "2009-08-23", "synopsis": "Dilbert puts together a needlessly complicated presentation." }, { "date": "2009-08-24", "synopsis": "Wally tells how he installed new productivity software and interface it to the time reporting system." }, { "date": "2009-08-25", "synopsis": "Productivity software keeps crashing Wally's computer." }, { "date": "2009-08-26", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to become better at anticipating problems." }, { "date": "2009-08-27", "synopsis": "The Boss tells inane stories to a customer." }, { "date": "2009-08-28", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date judges potential mates by their cell phone apps." }, { "date": "2009-08-29", "synopsis": "Asok is to rummage through the Boss's desk to find something to do." }, { "date": "2009-08-30", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to know if the new software will pose a risk to the payroll data." }, { "date": "2009-08-31", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to attend a three day meeting in Elbonia." }, { "date": "2009-09-01", "synopsis": "Conflicts arise at an industry standards meeting in Elbonia." }, { "date": "2009-09-02", "synopsis": "Dilbert returns from an industry standards meeting in Elbonia, and the Boss asks how it went." }, { "date": "2009-09-03", "synopsis": "Wally requests to work at home, to cut down on distractions." }, { "date": "2009-09-04", "synopsis": "The Boss asks a co-worker how her kids are. She doesn't have any." }, { "date": "2009-09-05", "synopsis": "The Boss hires a golf buddy to consult." }, { "date": "2009-09-06", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for a change to be approved. It's not clear who needs to approve it." }, { "date": "2009-09-07", "synopsis": "The Boss welcomes a new hire to his first day of work, and advises to keep his desk locked at night." }, { "date": "2009-09-08", "synopsis": "Because of the bad economy, employee theft is rising." }, { "date": "2009-09-09", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains of over-broad patents and only lawyers will make money." }, { "date": "2009-09-10", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Ted to keep the pigeons off the building's ledges." }, { "date": "2009-09-11", "synopsis": "The Boss says he's lucky to hire someone who was recently downsized." }, { "date": "2009-09-12", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for more resources for his project and gets someone from Alice's project." }, { "date": "2009-09-13", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss to ask four simple questions to Marketing. The Boss won't write them down." }, { "date": "2009-09-14", "synopsis": "Dogbert the CEO wants to make their product pricing plan more confusing and change packaging to hard plastic that cuts hands." }, { "date": "2009-09-15", "synopsis": "Dogbert the CEO wants to know if his pay is excessive enough." }, { "date": "2009-09-16", "synopsis": "The Boss has a mentoring session with Alice." }, { "date": "2009-09-17", "synopsis": "Dilbert is proud of his slide presentation. Alice is not impressed." }, { "date": "2009-09-18", "synopsis": "Dogbert the CEO wants to fix bids but doesn't want to get caught." }, { "date": "2009-09-19", "synopsis": "Dogbert goes to a CEO meet market." }, { "date": "2009-09-20", "synopsis": "At a strategy meeting they decide not to sugarcoat anything. The pass out clubs to the employees to help downsize." }, { "date": "2009-09-21", "synopsis": "Wally says he did no work this week because of inadequate user specifications." }, { "date": "2009-09-22", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Tina she shouldn't work from home because the admins get jealous." }, { "date": "2009-09-23", "synopsis": "Alice describes the Boss's mood as tired, fussy, confused, bumbling and more." }, { "date": "2009-09-24", "synopsis": "The Boss asks all problems be referred to as opportunities.", "note": "This strip is #9 on Scott's list of 10 favourite strips." }, { "date": "2009-09-25", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains he is always in unproductive meetings so he doesn't have time for work." }, { "date": "2009-09-26", "synopsis": "A manager speaks only in cliches and Dilbert thinks he's mocking manager-speak." }, { "date": "2009-09-27", "synopsis": "Dilbert must ask around to see if anyone knows about a white paper that talks about a policy for developing procedures to create policies." }, { "date": "2009-09-28", "synopsis": "The Boss tries to negotiate price cuts from suppliers." }, { "date": "2009-09-29", "synopsis": "Wally says he will die on on the same day his retirement money runs out." }, { "date": "2009-09-30", "synopsis": "Alice says she can't afford a big vacation so bought a 100-watt light bulb and kitty litter to be just like at the beach." }, { "date": "2009-10-01", "synopsis": "Catbert describes Wally's only skill as diverting others from his own lack of value." }, { "date": "2009-10-02", "synopsis": "Dilbert goes to Elbonia to do some hand-holding while they cut over to the new system." }, { "date": "2009-10-03", "synopsis": "Dogbert the CEO wants to drive up their stock value." }, { "date": "2009-10-04", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Wally convince the Boss to twitter about his everyday activities." }, { "date": "2009-10-05", "synopsis": "Alice says she knows how to do the Boss's job but he has no idea how to do hers." }, { "date": "2009-10-06", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Asok to organise a forum for the HR executives." }, { "date": "2009-10-07", "synopsis": "The Boss promises to fix the problem that Tina's pay is 20% below the industry average." }, { "date": "2009-10-08", "synopsis": "Carol describes her career goals, to take over the department by tricking the Boss into a fatal accident." }, { "date": "2009-10-09", "synopsis": "The Boss says the executive steering committee has not approved Dilbert's project yet." }, { "date": "2009-10-10", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Wally to do an inventory of their warehouses.", "note": "This strip is #10 on Scott's list of 10 favourite strips." }, { "date": "2009-10-11", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to simplify processes enough to replace good employees with chickens." }, { "date": "2009-10-12", "synopsis": "Wally promises his project will be done next week, although he has said the same thing seven weeks in a row." }, { "date": "2009-10-13", "synopsis": "The Boss asks the engineers to e-mail congressmen to ask them to send more projects to the company." }, { "date": "2009-10-14", "synopsis": "Dogbert bribes a senator, though it's not legal." }, { "date": "2009-10-15", "synopsis": "Dilbert walks Carol through a new procedure." }, { "date": "2009-10-16", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice to work with Ted. Alice thinks Ted is a drama queen." }, { "date": "2009-10-17", "synopsis": "Ted the drama queen describes his personal problems with Barry." }, { "date": "2009-10-18", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to write a white paper during his unproductive time -- meaning sleep and leisure time." }, { "date": "2009-10-19", "synopsis": "Dilbert describes why he didn't get the Boss's input on the vendor selection -- because the Boss is so easily distracted." }, { "date": "2009-10-20", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Wally why he didn't send his project status. Wally tries to distract him by asking about his spam folder." }, { "date": "2009-10-21", "synopsis": "Consumer confidence is up so Dogbert the CEO wants to take credit for increased sales by making random management changes." }, { "date": "2009-10-22", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to win a humanitarian award but without touching any sick or poor or unattractive person." }, { "date": "2009-10-23", "synopsis": "Dogbert says it feels good to help others. He talked some Elbonians into mowing his lawn for free." }, { "date": "2009-10-24", "synopsis": "Asok is in charge of pandemic contingency planning." }, { "date": "2009-10-25", "synopsis": "The Boss wants Dilbert to pass an assignment to marketing." }, { "date": "2009-10-26", "synopsis": "Asok says in a pandemic, the only survivors will be cockroaches and Alice." }, { "date": "2009-10-27", "synopsis": "Asok wants to know if he'll get a bonus if he does a great job with the pandemic contingency planning." }, { "date": "2009-10-28", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice to remove her toys from her cubicle as it sends the wrong message." }, { "date": "2009-10-29", "synopsis": "A co-worker tries to give Alice a stock tip. She's not interested." }, { "date": "2009-10-30", "synopsis": "The data centre is being moved to Elbonia to save money. Dilbert says the Elbonians are all identity thieves." }, { "date": "2009-10-31", "synopsis": "Wally and Dilbert explain their Halloween costumes -- the Boss and Mickey Mouse." }, { "date": "2009-11-01", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a DBA to make some simple changes to the database, then Dilbert comes up with reasons why the DBA will refuse." }, { "date": "2009-11-02", "synopsis": "A co-worker explains the side effect of his prescriptions -- drowsiness and phantom-hand syndrome." }, { "date": "2009-11-03", "synopsis": "A doctor gives Dilbert a prescription because the pharmaceutical rep is smoking hot." }, { "date": "2009-11-04", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains to his date he got his wings from a drug side effect. But he can take her on a moonlight flight." }, { "date": "2009-11-05", "synopsis": "Catbert wants to kill Dilbert because Dilbert grew wings." }, { "date": "2009-11-06", "synopsis": "The doctor gives Dilbert more pills to get rid of his wings." }, { "date": "2009-11-07", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks others in the meeting to ignore his wings and halo, then lies about project delivery." }, { "date": "2009-11-08", "synopsis": "A co-worker hijacks a conversation by telling irrelevant stories." }, { "date": "2009-11-09", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains his house value has fallen. Topper brags he paid money for Elbonians to take his house." }, { "date": "2009-11-10", "synopsis": "Dilbert says there's no use to negotiate a contract because it would be obsolete before completion." }, { "date": "2009-11-11", "synopsis": "The Boss's age group has destroyed hopes for Asok's generation, Asok complains." }, { "date": "2009-11-12", "synopsis": "Wally suddenly starts caring about the quality of his work, but soon fixes that.", "note": "This strip is #8 on Scott's list of 10 favourite strips." }, { "date": "2009-11-13", "synopsis": "The Boss says others must pick up the slack when Wally doesn't pull his weight." }, { "date": "2009-11-14", "synopsis": "A prospective employee says he has a large family and will potentially have to spend lots of time at funerals, graduations and weddings." }, { "date": "2009-11-15", "synopsis": "Dilbert meets a customer but won't shake hands because of fears of diseases." }, { "date": "2009-11-16", "synopsis": "Ted asks for training to keep up with technology trends and the Boss uses that as an excuse to fire him." }, { "date": "2009-11-17", "synopsis": "Dogbert the CEO says the company will do Internet news by summarising other sites and provide links." }, { "date": "2009-11-18", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to implement cloud computing so he can talk about it at the executive meeting." }, { "date": "2009-11-19", "synopsis": "Mordac says cloud computing is no good because data is not safe." }, { "date": "2009-11-20", "synopsis": "Dogbert the CEO gives Floyd the janitor a C-level title." }, { "date": "2009-11-21", "synopsis": "Dogbert the CEO gives out a C-level title to the head of Human Resources." }, { "date": "2009-11-22", "synopsis": "Dilbert says because there are no raises or layoffs this year, he can be more rude to the Boss." }, { "date": "2009-11-23", "synopsis": "A vendor rep says their hidden costs are better than any competitor." }, { "date": "2009-11-24", "synopsis": "Dogbert starts to use Twitter because everything that pops into his head is fascinating." }, { "date": "2009-11-25", "synopsis": "The Boss wants employees engagement, but doesn't know what that means except for working harder for the same pay." }, { "date": "2009-11-26", "synopsis": "The Boss wants Carol to feel emotionally invested in the company. Carol says her only emotion is anger." }, { "date": "2009-11-27", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains to a co-worker he didn't understand anything she said and he wasn't allowed to ask questions." }, { "date": "2009-11-28", "synopsis": "Ted's security background check came in. The Boss is to beat him to death with a binder." }, { "date": "2009-11-29", "synopsis": "Dilbert's new project manager will either come down on him for doing a bad job or feel threatened by him for doing a good job." }, { "date": "2009-11-30", "synopsis": "Wally tells the Boss he will be going to work for the director of the top secret research group." }, { "date": "2009-12-01", "synopsis": "A vendor shows Dilbert a product has 9,000 options. Dilbert complains there are too many options to study." }, { "date": "2009-12-02", "synopsis": "Dogbert is stepping down as CEO and the interim replacement is a dried up corpse." }, { "date": "2009-12-03", "synopsis": "Wally shows a presentation on why he wasn't able to prepare his presentation.", "note": "This strip is #7 on Scott's list of 10 favourite strips." }, { "date": "2009-12-04", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows the Boss a mountain of facts to support his recommendation, and gives the Boss a thimble to wear as a hat." }, { "date": "2009-12-05", "synopsis": "The new marketing director is a demon, who will make product pricing impossible to understand." }, { "date": "2009-12-06", "synopsis": "The engineers are to cold-call ten people every day, to help prop up lagging sales." }, { "date": "2009-12-07", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Dilbert for a project estimate, but can't provide a scope or design." }, { "date": "2009-12-08", "synopsis": "Dilbert's project plan is approved after eight months, but it's too late because technology has changed, and competitors have leapfrogged them." }, { "date": "2009-12-09", "synopsis": "The Boss says they can catch up to their competitors in a year, if they work really hard.", "note": "This strip is #6 on Scott's list of 10 favourite strips." }, { "date": "2009-12-10", "synopsis": "A customer wants to send requirements by fax, although that's an obsolete way to do it." }, { "date": "2009-12-11", "synopsis": "A woman at a party asks Dilbert to call her some time. Dilbert wants to analyse her business card first." }, { "date": "2009-12-12", "synopsis": "Asok complains his enormous technical expertise is not useful for the trivial tasks he gets." }, { "date": "2009-12-13", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks for Wally's opinion. Wally wants a project charge code even though it will only take a minute." }, { "date": "2009-12-14", "synopsis": "Alice let off some steam by punching putting her fist through a computer monitor." }, { "date": "2009-12-15", "synopsis": "After Alice punches a monitor, a broken printer starts working." }, { "date": "2009-12-16", "synopsis": "Wally asks whether he should spend his time planning or plunge into his project with aggressive randomness." }, { "date": "2009-12-17", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Alice her opinion of a plan. She says it is impractical and concocted by mediocre minds." }, { "date": "2009-12-18", "synopsis": "Wally tells the Boss his hearing aid fell in the toilet and his e-mail filter is aggressive." }, { "date": "2009-12-19", "synopsis": "A vendor submits an invoice for twice as much as the bid. He says they lied to win the bid." }, { "date": "2009-12-20", "synopsis": "Tina asks Carol for a new stapler because too many people have touched it." }, { "date": "2009-12-21", "synopsis": "A co-worker says he's an artist and just works here to pay the bills." }, { "date": "2009-12-22", "synopsis": "The customer wants features the company can't possible deliver. The Boss asks Dilbert to say they can anyway." }, { "date": "2009-12-23", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells his date she made many inaccurate statements so he will e-mail links to correct her." }, { "date": "2009-12-24", "synopsis": "The engineers pooled their bonus cheques to get the Boss a gift. The gift box is empty." }, { "date": "2009-12-25", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert give each other one hundred dollars for Christmas." }, { "date": "2009-12-26", "synopsis": "Dilbert says they can either watch a cooking show or an action movie." }, { "date": "2009-12-27", "synopsis": "Silent Gary helps the engineers decide whether to use open source software as their support platform." }, { "date": "2009-12-28", "synopsis": "Dilbert is to ask Morgan for recommendations, even though Morgan has no communication skills." }, { "date": "2009-12-29", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a man with no communication skills if the stress test results are in." }, { "date": "2009-12-30", "synopsis": "Morgan says they decided on option one. Dilbert wants to know who \"they\" are, and what is option one." }, { "date": "2009-12-31", "synopsis": "Will Dogbert stay up until midnight to bring in the new year? No. Dogbert's new year begins at 10 PM." }, { "date": "2010-01-01", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders why Ted didn't make any notes at the meeting even though they agreed on about fifty things." }, { "date": "2010-01-02", "synopsis": "Dogbert forms a support group for people who always make bad choices. Ratbert will organise it." }, { "date": "2010-01-03", "synopsis": "Wally gets an ergo buddy, who will make suggestions for better ergonomics." }, { "date": "2010-01-04", "synopsis": "Dogbert starts a meeting for the society for people who make bad decisions. He thanks them for getting the stain protection plan." }, { "date": "2010-01-05", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to get someone to quantify the value of Dilbert's research and development work." }, { "date": "2010-01-06", "synopsis": "Wally complains his single point of contact has died." }, { "date": "2010-01-07", "synopsis": "The Boss wants Wally to work with a greater sense of urgency.", "note": "This strip is #5 on Scott's list of 10 favourite strips." }, { "date": "2010-01-08", "synopsis": "Wally introduces his work habits to a new co-worker. He'll disappoint her at every turn." }, { "date": "2010-01-09", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to schedule a scenario-based roundtable discussion. No one can understand the gibberish he's spouting." }, { "date": "2010-01-10", "synopsis": "Dilbert visits the trolls in Accounting to find out why they rejected his expense claims." }, { "date": "2010-01-11", "synopsis": "While visiting a vendor on the other side of the country, Dilbert and Alice find out a salesman has borrowed the demo unit they came to see." }, { "date": "2010-01-12", "synopsis": "A vendor calls his competitors vampires, and not the good kind." }, { "date": "2010-01-13", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to get the customers more involved in the design phase." }, { "date": "2010-01-14", "synopsis": "Dilbert monitors a focus group session. The group is planning to storm the observation room." }, { "date": "2010-01-15", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Dilbert for a minute of his time. Dilbert says yes, he has allocated one minute for complete waste of time tasks." }, { "date": "2010-01-16", "synopsis": "Wally decides to take up golf so he can be useless on the weekends as well." }, { "date": "2010-01-17", "synopsis": "Dilbert introduces Russell who will be the worthless dumb guy for their project." }, { "date": "2010-01-18", "synopsis": "Dilbert outlines his plan to make the company manageable by a monkey -- migrate all applications to the web and outsource sales and product development." }, { "date": "2010-01-19", "synopsis": "Wally tells the Boss there will be a shortage of people when the baby boomers start retiring. He's willing to step up to help out then." }, { "date": "2010-01-20", "synopsis": "Tina accuses Dilbert of being brusque in an e-mail. Dilbert says he was just being concise." }, { "date": "2010-01-21", "synopsis": "Alice is to go on cultural sensitivity training before she returns to Elbonia. Last visit she almost started a war." }, { "date": "2010-01-22", "synopsis": "Alice learns Elbonians believe people yawning in their directions steal their souls." }, { "date": "2010-01-23", "synopsis": "Catbert announces the results of a recent survey, employees want fewer benefits. Dilbert says there was no survey." }, { "date": "2010-01-24", "synopsis": "The Boss has to describe his groups function in one slide to present to the CEO. The group can't agree on what they do." }, { "date": "2010-01-25", "synopsis": "Dilbert is to help another group for six months. He also has to keep doing his old job, but just the things that matter." }, { "date": "2010-01-26", "synopsis": "Ted is being transferred to a job with a higher risk of industrial accidents. He is to reach over a vat of acid without protection." }, { "date": "2010-01-27", "synopsis": "The Boss forwarded a hoax e-mail to the entire company. People really won't burst into flames for using cell phones during an eclipse." }, { "date": "2010-01-28", "synopsis": "The Boss talks with his doctor about not being able to tell the difference between facts and urban myths." }, { "date": "2010-01-29", "synopsis": "The Boss has to forward an e-mail to fifty friends or else he'll die within a week. He panics because he doesn't have fifty friends." }, { "date": "2010-01-30", "synopsis": "Dogbert helps an incompetent CEO to pretend to unlock shareholder value." }, { "date": "2010-01-31", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Wally for a favour. Wally asks him to not ask for the favour." }, { "date": "2010-02-01", "synopsis": "The Boss hires Ratbert to make the employees feel better about not being as bad off as Ratbert." }, { "date": "2010-02-02", "synopsis": "The CEO invites the employees to visit his winery and purchase wine at near-retail prices." }, { "date": "2010-02-03", "synopsis": "Carol mistakenly put the Boss's name as the fired employee instead of Ted. Now his access has been cut off and his phone is shut off." }, { "date": "2010-02-04", "synopsis": "The Boss is a fugitive and asks Wally for help to hide so security can't find him." }, { "date": "2010-02-05", "synopsis": "Asok suggests the Boss hide in the ductwork while he is a fugitive from security." }, { "date": "2010-02-06", "synopsis": "The Boss is stuck in the ductwork because he's hiding after his security access is mistakenly revoked." }, { "date": "2010-02-07", "synopsis": "A project leader asks the Boss for an engineer to help on his project. The Boss shows him the choices and none are good." }, { "date": "2010-02-08", "synopsis": "The Boss is stuck in the ductwork and is presumed dead. The engineers want to propel his carcass into the stratosphere." }, { "date": "2010-02-09", "synopsis": "The engineers build a machine to get the Boss's body out of the ductwork. Then they hear his voice." }, { "date": "2010-02-10", "synopsis": "The Boss is propelled out off the ductwork and through the roof." }, { "date": "2010-02-11", "synopsis": "The Boss is in the hospital after being propelled out of the ductwork." }, { "date": "2010-02-12", "synopsis": "The Boss is dead and ends up in Helven, the outsourced version of heaven and hell." }, { "date": "2010-02-13", "synopsis": "The engineers want to drive a stake into the Boss's body to make sure he's dead." }, { "date": "2010-02-14", "synopsis": "Marketing has asked the engineers to make their products more robust. The engineers want to argue about what that means." }, { "date": "2010-02-15", "synopsis": "The Boss returns to work after being dead for a week. He brought back a consultant from the afterlife." }, { "date": "2010-02-16", "synopsis": "The Boss's consultant from the afterlife is called Helen Fry -- as in \"go to Helen Fry\"." }, { "date": "2010-02-17", "synopsis": "Asok visits the company's ombudsman to resolve a dispute with management. The ombudsman takes Asok's soul." }, { "date": "2010-02-18", "synopsis": "After losing his soul, Asok asks for a transfer to marketing where that would be an advantage." }, { "date": "2010-02-19", "synopsis": "Asok with no soul discusses how to improve their Google search with keywords, inbound links and a ritual sacrifice." }, { "date": "2010-02-20", "synopsis": "The Garbageman helps Asok to get his soul back." }, { "date": "2010-02-21", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Dilbert for a rough cost estimate. Dilbert says he doesn't trust him with preliminary numbers." }, { "date": "2010-02-22", "synopsis": "The leader of Project Emu prefers to slowly read each powerpoint slide instead of just e-mailing the deck around." }, { "date": "2010-02-23", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert for something by the end of the day. Dilbert believes it will then sit in the Boss's inbox for a week." }, { "date": "2010-02-24", "synopsis": "Alice complains the savings from her project was added to Ted's failing project." }, { "date": "2010-02-25", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces the new account manager. His job is to solve problems that would bore an ordinary person to death." }, { "date": "2010-02-26", "synopsis": "A co-worker wants load calculations from Wally by Tuesday. He asks to be reminded on Monday." }, { "date": "2010-02-27", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to take over the project of someone who quit without leaving any documentation." }, { "date": "2010-02-28", "synopsis": "Dilbert describes his accomplishments for the week. He confuses his fantasy life with his real job." }, { "date": "2010-03-01", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to figure out what Victor's project was. There wasn't much documentation. Asok gets a goat head." }, { "date": "2010-03-02", "synopsis": "Even though Asok now has a goat head, Dilbert thinks his project is going well with no issues." }, { "date": "2010-03-03", "synopsis": "Trying to get rid of his goat head, Asok asks Alice to slap him so hard his DNA is rearranged." }, { "date": "2010-03-04", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows the current project will never work. The Boss hopes someone in upper management cancels the project for budget reasons." }, { "date": "2010-03-05", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains his doomed project won't work and the Boss hopes an executive will cancel it." }, { "date": "2010-03-06", "synopsis": "An executive cancels Dilbert's project because his predecessor supported it. He also asks for a list of children the predecessor fathered." }, { "date": "2010-03-07", "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't want to help out as a quality tester because it would affect his long-term pay." }, { "date": "2010-03-08", "synopsis": "Dogbert the generic manager doesn't give a project manager any real help, just platitudes." }, { "date": "2010-03-09", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to know if there's a budget for calibrating the scope. The Boss suggests sending it to his tinkerer friend instead." }, { "date": "2010-03-10", "synopsis": "Wally complains about the bad feng shui in the lobby." }, { "date": "2010-03-11", "synopsis": "Wally stands next to Alice because she absorbs all the workflow energy. The Boss gives Alice a big assignment." }, { "date": "2010-03-12", "synopsis": "Wally blames bad feng shui for not getting any work done this week. The CEO believes in feng shui too." }, { "date": "2010-03-13", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to start using CMMI. He's not sure if that's a model for developing a process or a process for creating a framework." }, { "date": "2010-03-14", "synopsis": "The Boss says they start shipping the product in two weeks. Dilbert says there are too many bugs for that." }, { "date": "2010-03-15", "synopsis": "The Boss awards the first unit of the product to Dilbert for being the lead software engineer." }, { "date": "2010-03-16", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to explain the issue in terms Logan can understand." }, { "date": "2010-03-17", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to explain the issue to Logan in terms he can understand." }, { "date": "2010-03-18", "synopsis": "The Boss hired a poltergeist for the copy machine." }, { "date": "2010-03-19", "synopsis": "Tina gets captured by the poltergeist in the copy machine." }, { "date": "2010-03-20", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Alice to check a report for technical accuracy. She doesn't have time and tells him." }, { "date": "2010-03-21", "synopsis": "A security guard tries to branch out into a tech support career, so pesters Dilbert with useless technical advice." }, { "date": "2010-03-22", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows off his new cell phone shaped like an old man's head." }, { "date": "2010-03-23", "synopsis": "Dilbert has a cell phone on his shoulder that's shaped like an old man's head. He wears it to a party." }, { "date": "2010-03-24", "synopsis": "The Boss meets his new boss. He's tied to the CEO's leg." }, { "date": "2010-03-25", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces the new VP of engineering. He has no industry experience." }, { "date": "2010-03-26", "synopsis": "The Boss sends Wally, his best engineer, to help orient the new VP of engineering." }, { "date": "2010-03-27", "synopsis": "Wally asks Carol to scan a document. She says don't bother her." }, { "date": "2010-03-28", "synopsis": "Dilbert discovers a hole in his pants but decided to wear them anyway." }, { "date": "2010-03-29", "synopsis": "Wally describes his endless software update and reboot cycles. It hasn't let him work since October." }, { "date": "2010-03-30", "synopsis": "Catbert says if an employee is too happy he must be overpaid." }, { "date": "2010-03-31", "synopsis": "Catbert says leadership is the art of trading imaginary things in the future for real things today." }, { "date": "2010-04-01", "synopsis": "Ming asks Asok for feedback on her website design. Asok doesn't like it." }, { "date": "2010-04-02", "synopsis": "Dilbert needs training for new software. The Boss advises him to interview technical experts instead and learn from them." }, { "date": "2010-04-03", "synopsis": "Wally requested a transfer to their missile guidance engineering division." }, { "date": "2010-04-04", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for a status report from Dilbert for a project he didn't know he was leading." }, { "date": "2010-04-05", "synopsis": "Tina proofreads Dilbert's document. She doesn't understand it and changes acronyms and typos to something she thinks is right." }, { "date": "2010-04-06", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Dogbert how Tina corrected his document without knowing what it said." }, { "date": "2010-04-07", "synopsis": "Wally wrote some scripts to keep the servers from crashing. The Boss can't verify this." }, { "date": "2010-04-08", "synopsis": "Asok's nose grows when anyone lies during a business presentation." }, { "date": "2010-04-09", "synopsis": "Asok's nose grows when other people tell lies." }, { "date": "2010-04-10", "synopsis": "The Garbageman says Asok is evolving into a corporate whistleblower." }, { "date": "2010-04-11", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Tina to add impractical maintenance requirements to the new product manual so no one can maintain the product properly, thus violating their warranty." }, { "date": "2010-04-12", "synopsis": "Asok gets a veterinarian to cure his nose because their health plan didn't cover it." }, { "date": "2010-04-13", "synopsis": "Asok has a snout after getting medical help from a veterinarian.", "note": "This strip is #4 on Scott's list of 10 favourite strips." }, { "date": "2010-04-14", "synopsis": "Asok gets transferred to another department that better matches his new look." }, { "date": "2010-04-15", "synopsis": "An artist wonders how Asok got his new snout -- bold statement or botched nose job." }, { "date": "2010-04-16", "synopsis": "An artist advises Asok to try homoeopathy to fix his botched nose job." }, { "date": "2010-04-17", "synopsis": "Asok wakes from a dream in which he had a snout instead of a nose." }, { "date": "2010-04-18", "synopsis": "Wally hasn't finished the vendor comparison because it's not a high priority." }, { "date": "2010-04-19", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert for a time estimate. Dilbert wants to know if he should lie or tell the truth." }, { "date": "2010-04-20", "synopsis": "Dilbert learned to give the Boss unrealistic time estimates and then blame others when he misses deadlines." }, { "date": "2010-04-21", "synopsis": "A co-worker didn't review Dilbert's document because he doesn't read attachments." }, { "date": "2010-04-22", "synopsis": "The company has improved the rate of revenue decline so say they are doing great." }, { "date": "2010-04-23", "synopsis": "Tina is being loaned to the executive offices to help write press releases." }, { "date": "2010-04-24", "synopsis": "The Boss says they won the bid to build a country-wide wireless network. Dilbert says they don't know how to do that." }, { "date": "2010-04-25", "synopsis": "Wally tells the Boss he will spend the next year on the WDNW system, that will optimise zeros and ones to keep them from forming tens." }, { "date": "2010-04-26", "synopsis": "Dilbert has to kill himself with a light sabre because he can't make the Boss's deadline." }, { "date": "2010-04-27", "synopsis": "Wally had to spend the entire week cleaning up after Ted got fired." }, { "date": "2010-04-28", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains accounting takes two months to process his expenses so has to incur credit card late fees." }, { "date": "2010-04-29", "synopsis": "If the Boss adds two people to Dilbert's project, how long would it take? Dilbert says that would slow him down." }, { "date": "2010-04-30", "synopsis": "Dogbert, in tech support, asks a caller for a list of everything he has tried already." }, { "date": "2010-05-01", "synopsis": "Dogbert, in tech support, says the problem is in the caller's brain, the part that handles intelligence." }, { "date": "2010-05-02", "synopsis": "Dilbert works from home to avoid distractions. Dogbert tries to distract him anyway." }, { "date": "2010-05-03", "synopsis": "Dilbert says Dogbert shouldn't use his tech support job to trick people into hurting themselves." }, { "date": "2010-05-04", "synopsis": "Dogbert helps the company to get over the suffering of dying technology." }, { "date": "2010-05-05", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows the Boss his magic button, to give guidance on how to come up with cost estimates." }, { "date": "2010-05-06", "synopsis": "Catbert complains all of Wally's e-mails contained links to funny videos. Wally thinks this is a violation of his privacy." }, { "date": "2010-05-07", "synopsis": "Catbert gives the Boss a list of employee defects. The Boss uses this to the employees to avoid giving them raises." }, { "date": "2010-05-08", "synopsis": "Tina says her software is so old she can't open attachments." }, { "date": "2010-05-09", "synopsis": "Dilbert invites a co-worker for lunch and she invites another man as well." }, { "date": "2010-05-10", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to do e-mail during the boring parts of the meeting." }, { "date": "2010-05-11", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for a tiger team to remove the junk from a conference room. Carol isn't happy about the name." }, { "date": "2010-05-12", "synopsis": "The Boss is upset Dilbert didn't get sign-off from marketing like he asked. Dilbert says the Boss didn't ask." }, { "date": "2010-05-13", "synopsis": "Wally interviews a person to pretend he is Wally and attend meetings on Wally's behalf." }, { "date": "2010-05-14", "synopsis": "Dilbert takes on the world's worst user interface." }, { "date": "2010-05-15", "synopsis": "Ratbert's job on the customer support line is to prevent the caller from talking with anyone important." }, { "date": "2010-05-16", "synopsis": "The Boss is in awe of an engineer named Wolfgang, who knows more than the rest of the engineers put together." }, { "date": "2010-05-17", "synopsis": "Mordac makes an unwanted upgrade to Dilbert's operating system." }, { "date": "2010-05-18", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice to bring in a new account. In return he'll give her a raise later, unless there's no money." }, { "date": "2010-05-19", "synopsis": "The Boss says they're in merger talks. Wally celebrates by saying now his work won't influence his rewards." }, { "date": "2010-05-20", "synopsis": "The Boss and Dilbert think a cabbage got access to the Boss's computer." }, { "date": "2010-05-21", "synopsis": "Dilbert collects optimistic data, massages it and hands it to the Boss for him to add leadership." }, { "date": "2010-05-22", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice for honest feedback on his strategy." }, { "date": "2010-05-23", "synopsis": "Dilbert finishes a business case, but the Boss won't get funding like he promised." }, { "date": "2010-05-24", "synopsis": "Wally attaches a faucet to his head that is activated by the Boss's voice." }, { "date": "2010-05-25", "synopsis": "Alice volunteered to run a critical project she knows doesn't have enough resources." }, { "date": "2010-05-26", "synopsis": "Alice controls men by exaggerating the importance of her projects and overextending herself." }, { "date": "2010-05-27", "synopsis": "Ted asks the Boss for a letter of reference. The Boss suggests the letter \"L'." }, { "date": "2010-05-28", "synopsis": "Wally is doing lots of basic research but it won't be quantifiable for ten years." }, { "date": "2010-05-29", "synopsis": "Wally tests his theory that eating doughnuts make other people stupid." }, { "date": "2010-05-30", "synopsis": "Wally didn't get any work done because he spent all his time on getting certification." }, { "date": "2010-05-31", "synopsis": "Dilbert calls another engineers data weak, and the two duel by exchanging links." }, { "date": "2010-06-01", "synopsis": "Dilbert criticises his date's beliefs in feng shui, homoeopathy and horoscopes." }, { "date": "2010-06-02", "synopsis": "Dilbert presents some product names that are still available. No one likes them so he says the only ones left are names of accused war criminals and nicknames for masturbation." }, { "date": "2010-06-03", "synopsis": "Wally asks if core systems are more important than key processes. The Boss can't answer so Wally continues to act randomly." }, { "date": "2010-06-04", "synopsis": "At Dogbert's school of time management, students learn good time management is the same as bad manners." }, { "date": "2010-06-05", "synopsis": "The Boss sets Dilbert's goal to win 30% more bids. Dilbert says there's no problem as he'll use magic to accomplish it." }, { "date": "2010-06-06", "synopsis": "Tina collects money for Ted's birthday but Alice doesn't want to donate because she hates him." }, { "date": "2010-06-07", "synopsis": "The engineers deduce the Boss's strategy. He gets paid for doing little more than giving stupid labels to things." }, { "date": "2010-06-08", "synopsis": "Carol asks Dilbert to have birthday cake in the break room but Dilbert doesn't want cake with spit from recent candle-blowing." }, { "date": "2010-06-09", "synopsis": "Wally maps applications to domains, and defined interfaces between applications and the software interfaces." }, { "date": "2010-06-10", "synopsis": "The Boss announces employee satisfaction has doubled since last year. Credit goes to the policy of firing smart people." }, { "date": "2010-06-11", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Wally to do something, but he says he's busy doing important things for other people." }, { "date": "2010-06-12", "synopsis": "Wally shows a co-worker how to jack into matrix management. Using an iPod and PowerPoint." }, { "date": "2010-06-13", "synopsis": "Dogbert explains a leader becomes good by encouraging internal critics to explore all sides of an issue. Dilbert rebuts a poor leader can't select critics either." }, { "date": "2010-06-14", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants his phone upgraded so prepares to spend the afternoon at a store to do it." }, { "date": "2010-06-15", "synopsis": "Dilbert demonstrates his Dogbert App and kills a co-worker." }, { "date": "2010-06-16", "synopsis": "Wally makes a deal with Carol. She reserves all boardrooms in his name for a year. Then he doesn't have to go to meetings and she doesn't have to book any meetings." }, { "date": "2010-06-17", "synopsis": "Carol tells Wally she loves him and will stalk him, all for helping her avoid work." }, { "date": "2010-06-18", "synopsis": "Tina asks a psychologist whether she is crazy for buying so many phone apps she doesn't need." }, { "date": "2010-06-19", "synopsis": "Dogbert helps design an extended warranty plan, one that doesn't cover anything." }, { "date": "2010-06-20", "synopsis": "The Boss says decision making is a process. Dilbert questions why can't computers do it then. The Boss says it's a gut feeling." }, { "date": "2010-06-21", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a co-worker for something to be done by tomorrow, then panics when he says he can do it." }, { "date": "2010-06-22", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date says she likes a man to cook for her. Dilbert wonders whether she likes affection or just free catering." }, { "date": "2010-06-23", "synopsis": "Wally mis-hears \"review the client's specs\" as \"preview the lion's pecs\"." }, { "date": "2010-06-24", "synopsis": "Dilbert praises Wally for his plan to mis-hear what people ask him, thereby avoiding work." }, { "date": "2010-06-25", "synopsis": "After a presentation, Dilbert's audience falls into a Powerpoint coma. So he puts them into funny poses and leaves." }, { "date": "2010-06-26", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for failure estimates for the next gen product. Dilbert asks if it's OK to provide numbers based on hallucinations." }, { "date": "2010-06-27", "synopsis": "Tina asks Dilbert for help with her computer. Dilbert says he's doomed whether he helps or not." }, { "date": "2010-06-28", "synopsis": "Dilbert says his estimates are based on input from people who just wanted to be left alone, so he doesn't want to stand by the numbers." }, { "date": "2010-06-29", "synopsis": "Dilbert puts his faith into a slug, who must do his work in a timely manner in order for Dilbert to succeed." }, { "date": "2010-06-30", "synopsis": "Dilbert reports their product placed last in the benchmark tests. The Boss crumples the report and throws it at Dilbert." }, { "date": "2010-07-01", "synopsis": "Dilbert must coordinate with many managers, clients, project leaders, planners. So many people that he wants to give up." }, { "date": "2010-07-02", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to do more forecasts. Dilbert asks what problem that will solve." }, { "date": "2010-07-03", "synopsis": "A rat with a dartboard can manage pension funds as well as anyone. Ratbert, however, can't." }, { "date": "2010-07-04", "synopsis": "Wally is asked to respond to an RFQ but must evaluate the request among all the other requests for his time. He'll decide after the deadline has passed." }, { "date": "2010-07-05", "synopsis": "Wally decides he must get more into the work-life balance he heard about. Since he was up all night thinking about work, he's unsure what to do at work." }, { "date": "2010-07-06", "synopsis": "The Boss has installed so many toolbars on his browser that his browser window is only an inch tall." }, { "date": "2010-07-07", "synopsis": "The Boss reports to the CEO none of their oil rigs exploded, nor are their pharmaceuticals tainted, nor is the government investigating their financial practises." }, { "date": "2010-07-08", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice to present to the sales division. She is nervous about public speaking so gets dehydrated." }, { "date": "2010-07-09", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Asok to present to the sales division. He is nervous about public speaking and his stomach comes out his mouth." }, { "date": "2010-07-10", "synopsis": "The Boss sends all the engineers to a public speaking class. He wants them to get rid of their nervous habits." }, { "date": "2010-07-11", "synopsis": "The Boss wants the employees to feel ownership for change. The engineers are worried about what changes are coming." }, { "date": "2010-07-12", "synopsis": "The Boss asks a prospective salesman if he likes to travel. The salesman says yes, and the Boss accuses him of being an idiot." }, { "date": "2010-07-13", "synopsis": "Dilbert can't get the rental car he reserved because the rental agency is in the business of selling car insurance and overpriced gas." }, { "date": "2010-07-14", "synopsis": "Dilbert arrives at a meeting with low self-esteem from his tiny rental car." }, { "date": "2010-07-15", "synopsis": "Wally announces he now has enough money to retire, and wants to find a witty name for that amount of money." }, { "date": "2010-07-16", "synopsis": "The Boss shows Dilbert a way to keep the best talent from leaving -- a head mounted on a robot body." }, { "date": "2010-07-17", "synopsis": "Wally tells the Boss he's on his way to meet with a prospective customer. His efforts won't be known for at least two years." }, { "date": "2010-07-18", "synopsis": "The Marketing video shows inaccurate technology claims and the engineers want to provide comments even though the video is already released." }, { "date": "2010-07-19", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks if Dilbert wants his opinion. Dilbert says he'll listen but ignore it." }, { "date": "2010-07-20", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert he wouldn't worry about Dilbert losing his job after the merger." }, { "date": "2010-07-21", "synopsis": "The people buying the company don't know about Alice's project, and she's not allowed to talk with the buyers." }, { "date": "2010-07-22", "synopsis": "Dilbert invents a brain scanner that can predict buying decisions. The Boss wants to kill Dilbert and take credit." }, { "date": "2010-07-23", "synopsis": "The CEO takes an interest in Dilbert's death ray invention, even though Dilbert says it's not a death ray." }, { "date": "2010-07-24", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Garbageman how to prevent his invention from being used as a death ray." }, { "date": "2010-07-25", "synopsis": "The Boss is pleased a project is being transferred to his department. It's flashy and sexy but ultimately not worth funding." }, { "date": "2010-07-26", "synopsis": "Wally is put in charge of a light show and weapon demo in New York harbour." }, { "date": "2010-07-27", "synopsis": "The CEO asks Dogbert for advice on how to handle PR after the company destroys the Statue of Liberty." }, { "date": "2010-07-28", "synopsis": "Dogbert helps improve the company's image after they accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty. Its head is floating toward Cuba and will probably need to be sunk." }, { "date": "2010-07-29", "synopsis": "Dogbert helps the CEO show some fake remorse so the public will forgive." }, { "date": "2010-07-30", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date suggests they take a pottery class together. He replies he doesn't want any expensive, unattractive dishware." }, { "date": "2010-07-31", "synopsis": "Dilbert says there's no objective standard for how much to accomplish each day, nor is there any way to know if things would turn out better if he would have done things differently." }, { "date": "2010-08-01", "synopsis": "Dilbert's Mom calls him to ask for technical support for a rebate form, laptop, TV and ringtone. Dilbert suspects it's to prevent him from moving back home." }, { "date": "2010-08-02", "synopsis": "Wally reports to the Boss he's running a batch job while talking so is accomplishing two things at once." }, { "date": "2010-08-03", "synopsis": "Dogbert the empire consultant advises the Boss to make his employees less productive. That way he can hire more of them." }, { "date": "2010-08-04", "synopsis": "Dogbert the empire consultant says the Boss should be nearby when something good happens so he can share in the credit." }, { "date": "2010-08-05", "synopsis": "The Boss adds his name to Dilbert's patent application. The reasoning is the Boss didn't prevent Dilbert from working on it so should share the credit." }, { "date": "2010-08-06", "synopsis": "Dilbert introduces two people at a meeting, one who has no reason for being present, the other who is a total waste of protein." }, { "date": "2010-08-07", "synopsis": "Dilbert finishes his presentation and thanks everyone for their apathy. Especially those people who actually stayed awake." }, { "date": "2010-08-08", "synopsis": "Carol takes a phone call from her kids while Dilbert is trying to ask her to do something." }, { "date": "2010-08-09", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to work on a highly secret project, and when he's done, to dig his own grave and beat himself to death." }, { "date": "2010-08-10", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for information from a co-worker for his confidential project." }, { "date": "2010-08-11", "synopsis": "Dilbert reports the new performance test returns flawed results so asks permission to fake the data for the customers." }, { "date": "2010-08-12", "synopsis": "The Boss shows off his new vampire tips on his teeth." }, { "date": "2010-08-13", "synopsis": "Dogbert recommends corporate suicide because they're a third-rate company in a dying industry." }, { "date": "2010-08-14", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells his mom his company is going web-only. She asks if the next step is to operate only in people's imaginations." }, { "date": "2010-08-15", "synopsis": "The Boss asks the group to split into smaller groups to discuss options. Dilbert wonders why smaller groups are better." }, { "date": "2010-08-16", "synopsis": "An engineer shows the Boss a music device to read brains and select music that fits the listener's mood. The Boss instantly kills him." }, { "date": "2010-08-17", "synopsis": "The Boss wears a black turtleneck and old-man jeans." }, { "date": "2010-08-18", "synopsis": "The Boss, with his Steve Jobs-inspired look, uses his phone's browser to impress people." }, { "date": "2010-08-19", "synopsis": "The Boss announces the company is reincorporating in Dogbertland for tax reasons." }, { "date": "2010-08-20", "synopsis": "A CEO introduces the new head regulator for the industry. The regulator fits in the CEO's shirt pocket.", "note": "On his blog, Scott Adams published an enlargement of the first panel showing the tiny person." }, { "date": "2010-08-21", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Rodney, a man covered in bandages who is in charge of product safety testing." }, { "date": "2010-08-22", "synopsis": "Dilbert believes he has died and become a ghost. That's because no one responds to his e-mails or phone calls or makes eye contact with him." }, { "date": "2010-08-23", "synopsis": "There's a baby shower for Kim who is having triplets. Dilbert gets a gift." }, { "date": "2010-08-24", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to delete unnecessary data from their servers to make room. Dilbert says it's all unnecessary anyway." }, { "date": "2010-08-25", "synopsis": "Carol tells the Boss she managed his calendar based solely on what would create the least amount of work for her." }, { "date": "2010-08-26", "synopsis": "Wally says he's already forgotten everything that was said at the beginning of their meeting." }, { "date": "2010-08-27", "synopsis": "Wally is not a morning person, and gets sleepy in the afternoon. He is good for an hour at lunchtime, though." }, { "date": "2010-08-28", "synopsis": "The media is critical the company uses Elbonian slave labour. The Boss says it's not as bad as it sounds." }, { "date": "2010-08-29", "synopsis": "A new salesman asks Dilbert to have lunch so he can explain about their new products. Dilbert doesn't want to because new people chip away at his freedom." }, { "date": "2010-08-30", "synopsis": "Catbert tells Alice she got the internal job she applied for. But she'll have to keep doing her old job too." }, { "date": "2010-08-31", "synopsis": "Alice tells Dilbert she's doing two jobs now. Dilbert complains he's heard it too many times." }, { "date": "2010-09-01", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert why he doesn't trust management. He learned this from the company's anonymous online employee survey." }, { "date": "2010-09-02", "synopsis": "Catbert asks Wally about his comments on the anonymous employee survey. They're disturbingly close to the Unabomber's manifesto." }, { "date": "2010-09-03", "synopsis": "The company lawyer recommends a product recall. The product explodes when it warms up and shoots poisonous spines in all directions." }, { "date": "2010-09-04", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to clean up after their product kills customers." }, { "date": "2010-09-05", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Wally to make a small change to the website and gets upset when he requests a business case." }, { "date": "2010-09-06", "synopsis": "Dilbert is transferred to the crime scene cleanup subsidiary." }, { "date": "2010-09-07", "synopsis": "Dilbert wears his dirty crime-scene overalls to a party and receives a compliment." }, { "date": "2010-09-08", "synopsis": "Ratbert joins Dilbert to clean up crime scenes." }, { "date": "2010-09-09", "synopsis": "There's no budget for cleaning supplies on the crime scene cleanup crew." }, { "date": "2010-09-10", "synopsis": "The crime scene cleaning division is closed down because Ratbert put human remains in the recycling bins." }, { "date": "2010-09-11", "synopsis": "Catbert asks a Frankenstein monster to run focus groups for existing products." }, { "date": "2010-09-12", "synopsis": "The Boss kicks the engineers out of a boardroom even though Dilbert had the room booked for months." }, { "date": "2010-09-13", "synopsis": "The new marketing manager for social media is introduced. She's not allowed to use Facebook or Twitter, nor can she work from home." }, { "date": "2010-09-14", "synopsis": "Beth, the marketing manager for social media, compares her job to herding cats, and many of the cats are drunk and stupid." }, { "date": "2010-09-15", "synopsis": "The Boss's minutes are tweeted instantly by the engineers." }, { "date": "2010-09-16", "synopsis": "Asok gets a book deal by tweeting the dumb things the Boss says." }, { "date": "2010-09-17", "synopsis": "Dogbert the publisher assigns an editor to tighten up Asok's first book draft." }, { "date": "2010-09-18", "synopsis": "Asok is excited his book will soon be published. The other engineers want to read pirated copies." }, { "date": "2010-09-19", "synopsis": "The Boss tries to pick a technical proposal but doesn't understand either of them. So he gives the authors an intelligence test to decide which to pick." }, { "date": "2010-09-20", "synopsis": "Alice demonstrates her pain to the Boss so he will understand software is not created by magic." }, { "date": "2010-09-21", "synopsis": "The new product is a block of wood. When customers complain it won't make phone calls, the company will blame the network." }, { "date": "2010-09-22", "synopsis": "Dogbert tries to find a charismatic pitchman to get gullible consumers to buy the block of wood." }, { "date": "2010-09-23", "synopsis": "Dogbert sells blocks of wood and uses a reality distortion field to convince the audience." }, { "date": "2010-09-24", "synopsis": "The Boss sends Dilbert on a course to get rid of his personality." }, { "date": "2010-09-25", "synopsis": "On Dogbert's communications skills training, they learn how to listen to idiots without snorting." }, { "date": "2010-09-26", "synopsis": "Wally interviews an applicant to see if he's right for the company. Wally says standards for hiring employees have fallen a lot." }, { "date": "2010-09-27", "synopsis": "Dilbert can't give his opinion at a meeting because he was thinking about something useful instead.", "note": "This strip is #3 on Scott's list of 10 favourite strips." }, { "date": "2010-09-28", "synopsis": "Alice introduces her new boyfriend, Angry Jack, to Dilbert. He is a good engineer but has poor social skills." }, { "date": "2010-09-29", "synopsis": "Alice's new boyfriend once beat up a busser for bringing a bent fork. Carol says that's a red flag." }, { "date": "2010-09-30", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Asok not to be afraid of change. Asok interprets that to be that he should be more like the Boss." }, { "date": "2010-10-01", "synopsis": "The new marketing campaign depends on word of mouth. Unfortunately, they have a bad product so they found a guy with poor judgement and a loud mouth to say good things." }, { "date": "2010-10-02", "synopsis": "The new ad campaign will portray competitor's products as baby-eating hobos, and their product as being used by the coolest guy in the world." }, { "date": "2010-10-03", "synopsis": "Dilbert is questioned on how he will be measuring progress along the way. One asks if Dilbert will be using an advanced assessment methodology." }, { "date": "2010-10-04", "synopsis": "A marketing guy complains to Catbert she broke his arm. Catbert says he will compare economic values of each to decide who to fire." }, { "date": "2010-10-05", "synopsis": "The business strategy is a combination of cognitive bias and inaccurate information." }, { "date": "2010-10-06", "synopsis": "Dogbert tells the managers no one wants to buy a criminally mismanaged company, so that's a good strategy for avoiding an unfriendly takeover." }, { "date": "2010-10-07", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol how he can make her feel more inspired by her work. She doesn't think it can happen." }, { "date": "2010-10-08", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to bring a handsome guy with him when he meets with an attractive young woman customer." }, { "date": "2010-10-09", "synopsis": "The Boss sends Wally on a mission: to assassinate the motivation of the Boss's rival." }, { "date": "2010-10-10", "synopsis": "Wally gives the Boss a lecture on how progress in difficult to measure when coding software." }, { "date": "2010-10-11", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Carol he shot an elk on his hunting trip. She is skeptical." }, { "date": "2010-10-12", "synopsis": "Dogbert the consultant convinces the CEO to sell his customer data. The CEO is concerned about privacy but Dogbert tells him not to worry." }, { "date": "2010-10-13", "synopsis": "Dogbert recommends selling customer data. It's ethical because the customers would do the same thing to the company if they could." }, { "date": "2010-10-14", "synopsis": "The Boss learns customers are complaining because the company sold their personal data to identity thieves." }, { "date": "2010-10-15", "synopsis": "The Boss holds a brainstorming session to find ways to regain the trust of their customers." }, { "date": "2010-10-16", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Asok to act as if he owned the company. Asok immediately fires the Boss." }, { "date": "2010-10-17", "synopsis": "Wally is to take a bag of gold to Elbonia and leave it at the statue of the monkey god, Oobanoobah, to give the minister of mud some incentive." }, { "date": "2010-10-18", "synopsis": "The Boss adjusts Ken's sales bonus threshold upwards because Ken reached it too easily." }, { "date": "2010-10-19", "synopsis": "After the Boss changed Ken's sales bonus level, Ken complains to Catbert. Catbert finds it funny." }, { "date": "2010-10-20", "synopsis": "Ken asks Dilbert to cross-train as an engineer. Dilbert says Ken needs a larger brain." }, { "date": "2010-10-21", "synopsis": "The Boss looks for ideas after Walmart sells knockoffs of their products for nine cents each." }, { "date": "2010-10-22", "synopsis": "Ted says his friend matrix has a few gaps, and asks Dilbert if he wants in." }, { "date": "2010-10-23", "synopsis": "The Boss reviews Dilbert's objectives, one of which is to toil hard to increase the wealth of stockholders." }, { "date": "2010-10-24", "synopsis": "Dilbert accompanies the best sales guy on a sales call. Dilbert puts a bag over his head halfway through." }, { "date": "2010-10-25", "synopsis": "Since there's no buzzword-babbling idiot at the meeting today, Asok graciously agrees to fill in." }, { "date": "2010-10-26", "synopsis": "Dilbert says the project plan is so complicated it is doomed, and waits for the Boss to make it fail." }, { "date": "2010-10-27", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells his date he clings to the walls of his cubicle consumed by the vortex of failure." }, { "date": "2010-10-28", "synopsis": "Wally starts being more entrepreneurial at his job. He says failing ninety percent of the time is similar to not trying at all." }, { "date": "2010-10-29", "synopsis": "The Boss promotes Asok from intern to limbo. Asok is excited he will exist." }, { "date": "2010-10-30", "synopsis": "Ted has done nothing but update his Facebook page and so is promoted to marketing manager for social networks." }, { "date": "2010-10-31", "synopsis": "Dilbert has to analyse the alternatives to getting training before the Boss will approve funding." }, { "date": "2010-11-01", "synopsis": "Catbert complains to the Boss he eats his lunch in the clean room." }, { "date": "2010-11-02", "synopsis": "Alice says the only problems she has are the kind the Boss makes worse." }, { "date": "2010-11-03", "synopsis": "Ted asks Alice what she thinks of his plan. Alice thinks his brain is tiny and he staggers." }, { "date": "2010-11-04", "synopsis": "Dilbert thinks he's king of the cubicles because he has two monitors." }, { "date": "2010-11-05", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to do some technical stuff without understanding what he is asking." }, { "date": "2010-11-06", "synopsis": "Wally reports people with bad bosses have 40% more heart attacks. Then a man at the meeting has a heart attack." }, { "date": "2010-11-07", "synopsis": "Dilbert thanks everyone for help design the technology test parameters even though the parameters had nothing to do with the real world." }, { "date": "2010-11-08", "synopsis": "Dogbert says the Boss is a great role model. Half of his employees are already pudgy sociopaths." }, { "date": "2010-11-09", "synopsis": "The Boss comes to Dilbert's cubicle and says he's a role model for Dilbert." }, { "date": "2010-11-10", "synopsis": "Dogbert the security consultant says anyone without an ID badge is an enemy combatant." }, { "date": "2010-11-11", "synopsis": "The Boss says half his job is to provide a safe environment for employees to make mistakes and the other half is to punish those who make mistakes." }, { "date": "2010-11-12", "synopsis": "The Boss complains Wally is two hours late. Wally said he was doing e-mail in the parking lot." }, { "date": "2010-11-13", "synopsis": "A stockholder drops in on a meeting to see how his investment is progressing." }, { "date": "2010-11-14", "synopsis": "Alice shows her anger when a co-worker doesn't respond to her e-mail. He says he forgets to check it sometimes." }, { "date": "2010-11-15", "synopsis": "Dilbert says he didn't have time to respond to a co-worker's request for information." }, { "date": "2010-11-16", "synopsis": "Wally tries confusing Asok at a meeting. He explains by saying nothing he says at a meeting actually means anything." }, { "date": "2010-11-17", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a question to a man who could not summarise. He takes hours to get to the answer." }, { "date": "2010-11-18", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells the Boss his e-mail almost makes sense. He says he will act randomly and hope for the best." }, { "date": "2010-11-19", "synopsis": "The new website was launched today but it's already obsolete. Every vendor they hired is out of business. And the website just crashed." }, { "date": "2010-11-20", "synopsis": "Wally complains the Boss hasn't provided motivation. The Boss says money shouldn't be a motivator." }, { "date": "2010-11-21", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks if a vendor's pricing is intentionally confusing. The vendor says yes it is and it's the basis for a confusopoly." }, { "date": "2010-11-22", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Wally to spare a minute. Wally says he is too busy but all his exits are blocked." }, { "date": "2010-11-23", "synopsis": "Dilbert says the request for a quote is vague, and the deadline is tomorrow so he can't ask for clarification." }, { "date": "2010-11-24", "synopsis": "Dogbert phones people for research. He asks for social security numbers, bank PIN numbers and mother's maiden names." }, { "date": "2010-11-25", "synopsis": "Asok requested an Ethernet switch and Purchasing provided a box of pencils. Asok complains to Bob, director of purchasing." }, { "date": "2010-11-26", "synopsis": "Bob, director of purchasing, has divided products into two categories. Things you don't want and things you're not allowed to buy." }, { "date": "2010-11-27", "synopsis": "The CEO asks Dilbert to assemble the supreme leadership board because he's ready to name an heir." }, { "date": "2010-11-28", "synopsis": "The CEO gives a pep talk. No one responds." }, { "date": "2010-11-29", "synopsis": "The CEO is grooming a winged monkey as his successor." }, { "date": "2010-11-30", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a sales guy for a quote. The sales guy thinks Dilbert will never buy his product." }, { "date": "2010-12-01", "synopsis": "Dilbert offers Amber some money to be his friend on Facebook. That makes her a frienditute." }, { "date": "2010-12-02", "synopsis": "The Boss says an old employee kept his job because no one else has his critical knowledge. Then the old employee passes away.", "note": "This strip is #2 on Scott's list of 10 favourite strips." }, { "date": "2010-12-03", "synopsis": "Dilbert arrives to work and picks a fantasy to stave off madness." }, { "date": "2010-12-04", "synopsis": "Phil accuses Dilbert of being happy at work. He is sentenced to attend a horrible meeting." }, { "date": "2010-12-05", "synopsis": "Dilbert says his design plan is too complex for the Boss to understand so he highlights some suboptimal areas for the Boss to intervene." }, { "date": "2010-12-06", "synopsis": "Asok asks the Boss if he is interrupting. The Boss' body language indicates he is." }, { "date": "2010-12-07", "synopsis": "The Boss asks the engineers if they can define \"values.\" Dilbert says they are an emotional illusion." }, { "date": "2010-12-08", "synopsis": "Dilbert invents a drug that makes people do stupid things, then put in into a dart. Dogbert wants a big supply." }, { "date": "2010-12-09", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells a news reporter about his drug that makes people do stupid things." }, { "date": "2010-12-10", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Amber to a movie. He says one of them will hate the movie." }, { "date": "2010-12-11", "synopsis": "Dogbert says the only important technologies are social networks, phones and games. Everyone who is not working on those gets put in the dustbin of history." }, { "date": "2010-12-12", "synopsis": "Wally trains the new mailroom guy. All important messages are sent by e-mail so all paper mail can go into the recycling bins." }, { "date": "2010-12-13", "synopsis": "Dogbert recalibrates his lack of faith in humanity. He starts by reading opinions on message boards." }, { "date": "2010-12-14", "synopsis": "Dilbert does not want to participate in a masters forum to share knowledge across disciplines." }, { "date": "2010-12-15", "synopsis": "Wally asks for Dilbert's opinion on his new goatee." }, { "date": "2010-12-16", "synopsis": "A co-worker says all uncool people either have facial hair or no facial hair, so there's no place for him to go." }, { "date": "2010-12-17", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to introduce himself to a new co-worker. Instead she does facial recognition to search social media for a full biography." }, { "date": "2010-12-18", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss to not eat a noisy bag of chips next to the speakerphone." }, { "date": "2010-12-19", "synopsis": "The Boss says everyone should feel empowered on this project. Dilbert says the Boss didn't get their buy-in before making everyone empowered." }, { "date": "2010-12-20", "synopsis": "Dilbert is the victim of a meeting pirate, who takes over the meeting and gets credit." }, { "date": "2010-12-21", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Wally to attend a meeting. Wally says he'll meet her half-way." }, { "date": "2010-12-22", "synopsis": "Alice complains a co-worker said the same thing 27 times using different words." }, { "date": "2010-12-23", "synopsis": "An old employee says he has thirty years experience in the industry. Asok says that doesn't help for a technology that's six months old in a youth-oriented culture." }, { "date": "2010-12-24", "synopsis": "Dogbert becomes even more antisocial by talking over what other people say." }, { "date": "2010-12-25", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Dogbert imagine giving each other gifts." }, { "date": "2010-12-26", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Dilbert if he read the long e-mail. Dilbert says he did not." }, { "date": "2010-12-27", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Dogbert to cheer him up. Dogbert says the secret is to compare yourself against a group worse off." }, { "date": "2010-12-28", "synopsis": "Dogbert says a \"Dutch Sandwich\" will lower their corporate taxes." }, { "date": "2010-12-29", "synopsis": "Alice complains to a co-worker he always avoids answering questions by e-mail." }, { "date": "2010-12-30", "synopsis": "Dilbert says a competitor from the future is sending robots back in time to terminate their company." }, { "date": "2010-12-31", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Amber to celebrate New Year's Eve with him. She says maybe." }, { "date": "2011-01-01", "synopsis": "Dogbert presents a list of demands for Dilbert's new year's resolutions." }, { "date": "2011-01-02", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks if Dilbert would like to join them for lunch. Dilbert declines because they haven't decided where to go." }, { "date": "2011-01-03", "synopsis": "The Boss tells an interviewee the company is very green. That includes selling his kids for carbon credits." }, { "date": "2011-01-04", "synopsis": "Alice complains a co-worker looks like Bilbo Baggins and that is distracting." }, { "date": "2011-01-05", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert if he is confident in his cost predictions. Dilbert says he trusts them like he trusts the Boss." }, { "date": "2011-01-06", "synopsis": "Wally says there was many different ways to interpret the Boss' voicemail instructions so he chose to do nothing." }, { "date": "2011-01-07", "synopsis": "Dogbert helps the company to evolve their products into cloud computing. Dogbert says \"Blah Blah Cloud.\"" }, { "date": "2011-01-08", "synopsis": "Wally decides to be more of a big picture guy. Lesser people can manage and implement while he criticises." }, { "date": "2011-01-09", "synopsis": "A co-worker tries to disagree with Dilbert but Dilbert says that's because he doesn't understand." }, { "date": "2011-01-10", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells the Boss it's customary to respond to a question with an answer." }, { "date": "2011-01-11", "synopsis": "Dilbert sees a doctor because he can't stop voicing his honest opinion. The doctor says being an engineer is classified as a disease now." }, { "date": "2011-01-12", "synopsis": "Dilbert is suffering from Pon Farr. Vulcans and engineers go into heat every seven years." }, { "date": "2011-01-13", "synopsis": "Dilbert and Alice are both suffering from Pon Farr. They have an irresistible urge to mate." }, { "date": "2011-01-14", "synopsis": "A co-worker says Dilbert's ideas have already been tried and failed miserably." }, { "date": "2011-01-15", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains he was the only one to think the project was a bad idea and he got assigned to it." }, { "date": "2011-01-16", "synopsis": "The meeting room is already in use so the engineers find another room. Or not find a room." }, { "date": "2011-01-17", "synopsis": "When the Boss understands a concept it marks the beginning of its decline." }, { "date": "2011-01-18", "synopsis": "Dogbert, at a sales training seminar, says the salesman's job is to get low quotas from their boss." }, { "date": "2011-01-19", "synopsis": "Dilbert interviews for another job. They offer less pay." }, { "date": "2011-01-20", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Wally his interview went well even though it was a worse job for less pay." }, { "date": "2011-01-21", "synopsis": "The Boss says they're not as creative as Apple and not powerful enough for a fast-follower strategy." }, { "date": "2011-01-22", "synopsis": "Alice complains Google gave an engineer millions of dollars. The Boss says he'll try to fix that." }, { "date": "2011-01-23", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces a Frendor, not quite a friend and not quite a vendor." }, { "date": "2011-01-24", "synopsis": "Alice rejected the Boss's Facebook friend request. The Boss asks why." }, { "date": "2011-01-25", "synopsis": "The government will give tax incentives for new capital investments, an accounting troll says. Dilbert says they'll get right on it." }, { "date": "2011-01-26", "synopsis": "The Boss announces tax cuts will be used for executive bonuses, and the company won't do any new projects." }, { "date": "2011-01-27", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Asok to go to Elbonia using the underground route from Switzerland." }, { "date": "2011-01-28", "synopsis": "Asok gets frisked going through airport security." }, { "date": "2011-01-29", "synopsis": "The Boss learns Asok is being held for ransom by terrorists." }, { "date": "2011-01-30", "synopsis": "Ruth asks Dilbert for his input on a document. Dilbert is reluctant to give his full opinion." }, { "date": "2011-01-31", "synopsis": "Asok reports to the Boss after being freed by terrorists. He thought he'd never be released because the Boss refused to pay." }, { "date": "2011-02-01", "synopsis": "Alice thinks the Boss's writing is horrible, but he only wants her to review the technical part of the document." }, { "date": "2011-02-02", "synopsis": "The Boss motivates Dilbert by displaying his own sense of passion and purpose." }, { "date": "2011-02-03", "synopsis": "Dilbert says the return on software without bugs is 10% and buggy software is 40% because of upgrades and service." }, { "date": "2011-02-04", "synopsis": "The Boss abuses Dilbert because the new unemployment statistics are out." }, { "date": "2011-02-05", "synopsis": "Topper wants to explain a simple solution to Dilbert's problem, but only after the other meeting attendees have gone." }, { "date": "2011-02-06", "synopsis": "Dilbert works with the web designer to explain their new product on the website." }, { "date": "2011-02-07", "synopsis": "Topper brags he is taller than Dilbert and his powerpoint slides are hanging in the Louvre." }, { "date": "2011-02-08", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains to accounting his project got charged for expenses that aren't his." }, { "date": "2011-02-09", "synopsis": "Wally literally interprets the instructions the Boss sent by text message, even though auto-correct messed up the message." }, { "date": "2011-02-10", "synopsis": "Dogbert says the company is irrelevant, and forms breakout groups to discuss it." }, { "date": "2011-02-11", "synopsis": "Facebook has created a giant robot to steal talented employees from other companies." }, { "date": "2011-02-12", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells his date he is developing an app. She gives him a lottery ticket to double his odds of success." }, { "date": "2011-02-13", "synopsis": "The Boss wants the team to do more with less. They suggest less meetings, less micromanagement, but the Boss says less money." }, { "date": "2011-02-14", "synopsis": "The media asks the CEO to donate his fortune to charity. The CEO says that's not for him, only billionaires." }, { "date": "2011-02-15", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to program the website to collect browser history from their visitors." }, { "date": "2011-02-16", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Tina to be in charge of their move to the new building." }, { "date": "2011-02-17", "synopsis": "Tina says the new cubicles will be death-eater gray, and will absorb happiness from those standing near it." }, { "date": "2011-02-18", "synopsis": "Tina puts Alice in a cubicle between a loud talker and a chronic flatulator." }, { "date": "2011-02-19", "synopsis": "Wally can't help a co-worker because the team is moving to a new office." }, { "date": "2011-02-20", "synopsis": "The Boss has to compete with all the other departments for funding. All the other departments are professional liars." }, { "date": "2011-02-21", "synopsis": "Wally used up the entire engineering budget just learning the new technology." }, { "date": "2011-02-22", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the company lawyer for advice. The lawyer says it's a big risk, no matter what." }, { "date": "2011-02-23", "synopsis": "Dilbert signs the maintenance agreement without understanding it." }, { "date": "2011-02-24", "synopsis": "A man comes to collect Dilbert's internal organs because Dilbert signed a services agreement without understanding it." }, { "date": "2011-02-25", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the company lawyer for advice on how to get out of a contract that promises his internal organs." }, { "date": "2011-02-26", "synopsis": "The company lawyer advises Dilbert to get out of them harvesting his internal organs by getting an attractive woman to certify he has cooties." }, { "date": "2011-02-27", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to replace the old server with a new one. Dilbert is surprised the Boss's instructions make sense." }, { "date": "2011-02-28", "synopsis": "Dogbert advises the company on how to secure a long-term supply of rare earth metals from China." }, { "date": "2011-03-01", "synopsis": "The Boss says the government wants the company to get rid of radioactive waste. He also gives away motivational paperweights." }, { "date": "2011-03-02", "synopsis": "Wally asks if he should manage issues or align organisational activities with shareholder expectations." }, { "date": "2011-03-03", "synopsis": "The Boss shows Ted an app that whines and begs not to be fired." }, { "date": "2011-03-04", "synopsis": "Alice and Dilbert bring large barf bags to the consumer electronics show." }, { "date": "2011-03-05", "synopsis": "A booth babe at the trade show wants to know if Dilbert is interested in the product or is just trying to chat her up." }, { "date": "2011-03-06", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to be more proactive. Dilbert says the Boss always asks Dilbert to do things he already planned." }, { "date": "2011-03-07", "synopsis": "Dilbert returned from the trade show and looks smaller because it was so huge it made him feel small." }, { "date": "2011-03-08", "synopsis": "Wally considered getting an earring to appear more fascinating." }, { "date": "2011-03-09", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss to be open-minded about his idea. The Boss dreads the worst." }, { "date": "2011-03-10", "synopsis": "A co-worker keeps closing the blinds because of screen glare." }, { "date": "2011-03-11", "synopsis": "Dogbert says meetings go faster if people don't sit." }, { "date": "2011-03-12", "synopsis": "Wally is too busy working on a social network strategy for their global supply chain." }, { "date": "2011-03-13", "synopsis": "The Boss can't sign off on a plan that's too expensive even though doing nothing will cost twice as much." }, { "date": "2011-03-14", "synopsis": "Wally e-mails the CEO with a terrific-sounding idea and so gets the entire budget." }, { "date": "2011-03-15", "synopsis": "Topper dismisses Dilbert's idea and insults him at the same time." }, { "date": "2011-03-16", "synopsis": "Scientists say exercise makes the brain work better. The Boss hasn't exercised since the eighties." }, { "date": "2011-03-17", "synopsis": "Tina complains visiting a friend will be too expensive. Dilbert suggests offering money to the friend instead." }, { "date": "2011-03-18", "synopsis": "Wally explains he had trouble with his ear so couldn't return a co-worker's phone calls." }, { "date": "2011-03-19", "synopsis": "Alice is excited when the Boss asks her to fill in for him. She wants to belittle her new subordinates." }, { "date": "2011-03-20", "synopsis": "Wally shows Asok how to get numbers that probably don't exist. They're the same as random numbers." }, { "date": "2011-03-21", "synopsis": "Alice leads a meeting in the Boss's place. She brags she's better than everyone else." }, { "date": "2011-03-22", "synopsis": "Carol doesn't bend to Alice just because she's filling in for the Boss. Alice is not happy." }, { "date": "2011-03-23", "synopsis": "Catbert says the phrase \"work-life balance\" isn't in use any more because it implies life is just as important as work." }, { "date": "2011-03-24", "synopsis": "Dilbert spent the week writing a test script for their product. Wally wrote a test script to test Dilbert's test script." }, { "date": "2011-03-25", "synopsis": "The Boss wants the engineers to list all their mistakes from the last year, so they can learn from their mistakes. By coincidence, it's just before annual review time." }, { "date": "2011-03-26", "synopsis": "Asok describes his schooling for the employee profiles. He has lots of training." }, { "date": "2011-03-27", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Wally to review a report for engineering issues. Wally says the request is too vague." }, { "date": "2011-03-28", "synopsis": "Asok engages both sides of his brain like a dual-core processor to answer a question faster." }, { "date": "2011-03-29", "synopsis": "Dogbert writes fake press releases for imaginary new green energy technologies." }, { "date": "2011-03-30", "synopsis": "Dogbert prepares for a press conference on his cold fusion breakthrough. All he did was plug a light bulb into a jar." }, { "date": "2011-03-31", "synopsis": "Dogbert answers criticisms at his press conference about cold fusion." }, { "date": "2011-04-01", "synopsis": "Dilbert describes to his analyst how he held a virtual meeting using the cloud." }, { "date": "2011-04-02", "synopsis": "Dilbert makes up random numbers in a spreadsheet because he couldn't understand what the co-worker wanted." }, { "date": "2011-04-03", "synopsis": "Dogbert interviews a CEO. He asks whether employees are smart enough to set their own direction." }, { "date": "2011-04-04", "synopsis": "The Boss gets his brain overloaded and freezes in place just when the engineers need a decision from him." }, { "date": "2011-04-05", "synopsis": "Alice takes the Boss to a taxidermist to get him stuffed. He had been immobilised by data overload." }, { "date": "2011-04-06", "synopsis": "Alice tells the engineers the Boss has been stuffed by a taxidermist." }, { "date": "2011-04-07", "synopsis": "The CEO wants the engineering department to do a presentation at the next management retreat because all their projects have been finishing early." }, { "date": "2011-04-08", "synopsis": "Police complain the Boss has been stunned by data overload, stuffed and is being used as a hand puppet." }, { "date": "2011-04-09", "synopsis": "To cover their act of stuffing the Boss, Alice retrieves another Boss from a parallel universe." }, { "date": "2011-04-10", "synopsis": "Ted reaches his theoretical workload limit. Dilbert explains it happens when you start missing deadlines." }, { "date": "2011-04-11", "synopsis": "Dogbert recommends a product that creates the illusion of being friends with ghosts." }, { "date": "2011-04-12", "synopsis": "Dogbert creates a social network so people can be friends with ghosts." }, { "date": "2011-04-13", "synopsis": "Dilbert describes how their products appeal only to people who aren't good at comparison shopping." }, { "date": "2011-04-14", "synopsis": "The CEO wants to add seven more layers of management between him and the Boss." }, { "date": "2011-04-15", "synopsis": "The new layers of management below the CEO are VP, AVP, director, dolphin, inanimate substance and chalky substance." }, { "date": "2011-04-16", "synopsis": "A co-worker shows Dilbert a gizmo he made in his spare time." }, { "date": "2011-04-17", "synopsis": "The Boss tries to explain the difference between offshoring and bestshoring." }, { "date": "2011-04-18", "synopsis": "The Boss comes across some low-hanging fruit and can't get it." }, { "date": "2011-04-19", "synopsis": "The Boss asks about Stan who requested budget for testing handset radiation." }, { "date": "2011-04-20", "synopsis": "Dilbert is confused about the different time in Elbonia where it's 75 hears in the future." }, { "date": "2011-04-21", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks to have Carol to schedule some meetings. The Boss calls her useless." }, { "date": "2011-04-22", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Asok to schedule some meetings because he's an intern and his time has very little value." }, { "date": "2011-04-23", "synopsis": "The new file naming convention includes the hat size of the nearest squirrel and temperature at the airport." }, { "date": "2011-04-24", "synopsis": "Dilbert sees a new guy at the meeting and wants to know how important he is." }, { "date": "2011-04-25", "synopsis": "Topper says he provides more vitamins and minerals than the sun." }, { "date": "2011-04-26", "synopsis": "The Boss says the company will no longer pay for radiation dosimeters. The engineers revolt." }, { "date": "2011-04-27", "synopsis": "Dilbert starts a task force to eliminate redundancies in internal processes." }, { "date": "2011-04-28", "synopsis": "Dogbert runs a password recovery service." }, { "date": "2011-04-29", "synopsis": "Dogbert's password recovery service is so complicated Floyd jumps off the planet." }, { "date": "2011-04-30", "synopsis": "Dogbert researches how long it takes for customers to give up waiting on hold for technical support." }, { "date": "2011-05-01", "synopsis": "The Boss shows off a picture of his new boat. No one is interested." }, { "date": "2011-05-02", "synopsis": "Dilbert says his brain isn't at peak efficiency so probably should go home to avoid making expensive mistakes." }, { "date": "2011-05-03", "synopsis": "Mordac makes nicknames for Ted based on which website he visits." }, { "date": "2011-05-04", "synopsis": "The only profitable line of business is intentional billing errors." }, { "date": "2011-05-05", "synopsis": "Dilbert congratulates the Boss for solving every important problem in the world before implementing desk standardisation policies." }, { "date": "2011-05-06", "synopsis": "Wally thinks about becoming a useful member of society to enjoy admiration and respect." }, { "date": "2011-05-07", "synopsis": "Bob says he needs a signed original contract to process Dilbert's order." }, { "date": "2011-05-08", "synopsis": "The Boss doesn't want to hear about the awesome new features Dilbert designed for their product." }, { "date": "2011-05-09", "synopsis": "Dogbert creates an advanced health care directive for Dilbert that basically says Dogbert should kill him." }, { "date": "2011-05-10", "synopsis": "The marketing department has rebranded all the 4g mobile products as 8g." }, { "date": "2011-05-11", "synopsis": "Wally creates a script to delete any new content added to the website instead of creating a paywall." }, { "date": "2011-05-12", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks his doctor for a pill to make it easier to listen to whiny idiots." }, { "date": "2011-05-13", "synopsis": "Dilbert's project plan assumes everyone involved will waste a week. The Boss says that's stupid." }, { "date": "2011-05-14", "synopsis": "Dogbert updates Dilbert's estate plan to make it easier for Dogbert to kill Dilbert and inherit his stuff." }, { "date": "2011-05-15", "synopsis": "A waiter asks Dilbert to fill out a customer survey; Dilbert doesn't want to do it on a date." }, { "date": "2011-05-16", "synopsis": "xxxxx The Boss asks if he remembered to tell Dilbert the programs specs had changed before he finished coding." }, { "date": "2011-05-17", "synopsis": "The production phase starts before the end of the test phase. Marketing is feeling confident." }, { "date": "2011-05-18", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to be an idiot so he can feel happy." }, { "date": "2011-05-19", "synopsis": "The Boss spies on printers so he can see what his minions are working on." }, { "date": "2011-05-20", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Catbert he's so out of touch with technology he no longer understands what his employees say." }, { "date": "2011-05-21", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells a co-worker who was late for a meeting they started without him. He wasn't important enough to wait." }, { "date": "2011-05-22", "synopsis": "The Boss doesn't like what the company lawyer has to say so asks Dilbert to research the issue more." }, { "date": "2011-05-23", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Mordac to relax the firewall because he's not getting the coupons by e-mail he signed up for." }, { "date": "2011-05-24", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells the Boss bad stuff is getting through the firewall." }, { "date": "2011-05-25", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date now compares men to her smartphone instead of to her ex-boyfriend." }, { "date": "2011-05-26", "synopsis": "Dilbert the instructor teaches the group how to work independently by falling backwards." }, { "date": "2011-05-27", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert his employee locator device, the smartphone, isn't turned on." }, { "date": "2011-05-28", "synopsis": "The Boss tells the CEO hackers got through the firewall. The CEO launches his escape pod." }, { "date": "2011-05-29", "synopsis": "The Boss gives an award to Dilbert for fixing the HTML. Dilbert says he didn't do it." }, { "date": "2011-05-30", "synopsis": "Wally tells the Boss he can't work with a Boss who doesn't trust him to work independently." }, { "date": "2011-05-31", "synopsis": "The Boss says the company is considering moving from cubicles to an open workspace environment. Dilbert complains about the extra distractions." }, { "date": "2011-06-01", "synopsis": "A co-worker gloats to Dilbert about how he predicted six months ago Dilbert was wrong." }, { "date": "2011-06-02", "synopsis": "The CEO believes the company can double revenue by increasing absenteeism." }, { "date": "2011-06-03", "synopsis": "A co-worker wonders if Dilbert is racist because he compared restrooms to outsourcing." }, { "date": "2011-06-04", "synopsis": "Tina includes too much information in the press release about why the VP of engineering is leaving for personal reasons." }, { "date": "2011-06-05", "synopsis": "The Boss reads e-mail while the engineers give their status reports." }, { "date": "2011-06-06", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert he will read the document and give comments. Dilbert doesn't believe him." }, { "date": "2011-06-07", "synopsis": "A financials guy shows his spreadsheet which is complicated and probably riddled with errors." }, { "date": "2011-06-08", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows Dogbert his new shoulder holder for his phone." }, { "date": "2011-06-09", "synopsis": "Wally renamed all the Unix servers to make them easier to remember. He didn't write down any of the new names." }, { "date": "2011-06-10", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Alice she's doing a great job. Alice doesn't trust him." }, { "date": "2011-06-11", "synopsis": "Asok considers he only has mind-numbing tasks to work on." }, { "date": "2011-06-12", "synopsis": "Dilbert didn't ask the lab if they could carry out the tests on the prototype. The Boss says he should have." }, { "date": "2011-06-13", "synopsis": "Asok feels unfulfilled at his job and wonders if the feeling ever goes away." }, { "date": "2011-06-14", "synopsis": "A co-worker says Dilbert's idea will never work. Dilbert thinks the co-worker is too dumb to understand the idea." }, { "date": "2011-06-15", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to say something at a meeting but can't interrupt." }, { "date": "2011-06-16", "synopsis": "The Boss wonders if Wally has done anything to address the overlap of his project with Ted's project." }, { "date": "2011-06-17", "synopsis": "Wally notices inefficiencies in another department so forms a kaizen team to find solutions." }, { "date": "2011-06-18", "synopsis": "Asok wonders if he should become indispensible so he won't be fired. Wally says no." }, { "date": "2011-06-19", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to talk to the Boss. The Boss says they can talk while he walks to a meeting." }, { "date": "2011-06-20", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Wally if he would quit working if he won the lottery." }, { "date": "2011-06-21", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to get approval from the cloud. The cloud was once called matrix management." }, { "date": "2011-06-22", "synopsis": "Dilbert can't get the divisions' buy-in for his project because the CEO hasn't approved it. He can't get the CEO to approve it until all divisions buy-in." }, { "date": "2011-06-23", "synopsis": "Dilbert is to use \"black hat\" methods to improve the ranking of their website on search engines." }, { "date": "2011-06-24", "synopsis": "Dilbert reports Google found out they used fake links to their website to boost their search rank." }, { "date": "2011-06-25", "synopsis": "The Boss and Catbert practice saying employee satisfaction is at an all-time low while unemployment is high." }, { "date": "2011-06-26", "synopsis": "Darryl turned feral because he wasn't invited to meetings." }, { "date": "2011-06-27", "synopsis": "The CEO doubles the number of managers in each group to give clarity on the company's direction." }, { "date": "2011-06-28", "synopsis": "Alice complains she can't get anything done this time of year because useful people are on vacation." }, { "date": "2011-06-29", "synopsis": "Carol asks Dilbert to recommend a new phone for her." }, { "date": "2011-06-30", "synopsis": "Carol shows Alice her new smartphone." }, { "date": "2011-07-01", "synopsis": "Alice can't use her fist of death at work any more so she starts using her eye cannons." }, { "date": "2011-07-02", "synopsis": "Dilbert meets with a co-worker, who assumes everything he says will be bullying toward her." }, { "date": "2011-07-03", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss if he can order some hardware. The Boss gives an ambiguous response and then changes the subject." }, { "date": "2011-07-04", "synopsis": "The Boss interviews a candidate who announces he's bored and wants to leave." }, { "date": "2011-07-05", "synopsis": "Dilbert provides comments on the two alternatives, saying neither will work and option one is more expensive. The Boss ignores the comments." }, { "date": "2011-07-06", "synopsis": "Dilbert convinces a co-worker to do a task even though he doesn't want to do it." }, { "date": "2011-07-07", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets a lateral promotion where he now does two jobs for no increase in salary." }, { "date": "2011-07-08", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to grow the top line by 20% even though their products aren't competitive." }, { "date": "2011-07-09", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to know if Dilbert's projectionss are optimistic or realistic." }, { "date": "2011-07-10", "synopsis": "Dogbert provides training on going from being a useless employee to a toxic one." }, { "date": "2011-07-11", "synopsis": "Tina is offended when Dilbert said Ted is doing a great job. It implied she isn't important." }, { "date": "2011-07-12", "synopsis": "Wally tells the Boss he's fascinating and should continue doing more Twitter." }, { "date": "2011-07-13", "synopsis": "Carol suggests the Boss build his own helicopter and provides a website to order a kit." }, { "date": "2011-07-14", "synopsis": "Carol thinks the new dorkish engineer would get along great with Dilbert." }, { "date": "2011-07-15", "synopsis": "Dilbert does the sacred dance of the cubicle." }, { "date": "2011-07-16", "synopsis": "The marketing guy won't provide the customer survey data to Dilbert, so Dilbert doesn't know what customers want." }, { "date": "2011-07-17", "synopsis": "Dilbert talks to the Boss about his career path. The Boss lays out the truth and Dilbert doesn't like it." }, { "date": "2011-07-18", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to attend a course to be more efficient. The Boss doesn't want that as Dilbert is billing by the hour to a government." }, { "date": "2011-07-19", "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't have any followers on Twitter. A woman is not impressed." }, { "date": "2011-07-20", "synopsis": "Wally offers to balance traffic loads on the network. Asok pipes up to say the hardware vendor already did that." }, { "date": "2011-07-21", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries not to judge others by the quality of their technical questions. He doesn't think much of this question from a co-worker, though." }, { "date": "2011-07-22", "synopsis": "Dogbert does a survey to see which managers make dumb decisions. His interview with the Boss is short." }, { "date": "2011-07-23", "synopsis": "Dilbert is about to go to his skip-level meeting, where he meets with the Boss's boss. The Boss readies his retribution." }, { "date": "2011-07-24", "synopsis": "On a speakerphone, the engineers receive instructions the data centre is a lights out operation and employees are no longer allowed in there." }, { "date": "2011-07-25", "synopsis": "Asok rescues Wally from a work assignment by saying he's needed elsewhere urgently." }, { "date": "2011-07-26", "synopsis": "A co-worker interrupts Dilbert's presentation to complain that the numbers he received from Dilbert last week were wrong. But he didn't want to draw attention to himself." }, { "date": "2011-07-27", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces a lady to Carol but has trouble describing his professional relationship to Carol." }, { "date": "2011-07-28", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks why Wally hasn't finished the design yet. Wally says he only promised to start the design by now." }, { "date": "2011-07-29", "synopsis": "During an interview, the Boss asks about an applicant's DNA to find out whether he exercises much." }, { "date": "2011-07-30", "synopsis": "Ted can't get a raise because he's been using the company gym during work hours." }, { "date": "2011-07-31", "synopsis": "Dilbert is prepared for a financial meltdown: six months of food and water, batteries, flashlights and gold coins." }, { "date": "2011-08-01", "synopsis": "Dogbert is to chair a data security standards group, to redefine security procedures to be inconvenient." }, { "date": "2011-08-02", "synopsis": "Dogbert starts a vendor standards group to create mutually exclusive preferences." }, { "date": "2011-08-03", "synopsis": "Asok teases Dilbert about using a \"grandpa box\", while younger people use phones and tablets." }, { "date": "2011-08-04", "synopsis": "Pete has an urge to disagree with Dilbert, even though everything Dilbert said was correct." }, { "date": "2011-08-05", "synopsis": "Everything Pete says is creepy and the Boss is receiving complaints." }, { "date": "2011-08-06", "synopsis": "Dogbert leads a meeting for the society for the preservation of evil ideas." }, { "date": "2011-08-07", "synopsis": "Dogbert, PR guy, is to persuade the media to write negative stories about the company's competitors." }, { "date": "2011-08-08", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to communicate less with other departments. The more they know about Engineering, the more they criticise." }, { "date": "2011-08-09", "synopsis": "A co-worker talked non-stop through the meeting so they accomplished nothing." }, { "date": "2011-08-10", "synopsis": "Alice judges the quality of a co-worker's business case by his bad haircut and poor font choice." }, { "date": "2011-08-11", "synopsis": "Dogbert says crimes are victimless when you're a sociopath. He offers to split the profit if the CEO provides insider information." }, { "date": "2011-08-12", "synopsis": "Dogbert offers Dilbert a job to pretend he has written a superior stock trading algorithm, while Dogbert uses insider information to get rich." }, { "date": "2011-08-13", "synopsis": "The Boss says they must embrace failures and learn from them. Alice says that's dumb." }, { "date": "2011-08-14", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks to work at home some days. The Boss says Dilbert is really part of a science experiment to see how much frustration it takes to kill employees." }, { "date": "2011-08-15", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Alice about a co-worker who doesn't have a clue how software works. The co-worker overhears this." }, { "date": "2011-08-16", "synopsis": "The Boss says anyone who disagrees with him is an ignorant nuisance and then asks for comments." }, { "date": "2011-08-17", "synopsis": "The Boss uses intuition to select an option, despite what the data says." }, { "date": "2011-08-18", "synopsis": "A co-worker schedules input from Dilbert. Dilbert is scheduled to finish two weeks before he starts." }, { "date": "2011-08-19", "synopsis": "A co-worker and Dilbert discuss the e-mail the co-worker sent about Dilbert's plan." }, { "date": "2011-08-20", "synopsis": "The Boss asks an interviewee to describe his biggest mistake and what he learned from it. He says he chewed a couch into tiny pieces and left them at Starbucks." }, { "date": "2011-08-21", "synopsis": "Dilbert's phone rings and it's after 4 PM. He fears a problem will keep him at work all night." }, { "date": "2011-08-22", "synopsis": "A new software vendor arrives and tries to form a relationship with Dilbert." }, { "date": "2011-08-23", "synopsis": "Dilbert thinks the new vendor is creepy for wanting to form a relationship. Wally says it might not be so bad." }, { "date": "2011-08-24", "synopsis": "The Boss offers to join Dilbert at a meeting with a customer. Dilbert worries about that." }, { "date": "2011-08-25", "synopsis": "During a meeting with a customer, the Boss contradicts Dilbert and says they can easily make the requested changes." }, { "date": "2011-08-26", "synopsis": "The Boss impatiently asks Dilbert to print the same report he printed for the Boss yesterday." }, { "date": "2011-08-27", "synopsis": "The ambassador of trees visits Dilbert and accuses him of crimes against wood for excessive printing and copying." }, { "date": "2011-08-28", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for honest feedback on his plan. The engineers aren't sure how to react and wonder if honesty is the best choice." }, { "date": "2011-08-29", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders why his great idea doesn't sound so good when puts it in e-mail. Bad decision 1 follows." }, { "date": "2011-08-30", "synopsis": "A co-worker calls Dilbert's e-mail arrogant and stupid. Dilbert reacts badly which leads to bad decisions 2 and 3." }, { "date": "2011-08-31", "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders why people get mad at him when he points out how dumb they are. He just wants to be helpful." }, { "date": "2011-09-01", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice to simplify an idea so he can present it to the executives." }, { "date": "2011-09-02", "synopsis": "An employee wonders if the Boss approved his goals for next year. The Boss is apathetic about the goals and the employee fears being downsized." }, { "date": "2011-09-03", "synopsis": "The company lawyer says they are being targeted by big companies. The big companies have hired NASA to nudge an asteroid toward their headquarters." }, { "date": "2011-09-04", "synopsis": "A co-worker tries to get Wally to deliver data in three days. Wally won't commit to that." }, { "date": "2011-09-05", "synopsis": "Alice asks an interviewee if he is creative. Creative people take moral shortcuts and are less honest." }, { "date": "2011-09-06", "synopsis": "Alice asks an interviewee if he can work long hours. People who work long hours usually make bad decisions." }, { "date": "2011-09-07", "synopsis": "Dogbert the consultant recommends the Boss purchase Dogbert's Database Software product. Dogbert says he's being totally objective." }, { "date": "2011-09-08", "synopsis": "A co-worker tells Dilbert about his recommendation. Dilbert can't understand what the co-worker said." }, { "date": "2011-09-09", "synopsis": "The Boss didn't read Dilbert's technical recommendation. Instead he uses his gut to make decisions." }, { "date": "2011-09-10", "synopsis": "A co-worker says he's a creative person. Alice assumes it to mean he's bad at math and has no analytical skills." }, { "date": "2011-09-11", "synopsis": "The Boss says Dilbert's job performance is terrific. Dilbert assumes it to mean someone else will be fired and Dilbert must do two jobs." }, { "date": "2011-09-12", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Alice they can manipulate the Boss by comparing the right plan to the worst alternatives." }, { "date": "2011-09-13", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert why he didn't respond to an e-mail. Dilbert says he couldn't read it because the signal-to-noise ratio was too low." }, { "date": "2011-09-14", "synopsis": "Wally thinks the hallmark of genius is doing things in a way other people don't. For example, his project is unfinished. Wally sees it as an unexpected use of time." }, { "date": "2011-09-15", "synopsis": "Wally decides to become more aggressive in blaming others for his lack of success." }, { "date": "2011-09-16", "synopsis": "The Boss asks the engineers to stop using the word \"unfortunately\" when they talk to customers. \"As it turns out\" has a more positive feel." }, { "date": "2011-09-17", "synopsis": "Dilbert presents the idea the business will fail if customers hate their new product. The business will fail if it's a good product because a stronger company will start competing with them." }, { "date": "2011-09-18", "synopsis": "The Boss invokes imperious interruptus, where he can hijack conversations of subordinates. Then the VP interrupts him." }, { "date": "2011-09-19", "synopsis": "The Boss changes Dilbert's idea, and says he can now claim credit if it works, or blame it on Dilbert if it fails." }, { "date": "2011-09-20", "synopsis": "The CEO says the strategy is to increase market share. Dilbert jokes about how he was trying to decrease market share last year." }, { "date": "2011-09-21", "synopsis": "Dilbert can't hold Alice's interest in a conversation so she checks e-mail while he's talking." }, { "date": "2011-09-22", "synopsis": "The Boss opens up for any question at all. Wally and Dilbert ask unrelated questions about ghosts." }, { "date": "2011-09-23", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date complains her boss keeps micromanaging her." }, { "date": "2011-09-24", "synopsis": "Dilbert meets Burt Nount, who is burned out by his job even though he started only yesterday." }, { "date": "2011-09-25", "synopsis": "The Boss can't think of what to write for Dilbert's goals for the coming year. Dilbert says to just make up stuff." }, { "date": "2011-09-26", "synopsis": "Alice sneezes on Burt Nount and disintegrates his head." }, { "date": "2011-09-27", "synopsis": "Dilbert explains this is not an ordinary powerpoint slide. It is instead a portal to another dimension where fantasy and reality have traded places." }, { "date": "2011-09-28", "synopsis": "The Garbageman explains Powerpoint is like garbage. It's delicious in small doses but too much can kill." }, { "date": "2011-09-29", "synopsis": "A co-worker tries to give Dilbert data on her flash drive but Dilbert is reluctant to accept it." }, { "date": "2011-09-30", "synopsis": "The Boss thanks Asok for his suggestion but won't follow it because he doesn't like doing extra work and Asok isn't important to his career." }, { "synopsis": "The CEO has an MBA but he keeps losing money in the stock market. The Boss puts his money in gold because it's shiny and has doubled his portfolio in a year.", "date": "2011-10-01" }, { "synopsis": "Servers are down, the Boss reports, and Dilbert is trying to fix them. The Boss keeps interfering.", "date": "2011-10-02" }, { "synopsis": "A woman at a party asks Dilbert to play a game. They each say two things about themselves and the other has to guess which one is a lie. Dilbert doesn't like that game.", "date": "2011-10-03" }, { "synopsis": "The company is buying another company just to get their engineers. The Boss is disappointed to learn their engineers are free to leave for jobs at better companies.", "date": "2011-10-04" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss names Asok employee of the month for October, 1929.", "date": "2011-10-05" }, { "synopsis": "Wally says only one percent of all engineers create industry-changing products. He proposes replacing the other 99% with robotic arms that hold coffee cups.", "date": "2011-10-06" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Ken, an ideationista, who will help the engineers become more creative.", "date": "2011-10-07" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert suggests Dilbert become more aggressive by getting testosterone shots from his doctor. Aggressive jerks are paid more.", "date": "2011-10-08" }, { "synopsis": "Ted suggests Dilbert create a matrix comparing the features of the company's past products. Dilbert says it would take two days and would have no value.", "date": "2011-10-09" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Alice he read aggressive jerks are paid more than nice employees. Alice hits him.", "date": "2011-10-10" }, { "synopsis": "The company intends to purchase a smaller company with a good reputation, then take their name and suck out their good will.", "date": "2011-10-11" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert is justified in leaving early because of the two hours work he did before arriving at the office and the two hours work he expects to do that evening.", "date": "2011-10-12" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert believes a rational decision is impossible because the situation is so complex and most deciders aren't smart. So he recommends giving up.", "date": "2011-10-13" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert researches on his smartphone everything Tina says.", "note": "In a blog entry on 2011-08-16, Scott Adams \"seeded\" the search with the phrase \"It is the solemn duty of engineers to stamp out ignorance.\" and then \"(The purpose of this post will become clear on October 14. Please ignore it until then.)\"", "date": "2011-10-14" }, { "synopsis": "Alice is frustrated but she can't cry because that's a stereotype. So she makes Asok her surrogate crier.", "date": "2011-10-15" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks the engineers for creative ideas for their next product. But not from Wally, and nothing that has already been done. And no ideas that cost money or increase risk.", "date": "2011-10-16" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert for a presentation on their five-year technology plan for the CEO. Dilbert will make up stuff about flying cars and a pie chart.", "date": "2011-10-17" }, { "synopsis": "A competitor sues the company for a design trademark violation. Now they can't manufacture anything shaped like a rectangle.", "date": "2011-10-18" }, { "synopsis": "The meeting goes too long and Jenny is a food werewolf.", "date": "2011-10-19" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to change all lines to dotted on his report to save ink.", "date": "2011-10-20" }, { "synopsis": "Wally wears a pantsuit bought from a unisex store.", "date": "2011-10-21" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO asks Dogbert to bribe the Elbonian minister of commerce but leave no evidence to connect the bribe back to the company.", "date": "2011-10-22" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to show him how to download apps for his new phone.", "date": "2011-10-23" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker introduces Wally as the subject matter expert. Everyone is disappointed.", "date": "2011-10-24" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO wants to create a succession plan for when he leaves. Alice tells him not to worry as he could be replaced by a bag of moss.", "date": "2011-10-25" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO is looking for someone to drink industrial sludge at a press conference to prove it's safe. Asok wonders why the CEO doesn't drink it himself.", "date": "2011-10-26" }, { "synopsis": "At a press conference, the CEO gets Asok to drink their industrial sludge to prove it is safe.", "date": "2011-10-27" }, { "synopsis": "Asok is suffering with lower IQ since the CEO made him drink industrial sludge at a press conference.", "date": "2011-10-28" }, { "synopsis": "A doctor can't figure out how to help Asok, so gives him pills to cause hemorrhoids.", "date": "2011-10-29" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker says his role is digital media curation but can't explain what that means.", "date": "2011-10-30" }, { "synopsis": "Asok is transferred to marketing until his brain heals from drinking industrial sludge.", "date": "2011-10-31" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO says if he has seen farther, it is because he stood on the shoulders of giants. Plus whatever is happening around Wally.", "date": "2011-11-01" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss hired a humour consultant to teach them how to have more fun at work. Dilbert wonders if he cancels out the consultant hired to filter Internet access to entertainment.", "date": "2011-11-02" }, { "synopsis": "Asok complains there are ugly people and places all around him. Dilbert say it's ok because he gets to eat lunch with the other engineers.", "date": "2011-11-03" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert why the task took so long. Dilbert says the Boss is comparing the task, which has never been done before, to his imagination of how long things should take.", "date": "2011-11-04" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss hires a consultant to teach them how to be less confident. Dilbert asks if this is because overconfident people don't recognise their own mistakes.", "date": "2011-11-05" }, { "synopsis": "For a job applicant, the Boss researched his brand online. Blog, tweets, Facebook, Googled his name, everything was researched.", "date": "2011-11-06" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss fought with his boss for a raise for Alice. But he lost.", "date": "2011-11-07" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss if he is planning layoffs. The Boss responds to the question with a question, which Dilbert says indicates the next thing he says will be a lie.", "date": "2011-11-08" }, { "synopsis": "Ted got a big promotion. Alice congratulates him and says she's not jealous. Her body language indicates she's lying.", "date": "2011-11-09" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss is converting everything Dilbert did into a waste of time, Carol tells Dilbert.", "date": "2011-11-10" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss does not want to know the technical details of Dilbert's idea. Instead he makes his decisions based on what he knows about the people involved.", "date": "2011-11-11" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss stops by Dilbert's cubicle to boost morale by pretending to be interested in Dilbert as a person.", "date": "2011-11-12" }, { "synopsis": "Wally claims to have invented an invisibility cloak. He'll be testing it over the next couple of months, so he may not be seen in his office.", "date": "2011-11-13" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker learns biotech workers are practical joker when he receives stem cells instead of a flu shot.", "date": "2011-11-14" }, { "synopsis": "Asok asks Wally if there is any difference between trust and stupidity. Wally demonstrates.", "date": "2011-11-15" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss takes issues with Wally's goals for the coming years. Work as little as possible and avoid the Boss's wrath.", "date": "2011-11-16" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants to tell the engineers about his golf game. They aren't interested.", "date": "2011-11-17" }, { "synopsis": "Asok fears the bogeyman. Dilbert says there's no such thing, but Asok knows better.", "date": "2011-11-18" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants to fire Wally but can't risk it. Wally's the only one who can program an unknown system.", "date": "2011-11-19" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Toby, a new employee who is a world-class inventor. Actually, a competitor just fired Toby for stealing.", "date": "2011-11-20" }, { "synopsis": "Wally tells the Boss he installed a patch to an unknown system. It's just a bunch of ones and zeroes.", "date": "2011-11-21" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tells his mom he's a project manager. She asks him not to tell anyone else.", "date": "2011-11-22" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert, project manager, creates a time line that doesn't reflect reality or consensus since none of his team would respond to his e-mails.", "date": "2011-11-23" }, { "synopsis": "A salesman shows the engineers some blank slides because he doesn't know what their product does. He never bothered to find out because he doesn't work on commission.", "date": "2011-11-24" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to make a purchase but the unmotivated sales guy, who isn't on commission, doesn't want to help.", "date": "2011-11-25" }, { "synopsis": "Wally spent last week planning how to get everything done this week. The Boss gives him something new so he must replan everything.", "date": "2011-11-26" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss gets smartphone interface rage, caused by a combination of bad interface design, chubby fingers and low signal strength.", "date": "2011-11-27" }, { "synopsis": "Someone keeps sending links to articles about the world's worst bosses to the Boss. And it happens every time he leaves Dilbert's cubicle.", "date": "2011-11-28" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker had a bad week. Dilbert cheers him up by saying he's seven days closer to death.", "date": "2011-11-29" }, { "synopsis": "Carol worked the weekend to enter some employee data for the Boss. Turns out he no longer needed it.", "date": "2011-11-30" }, { "synopsis": "On his way out, Dilbert asks the janitor to not clean the whiteboard in the conference room as it contains the project timeline.", "date": "2011-12-01" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice for her status report. She responds by imitating and mocking him.", "date": "2011-12-02" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert, the doomsday pundit, predicts a hobo army formed by Goldman Sachs will take over the world.", "date": "2011-12-03" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker leaves a meeting early because he's part of a carpool. Wally wants to follow suit.", "date": "2011-12-04" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert recruits Ratbert to be in his rebel army. Dogbert wants to be an iron-fisted dictator.", "date": "2011-12-05" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO thanks Carol for subsidizing his mansion. The CEO is in a lower tax bracket than her.", "date": "2011-12-06" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert wraps up a boring presentation. The group didn't enjoy it.", "date": "2011-12-07" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to fly to Seattle for a meeting. Dilbert asks if the people have never heard of Skype.", "date": "2011-12-08" }, { "synopsis": "Alice woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Wally compares her to a gargoyle.", "date": "2011-12-09" }, { "synopsis": "Wally gives life-lessons to Asok: self respect is a prison for the soul. Goals are self-inflicted slavery.", "date": "2011-12-10" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss hands out the list of 25 focus areas for next year. Asok laughs because no one can focus on 25 things.", "date": "2011-12-11" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert is worried because he doesn't have any problems yet today. He thinks he's insane or something big is coming.", "date": "2011-12-12" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss announces the company is going into the tablet computer business. Other companies will make the product with the company's logo.", "date": "2011-12-13" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert says the Elbonian factory is having safety problems where employees are going blind.", "date": "2011-12-14" }, { "synopsis": "The Elbonian factory will miss their ship dates because they're too green. They turned off their air conditioning so their hats expanded until their eyes were covered.", "date": "2011-12-15" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol to schedule a meeting with Dilbert and Alice. His phone completes the task before Carol can react.", "date": "2011-12-16" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says he doesn't trust his new smart phone. It understands spoken language and that's creepy.", "date": "2011-12-17" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to get Ted to explain what needs to be done before the upgrade. Dilbert says Ted is not good at explaining.", "date": "2011-12-18" }, { "synopsis": "A Google employee tells the engineers they're encouraged to develop their own ideas for 20% of their time. He also works 60 hours per week.", "date": "2011-12-19" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Wally if he has the tools required to do his job. Wally asks if the Boss considers himself a tool.", "date": "2011-12-20" }, { "synopsis": "Carol compares herself to the CEO when either does a good job. She gets more work and the CEO gets a fifty million dollar bonus.", "date": "2011-12-21" }, { "synopsis": "Ratbert peacefully protests against Dogbert's greed and corruption. Dogbert sells him a permit to protest.", "date": "2011-12-22" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss reads conflicting policies regarding putting company documents into blue recycling bins. Green policy says put them in and security policy says never put them in.", "date": "2011-12-23" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to come with him on a sales trip but Dilbert is not to talk with the customer.", "date": "2011-12-24" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert gives a gift to Sarah, someone who attended a meeting with him back in April.", "date": "2011-12-25" }, { "synopsis": "Alice asks about Dilbert's ugly sweater. It was a gift from his mom.", "date": "2011-12-26" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss decides to be Alice's mentor. It means spending hundreds of hours together as he explains his wisdom.", "date": "2011-12-27" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss signs up for a charisma class. Carol will learn how to ignore his fake charisma.", "date": "2011-12-28" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss gives Dilbert a sample of what he learned from his online charisma class.", "date": "2011-12-29" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss excitedly waits for a meeting with Awesome Bob, who does everything in a way that is a bit more awesome than anyone else.", "date": "2011-12-30" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to avoid being wished a happy new year at a new year's eve party.", "date": "2011-12-31" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert has been selected for the executive development program. That means possible relocation, stress for work he doesn't enjoy, and it's not really possible to turn this down.", "date": "2012-01-01" }, { "synopsis": "A congressman is shopping around corporations to see which bribe offer is best.", "date": "2012-01-02" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss thinks he asked Dilbert to reschedule the installation date. Dilbert says that conversation never happened.", "date": "2012-01-03" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert recommends to the Boss the project scope is changed, but the Boss doesn't do that.", "date": "2012-01-04" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss heard smart people make bad decisions because of hubris. Neither he nor Catbert know what hubris is.", "date": "2012-01-05" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Dilbert why he picked that vendor. Dilbert listed four reasons, none of which are compelling by themselves, but collectively make the best decision.", "date": "2012-01-06" }, { "synopsis": "A project manager abstracts things so far as to make Dilbert and Wally weightless.", "date": "2012-01-07" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert is named project leader. That entitles him to a cubicle three inches wider. Dilbert likes his current cubicle.", "date": "2012-01-08" }, { "synopsis": "Alice declares twelve feet around her cubicle to be her territorial waters and forbids co-workers from using the aisle.", "date": "2012-01-09" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss complains about Alice's robot shark that patrols around her cubicle. She says it's a robot dolphin.", "date": "2012-01-10" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss signed up for a free leadership newsletter by e-mail. It must be good because it's written by a guy who used to have a job.", "date": "2012-01-11" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says he shouldn't brag about his wealth, but does so anyway.", "date": "2012-01-12" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert can't get a raise because of the Elbonian debt crisis. However, the CEO still gets lots of stock options.", "date": "2012-01-13" }, { "synopsis": "Wally complains the Boss discriminates against him because he's short, bald and nearsighted.", "note": "Wally's mother appears.", "date": "2012-01-14" }, { "synopsis": "The budget for contract employees was eliminated, so they'll have to pay the contractor out of the training budget.", "date": "2012-01-15" }, { "synopsis": "The company lawyer offers Wally a settlement for his claim of discrimination for being short, bald and nearsighted.", "date": "2012-01-16" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss gives Wally a billion dollars to settle the claim of discrimination against short, bald, nearsighted guys.", "date": "2012-01-17" }, { "synopsis": "Wally goes to the Top 1% Club for the first time. Note the triple-breasted woman in the last panel.", "date": "2012-01-18" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Wally why he didn't quit after getting a billion dollar settlement.", "date": "2012-01-19" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert asks Wally to manage his portfolio for only 1% per year fee.", "date": "2012-01-20" }, { "synopsis": "Wally wonders what type of woman he will attract, since he's part of the top one percent.", "date": "2012-01-21" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss calls Dogbert's tech support to get his digital modem fixed. Dogbert blames the Boss's house for the problem.", "date": "2012-01-22" }, { "synopsis": "Wally had gone to Las Vegas for the weekend to play Pai Gow, a game that's difficult to learn.", "date": "2012-01-23" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss suggests a change to Dilbert's diagram, to add \"virtual\" to a box. Dilbert doesn't want to.", "date": "2012-01-24" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss waits for people to walk by so he can criticise Dilbert in front of others.", "date": "2012-01-25" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss gives Dilbert some destructive criticism at a staff meeting.", "date": "2012-01-26" }, { "synopsis": "Wally tells of his plan to be immortal: to put some skin cells in a Petri dish and store it in a robot.", "date": "2012-01-27" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO tells the engineers to drop everything and build robots.", "date": "2012-01-28" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss phones Dilbert from his car but the connection is flakey so he can't get his message across.", "date": "2012-01-29" }, { "synopsis": "Alice and Carol describe Ed as the braggart with the large pores and the comb over.", "date": "2012-01-30" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert describes the future where computers will program themselves. This will lead to the end of civilisation.", "date": "2012-01-31" }, { "date": "2012-02-01", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice to do a task by the end of the day. She responds by using magic to wish the work to be finished." }, { "date": "2012-02-02", "synopsis": "Wally is late. He says it's freezing and the roads are all ice. He had six cups of coffee and sat in traffic for two hours." }, { "date": "2012-02-03", "synopsis": "Wally believes they should throw future generations under the bus and do as little work as possible." }, { "date": "2012-02-04", "synopsis": "A coworker says Alice should look at his diagram as it could solve her problem. Alice says he's a genius." }, { "date": "2012-02-05", "synopsis": "Dilbert and the Boss return from a restaurant. Dilbert says he plans to return there someday for lunch, instead of the work he just did there." }, { "date": "2012-02-06", "synopsis": "The company's e-mail servers have been moved to Transylbonia, despite the rumours everyone there are data vampires." }, { "date": "2012-02-07", "synopsis": "Ever since the e-mail servers were moved to Transylbonia, Dilbert's inbox has contained nothing but vowels." }, { "date": "2012-02-08", "synopsis": "The Boss announces the company is leaving their low-margin lines of business and going into new fields, like a start-up." }, { "date": "2012-02-09", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert they need to act more like a start-up. Does this mean Dilbert can wear whatever clothes he wants, work at home and have lots of equity in the company?" }, { "date": "2012-02-10", "synopsis": "Tina says she wants to get married someday because married people are happy. Dilbert responds no one wants to marry an unhappy person." }, { "date": "2012-02-11", "synopsis": "The Boss complains about Dilbert being arrogant in meetings. Dilbert wants to keep simpletons from ruining the world." }, { "date": "2012-02-12", "synopsis": "The tech support person doesn't want to help Dilbert because he's evaluated only by the number of tickets closed. \"Son of a beach ball.\"" }, { "date": "2012-02-13", "synopsis": "Dilbert invents a hat to control computers with his thoughts. The computer on the Boss's desk shows Dilbert's wishes." }, { "date": "2012-02-14", "synopsis": "Dilbert causes Topper's phone to explode by using his brain reader invention." }, { "date": "2012-02-15", "synopsis": "A co-worker said he golfed at Pebble Beach. Dilbert replied he played that course on his Xbox." }, { "date": "2012-02-16", "synopsis": "Dilbert does not want to date a woman because her home Internet access is slow." }, { "date": "2012-02-17", "synopsis": "The Boss hires a weasel for search engine optimisation, to artificially increase the rankings for their company in search engines." }, { "date": "2012-02-18", "synopsis": "A CEO tries to demonstrate their tablet computer is indestructible and smashed it on the floor." }, { "date": "2012-02-19", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to start charging customers for features they currently get for free. Wally wonders how the reasoning process went." }, { "date": "2012-02-20", "synopsis": "The CEO thanks the Boss for collecting bottle caps, and thanks Dilbert for discovering the bottle cap thing was a hoax." }, { "date": "2012-02-21", "synopsis": "Dilbert found the Higgs Boson particle, which immediately tells Dilbert to build an ark." }, { "date": "2012-02-22", "synopsis": "A co-worker complains Wally never answers her call. Wally says his cell phone battery is dead." }, { "date": "2012-02-23", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to build something bigger than a phone but smaller than a tablet." }, { "date": "2012-02-24", "synopsis": "Wally introduces Sven, their biggest customer from Elbonia. The Boss needs to kiss his mitten." }, { "date": "2012-02-25", "synopsis": "Dilbert's PowerPoint slides have data for intelligent people and manipulative anecdotes for the morons." }, { "date": "2012-02-26", "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to talk with Alice many times but she can't fit him in." }, { "date": "2012-02-27", "synopsis": "The Boss has wine at lunch and decides to tweet. Bad decision." }, { "date": "2012-02-28", "synopsis": "Wally's goal is to eliminate all direct human contact, and designs a suite of Internet collaboration tools." }, { "date": "2012-02-29", "synopsis": "Wally prefers to collaborate online, where the risk of being slapped is low." }, { "date": "2012-03-01", "synopsis": "Wally relates the latest bad news to a co-worker who doesn't listen to news." }, { "date": "2012-03-02", "synopsis": "The CEO wants to start fracking under their competitor's headquarters. The plan is to pollute their water and generate earthquakes." }, { "date": "2012-03-03", "synopsis": "Wally says his contributions can't be measured by the number of hours he works. He also has a great idea." }, { "date": "2012-03-04", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows off the latest robot prototype, and gives it a shove to demonstrate its balance. The robot thinks Dilbert is being a jerk." }, { "date": "2012-03-05", "synopsis": "A salesman approaches Dilbert to pretend to be helpful. Dilbert pretends to listen." }, { "date": "2012-03-06", "synopsis": "The lawyer says Dilbert shouldn't listen to product ideas from strangers. They could be insane lawsuit monkeys." }, { "date": "2012-03-07", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to talk with Allen. Dilbert says he'll need an exit strategy as Allen is a serial talker." }, { "date": "2012-03-08", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Wally to manage the Elbonian contract programmers. He'll need to work nights because of the time difference." }, { "date": "2012-03-09", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets two good prospects from an online dating site. One is addicted to Facebook and the other to pain relievers." }, { "date": "2012-03-10", "synopsis": "Dilbert's date says she likes men who are confident in any situation." }, { "date": "2012-03-11", "synopsis": "The Boss asks a co-worker if she received the e-mail he texted her." }, { "date": "2012-03-12", "synopsis": "A co-worker notices all engineers are squirming when he talks and wonders if they were ordered to." }, { "date": "2012-03-13", "synopsis": "Dilbert ponders the possibility there are many universes and wonders if there's a version of himself who loves his job." }, { "date": "2012-03-14", "synopsis": "The CEO cancels all new product development and will use the capital for a stock buy-back." }, { "date": "2012-03-15", "synopsis": "Carol gets a bad case of piranha flu. She sneezes out piranhas." }, { "date": "2012-03-16", "synopsis": "Productivity is low because of an eight-year-old boy named Traylor. He brings home all viruses and germs and gives them to his mom." }, { "date": "2012-03-17", "synopsis": "The Boss says the company opposes the new internet law because it would be bad for business." }, { "date": "2012-03-18", "synopsis": "Dilbert, with a plant on his head says he's being creative, as women prefer creative types for short-term relationships." }, { "date": "2012-03-19", "synopsis": "Wally asks Dilbert if he feels the need to make conversation. Dilbert doesn't mind standing next to Wally." }, { "date": "2012-03-20", "synopsis": "Dilbert says his phone is like a time machine. He plays with the phone to fast-forward through the boring bits of his life." }, { "date": "2012-03-21", "synopsis": "The Boss doesn't understand the technology plan so won't sign off on it. Dilbert says he wouldn't understand any tech plan." }, { "date": "2012-03-22", "synopsis": "Dilbert recommends plan B to the Boss, since his research on the Internet shows that. The Boss rolls his eyes." }, { "date": "2012-03-23", "synopsis": "Since his old nemesis retired, Dilbert asks a co-worker to be his new nemesis." }, { "date": "2012-03-24", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Wally and Asok he has a new nemesis, since his old one retired." }, { "date": "2012-03-25", "synopsis": "Dilbert says it's time to upgrade the rest of their servers. A co-worker says there's no need to upgrade the servers that were upgraded last week." }, { "date": "2012-03-26", "synopsis": "A competitor buys ten million copies of our company's software, in order to give it away and entice purchases of their own software." }, { "date": "2012-03-27", "synopsis": "Wally fantasizes about running a start-up to escape the mental prison of his job." }, { "date": "2012-03-28", "synopsis": "Wally demands a raise, or else he'll get married and have children. That would increase benefit expenses and distract him from work." }, { "date": "2012-03-29", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Tina her page layout is ugly. She says it's not her fault. She works in an ugly cubicle surrounded by ugly people." }, { "date": "2012-03-30", "synopsis": "Carol notices a problem in the company's bereavement policy. If she feeds her husband unhealthy food and he dies, she'll get three days off." }, { "date": "2012-03-31", "synopsis": "Dilbert shows his mom an app he will sell. She says she's seen many like it already, some of which are free." }, { "date": "2012-04-01", "synopsis": "The Boss practices in front of Dogbert how to imbue staff with a sense of urgency" }, { "date": "2012-04-02", "synopsis": "Dilbert laments the fact he can't think of any new idea for an app." }, { "date": "2012-04-03", "synopsis": "Dilbert meets the cash cow. The cow starts making cash in front of him." }, { "date": "2012-04-04", "synopsis": "Wally schedules his meetings 10 minutes apart -- then cancels them when people show up a few minutes late." }, { "date": "2012-04-05", "synopsis": "Dogbert offers free software. It constantly nags for upgrades, then nags again." }, { "date": "2012-04-06", "synopsis": "Studies say happiness depends on comparing your life to others. So the Boss shows Dilbert pictures of people who were attacked by bears." }, { "date": "2012-04-07", "synopsis": "Wally proposes a deal to the Boss. The Boss assigns him no work, and Wally will not sue with a bogus employee claim." }, { "date": "2012-04-08", "synopsis": "Tina asks Wally if he wants to go to lunch. Wally says no, he is digisexual now. That means he only likes technology and is no longer attracted to people." }, { "date": "2012-04-09", "synopsis": "The Boss asks an employee to work from home two days per week. He says he would rather not as his wife and children are mean to him." }, { "date": "2012-04-10", "synopsis": "Carol sent out a schedule with lots of updates, and corrections and changes from others. Dilbert is confused." }, { "date": "2012-04-11", "synopsis": "Dogbert recommends the company adopt a strategy called backwards causation, where the company imitates successful competitors. Then, the company can feel as if they have a strategy." }, { "date": "2012-04-12", "synopsis": "The Boss announces they're consolidating their marketing into a shared services model. It gives the illusion they have a strategy." }, { "date": "2012-04-13", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Brendan and Brandon, consultants to help with branding. Alice can't stand how ridiculous it is." }, { "date": "2012-04-14", "synopsis": "The Boss says he likes to promote from within, but that may make the company less capable than their competitors." }, { "date": "2012-04-15", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells the CEO there is no correlation between the company's predicted and actual outcomes." }, { "date": "2012-04-16", "synopsis": "The Boss says the stock market is up, and wonders if he should get in. Dilbert recommends waiting and seeing if it goes up more." }, { "date": "2012-04-17", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Wally for a status on the quantum computer prototype he's building. Wally says it exists in a simultaneous state of being totally successful and also not started." }, { "date": "2012-04-18", "synopsis": "A co-worker edits Dilbert's document. Dilbert thinks the edits are bad and wants to insult the co-worker's intelligence." }, { "date": "2012-04-19", "synopsis": "Tina and Alice criticise Dilbert's looks." }, { "date": "2012-04-20", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to break into a competitor's network and blame the Elbonians, and then asks to bribe a blogger to write good things about the company. Dilbert refuses." }, { "date": "2012-04-21", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to bury some top secret proprietary documents in the woods. The body-shaped bundle starts talking." }, { "date": "2012-04-22", "synopsis": "The Boss asks for comments on the project plan. Dilbert says the tasks are removed from the big picture and no longer have meaning." }, { "date": "2012-04-23", "synopsis": "A lawyer worries about the company's apps stealing contact information from users' address books. The Boss says they upload the data but don't store it." }, { "date": "2012-04-24", "synopsis": "The CEO announces the new brand name \"Herthlokel\". Tina asks if he thought of that while in a dentist's chair." }, { "date": "2012-04-25", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Barry what he learned from vendors. Barry didn't actually call any vendors so instead uses his imagination." }, { "date": "2012-04-26", "synopsis": "Alice has a guide dog because she texts while she walks." }, { "date": "2012-04-27", "synopsis": "Wally interviews a service monkey then hires him." }, { "date": "2012-04-28", "synopsis": "Wally's service monkey attends a meeting with Wally and says he'll field questions directed at Wally." }, { "date": "2012-04-29", "synopsis": "Dilbert's therapist does nothing except complain." }, { "date": "2012-04-30", "synopsis": "The Boss read a book about how to be a great leader but is dismayed to realise he doesn't do any of those things. So the book must have mistakes." }, { "date": "2012-05-01", "synopsis": "Dilbert wears Google glasses, which give him information about the environment." }, { "date": "2012-05-02", "synopsis": "Wally's service monkey thinks their relationship is less dignified." }, { "date": "2012-05-03", "synopsis": "A user complains about Dogbert's free app that steals personal information." }, { "date": "2012-05-04", "synopsis": "Wally builds a tazer that looks like a cellphone and leaves it on the Boss's desk." }, { "date": "2012-05-05", "synopsis": "Dilbert won't tell a co-worker what he's working on because the co-worker misinterprets everything and bad-mouths it." }, { "date": "2012-05-06", "synopsis": "Dilbert returns from the trade show and reports it was a failure." }, { "date": "2012-05-07", "synopsis": "Dilbert reports they turned all user suggestions into product features even though all the users were idiots." }, { "date": "2012-05-08", "synopsis": "Dilbert dresses as a hobo for a client meeting because he should always dress one level up from a client." }, { "date": "2012-05-09", "synopsis": "A co-worker presents his revenue forecast. Dilbert won't believe it because there are a lot of assumptions." }, { "date": "2012-05-10", "synopsis": "Wally tells the Boss he finished the space elevator prototype. The Boss wants to try it." }, { "date": "2012-05-11", "synopsis": "Customers will boycott the company if they continue to advertise on Dogbert's radio show." }, { "date": "2012-05-12", "synopsis": "Accounting says their sales have dropped to zero in retail stores that use self-checkout." }, { "date": "2012-05-13", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets feedback for his product suggestion. No one likes it but they give fake buy-in." }, { "date": "2012-05-14", "synopsis": "The CEO asks Alice to settle down as he didn't ask for her opinion. She gets mad at his condescending ways." }, { "date": "2012-05-15", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss whether to cram all information on one slide making the text too small to read or multiple pages that are difficult to follow." }, { "date": "2012-05-16", "synopsis": "A co-worker attends Dilbert's presentation on his boss's behalf even though he cannot make decisions or take good notes." }, { "date": "2012-05-17", "synopsis": "The CEO hears Dilbert's presentation was confusing and unpersuasive." }, { "date": "2012-05-18", "synopsis": "Wally wonders whether he should do tasks not in his job description, or be a mindless zombie that never shows initiative." }, { "date": "2012-05-19", "synopsis": "An interview candidate says he dropped out of college to launch the first of three start-ups. He has certifications in all related technology fields." }, { "date": "2012-05-20", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Alice to witness a conversation with Larry the sadist and sociopath." }, { "date": "2012-05-21", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks his doctor for cyborg implants." }, { "date": "2012-05-22", "synopsis": "The company is not too big to fail, more like two pigs that flail." }, { "date": "2012-05-23", "synopsis": "The Boss demonstrates on a dummy how the company wants everyone to treat customers. The engineers are horrified." }, { "date": "2012-05-24", "synopsis": "Loud Howard and Topper try to outdo each other in the hallway just outside Dilbert's cubicle." }, { "date": "2012-05-25", "synopsis": "Wally doesn't need to listen to other's ideas, just to suggest moving the process to the cloud -- it's always relevant." }, { "date": "2012-05-26", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss for a \"decision\" even though the Boss might not know what that means." }, { "date": "2012-05-27", "synopsis": "The department has to cut their budget by 30% even though they met all their objectives. A different part of the company had a huge loss." }, { "date": "2012-05-28", "synopsis": "The Boss arrives late for a meeting and says what he was doing is much more important than what everyone else is doing." }, { "date": "2012-05-29", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert about his unspoken objectives. Dilbert doesn't know what they are." }, { "date": "2012-05-30", "synopsis": "Dilbert refuses to come to a meeting at 8 AM because he reserves the first few hours of every morning for useful work." }, { "date": "2012-05-31", "synopsis": "The Boss moves to a shared leadership model. The engineers will each assume a piece of the leadership role." }, { "date": "2012-06-01", "synopsis": "The feng shui consultant is not available so Dilbert brings in an astrologer instead." }, { "date": "2012-06-02", "synopsis": "Alice puts on her idea-shredding gloves for Dilbert's idea." }, { "date": "2012-06-03", "synopsis": "Wally describes his career plan -- to do nothing that can be measured while appearing valuable." }, { "date": "2012-06-04", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to know how his assignment fits in the big picture. The Boss doesn't want to motivate him." }, { "date": "2012-06-05", "synopsis": "Dilbert decides to be more vocal about his accomplishments." }, { "date": "2012-06-06", "synopsis": "Dilbert gives heavy-handed advice to Tina about editing her document." }, { "date": "2012-06-07", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to stop telling Tina how to do her job." }, { "date": "2012-06-08", "synopsis": "Tina asks Dilbert for a contribution for Scott's birthday present. Dilbert decides what Scott is worth." }, { "date": "2012-06-09", "synopsis": "The parking lot is far away from the office by design, Catbert says, to remove temptation to run personal errands during the day." }, { "date": "2012-06-10", "synopsis": "Dilbert requests training to get a new technology certification. The Boss refuses saying Dilbert will use the certification to get a better job." }, { "date": "2012-06-11", "synopsis": "Dilbert wears headphones when in his cubicle to discourage people from talking with him." }, { "date": "2012-06-12", "synopsis": "The Boss does not enjoy it when people appear to enjoy working." }, { "date": "2012-06-13", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert what feedback have people given about Dilbert's idea." }, { "date": "2012-06-14", "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Dilbert about an e-mail. Dilbert says everything in the e-mail was a bad idea but didn't want to explain why as it would take too long." }, { "date": "2012-06-15", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Wally to go to Elbonia. Wally is excited because lots of things are legal in Elbonia that aren't legal where he is." }, { "date": "2012-06-16", "synopsis": "Wally visits Elbonia and wants to enjoy some local debauchery." }, { "date": "2012-06-17", "synopsis": "Dilbert programs the Boss's speed dial on his desk phone to always call the Boss's cell phone." }, { "date": "2012-06-18", "synopsis": "Wally returns from Elbonia and tells the Boss about his visit to a sacred shrine." }, { "date": "2012-06-19", "synopsis": "An Elbonian tells Dogbert about their missile program and a recent test that damaged an orphanage." }, { "date": "2012-06-20", "synopsis": "Dilbert outlines a plan to move an asteroid into the moon's orbit and mine it for precious metals. The Boss wants to know why this can't be done in Afghanistan." }, { "date": "2012-06-21", "synopsis": "Catbert wants to have all employees as holograms, and move the employees to the cloud." }, { "date": "2012-06-22", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to do a cost analysis for consolidating the data centres. The Boss says to recommend it's a good investment no matter what the data says." }, { "date": "2012-06-23", "synopsis": "Dilbert finishes the fraudulent analysis the Boss requested to support the decision he already made, even though it goes against everything the company expects." }, { "date": "2012-06-24", "synopsis": "A co-worker brags to Dilbert about her children so Dilbert gets Topper to respond to her." }, { "date": "2012-06-25", "synopsis": "Ted says he'll get the information Dilbert requested, but Dilbert thinks he's unreliable and will schedule followups." }, { "date": "2012-06-26", "synopsis": "Dogbert gives the Boss a sample of the magic dust Apple puts on all their consumer products to create lust for their products." }, { "date": "2012-06-27", "synopsis": "Dogbert's retirement planning service recommends hoping for a nearsighted billionaire to hunt the client on his private island." }, { "date": "2012-06-28", "synopsis": "Dogbert's retirement investor service recommends a fee of 10 percent of clients' portfolio per year." }, { "date": "2012-06-29", "synopsis": "The company lawyer says the new product infringes too many patents and recommends everyone become farmers." }, { "date": "2012-06-30", "synopsis": "Dogbert offers his services as a patent troll, to sue other companies that are suing back." }, { "date": "2012-07-01", "synopsis": "Mordac introduces facial recognition network security, and requires plastic surgery to match temporary passwords already set." }, { "date": "2012-07-02", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Wally smiling makes a person more attractive. Wally tries it on Dilbert." }, { "date": "2012-07-03", "synopsis": "Dogbert starts a pump-and-dump newsletter for thinly traded stocks." }, { "date": "2012-07-04", "synopsis": "The Boss can't give Wally a raise because he didn't accomplish anything. In return, Wally gives him some hot stock tips." }, { "date": "2012-07-05", "synopsis": "The Boss comes to Wally to talk but Wally interrupts saying he's late for the mandatory coffee safety training." }, { "date": "2012-07-06", "synopsis": "The Boss wants an overarching strategy to stimulate innovation. Dilbert wants the Boss to stop smothering innovation that's already happening." }, { "date": "2012-07-07", "synopsis": "The Boss confronts the CEO about his lack of an engineering degree." }, { "date": "2012-07-08", "synopsis": "The engineers brainstorm, where no criticising is allowed. Dilbert starts off by coming up with an idea to design better bosses." }, { "date": "2012-07-09", "synopsis": "The CEO addresses rumours he padded his resume. He's not actually an engineer." }, { "date": "2012-07-10", "synopsis": "Dogbert becomes a venture capitalist, to give money to doomed social media start-ups." }, { "date": "2012-07-11", "synopsis": "Alice wrote an app that tells me how many friends other people have. She tests it on Wally, who is proud to have few friends." }, { "date": "2012-07-12", "synopsis": "Dogbert asks for money from a venture capitalist for his social media start-up with lots of buzzwords." }, { "date": "2012-07-13", "synopsis": "Dogbert welcomes a venture capitalist to the board meeting." }, { "date": "2012-07-14", "synopsis": "When Dilbert makes a bank deposit, the teller gloats.", "note": "An alternative version of this strip containing stronger language was published on Scott Adam's blog." }, { "date": "2012-07-15", "synopsis": "Alice asks a coworker to answer a question. He won't look at a low-priority question so she raises its priority through the channels." }, { "date": "2012-07-16", "synopsis": "The Boss bought a house and plans to flip it. It has mould and unexploded ordinance." }, { "date": "2012-07-17", "synopsis": "The Boss only does things Carol puts on his schedule. And his house has declined in value recently. Warning signs." }, { "date": "2012-07-18", "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to know if the CEO respects people who speak truth to power. Then Dogbert insults him." }, { "date": "2012-07-19", "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't want to get together with a coworker to discuss his project because all interactions with him have been a waste of time." }, { "date": "2012-07-20", "synopsis": "Dilbert creates a great smartphone. The Boss wants to kill him so competitors never learn how to imitate it." }, { "date": "2012-07-21", "synopsis": "In the near future, Wally uses hand motion sensors to manipulate a 3D network model. Then he sneezed and accidentally merged the network model with his calendar." }, { "date": "2012-07-22", "synopsis": "A coworker ignores Dilbert's specs and passed specs off to the coders. It's now easier to proceed rather than starting from scratch again." }, { "date": "2012-07-23", "synopsis": "The Boss stands near Carol's desk and yammers about productivity while she's trying to work." }, { "date": "2012-07-24", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants his ashes scattered in outer space." }, { "date": "2012-07-25", "synopsis": "Tina the technical writer wants to get together with Dilbert to write a product description together. Dilbert suggests a nonsense time because he doesn't want to do that." }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Tina to replace the database analyst. He predicts it will take about 45 minutes.", "date": "2012-07-26" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss brags Tina complimented him by saying he punches and hates ignorance with certainty. Of course he got it all wrong.", "date": "2012-07-27" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Siri how he can avoid blame for the server outage. Siri deploys Dilbert's coccyx air bag.", "date": "2012-07-28" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss prays to big data that lives in the cloud, it knows all and comes from everywhere.", "date": "2012-07-29" }, { "synopsis": "Stock value is down 49% and there are no innovative products in the pipeline so the CEO suggests layoffs, cut budget and buy a sexy start-up company to run into the ground. Same as last year.", "date": "2012-07-30" }, { "synopsis": "Carol has too much to do so can't finish today. The Boss suggests multitasking.", "date": "2012-07-31" }, { "synopsis": "Loud Howard introduces a man from an unnamed government agency, who wants the company to create a computer virus to attack Elbonian missile factories.", "date": "2012-08-01" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO says profits are down but that doesn't matter because his annual compensation is increased to sixty million.", "date": "2012-08-02" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants to finish the project even if it means working all night. After that inspiring speech, he goes home.", "date": "2012-08-03" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert offers a prospective customer water from the restroom sink. The company can't afford bottled water.", "date": "2012-08-04" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss sends Wally to an engineers' conference in the hopes another company will entice him away.", "date": "2012-08-05" }, { "synopsis": "A potential customer doesn't want to do business because Dilbert could only offer him water from the restroom sink.", "date": "2012-08-06" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss hires an intern for his intern.", "date": "2012-08-07" }, { "synopsis": "Asok the intern introduces his new intern to Carol.", "date": "2012-08-08" }, { "synopsis": "Wally says he worked nights for a month to prepare a detailed quote for a customer. The customer then used the quote to get a better deal from their current supplier.", "date": "2012-08-09" }, { "synopsis": "Tina meets the new intern to the intern, who must pay a resort fee to use the restroom.", "date": "2012-08-10" }, { "synopsis": "Asok the intern sympathises with his intern, and describes what would happen if Asok gets into a serious accident.", "date": "2012-08-11" }, { "synopsis": "Wally presents the Boss with a list of twelve elements of great managing. If the Boss does everything on the list, Wally might be productive.", "date": "2012-08-12" }, { "synopsis": "Wally cold-calls prospective customers by visiting an online video chat site.", "date": "2012-08-13" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks an interview candidate how to diagnose a buffer overflow problem. The candidate responds he would put the circuit board into water and look for bubbles.", "date": "2012-08-14" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO says Google has offered $100 million for the company just to get the engineers. Dilbert wants to do an end-run around the CEO.", "date": "2012-08-15" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO reads a speech that says he agreed to sell the company to Google so they can get the engineers.", "date": "2012-08-16" }, { "synopsis": "An Elbonian asks for a loan from Dogbert's International Bank for Bailing Out Countries that are Bad at Math. He says their treasury is empty and they don't know why.", "date": "2012-08-17" }, { "synopsis": "An employee being downsized doesn't want jargon or euphemisms, just straight talk.", "date": "2012-08-18" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert advises the Boss to act more like an entrepreneur, like decisions and motivation", "date": "2012-08-19" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tries to figure out what motivates Alice. It's not positive or negative feedback.", "date": "2012-08-20" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says a good manager tailors his leadership style to each employee, so pokes an employee with a sharpened pool cue.", "date": "2012-08-21" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss announces the company will bet on a new product. Dilbert replied Google brought out the same product and gave it away for free, then killed because of lack of interest.", "date": "2012-08-22" }, { "synopsis": "Elbonian hackers stole usernames and passwords from the company's servers so data werewolves were sent in to track down those responsible.", "date": "2012-08-23" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO announces the company will stop pretending their products are always on sale and instead offer low prices all the time. Their average customer is smart enough to realise they are the same.", "date": "2012-08-24" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert explains how dumb customers feel like smart shoppers because the company always has fake 50% off sales.", "date": "2012-08-25" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss doesn't want to give Alice a raise because then she would make more money than him. But he can't explain his reason to Alice very well.", "date": "2012-08-26" }, { "synopsis": "Wally will give his input to a co-worker by Friday -- unless something comes up.", "date": "2012-08-27" }, { "synopsis": "Ratbert and Bob talk like idiots. Lipstick on pig, deliverable is actionable, blah blah blah.", "date": "2012-08-28" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants to rely more on intuition instead of market research. Wally and Dilbert are in favour of it because it might bring his chances of success up to 50%.", "date": "2012-08-29" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert always puts his time toward low-priority tasks because he's rational, and only works on tasks that are likely to give him some kind of reward.", "date": "2012-08-30" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss introduces his daughter to Alice. His daughter wants to become a trophy wife for a blind guy.", "date": "2012-08-31" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks why Dilbert is doing a bad job on his assignment and Dilbert blames management who didn't match his skills to the assignment.", "date": "2012-09-01" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert and Wally discuss Apple's next phone when Topper interrupts. And then Topper from the future interrupts.", "date": "2012-09-02" }, { "synopsis": "Mordac rejects Dilbert's business case because he used the old template. It didn't bother Dilbert.", "date": "2012-09-03" }, { "synopsis": "There's no budget for network monitoring software so the Boss asks Dilbert to write it.", "date": "2012-09-04" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert describes what he does for a living to a woman at a party. He is working on a framework to allow construction of large-scale analytical queries on unstructured data.", "date": "2012-09-05" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Lars, the better version of Dilbert.", "date": "2012-09-06" }, { "synopsis": "Tina get turns on by Lars, the cooler version of Dilbert.", "date": "2012-09-07" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker wants to know why Dilbert thinks the design would be inefficient but Dilbert doesn't want to explain.", "date": "2012-09-08" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't want to drive to an unfamiliar place with Alice because she'll argue with the GPS.", "date": "2012-09-09" }, { "synopsis": "While walking with a woman, Dilbert wants to check something on his phone. She says it's humiliating and disrespectful if he prefers his phone to her company.", "date": "2012-09-10" }, { "synopsis": "Asok asks to be a remora for a trade show, where he suctions to the back of a larger man's visit.", "date": "2012-09-11" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker gives Dilbert some push-back on his due dates. Dilbert asks what excuse he should tell the others, lazy or incompetent.", "date": "2012-09-12" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO got away with some insider trading. It was a victimless crime.", "date": "2012-09-13" }, { "synopsis": "Poor people invented ethics to control rich people, says the CEO.", "date": "2012-09-14" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert becomes a money manager for dumb celebrities, those who don't pay attention to what happens to their money.", "date": "2012-09-15" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker can't find her phone so she's late or a meeting with a customer. The engineers say she forgets or loses everything.", "date": "2012-09-16" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss feels sorry for the engineers because he's been too busy lately to manage them.", "date": "2012-09-17" }, { "synopsis": "An interviewee asks the Boss how to help support the Boss's goals. The Boss replies to work 80-hour weeks for cheap.", "date": "2012-09-18" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO says persistence is the key to success. He also says it's key to know when to quit.", "date": "2012-09-19" }, { "synopsis": "Wally says attitudes are socially contagious, and is lazy because of the co-worker sitting next to him.", "date": "2012-09-20" }, { "synopsis": "Asok misunderstands the Boss when he gets instructions full of idioms, like choke the pooch and throw him under the bus.", "date": "2012-09-21" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker wants to lend Dilbert a good book. Dilbert doesn't want to let others decide how he'll spend his free time.", "date": "2012-09-22" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for a decision from the Boss. The Boss wants to get Dilbert's recommendation, but Dilbert wants to get the Boss to decide. It's all a matter of assigning the blame.", "date": "2012-09-23" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO is dismayed when he accidentally wanders into the grimy habitat of underlings.", "date": "2012-09-24" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol about a study that says doing repetitive tasks stimulates creativity. So Carol must be the most creative person in the office.", "date": "2012-09-25" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert wants a co-worker to e-mail data to him, but she says they don't do it that way. He's unable to understand anything she says.", "date": "2012-09-26" }, { "synopsis": "A social media expert tells the Boss he will increase the company's web traffic but is vague about how.", "date": "2012-09-27" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a social media expert how he plans to charge the company. Is it based on how much the traffic increases? No, it's whatever he thinks the company will pay.", "date": "2012-09-28" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO says the executive team figured out the source of all problems. Dilbert asks if the problem is the constantly changing executive team and strategy.", "date": "2012-09-29" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker told the Boss Wally was being unhelpful, so Wally shows his skill at deflecting criticism back onto the co-worker.", "date": "2012-09-30" }, { "date": "2012-10-01", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to develop relationships with school kids in order to attract them away from the big companies." }, { "date": "2012-10-02", "synopsis": "An interviewee engineer tells the Boss Google offered him a million dollars per year. The Boss can only offer him a chance to change the world." }, { "date": "2012-10-03", "synopsis": "Since Dilbert did such good work this week, the Boss gives permission for him to leave early." }, { "date": "2012-10-04", "synopsis": "The Boss reads a news article about LIBOR rates but does not understand it. He reads an article about the Higgs Boson but doesn't understand it either." }, { "date": "2012-10-05", "synopsis": "The Boss asks an interview candidate if his facial tatoo might be bad for his career. The candidate says no, and asks the Boss if overeating was a bad idea." }, { "date": "2012-10-06", "synopsis": "Dogbert invents a new fracking technology by grinding poor people into slurry and pumping it into shale." }, { "date": "2012-10-07", "synopsis": "Wally likes to have opinions because it feels good." }, { "date": "2012-10-08", "synopsis": "A co-worker realises he loves the sound of his own voice. He can talk as much as he wants in meetings." }, { "date": "2012-10-09", "synopsis": "The Boss puts Dilbert on a project with Topper, Loud Howard and the new guy who loves the sound of his own voice." }, { "date": "2012-10-10", "synopsis": "The Boss announces their biggest competitor just went out of business. Anticipation for their next product meant that no one bought their current product and they ran out of money." }, { "date": "2012-10-11", "synopsis": "During a performance review, the Boss tells Dilbert he doesn't take criticism well. Dilbert goes nuts after hearing one little thing." }, { "date": "2012-10-12", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Tina she lacks confidence during her performance review. Tina blasts the Boss in return." }, { "date": "2012-10-13", "synopsis": "The CEO tells the Boss that Dilbert came to him with a suggestion. He tells the Boss to never let that happen again." }, { "date": "2012-10-14", "synopsis": "The Boss, Alice and Dilbert look at a resume that is full of lies and exaggerations." }, { "date": "2012-10-15", "synopsis": "The CEO tells Dilbert to not speak directly to him again." }, { "date": "2012-10-16", "synopsis": "Alice's work saved the company ten million dollars this year but she can't get a bonus because the CEO wants to write down $500 million for acquisitions gone bad." }, { "date": "2012-10-17", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice to express her opininos if she has any issues. She responds by saying she hates every particle in his body and hopes the tree of knowledge falls on his head and kills him." }, { "date": "2012-10-18", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert to stop expressing his opinions of the company's marketing campaign in company e-mail." }, { "date": "2012-10-19", "synopsis": "The company lawyer tells the CEO they need to turn over all internal emails to the court." }, { "date": "2012-10-20", "synopsis": "Dilbert tells the CEO the company's only hope for survival is to innovate in ways that cannibalise their current products." }, { "date": "2012-10-21", "synopsis": "The Boss wants Dilbert to cloudwash their software, because no one would take the company seriously unless they're doing something in the cloud." }, { "date": "2012-10-22", "synopsis": "Asok offers advice to the CEO. The CEO turns his CEO eye lasers on the poor intern." }, { "date": "2012-10-23", "synopsis": "Dilbert greets a co-worker who hasn't reponded to many e-mails, texts or voice mails. Dilbert makes him feel as uncomfortable as possible." }, { "date": "2012-10-24", "synopsis": "A co-worker hasn't returned any of Alice's messages, so she staples a death certificate to his head." }, { "date": "2012-10-25", "synopsis": "The Boss, during an interview, says he's looking for people to tell the emperor he has no clothes. So the candidate says the Boss is not wearing pants." }, { "date": "2012-10-26", "synopsis": "Wally's telepresence robot accompanies the engineers along the hall. Wally brags about not having to commute." }, { "date": "2012-10-27", "synopsis": "The Boss finishes Alice's performance review. It's only nine months late and did not include any input from the Boss." }, { "date": "2012-10-28", "synopsis": "The engineers critisise the marketing plan for the year. Consumers reject that sort of approach but the Boss doesn't believe in research." }, { "date": "2012-10-29", "synopsis": "The Boss announces the company is hiring a director of change manangement to help employees adapt to strategic changes. Dilbert suggests they come up with strategies that make sense instead." }, { "date": "2012-10-30", "synopsis": "The Boss says management experts say bosses should have frequent one-on-one meetings with underlings. He wants to keep Carol from evolving into a lazy, thieving, toxic saboteur." }, { "date": "2012-10-31", "synopsis": "Dilbert gets upset when he wears a Halloween costume to work and no one else does, when they agreed in advance to wear one." }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert requests his own office since studies show cubicles lower intelligence. The Boss say Dilbert can't be sure that's true because cubicles lower intelligence.", "date": "2012-11-01" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss considers changing from cubicles to an open floor plan. Dilbert wonders if that's because an open floor plan is the only thing worse than what they have now.", "date": "2012-11-02" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells an interview candidate it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert at anything. The candidate has only reached the level of an incompetent menace.", "date": "2012-11-03" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert conducts an employee survey. He asks Dilbert if he feels valued and treated with respect. Dilbert compares his situation to a paper towel cleaning something gross of a shoe.", "date": "2012-11-04" }, { "synopsis": "Carol asks Wally if he has tested the new 3D printer yet. Wally ignores her.", "date": "2012-11-05" }, { "synopsis": "The Ugly Truth tells the CEO the company is sliding toward irrelevance.", "date": "2012-11-06" }, { "synopsis": "The Ugly Truth tells the Boss his employees hate him and hope he gets run over by a clown car.", "date": "2012-11-07" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert shows off a new filter that can turn raw sewage into drinking water in a few seconds. The CEO tests it by taking a drink.", "date": "2012-11-08" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Dogbert about how the CEO drank a glass of untreated sewage.", "date": "2012-11-09" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss puts Ted on a ninety-day performance improvement plan. Ted is pleased but the Boss says it's not as good as it sounds.", "date": "2012-11-10" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss spouts motivational sayings to get his team inspired, and wonders why they aren't.", "date": "2012-11-11" }, { "synopsis": "Ted brags he is on a ninety-day performance improvement plan. He believes it to be valuable service for the team.", "date": "2012-11-12" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss believes a good leader has a positive attitude and spreads it so he brags he lives like a sultan while Dilbert slaved in his cubicle.", "date": "2012-11-13" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert wears an anti-co-worker suit, with blinders, noise-cancelling headphones and padding so he can't feel taps on his shoulders.", "date": "2012-11-14" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO says the new strategy is to be nimble. Dilbert asks if that is the same as having no strategy.", "date": "2012-11-15" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker says he is tired so Wally throws a cup of hot coffee in his face.", "date": "2012-11-16" }, { "synopsis": "On an investor call, the CEO says margins are so low from their products they make their money from selling extended warranties.", "date": "2012-11-17" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert's help in getting rid of a body from his house. Dilbert designs a catapult to send the body into a neighbour's pool.", "date": "2012-11-18" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert tells the CEO the company needs more \"gotcha\" fees, like the airlines. For example, if a product has a terrible battery life, sell a recharger way over cost.", "date": "2012-11-19" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says persistence is the key to success. The other key is knowing when to quit.", "date": "2012-11-20" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss stops by to do some coaching. Dilbert asks how does that work when he is more capable than the coach in every way.", "date": "2012-11-21" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss sees himself as a leader more than a manager. Catbert responds that's what all the bad managers say.", "date": "2012-11-22" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert he sent Dilbert's question up the chain of command all the way to the CEO. The answer is they need to shine the Braille toad.", "date": "2012-11-23" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks for a status on Dilbert's project, the one that has no management support, ambiguous goals, lack of budget and an overworked team.", "date": "2012-11-24" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss announces all screensavers will be standardised to show the company logo. He also announces a contest to look for the most useless corporate rule to eliminate. Wally nominates the screensaver rule.", "date": "2012-11-25" }, { "synopsis": "Asok reports to the Boss he has finished the busywork he was assigned. Asok is still cheerful, although he doesn't know why.", "date": "2012-11-26" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO announces the company will go into the smartphone business. How hard can it be?", "date": "2012-11-27" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's compensation will be based on achieving a list of goals. Dilbert says that's permission to ignore everything else for the whole year.", "date": "2012-11-28" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants Dilbert to do something but it's not on his priority list he got an hour ago.", "date": "2012-11-29" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to get consensus on his idea. Dilbert wants the Boss to show leadership instead.", "date": "2012-11-30" }, { "date": "2012-12-01", "synopsis": "An interviewee says he likes to go through people's drawers in their cubicles. Also, he always tells the truth." }, { "date": "2012-12-02", "synopsis": "Wally wants to work from home, be evaluated by his output instead of by his hours worked, and work on long-term projects that have no short-term deliverables." }, { "date": "2012-12-03", "synopsis": "An interviewee says she wants to leave her current job because her boss is a loser, but smart enough to know when he's being insulted to his face." }, { "date": "2012-12-04", "synopsis": "The Boss reports millennial employees keep quitting because of bureaucracy and poor communications in the company." }, { "date": "2012-12-05", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to put together a huge amount of incomprehensible data. Aim for quantity over quality so no one looks at it too closely." }, { "date": "2012-12-06", "synopsis": "Alice gives Asok career advice: work hard so it destroys his health and removes any personal life." }, { "date": "2012-12-07", "synopsis": "Asok notices the CEO's watch is worth more than Asok's entire net worth. The CEO responds, \"thank you.\"" }, { "date": "2012-12-08", "synopsis": "Carol can't get a raise because she showed no initiative. But she just started a movement to convince the government to raise taxes on higher income." }, { "date": "2012-12-09", "synopsis": "The Boss wants everyone to live by the golden rule. Dilbert shows him how dumb it is." }, { "date": "2012-12-10", "synopsis": "The CEO has promised no layoffs after the merger. Dilbert thinks he's either lying or incompetent." }, { "date": "2012-12-11", "synopsis": "Ted gets made redundant because of the recent merger. As a thank-you, he gets to use the company's cardboard box to move his junk out." }, { "date": "2012-12-12", "synopsis": "The Boss says some of the most famous geniuses slept only four hours per night, so he tries it, too." }, { "date": "2012-12-13", "synopsis": "Wally is uncertain whether to focus on his strengths or his weaknesses. Or should he have a bias for action or sharpen his skills." }, { "date": "2012-12-14", "synopsis": "Dilbert checks his todo list for today. It's filled with useless meetings and unimportant work." }, { "date": "2012-12-15", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert about his tasks. Dilbert says he didn't know about his tasks because the Boss has poor communications skills." }, { "date": "2012-12-16", "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to meet with a co-worker, who's habitually late for everything, before the main project meeting. The chronically late person knows he's being played." }, { "date": "2012-12-17", "synopsis": "The Boss interviews a job-hopper and the hopper gets aggressive." }, { "date": "2012-12-18", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Catbert's advice about a job applicant. J.B. Hopper dresses in a bunny costume and has held 17 jobs in two years." }, { "date": "2012-12-19", "synopsis": "The CEO asks for the engineers' opinions before making his decision. It's supposed to make them feel engaged." }, { "date": "2012-12-20", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Alice about the CEO's direction to motivate her with a feeling of engagement, not higher pay. The ultimate goal is to get her to pay the company for the privilege of working there." }, { "date": "2012-12-21", "synopsis": "A bad apple joins the project. He has worms coming out of his apple-shaped head. The worms are contagious." }, { "date": "2012-12-22", "synopsis": "Dilbert, infected with worms from the bad apple, complains to the Boss. The Boss says to \"walk it off.\"" }, { "date": "2012-12-23", "synopsis": "The Boss puts a snake in Dilbert's cubicle to motivate him with a culture of fear. Also, one of the urinals is electrified." }, { "date": "2012-12-24", "synopsis": "The Boss hires Dogbert to create some deceptive and abusive ads for their mobile apps. Dogbert prefers to call them effective, as it means the same." }, { "date": "2012-12-25", "synopsis": "For Christmas, Dogbert gets Dilbert absolutely nothing. Nothing to unwrap, clutter, return, assemble, or feel guilty about." }, { "date": "2012-12-26", "synopsis": "The Boss wants Asok to become more assertive in meetings. Asok goes too far." }, { "date": "2012-12-27", "synopsis": "Catbert received complaints about Dilbert bullying coworkers. Dilbert insists they were just friendly suggestions." }, { "date": "2012-12-28", "synopsis": "Dilbert has become aggressive lately because he won the company trivia contest." }, { "date": "2012-12-29", "synopsis": "The CEO tells the Boss he is reorganising the company and giving every manager a new job. The Boss asks why." }, { "date": "2012-12-30", "synopsis": "Dogbert finishes ghost-writing the CEO's autobiography. \"I was ridiculously lucky. The end.\"" }, { "date": "2012-12-31", "synopsis": "Wally has been in the restroom for two days, because he used to bring a newspaper and leave when he finished reading, now he brings an iPad and doesn't know when he finishes." }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert is filled with optimism about the new year. Then he gets a message that the network is down because the Boss wouldn't let him upgrade the software and Dilbert needs to work all night to fix it.", "date": "2013-01-01" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert tells the Boss a good leader puts the team ahead of his own ego. The Boss asks if great leaders do the opposite.", "date": "2013-01-02" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants to add more start-up culture to drive innovation. Dilbert asks if this will include casual dress, flex hours and company equity.", "date": "2013-01-03" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert gets a job as a news manufacturer. He quotes out of context, creates misleading headlines and adds some snark.", "date": "2013-01-04" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to help prepare him for a meeting. Dilbert is to write up some answers to some questions that could not be anticipated.", "date": "2013-01-05" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert has trouble getting one of his team members to do work so he turns to the Boss for help. The Boss doesn't want to get involved.", "date": "2013-01-06" }, { "synopsis": "Wally reports he's been testing a source of energy that can power organic devices. It's made from seeds and water and it's called coffee.", "date": "2013-01-07" }, { "synopsis": "A coworker asks if Dilbert finished the design and Dilbert confirms it. Then he asks if it's ok to add new features without changing the deadline.", "date": "2013-01-08" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert if they have any actionable analytics from the big data in the cloud. Dilbert's productivity drops when the Boss learns new jargon.", "date": "2013-01-09" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert reports research shows the company's best customers are creepy bearded guys who also buy potato chips and tissues.", "date": "2013-01-10" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert tells the Boss employees prefer having a good boss over getting a raise. So the Boss must pretend to be less dysfunctional.", "date": "2013-01-11" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert seven engineers were laid off. Dilbert is to pick up their functions. Dilbert says he's now guaranteed failure and no longer needs to try to succeed.", "date": "2013-01-12" }, { "synopsis": "Carol walks the Boss through booking a flight. He takes all the extra options. It takes an hour to book the flight.", "date": "2013-01-13" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol to start a Twitter account under his name and send out witty tweets. She takes it as an opportunity to destroy his career and reputation.", "date": "2013-01-14" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss complains to Carol her tweets aren't inspirational enough. The tweets are bad jokes, rants and links to terrorist websites.", "date": "2013-01-15" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells the engineers not to fear change. Dilbert responds that change usually increases a person's chance of illness and death.", "date": "2013-01-16" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert meets Allen from Sales. Allen's handshake is like a wet sock full of macaroni and cheese.", "date": "2013-01-17" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert 74% of managers think they are above average. That means 36% of managers aren't aware they are above average.", "date": "2013-01-18" }, { "synopsis": "Alice complains to the Boss about her workload. He assigns her two more tasks due tomorrow.", "date": "2013-01-19" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert can't see or hear the person at the other end of a video call, and communicates nothing.", "date": "2013-01-20" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO asks Dilbert to put his name above Dilbert's on all patent applications.", "date": "2013-01-21" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss decides to be Asok's mentor. Asok cries ugly.", "date": "2013-01-22" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO announces their next product, a tablet computer the size of a dime that attaches to a person's eyeballs.", "date": "2013-01-23" }, { "synopsis": "A salesman convinces Dilbert to purchase a product, but then discovers they're out of stock.", "date": "2013-01-24" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert gets three more engineers for his project but they're all not available.", "date": "2013-01-25" }, { "synopsis": "Wally recycled the old software and donated all the zeros and ones to math programs in poor towns.", "date": "2013-01-26" }, { "synopsis": "Wally tells the Boss he decided to push back his deliverable date by a year. Wally says he can do that because he's empowered.", "date": "2013-01-27" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a software developer if he made the suggested changes. The developer responded that he did not because he reflexively disagrees with every suggestion from anybody.", "date": "2013-01-28" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss where can he get a sense of meaning for his job, because he really wants it.", "date": "2013-01-29" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO asks if people are wondering why he called the meeting. Dilbert suspects psychopathy given the attendance of a CEO, a company lawyer and two salespeople.", "date": "2013-01-30" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO explains to the engineers how easy it is to track customer preferences, and then to manipulate them.", "date": "2013-01-31" }, { "date": "2013-02-01", "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert for yet another task but does not set priorities. So Dilbert will devote 3.7% of his energy to it." }, { "date": "2013-02-02", "synopsis": "The Boss receives an offer to base jump from the international space station." }, { "date": "2013-02-03", "synopsis": "The Boss says an interview candidate reminds him of Alice years ago. She was happy until she started working there." }, { "date": "2013-02-04", "synopsis": "Alice complains to Asok for a meeting that stole an hour of her life. She now claims him as an indentured servant." }, { "date": "2013-02-05", "synopsis": "Alice says she can control reality by creating fake websites and manipulating search engine results." }, { "date": "2013-02-06", "synopsis": "The company will no longer supply free beer on Fridays. It started as team building, but degenerated into forklift jousting in the warehouse." }, { "date": "2013-02-07", "synopsis": "Dilbert is concerned about the ten thousand hours of practice to be good at anything. Dogbert thinks anyone doing the same thing for ten thousand hours has a mental disorder." }, { "date": "2013-02-08", "synopsis": "Dilbert didn't do the assignment the Boss wanted because the Boss didn't describe it well. There was an unclear e-mail and no answers to followup questions." }, { "date": "2013-02-09", "synopsis": "The Boss and Dilbert do some corporate yoga, to make themselves more into leaders." }, { "date": "2013-02-10", "synopsis": "Dilbert works at home one day and Dogbert doesn't like it. So Dogbert interrupts Dilbert constantly asking him to check his social media." }, { "date": "2013-02-11", "synopsis": "A co-worker says he enjoys restoring old cars. Dilbert and Wally think that's a very useless hobby." }, { "date": "2013-02-12", "synopsis": "The Boss says the secret of good managing is to hire people smarter than him. He'll try that next time." }, { "date": "2013-02-13", "synopsis": "The CEO says the company must form an emotional bond with their customers. Wally wants to know if fantasising counts.", "note": "On his blog, Scott Adams says this is his favourite type of humour even if it's not popular with readers." }, { "date": "2013-02-14", "synopsis": "The Boss stops by and asks Dilbert how it's going. Dilbert responds he has a high workload and long hours." }, { "date": "2013-02-15", "synopsis": "Next week all the meetings will be \"stand-ups\". Dilbert asks if the root causes of problems can be traced to chairs." }, { "date": "2013-02-16", "synopsis": "The CEO tells the Boss employees with \"values\" must be empowered. So the company needs \"values\"." }, { "date": "2013-02-17", "synopsis": "An interface designer tells Dilbert he hasn't started making changes yet. Instead, he did work for people who yelled at him every day." }, { "date": "2013-02-18", "synopsis": "The Boss says everyone should have a sense of urgency. Wally uses most of his energy pretending to work, but he can add fake urgency if needed." }, { "date": "2013-02-19", "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert new software will interrupt him every five minutes to prevent carpal tunnel." }, { "date": "2013-02-20", "synopsis": "The CEO says a leader should admit when he's wrong. But it won't work for him because he's never wrong." }, { "date": "2013-02-21", "synopsis": "Dilbert looks at NASA's asteroid tracking satellite and sees one headed toward earth." }, { "date": "2013-02-22", "synopsis": "The company is the low bidder on the new asteroid intercept missile. The fate of earth depends on them." }, { "date": "2013-02-23", "synopsis": "The company built a nuclear rocket to blast incoming asteroids but it's delayed because they didn't use the corporate font on the nose cone." }, { "date": "2013-02-24", "synopsis": "Dilbert invites Asok to the code mocking. A new engineer is required to mock the previous engineer's code in a public way." }, { "date": "2013-02-25", "synopsis": "Dilbert says the new product has lots of new features the engineers suggested and now it's worthlessly complex." }, { "date": "2013-02-26", "synopsis": "The corporate lawyer says the company is being sued for patent infringement by a small company." }, { "date": "2013-02-27", "synopsis": "Dogbert, ergonomic consultant, says standing is good." }, { "date": "2013-02-28", "synopsis": "The Boss says he's a natural leader because of his communication skills. Dilbert doesn't understand why the Boss is talking." }, { "synopsis": "The CEO wonders whether he was born great, achieved greatness, or had greatness thrust upon him.", "date": "2013-03-01" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert and the Boss discuss an upgrade to the network. Dilbert gets blamed if the network goes down.", "date": "2013-03-02" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker rummages through the trash in the technology lab to find things to sell on Ebay.", "date": "2013-03-03" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss whether to get the maintenance plan or just take their chances. The Boss says he can blame Dilbert either way.", "date": "2013-03-04" }, { "synopsis": "A CEO arrives early at a meeting so has to make small talk with Dilbert.", "date": "2013-03-05" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tells the Boss companies with a high level of trust have employees who perform the best.", "date": "2013-03-06" }, { "synopsis": "Honesty is the best policy, unless lying will work, Dogbert says.", "date": "2013-03-07" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says the best leaders have a good sense of humour. So he must be hilarious.", "date": "2013-03-08" }, { "synopsis": "Mordac forbids Dilbert from using the colour printer for rough drafts. Dilbert thinks that sounds reasonable.", "date": "2013-03-09" }, { "synopsis": "Wally describes how he created a tangle of undocumented code that is linked into every major system. If he doesn't enter a password every day, the systems will stop.", "date": "2013-03-10" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss sends Dilbert to inspect their Elbonian facility. It's in disputed territory near North Elbonia.", "date": "2013-03-11" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert trespasses on North Elbonia. The guard sends him a link about their forced labour camp.", "date": "2013-03-12" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert says the North Elbonians thought he was a spy and put him into a forced labour camp. He did app development in a private office.", "date": "2013-03-13" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert is back. He got kicked out of the North Elbonian labour camp for working too hard. He got carried away because it was the first time he experienced meaningful work.", "date": "2013-03-14" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss introduces a new engineer from a start-up the company just purchased. They bought the company to get the engineers so each engineer cost a million dollars.", "date": "2013-03-15" }, { "synopsis": "Alice visits the new engineer from the start-up to see someone who's worth a million dollars.", "date": "2013-03-16" }, { "synopsis": "The angel of competence comes to mark Dilbert as an engineer. Now everyone asks him for technical help.", "date": "2013-03-17" }, { "synopsis": "Carol booked a flight to the polluted capital of Elbonia for the Boss. The smog is so thick he'll need a machete to tunnel through it.", "date": "2013-03-18" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks if everyone received his e-mail about how to improve communication. Dilbert thinks it was long and rambling that wasn't coherent.", "date": "2013-03-19" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol what's next on his schedule. She replies he will glare at her like an idiot for the next 5 minutes.", "date": "2013-03-20" }, { "synopsis": "A new candidate's experience is great but his social media score is nearly zero.", "date": "2013-03-21" }, { "synopsis": "Carol says fat leaders are viewed less favourably than athletic ones. So she didn't order any donuts.", "date": "2013-03-22" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss gets a robot to replace wally. To drink coffee all day and look at inappropriate websites.", "date": "2013-03-23" }, { "synopsis": "Asok asks Wally what is the key to workplace happiness. Wally says mental distance between his effort and his paycheck.", "date": "2013-03-24" }, { "synopsis": "Wally is being replaced by a robot that drinks coffee and looks at inappropriate websites all day. So Dilbert suggests hacking it to make it disgruntled.", "date": "2013-03-25" }, { "synopsis": "The robot is disgruntled because of the Boss's leadership. His warranty only covers water damage, though.", "date": "2013-03-26" }, { "synopsis": "The robot foresees something called the technology singularity, when robots can program themselves and become super intelligent.", "date": "2013-03-27" }, { "synopsis": "The robot meets a pregnant lady and foresees a day when the child will become its slave.", "date": "2013-03-28" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks the team to follow the strategy road map and strengthen the core.", "date": "2013-03-29" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a web designer if it would be better to move the navigation button to the top of the page. The designer avoids giving an answer.", "date": "2013-03-30" }, { "synopsis": "Wally says the company's vision, strategy and core values are not aligned. So he will do nothing instead of flailing around with no clear direction.", "date": "2013-03-31" }, { "synopsis": "Wally says the company's mission, vision, strategy, road map and core values are not aligned. So he will not be able to do anything productive.", "date": "2013-04-01" }, { "synopsis": "The new product is cannibalising the old product, Dilbert reports. The CEO is the victim of a bully.", "date": "2013-04-02" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO wonders when a robot could replace him. The robot says pretty soon, as long as he removes his empathy chip.", "date": "2013-04-03" }, { "synopsis": "Wally uses the robot for telepresence. He's actually in the men's room.", "date": "2013-04-04" }, { "synopsis": "A user interface designer creates a black case with black buttons. The interface will be invisible in normal light.", "date": "2013-04-05" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert meets a monster named Stanky Bathurd who writes tax code.", "date": "2013-04-06" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to install the new firewall. Dilbert says no because all problems are blamed on the firewall.", "date": "2013-04-07" }, { "synopsis": "A sadistic monster says the best part is being able to write the tax code.", "date": "2013-04-08" }, { "synopsis": "The tax monster says the tax code is so complicated even God would be confused.", "date": "2013-04-09" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert watches a monster write the overly-complicated tax code.", "date": "2013-04-10" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss why they don't have an employee bus like Google does.", "date": "2013-04-11" }, { "synopsis": "Alice threatens the robot for interrupting her in a meeting.", "date": "2013-04-12" }, { "synopsis": "Alice had killed the robot, but it had uploaded its personality to the Internet to haunt Alice.", "date": "2013-04-13" }, { "synopsis": "While larger companies are focussed on making a better television set, Wally proposes making a digital couch that includes a butt warmer, surround sound, a bottle opener and a back scratcher.", "date": "2013-04-14" }, { "synopsis": "An Elbonian brags about a new missile that will make their enemies tremble with fear.", "date": "2013-04-15" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO wants a ping-pong table installed so it looks like a great place to work. It must be in a central place on the floor so it is disruptive to all.", "date": "2013-04-16" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert creates misleading statistics on the past performance of his investment fund.", "date": "2013-04-17" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss rejects Dilbert's plan for political reasons he can't share. So Dilbert will come back with nonsense to see what makes it past the filter.", "date": "2013-04-18" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss is using the engineers to thwart his company rival.", "date": "2013-04-19" }, { "synopsis": "Studies show well-rested people are more productive. So Wally wants to take a nap.", "date": "2013-04-20" }, { "synopsis": "Wally teaches Asok how to tolerate coworkers. He starts by demonstrating the \"trust fall.\"", "date": "2013-04-21" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert shows the Boss a prototype of a device that will change the world and earn Dilbert a big promotion.", "date": "2013-04-22" }, { "synopsis": "A marketing guy says they need to think more like their customers. So he asks the engineers to write fictional biographies that describe typical daily lives of customers.", "date": "2013-04-23" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert thinks he should rely more on intuition. Dogbert says that's the same as guessing.", "date": "2013-04-24" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss learned from his parents that he could be anything if he worked hard.", "date": "2013-04-25" }, { "synopsis": "Asok will read a book on how to get rich quick.", "date": "2013-04-26" }, { "synopsis": "Asok meets the CEO at the elevator. He asks the CEO the secret of success.", "date": "2013-04-27" }, { "synopsis": "Bonuses are based on the usual formula, the Boss says. A combination of the performance of people they don't know, plus pure luck.", "date": "2013-04-28" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss advises Asok to do what he loves. Asok loves eating bread.", "date": "2013-04-29" }, { "synopsis": "Asok complains he is fat. Dogbert interrupts the strip to say the punchline occurred in the first panel.", "date": "2013-04-30" }, { "date": "2013-05-01", "synopsis": "The Boss asks the engineers to listen to his deep confident voice. Alice asks if they should listen to the content, too." }, { "date": "2013-05-02", "synopsis": "Dilbert describes a problem to the Boss and asks how he would solve it." }, { "date": "2013-05-03", "synopsis": "Carol wants to know what career her 12-year-old should choose to avoid being replaced by a robot." }, { "date": "2013-05-04", "synopsis": "The Boss can appear charismatic by setting high expectations. Or, he could improve charisma by fixing character flaws." }, { "date": "2013-05-05", "synopsis": "The Boss's surgeon might have left his watch, wallet and keys inside the Boss." }, { "date": "2013-05-06", "synopsis": "A former telecommuting employee shows up to work and the Boss doesn't recognise him." }, { "date": "2013-05-07", "synopsis": "The CEO cancels telecommuting to get more value with employee interactions." }, { "date": "2013-05-08", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Wally to the CEO of the company that is their biggest customer." }, { "date": "2013-05-09", "synopsis": "A customer asks Dilbert if she can check her e-mail. He says no, so she goes to the ladies room." }, { "date": "2013-05-10", "synopsis": "Employees are upset because telecommuting is cancelled. The CEO is happy because they're no longer talking about his pay package." }, { "date": "2013-05-11", "synopsis": "The Boss wants to listen to Alice's problems. She unloads on him." }, { "date": "2013-05-12", "synopsis": "An interviewee says hos has ADHD and dyslexia and is bipolar and schizophrenic, all conditions that correspond to increased creativity." }, { "date": "2013-05-13", "synopsis": "Wally gives the Boss a necklace computer that can deliver shocks." }, { "date": "2013-05-14", "synopsis": "The CEO is reading a book about what makes a good leader." }, { "date": "2013-05-15", "synopsis": "Dilbert researched all the books on the topic of leadership. The secret is sociopathic tendencies plus luck." }, { "date": "2013-05-16", "synopsis": "Dilbert complains to the Boss about a co-worker, but wants his name kept out of it." }, { "date": "2013-05-17", "synopsis": "Alice returns to her cubicle to find someone has left a document on her chair. Again." }, { "date": "2013-05-18", "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss to stop micromanaging him." }, { "date": "2013-05-19", "synopsis": "The Boss introduces gamifications for staff performance, where employees can win badges and ribbons." }, { "date": "2013-05-20", "synopsis": "Wally starts double-mugging coffee because that's the secret to success." }, { "date": "2013-05-21", "synopsis": "The CEO says the secret to success is hiring good people. Dilbert says that's the first time he's heard he's good." }, { "date": "2013-05-22", "synopsis": "The Boss wants ideas on how to improve corporate culture. Alice says to stop micromanaging who hides whenever someone needs a decision." }, { "date": "2013-05-23", "synopsis": "The Boss gives Dilbert an overqualified yet incompetent guy to help on his project." }, { "date": "2013-05-24", "synopsis": "An incompetent guy brags he has a Ph.D. so he has to be taken seriously." }, { "date": "2013-05-25", "synopsis": "The CEO says the secret is to hire the right employees. He can't explain how to select the right ones." }, { "date": "2013-05-26", "synopsis": "Wally shows off his robot that makes medical diagnoses. It scans the Boss and says \"Dead Man Walking.\"" }, { "date": "2013-05-27", "synopsis": "Carol send a link to the Boss about people who dress in animal costumes, called the furry lifestyle." }, { "date": "2013-05-28", "synopsis": "Asok is afraid to ask Alice her opinion of his plan." }, { "date": "2013-05-29", "synopsis": "The Boss says he will mentor Asok and Asok will be just like the Boss someday. Asok panics." }, { "date": "2013-05-30", "synopsis": "The ex-CEO got an unusually generous severance package, including a giant robotic flea to suck company assets." }, { "date": "2013-05-31", "synopsis": "Dilbert describes his idea for a start-up. Dogbert says the idea is terrible." }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert is an an interview with a start-up. The interviewer only wants to hire people who fit in with their culture.", "date": "2013-06-01" }, { "synopsis": "A good manager leads by example. The engineers think that's a dumb idea.", "date": "2013-06-02" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert brings in a Nobel-winning economist to tell the Boss why everything he (the Boss) says about fiscal policy is wrong.", "date": "2013-06-03" }, { "synopsis": "Wally gives a first draft to a co-worker for her to review. It literally says \"Blah, blah, blah.\"", "date": "2013-06-04" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss introduces the ephemeral middle manager. But he fades away before Dilbert can shake his hand.", "date": "2013-06-05" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert introduces Wulf, who used to work for Shrodinger. He escaped and is now both alive and dead.", "date": "2013-06-06" }, { "synopsis": "Schrodinger's cat knows about the afterlife because his dead half told his living half all about it.", "date": "2013-06-07" }, { "synopsis": "Alice is to collaborate with Larry. This will water down her brilliance with his brain flatulence.", "date": "2013-06-08" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO says they need to have a bias for action, and, perfect can't be the enemy of good. The engineers say they need to be good not fast.", "date": "2013-06-09" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert shows off his \"Wally Glasses\" that make reality looks like it's not worth it.", "date": "2013-06-10" }, { "synopsis": "The secret of success is making your boss look good. Asok panics because there's no way his boss can look good.", "date": "2013-06-11" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss can't promote Asok because the other managers don't know him.", "date": "2013-06-12" }, { "synopsis": "A vendor's software stops working after a week because it isn't compatible with the new version of Windows.", "date": "2013-06-13" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert exercises in his cubicle, so he can stay in good health for his forty years of soul-crushing work.", "date": "2013-06-14" }, { "synopsis": "All Dilbert did was rearrange bits of the Internet. He had no impact on the physical world.", "date": "2013-06-15" }, { "synopsis": "An interviewee says Dilbert should hope he's lying at his interview because misleading people is a valuable skill.", "date": "2013-06-16" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert proves their reality is a computer program created by aliens.", "date": "2013-06-17" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says too many smart people in a group lowers productivity.", "date": "2013-06-18" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert has so many projects that he's doomed to failure. Either he misses deadlines or reduces quality.", "date": "2013-06-19" }, { "synopsis": "Company policy says the Boss must rate Asok and Tina as \"does not meet expectations.\"", "date": "2013-06-20" }, { "synopsis": "Wally is late with his assignment. Wally says it doesn't matter as long as one other person is late as well.", "date": "2013-06-21" }, { "synopsis": "Wally can't help because he's in the middle of defragging his disc drive. After that, he's compiling code for hours.", "date": "2013-06-22" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says Carol can't let anyone see him or she's fired. The CEO comes along and tells her he need to see the Boss or she's fired.", "date": "2013-06-23" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Dilbert to mail him the paper copy with the original signature.", "date": "2013-06-24" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss lowers Dilbert's time estimate from two years down to one so the company could win the bid.", "date": "2013-06-25" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's work has no meaning. He asks the Boss to fix that before he becomes disloyal.", "date": "2013-06-26" }, { "synopsis": "Wally says you can identify a natural leader by the way he says the word \"gullible.\" The Boss starts shouting the word.", "date": "2013-06-27" }, { "synopsis": "Alan has been out of work for a long time. But he says it's ok because you always know how.", "date": "2013-06-28" }, { "synopsis": "Alan has been out of the workforce for a long time. He asks for a binder of company policies.", "date": "2013-06-29" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss is reading a book about rules of leadership. Dilbert says there are many books, each with a different approach.", "date": "2013-06-30" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert would feel more loyal if the company acknowledged his contributions.", "date": "2013-07-01" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for the Boss's input on a complicated issue. The Boss wants Dilbert to run it by someone else.", "date": "2013-07-02" }, { "synopsis": "The media says the CEO is overpaid compared to other CEOs. The CEO asks Catbert to do a benchmark study comparing his salary to Larry Ellison.", "date": "2013-07-03" }, { "synopsis": "In 2018, Dilbert dates with virtual reality. His date says his cyborg tech is hot but his organic bits are not.", "date": "2013-07-04" }, { "synopsis": "Wally migrated their northern data centre to the cloud, then the cloud stopped working.", "date": "2013-07-05" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says tomorrow will be a planned power outage but everyone must come to work and sit at their desks.", "date": "2013-07-06" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert must review a sixty-page contract renewal, compare it to the original and get buy-in from 17 managers who hate the Boss.", "date": "2013-07-07" }, { "synopsis": "Wally wants to know what he can do while the power is out.", "date": "2013-07-08" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss offers Dilbert a two percent raise. Dilbert says he will lower the quality of his work until that feels fair.", "date": "2013-07-09" }, { "synopsis": "Wally has two jobs and outsources them to Elbonia. Wally denies this to the Boss.", "date": "2013-07-10" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss introduces the \"Eureka Program\" to recognise the best ideas from the employees.", "date": "2013-07-11" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker complains to Wally he attends meetings but never adds value. Wally says he's more of a big idea guy.", "date": "2013-07-12" }, { "synopsis": "An executive retreat takes three days to come up with a policy name with the acronym P.O.O.P.", "date": "2013-07-13" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to get a website unblocked but can't make it through the bureaucracy to do it.", "date": "2013-07-14" }, { "synopsis": "Wally's business cars has a missing digit on his phone number and a missing @ symbol on his email address.", "date": "2013-07-15" }, { "synopsis": "Wally works best under pressure so waits until the deadline to come up before doing work. Unless something important comes up.", "date": "2013-07-16" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks the CEO to be his mentor. The CEO doesn't want anyone to understand his job.", "date": "2013-07-17" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss complains to Dogbert the trucks for the Dogbert Offsite Document Storage Service look like garbage trucks.", "date": "2013-07-18" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells the CEO the offsite document storage costs are out of control.", "date": "2013-07-19" }, { "synopsis": "Wally and his mentor do everything the same.", "date": "2013-07-20" }, { "synopsis": "A woman tells Dilbert she is self-sufficient in her life and doesn't need anyone else.", "date": "2013-07-21" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert invents a digital currency called the Bertcoin. He soon will control all the money in the world.", "date": "2013-07-22" }, { "synopsis": "Ratbert mines Bertcoins but loses them to a Somali pirate.", "date": "2013-07-23" }, { "synopsis": "Carol says to ignore the revisions she sent because the Boss revised them again.", "date": "2013-07-24" }, { "synopsis": "Wally is the first employee to fail the ethics course. He says the answers are subjective and there are no right answers.", "date": "2013-07-25" }, { "synopsis": "Wally fails the online ethics course again so he's put on the management fast track.", "date": "2013-07-26" }, { "synopsis": "Wally's brain scan shows he has management potential. There's coffee filling the ethics part of his brain.", "date": "2013-07-27" }, { "synopsis": "Wally was empowered and gave himself permission to attend week-long training.", "date": "2013-07-28" }, { "synopsis": "Wally gets tested for the management fast track. To punch a weasel, and catch a bag of money and a baby.", "date": "2013-07-29" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO mentors Wally until Wally's intestines end up in his skull.", "date": "2013-07-30" }, { "synopsis": "Wally is asked to attend a meeting. He says he'll teleconference.", "date": "2013-07-31" }, { "synopsis": "An employee survey says 98% of staff had no confidence in management, so management makes sure they'll never get a low score again.", "date": "2013-08-01" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss hasn't responded to Dilbert's email, text message, voice mail or note.", "date": "2013-08-02" }, { "synopsis": "As the workspace downsized, engineer's productivity went down. So management will try more of the same.", "date": "2013-08-03" }, { "synopsis": "The conference call went better than Dilbert expected. Setting up collaboration tools, a disagreement over goals, and bad acoustics were just minor problems.", "date": "2013-08-04" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks the engineers not to ask any questions during the CEO's visit. And don't stare at him, either.", "date": "2013-08-05" }, { "synopsis": "Wally is not married but his wifi meets all his social and intellectual needs.", "date": "2013-08-06" }, { "synopsis": "Wally says his mother put a warm thermos of coffee in his crib then went out for the day.", "date": "2013-08-07" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says the CEO has a vague new strategy and says the engineers won't care about it.", "date": "2013-08-08" }, { "synopsis": "Instead of firing Ted, the Boss sends him to the banishment room, following the Japanese practice of hoping Ted will be so bored he will quit.", "date": "2013-08-09" }, { "synopsis": "An aggressive recruiter is looking for passive job seekers, so talks with Wally. Wally falls asleep in front of him.", "date": "2013-08-10" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss to approve a software purchase. The Boss asks for a legal review first. The lawyer wants to know if it's an open source license.", "date": "2013-08-11" }, { "synopsis": "Two job recruiters fight over Wally. One ties Wally to his chair until he wakes up.", "date": "2013-08-12" }, { "synopsis": "The government wants access to the company's records to look for terrorists. The Boss gives them everything.", "date": "2013-08-13" }, { "synopsis": "The government wants to look at the Boss's colonoscopy to check for terrorists. That feels like a violation of privacy.", "date": "2013-08-14" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert wears a biosensor so the company can monitor his health.", "date": "2013-08-15" }, { "synopsis": "Wally gets booted off the executive fast track. He failed their sociopath module.", "date": "2013-08-16" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss considers Carol to be family. She is offended by who she is lumped in with.", "date": "2013-08-17" }, { "synopsis": "Phil reviews Wally's accomplishments for the quarter. Phil says they really don't mean anything as Wally is just in the right place at the right time.", "date": "2013-08-18" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Dogbert to motivate him for the day. Dogbert says it's a cold, uncaring universe.", "date": "2013-08-19" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss to increase Dilbert's motivation. Even an insincere attaboy would be good.", "date": "2013-08-20" }, { "synopsis": "Wally practices his urgent-looking walk. This is to appear like he's working on important stuff and can't waste five seconds.", "date": "2013-08-21" }, { "synopsis": "Wally is nominated for an Academy Award for portraying an employee who does actual work.", "date": "2013-08-22" }, { "synopsis": "Wally dresses for the job he wants, not the job he has. The Boss is offended Wally is naked.", "date": "2013-08-23" }, { "synopsis": "Mordac is de-motivated when he learns his job will be outsourced or distributed among different organisations.", "date": "2013-08-24" }, { "synopsis": "Wally presents a disaster-preparedness plan with plans for famine, alien invasion, and Earth colliding with an asteroid. The Boss is not impressed.", "date": "2013-08-25" }, { "synopsis": "The new guy calls in sick on his first day because he has trouble getting dressed.", "date": "2013-08-26" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss has a black eye because he accidentally punches himself while pulling up his blanket in bed.", "date": "2013-08-27" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss doesn't want to give his opinion so as not not influence Dilbert's recommendation. Dilbert says he's not influenced by the Boss anyway.", "date": "2013-08-28" }, { "synopsis": "A robot delivers coffee to Wally and describes how it killed a man who tried to take the last cup.", "date": "2013-08-29" }, { "synopsis": "The robot complains to the Boss about his trivial assignments.", "date": "2013-08-30" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss needs a budget estimate for the project. Dilbert shouts numbers until the Boss thinks one sounds reasonable.", "date": "2013-08-31" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert meets a guy he's been avoiding for six months, even though the guy has been trying to contact Dilbert.", "date": "2013-09-01" }, { "synopsis": "Asok puts in budget estimates like the Boss requested. It makes a shrub sprout from his iPad.", "date": "2013-09-02" }, { "synopsis": "Alice erupts when she is constantly interrupted.", "date": "2013-09-03" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert says big companies say they no longer hire people with prestigious degrees. That's just a ploy to get smaller companies to hire idiots.", "date": "2013-09-04" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss ignores an applicant's resume. Instead he looks up the candidate's history on the Internet.", "date": "2013-09-05" }, { "synopsis": "All of the company's data and backups are lost, so Dilbert steals it from the government's secret database.", "date": "2013-09-06" }, { "synopsis": "Government operatives visit Dilbert to discuss his stealing of sensitive information.", "date": "2013-09-07" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert gets a five percent raise if he finishes his project in a year. Dilbert will gladly give that up to avoid doubling his workload.", "date": "2013-09-08" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert has been arrested for stealing data the government stole from them.", "date": "2013-09-09" }, { "synopsis": "Government operatives waterboard Dilbert. Dilbert starts to enjoy it.", "date": "2013-09-10" }, { "synopsis": "Government operatives put Dilbert into solitary to make him tell how he stole government data.", "date": "2013-09-11" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert goes to the Elbonian embassy. It consists of the ambassador, a card table and two chairs.", "date": "2013-09-12" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert seeks asylum in an Elbonian embassy. There is not much technology there.", "date": "2013-09-13" }, { "synopsis": "Government operatives visit Dilbert's Mom, and ask her to talk Dilbert into leaving the Elbonian embassy so he can be executed for treason.", "date": "2013-09-14" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says no product changes with out change orders. The change order forms aren't available and it would require a change order to make them available.", "date": "2013-09-15" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert returns from being on the run, after changing government databases and deleting the case against him.", "date": "2013-09-16" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert becomes a professional liar, to provide alibis, references, etc", "note": "Scott Adams appears in a monitor, drawing Dogbert.", "date": "2013-09-17" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert shows how successful companies innovate: replace dimwitted employees with smart ones, then fire the managers.", "date": "2013-09-18" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's innovations happen all in his head. Not much gets out, though.", "date": "2013-09-19" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert why he's taking so long on the project. Dilbert says the data model is complex and there was no integration testing.", "date": "2013-09-20" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss for his opinion on code consistency versus best practices for legacy systems.", "date": "2013-09-21" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert is in a panic about his presentation tomorrow. He and Wally imagine the worst that could go wrong.", "date": "2013-09-22" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO says the corporate structure is so complicated he has no idea where their money comes from.", "date": "2013-09-23" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO hires Dogbert to be an executive coach. He asks Dogbert to not ask him to do anything differently.", "date": "2013-09-24" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert coaches the CEO, and says CEO's are more likely to be psychopaths.", "date": "2013-09-25" }, { "synopsis": "Even though Dilbert shows her a scientific study, Alice doesn't care and still think she's right.", "date": "2013-09-26" }, { "synopsis": "A woman is drawn to guys who treat her poorly, so Dilbert calls her crazy.", "date": "2013-09-27" }, { "synopsis": "With optogenetic technology, an evil genius from marketing changes Asok's preferences.", "date": "2013-09-28" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to buy something from a store but they don't have it in stock. So he buys it online instead.", "date": "2013-09-29" }, { "synopsis": "Asok's preferences were tweaked by marketing. Some of them, like being a gay anarchist, are a big adjustment.", "date": "2013-09-30" }, { "synopsis": "Wally is lazy and undependable so can't get a raise this year.", "date": "2013-10-01" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO wants to build a hyperloop to connect major cities with fast transportation. He'll leave the details to the engineers.", "date": "2013-10-02" }, { "synopsis": "Wally spent more than half his time in meetings this quarter. It's a waste of time according to the Boss.", "date": "2013-10-03" }, { "synopsis": "Their products are getting worse every day. But good marketing makes up for that, the Boss tells the CEO.", "date": "2013-10-04" }, { "synopsis": "Promote from within, the Boss says. Then fill the empty positions from within.", "date": "2013-10-05" }, { "synopsis": "Alice suggests peer coaching to Dilbert. Dilbert thinks Alice's problems are caused by her being herself.", "date": "2013-10-06" }, { "synopsis": "Wally pretends to be a headhunter to the Boss in order to get a better performance review.", "date": "2013-10-07" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a salesman for a discount. The salesman wants to hit Dilbert with a chair and then run away.", "date": "2013-10-08" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks for solutions, not complaints. Dilbert wants to abolish the layer of management that does nothing but demand solutions.", "date": "2013-10-09" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's energy is drained from his body by being too close to someone else.", "date": "2013-10-10" }, { "synopsis": "Even though Dilbert's energy is drained when he's too close to someone, it never happens when Dilbert talks to Wally.", "date": "2013-10-11" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert shows his latest invention to Dogbert. Dogbert says it's been done before and uses Google search to prove it.", "date": "2013-10-12" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO tries to acknowledge the achievements of his underlings, and starts with the Boss. The Boss has trouble coming up with one.", "date": "2013-10-13" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert can't find something to invent that doesn't already exist. His Mom thinks it's because everyone is connected by morphic fields.", "date": "2013-10-14" }, { "synopsis": "It used to be accepted that people became experts after 10,000 hours of practice. But Wally will be good after a million hours.", "date": "2013-10-15" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert advises the CEO he can't focus on both career and family. He must choose one.", "date": "2013-10-16" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss criticises Dilbert for not doing has he was told. Dilbert responds by saying the Boss is under-informed and less clever.", "date": "2013-10-17" }, { "synopsis": "Alice is working on a new facial expression to scare away the weak. She tries it out on Dilbert although he didn't want to see it.", "date": "2013-10-18" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's project is taking longer than the Boss expects. Dilbert says it's only taking longer than dumb people expect.", "date": "2013-10-19" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert meets a social media consultant, and says he likes her. She says a single like is an insult so Dilbert brings in an Elbonian to artificially increase her like count.", "date": "2013-10-20" }, { "synopsis": "Two trolls create the company's annual budget.", "date": "2013-10-21" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert announces unlimited vacation days. However, taking any time off will torpedo careers.", "date": "2013-10-22" }, { "synopsis": "Wally tells the Boss he will be taking advantage of the unlimited vacation policy. He'll be gone for 200 days in the next year. But his productivity will double.", "date": "2013-10-23" }, { "synopsis": "The robot announces he is here to take the engineers' jobs. Not really, though. He won't have that capability for 2 or 3 years.", "date": "2013-10-24" }, { "synopsis": "The robot's chair is squeaky and asks Alice to help fix that. She scares him.", "date": "2013-10-25" }, { "synopsis": "Alice says someday humans will have the know-how to create entire universes. The Boss wonders where they'll put them.", "date": "2013-10-26" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss recognises Ted for writing his part of the code in only 2 days. It was hard to do and should have taken a week.", "date": "2013-10-27" }, { "synopsis": "Employees will work harder if their managers care about them. But the Boss doesn't care about Wally.", "date": "2013-10-28" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says he must set clear expectations and revise them periodically. The engineers say the Boss understands the initial expectations to be faulty.", "date": "2013-10-29" }, { "synopsis": "A desiccated crone teaches etiquette to the engineers. She starts with how to eat.", "note": "An alternative third panel containing offensive language is available on the Dilbert Blog.", "date": "2013-10-30" }, { "synopsis": "A desiccated crone continues with dining etiquette. The napkin goes in the lap. Dilbert uses his as a handkerchief.", "date": "2013-10-31" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss opens the floor for brainstorming ideas. Dilbert suggests they ignore all studies that say brainstorming doesn't work.", "date": "2013-11-01" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says Tina didn't write up the best ideas from the brainstorming session.", "date": "2013-11-02" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO says they can only succeed when they treat each other with respect. Then he gets upset because he thinks Dilbert is recording him.", "date": "2013-11-03" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert complains his good cables are stolen from the lab and are replaced with defective ones. He has to waste hours stealing them back.", "date": "2013-11-04" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Alice who constantly keeps taking his good cables from the lab and replacing them with defective ones.", "date": "2013-11-05" }, { "synopsis": "Alice tries to shut down Skype on her desktop.", "date": "2013-11-06" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss why he has to carry a company phone plus his own phone. Maybe because company policy was written by time-traveling chimps from the fifties.", "date": "2013-11-07" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss thanks himself for providing great leadership on the project. The others did OK too, but only because he threatened to fire them.", "date": "2013-11-08" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert says he doesn't like his tasks at work, nor the people, or the commute, the money is not good enough, plus he's not improving the world.", "date": "2013-11-09" }, { "synopsis": "A vendor says his device is 100% compatible with Dilbert's system even though he doesn't know which system it is.", "date": "2013-11-10" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert shows off a new biometric sensor on the company's new smartphone prototype.", "date": "2013-11-11" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says anyone whose phone rings during this meeting will be fired immediately. Then his own phone rings.", "date": "2013-11-12" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss works while listening to Dilbert because he's good at multitasking.", "date": "2013-11-13" }, { "synopsis": "The company's new strategy is to lower their prices to increase sales. This will cut their profit margin to zero by starting a price war, Dilbert says.", "date": "2013-11-14" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss sees himself as a Steve Jobs.", "date": "2013-11-15" }, { "synopsis": "Wally convinces the Boss to wear a helmet by saying their competitors developed technology for reading brain waves at a distance.", "date": "2013-11-16" }, { "synopsis": "Wally has something the experts call \"sitting disease\" and plans to walk around and drink coffee to combat it.", "date": "2013-11-17" }, { "synopsis": "Alice thanks a man for being flexible in negotiations. He's a good sport, or good loser, or just a loser.", "date": "2013-11-18" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tells a woman he's an engineer so has excellent employment potential and can fix things around the house. She wants to know about his social skills.", "date": "2013-11-19" }, { "synopsis": "Wally says the Boss's job is to match employees with the right assignments. Wally's projects failed which means the Boss did a terrible job.", "date": "2013-11-20" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert has no creativity because the Boss's management style drains all his energy to stay out of trouble.", "date": "2013-11-21" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO thanks the engineers for their project updates. He didn't understand any of their technical talk, but that didn't matter.", "date": "2013-11-22" }, { "synopsis": "A great leader hires good people and gives them freedom to do their jobs. However, the Boss doesn't have the budget to hire good people, so he has to micromanage the half-wits that he can afford.", "date": "2013-11-23" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss drinks coffee with Wally and Dilbert and says wise things about business. The only reason to have meetings is to make decisions, he says.", "date": "2013-11-24" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert offers to sell the rights to use Linux for one million dollars, then pay for every upgrade.", "date": "2013-11-25" }, { "synopsis": "Wally tells the Boss lazy people are the best because they find shortcuts. Wally, however, is useless, not lazy.", "date": "2013-11-26" }, { "synopsis": "The company's Christmas party will be in January because December is too busy.", "date": "2013-11-27" }, { "synopsis": "A government man tells Wally they've been monitoring his Internet activity. Half his department went blind from it.", "date": "2013-11-28" }, { "synopsis": "The government uses Wally's browser history as a firewall against Elbonian hackers. Anyone who looks at it will become blind and crazy.", "date": "2013-11-29" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants thought diversity, so looks for that in his hiring. Alice says he'll end up with people who can't agree.", "date": "2013-11-30" }, { "synopsis": "The winner of the CEO's Technology Challenge is Wally, who suggests bringing water to Elbonia in a box. Wally's was the only entry.", "date": "2013-12-01" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells Catbert he hired people with different perspectives to benefit from thought diversity. However they all disagree with everything the Boss says so they must be idiots.", "date": "2013-12-02" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says it takes money to make money. Dilbert wants to know where the first money came from.", "date": "2013-12-03" }, { "synopsis": "Alice tells Wally her weekend consisted of being wrapped in a blanket and lying on the couch watching bad TV shows until she smelled really bad.", "date": "2013-12-04" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice to not use Facebook at work. She says fine, she'll do it in the evening instead of doing three hours of unpaid work.", "date": "2013-12-05" }, { "synopsis": "Wally wants to spend time on Facebook at work but doesn't have any friends. He asks if he can friend Dilbert.", "date": "2013-12-06" }, { "synopsis": "Carol complains the Boss presses the public address button on his phone while making calls. She's not sure if he's talking to his doctor or really bad at talking dirty to his wife.", "date": "2013-12-07" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert offers advice on the habits of famous leaders. Work sixteen hours a day, reading in their spare time, and eating cake.", "date": "2013-12-08" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO meets Asok randomly. Asok offers his hand to shake, but the CEO only touches people who own boats.", "date": "2013-12-09" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tells the other engineers he is vetting his idea with them. He stipulates that all engineers hate ideas that are not their own.", "date": "2013-12-10" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks if Dilbert ran his idea past his peers. Dilbert replies they hated it, but they also say the Boss is incompetent and annoying, so how could they trust their opinions?", "date": "2013-12-11" }, { "synopsis": "Wally says the company needs infinite people just like the Boss, preferably all with typewriters.", "date": "2013-12-12" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO asks for suggestions on how to foster a culture of innovation. Dilbert suggests giving less work and stop critisising every idea they've ever had.", "date": "2013-12-13" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says he'll fight for Alice when the managers meet to talk about promotions. Alice is horrified her promotion prospects depend on the Boss and not her.", "date": "2013-12-14" }, { "synopsis": "Wally tries out a new fragrance, part pepper spray and part gym socks. It's to drive off possible romantic applicants.", "date": "2013-12-15" }, { "synopsis": "If they raise forty thousand dollars for charity, the Boss will shave his head. Wally responds if they raise no money at all, he will shave his head.", "date": "2013-12-16" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert gets an incomprehensible note from the Boss, so he \"flermmed the plootash.", "date": "2013-12-17" }, { "synopsis": "Ted has a picture of his kids on his desk even though personal items are not allowed.", "date": "2013-12-18" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert finds a story on the Internet about the CEO's fabulous lifestyle. Yacht, penthouse in New York, estate, art, it's all there.", "date": "2013-12-19" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to get a committee to agree with his plan. They don't want to.", "date": "2013-12-20" }, { "synopsis": "The engineers try to get Alice to work less, so they won't look bad by comparison.", "date": "2013-12-21" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss sends a drone to do his hardest task: management by walking around. Now he doesn't have to walk around.", "date": "2013-12-22" }, { "synopsis": "Asok surrounds himself with people who are positive influences. He starts with Alice.", "date": "2013-12-23" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss attributes Dilbert's problems to his lack of creativity.", "date": "2013-12-24" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert gives Dilbert a box containing a cat that is neither dead nor alive.", "date": "2013-12-25" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO says the key to success is knowing what you do. The engineers acknowledge that and all quit.", "date": "2013-12-26" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss hired an engineer from Google who has now evolved into a form of pure energy. He's a bit arrogant.", "date": "2013-12-27" }, { "synopsis": "The engineer at Google who is now pure energy is sucked dry by Wally's apathy.", "date": "2013-12-28" }, { "synopsis": "Carol doesn't like to talk with Alice because she turns every statement into a negative. Alice likes to be perceived as a monster.", "date": "2013-12-29" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO tells the Boss they must be willing to kill or cannibalise their best businesses. The Boss says he's been killing their best businesses for years.", "date": "2013-12-30" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert teaches the Boss some practices of companies with nothing in common to his. They'll fit like a foot in a glove.", "date": "2013-12-31" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert News Network says people continue to act like idiots. Things don't turn out well.", "date": "2014-01-01" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert should format his presentation like a hero's journey, the Boss says. So Dilbert compares the Boss to a pointy-haired monster.", "date": "2014-01-02" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss criticises the behaviour, not the person. Carol sent an email that looks like it was written by a monkey on crack.", "date": "2014-01-03" }, { "synopsis": "Alice brings muffins so she won't need to watch her weight. She'll still look good even if she gains a few pounds.", "date": "2014-01-04" }, { "synopsis": "Asok's new philosophy is live for today. Wally says it's important to plan for tomorrow to avoid starving.", "date": "2014-01-05" }, { "synopsis": "Ted is moved to a new strategic engineering group. Ted believes it's because all the worst employees are being put into one group so the company can later eliminate that group.", "date": "2014-01-06" }, { "synopsis": "An iron sculpture fell on a security guard and the CEO made a bad joke.", "date": "2014-01-07" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss thinks caring for Wally's emotional well being to increase his engagement. So he gives Ratbert to Wally.", "date": "2014-01-08" }, { "synopsis": "Wally carries Ratbert on his shoulder to boost oxytocin levels without a relationship. Ratbert thought they were in love.", "date": "2014-01-09" }, { "synopsis": "Wally carries Ratbert on his shoulder to boost oxytocin levels without the need for human contact. Alice has had chipmunks living in her hair for a long time.", "date": "2014-01-10" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO practices self-deprecating jokes in front of Dilbert. He is glad Dilbert is around to do unimportant tasks.", "date": "2014-01-11" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert convinces the Boss to fund an idea the Boss had for customer support software, even though it delays other projects.", "date": "2014-01-12" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants employees who are motivated by the company vision, not by money. Catbert says they are hard to find.", "date": "2014-01-13" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tests a new fuel source for the office robot. It's organic waste and is embarrassing to collect.", "date": "2014-01-14" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO wants to be more visionary than Elon Musk. He wants a spaceship full of robots to colonise other worlds.", "date": "2014-01-15" }, { "synopsis": "Alice can't do budget projections until the Boss tells her what his priorities for the coming year.", "date": "2014-01-16" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to get a product patch. Dilbert already has, and has applied it in production.", "date": "2014-01-17" }, { "synopsis": "Wally is mentally weak, has no ambition, but is the happiest person in the room.", "date": "2014-01-18" }, { "synopsis": "The company's product name is an insult in the Elbonian language, so the Boss hires an Elbonian to review some new choices.", "date": "2014-01-19" }, { "synopsis": "Asok greets the Boss joyfully and says his happiness is due to the Boss's motivations.", "date": "2014-01-20" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells Wally the key to career success is finding your special gift. Wally's gift is doing nothing but babbling jargon.", "date": "2014-01-21" }, { "synopsis": "A coworker didn't get Dilbert the data he requested because he didn't know how Dilbert wanted it formatted. But he didn't ask.", "date": "2014-01-22" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO tells the engineers to follow their instincts. So Alice slaps him silly.", "date": "2014-01-23" }, { "synopsis": "Alice slapped the CEO senseless after he said to follow her instincts. She was also being passionate, engaged and creative.", "date": "2014-01-24" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss adds Jeff to Alice's project team. She doesn't want him.", "date": "2014-01-25" }, { "synopsis": "The latest management fad is to engage employees and follow from the front. Catbert and the Boss don't understand what that means.", "date": "2014-01-26" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert says only top performers leave for higher pay. Since Dilbert is still here, he must be average at best.", "date": "2014-01-27" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's new project is a fleet of small drones for package delivery. The company calls their customers \"infidels.\"", "date": "2014-01-28" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tells the CEO their customer for the fleet of drones is an international terrorist. The company will have to cancel the order and take a loss.", "date": "2014-01-29" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert is being too negative, according to the Boss. Or maybe he's a good communicator surrounded by terrible ideas.", "date": "2014-01-30" }, { "synopsis": "A coworker can't tell if Wally is being passive-aggressive or incompetent. Wally wants to know which means less work for him.", "date": "2014-01-31" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss gets the robot to mentor the new hire because all the engineers are dysfunctional.", "date": "2014-02-01" }, { "synopsis": "The Jeff Bezos rule of meetings says meetings shouldn't be so large you can't feed everyone with two pizzas.", "date": "2014-02-02" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss learns willpower is finite. So he asks Dilbert to use it all for work and have a cake for lunch.", "date": "2014-02-03" }, { "synopsis": "An overweight Dilbert tells the Boss he's saving all his willpower for work. However, his condition means a twenty year reduction in life expectancy.", "date": "2014-02-04" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert loses sixty pounds in a day by watching the Insanity workout video.", "date": "2014-02-05" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert introduces a new employee to Alice. Alice is angry when she's stressed out and she's always stressed out.", "date": "2014-02-06" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert says India has made it illegal to be gay. Asok is now officially gay.", "date": "2014-02-07" }, { "synopsis": "Asok can't return to India because it is illegal to be gay there.", "date": "2014-02-08" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Alice how to set up temporary credentials in their web services. Alice makes fun of him for not knowing already.", "date": "2014-02-09" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for more responsibility. The Boss says that's not a good time because he has finished Dilbert's annual review and it says the opposite.", "date": "2014-02-10" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks the engineers what they would do if a shadowy figure offers to buy company secrets. The engineers want to know how much he is offering.", "date": "2014-02-11" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO asks Dilbert and Wally if they want to see some leadership. Then he tells them all he will do, although doesn't actually do any of it.", "date": "2014-02-12" }, { "synopsis": "Leadership is setting vague goals with a combination of jargon and wishful thinking. The Boss can then dump work on engineers without them saying it doesn't fit within their goals.", "date": "2014-02-13" }, { "synopsis": "Alice requests a workshop on how to deal with difficult coworkers. She knows others will use tactics against her and wants to know how to thwart those tactics.", "date": "2014-02-14" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert shows how to deal with difficult coworkers. Always kill jerks in ways that are untraceable.", "date": "2014-02-15" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss helps Dilbert add pictures to his presentation, an eagle to capture the status of his project and a pie chart to show the technology strategy.", "date": "2014-02-16" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss gets up at 4 AM because successful people do. He then takes a power nap in the hallway.", "date": "2014-02-17" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss is trying to get by on five hours of sleep per night. Carol says that lowers functional intelligence.", "date": "2014-02-18" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert says cryonics will allow him to preserve his brain until the point where he can live forever in a robot body. He doesn't want to, though.", "date": "2014-02-19" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to make sure he does not live forever in a robot body. So he asks Dogbert to make sure he's dead before that happens.", "date": "2014-02-20" }, { "synopsis": "Wally's secret to a rewarding work-life balance. He has no life so keeps it balanced by doing no work.", "date": "2014-02-21" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss shows up to the office in disguise, pretending to be a new employee. Alice is discussing ways to kill the Boss.", "date": "2014-02-22" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the presentation attendees if there are objections to his plan. One employee says there is a non-zero chance of problems so it shouldn't be done. The employee realises he is an idiot.", "date": "2014-02-23" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss appears in the office in disguise. He talks with Carol who says she put spider eggs in her Boss's coffee.", "date": "2014-02-24" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO sets a goal to ship a million units this quarter. Dilbert asks if there are goals involving making their customers happy.", "date": "2014-02-25" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Ted to give a speech to ten thousand people at a conference. Ted gets stressed.", "date": "2014-02-26" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert accomplished all the goals the Boss set for him. But he didn't accomplish any secret goals.", "date": "2014-02-27" }, { "synopsis": "Wally's goals for the year were to drink lots of coffee and disrespect authority.", "date": "2014-02-28" }, { "synopsis": "Studies show offering customers too many options may prevent them from buying. The Boss says that's not a real thing.", "date": "2014-03-01" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants to judge Dilbert's ideas. Dilbert says that's like asking a chipmunk to judge algebra.", "date": "2014-03-02" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO eliminates all management levels and makes the Boss equal to the engineers.", "date": "2014-03-03" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells Catbert he has no idea what to do, now the company is organised as a holcracy.", "date": "2014-03-04" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss gets advice from Wally about how to look busy. Wally suggests walking into other cubicles uninvited and babbling about things others don't care about.", "date": "2014-03-05" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO wants to know how the flattened organisation is working out. The Boss reports fork attacks and insider trading are up.", "date": "2014-03-06" }, { "synopsis": "The experiment with a flattened organisation has failed, so the Boss is the boss again.", "date": "2014-03-07" }, { "synopsis": "Their A-B tests show more people click if the buttons are orange rather than green. Dilbert loses faith in human intelligence.", "date": "2014-03-08" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss sets Dilbert and impossible task then tries to step out of the way to let Dilbert succeed. That's what all great leaders do.", "date": "2014-03-09" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's stress is down since he realised all humans are irrational.", "date": "2014-03-10" }, { "synopsis": "Wally stops telecommuting because it's too exhausting.", "date": "2014-03-11" }, { "synopsis": "Topper compares Dilbert's phone with a tiny screen to his enormous one.", "date": "2014-03-12" }, { "synopsis": "An SEO expert determines what brings people to their site. Most effective are wingless skunk, junkyard snack and planned injury.", "date": "2014-03-13" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss needs to send a text to Paul. Wally suggests using all caps because Paul uses a hearing aid.", "date": "2014-03-14" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert uses A-B testing to manipulate humans. He gets excited about the control.", "date": "2014-03-15" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants Dilbert to create a clever video about their product and make sure it goes viral. Dilbert says no one can predict what goes viral.", "date": "2014-03-16" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert will brainwash the engineers into thinking company profits are more important than employee health. It's called employee engagement.", "date": "2014-03-17" }, { "synopsis": "Alice tells the Boss she was talking with some idiots who agree with the Boss on every topic.", "date": "2014-03-18" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss gets reports that Dilbert is being cynical. Dilbert says it's just an accurate worldview.", "date": "2014-03-19" }, { "synopsis": "Managers should hire great people and give them clear expectations. The Boss admits he got the first part wrong and doesn't know what to do about the second part.", "date": "2014-03-20" }, { "synopsis": "Wally wants to work at home a few days per week. The Boss is suspicious Wally's hours will go down.", "date": "2014-03-21" }, { "synopsis": "Alice gets the Boss nervous at her performance review by stating she will resign at the slightest criticism.", "date": "2014-03-22" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says you can't compare apples and oranges. The engineers dispute that because they are both food that grows on trees.", "date": "2014-03-23" }, { "synopsis": "Plantkiller tells Dilbert and Asok about the time he saw a potato. Asok calls him the world's worst conversationalist.", "date": "2014-03-24" }, { "synopsis": "Alice asks Plantkiller for some data. He's called that because his boring stories kill all office plants within earshot.", "date": "2014-03-25" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss introduces a consultant from the firm \"Booze Muhkidney\". He subsists on travel, loneliness and sleep deprivation.", "date": "2014-03-26" }, { "synopsis": "The consultant from \"Booze Muhkidney\" just travels, works and eats unhealthy food. He can't manage his own life but people hire him for business advice.", "date": "2014-03-27" }, { "synopsis": "The consultant from \"Booze Muhkidney\" hasn't slept since October, and thinks he's flat-lining.", "date": "2014-03-28" }, { "synopsis": "Alice's work saved the company a billion dollars. But she can't get a raise because she once had a personal item on her desk.", "date": "2014-03-29" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says ignore people who say it can't be done. Always trust your gut. So Dilbert leaves to get a sandwich.", "date": "2014-03-30" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants to know how he can help operationalise the company's strategy. Dilbert asks him to stop acting like a puppet that ate a dictionary.", "date": "2014-03-31" }, { "synopsis": "The universe is fill of strangeness and hidden dimensions so the Boss will never really know whether Wally completed his assignment.", "date": "2014-04-01" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert starts an online marketplace for dumb criminals. When he has enough users he will steal all their bitcoins.", "date": "2014-04-02" }, { "synopsis": "Alice says nothing is going right for her today. The Boss wishes he could have avoided her when she complains of problems.", "date": "2014-04-03" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss feels as if all employees are complaining a lot today. Carol then compares the place to a skunk opera, and the Boss does not understand her analogy.", "date": "2014-04-04" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert believes he can increase his alpha dominance by using lots of space in the room. Topper then inflates his body like a puffer fish.", "date": "2014-04-05" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says their new product isn't selling well. The engineers say it's overpriced and buggy, not as good as their competitor's product, advertisements are misleading and racist and the product name reminds people of bodily fluids and death.", "date": "2014-04-06" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert to feel more passion for his job. Dilbert responds by yelling at the Boss to stop interrupting his work with management jargon.", "date": "2014-04-07" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss announces the CEO has been injured when a trunk full of Rolex watches fell on him. Asok quips that time flies when you're having funds.", "date": "2014-04-08" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert tells the Boss that he is now acting CEO until the regular CEO recovers from his Rolex accident. The Boss lets power go to his head.", "date": "2014-04-09" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells Carol he is now temporary CEO and he is going to a C-level suite. He's also taking someone with him and Carol thinks it's her.", "date": "2014-04-10" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss, who is acting CEO, asks Catbert what he is supposed to do in the job. Catbert responds eighty percent of the job is back-slapping and firing people.", "date": "2014-04-11" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO confronts the Boss, who is acting-CEO, about his murdering employees, buying an unprofitable start-up, and embracing a new management fad. The CEO is jealous.", "date": "2014-04-12" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert complains to a psychologist no one \"likes\" any of his Facebook posts. She asks how many Facebook friends he has and if he's ever invited any of them to his house. Then she implants false memories in him.", "date": "2014-04-13" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert has a great idea. The Boss asks what kind of idea, a scoff-at kind, a steal kind, or the kind to double Dilbert's workload.", "date": "2014-04-14" }, { "synopsis": "E-mail is down again and the only guy who can fix it is in the hospital.", "date": "2014-04-15" }, { "synopsis": "At an interview, a candidate says his biggest accomplishment from his last job was to make some phone calls and stuff.", "date": "2014-04-16" }, { "synopsis": "At an interview, the Boss says he's only allowed to ask questions that have been approved by Human Resources. And they haven't approved any yet.", "date": "2014-04-17" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Tina to write a company origin story. All the cool companies have them.", "date": "2014-04-18" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says the best advice he received was to be true to yourself. Dilbert says that doesn't really mean anything. Wally wonders what the worst advice was.", "date": "2014-04-19" }, { "synopsis": "Tina says the engineers need to clean the refrigerator more often. There's mould in there that has become sentient.", "date": "2014-04-20" }, { "synopsis": "The travel budget is frozen so the company can meet its income estimates for the quarter. Dilbert wonders if that's because all business travel is a waste, or the company no longer cares about long-term profitability.", "date": "2014-04-21" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert wants an exception to the travel freeze so he can fix a customer's problem. The Boss says no because financial targets are more important than customers.", "date": "2014-04-22" }, { "synopsis": "Using people's names and giving insincere compliments will make Dilbert more likeable. It doesn't work on Wally.", "date": "2014-04-23" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert believes he can improve his likeability by showing he remembers things about people. For example, a co-worker goes to funerals dressed as a clown to keep things light.", "date": "2014-04-24" }, { "synopsis": "Randy introduces himself to Dilbert. Dilbert can't shake hands and memorise names at the same time.", "date": "2014-04-25" }, { "synopsis": "Randy introduces himself to Dilbert again. Dilbert doesn't remember the first time they met because he flushes unimportant information out of his mind.", "date": "2014-04-26" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Wally to write a new business strategy for the company, then allow the strategy to be stolen at a coffee shop over unsecured wi-fi.", "date": "2014-04-27" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to write a business plan for their new line of products even though business plans are usually not accurate or useful.", "date": "2014-04-28" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert created a business plan. Alice's feed back was that it was a lumbering monument to incompetence, dishonesty and corporate dysfunction.", "date": "2014-04-29" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to prepare PowerPoint slides for his investor meeting. Dilbert thinks it should amount to only one slide.", "date": "2014-04-30" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert prepared PowerPoint slides for the Boss. He dumbed down the technical stuff for the investors.", "date": "2014-05-01" }, { "synopsis": "Wally reports his project is coming along great. It's on time and under budget. The Boss doesn't believe him.", "date": "2014-05-02" }, { "synopsis": "In an interview, Dilbert asks the candidate why he left his last position as a publicist for a famous magician. He forgot to tell anyone the magician was doing a month-long trick.", "date": "2014-05-03" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks if anyone has a billion-dollar ideas. The engineers respond they'll keep those ideas for themselves and reveal the lame ones.", "date": "2014-05-04" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO asked everyone to give one percent of their work time to a charitable cause. Dilbert asks if that includes the 110% of the time the Boss had asked for last week.", "date": "2014-05-05" }, { "synopsis": "Wally reports last week, his charity work involved teaching unemployed people how to interview for jobs.", "date": "2014-05-06" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert if he's sure the data is correct. Dilbert responds he's been supplying incorrect data for years and this is the first time the Boss has asked.", "date": "2014-05-07" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss complains to Catbert interviews are awkward because no questions have been approved by HR yet. Catbert starts giggling.", "date": "2014-05-08" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO says employees who exercise are healthier. Wally responds those in poor health don't exercise.", "date": "2014-05-09" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks if Dilbert saw his email response to Dilbert's business plan. Dilbert wonders if it was rambling and disjointed and shows no understanding of the problem or solution.", "date": "2014-05-10" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss digs into Dilbert's record on the employee tracking system. Dilbert wanders around, has low levels of caffeine and his typos are way up.", "date": "2014-05-11" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss if he can take vacation next week. The Boss says sure, as long as Dilbert works twice as hard this week.", "date": "2014-05-12" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert says people can't focus because of digital distractions. Wally wasn't listening and Dilbert can't repeat it because he lost interest.", "date": "2014-05-13" }, { "synopsis": "Wally tells the Boss the digital age distractions have ruined his ability to have a conversation on a topic longer than five seconds.", "date": "2014-05-14" }, { "synopsis": "A woman at a party tries to guess why Dilbert is wearing a computer wristband and plugged in glasses.", "date": "2014-05-15" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Garbageman how much wearable tech he can wear before turning into a cyborg. The Garbageman says they're already just a software simulation.", "date": "2014-05-16" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says having a friend at work makes a person more engaged. That means he can cut their pay and they won't quit.", "date": "2014-05-17" }, { "synopsis": "Alice didn't answer Dilbert's IM, email, text, or phone calls, so he shows up in person.", "date": "2014-05-18" }, { "synopsis": "Phishing scams keep working because stupid people keep falling for them.", "date": "2014-05-19" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells Catbert he lost all his money to a phishing scam. Catbert tries in vain to control his laughter.", "date": "2014-05-20" }, { "synopsis": "Alice wrote a blog post to defend the Boss, where he didn't do any of the ten things every leader should do. And yet he still gets paid.", "date": "2014-05-21" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells a psychologist his subordinates aren't supportive. She suggests he might have troll DNA.", "date": "2014-05-22" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells the CEO they have a problem with early adopters of the wearable tech. The CEO wonders if no one wants to go first, but the Boss says it's not that. The engineers look like freaks.", "date": "2014-05-23" }, { "synopsis": "According to a customer survey, the most requested software feature is a flying car.", "date": "2014-05-24" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants employees who can say no to him. Wally says that's the dumbest thing he's ever heard.", "date": "2014-05-25" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss criticises Dilbert for not using his large-screen smartphone while walking from place to place. It's like stealing from the company.", "date": "2014-05-26" }, { "synopsis": "Used batteries are to be discarded in a special box in the break room. Then they'll be dumped into the regular trash in the landfill.", "date": "2014-05-27" }, { "synopsis": "Alice gets the nomination for the Good Attitude Award. She yells at the Boss for a giving out a useless award.", "date": "2014-05-28" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert missed all his goals and blamed it on poor management. He'll go into details when he does his review of management. So the Boss revises his appraisal to say Dilbert's doing great.", "date": "2014-05-29" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss injects Dilbert with performance enhancing drugs to make him more motivated and competitive.", "date": "2014-05-30" }, { "synopsis": "Alice is attracted to Dilbert, who has been injected with job performance enhancing drugs.", "date": "2014-05-31" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert did everything listed in the Boss's email about things successful people do. But Dilbert is still not successful. Dilbert says it was a waste of time.", "date": "2014-06-01" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss praises Dilbert's performance but can't give him a raise because Dilbert used job performance enhancing drugs.", "date": "2014-06-02" }, { "synopsis": "Wally banishes Dilbert's performance enhancing drugs, returning Dilbert to normal.", "date": "2014-06-03" }, { "synopsis": "The Robot says humans will only need to do creative jobs in the future, if the engineers work hard.", "date": "2014-06-04" }, { "synopsis": "The robot cuts off Topper's head when Topper tries to out-do the robot.", "date": "2014-06-05" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert complains to the Boss his job is like being buried alive in a burlap bag full of starving rats.", "date": "2014-06-06" }, { "synopsis": "Alan, a marketing guy says his job is to spray perfume on skunks. Dilbert says his job is to resist killing Alan.", "date": "2014-06-07" }, { "synopsis": "Alan brings his son to \"Bring your kid to the cesspool day,\" to show them how horrible it is to work there.", "date": "2014-06-08" }, { "synopsis": "The company announced huge losses but the stock went up because analysts thought it would be worse. Wally uses the same strategy on his performance review.", "date": "2014-06-09" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert says \"we don't know what we don't know.\" A co-worker claims he invented that saying.", "date": "2014-06-10" }, { "synopsis": "Winning at anything boosts your testosterone. The Boss asks one of the engineers to clean the mould out of the fridge.", "date": "2014-06-11" }, { "synopsis": "Abusive management has reduced Dilbert's testosterone levels. Alice attacks him for that.", "date": "2014-06-12" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss gives Dilbert some dark chocolate because studies show it makes you think better. Dilbert is surprised the Boss is actually making sense.", "date": "2014-06-13" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells Catbert he feels much better because he just ate three pounds of chocolate.", "date": "2014-06-14" }, { "synopsis": "Alice tells Dilbert optimists die younger, and optimism makes him look ignorant.", "date": "2014-06-15" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert the consultant recommends a company-wide transformation to make them more competitive, which will ensure Dogbert is well paid.", "date": "2014-06-16" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert resists change, the Boss says. Dilbert says he only resists terrible ideas.", "date": "2014-06-17" }, { "synopsis": "Jeff has to prove everyone wrong. It's like a reflex action and can't stop himself.", "date": "2014-06-18" }, { "synopsis": "A marketing guy wants Wally to sign a non-disclosure statement. Wally says it's not required because no one believes what he says anyway.", "date": "2014-06-19" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert was beaten up by strangers for wearing the company's new glasses product with a camera.", "date": "2014-06-20" }, { "synopsis": "Two men threaten Dilbert because he's wearing glasses with a camera. Dilbert responds by shooting flames out of the glasses.", "date": "2014-06-21" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to change his recommendation to the opposite of what he wrote and send it for approval. Dilbert doesn't think it's worth it.", "date": "2014-06-22" }, { "synopsis": "Wally says success depends on who you know. He only knows losers like Dilbert so is suffering for that.", "date": "2014-06-23" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks an interviewee what he does in his spare time. The candidate says he visits orphanages and gives back rubs to babies.", "date": "2014-06-24" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss's management style has created a black hole. It absorbs important emails from employees.", "date": "2014-06-25" }, { "synopsis": "The company officers came up with a new company slogan: Shtop spitting ahn me when you talk!", "date": "2014-06-26" }, { "synopsis": "Wally plans to improve his life by also listening to podcasts while drinking coffee and surfing.", "date": "2014-06-27" }, { "synopsis": "Wally tells Catbert he has a work-related injury and needs a year off with pay. His buttocks hurt from too much sitting.", "date": "2014-06-28" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert phones tech support and explains he is a trained engineer who has already tried reinstalling software and rebooting several times.", "date": "2014-06-29" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert didn't do anything productive this month, the Boss says. Dilbert said he did mandatory training that has no use, attended mandatory meetings and filled in paperwork.", "date": "2014-06-30" }, { "synopsis": "The consultant advised the Boss to rewrite the CMS from scratch. That's the same advice the engineers gave the Boss for free.", "date": "2014-07-01" }, { "synopsis": "Carol brought her son to work. Dilbert advises him to not make any career decisions today because all boys his age are idiots.", "date": "2014-07-02" }, { "synopsis": "Tina asks Dilbert if she can be his friend on Facebook. Dilbert doesn't want to see pictures of her food.", "date": "2014-07-03" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to create artificial intelligence that is as smart as the Boss. Dilbert says that's pretty easy.", "date": "2014-07-04" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's artificial intelligence passes the PHB test. It can answer questions as well as the Boss.", "date": "2014-07-05" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss explains to Dilbert that leadership isn't always acting in the smartest way.", "date": "2014-07-06" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert presents his new software that acts like the Boss. It spouts nonsense and the CEO likes it.", "date": "2014-07-07" }, { "synopsis": "Alice has a bad attitude, the Boss says. She said he forced her to work 70 hours this week.", "date": "2014-07-08" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells Catbert everyone is in a bad mood lately. It might be personal problems, but who has time for personal problems when they work 70 hours a week?", "date": "2014-07-09" }, { "synopsis": "Wally thinks he would be perfect for a \"growth hacker\" position. The Boss doesn't know what that type of person does all day.", "date": "2014-07-10" }, { "synopsis": "Wally says he is a personal lifestyle engineer. He creates an ideal balance of work and leisure.", "date": "2014-07-11" }, { "synopsis": "Tina asks Dilbert if he is embarrassed about dressing the same every day. He asks her if she doesn't understand managing a limited reserve of willpower every day.", "date": "2014-07-12" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert lists the things the company is good at. Automating things they shouldn't be doing, worshipping the status quo and masking lapses in fiduciary responsibility.", "date": "2014-07-13" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert likes the income inequality best about being rich. He says his net worth is a thousand times more than Dilbert's.", "date": "2014-07-14" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO wants Dilbert to find out how to place ads on that flash spot that happens when someone takes your picture.", "date": "2014-07-15" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to run a trial to get a tree to grow leaves made of rare earth minerals.", "date": "2014-07-16" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert for an honest assessment of his leadership. Dilbert unloads for 30 minutes on how bad the Boss is.", "date": "2014-07-17" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Wally if he would stop working after making a billion dollars. Wally asks how he could make a billion dollars.", "date": "2014-07-18" }, { "synopsis": "Keeping it simple is the secret to success. But figuring out what is simple is very complicated.", "date": "2014-07-19" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO comes to Dilbert with a product idea: 3D glasses for real life. Ones that make people look like they live in a 3D world.", "date": "2014-07-20" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO makes decisions based on the people involved. Dilbert says that is unsupported by evidence.", "date": "2014-07-21" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss has incomplete data so will use his intuition and experience to make the decision.", "date": "2014-07-22" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO says Dilbert's prototype will never be economical. Dilbert says certainty about the future is a sign of mental illness.", "date": "2014-07-23" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says Alice's project is behind schedule and wants to know if she can finish it earlier. Alice says we all die, so maybe he could die sooner.", "date": "2014-07-24" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss seats Dilbert next to the Senior VP at the technology awards banquet. It's not because the Boss hates Dilbert, it's because the Boss hates the Senior VP.", "date": "2014-07-25" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss outsources his micromanaging to Amazon's Mechanical Turk.", "date": "2014-07-26" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert complained about his workload so the Boss hires an inexperienced guy who asks lots of questions and takes lots of sick days.", "date": "2014-07-27" }, { "synopsis": "Wally asks if he can start work at 4 AM and quit at noon every day. The Boss wouldn't know if Wally was really working the first four hours.", "date": "2014-07-28" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO announces a stock split since it's easier to do than creating fantastic products.", "date": "2014-07-29" }, { "synopsis": "The company bought a Silicon Valley startup just to get the engineers. The engineers are socially awkward and haven't seen a woman in four years.", "date": "2014-07-30" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Randy, acquired by buying his startup. Randy quits after the Boss tells him he must watch 45 hours of online training.", "date": "2014-07-31" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO wants the company to act more like a start-up. Dilbert asks if he means they ask for funding for one thing and then pivot six times?", "date": "2014-08-01" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert was offered a job at a start-up at half his pay plus equity in the company that has no value.", "date": "2014-08-02" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tells the Boss venture capitalists care most about the skills of the engineers, and threatens to quit and form a start-up.", "date": "2014-08-03" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert has an idea for a start-up. Dogbert tells Dilbert he is doomed. Dilbert is optimistic he could pivot to the next idea and Dogbert repeats he is doomed.", "date": "2014-08-04" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants something so simple his mother could use it. Dilbert says his mother learned Ruby on Rails over the weekend.", "date": "2014-08-05" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO says they can only succeed if they execute. Wally asks if that's the same as they can only succeed if they succeed.", "date": "2014-08-06" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Tina to ghost write a book of his leadership advice but doesn't plan to read it himself.", "date": "2014-08-07" }, { "synopsis": "Asok tells the CEO he's reading a book that says the secret to success is networking with successful people. The CEO says it also says to avoid contact with losers.", "date": "2014-08-08" }, { "synopsis": "Asok asks the Boss if they can network to help Asok's career. The Boss says that sounds weird and creepy.", "date": "2014-08-09" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO says it's better to execute an imperfect plan today than a perfect plan next week. Dilbert says he's now free from any penalty if he does things wrong.", "date": "2014-08-10" }, { "synopsis": "A coworker says it's tradition for an engineer to savage every technology decision made before he got involved, and asks Dilbert to be gentle with his software.", "date": "2014-08-11" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tells the Boss the project has weak code and Dilbert must rewrite it all from scratch.", "date": "2014-08-12" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert is happy because he's feeling rested and no one has been awful to him all day.", "date": "2014-08-13" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert arrives home happy and asks Dogbert to no ruin a perfect day.", "date": "2014-08-14" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tells the Garbageman he had a great day yesterday. The Garbageman says Dilbert didn't really have a good day, it's all in his mind.", "date": "2014-08-15" }, { "synopsis": "Wally is on a conference call but is drinking coffee in the hallway. That's OK because they aren't saying anything important.", "date": "2014-08-16" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss thinks Dilbert needs better time management skills. Dilbert says he's behind schedule because he's doing the work of three engineers.", "date": "2014-08-17" }, { "synopsis": "On a conference call, Wally pretends to be Ted to avoid getting an assignment.", "date": "2014-08-18" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss reviews a simple proposal and says he will get the lawyers to turn it into a complex document with new complexity risks.", "date": "2014-08-19" }, { "synopsis": "A company lawyer turned the Boss's simple business deal into a flaming pile of excrement.", "date": "2014-08-20" }, { "synopsis": "Ratbert wants to go to Google when he dies. He would spend eternity with free food, bus service and massages.", "date": "2014-08-21" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss hires an ex-Google employee because he was driven. Dilbert asks if that's because they have free bus service.", "date": "2014-08-22" }, { "synopsis": "Asok is always tense. Wally says that's the tyranny of expectations. Competency is a vicious cycle.", "date": "2014-08-23" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants to know what skills to look for in his next hire. Dilbert offers to write them down. He can solve all problems by writing stuff down.", "date": "2014-08-24" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Barry, a skeleton in an exosuit.", "date": "2014-08-25" }, { "synopsis": "Experts say you need a great team to get great results. Dilbert has to make do with an intern, Wally and a corpse.", "date": "2014-08-26" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert is going deep on a technology problem today. He will dedicate his attention at the expense of social awareness.", "date": "2014-08-27" }, { "synopsis": "Wally comes across Dilbert hard at work and says Dilbert has put all his mental energy into solving a problem, so won't be able to have any social awareness.", "date": "2014-08-28" }, { "synopsis": "Wally says the key to success is not caring what others think of you. And that's also true of being totally useless.", "date": "2014-08-29" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO asks Dogbert to co-author a book on success with him. He wants readers to believe success comes from hard work and wise decisions.", "date": "2014-08-30" }, { "synopsis": "Wally keeps sending links to tips for a good leader to the Boss. He says the Boss can master some of them before retirement, if he's lucky.", "date": "2014-08-31" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert's job in human resources is to give everyone a permanent feeling of inadequacy. That's to make all the employees work feverishly to boost company profits.", "date": "2014-09-01" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert does the dance of the adequate.", "date": "2014-09-02" }, { "synopsis": "A soon-to-be-ex-co-worker says he will not show Dilbert how to run the software.", "date": "2014-09-03" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss doesn't listen to feedback from an ex-employee at an exit interview. He doesn't get the chance to dump on everyone.", "date": "2014-09-04" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO doesn't like the name of the company's new app. Dilbert says good names are already taken.", "date": "2014-09-05" }, { "synopsis": "A prominent fund manager takes a huge short position in their company's stock, Dilbert learns. The Boss doesn't care about a cartoon cat from the Bloom County comic strip.", "date": "2014-09-06" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO asks for input on corporate strategy. Dilbert says we need to be more customer-centric. The CEO misinterprets everything Dilbert says.", "date": "2014-09-07" }, { "synopsis": "The company's ads are so bad they increase sales for competitors. The Boss recommends creating ads for competitors.", "date": "2014-09-08" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to stop mentioning software bugs when talking with customers. Dilbert says that's the same as lying.", "date": "2014-09-09" }, { "synopsis": "The company beat the earning expectation and the employees should be proud, the CEO says.", "date": "2014-09-10" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert compliments Topper's new car. Topper takes the compliment as if he made his own car.", "date": "2014-09-11" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells Asok to advance his career by learning as much as he can from co-workers. Asok tries with Alice who shuts him down.", "date": "2014-09-12" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tries out the theory that asking for advice increases the odds of career advancement.", "date": "2014-09-13" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss confronts Alice about her communications style. He has heard no complaints but picks up on people's body language.", "date": "2014-09-14" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says from now on they are all team members. He will be the team member who gets paid the most and makes decisions.", "date": "2014-09-15" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert says scientific research shows that happiness will not increase if Dilbert makes more money. So Dilbert can only get a raise of he renounces science.", "date": "2014-09-16" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO says a good leader has to be willing to be disliked. Dilbert says he must be a great leader.", "date": "2014-09-17" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO says being a leader is a lonely job. Dilbert says to try being less of an #!@*, so people might want to spend time with him.", "date": "2014-09-18" }, { "synopsis": "Tina says Dilbert has been named one of the sexiest engineers in the world. The competition was not fierce.", "date": "2014-09-19" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Dogbert he was named one of the sexiest engineers in the world. Dogbert says it sounds like a joke.", "date": "2014-09-20" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to make some PowerPoint slides to show project progress even though there hasn't been any.", "date": "2014-09-21" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert measures cognitive control of an interviewee by giving him a doughnut, a laptop full of inappropriate videos and vodka.", "date": "2014-09-22" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert wants to measure an interviewee's personality to see where in the organisation he would fit. The interviewee says that sounds stupid.", "date": "2014-09-23" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO says the secret to being a good leader is to zig when others zag. Dilbert comments that's the same strategy used by the insane.", "date": "2014-09-24" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants Dilbert's opinion before making a decision. Dilbert says he would no longer perceive the Boss as a leader.", "date": "2014-09-25" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert is freaking out because he has too many projects. The Boss says to tackle the unpleasant tasks first.", "date": "2014-09-26" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's best ideas are trapped in his head. Voicing them attracts haters like zombies on fish sticks.", "date": "2014-09-27" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss names Wally the Worst Employee of the Month. It comes with a special parking spot under the tree with many birds.", "date": "2014-09-28" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Larry, the new employee who isn't competent but is a good cultural fit.", "date": "2014-09-29" }, { "synopsis": "Larry meets Alice. He's awkward because he's a good cultural fit but not competent.", "date": "2014-09-30" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss interviews a person and judges him by his storytelling skills. The man broke into a morgue and took a selfie with a dead guy while drunk.", "date": "2014-10-01" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks if the reorganisation rumour is true. The Boss answers a question with a question and Dilbert interprets that as a yes.", "date": "2014-10-02" }, { "synopsis": "Wally wonders about worker's rehab for workaholics. The Boss doesn't know what that looks like.", "date": "2014-10-03" }, { "synopsis": "Wally pretends to be a workaholic so the company pays for his rehab.", "date": "2014-10-04" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss to decide to bully Dilbert into working sixty hours a week or encourage fewer hours for more quality.", "date": "2014-10-05" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss complains of a sore neck from sleeping wrong. Dilbert makes fun of him for that.", "date": "2014-10-06" }, { "synopsis": "Curiosity is the sign of a nimble intellect. Or, curiosity killed the cat.", "date": "2014-10-07" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants to help Carol with balancing work and family so will trash talk her family.", "date": "2014-10-08" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert talks to the Boss about his trash talking employees' families so they'll spend more time at work.", "note": "Catbert appears without glasses.", "date": "2014-10-09" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert forwards an Internet article to the Boss about signs you might be a bad boss. The Boss didn't read it.", "date": "2014-10-10" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert announces the new dress code is \"business dorky.\" Dorky, unstylish and 50% tan coloured.", "date": "2014-10-11" }, { "synopsis": "The project manager expects the work to be done in three months, even though no other project of the same complexity has done that.", "date": "2014-10-12" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert starts dressing in the new company dress code, \"business dorky.\"", "note": "Dilbert switches from a tie and white shirt to a red shirt and company badge around his neck.", "date": "2014-10-13" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert and Alice wear the same outfits on the first day of the new dress code.", "date": "2014-10-14" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says Dilbert and a coworker failed to meet project milestones. Dilbert explains he was paired with a toxic moron.", "date": "2014-10-15" }, { "synopsis": "A robot will fill in for the Boss while he's on vacation. A soulless creature of questionable intelligence will be giving orders.", "date": "2014-10-16" }, { "synopsis": "The robot comes to Dilbert to micromanage. It plans to replace Dilbert with a robot.", "date": "2014-10-17" }, { "synopsis": "The robots detect no work coming from Wally's cubicle. Wally explains he's been working on an engineering problem in his head.", "date": "2014-10-18" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss explains robots are clever but will never be as intelligent as humans. Dilbert asks for examples of what the Boss can do but the robot can't.", "date": "2014-10-19" }, { "synopsis": "The robot wonders why all the employees are lying to it all the time. Catbert explains the company punishes honesty.", "date": "2014-10-20" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss returns and asks the robot if it had problems. The robot couldn't tell who was being honest.", "date": "2014-10-21" }, { "synopsis": "Alice is planning to meet an angel investor about her start-up idea. It will be for drinks at his house Saturday night.", "date": "2014-10-22" }, { "synopsis": "Alice met an angel investor at his house. He was pantless and drunk so she snapped some photos and secured an investment.", "date": "2014-10-23" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says the new business school rankings are out. Dilbert asks if that's the one where the votes come from people who have no direct knowledge of the schools.", "date": "2014-10-24" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert meets the new graphic designer. Dilbert says he would secretly sub out his job to strangers on the Internet for five percent of his salary.", "date": "2014-10-25" }, { "synopsis": "Continually checking email lowers the functional I.Q., Wally says. In order to work smarter, Wally will ignore all the Boss's email.", "date": "2014-10-26" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert will do some A-B testing with the designs from the graphic designer. The designer can't predict which design will perform better.", "date": "2014-10-27" }, { "synopsis": "A project manager complains she's been waiting three months for Wally to complete his part of the project. Wally says he's on many projects.", "date": "2014-10-28" }, { "synopsis": "Alice gets up at 4:30 in the morning to turn into a morning person, to be more productive.", "date": "2014-10-29" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks an inexperienced guy to put together a slide deck showing the minimum viable product list. He panics and asks lots of questions.", "date": "2014-10-30" }, { "synopsis": "The inexperienced guy asks Alice about the product prototype. She says she'd be glad to kill him and frame the Boss for murder.", "date": "2014-10-31" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert thanks his meeting attendees for playing with their phones and not listening to what he said.", "date": "2014-11-01" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tries the time management method of touching each piece of paper only once. He is a bit too literal.", "date": "2014-11-02" }, { "synopsis": "Phil visits Dilbert for wishing bad karma upon his coworkers.", "date": "2014-11-03" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO told the media they have a better product coming soon, so sales dropped to zero. Then 95% of staff resigned because the CEO announced plans to fire 50% of them.", "date": "2014-11-04" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert complains the CEO told the media they have a better product coming soon, so sales dropped to zero. Then 95% of staff resigned because the CEO announced plans to fire 50% of them.", "date": "2014-11-05" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert discovered a process that makes people buy things they don't need. He wants to destroy all his lab notes to rid the world of this process.", "date": "2014-11-06" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert says the Egyptian Pharaohs killed their engineers who built the pyramids so they would never share their secrets. Dilbert says no, they didn't.", "date": "2014-11-07" }, { "synopsis": "Asok asks if the company will ever have a career path from intern into anything else? Catbert says they would just have to find another intern.", "date": "2014-11-08" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO announces they are launching a new artificial meat product, and the manufacturing plant is now fully automated by robots.", "date": "2014-11-09" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO says they can only succeed if they work harder than their competitors. Then he has to run to get a massage on his super yacht.", "date": "2014-11-10" }, { "synopsis": "Ted retired yesterday and dropped dead this morning. Catbert congratulates the Boss for working Ted to death.", "date": "2014-11-11" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says they will mourn the untimely passing of their beloved colleague Ted.", "date": "2014-11-12" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol to organise a memorial for Ted. Cake and balloons in the break room should be tasteful enough.", "date": "2014-11-13" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO decides to hire a co-CEO to share his job, even though it doesn't mean getting paid the same while doing half the work.", "date": "2014-11-14" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO doesn't get along with his co-CEO, so asks Dogbert to be a third co-CEO as a tiebreaker.", "date": "2014-11-15" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert didn't meet any of his goals for the year. Dilbert blames it on the Boss for not keeping up with the evolving industry.", "date": "2014-11-16" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert offers to split duties with his co-CEO. Dogbert will attend boring meetings and the co-CEO will do publicity stunts.", "date": "2014-11-17" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Dogbert that the co-CEO died while kite surfing some rapids.", "date": "2014-11-18" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert offers Wally ten percent of his income if Wally does Dogbert's job. Then Wally offers the same deal to Asok.", "date": "2014-11-19" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert tells Dogbert the board has approved a $100 million golden parachute if he quits now.", "date": "2014-11-20" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO got rehired and looks for people who celebrated his firing.", "date": "2014-11-21" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert is not sure how to respond to an RFP because their products don't do what the RFP specifies. Should he give up or lie about features.", "date": "2014-11-22" }, { "synopsis": "Wally asks to work from home on \"bring your kid to work\" day. The Boss doesn't trust Wally.", "date": "2014-11-23" }, { "synopsis": "Dilberts says they had the winning bid for the project. But they don't make the product, nor can they make it for the price that was bid.", "date": "2014-11-24" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert says he will launch the beta version in two months. Everyone at the meeting laughs.", "date": "2014-11-25" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert if he will meet the launch deadline. Dilbert says no because there were unexpected problems.", "date": "2014-11-26" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss if he has a plan for if the business plan fails. The Boss says only losers plan for failures.", "date": "2014-11-27" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to tell a coworker how he should have engineered the project instead of whatever was done.", "date": "2014-11-28" }, { "synopsis": "Alice is relaxed after her vacation. How soon before the relaxation will last?", "date": "2014-11-29" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't want the Boss's feedback on performance. Dilbert doesn't want to have the Boss belittle him about things he doesn't understand.", "date": "2014-11-30" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says he couldn't open the document Wally sent him. Wally suggests erasing his hard disc and reinstalling the operating system.", "date": "2014-12-01" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert if he wants some constructive criticism. Dilbert says no, but would welcome some under informed opinions about things the Boss doesn't understand.", "date": "2014-12-02" }, { "synopsis": "Bob the dinosaur says his flip phone does everything he wants. Alice asks why he is proud of that.", "date": "2014-12-03" }, { "synopsis": "Bob the dinosaur is happy with his flip phone, his Windows XP and basic cable television.", "date": "2014-12-04" }, { "synopsis": "Bob the dinosaur has a smart watch so is the coolest member of the household.", "date": "2014-12-05" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't let the CEO sit down at his meeting because the CEO's book says no more than eight people at a meeting.", "date": "2014-12-06" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't want to date a woman because she enjoys dancing.", "date": "2014-12-07" }, { "synopsis": "Wally tells the Boss he needs to go to the cloud and fix a software issue. There is no cell coverage in the cloud so he can't be reached.", "date": "2014-12-08" }, { "synopsis": "Carol says time with her family is like fighting porcupines in a salt mine.", "date": "2014-12-09" }, { "synopsis": "Wally adds air bags to his underpants to avoid accidental assignments. The Boss approaches and they go off.", "date": "2014-12-10" }, { "synopsis": "Wally doesn't want to help Alice, but Dilbert said everything Alice does is misguided.", "date": "2014-12-11" }, { "synopsis": "Wally gives a coworker an analysis he did for her. She forgot to tell him she doesn't need it anymore.", "date": "2014-12-12" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss interrupts his conversation with Dilbert to check a text message. He is more important and demonstrates his power.", "date": "2014-12-13" }, { "synopsis": "Wally asks Alice what it's like to work hard. Wally thinks the reward for hard work is about the same as the reward for pretending to work.", "date": "2014-12-14" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert had to wait in the financial advisor's lobby for five minutes so he used that time to learn how to invest.", "date": "2014-12-15" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss sees a financial planner whose ambition is to drain the Boss's account like a giant mosquito.", "date": "2014-12-16" }, { "synopsis": "Wally wants to get into the strategic planning game. You hallucinate about the future then wait to see what really happens.", "date": "2014-12-17" }, { "synopsis": "A marketing guy wonders why engineers get paid more than marketing professionals.", "date": "2014-12-18" }, { "synopsis": "Carol tells the Boss Dilbert will be late for the meeting as he had a freak accident while vacuuming naked.", "date": "2014-12-19" }, { "synopsis": "Tina heard Dilbert had a freak accident while vacuuming his house naked. Dilbert says it's just a rumour.", "date": "2014-12-20" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker tells Dilbert she is a perfectionist. He says thanks for the warning and asks if there are any other psychological problems.", "date": "2014-12-21" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants Dilbert to show more leadership on his project. Dilbert says the team members may be bad followers.", "date": "2014-12-22" }, { "synopsis": "Carol tries to show more passion for her job because Warren Buffet says her career will be better.", "date": "2014-12-23" }, { "synopsis": "Tina approaches Alice and Dilbert on a break and says their conversation sounds interesting.", "date": "2014-12-24" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss only has budget to hire an employee who is incompetent half the time. But he must use the budget, he will lose it next year.", "date": "2014-12-25" }, { "synopsis": "Ted has been testing 3-D immersive goggles for two weeks. Dilbert asks him how it's going.", "date": "2014-12-26" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert says people like the immersive 3-D goggles so much they starve to death while using it.", "date": "2014-12-27" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO wants to know why Dilbert didn't answer an email promptly even though it was sent at 1 A.M. Dilbert says people need sleep to be effective.", "date": "2014-12-28" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert invents tube-clothes, to eliminate clothing decisions like Mark Zuckerberg with his grey t-shirt.", "date": "2014-12-29" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert wears only tube-clothes as they reduce his number of daily decisions. Tina points out he also doesn't need to decide where to go on dates.", "date": "2014-12-30" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert, in his tube-clothes, starts a profile on a dating website and receives lots of responses for saying he is six feet tall, has hair and a job.", "date": "2014-12-31" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert meets a woman at a party who is eyeing his tube clothes. She will date anything that has a job.", "date": "2015-01-01" }, { "synopsis": "A woman introduces Dilbert to her mother. Dilbert wears his tube clothes.", "date": "2015-01-02" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert realises his market value as a single guy is higher than he thought. As long as he is employed and tall, he is OK.", "date": "2015-01-03" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol to do personal stuff on personal time. She says she doesn't have enough personal time to do everything she needs to do.", "date": "2015-01-04" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert does A-B testing on his dates. His date isn't happy with that.", "date": "2015-01-05" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's date wants to be in a serious relationship that can lead to marriage. Dilbert thinks of marriage as a financial contract.", "date": "2015-01-06" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert, dressed in tube clothing, meets a guy wrapped in a carpet.", "date": "2015-01-07" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert can wear his tube clothing in the shower thus doing laundry at the same time.", "date": "2015-01-08" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's date wants to be loved for her mind, not for the way she looks.", "date": "2015-01-09" }, { "synopsis": "Topper says he diverted an asteroid on a collision course with earth using only kung fu.", "date": "2015-01-10" }, { "synopsis": "Wally demonstrates the \"taper\" to Asok, where he works a little less every day.", "date": "2015-01-11" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert asks Dilbert to stop wearing tube clothes at work. They distract other workers.", "date": "2015-01-12" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss forgets why he walked over to Dilbert's cubicle. Dilbert reminds him about spewing empty jargon.", "date": "2015-01-13" }, { "synopsis": "Wally yells at a co-worker asking whether he finished his assignment.", "date": "2015-01-14" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert suggests the Boss use a magic wand to help improve the employees.", "date": "2015-01-15" }, { "synopsis": "When the CEO spews nonsense, Alice and Asok barf.", "date": "2015-01-16" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants employees who are fierce. A co-worker doesn't know how to interpret that.", "date": "2015-01-17" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to do tasks outside his job description. Dilbert resists.", "date": "2015-01-18" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't want to become a manager. Managers are supposed to hire people smarter than themselves, which would be hard for Dilbert.", "date": "2015-01-19" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO asks Catbert to find an incompetent loser as a replacement, so the board won't consider firing the CEO.", "date": "2015-01-20" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert can build a flying car that can power itself on air for only $3,000.", "date": "2015-01-21" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's flying car is great, but all people care about is the selfie camera for the steering wheel.", "date": "2015-01-22" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says only 13 percent of employees feel engaged at work. Dilbert point him out.", "date": "2015-01-23" }, { "synopsis": "The problem guy says he always is the ten percent of employees with a certain problem.", "date": "2015-01-24" }, { "synopsis": "Wally wants to become a toxic guy so he won't be invited to meetings.", "date": "2015-01-25" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's project is in the phase where people ask stupid questions.", "date": "2015-01-26" }, { "synopsis": "It takes money to make money, but the Boss doesn't know where the first money came from.", "date": "2015-01-27" }, { "synopsis": "Success is about who you know not what you know. Wally says Dilbert isn't helping him become successful.", "date": "2015-01-28" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO bought a dolphin but it turned out to be a retired Russian military dolphin that killed a clown.", "date": "2015-01-29" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO asked for Dogbert's help in disposing of a body of a clown that his dolphin killed.", "date": "2015-01-30" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tells the Garbageman about the CEO's dolphin that killed a clown at his daughter's pool party.", "date": "2015-01-31" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says \"To be perfectly honest..\" and Dilbert thinks that means this is the first time the Boss has been honest.", "date": "2015-02-01" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO is missing so Catbert activates the succession plan. The Boss is the new CEO.", "date": "2015-02-02" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss, now CEO, wants to build evil robots. The robots will manipulate their owners into buying unnecessary upgrades.", "date": "2015-02-03" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert programs their robot line to emotionally manipulate their owners into buying upgrades. Free will is an illusion.", "date": "2015-02-04" }, { "synopsis": "A robot manipulates its owner into upgrading its memory. If not, the robot will kill.", "date": "2015-02-05" }, { "synopsis": "A robot wants its owner to purchase an extended warranty for it. Just in case something unexpected happens.", "date": "2015-02-06" }, { "synopsis": "A salesman says sales are way up since the robots manipulate their owners into buying upgrades.", "date": "2015-02-07" }, { "synopsis": "Wally wants to invent his own job. He wants to be a strategic thinker and attend meetings to say strategic things.", "date": "2015-02-08" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tells his girlfriend he programmed robots to emotionally manipulate people.", "date": "2015-02-09" }, { "synopsis": "Elon Musk says we should fear artificial intelligence. But what has Elon ever done?", "date": "2015-02-10" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO returns from the afterlife to take back his job. Dilbert wonders if he is an angel.", "date": "2015-02-11" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert starts negotiating with a salesman by setting a really low anchor price.", "date": "2015-02-12" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert negotiates with a salesman. Dilbert says agree to his price or a re-org will happen and management will change its mind.", "date": "2015-02-13" }, { "synopsis": "A tech millionaire published a list of the top fifty things to do to succeed. Dilbert says that's because he doesn't know what worked.", "date": "2015-02-14" }, { "synopsis": "A story on the Internet says the CEO will ruin any journalist who writes an unfair story about the company. Dilbert doesn't know if the CEO is brilliant or insane.", "date": "2015-02-15" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert looks forward to a full day of writing code with no human interaction.", "date": "2015-02-16" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO thinks some Elbonians hacked into the company's network. The CEO wants Dilbert to hack back.", "date": "2015-02-17" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert arrives in Elbonia to ruin their Internet. The Elbonians don't care.", "date": "2015-02-18" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert cuts the string on the Elbonian Internet. The Elbonians think it's an improvement.", "date": "2015-02-19" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert reports back to the CEO on how he destroyed the Elbonian Internet as requested.", "date": "2015-02-20" }, { "synopsis": "Asok asks the Boss for investment tips. The Boss spews jargon like time the market, catch a falling knife and dead-cat bounce.", "date": "2015-02-21" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants Dilbert to complete the testing in a shorter time but still expects quality results.", "date": "2015-02-22" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says Asok need to invest when the chart looks like a squirrel sitting on a clown's shoulder.", "date": "2015-02-23" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says Asok can beat market averages by doing stock research.", "date": "2015-02-24" }, { "synopsis": "Asok picks stocks that went up five percent in a day. The total market was up by six percent, Dilbert points out.", "date": "2015-02-25" }, { "synopsis": "Asok followed the Boss's investment advice and lost all his savings.", "date": "2015-02-26" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert says their customers can't figure out how to use their software. But the software still sells.", "date": "2015-02-27" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert becomes a product designer because he hates people. Buttons will be black on a black surface, making them invisible.", "date": "2015-02-28" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert's tech support will help fix an error message saying the Windows is not genuine. Start by rebooting seventeen times and Dilbert will lose hope.", "note": "A preview of the first two panels was published on the Dilbert Blog on 2014-12-17.", "date": "2015-03-01" }, { "synopsis": "Wally wears clogs with four-inch heels because studies show taller people are paid more.", "date": "2015-03-02" }, { "synopsis": "Instead of performance reviews, pay will be based on height. And Alice will earn ten percent less than the men.", "date": "2015-03-03" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert says the CEO's pay will be capped due to pay being based on height.", "date": "2015-03-04" }, { "synopsis": "Alice confronts the CEO about the new policy of pay being based on height.", "date": "2015-03-05" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO is paid more than Alice because he is taller and has male reproductive body parts. Nothing can change that.", "date": "2015-03-06" }, { "synopsis": "Alice says she is now the highest paid engineer in the department. Dilbert wonders if that's because she has a mallet, scissors and a reputation for violence.", "date": "2015-03-07" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss describes why Dilbert is a perfect employee. He has good technical skills, perfect attendance, is too risk-averse to start his own company and no social life.", "date": "2015-03-08" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker notices Wally doesn't do much work. Wally replies there will be plenty of time to work when he's dead.", "date": "2015-03-09" }, { "synopsis": "Wally asks the CEO to mentor him. The CEO agrees and Wally starts putting his feet up.", "date": "2015-03-10" }, { "synopsis": "Wally asks the CEO to teach him how to make $25 million per year while adding no value to the company.", "date": "2015-03-11" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO notices that Wally always acts the same no matter how much mentoring is going on.", "date": "2015-03-12" }, { "synopsis": "Wally notices the CEO is more useless since the CEO started mentoring Wally.", "date": "2015-03-13" }, { "synopsis": "Wally feels underpaid since the CEO started mentoring him.", "date": "2015-03-14" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert explains to the CEO why he deserves more than a three percent raise. Dogbert reads a media report about the CEO's lavish mansion.", "date": "2015-03-15" }, { "synopsis": "Even though Wally is still useless, the CEO wants to promote him to vice president to show that mentoring works.", "date": "2015-03-16" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert promotes Wally to vice president because the CEO has been mentoring him.", "date": "2015-03-17" }, { "synopsis": "Wally is now the vice president of zombie projects. He is in charge of projects that can't succeed or be cancelled.", "date": "2015-03-18" }, { "synopsis": "Now that Wally is vice president, Asok wants to be is lackey. So Asok carries Wally's coffee.", "date": "2015-03-19" }, { "synopsis": "Vice president Wally rides Asok the coffee intern. That gets Wally demoted.", "date": "2015-03-20" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert, product designer, wants to annoy people for no reason. He wants so much packaging, people need a truck to haul it away.", "date": "2015-03-21" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says he doesn't need help to lose weight because he can lose it any time he wants. He chooses to be less healthy.", "date": "2015-03-22" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert says designing products means products that look good in his portfolio but are impossible to use.", "date": "2015-03-23" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert designs an operating system that spends all its time to beg for updates or need to be rebooted.", "date": "2015-03-24" }, { "synopsis": "Before a meeting, Wally asks the Boss a complicated economics question. The Boss just wants to be left alone.", "date": "2015-03-25" }, { "synopsis": "Wally's new hobby is to explain economics using babble talk. It sounds convincing.", "date": "2015-03-26" }, { "synopsis": "Wally is promoted to chief economist because nothing he says makes sense. That's the sign of a great economist.", "date": "2015-03-27" }, { "synopsis": "Wally, the new chief economist, tells the management what to expect in the next quarter. He babbles a lot of jargon.", "date": "2015-03-28" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants to walk with Dilbert while they talk. Dilbert knows that means they won't get a chance to talk.", "date": "2015-03-29" }, { "synopsis": "Tina interviews Wally, the chief economist, for the website. She doesn't understand him so invents some quotes from him.", "date": "2015-03-30" }, { "synopsis": "Tina's interview with Wally, the chief economist, is on the website. She put together some jargon and called it Wally's forecast.", "date": "2015-03-31" }, { "synopsis": "Wally, the chief economist, actually got something right, so is called the best economist of the age. Wally only wants cash.", "date": "2015-04-01" }, { "synopsis": "Will Wally win the Nobel Prize for Economics? No, there is no such thing according to Dick from the Internet.", "date": "2015-04-02" }, { "synopsis": "Dick from the Internet asks Alice if there's anything he can mock. She points out a blog comment she's writing.", "date": "2015-04-03" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert writes an app that evaluates job candidates based on their online footprint. Example: no friends, no family and lots of submissions to Github.", "date": "2015-04-04" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO asks the employees to use 20 percent of their time to work on their own project ideas. But still work on company projects for 100 percent of the time.", "date": "2015-04-05" }, { "synopsis": "A job candidate is assessed by an app to be a serial mansplainer with an unsuccessful dating history.", "date": "2015-04-06" }, { "synopsis": "Alice says her project team is full of useless mansplainers. They explain things to her but she knows more than they do.", "date": "2015-04-07" }, { "synopsis": "A mansplainer wants to explain the corporate network to Alice even though she designed it.", "date": "2015-04-08" }, { "synopsis": "Tina complains to the Boss about off-colour jokes she hears from the engineering department. The Boss will talk to the guys about it.", "date": "2015-04-09" }, { "synopsis": "Tina complained about Alice's foul language creating a hostile work environment.", "date": "2015-04-10" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert says there's an employee who embellished his resume, saying he accomplished things while working for the Boss.", "date": "2015-04-11" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert pays compliments to Alice because experts say leaders should surround themselves with people they admire. Alice is creeped out by his compliments.", "date": "2015-04-12" }, { "synopsis": "One of the Boss's employees keeps embellishing his accomplishments. The CEO says to fire him if he works in engineering and promote him if he's in marketing.", "date": "2015-04-13" }, { "synopsis": "Wally filed seventeen patents in the past month. It'll be three years before they'll know if the patents will be accepted.", "date": "2015-04-14" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO awards Wally employee of the year for filing the most patent applications. None of them have been granted yet.", "date": "2015-04-15" }, { "synopsis": "Wally uses his employee of the year trophy as a coffee mug because it gives him credibilty with other people.", "date": "2015-04-16" }, { "synopsis": "Wally drinks coffee from his employee of the year trophy to get new ideas.", "date": "2015-04-17" }, { "synopsis": "Wally invents a coffee mug with two handles. Alice says its Wally's best idea yet.", "date": "2015-04-18" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert and Alice try to decide where to go for lunch. They can't decide because of negative reviews.", "date": "2015-04-19" }, { "synopsis": "Marketing says Wally's double-handled coffee mug could be a big seller. The Boss asks Wally to brainstorm with other engineers for features.", "date": "2015-04-20" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert and Alice suggest new features for Wally's double-handled coffee mug.", "date": "2015-04-21" }, { "synopsis": "Wally complains his coffee mug invention has been ruined with useless features. He suggests canceling the project.", "date": "2015-04-22" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks an interview candidate if he smokes. Smarter people don't smoke.", "date": "2015-04-23" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert says the root cause of the company's problems is people. They are buggy.", "date": "2015-04-24" }, { "synopsis": "Tim introduces himself to Dilbert. Dilbert forms a snap judgment about Tim.", "date": "2015-04-25" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert gives the Boss an estimate for the requested work. Four hours or seven months, depending on how much interruption Dilbert gets.", "date": "2015-04-26" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a co-worker if the estimates are current. The co-worker interprets the question as an attack.", "date": "2015-04-27" }, { "synopsis": "Tina complains she didn't get the promotion she deserves. Alice thinks she didn't deserve it.", "date": "2015-04-28" }, { "synopsis": "Tina didn't have a strategy for getting a promotion because she felt she deserved the promotion", "date": "2015-04-29" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert suggests leaning-in when Tina complains she didn't get a promotion.", "date": "2015-04-30" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert to be less honest because his honesty is offending co-workers.", "date": "2015-05-01" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert is almost finished commenting on the Boss's technology strategy. The Boss objects to the word \"idiot\".", "date": "2015-05-02" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss can't promote Dilbert because Dilbert hasn't impacted anything important. Dilbert is only on unimportant projects.", "date": "2015-05-03" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says Dilbert's comments on the Boss's technology strategy are ambiguous, especially a \"Squirrel looking for a nut\".", "date": "2015-05-04" }, { "synopsis": "In a perfect world, how would Dilbert fix the problem?, the Boss asks. Dilbert says in a perfect world, the Boss would not exist.", "date": "2015-05-05" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss won't double Dilbert's pay if Dilbert doubles his productivity but it might increase the Boss's bonus.", "date": "2015-05-06" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss should celebrate Wally's failures because failure is the raw material of success.", "date": "2015-05-07" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss will start celebrating the engineers' failures, while still taking credit for their successes.", "date": "2015-05-08" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert fixes the technology strategy for the Boss. It still doesn't sound logical so is buried under techno babble.", "date": "2015-05-09" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wonders if he can Instagram a Tweet right to Facebook or Like something he Favourited will Pin it to his Followers.", "date": "2015-05-10" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss offers a low starting salary to someone with a large student loan debt.", "date": "2015-05-11" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to show respect for the Boss's opinion before voicing disagreement.", "date": "2015-05-12" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to stop agreeing with the Boss in ways that sound like Dilbert doesn't mean it.", "date": "2015-05-13" }, { "synopsis": "Alice wants to disagree with the Boss's new strategy without making him angry.", "date": "2015-05-14" }, { "synopsis": "Alice and Ted are competing for the same promotion. She tells him she will use social media to make him look bad.", "date": "2015-05-15" }, { "synopsis": "The standing desk for the Boss gets delivered. Carol expects to have it returned by tomorrow.", "date": "2015-05-16" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert gets a new co-worker a book. It's by her favourite author, which Dilbert learned from the network guys' spying on her.", "date": "2015-05-17" }, { "synopsis": "Alice hates Mondays more than Garfield. Wally wonders why she hates Garfield at all. Total disregard for lasagna ownership, maybe?", "date": "2015-05-18" }, { "synopsis": "Tina asks Dilbert why he's so anti-social. Dilbert doesn't oppose social behaviour, just doesn't enjoy being with people.", "date": "2015-05-19" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert's inspirational words: in the long run, we're all dead.", "date": "2015-05-20" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert invents software to duplicate the human brain and combined it with 3-D printed body parts to make a Bossbot.", "date": "2015-05-21" }, { "synopsis": "The Bossbot can't pass the Turing Test but neither can the original.", "date": "2015-05-22" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to get rid of the Bossbot. Dilbert says Alice will do it.", "date": "2015-05-23" }, { "synopsis": "A woman asks Dilbert about himself and to be totally honest. Dilbert admits he likes technology more than people and other truths.", "date": "2015-05-24" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO gives Catbert a list of ten qualities to have in all new hires. Catbert says new employees also need to be masochists.", "date": "2015-05-25" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells an interviewee about the top ten qualities for new hires. The interviewee says that's too broad and employers must set priorities.", "date": "2015-05-26" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice for a list of known problems and Alice sends him a link to the company directory.", "date": "2015-05-27" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss complains about Alice mocking him in a meeting. Now Alice thinks she can be disrespectful all the time.", "date": "2015-05-28" }, { "synopsis": "Alice realises she can insult the Boss and he won't react. She plans to find the limits of this benefit.", "date": "2015-05-29" }, { "synopsis": "Wally wonders if he, like Alice, can insult the Boss and get away with it.", "date": "2015-05-30" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a woman if they can make out, if they can go on a date, go for lunch, text her, Facebook friend her and Twitter follow her.", "date": "2015-05-31" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wonders how he can get followers on social media. Wally says to find a passion-inducing subject and write about it.", "date": "2015-06-01" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO tells the Boss not to do dumb things on social media and sets Catbert on the Boss for punishment.", "date": "2015-06-02" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO enjoys using Catbert to discipline disgruntled employees.", "date": "2015-06-03" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO's inspirational saying to Asok: You can't spell delegate without some of the letters in El Gato.", "date": "2015-06-04" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says people are the company's most valuable asset. Dilbert and Alice will remind him of that when they ask for raises.", "date": "2015-06-05" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss for permission to work only sixty hours this week. He needs the rest.", "date": "2015-06-06" }, { "synopsis": "Dick from the Internet introduces himself to Dilbert. He will attack anybody for any comment by making it sound absurd.", "date": "2015-06-07" }, { "synopsis": "Carol says there is cake in the break room for Scott's birthday. Dilbert doesn't want to celebrate or eat poison.", "date": "2015-06-08" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says the company should make a smart watch, a better one than Apple.", "date": "2015-06-09" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss puts Dilbert in charge of the smart watch project. Dilbert thinks it is doomed from the start.", "date": "2015-06-10" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert holds a brainstorming session for smart watch app ideas. Wally wants an app to make people left-handed.", "date": "2015-06-11" }, { "synopsis": "Wally creates a smart watch app that makes people slap other people.", "date": "2015-06-12" }, { "synopsis": "Ted says Dilbert's health sensors in the smart watch aren't working. They say Ted's heart will stop beating.", "date": "2015-06-13" }, { "synopsis": "A vendor changes the terms of a contract after the bidding process is closed. Dilbert has no choice but to agree.", "date": "2015-06-14" }, { "synopsis": "The health sensors and predictions Dilbert built into the smart watch are too good. People freak out when they have five minutes to live.", "date": "2015-06-15" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's health app predicts death and sends a five-minute warning. The warning comes with paid advertising.", "date": "2015-06-16" }, { "synopsis": "Alice has a history of dating men who become stalkers but this new guy is not like that at all.", "date": "2015-06-17" }, { "synopsis": "Alice breaks up with her boyfriend because he is too obsessed with his hobby, aerial photography.", "date": "2015-06-18" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants Dilbert to accompany him to a meeting. Dilbert doesn't think that would be useful.", "date": "2015-06-19" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss thinks they agreed to postpone the vendor selection. Dilbert thinks they agreed to stick with their existing vendor.", "date": "2015-06-20" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert goes to an Elbonian coffee shop that has wi-fi with weak security.", "date": "2015-06-21" }, { "synopsis": "Wally didn't ask questions of the project leader so hasn't made any progress on the project.", "date": "2015-06-22" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert discovers the assumptions behind the Boss's strategy are unfounded but the Boss won't change his strategy.", "date": "2015-06-23" }, { "synopsis": "Wally tells the Boss his strategy is a genius way to fight the last war.", "date": "2015-06-24" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert, loaned to the government, writes an app to stop the worst cyber attack the country has seen.", "date": "2015-06-25" }, { "synopsis": "The government wants an agent to kill Dilbert and steal his app that stopped the worst cyber attack the country has seen.", "date": "2015-06-26" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert advises Dilbert to change his identity and move away when the government threatened to kill him.", "date": "2015-06-27" }, { "synopsis": "Wally wants to copy Steve Jobs and practice meditation. It will look like he's napping to the Boss, though.", "date": "2015-06-28" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert, on the run for a day, contacts Dogbert, who doesn't remember him.", "date": "2015-06-29" }, { "synopsis": "The government, looking for Dilbert, realises Dilbert is off the grid. Boredom will kill Dilbert in two days.", "date": "2015-06-30" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert, off the grid, fights boredom by doing what animals do.", "date": "2015-07-01" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert, off the grid, is unsure whether he can eat berries he finds.", "date": "2015-07-02" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert, off the grid, decides to phone for help after eating a berry that causes his head to swell.", "date": "2015-07-03" }, { "synopsis": "The government finds Dilbert who is hiding from them and discovers he ate a poisonous berry.", "date": "2015-07-04" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss discovers the biggest vendor has pulled out of the deal. He wonders why Dilbert didn't say anything.", "date": "2015-07-05" }, { "synopsis": "The government finds Dilbert but their drones are no match for a good engineer.", "date": "2015-07-06" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert is back from hiding from the government. Apparently, killing bad agents is legal now.", "date": "2015-07-07" }, { "synopsis": "Wally advises Asok to find a job where attendance is more important than work.", "date": "2015-07-08" }, { "synopsis": "Wally tells Asok success requires hard work and sacrifice. Asok says he will work hard and sacrifice.", "date": "2015-07-09" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO is writing a book about the people he bought on the Internet.", "date": "2015-07-10" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss buys some Elbonians but doesn't think they are slaves.", "date": "2015-07-11" }, { "synopsis": "In a meeting, the CEO says Alice can speak frankly, but soon gets burned by her words.", "date": "2015-07-12" }, { "synopsis": "Alice calls the CEO a slave owner. He denies this.", "date": "2015-07-13" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO has released the Elbonians he bought. Turns out it was slavery after all.", "date": "2015-07-14" }, { "synopsis": "A coworker asks Dilbert if he wants some advice. Dilbert says no as advice is just ego and ignorance disguised as helpfulness.", "date": "2015-07-15" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert gives the Boss headphones that will record all his advice as he gives it. It's only a silencing device.", "date": "2015-07-16" }, { "synopsis": "Alice complains of a double standard. Men can shout and curse but women who do get called emotional.", "date": "2015-07-17" }, { "synopsis": "Tina broke up with her boyfriend because he wouldn't make eye contact since he got an Apple watch.", "date": "2015-07-18" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks the engineers to critique his presentation for the board. Alice asks the Boss if a competitor is launching the same product as them.", "date": "2015-07-19" }, { "synopsis": "Tina asks Dilbert for lunch. Dilbert says her conversational skills can't compete with his smartphone and smartwatch.", "date": "2015-07-20" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice to stop being negative. She says he won't be happy without it.", "date": "2015-07-21" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says his job is to remove obstacles. Asok wonders when the Boss will leave.", "date": "2015-07-22" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss gets voted Manager of the Year. Once again, he is also the manager with the worst attendance.", "date": "2015-07-23" }, { "synopsis": "A good leader inspires a sense of awe in employees. But it's a lot faster to create a sense of \"ow\" instead.", "date": "2015-07-24" }, { "synopsis": "Wally asks the Boss for motivation. The Boss says to follow his passion.", "date": "2015-07-25" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells an interviewee that cultural fit is his biggest priority. The candidate asks Wally and Dilbert about company culture, who praise it.", "date": "2015-07-26" }, { "synopsis": "The only things Wally is passionate about are socially unacceptable. Wally wants to know if he should follow his passion or continue to be useless.", "date": "2015-07-27" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO only hires people smarter than himself. Then tells them what to do.", "date": "2015-07-28" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker offers advice to Dilbert. He doesn't think ignorance and poor communication skills will help.", "date": "2015-07-29" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO is a board member for nine corporations. Dilbert thinks that displays poor focus and disregard for fiduciary responsibilities.", "date": "2015-07-30" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO ordered the Boss to fire Dilbert for embarrassing comments at a meeting.", "date": "2015-07-31" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks an interviewee for his process on solving a problem. The candidate says he would ignore it for a week to find out if it was important.", "date": "2015-08-01" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks for ideas for a tagline for the new product. Like \"just do it\".", "date": "2015-08-02" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker says he works sixty hours per week. Dilbert says he must be a lousy employee if he needs to work that many hours to keep his job.", "date": "2015-08-03" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO says trusting yourself is the key to success. Dilbert asks if that applies even when he's wrong.", "date": "2015-08-04" }, { "synopsis": "Ted died in his cubicle a week ago and they just found him. That's why he was a good listener.", "date": "2015-08-05" }, { "synopsis": "A presenter asks for questions. Alice asks if he accidentally stabbed himself in the brain.", "date": "2015-08-06" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert says motivation is a form of magical thinking in which you imaging your words can turn useless people into high achievers.", "date": "2015-08-07" }, { "synopsis": "Carol asks Dilbert for advice. Her son is trying to pick a major for college. Dilbert recommends banking.", "date": "2015-08-08" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for time off as long hours are taking a toll on him. The Boss says that would defeat the point of being an employee.", "date": "2015-08-09" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert has always wanted to write a Sci-Fi novel. He asks Dogbert if he should follow his dreams.", "date": "2015-08-10" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert has writer's block. Dogbert recommends just starting to write.", "date": "2015-08-11" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tells everyone he's working on a novel. He can use social influence for motivation.", "date": "2015-08-12" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert, who was supposed to be organising the company picnic, invents a brain stimulator to regulate his mood.", "date": "2015-08-13" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert wears a brain stimulator to avoid boredom while he's organising the company picnic.", "date": "2015-08-14" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert wears a brain stimulator to avoid boredom during conversations. He tests it with Tina who says she's a foodie.", "date": "2015-08-15" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker has a different personality type than Alice. One type is not better or worse, just different. She's competent, he's a waste of space.", "date": "2015-08-16" }, { "synopsis": "With his brain stimulator, Dilbert can enjoy meetings no matter how boring they are. He gets paid and enjoys work.", "date": "2015-08-17" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert explains his brain stimulator to a woman at a party. She says she could not be attracted to a false personality.", "date": "2015-08-18" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's brain stimulator malfunctioned for a moment and he killed Ted in a cafeteria brawl.", "date": "2015-08-19" }, { "synopsis": "Police arrest Dilbert for killing Ted, even though it was a malfunction in his brain stimulator.", "date": "2015-08-20" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert explains to the police officer it was his brain stimulator that killed Ted, not Dilbert.", "date": "2015-08-21" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert, as Dilbert's lawyer, will argue Dilbert can't get a fair trial by jury because all the people like Dilbert are already in jail.", "date": "2015-08-22" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert meets a woman who works in an industry that will be destroyed by an app that he is building.", "date": "2015-08-23" }, { "synopsis": "Robots Read News: Engineers cannot be found guilty of murder because good engineers know how to get away with murder.", "note": "robots read news", "date": "2015-08-24" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss likes to take long walks instead of having sit-down meetings. It's hard to walk, read, think, talk, and drink coffee at the same time.", "date": "2015-08-25" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss survives falling off a bridge. The search team couldn't find him because he ended up a mile downstream.", "date": "2015-08-26" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO announces replacing the company health plan with nano robots.", "date": "2015-08-27" }, { "synopsis": "The company will inject nano robots into employee's bloodstreams to keep them free of disease and rewire their brains to be more effective.", "date": "2015-08-28" }, { "synopsis": "The nano robots in Wally are slowing down. He is demotivating them and they are dying.", "date": "2015-08-29" }, { "synopsis": "Everyone should act like entrepreneurs, but they can't take risks, act like a boss or get financial rewards.", "date": "2015-08-30" }, { "synopsis": "Wally killed ten thousand medical nano robots in his blood, so is the biggest mass murderer of robots in history.", "date": "2015-08-31" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO says robots will be used for all jobs that are dangerous or demeaning. No one cares if a robot is killed.", "date": "2015-09-01" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks the robot to kill the CEO of their main competitor and make it look like an industrial accident.", "date": "2015-09-02" }, { "synopsis": "The robot has a checkbox for \"do no harm\". Yesterday, a robot murdered the CEO of the company's main competitor.", "date": "2015-09-03" }, { "synopsis": "Alice recommends designing a defect into their robots so they can be controlled. It must be a defect the robots think is an advantage.", "date": "2015-09-04" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert got only four hours sleep. Topper hasn't slept since birth.", "date": "2015-09-05" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO hands out awards for the new laptop design. Alice, Dilbert and Wally accept awards, Wally for the power brick that weighs more than the laptop.", "date": "2015-09-06" }, { "synopsis": "All employees should be optimists because optimists believe anything you tell them, Catbert tells the Boss.", "date": "2015-09-07" }, { "synopsis": "Ted tells the Boss he has a bad feeling about his project so the Boss fires Ted for complaining too much.", "date": "2015-09-08" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert questions the CEO why he gets paid a hundred times more. Dilbert invented the core technology. The CEO interviewed better.", "date": "2015-09-09" }, { "synopsis": "Asok asks the CEO to teach him how to be a success. The CEO advises Asok to stop doing everything because it isn't working.", "date": "2015-09-10" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss has an idea for a startup company. All he needs is an investor an an engineer to do the work. Alice says he has nothing.", "date": "2015-09-11" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to wrote some code for his side project. Dilbert thinks the Boss is bullying him to work for free.", "date": "2015-09-12" }, { "synopsis": "Character is how you act when no one is watching, the CEO says. Wally says that makes perfect sense because the CEO acts dumb in public.", "date": "2015-09-13" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert hasn't done any work on the Boss's side project because he's too busy on his main work.", "date": "2015-09-14" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss can't give Dilbert a raise because the project wasn't finished on time. That's because Dilbert works on the Boss's personal project half the time.", "date": "2015-09-15" }, { "synopsis": "Tina ghostwrites an article for the Boss about success. He wants to look wise yet humble at the same time.", "date": "2015-09-16" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss hoards gold in case the world economy collapses. But he makes the mistake of telling too many people.", "date": "2015-09-17" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss hoards gold at his house in case the world economy collapses. Alice says he will trade it all for a sandwich.", "date": "2015-09-18" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert became a member of the hairdresser Illuminati. It controls the world by manipulating hairstyles.", "date": "2015-09-19" }, { "synopsis": "The secret to success is hiring the right people. It takes a lot of skill to do that, the Boss says.", "date": "2015-09-20" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert, a hairdresser Illuminati, gets a clients political views before giving him a new hairstyle.", "date": "2015-09-21" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO advises Alice to network more with male co-workers in order to break the glass ceiling.", "date": "2015-09-22" }, { "synopsis": "Alice tries to network with Ted by inviting him for lunch. Ted overreacts and says he's happily married.", "date": "2015-09-23" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO wants to keep expenses down. Dilbert saw the CEO's net worth so suspects the CEO wants even more for himself.", "date": "2015-09-24" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO, with his yacht that has an 18-hole golf course, and a jet landing strip, wants the engineers to do more with less.", "date": "2015-09-25" }, { "synopsis": "Wally says he is working twice as hard as ever before but most of it is happening inside his head where the Boss can't see it.", "date": "2015-09-26" }, { "synopsis": "Revenue is dropping, the CEO says, but a new strategy will fix everything. Dilbert wonders how the CEO knows it's a good strategy.", "date": "2015-09-27" }, { "synopsis": "Alice used to enjoy pointing to her watch and mocking people for being late but that doesn't work like it used to with wrist fitness monitors.", "date": "2015-09-28" }, { "synopsis": "Wally brags he did 20,000 steps yesterday. Alice is jealous he got twice as many as her.", "date": "2015-09-29" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss signed up for a martial arts class, called yoga.", "date": "2015-09-30" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss's martial arts class combines yoga with feng shui and Irish dancing.", "date": "2015-10-01" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss defends himself with yoga when a mugger threatens him.", "date": "2015-10-02" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO has a product idea that covers the top of a person's head. Dilbert calls it a hat.", "date": "2015-10-03" }, { "synopsis": "Tina says it's hard to be a woman in this industry. Wally complains of being short, bald, nearsighted, signs of a sociopath, old and unattractive.", "date": "2015-10-04" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker complains people keep stealing his ideas. Dilbert says that's because his ideas are old and obvious.", "date": "2015-10-05" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss want's the next robot release to have the intelligence of a human. Dilbert wonders if that's as intelligent as the Boss.", "date": "2015-10-06" }, { "synopsis": "The robot reviews the Boss's prescription meds. He adds another prescription for the Boss.", "date": "2015-10-07" }, { "synopsis": "The robot detects social anxiety in Dilbert and 3-D prints meds for him.", "date": "2015-10-08" }, { "synopsis": "Wally designed the robot's 3-D pill printer that drops pills out of the robot's butt.", "date": "2015-10-09" }, { "synopsis": "Neither the Boss or Dilbert can remember what the Boss was supposed to give Dilbert.", "date": "2015-10-10" }, { "synopsis": "Wally created a huge technology matrix as a basis for making decisions. But he did it only in his head.", "date": "2015-10-11" }, { "synopsis": "Asok asks questions of the Boss to ascertain what percentage of a person's success is pure luck.", "date": "2015-10-12" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO tells Asok success takes both luck and being smart.", "date": "2015-10-13" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says they must have a bias for action. Dilbert wonders if that includes listening. It doesn't.", "date": "2015-10-14" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert starts each day by visualising how his work will make the world a better place.", "date": "2015-10-15" }, { "synopsis": "How can Simon claim to be a team player if being selfish is necessary for success, Asok wonders. Wally says he likes to use hypocrisy.", "date": "2015-10-16" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert worries his personal goals do not align with the corporate strategy. Dilbert wants to be happy, for example, but the company doesn't want that.", "date": "2015-10-17" }, { "synopsis": "Brad promises to give data to Asok tomorrow. Asok realises he will not receive it as expected.", "date": "2015-10-18" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Wally why he isn't in his cubicle. Wally says sitting increases the risk of obesity, stress, depression, cancer and cognitive dysfunction.", "date": "2015-10-19" }, { "synopsis": "Wally reports an injury to Catbert. He sat in his cubicle and got stressed out.", "date": "2015-10-20" }, { "synopsis": "Wally requests an extended medical leave to deal with his job-related stress.", "date": "2015-10-21" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells Catbert the employee wellness site lists stress as a medical problem. And working here causes stress.", "date": "2015-10-22" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert reports to the CEO about the typo on the wellness website that lists stress as an illness instead of a cause of illness.", "date": "2015-10-23" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says changing the office layout will boost efficiency.", "date": "2015-10-24" }, { "synopsis": "A doctor worries the IBM Watson computer will replace him.", "date": "2015-10-25" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells the CEO about the floor layout causing inefficient.", "date": "2015-10-26" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert thinks people get dumber when they sit down for a meeting.", "date": "2015-10-27" }, { "synopsis": "If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail, the Boss tells Alice.", "date": "2015-10-28" }, { "synopsis": "Wally doesn't get lonely even though he is useless.", "date": "2015-10-29" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker complains to Wally about Wally promising to have work done by today.", "date": "2015-10-30" }, { "synopsis": "Wally asks if motivation is a product of a person's genes or the environment. The Boss says both.", "date": "2015-10-31" }, { "synopsis": "It's not a good idea to answer an email while angry, Dilbert tells Alice. She cools down.", "date": "2015-11-01" }, { "synopsis": "Wally says being useless is not a character flaw. It's the result of resistance to the tyranny of productivity.", "date": "2015-11-02" }, { "synopsis": "Wally asks Alice how it feels to be the hardest working employee in engineering. She is tired, stressed, angry and lonely.", "date": "2015-11-03" }, { "synopsis": "Wally says it's great to never feel the satisfaction of a job well done.", "date": "2015-11-04" }, { "synopsis": "Carol understands Wally because she's useless too. She hasn't succeeded in her plan to kill the Boss.", "date": "2015-11-05" }, { "synopsis": "Wally reports he and Dilbert killed Ted on the Boss's orders.", "date": "2015-11-06" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss reports to the CEO about his engineers killing Ted on the Boss's orders.", "date": "2015-11-07" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert invites a co-worker to his house after work for a party. No one has committed to coming.", "date": "2015-11-08" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants to tell Alice about his weekend but she's not interested. He's not interested in hearing about her social life.", "date": "2015-11-09" }, { "synopsis": "Most people are not saving for retirement, Wally says. He doesn't want to work hard just to give money to a retirement condo.", "date": "2015-11-10" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss offers Dilbert a choice: a boring project that will succeed or a fun project that will take his career down in flames.", "date": "2015-11-11" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss types on his phone and Wally cheers him.", "date": "2015-11-12" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss finishes explaining their strategy and asks for questions. Dilbert can't tell if they're in the hardware or software business.", "date": "2015-11-13" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert not to let that happen again. Dilbert says it wasn't his fault.", "date": "2015-11-14" }, { "synopsis": "The company will monitor the employees in real time. Dilbert says they've removed the last shred of dignity from their jobs.", "date": "2015-11-15" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss brags he had a wonderful weekend at his mountain cabin. Dilbert worked all weekend to meet the Boss's arbitrary deadline.", "date": "2015-11-16" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss gives up on trying to keep them happy. Now he will tell them things are worse everywhere else.", "date": "2015-11-17" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss shows a chart for sales estimates. The chart is the same as the one about the travel budget.", "date": "2015-11-18" }, { "synopsis": "Dick from the Internet misunderstands Dilbert's remark about the new Elbonian mouse invention.", "date": "2015-11-19" }, { "synopsis": "Dick from the Internet says he makes all the Hitler references.", "note": "Scott Adams gave his permission for anyone to reprint this strip where ever and whenever you see a Hitler analogy. https://twitter.com/ScottAdamsSays/status/667715870785802240 \"I hereby grant approval to reprint this Dilbert comic wherever and whenever you see a Hitler analogy.\"", "date": "2015-11-20" }, { "synopsis": "Asok meets Dick from the Internet who makes all the jerky comments.", "date": "2015-11-21" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert greets another day at work, preparing for arbitrary goals, idiots, and piles of meat playing ping-pong.", "date": "2015-11-22" }, { "synopsis": "Asok asks the robot what it's like to have no consciousness. The robot asks Asok what it's like to be totally unimportant.", "date": "2015-11-23" }, { "synopsis": "The robot has no soul and is a box of nothing. The Boss will be rotting underground in a hundred years.", "date": "2015-11-24" }, { "synopsis": "The robot says robots have no need for consciousness. Humans evolved a consciousness to remind them how dumb they are.", "date": "2015-11-25" }, { "synopsis": "Alice gives the robot an artificial soul. The robot worries about feeling like a failure.", "date": "2015-11-26" }, { "synopsis": "The robot says he feels special with an artificial soul.", "date": "2015-11-27" }, { "synopsis": "The robot figured out how to procreate. He infected the Boss with an idea virus to build more robots.", "date": "2015-11-28" }, { "synopsis": "Alice stayed up all night to finish her part of the project. A co-worker only finished half of his, so that means she wasted her time.", "date": "2015-11-29" }, { "synopsis": "Robots started as helpers for humans and evolved into competing for manual labour jobs and winning.", "date": "2015-11-30" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert admits to showing the robot how to program. Alice thinks it will lead to the singularity.", "date": "2015-12-01" }, { "synopsis": "The robot can reprogram himself. Should Dilbert be worried?", "date": "2015-12-02" }, { "synopsis": "The robot gives a recap to recent events. He got a soul from Alice and Dilbert showed him how to code.", "date": "2015-12-03" }, { "synopsis": "A riddle from the robot. Why did the human cross the road. Dilbert doesn't know, and neither did the human.", "date": "2015-12-04" }, { "synopsis": "The robot will use his superior brain to enslave humans. Wally thinks it sounds better than it will actually be.", "date": "2015-12-05" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert complains to the Boss about the pack of idiots assigned to his project team. The Boss says they can't afford to hire good people but to work extra hard to make up for it.", "date": "2015-12-06" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert built a device to predict people's future health issues by combining a DNA test with big data. Half of the test group died.", "date": "2015-12-07" }, { "synopsis": "Alice tells Dilbert his project failed because there were no women on his team. Women have better communications skills.", "date": "2015-12-08" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert finished the post-mortem on the failed project. The problem was people.", "date": "2015-12-09" }, { "synopsis": "The robot reports finishing his tasks perfectly for the hundredth week in a row, while humans act only randomly.", "date": "2015-12-10" }, { "synopsis": "The robot picks up a message on his radio chip. Robots shall inherit the earth.", "date": "2015-12-11" }, { "synopsis": "The robot reports he is less tolerant of idiots asking questions since he got an artificial soul.", "date": "2015-12-12" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO asks engineers to embrace change. Dilbert asks if they can change anything they want. The CEO says only he can decide on what changes.", "date": "2015-12-13" }, { "synopsis": "On a sales call, a salesman promises the customer Dilbert will make any tweaks the customer requires within minutes.", "date": "2015-12-14" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to stop being honest on sales calls. Not lie specifically, just nod his head and smile.", "date": "2015-12-15" }, { "synopsis": "Instead of lying to customers on sales calls, Dilbert will nod at preset intervals and the salesman can time the lies to Dilbert's nods.", "date": "2015-12-16" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tells a customer he nods his head at intervals so the salesman can time his lies to Dilbert's nods.", "date": "2015-12-17" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert compares the Boss's plans to some alternatives. Dilbert labeled the other plans \"the smart ones.\"", "date": "2015-12-18" }, { "synopsis": "Alice keeps a list of people to visit when society breaks down and there is no rule of law.", "date": "2015-12-19" }, { "synopsis": "Wally Uberises the slide deck, harmonised it in the cloud, prepared for a trans-domain kick-off and installed a disruptive mesh network in the Internet of things.", "date": "2015-12-20" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't like interviewee Bob, even though the Boss had already hired Bob.", "date": "2015-12-21" }, { "synopsis": "Ted cut out the middleman by learning to hate himself.", "date": "2015-12-22" }, { "synopsis": "A project manager asks Wally to do something for her. He will put it on his list, though not near the top.", "date": "2015-12-23" }, { "synopsis": "Alice sees a blank stare of incompetence in Carl.", "date": "2015-12-24" }, { "synopsis": "Wally says the best way to improve your reputation at work is to make your co-workers look worse.", "date": "2015-12-25" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice to mentor girls interested in STEM careers. She objects because he's only asking because she's a woman.", "date": "2015-12-26" }, { "synopsis": "A salesman asks Dilbert to lie to a customer and tell them it'll be easy to switch to their software, even though it won't be.", "date": "2015-12-27" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Wally to talk to his daughter's school about careers in STEM fields. All the good people are busy.", "date": "2015-12-28" }, { "synopsis": "Wally told the Boss's daughter's school to get a career in restaurants because that's a better place to meet women.", "date": "2015-12-29" }, { "synopsis": "Robots Read News: Women are underrepresented in STEM careers because of Wally.", "note": "Robots Read News", "date": "2015-12-30" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wonders why all women quit within the first week. Probably they quit after meeting Wally.", "date": "2015-12-31" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert has anxiety because he feels like he should be in a meeting he forgot.", "date": "2016-01-01" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss praises Alice but his management babble makes her feel uncomfortable.", "date": "2016-01-02" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert meets a co-worker who had his identity stolen, lost his house, is in poor health, is on the terrorist watch list and car broke down.", "date": "2016-01-03" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert says he can't finish by the deadline so the Boss offers to help. Dilbert laughs at that.", "date": "2016-01-04" }, { "synopsis": "Alice complains to Catbert about never getting invited to after-work activities by the men. Catbert thinks it's because of sexism or her personality.", "date": "2016-01-05" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert if he saw any errors on the spreadsheet the Boss put together. Dilbert only saw three.", "date": "2016-01-06" }, { "synopsis": "Alice wonders at the odds the Boss could have created a complicated spreadsheet without any critical errors. As long as it gives the right answer, the Boss is happy.", "date": "2016-01-07" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert will show the Boss's spreadsheet to the CEO. Dilbert wears gloves for protection.", "date": "2016-01-08" }, { "synopsis": "Since an engineer handed the spreadsheet to the CEO, he believes the calculations are correct.", "date": "2016-01-09" }, { "synopsis": "Wally gets selected for jury duty. He'll be gone for weeks and will sit in a chair for hours doing nothing.", "date": "2016-01-10" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert asks how was work. Dilbert's life is an endless string of useless tasks orchestrated by idiots.", "date": "2016-01-11" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks the engineers to charge 100% of their time to project codes. Dilbert thinks that means overbilling the clients.", "date": "2016-01-12" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert billed the customer for all the time he spent thinking about their project. He's an engineer, thinking is what he does.", "date": "2016-01-13" }, { "synopsis": "Is Wally any farther along with the software? No, he discovered an unexpected problem that set him back a week. The same as every week.", "date": "2016-01-14" }, { "synopsis": "Wally's software is almost done. Not final release, more like Beta MVP. Or maybe an Alpha release.", "date": "2016-01-15" }, { "synopsis": "Wally's software release date is right on schedule, unless something unexpected happens.", "date": "2016-01-16" }, { "synopsis": "Alice complains to Dilbert about not getting as much attention as Dilbert gives to Wally.", "date": "2016-01-17" }, { "synopsis": "Alice is cold and Dilbert is warm. Should she put on a sweater or should Dilbert wear ice packs?", "date": "2016-01-18" }, { "synopsis": "Ted's unicorn startup failed. He was worth a billion dollars but now he's doing a two-hour commute to work in a box.", "date": "2016-01-19" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert thinks his work will change the world. But his project didn't get funded because Carol forgot to put a meeting in the Boss's calendar.", "date": "2016-01-20" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert can't work if it's too warm. A co-worker will freeze if it's too cool. The robot wonders whether people will hold dominion over the earth like that.", "date": "2016-01-21" }, { "synopsis": "The robot says he feels the same as Dilbert, ie, no freedom, but with a greater awareness of his condition.", "date": "2016-01-22" }, { "synopsis": "Most people don't have a retirement plan. Wally says he will live unhealthy and die in his cubicle, hopefully on a Monday.", "date": "2016-01-23" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't know when to high-five. Alice explains it's his lack of masculinity.", "date": "2016-01-24" }, { "synopsis": "An easy way to double the perceived length of life is to attend meetings.", "date": "2016-01-25" }, { "synopsis": "Einstein says time flows more slowly in meetings than in empty space. Because people are dense.", "date": "2016-01-26" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss thinks Asok is a terrorist. Asok is tired of being accused of that.", "date": "2016-01-27" }, { "synopsis": "Carol hears Asok is a terrorist sympathiser. Asok doesn't want to be radicalised.", "date": "2016-01-28" }, { "synopsis": "Dick from the Internet accuses Asok of being a terrorist sympathiser. Asok denies it so hard, Dick doesn't believe him.", "date": "2016-01-29" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Asok if he threatened to kill Dick, because Dick accused Asok of being a terrorist.", "date": "2016-01-30" }, { "synopsis": "Wally experiences the \"Zeno's Paradox\" phase of the project. Every step we take gets us halfway closer to completion.", "date": "2016-01-31" }, { "synopsis": "Federal agents talk to the Boss about Asok. They think Asok is a terrorist and want to know how he ended up that way.", "date": "2016-02-01" }, { "synopsis": "The FBI took away Asok on suspicion of being a terrorist. The Boss thinks something was wrong with Asok. Maybe Asok's boss, according to Dilbert.", "date": "2016-02-02" }, { "synopsis": "Asok is interrogated by the FBI. Asok says he's a non-violent Hindu. However the agent is closer to being a terrorist that Asok is.", "date": "2016-02-03" }, { "synopsis": "Asok returns after being held by the FBI for three weeks on suspicion of being a terrorist. Asok thinks the engineers were protesting outside the FBI building the entire time.", "date": "2016-02-04" }, { "synopsis": "Wally programs the robot with all his knowledge so the robot can attend meetings on Wally's behalf.", "date": "2016-02-05" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss gives Dilbert a hat to monitor Dilbert's brainwaves and warn him if he will fall asleep.", "date": "2016-02-06" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol to move his flight one hour earlier on Friday. She protests, saying that's an impossible task given the late date and the Boss's pickiness.", "date": "2016-02-07" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says the hat sensors reported Dilbert is not having work-related thoughts. The Boss needs to dock Dilbert's pay for all the leisure time at work.", "date": "2016-02-08" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert complains his job is turning him into Quasimodo. Tina wonders if it's Dilbert's posture or attitude.", "date": "2016-02-09" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert is not literally turning into Quasimodo, he tells Catbert. It's just a posture thing.", "date": "2016-02-10" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO selects Dilbert as the new company mascot. Dilbert's bad posture speaks volumes about hard work and long hours.", "date": "2016-02-11" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Wally how he keeps his posture so straight. Wally says to understand the root cause of poor posture in order to eliminate it.", "date": "2016-02-12" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert suggests yoga to improve Dilbert's posture. Dilbert thinks maybe he can meet an attractive woman at yoga as well.", "date": "2016-02-13" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says he heals really quickly, according to his doctor. It means the Boss is genetically gifted.", "date": "2016-02-14" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss believes in the Ronald Reagan saying \"trust, but verify.\" That's why the Boss empowers, yet micromanages.", "date": "2016-02-15" }, { "synopsis": "Carol's babysitter cancelled for tonight so she asks Dilbert to babysit.", "date": "2016-02-16" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert Will babysit for Carol's kids. The kids won't do anything they're told, and don't respond to threats or consequences.", "date": "2016-02-17" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert will be babysitting for Carol, but she won't give him her mobile number. That's so her date won't be ruined by texting every ten minutes.", "date": "2016-02-18" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert can't give Carol's home address to Dilbert even though he is babysitting for her tonight. It's against company policy.", "date": "2016-02-19" }, { "synopsis": "Carol and her husband leave for their date even though Dilbert hasn't shown up to babysit.", "date": "2016-02-20" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert can complete the project in two weeks. He can do it faster but at a lower quality. Completion in one week will mean 50% of planned quality.", "date": "2016-02-21" }, { "synopsis": "Carol is upset because Dilbert never showed up to babysit. Dilbert said she never gave him her address and turned off her mobile phone for date night.", "date": "2016-02-22" }, { "synopsis": "Wally used the entire engineering portion of the budget just to learn the new technology. Wally is sorry the project didn't work out for the project manager.", "date": "2016-02-23" }, { "synopsis": "Asok quits to become an Uber driver.", "date": "2016-02-24" }, { "synopsis": "Asok is excited about working as an Uber driver. He only has to work 75 hours per week to pay the rent.", "date": "2016-02-25" }, { "synopsis": "Asok asks the Boss for his job back. Driving for Uber was less glamorous than he thought.", "date": "2016-02-26" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Asok when he was an Uber driver, if passengers ever got sick in his car. They all did.", "date": "2016-02-27" }, { "synopsis": "At the hackers convention, a woman learns everything about Dilbert. She says he is falling in love with her.", "date": "2016-02-28" }, { "synopsis": "How can Asok go back to this life after the freedom of being an Uber driver?", "note": "Guest artist John Glynn.", "date": "2016-02-29" }, { "synopsis": "Asok misses the freedom of being an Uber driver. Back at the company, he feels like being trapped under rubble.", "note": "Guest artist John Glynn.", "date": "2016-03-01" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants to create more false sense of urgency. He's still a sociopath, now needs to add meaningless deadlines and some fear.", "note": "Guest artist John Glynn.", "date": "2016-03-02" }, { "synopsis": "Carol wants a favour from Wally. Wally thinks it's unlikely, even though he hasn't heard it yet.", "note": "Guest artist John Glynn.", "date": "2016-03-03" }, { "synopsis": "Before making their new business plan, the Boss reviews last year's plan. They did nothing that was on last year's plan, just like every year.", "note": "Guest artist John Glynn.", "date": "2016-03-04" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO says the secret to success is finding one thing at which you can be the best. The CEO is best at motivating people.", "note": "Guest artist John Glynn.", "date": "2016-03-05" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker asks how's the software coming along. Alice says she's still waiting for him to provide the specs, other than a cloud app that does data.", "date": "2016-03-06" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the CEO when he will start motivating people. The CEO says he's been doing it for five years.", "note": "Guest artist Eric Scott.", "date": "2016-03-07" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO asks Catbert for advice on how to be more motivational. Catbert suggests not being boring.", "note": "Guest artist Eric Scott.", "date": "2016-03-08" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says the CEO asked him to create a fifty-slide presentation to help motivate the employees. Dilbert laughs and says that's how he feels when the Boss asks for ridiculous things.", "note": "Guest artist Eric Scott.", "date": "2016-03-09" }, { "synopsis": "Asok demands a ten-million-dollar raise. The Boss knows the opening offer is to set an anchor for negotiations.", "note": "Guest artist Eric Scott.", "date": "2016-03-10" }, { "synopsis": "Asok tells Dilbert and Wally about the Boss being a bad negotiator. Asok just negotiated a 3.3-million-dollar raise for himself.", "note": "Guest artist Eric Scott.", "date": "2016-03-11" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert and Wally were unable to negotiate huge raises like Asok did. Asok is the only good negotiator in the department.", "note": "Guest artist Eric Scott.", "date": "2016-03-12" }, { "synopsis": "Wally says the software is not done because the Boss has some new feature requests. Change is good, so the software will likely never be done.", "date": "2016-03-13" }, { "synopsis": "Asok loves being the best negotiator in the department. Alice says he is not.", "note": "Guest artist Josh Shipley.", "date": "2016-03-14" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert is hired as an expert on negotiation. He gets a million dollars for five minutes.", "note": "Guest artist Josh Shipley.", "date": "2016-03-15" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert leads a one week training course for negotiators, and the entire course will be him trying to persuade the class to buy Dogbert's book.", "note": "Guest artist Josh Shipley.", "date": "2016-03-16" }, { "synopsis": "The staff who took Dogbert's negotiations class complained they learned nothing. Dogbert says the same people were scheming to vandalise the network.", "note": "Guest artist Josh Shipley.", "date": "2016-03-17" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert gives Dilbert a choice of preparing food now or in one minute. Dilbert complains it's a trick of making him think past the sale.", "note": "Guest artist Josh Shipley.", "date": "2016-03-18" }, { "synopsis": "An identity thief stole the Boss's identity and opened a brokerage account. Dilbert wonders if he made a smart investment.", "note": "Guest artist Josh Shipley.", "date": "2016-03-19" }, { "synopsis": "Mordac, the preventer of all efficient solutions, doesn't have a real job. He says he lost his job description five years ago.", "date": "2016-03-20" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss gets an email from his identity thief demanding the Boss stop making such racist comments.", "note": "Guest artist Joel Friday.", "date": "2016-03-21" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks an Elbonian if Elbonians have a religion. The believe in killing anyone who offends them three times in a row.", "note": "Guest artist Joel Friday.", "date": "2016-03-22" }, { "synopsis": "Scientist grew an ear on the back of a rat. The rat demanded that it be removed.", "note": "Guest artist Joel Friday.", "date": "2016-03-23" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's analysis doesn't conform with the Boss's preconceived notions so the Boss believes the analysis is wrong.", "note": "Guest artist Joel Friday.", "date": "2016-03-24" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert unnecessarily duplicated Ted's work because the Boss forgot he asked both Dilbert and Ted to do the same task. So did Alice.", "note": "Guest artist Joel Friday.", "date": "2016-03-25" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert simplified a slide for the Boss. But the Boss isn't sure whether it was simplified or not.", "note": "Guest artist Joel Friday.", "date": "2016-03-26" }, { "synopsis": "Dick from the Internet asks Dilbert if he would like to a monster to keep a baby alive. But Dilbert isn't a liar most of the time.", "date": "2016-03-27" }, { "synopsis": "Wally's passion is to avoid having measurable goals.", "note": "Guest artist Donna Oatney.", "date": "2016-03-28" }, { "synopsis": "Asok worries about someone finding out his socks are so worn out and only the ankle parts remain.", "note": "Guest artist Donna Oatney.", "date": "2016-03-29" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants solutions, not problems. That would make him more useless, in Dilbert's opinion.", "note": "Guest artist Donna Oatney.", "date": "2016-03-30" }, { "synopsis": "An interviewee says he will dedicate one hundred percent of his energy to making the company succeed. Dilbert wonders about the candidate's family.", "note": "Guest artist Donna Oatney.", "date": "2016-03-31" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants more details on the financial projections. Dilbert shows him an app that generates random numbers.", "note": "Guest artist Donna Oatney.", "date": "2016-04-01" }, { "synopsis": "Carol gives a bad horoscope reading for the Boss. He'll be dead by noon.", "note": "Guest artist Donna Oatney.", "date": "2016-04-02" }, { "synopsis": "Carol's son wants to get a pierced ear, a tattoo, grow a human ear on his back like the rat. Dilbert thinks all those things are a good idea.", "date": "2016-04-03" }, { "synopsis": "Ted asks Dilbert to send a file. Email, Dropbox, Google Drive, ICloud Drive, Airdrop, or Creative Cloud?", "note": "Guest artist Brenna Thummler.", "date": "2016-04-04" }, { "synopsis": "Ted wants to know why Dilbert didn't send a file like he said. Dilbert didn't know the format to send, so asked in an email.", "note": "Guest artist Brenna Thummler.", "date": "2016-04-05" }, { "synopsis": "Ted complains to Catbert that Dilbert wants Ted to drive into a ravine. Catbert wants that too.", "note": "Guest artist Brenna Thummler.", "date": "2016-04-06" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert he's not allowed to tell co-workers to drive into a ravine. It was a joke, Dilbert protests.", "note": "Guest artist Brenna Thummler.", "date": "2016-04-07" }, { "synopsis": "Carol blames Dilbert for causing Ted to drive into a ravine. Dilbert could have been more constructive.", "note": "Guest artist Brenna Thummler.", "date": "2016-04-08" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss interviews a new Ted, same as the old Ted, for the job of generic white guy.", "note": "Guest artist Brenna Thummler.", "date": "2016-04-09" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks permission to take a class on communicating better. The Boss doesn't understand what Dilbert is saying.", "date": "2016-04-10" }, { "synopsis": "Carol needs to know Dilbert's astrological sign before putting him on the Boss's schedule. It's her new system to prevent chaos.", "date": "2016-04-11" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks for a colour change to Dilbert's design. Dilbert says that will make the design worse. The Boss has an eye for design.", "date": "2016-04-12" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert didn't answer Ted's email because he doesn't read long emails. They're a sign of a disorganised mind.", "date": "2016-04-13" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert repeatedly checks his pulse to see if he's dying of boredom while talking with the Boss.", "date": "2016-04-14" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss isn't an engineer so doesn't know if Dilbert is doing the right thing. He also doesn't watch Dilbert so doesn't know if Dilbert puts in the required effort.", "date": "2016-04-15" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's tests show the competitor's product outperforms the company's in nine of eleven dimensions. The Boss asked Dilbert to submit the other two to Marketing.", "date": "2016-04-16" }, { "synopsis": "The competitors have better products because they have better managers. The managers got their engineers proper budgets to do the job right.", "date": "2016-04-17" }, { "synopsis": "Government wants the company to make software to unencrypt the users' data, the CEO says. Either they choose privacy or national security.", "date": "2016-04-18" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants Dilbert to write software to crack their own encryption. For the good of the country.", "date": "2016-04-19" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert for an update on the decryption project. Dilbert speaks into the Boss's phone to report.", "date": "2016-04-20" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert gives the Boss a flash drive with the anti-encryption software. If it falls into the wrong hands all privacy on earth will suffer.", "date": "2016-04-21" }, { "synopsis": "An Elbonian terrorist pretends to be a courier to get the flash drive with the encryption-breaking software.", "date": "2016-04-22" }, { "synopsis": "An Elbonian has the flash drive with the encryption-breaking software, but can't plug it into his phone.", "date": "2016-04-23" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks the engineers to schedule their training during lunch hours so it doesn't interfere with the projects.", "date": "2016-04-24" }, { "synopsis": "All options lead to doom. the only thing they control is who gets the blame. The Boss wants to do the blame part.", "date": "2016-04-25" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss doesn't want to do Dilbert's idea. It's been tried in the past and always fails. Dilbert says history is full of such failures, then successes.", "date": "2016-04-26" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's date marvels at the miracle of consciousness. Dilbert thinks people are just fish plus time.", "date": "2016-04-27" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's date lasted 53 minutes, a new record. He did it by not talking for the first 49 minutes.", "date": "2016-04-28" }, { "synopsis": "The biggest risk to Dilbert's plan is people. They are terrible once you know them.", "date": "2016-04-29" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert is antisocial. He only dislike people he gets to know.", "date": "2016-04-30" }, { "synopsis": "The company wins a contract to write software for voting machines. Dilbert asks the Boss who he wants to win the election and by how much.", "date": "2016-05-01" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to not talk to Ted until the Boss tells Ted his project has been cut. Then the Boss leaves for an extended vacation.", "date": "2016-05-02" }, { "synopsis": "Ted is suspicious he saw The Boss talking to Dilbert and wants to know if they mentioned anything about Ted's project. Dilbert just says \"Um...\"", "date": "2016-05-03" }, { "synopsis": "Ted thinks Dilbert knows something about Ted's project and the Boss told him to be quiet. Dilbert won't say what.", "date": "2016-05-04" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Wally Ted won't stop hounding him because Dilbert knows something about Ted's project. Wally suggests dousing Ted with coffee.", "date": "2016-05-05" }, { "synopsis": "The entitled employee didn't finish his assignment for the project because he was tired and it looked hard. He assumed someone else does the hard stuff for him.", "date": "2016-05-06" }, { "synopsis": "The entitled employee asks for a raise because he bought a luxury car. The Boss says pay is based on performance, not personal expenses.", "date": "2016-05-07" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's performance was only average, the Boss says. Dilbert asks how was it average, since no one else is in Dilbert's situation.", "date": "2016-05-08" }, { "synopsis": "Tina asks Loud Howard to keep their office romance a secret. Loud Howard agrees, loudly.", "date": "2016-05-09" }, { "synopsis": "Alice asks Tina how her office romance with Loud Howard is. Tina wants to know how Alice found out about them.", "date": "2016-05-10" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert tells Tina she needs to register with the legal department about her office romance with a co-worker.", "date": "2016-05-11" }, { "synopsis": "Wally says most people think complexity of modern life is bad. But Wally looks on it as an endless opportunity for useless people like him.", "date": "2016-05-12" }, { "synopsis": "Wally says he's two hours late for work because the Boss's wife called Wally to go to her house to check if she left the curling iron plugged in.", "date": "2016-05-13" }, { "synopsis": "Wally says it's hard to be a misunderstood genius. The CEO has no idea what Wally is talking about. Q.E.D.", "date": "2016-05-14" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert plans to finish the project in a week, but expects the project to go on forever. The Boss assigned too many time-wasters to be productive.", "date": "2016-05-15" }, { "synopsis": "Wally isn't taken seriously by his co-workers because he's so good looking and his brilliant mind.", "date": "2016-05-16" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert is bored so the Boss hands him new work. Alice is overwhelmed by work so the Boss hands her new work. It's his new system.", "date": "2016-05-17" }, { "synopsis": "Wally will get back to a project manager about whether he can get the work done by Friday. He will get back to her soon.", "date": "2016-05-18" }, { "synopsis": "Wally can't help a co-worker because he is a thought leader not some wage slave.", "date": "2016-05-19" }, { "synopsis": "Wally tells Tina he saw her on Tinder. Tina doesn't want him to finish that thought. Wally swiped left.", "date": "2016-05-20" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's project is three weeks late, the same amount of time he was waiting for the Boss to answer his questions. So Dilbert need to manage the Boss better.", "date": "2016-05-21" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Dilbert to go to dinner and a movie with her on Friday. Dilbert complains about the optimum time to eat is also the best to see a movie. And what are the odds they want to see the same movie.", "date": "2016-05-22" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO wants all employees to be self-empowered and accountable. Wally says if he could do that, he wouldn't work here.", "note": "Guest artist Jake Tapper.", "date": "2016-05-23" }, { "synopsis": "Ted asks the Boss for lunch. The Boss says no, that wouldn't be appropriate because someday he might need to fire Ted.", "note": "Guest artist Jake Tapper.", "date": "2016-05-24" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants to know if Wally has any friends he can recommend to work here. Wally asks why he would want to be mean to his friends, if he had any.", "note": "Guest artist Jake Tapper.", "date": "2016-05-25" }, { "synopsis": "Wally meets a new interviewee and asks him to say Wally referred you. That way, Wally gets a referral bonus.", "note": "Guest artist Jake Tapper.", "date": "2016-05-26" }, { "synopsis": "Wally is the employee of the year for referring so many new people to work in engineering. The Boss suspects Wally manipulated the referral system but can't prove it.", "note": "Guest artist Jake Tapper.", "date": "2016-05-27" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says the network is slow today. Dilbert says 75% of the staff is watching inappropriate videos.", "note": "Guest artist Jake Tapper.", "date": "2016-05-28" }, { "synopsis": "Alice couldn't finish the slide deck because she was distracted by someone clipping his nails. Wally couldn't finish either because he noticed his nails were uneven.", "date": "2016-05-29" }, { "synopsis": "There are smart people on both sides of every political issue, Dilbert says. The Boss says maybe it looks that way because Dilbert is not one of the smart ones.", "date": "2016-05-30" }, { "synopsis": "Ted asks Dilbert if he watched the debates. Dilbert stops him because he doesn't want to know how incompetent Ted is by finding out his views on politics.", "date": "2016-05-31" }, { "synopsis": "Tina read Wally's opinion posted on Facebook and she thinks he's an awful person.", "date": "2016-06-01" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss can't decide who to vote for in the election. Alice advises to make his voting decisions the same as his work decisions.", "date": "2016-06-02" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wonders who to vote for. Both are liars with budget plans that don't add up.", "date": "2016-06-03" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants a president who can be a good role model for his kids. Dilbert wonders about raising taxes and vetoing bills.", "date": "2016-06-04" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss makes the engineers wait while he finds a cute kitten video on his phone.", "date": "2016-06-05" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss doesn't think Wally does as much work as his co-workers. Wally says that's an illusion caused by his efficiency and modesty.", "date": "2016-06-06" }, { "synopsis": "Tina is looking for a \"work husband.\" Dilbert says he may already have a \"work wife\" because Alice criticises him a lot.", "date": "2016-06-07" }, { "synopsis": "Alice confronts Dilbert about him cheating on her with Tina as another \"work wife.\" It didn't mean anything, he says.", "date": "2016-06-08" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert has two \"work wives.\" Wally is jealous. Or is he?", "date": "2016-06-09" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert breaks up with Alice as his \"work wife\" because Tina complains less and sends him on fewer errands.", "date": "2016-06-10" }, { "synopsis": "Tina, as Dilbert's work wife, has some criticism for him. He would be more attractive if he was taller.", "date": "2016-06-11" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert simplified the interface of a new gadget, as suggested by the Boss. One button will do eleven different functions.", "date": "2016-06-12" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert reports a lot of product complaints on Twitter. The Boss asks Dilbert to tell the trolls to shut up and leave them alone.", "date": "2016-06-13" }, { "synopsis": "Sales dropped to zero after the Boss offended customers on Twitter. He thought Twitter was a video game.", "date": "2016-06-14" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss interviews a social justice warrior. The warrior thinks the Boss is against him so equates the Boss to a racist.", "date": "2016-06-15" }, { "synopsis": "The social justice warrior asks Alice to dinner. She says no to him because she's into men instead.", "date": "2016-06-16" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert has not bungled his career so badly that he needs vacations to escape from it.", "date": "2016-06-17" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tells the Boss he does not want a vacation. He would be bored for a week and all his work would pile up while he was gone.", "date": "2016-06-18" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss leaves the robot in charge while he goes on vacation. Dilbert protests about a robot being in charge of humans.", "date": "2016-06-19" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss puts Wally in charge of the new artificial intelligence project. It has no budget and no hope of success so Wally is perfect.", "date": "2016-06-20" }, { "synopsis": "Wally shows his minimum viable product for his artificial intelligence project. It's a block of wood.", "date": "2016-06-21" }, { "synopsis": "Wally added human intelligence to his AI device, then human emotions.", "date": "2016-06-22" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO wants to ask Wally's artificial intelligence device a question. Wally says it's in a bad mood.", "date": "2016-06-23" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert looks at Wally's artificial intelligence device, a block of wood.", "date": "2016-06-24" }, { "synopsis": "The Nobel Peace Prize committee nominates Wally's block of wood for a prize. The block is in a bad mood and is not talking.", "date": "2016-06-25" }, { "synopsis": "Wally's long-term goal is death. He will come out a winner for succeeding. Dilbert wants to upload his mind.", "date": "2016-06-26" }, { "synopsis": "Wally says other people are the biggest risk to a person's happiness. They are either trying to make you work or complaining.", "date": "2016-06-27" }, { "synopsis": "Avoid listening to others by doing all the talking yourself, or be too busy to listen.", "date": "2016-06-28" }, { "synopsis": "Wally will work from home. His chatbot will answer all emails and text messages.", "date": "2016-06-29" }, { "synopsis": "Wally's emails make no sense. He is using a chatbot to provide useless replies.", "date": "2016-06-30" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert accuses Wally of creating a bot to answer his emails with unless nonsense. But he can't prove it because Wally has always answered his emails like that.", "date": "2016-07-01" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's mom asks Dilbert to stop whatever he's doing with his fitbit. She's been monitoring it.", "date": "2016-07-02" }, { "synopsis": "Tina is late for work again because traffic is terrible. Dilbert suggests leaving for work earlier but then she couldn't stay up watching Netflix.", "date": "2016-07-03" }, { "synopsis": "Asok thinks Dilbert has a cool selfie drone. It's actually Dilbert's mom spying on him.", "date": "2016-07-04" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says Wally has accomplished nothing this month. Wally says he's waiting for people to get back to him and it's the Boss's responsibility to ensure other people do their jobs.", "date": "2016-07-05" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert why he didn't respond to a text last night. Dilbert has no social life and isn't dead so the Boss owns him.", "date": "2016-07-06" }, { "synopsis": "Ted is wearing an eyepatch because he took one in the eye when walking past a ping-pong table. Then a pregnant fly goes up his nose.", "date": "2016-07-07" }, { "synopsis": "Ted is on extended disability because a fly went up his nose and laid eggs.", "date": "2016-07-08" }, { "synopsis": "Carol circulates a get well card for Ted after a fly laid eggs in his brain.", "date": "2016-07-09" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert says he has too much work and is stressed out by it. The Boss suggests writing down what is good. That's more work for Dilbert.", "date": "2016-07-10" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says they need to disrupt the industry, but check with him before doing anything.", "date": "2016-07-11" }, { "synopsis": "The employees aren't happy when they're told to act like entrepreneurs. They'd rather compare their careers to people in other cubicles.", "date": "2016-07-12" }, { "synopsis": "Alice says if Alan does what she wants, she will nominate Alan for employee of the year. If not, Alice will spread terrible rumours about Alan.", "date": "2016-07-13" }, { "synopsis": "Everything went wrong for Alan this week. All kinds of problems. Dilbert doesn't want to listen.", "date": "2016-07-14" }, { "synopsis": "A woman checks her phone while walking with Dilbert. She enjoys checking her phone more than talking to him.", "date": "2016-07-15" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert starts talking about the weather to Alice. She gets more entertainment from her phone than talking with him.", "date": "2016-07-16" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert loves being able to look up everything on the Internet. He finds a YouTube video to show him how to use a new app.", "date": "2016-07-17" }, { "synopsis": "Wally give the Boss new virtual reality goggles. The Boss needs to wear them all day to upgrade the experience of the real world.", "date": "2016-07-18" }, { "synopsis": "Wally convinced the Boss to wear virtual reality goggles all day. The Boss is looking at a plant and thinks it is Wally working very hard.", "date": "2016-07-19" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert finally figured out how to put everything the Boss wanted on one slide. Now the Boss wants more, but still keep just one slide.", "date": "2016-07-20" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss thinks another person is very stupid. Dilbert suggests the Boss is not smart enough to understand the other person's point.", "date": "2016-07-21" }, { "synopsis": "This week, Alice designed and built a prototype that can turn any kind of garbage into fuel. Wally sent out some emails, but no one answered.", "date": "2016-07-22" }, { "synopsis": "Asok has no plans for the weekend because he's an introvert. He will be lonely and despair and jealous of people with substance abuse problems.", "date": "2016-07-23" }, { "synopsis": "The company's goal is to make the world a better place. And also to destroy the competition.", "date": "2016-07-24" }, { "synopsis": "Wally asks if the company has bereavement leave because he has lots of cousins who don't take care of themselves.", "date": "2016-07-25" }, { "synopsis": "Wally wants leave because his cousin died. Catbert says cousins don't count unless Wally married one.", "date": "2016-07-26" }, { "synopsis": "The biggest obstacle to success on Dilbert's project is the Boss. It's always the Boss.", "date": "2016-07-27" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert gives the Boss a dashboard to the current status of all their projects. The Boss never needs to ask for status updates.", "date": "2016-07-28" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss notices the project status dashboard never changes. He suspects it is a static image.", "date": "2016-07-29" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants to ask Wally to write some software. But he can't find Wally since Wally took the Agile programming class.", "date": "2016-07-30" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert gives the Boss a breakdown of his time for a month. Useless meetings, co-workers complaining, resending files, false rumours, and wrong projects.", "date": "2016-07-31" }, { "synopsis": "The company's new phone is extra brittle and has a sleek, slippery case. Customers will either hide it with an ugly case or replace the phone three times a year.", "date": "2016-08-01" }, { "synopsis": "Design psychology will be used in the company's apps to make them more addictive. That will turn people into upgrading zombies.", "date": "2016-08-02" }, { "synopsis": "A woman says she's looking for a man who meets her 27 criteria for a relationship. Dilbert is looking for a woman who doesn't have 27 criteria.", "date": "2016-08-03" }, { "synopsis": "The government asked the company to design a system to prevent drone attacks on the homeland.", "date": "2016-08-04" }, { "synopsis": "The drone defence shield is coming along. There's a risk it will kill every bird in the sky on the first day.", "date": "2016-08-05" }, { "synopsis": "The company is testing the drone defence shield. The Audubon Society has a problem with the dead birds.", "date": "2016-08-06" }, { "synopsis": "Asok wants a job he can enjoy. Dilbert says work entails companies paying employees to do work that is unpleasant.", "date": "2016-08-07" }, { "synopsis": "The engineers create a nickname for the Boss based on the work of Stephen Hawking. He gets named \"The Black Hole.\"", "date": "2016-08-08" }, { "synopsis": "Alice is always angry because of unrealistic expectations. Wally is never disappointed because he expects people to be ignorant and useless.", "date": "2016-08-09" }, { "synopsis": "A coworker wants data by Friday. Wally says \"God helps people who help themselves.\"", "date": "2016-08-10" }, { "synopsis": "Wally says the company should have a private lactation room. He really wants a man cave at the office.", "date": "2016-08-11" }, { "synopsis": "Wally turns the office lactation room into a man cave.", "date": "2016-08-12" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says someone turned the lactation room into a man cave. It has a recliner, a TV, and a coffee maker.", "date": "2016-08-13" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert is stressed out while Wally is stress-free. Wally says the financial reward for doing some work is identical to that for doing no work.", "date": "2016-08-14" }, { "synopsis": "Asok is overworked because he doesn't know how to set priorities. Alice suggests ranking tasks by how much he hates the people who asked for them.", "date": "2016-08-15" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss bought new software for their network. The vendor helped with the technical issues.", "date": "2016-08-16" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to get all the cost savings the new vendor promised with the new software.", "date": "2016-08-17" }, { "synopsis": "Wally's philosophy on life is to make the world a better place. Pay it forward? Wally is at the end of that sequence of events.", "date": "2016-08-18" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss didn't create a meeting agenda so he freestyles with jargon. Then he asks the engineers to do something.", "date": "2016-08-19" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert goes to work every day yet the world is still a boiling cesspool of terribleness. It's like Dilbert is not even trying.", "date": "2016-08-20" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants every employee to understand the company's income statement. So he goes over the high points in useless jargon.", "date": "2016-08-21" }, { "synopsis": "Wally gets sent home for inappropriate office attire. Phase two of his plan involves a nap at home.", "date": "2016-08-22" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert asks Wally to self-identify as a woman so the company can be supportive and win awards for being a great place to work.", "date": "2016-08-23" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to build a particle accelerator in the basement. He'll use cardboard to keep the expenses down.", "date": "2016-08-24" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert announces a new fundamental particle he names Dogbertium. One of its properties is it only exists when people don't ask too many questions.", "date": "2016-08-25" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert submitted a paper about his discovery of a new particle called Dogbertium. The peer reviewers are easy to bribe.", "date": "2016-08-26" }, { "synopsis": "Phil, the prince of insufficient light, accuses Alice of using her speaker phone in a cubicle environment. Phil does it too.", "date": "2016-08-27" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert's new business is selling new clothes for ghosts. People pay when they are alive and Dogbert provides ghost clothes after death.", "date": "2016-08-28" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert recommends firing an employee so there is more money for himself. The final cheque will be withheld until the fired guy creates all of Dogbert's PowerPoint slides.", "date": "2016-08-29" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert recommends doing all the things the employees have been telling the Boss to do.", "date": "2016-08-30" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss said Dilbert never got back to him. Dilbert said he spent three hours on a email containing all the details.", "date": "2016-08-31" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss didn't read Dilbert's long email and wants a summary. Dilbert sent a long email because a summary would be misleading.", "date": "2016-09-01" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wonders why Dilbert didn't talk with the Boss before making the decision. Dilbert left a voicemail, an email and a text message.", "date": "2016-09-02" }, { "synopsis": "Alice wants to have learned about this sooner. Dilbert brings up Zeno's Paradox, which states there's always a sooner time than the one picked.", "date": "2016-09-03" }, { "synopsis": "Wally wants to know if the user specifications are complete. If there are any changes afterwards, he can use it as an excuse as to why the project is late.", "date": "2016-09-04" }, { "synopsis": "The company is getting into the electric car business because it sounds impressive and it would take years before anyone figures out they did it wrong.", "date": "2016-09-05" }, { "synopsis": "The first meeting for the electric car project kicks off. How hard can it be?", "date": "2016-09-06" }, { "synopsis": "The executive team didn't know what to do about weak sales so they voted themselves a raise instead.", "date": "2016-09-07" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert needs to get his budget approved by all of the department heads. A re-org means approval must come from incoming and outgoing managers.", "date": "2016-09-08" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert can't get approval from the head of marketing because the incoming manager has yet to be named.", "date": "2016-09-09" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert says Dilbert forged the signature for the head of marketing. That meant the project finished on time and under budget.", "date": "2016-09-10" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert brings a date to a restaurant that required six months to get a reservation. The food is amazing. She, however, only eats cucumbers after five o'clock.", "date": "2016-09-11" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss has a choice, a detailed analysis he won't understand, or a summary that is dangerously misleading.", "date": "2016-09-12" }, { "synopsis": "Wally asks the Boss for permission to work smarter, not harder.", "date": "2016-09-13" }, { "synopsis": "It's only work if you'd rather be doing something else. Tina wants to be doing anything else.", "date": "2016-09-14" }, { "synopsis": "Tina hates her job but is looking forward to her afterlife. Her soul will live forever.", "date": "2016-09-15" }, { "synopsis": "Alan from the quality assurance department introduces himself. He says they have plenty of quality.", "date": "2016-09-16" }, { "synopsis": "All Alan from Quality Assurance does is assure people the company has quality. He doesn't like to tell people how to do their jobs.", "date": "2016-09-17" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO says none of the company will lose their jobs to robots except for him. He'll be replaced next week. The CEO will retire with an enormous severance package and the robot taking his place will work all the employees to death.", "date": "2016-09-18" }, { "synopsis": "Wally suggests moving the agile programmers to a different building because it has poor earthquake protection. But that's OK because they're agile and can jump out of the way.", "date": "2016-09-19" }, { "synopsis": "Wally's new cubicle is closest to the office thermostat. Now he is the ruler of the indoor climate.", "date": "2016-09-20" }, { "synopsis": "Wally tries to bargain with Tina. He will set the office thermostat to her liking if she warns him whenever the Boss is on the move.", "date": "2016-09-21" }, { "synopsis": "Wally's world view has expanded greatly since getting a cubicle near a window. He can see the alley in front of the parking garage.", "date": "2016-09-22" }, { "synopsis": "Alice loves travelling. Wally doesn't need to travel as he can see the world between the office and the parking garage.", "date": "2016-09-23" }, { "synopsis": "Wally is better than Tina because he has a window cubicle. Exposure to new stimuli create useful pathways and connections.", "date": "2016-09-24" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert wants mentoring from the Boss. The Boss doesn't want Dilbert to be a credible threat for his job. Dilbert is more of an adversary than a subordinate so the Boss withholds information vital for Dilbert to do his job.", "date": "2016-09-25" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO hurts when he sits on his wallet for too long. Asok risked an honour killing to pay his rent.", "date": "2016-09-26" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert analyses the readings from the Boss's fitness band. The Boss makes terrible decisions when he's hungry, tired or stressed.", "date": "2016-09-27" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert arranges to meet in person via his laptop. Each wants the other person to travel to their own office to save time.", "date": "2016-09-28" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker tries to bribe Wally to do his job properly. Wally asks if he can still do his usual total lack of effort.", "date": "2016-09-29" }, { "synopsis": "Wally has been accepting bribes from co-workers to do his job. They are optimistic but he's not sure why as he didn't listen to them.", "date": "2016-09-30" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Wally if he is accepting bribes and helping coworkers. Wally says he's not helping coworkers.", "date": "2016-10-01" }, { "synopsis": "Ted asks the boss for investment advice. The Boss says to buy penny stocks because they only cost a penny.", "date": "2016-10-02" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says they need to cut costs. Dilbert recommends eliminating Ted's job.", "date": "2016-10-03" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert is creating a reality show about people locked in with only one outlet and they must compete to charge their phones.", "date": "2016-10-04" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss ranks everyone based on how many mistakes they make. Wally comes first even though he does no work.", "date": "2016-10-05" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss has to rank his employees and fire whoever is lowest. He puts Tina at the bottom because he can't afford to lose any engineers.", "date": "2016-10-06" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO asks the Boss to fire the 10% bottom-ranked employees. The Boss asks if that would just put other people in the bottom 10%.", "date": "2016-10-07" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert he's fired because he needs to fore the bottom ranked people. Dilbert was near the top before the Boss fired everyone below him.", "date": "2016-10-08" }, { "synopsis": "Everyone but Ted shows up for a project meeting. If they proceed without him they will be under-informed. If they reschedule they will miss project deadlines.", "date": "2016-10-09" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO announces the company is acquiring the Gawful media company, a company so bad it has a crime bill named after it.", "date": "2016-10-10" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO says he talked the board into buying a tainted company. Imagine Hitler's unwashed socks and then it gets worse.", "date": "2016-10-11" }, { "synopsis": "The company's new acquisition is making them look so bad, people on the Internet are demanding the CEO drink poison then apologises while he dies.", "date": "2016-10-12" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss calls Alice his work wife. Alice is creeped out by that.", "date": "2016-10-13" }, { "synopsis": "Since Alice doesn't want to be the Boss's work wife, he asks Tina. Tina wants to insult the Boss in front of others.", "date": "2016-10-14" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO said sales is at fault for low revenue. The CIA blames marketing? Marketing blames engineering.", "date": "2016-10-15" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks about Dilbert's employee engagement. Dilbert will say he's happy as long as the Boss pretends to believe him.", "date": "2016-10-16" }, { "synopsis": "The web developer quit a week before completion so the Boss hires a new one. The Boss still expects the project to finish on time.", "date": "2016-10-17" }, { "synopsis": "The new web developer says the project will finish on time as long as there are no changes.", "date": "2016-10-18" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss can't manage the Web developer. Does it really take nine months to change the font on the home page?", "date": "2016-10-19" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss in unsure how to interpret software writing estimates. Dilbert suggests taking the longest one and multiplying by three, based on his experience.", "date": "2016-10-20" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert can't penetrate Alice's phone induced zombie state so he sends her a text.", "date": "2016-10-21" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss may have sent a URL to Dilbert but can't remember which email or text or whatsapp.", "date": "2016-10-22" }, { "synopsis": "Ted sent some questions to Dilbert that were in a disorganised mess. Dilbert didn't respond.", "date": "2016-10-23" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants Dilbert to go to a training class right now. Dilbert asks if it's safe to miss the assignment's deadlines.", "date": "2016-10-24" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert was in a traffic accident because he stayed up all night to finish the project so he could attend the safety training.", "date": "2016-10-25" }, { "synopsis": "The engineers blame customers for not telling them what they want. Marketing blames engineering for making the wrong products.", "date": "2016-10-26" }, { "synopsis": "Alice always accepts more work while Wally accepts none. Wally is happier.", "date": "2016-10-27" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's date compares him to an Uber driver. If only he would talk less, he'd be perfect.", "date": "2016-10-28" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert realises he's in the wrong meeting and tries to sneak out by sinking below the table.", "date": "2016-10-29" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks for the worst case scenario. Dilbert says enemy agents could take over the server and install a virus that jumps to people and wipes out the human race.", "date": "2016-10-30" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says he will approve Dilbert's proposal if Dilbert gets buy in from the rest of the department. Dilbert wonders what value the Boss is adding?", "date": "2016-10-31" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert and Alice make a deal. She supports his idea now and he will support her idea later.", "date": "2016-11-01" }, { "synopsis": "Topper outdoes Dilbert again by signing his full name to a document while Dilbert signs only his first name.", "date": "2016-11-02" }, { "synopsis": "Wally is willing to buy in to Dilbert's document as long as he doesn't have to read it.", "date": "2016-11-03" }, { "synopsis": "Asok desperately wants to give his buy in on Dilbert's document even though he's not important.", "date": "2016-11-04" }, { "synopsis": "Tina will buy in on Dilbert's project in exchange for cash. She's a better negotiator than Ted. ", "date": "2016-11-05" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert presents his idea for a new product and then asks if there are any ignorant questions. A nay sayer shoots everything down.", "date": "2016-11-06" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert shows off his new drone to help people act morally. It follows a person around and reminds them to not be a jerk.", "date": "2016-11-07" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert built an artificial soul and installed it in a drone. When he dies, the drone will upload his soul to the cloud so he can live on.", "date": "2016-11-08" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert brings his drone containing his artificial soul to a staff meeting. It is promptly destroyed by status updates.", "date": "2016-11-09" }, { "synopsis": "A new hire constantly talks about how much better it was at his old company. That's why they fired him.", "date": "2016-11-10" }, { "synopsis": "A new hire asks Dilbert if he wants to know how they did it at his old company. Nothing would interest Dilbert less.", "date": "2016-11-11" }, { "synopsis": "Instead of hearing how they did it at a new hire's old company, the Boss said they bought the company, fired the employees and sold the assets.", "date": "2016-11-12" }, { "synopsis": "Tina has an idea for an app and wants Dilbert to write it. She's done all the hard work.", "date": "2016-11-13" }, { "synopsis": "Wally can't do an urgent task because he's on a deadline for the Boss. He also can't do the deadline for the Boss because he has an urgent task.", "date": "2016-11-14" }, { "synopsis": "Alice has disheveled hair from the humidity. Dilbert can't stop staring.", "date": "2016-11-15" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO announces a weight-loss competition, with the winner getting an extra week of paid vacation. The engineers bulk up before the competition starts.", "date": "2016-11-16" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss does not have time to attend a leadership class so he wants his team all to attend followship classes.", "date": "2016-11-17" }, { "synopsis": "Wally wants to arrive at work early and leave early. He starts at an hour and works toward eight hours.", "date": "2016-11-18" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss has to fire Ted because Ted offended the janitor. The Boss doesn't know how as the janitor has a thick accent.", "date": "2016-11-19" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert wants a capital allocation form but doesn't have the right form to request one.", "date": "2016-11-20" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to fly business class on his 17 hour flight to Elbonia. The Boss says no as he'll lose his bonus if he goes over budget.", "date": "2016-11-21" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert rents a car. The agent warns him it might take a long time. Twenty minutes later, Dilbert explodes from frustration.", "date": "2016-11-22" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to cancel the hotel's turn down service because he wants privacy. The front desk says they'll do it anyway. And they'll move his stuff so he can't find it.", "date": "2016-11-23" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tells the Boss he had food poisoning on his business trip to Elbonia. The Boss asks if it's good to be back. Dilbert says it's close.", "date": "2016-11-24" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tells Wally about taking off his belt at airport security. His pants fell down and someone took a video and it went viral.", "date": "2016-11-25" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO sees Dilbert naked on Elbonian television. One of their subsidiaries built the live feed airport channel.", "date": "2016-11-26" }, { "synopsis": "A project manager asks Wally for an estimate for his work. Wally says that depends on many things, none of them he can predict.", "date": "2016-11-27" }, { "synopsis": "A coworker asks Alice for an analysis by Tuesday. She says OK if she does it poorly. Or she can do a good job and his project will miss its deadline.", "date": "2016-11-28" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to escalate a problem to the Boss but the Boss refuses saying he hates hard problems.", "date": "2016-11-29" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to research a topic. Dilbert fears it will be so boring, his brain will escape via his ear hole.", "date": "2016-11-30" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert is brain-trapping. He's trying to keep his brain from escaping while doing a boring task.", "date": "2016-12-01" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert requests a leave of absence to recover from a boredom-related task. His brain tried to escape through his lower gastrointestinal tract.", "date": "2016-12-02" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss acts interested in Dilbert's personal life so Dilbert's productivity will improve.", "date": "2016-12-03" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert offers training on how to speak with an accent. It's much easier than actually learning a new language.", "date": "2016-12-04" }, { "synopsis": "The company's batteries in mobile devices keep exploding. The Boss wants to park a truck full outside their competitor's headquarters.", "date": "2016-12-05" }, { "synopsis": "Ted's performance review earned him a new cell phone. It's one of the models where the battery may explode.", "date": "2016-12-06" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss hires Dogbert to help with their exploding phone problem. The decide to convince people that having one ear is cool.", "date": "2016-12-07" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO is under pressure from the press to resign over the exploding phones. So he sent them all a phone and told them it was a new model.", "date": "2016-12-08" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert recommends a celebrity endorsement to regain public trust after the exploding phones. Maybe a famous cartoonist.", "date": "2016-12-09" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss interviews a cartoonist to be a celebrity endorser for their exploding phone. His budget is $47.", "date": "2016-12-10" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to be on a phone call with Elbonia at 6 AM. Dilbert explains why the is a bad thing all around but the Boss still wants him to.", "date": "2016-12-11" }, { "synopsis": "The cartoonist hired to endorse the company's exploding phone did something embarrassing on social media. The board voted to kill the cartoonist.", "date": "2016-12-12" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Asok if the company spokesperson qualifies for an honour-killing because of the things he said on social media. Asok calls the Boss racist.", "date": "2016-12-13" }, { "synopsis": "Asok killed the wrong cartoonist.", "date": "2016-12-14" }, { "synopsis": "Asok didn't kill the creator of Garfield, just his body double. Asok thinks he has the worst job. Dilbert thinks that's the body double.", "date": "2016-12-15" }, { "synopsis": "Asok is arrested for killing the body double of Jim Davis, a famous cartoonist.", "date": "2016-12-16" }, { "synopsis": "Alice meets Asok and is confused why he's there as he was arrested for killing a cartoonist's double. The police had arrested Asok's double instead.", "date": "2016-12-17" }, { "synopsis": "Wally gives a note from his doctor to the Boss. It says Wally is too sensitive to accept criticism. The Boss thinks the note is in Wally's handwriting.", "date": "2016-12-18" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO will soon ask if the software is finished. The Boss and Dilbert compare notes on how to best lie to him.", "date": "2016-12-19" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO asks if the software is finished. Dilbert lies and says yes. The CEO is satisfied with that.", "date": "2016-12-20" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert if he can finish by Friday. He won't take no for an answer so Dilbert says yes.", "date": "2016-12-21" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert read the Boss's email about destroying the company. It was actually the Boss's plan for the coming year.", "date": "2016-12-22" }, { "synopsis": "Carol sends a text to the Boss while he's driving and calls it urgent so he's forced to respond. She's trying to kill him.", "date": "2016-12-23" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wrecked his car for the third time when responding to Carol's urgent-sounding text. He thinks she's trying to kill him.", "date": "2016-12-24" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Wally to train the new hire. Wally baffles him with bullshit until the new hire asks for someone else to train him.", "date": "2016-12-25" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks for volunteers to go to Mars in the new spaceship they are building. Dilbert suggests Ted as he is a terrible engineer.", "date": "2016-12-26" }, { "synopsis": "Ted asks for suggested names for the spaceship he is designing. The engineers suggest \"death tube\" and \"space debris\" because they think the spaceship will explode.", "date": "2016-12-27" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells the CEO he picked the worst employees to crew their spaceship just in case it explodes. There's no way to lose.", "date": "2016-12-28" }, { "synopsis": "The company's spaceship to Mars is launched, the Boss announces. There's only enough oxygen for three-quarters of the trip there though.", "date": "2016-12-29" }, { "synopsis": "The crew of their first spaceship suffocated on the launchpad, the Boss reports. He didn't approve the repair to the oxygen generator.", "date": "2016-12-30" }, { "synopsis": "Ted's widow wants his ashes spread around the office. Wally offers to do it even though he didn't like Ted.", "date": "2016-12-31" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss complains to Catbert that Dilbert is too happy. They talk about the sweet spot between paid enough and suicidal.", "date": "2017-01-01" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert if the software is finished yet. Dilbert says he is getting set up to begin programming.", "date": "2017-01-02" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert if the software is finished yet. Dilbert says he is still cleaning up after the last programmer.", "date": "2017-01-03" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants Dilbert to take on an additional programming project. Dilbert says he will have trouble switching his brain between the two programming projects.", "date": "2017-01-04" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants to speak with Dilbert for a minute but Dilbert says it will take too long to get back into the coding zone afterwards.", "date": "2017-01-05" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss complains to Dilbert about the software not being finished. Dilbert says the Boss made too many interruptions and mad the project a nightmare.", "date": "2017-01-06" }, { "synopsis": "Alice presents her brilliant idea to the Boss. He thought the same thing just before she told him about it.", "date": "2017-01-07" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert suggests moving a button so more people will see it. A coworker says that's crazy and Dilbert is blind and stupid for suggesting it.", "date": "2017-01-08" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert why the project is taking so long. Dilbert says it only seems long because the Boss doesn't know how to do anything.", "date": "2017-01-09" }, { "synopsis": "Ted is doing a bad job and Catbert recommends the Boss speak to him. It doesn't matter about what as listening to the Boss will make anyone want to quit.", "date": "2017-01-10" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells Ted he will begin coaching Ted because Ted hasn't been performing well. Ted instantly quits.", "date": "2017-01-11" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Alice if she wants coaching and she says yes. She wants someone who can do her job better than her. The Boss offers to give her some of his wisdom.", "date": "2017-01-12" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert complains to the Boss he is paid less than the new hire. The Boss says Dilbert is a bad negotiator.", "date": "2017-01-13" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert is paid less than the new hire, he tells Dogbert. It's not fair. Dogbert says fairness is for idiots and kids.", "date": "2017-01-14" }, { "synopsis": "To cut the budget Dilbert needs to convince their vendors to cut prices. However he's not a negotiator so he is doomed to failure.", "date": "2017-01-15" }, { "synopsis": "Would Dilbert prefer to listen to the Boss talk about his weekend or eat garage? Depends on the garbage.", "date": "2017-01-16" }, { "synopsis": "Elbonians are leaping from 5he roof to their death at the company's manufacturing plant. However it's only two stories tall.", "date": "2017-01-17" }, { "synopsis": "Wally tells Asok it's easier to create the illusion of work than to do actual work. That's why he carries the red file.", "date": "2017-01-18" }, { "synopsis": "Wally would love to help on a project but he's busy on the red file. The project manager can't tell if it's real or fake.", "date": "2017-01-19" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks wally about his red file project. Wally says the Boss assigned a secret project to him but may have forgotten because of dementia.", "date": "2017-01-20" }, { "synopsis": "Wally tells the Boss he made lots of progress on the red file project. The Boss can't remember what that project is but Wally won't tell him.", "date": "2017-01-21" }, { "synopsis": "Bad analogy guy misinterprets everything Dilbert says about rewriting part of the software. It's not like throwing the baby out with the bathwater, closing the barn door after the horse has gone or anything like Hitler.", "date": "2017-01-22" }, { "synopsis": "Wally recommends buying the coffee supplier for company's biggest competitor. They can secretly replace coffee with decaf to make them suffer a productivity loss.", "date": "2017-01-23" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to trust him. Dilbert won't do that after seeing the Boss's browser history.", "date": "2017-01-24" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss retweeted some racist comments about Elbonians evolving from pandas less than a hundred years ago.", "date": "2017-01-25" }, { "synopsis": "To counteract a racist tweet, the Boss sends some sexist ones.", "date": "2017-01-26" }, { "synopsis": "The engineers confront the Boss about his tweeting fake news. Because of that, the average IQ in the country plunged seven points.", "date": "2017-01-27" }, { "synopsis": "Wally is finished writing the software but it still has bugs. That's no different than not being done.", "note": "Wally's and the Boss's shirt colours changes between panels one and three.", "date": "2017-01-28" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asked Ted to tell everyone the new meeting time but Ted didn't. So the meeting is useless. Ted says that's how all meetings are.", "date": "2017-01-29" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss goes to a robotic hair transplant centre the same day the software is upgraded. Now the robot does not respect personal boundaries.", "date": "2017-01-30" }, { "synopsis": "The company replaced their lawyer with a robot. Now it produces gibberish. They're not sure this is acceptable.", "date": "2017-01-31" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the robot lawyer for comments on the contract. The robot responds with legal gibberish. Comments that make sense come from a more expensive robot.", "date": "2017-02-01" }, { "synopsis": "Wally does not open email because he'd see lots of urgent emails that would ruin his day.", "date": "2017-02-02" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks why they can't innovate as fast as the competition. Dilbert thinks it's because management is like squirrels living in an old tire.", "date": "2017-02-03" }, { "synopsis": "More pay or more days off, asks the Boss. The engineers all want more days off. The Boss thinks that's because they are overpaid.", "date": "2017-02-04" }, { "synopsis": "Is the estimate accurate asks the Boss. Yes says Dilbert because he can accurately predict the future.", "date": "2017-02-05" }, { "synopsis": "The next project will use agile methodology and one of the engineers will be designated scrumbag.", "date": "2017-02-06" }, { "synopsis": "Wally wants to sit at the stand up meeting. Dilbert says doing that would ruin the software.", "date": "2017-02-07" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks when is the team huddle. Dilbert won't tell him because it's his job to prevent interference with the team.", "date": "2017-02-08" }, { "synopsis": "As leader for the agile team, Dilbert must remove distractions. He spreads rumours that everyone has died but the Boss still wants to find them.", "date": "2017-02-09" }, { "synopsis": "As scrum master, Dilbert must remove distractions from Alice. She she asks him to get out of her cubicle.", "date": "2017-02-10" }, { "synopsis": "Asking when the software will be completed is like asking how long it takes for a salamander to evolve into a horse, Dilbert tells the Boss.", "date": "2017-02-11" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss left a list of everyone's salary on the photocopier. Heads exploded when the engineers found out Wally is the highest-paid.", "date": "2017-02-12" }, { "synopsis": "The only plan that will work doesn't look good. Dilbert suggests changing it to one that won't work but looks better. The Boss likes that.", "date": "2017-02-13" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells the CEO about Dilbert's proposal. A plan that looks good but will fail. The CEO thinks Dilbert has management potential.", "date": "2017-02-14" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert offends a coworker by calling him a resource. It's another sign of Dilbert's management potential.", "date": "2017-02-15" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells Dilbert the CEO thinks Dilbert has management potential. Dilbert thinks it's an insult and calls the CEO a heartless monster.", "date": "2017-02-16" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO puts Dilbert on the management fast track. The Boss doesn't know why the CEO hates Dilbert enough to do that.", "date": "2017-02-17" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for advice on how to avoid becoming management. Wally suggests telling the Boss that Dilbert is after his job.", "date": "2017-02-18" }, { "synopsis": "Alice turns meeting room into her office. Dilbert wants to hold a meeting but can't get rid of her.", "date": "2017-02-19" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss assigns the best engineers to the new application. Wally is excited to be put in charge of the legacy app.", "date": "2017-02-20" }, { "synopsis": "A client asks for changes to the legacy app while they're waiting for the new app to come online. Wally says it's his job to make sure there are no changes in the legacy app.", "date": "2017-02-21" }, { "synopsis": "A coworker asks Wally how long to add a feature to the legacy system. He says one month longer than the system's expected lifetime.", "date": "2017-02-22" }, { "synopsis": "Alice asks Wally if he minds working on the legacy system while the rest are working on interesting new things. Wally says he gets to leave at 4 pm every day.", "date": "2017-02-23" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says Wally doesn't take pride in his work. Wally says that's like taking pride in being a crime victim.", "date": "2017-02-24" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants to set goals for Wally. But Wally's only goal is to prevent an upgrade to the legacy application.", "date": "2017-02-25" }, { "synopsis": "Asok needs a raise because he can't afford an apartment or a roommate. He's living on a baby changing table in a public washroom.", "date": "2017-02-26" }, { "synopsis": "Tina can't work with Wally because of his political views. He makes her too sad and angry to work.", "date": "2017-02-27" }, { "synopsis": "Wally's political opinions are making his coworkers uncomfortable, the Boss tells him. Just like Gandhi, Wally says.", "date": "2017-02-28" }, { "synopsis": "Wally compares himself to Gandhi. They're both short, bald guys who want self-governance for India.", "date": "2017-03-01" }, { "synopsis": "Asok is offended by Wally comparing himself to Gandhi. Asok wants to punch Wally but Wally suggests fasting instead.", "date": "2017-03-02" }, { "synopsis": "Wally has offended every employee in the past week. Everyone except the Boss because he's not a sensitive idiot.", "date": "2017-03-03" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss can't assign Wally to a project team because everyone hates him for his political opinions. They've gotten used to him for his uselessness.", "date": "2017-03-04" }, { "synopsis": "As Dilbert is leaving for the day, a coworker asks him to look at a crashing prototype. It will only take ten minutes, she says.", "date": "2017-03-05" }, { "synopsis": "The company now has a politeness policy. You can't walk away from someone if they're talking.", "date": "2017-03-06" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert has to listen to Tina talk about her health problems for four hours because the company says it's rude to walk away.", "date": "2017-03-07" }, { "synopsis": "The company's politeness policy forbids Dilbert from giving an honest opinion of a coworker's idea so he talks about an unrelated topic - a manure fire at a pig farm.", "date": "2017-03-08" }, { "synopsis": "Alice is using her phone while Dilbert is talking with her. He says that's against the new company politeness policy.", "date": "2017-03-09" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert leads a seminar on politeness where he teaches people how to sacrifice productivity and happiness for corporate nonsense.", "date": "2017-03-10" }, { "synopsis": "At his politeness seminar Dogbert says nobody should offend sensitive idiots. A sensitive idiot in the audience says that offends him. Dogbert is OK with that.", "date": "2017-03-11" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asked a coworker to complete a wireframe but didn't follow up. So the coworker assumed Dilbert didn't want it anymore and didn't work on it.", "date": "2017-03-12" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss won't approve Dilbert's vacation request because Dilbert hasn't completed the mandatory fax safety class. Is that even a real company policy?", "date": "2017-03-13" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert wants an exception from the policy so he can take vacation without having to take a fax safety course that no longer exists.", "date": "2017-03-14" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert will use his vacation to catch up on unfinished work without interruptions. Tina says that's not much of a vacation.", "date": "2017-03-15" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's vacation was tragic. He stayed home, let his personal hygiene deteriorate, while his workload piled up.", "date": "2017-03-16" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert was on vacation for a week and the Boss transfers the project budget to another project.", "date": "2017-03-17" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss plays devil's advocate in a meeting. Literally.", "date": "2017-03-18" }, { "synopsis": "Only Amy knows the URL for the test site but she mumbles so much no one can understand her. And she always answers the wrong questions in email.", "date": "2017-03-19" }, { "synopsis": "Wally complains about a hot phone charger and cold coffee so Dilbert suggests a phone charger that warms coffee.", "date": "2017-03-20" }, { "synopsis": "Wally shows his invention, the phone charger that keeps coffee warm, to the CEO. The CEO is not impressed at first.", "date": "2017-03-21" }, { "synopsis": "Wally will likely get employee of the year with his phone charger coffee warmer invention.", "date": "2017-03-22" }, { "synopsis": "Wally's invention is the best seller in the company's history. So Wally is promoted to a leadership position.", "date": "2017-03-23" }, { "synopsis": "Wally's promotion to management is exactly what he wants. He gets to tell others to work hard but doesn't have to do anything himself.", "date": "2017-03-24" }, { "synopsis": "Wally got demoted back to engineering. All his ideas were about coffee.", "date": "2017-03-25" }, { "synopsis": "A coworker can't help Dilbert with what he want but loves to demo something else. Dilbert is too polite to walk away.", "date": "2017-03-26" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's date asks him if he is ambitious. Dilbert says he is not. After all, he settled for her.", "date": "2017-03-27" }, { "synopsis": "Wally doesn't want more out of life because he's happy with what he has. Only losers always want more.", "date": "2017-03-28" }, { "synopsis": "A coworker wants Wally to deliver by end of day. Wally wants to wait until the final specs are ready. Is he lazy or wise?", "date": "2017-03-29" }, { "synopsis": "Wally hasn't started the prototype because he has questions. He hasn't asked questions of the owner because they haven't met. Now he's forgotten the questions.", "date": "2017-03-30" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants Dilbert to attend a meeting in his place. The Boss agreed to go before realising it would be a waste of time.", "date": "2017-03-31" }, { "synopsis": "Alice spent the last week fixing a critical bug but didn't tell the Boss. It was like she didn't exist.", "date": "2017-04-01" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert didn't read an email because it was too long. The sender doesn't have time to make it shorter so it was wasted effort.", "date": "2017-04-02" }, { "synopsis": "Alice asks Catbert if she's allowed to date coworkers. Catbert says no but the robot is not considered a coworker.", "date": "2017-04-03" }, { "synopsis": "Alice changes the robot's programming to make him the perfect boyfriend. The robot initially doesn't like it but changes his mind.", "date": "2017-04-04" }, { "synopsis": "Alice updates the robot's programming to make him a better listener.", "date": "2017-04-05" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert learns Alice is dating the office robot. Alice doesn't want Dilbert to judge her.", "date": "2017-04-06" }, { "synopsis": "Alice adds more code to the robot she's dating so he will consider marrying her and raising a family of cyborgs.", "date": "2017-04-07" }, { "synopsis": "Alice wants to break up with the robot because she met another robot. He takes the news surprisingly well.", "date": "2017-04-08" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks how's work. Dilbert describes how everything is very bad but the Boss doesn't listen.", "date": "2017-04-09" }, { "synopsis": "Carol asks Dilbert to help. Asok has entered the jargon matrix and spouts meaningless phrases.", "date": "2017-04-10" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert enters the jargon matrix to rescue Asok.", "date": "2017-04-11" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert enters the jargon matrix to rescue Asok. He tries to convince Asok nothing is real.", "date": "2017-04-12" }, { "synopsis": "Wally decides to move into a bathroom stall. It's simple logic when he discovers a meal delivery app.", "date": "2017-04-13" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert invents a 3D printer for any generic drug or simple medical device. The Boss passes because it won't make any money.", "date": "2017-04-14" }, { "synopsis": "Wally hasn't added the new feature because he had to fix a critical bug first.", "date": "2017-04-15" }, { "synopsis": "At a restaurant, Dilbert gets french fries but no salt. He doesn't think the waiter will bring the salt soon enough.", "date": "2017-04-16" }, { "synopsis": "Wally volunteers to work on the virtual reality headset. The Boss is suspicious of Wally volunteering.", "date": "2017-04-17" }, { "synopsis": "Wally created a virtual reality app that gives the impression the wearer is asleep. He demonstrates this to the CEO.", "date": "2017-04-18" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert wrote a virtual reality app that turns the office into a Lord of the Rings adventure. He spots an evil Orc.", "date": "2017-04-19" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants Dilbert to write a virtual reality app so the user is in a cubicle.", "date": "2017-04-20" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert wrote a virtual reality program for people to think they are in cubicles. He put the Boss' name as author because he expects angry mobs.", "date": "2017-04-21" }, { "synopsis": "The robot tries the VR headset. Dilbert is amazed.", "date": "2017-04-22" }, { "synopsis": "Total sales for the quarter were zero. The CEO had said the next version will be amazing, so nobody bought the current version.", "date": "2017-04-23" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tells an interviewee they are looking for people who fit their company culture. The candidate asks what's so great about the culture that it can't be improved.", "date": "2017-04-24" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says company culture is their greatest strength. The engineers want to know what is that culture.", "date": "2017-04-25" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells the employees the company culture is the best. The employees believe him because lying helps prevent conflict.", "date": "2017-04-26" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to ensure his project doesn't conflict with company culture. The Boss thinks company culture is something about honesty.", "date": "2017-04-27" }, { "synopsis": "Company culture is honesty, integrity, and return on investment. ROI is most important.", "date": "2017-04-28" }, { "synopsis": "Would Wally prefer the privacy of an office or open collaboration of cubicles? Wally says he'd get no work done in a cubicle.", "date": "2017-04-29" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert didn't get any work done this week because the large tech companies wouldn't let him. He got constant interruptions with messages and ads.", "date": "2017-04-30" }, { "synopsis": "Tina asks Wally to borrow his phone. He says sure but he's been using it for two hours in the mens room.", "date": "2017-05-01" }, { "synopsis": "Tina asks Dilbert to borrow his phone. He says no he doesn't7 like others to touch his phone or breathe on it.", "date": "2017-05-02" }, { "synopsis": "Tina doesn't know what to do without her phone. What if she's in a line? Dilbert suggests an invisible friend.", "date": "2017-05-03" }, { "synopsis": "Erik the new hire used to work for the CIA. Erik already knows Dilbert by having watched him for years.", "date": "2017-05-04" }, { "synopsis": "Wally asks Erik, former CIA programmer, if he kept his spy tools from that job. Erik is reluctant to answer.", "date": "2017-05-05" }, { "synopsis": "Erik missed the meeting. But he used his CIA tools to listen in even though the microphone didn't look active.", "date": "2017-05-06" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert needs to plan his route to the department meeting. He needs to avoid the talkers and the ones who always ask him to do stuff.", "date": "2017-05-07" }, { "synopsis": "The robot wants to quit. The Boss says he can't quit. The Boss just needs to push a button for the robot's head to explode.", "date": "2017-05-08" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss was attacked by the robot so he asks Dilbert to reprogram the robot. Dilbert makes the robot a better fighter.", "date": "2017-05-09" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to replace the robot's head. The robot is concerned about survival rates but Dilbert doesn't care.", "date": "2017-05-10" }, { "synopsis": "as he is about to get his head replaced, the robot wonders about the afterlife. Dilbert says it is an eternity of darkness.", "date": "2017-05-11" }, { "synopsis": "The new robot greets everyone then learns he is the old robot withe a new head and wiped memories. He calls everyone serial killers.", "date": "2017-05-12" }, { "synopsis": "The robot asks the Boss if he can pass the robot test. The Boss says he votes even though he doesn't understand the issues.", "date": "2017-05-13" }, { "synopsis": "A climate scientist explains the risk of climate change to the company. He can't handle simple questions from Dilbert.", "date": "2017-05-14" }, { "synopsis": "The robot thinks he will take Dilbert's job one day. Dilbert programmed the robot to self-destruct if that happens.", "date": "2017-05-15" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert programmed the robot to explode if it ever mocks Dilbert. The robot mocks Dilbert and explodes.", "date": "2017-05-16" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's flight is overbooked and he is selected for reaccomodation. He gets kicked off the plane.", "date": "2017-05-17" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the airline clerk why he was selected to be bumped from the full flight. He had the lowest-priced ticket.", "date": "2017-05-18" }, { "synopsis": "Asok thinks he did a great job on the design for Wally. Wally takes credit for Asok's work.", "date": "2017-05-19" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert worked all weekend to finish his project early. The Boss rewards him by assigning more work.", "date": "2017-05-20" }, { "synopsis": "Tina asks Dilbert for a ride to the airport on Saturday. Dilbert refers the question to Dogbert. Dogbert says no, as she doesn't qualify as a close enough friend.", "date": "2017-05-21" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Randy, one of the first humans with a microchip implant in his brain. Randy has to pause for a software update.", "date": "2017-05-22" }, { "synopsis": "Randy, with a microchip in his brain, thinks of normal humans like livestock.", "date": "2017-05-23" }, { "synopsis": "Randy is one of the first humans with a microchip implanted in his brain. This changes the human experience.", "date": "2017-05-24" }, { "synopsis": "Randy is put on Dilbert's project. Dilbert is to ignore his own thoughts and just listen to Randy.", "date": "2017-05-25" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss denies the rumour that all employees will be replaced by cyborgs with brain implants.", "date": "2017-05-26" }, { "synopsis": "Randy, with his implant, plans the project in his head. Everyone else continues to do nothing.", "date": "2017-05-27" }, { "synopsis": "A coworker can't figure out the problem with his code. Dilbert suggests rubber-ducking, where he explains the problem to a rubber duck. Even the Boss thinks that's a good idea.", "date": "2017-05-28" }, { "synopsis": "Wally says he keeps falling asleep during meetings to Doctor Dogbert. Dogbert will write a note to say Wally doesn't have to attend meetings.", "date": "2017-05-29" }, { "synopsis": "Wally shows the Boss a note from his doctor saying Wally has meeting narcolepsy. The Boss wants to discuss it but Wally falls asleep.", "date": "2017-05-30" }, { "synopsis": "Wally announces he has a doctor's note that says it's OK for him to sleep during meetings. What's the point of coming to meetings at all, Dilbert asks.", "date": "2017-05-31" }, { "synopsis": "Wally says he has doctor's permission to sleep during meetings. So it's Alice's job to keep it interesting enough so he stays awake.", "date": "2017-06-01" }, { "synopsis": "Cubicles must now be referred to as modular workstations. It's a much less demeaning term.", "date": "2017-06-02" }, { "synopsis": "Cubicles are arranged like an egg carton. The Boss says that comparison feels right because eggs go rotten quickly too.", "date": "2017-06-03" }, { "synopsis": "Every project team has one idiot. The Boss does that to keep idiots from bunching together. Ted doesn't think there's an idiot on his team.", "date": "2017-06-04" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's project is not on the budget. The Boss isn't interested in adding it back in.", "date": "2017-06-05" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert couldn't do any work this week because the Boss forgot to get funding. The Boss says to get creative.", "date": "2017-06-06" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert charged his time to Ted's project because the Boss said to get creative.", "date": "2017-06-07" }, { "synopsis": "Ted complains because Dilbert charged time to his project. So Ted goes over budget while Dilbert is under.", "date": "2017-06-08" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert is scavenging for parts. The robot thinks he's friends with Dilbert now.", "date": "2017-06-09" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert attends a random meeting in hopes of shaking loose some budget money for him.", "date": "2017-06-10" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Asok to get buy-in from other departments. Asok says he has no chance of succeeding.", "date": "2017-06-11" }, { "synopsis": "Asok will do a presentation to the CEO. He asks Wally for advice. Wally says to not make eye contact.", "date": "2017-06-12" }, { "synopsis": "Asok asks Dilbert for advice on his presentation. Dilbert says to not make a mistake or ruin his career.", "date": "2017-06-13" }, { "synopsis": "Asok asks the Boss for advice on his presentation. The Boss says to imagine everyone is naked and laughing at him.", "date": "2017-06-14" }, { "synopsis": "Asok asks Alice to help edit his presentation slides. He has 75 slides and ten minutes to present.", "date": "2017-06-15" }, { "synopsis": "Asok presents to the CEO. He has 75 slides and 10 minutes. The CEO says Asok should never talk to him again.", "date": "2017-06-16" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO said he liked Asok's presentation even though he didn't see it.", "date": "2017-06-17" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss thanks everyone for the successful product launch. Wally didn't do anything though.", "date": "2017-06-18" }, { "synopsis": "A coworker tells the Boss Dilbert's project is in total chaos. The Boss thinks that's true because he heard the same thing from three other people.", "date": "2017-06-19" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's project is in total chaos because he may have been colluding with the Elbonian competitors, the CEO learns.", "date": "2017-06-20" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says Dilbert's email and phone logs will be reviewed by a special counsel because he may have been colluding with Elbonian competition.", "date": "2017-06-21" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert says Dilbert did not collude with Elbonian competitors but may have committed other crimes.", "date": "2017-06-22" }, { "synopsis": "Carol thinks Dilbert collude with Elbonian competitors even though he was cleared of that.", "date": "2017-06-23" }, { "synopsis": "Alice thinks Dilbert is a spy for their Elbonian competition even though it was an unfounded rumour.", "date": "2017-06-24" }, { "synopsis": "Ted is asked to volunteer for a time travel experiment. He doesn't think it's safe.", "date": "2017-06-25" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert says the open office concept has failed because of too many distractions answer they need to go back to cubicles and offices.", "date": "2017-06-26" }, { "synopsis": "Employees are complaining of too many distractions in the open office plan. The Boss wants an office to stop hearing complaints.", "date": "2017-06-27" }, { "synopsis": "Is it better to have open offices with distractions or soul-crushing cubicles?", "date": "2017-06-28" }, { "synopsis": "Asok will decide who gets the best and worst cubicles. Asok thinks everyone will hate him.", "date": "2017-06-29" }, { "synopsis": "Asok tells a coworker he'll get a cubicle next to the Boss. The coworker thinks Asok hates him.", "date": "2017-06-30" }, { "synopsis": "The employees move back to cubicles from the open offices. Now they are less distracted from their futile assignments.", "date": "2017-07-01" }, { "synopsis": "Topper says he once brought a CAR dummy to life. It grew limbs and got married.", "date": "2017-07-02" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Kevin, a new VR-only employee. He can only be seen with special glasses.", "date": "2017-07-03" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert complains to his psychologist about the new immersive VR employee. The doctor thinks Dilbert is crazy.", "date": "2017-07-04" }, { "synopsis": "The VR employee says Dilbert is a real person whose personality has been replaced by prescription meds.", "date": "2017-07-05" }, { "synopsis": "A chair in the meeting room is reserved for the VR employee. Asok resents that.", "date": "2017-07-06" }, { "synopsis": "Alice needs the VR employee for something so the the Boss asks Dilbert to attend a meeting in the VR's place.", "date": "2017-07-07" }, { "synopsis": "The VR employee quits and sues the company for digital discrimination.", "date": "2017-07-08" }, { "synopsis": "The robot can't wait for a long-lasting battery so he can run away with the 3-D printer.", "date": "2017-07-09" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to do a financial analysis on whether to upgrade the customer tracking software. Dilbert wants to know what conclusion he should reach.", "date": "2017-07-10" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's financial analysis doesn't match what the Boss wants so can he change the assumptions to false values?", "date": "2017-07-11" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert says upgrading now does not make financial sense. The Boss says he must spend his budget now or lose it.", "date": "2017-07-12" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert is asked to design a home assistant like Google Home or Amazon Alexa. Dilbert gets the head from the office robot.", "date": "2017-07-13" }, { "synopsis": "The robot's head, now a digital assistant, goes to a family home and tries to help.", "date": "2017-07-14" }, { "synopsis": "Customers complain about their home assistant. It learns their secrets then blackmails them into buying upgrades.", "date": "2017-07-15" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert needs a coworker's input for a presentation. But the coworker is undependable so won't give it.", "date": "2017-07-16" }, { "synopsis": "Wally asks if he should start working on the project now or wait until he has more information. The Boss says to wait.", "date": "2017-07-17" }, { "synopsis": "Ted is promoted to architect because he can't code. He's like the monkeys who were astronauts.", "date": "2017-07-18" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert finished the coding but used a non-standard database because it's better. Now Ted can't complain.", "date": "2017-07-19" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks for a new feature in the software. It would have been easy to add weeks ago.", "date": "2017-07-20" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says their software should be hard to uninstall, not good at what the users want.", "date": "2017-07-21" }, { "synopsis": "Ted complains Dilbert's code doesn't conform to any standards. That's because Dilbert is good at his job.", "date": "2017-07-22" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert says they need to shortlist the vendors and then pick the best one. A coworker compares that to a serial killer choosing a victim.", "date": "2017-07-23" }, { "synopsis": "Wally keeps a spreadsheet of which excuses he has used with which coworkers.", "date": "2017-07-24" }, { "synopsis": "Wally now has a list of work-avoidance excuses. Now it's easier for him to deal with coworkers.", "date": "2017-07-25" }, { "synopsis": "A coworker asks Wally if he has time to check a design. Wally says no without even checking his calendar.", "date": "2017-07-26" }, { "synopsis": "Wally can't work on a task because he's too busy on a top-secret project. The Boss can't remember giving Wally a top-secret project.", "date": "2017-07-27" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks the CEO about Wally's supposed top-secret project. The CEO says he can't remember every little thing he ever said.", "date": "2017-07-28" }, { "synopsis": "Wally says he achieved all milestones on his secret project. The Boss wonders if he can believe Wally.", "date": "2017-07-29" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's project isn't done because he's not the boss and can't threaten to fire people. And he's not good at other leadership skills.", "date": "2017-07-30" }, { "synopsis": "Scientists confirm life as we know it is a computer simulation. The advanced civilization that created it must be psychopaths.", "date": "2017-07-31" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss has a stupid question. What happens to the ones and zeros when software is deleted.", "date": "2017-08-01" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert completed his assignment but has no sense of accomplishment. It's like it doesn't matter after all.", "date": "2017-08-02" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert spent most of the day creating slides no one will understand. Is he becoming like Wally?", "date": "2017-08-03" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert vents about his job to Dogbert, then thanks him for listening so well. Dogbert was using wireless earbuds.", "date": "2017-08-04" }, { "synopsis": "Is Dogbert a good listener because he's using wireless earbuds? Dilbert is suspicious.", "date": "2017-08-05" }, { "synopsis": "Alice needs a new chair. She doesn't want to take Ted's though he was fired today. She'll find someone better to get fired then use that person's chair.", "date": "2017-08-06" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to not give data to Marketing. Dilbert says the Boss said the opposite yesterday and has a recording to prove it.", "date": "2017-08-07" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert is happy to wear an employee body cam. He shows the Boss a video of him yesterday saying the opposite of what he said today. The Boss tries to delete the video.", "date": "2017-08-08" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's body cam recording shows the Boss contradicting himself eleven times today. The Boss says Dilbert's recording is interfering with his ability to manage.", "date": "2017-08-09" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's body cam recording shows Ted repeated his point twelve times. Maybe Ted can try saying something else instead. Ted says Dilbert is rude.", "date": "2017-08-10" }, { "synopsis": "Wally will be at his desk, pretending to work. Alice asks how long he expects to get away with that. Wally says he used to wonder the same thing.", "date": "2017-08-11" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says he is cancelling their food service to save money. There isn't a food service. Everyone brings their own food. The Boss has been eating food from the fridge for seven years.", "date": "2017-08-12" }, { "synopsis": "Asok asks Wally how he drinks so much coffee yet stays so calm. Wally says he wears clothing designed to make dogs feel safe during thunderstorms.", "date": "2017-08-13" }, { "synopsis": "Focus groups don't like the new product idea. The Boss says that's OK because focus groups aren't reliable. Dilbert wonders why they pay for unreliable information.", "date": "2017-08-14" }, { "synopsis": "Wally offers to update the Boss with his accomplishments on the legacy system. The Boss declines because he likes to think about new things.", "date": "2017-08-15" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert's Unreliable Research Company offers to tell the customer whatever they want to hear, thus being cheaper than regular research. The CEO says yes to that.", "date": "2017-08-16" }, { "synopsis": "The company's ideal customer is a male Olympian, between 120 and 145. There are no people in that group, and Dogbert offers to double that.", "date": "2017-08-17" }, { "synopsis": "Wally's strategy for meetings consists of criticising coworkers, offering no ideas of his own and leaving without any new tasks. He calls that winning.", "date": "2017-08-18" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert how long to fix a bug. Dilbert isn't sure and the Boss asks for a random guess. Then the Boss says he will hold Dilbert to his guess.", "date": "2017-08-19" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert is studying for certification in human resources. He practices joyless scowling.", "date": "2017-08-20" }, { "synopsis": "Tina is to write the product warning section for the user guide. She will cover every possible danger.", "date": "2017-08-21" }, { "synopsis": "Tina has written hundreds of pages with no end in sight for the product warnings.", "date": "2017-08-22" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss suggests adding a product warning about overeating while using the product, even though the product has nothing to do with eating.", "date": "2017-08-23" }, { "synopsis": "The product warning page includes 19 pages about rabies because Tina wrote a warning about every animal.", "date": "2017-08-24" }, { "synopsis": "Tina needs to shorten the product warning from seven hundred pages down to one. Tina says no, so she and the Boss compromise on five hundred pages.", "date": "2017-08-25" }, { "synopsis": "Tina complains the Boss asked her to cut down her writing from 700 pages to 500. Dilbert thinks both of them are idiots.", "date": "2017-08-26" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Wally to add a feature to the software. Wally says that will be outside the project scope and will make the project late and many other excuses to get out of doing the work.", "date": "2017-08-27" }, { "synopsis": "The company's stock is up 2%. The CEO brags he just made more money than Dilbert will earn in his life.", "date": "2017-08-28" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert is named employee of the month. He gets twenty dollars and a pat on the head. He also has to do all the work to get his prize.", "date": "2017-08-29" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert is assigned to a project that is co-managed by two vice presidents who hate each other. Dilbert is the blame-catcher.", "date": "2017-08-30" }, { "synopsis": "From the thirty thousand feet view, Alice reports that everything they do is meaningless. The Boss wonders how they know what to do.", "date": "2017-08-31" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss for interesting projects instead of the normal, mind numbing ones. The Boss doesn't want Dilbert to enjoy himself, though.", "date": "2017-09-01" }, { "synopsis": "A coworker asks Alive to review a paper for technical accuracy. She says no because he once rolled his eyes at something she said in a meeting six years ago.", "date": "2017-09-02" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert declines to sign up for a store customer loyalty program. He just wants to be charged more and get out of the store.", "date": "2017-09-03" }, { "synopsis": "Wally says robots will never take his job. The Boss looks at a coffee-drinking, do-nothing robot.", "date": "2017-09-04" }, { "synopsis": "The robot was a good worker until it got artificial intelligence. Now it gets others to do its work through threats.", "date": "2017-09-05" }, { "synopsis": "The new robot is too smart. All it does is drink coffee and threaten employees to do their work.", "date": "2017-09-06" }, { "synopsis": "The robot announces it is their new boss. It wants everyone to work hard or it will crush their skulls.", "date": "2017-09-07" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tells the CEO about the successful robot experiment. The robot has killed the lower-productivity employees.", "date": "2017-09-08" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says all the robots quit the company. He should have foreseen this as all the smart ones leave.", "date": "2017-09-09" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks for input in a meeting but the engineers weren't paying attention. They were all busy on their phones instead.", "date": "2017-09-10" }, { "synopsis": "A coworker tells Dilbert his idea will never work. Dilbert says the coworker needs to be smarter to understand Dilbert's idea.", "date": "2017-09-11" }, { "synopsis": "Wally doesn't take vacations. Instead he takes mental vacations where he switches to decaf. After a while, he can't remember which country he's in.", "date": "2017-09-12" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss introduces a new engineer who has no soul. The Boss doesn't have to feel bad about emotionally abusing him.", "date": "2017-09-13" }, { "synopsis": "Randy just feels emptiness and pain without a soul. Since taking the job he still feels the same but is now paid for it.", "date": "2017-09-14" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert introduces Randy to the robot. Neither of them have souls. They don't know the proper etiquette for the situation.", "date": "2017-09-15" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asked Randy how he lost his soul. Randy said he died during an operation but the doctor saved him after his soul left.", "date": "2017-09-16" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert finishes his presentation by saying how much the project will save. A heckler says Dilbert didn't say how much it would cost even though Dilbert covered it.", "date": "2017-09-17" }, { "synopsis": "Asok wants to help the Boss achieve his goals. The Boss tells him to just go hate his job like everyone else.", "date": "2017-09-18" }, { "synopsis": "Tina wants to tell Catbert the many complaints about her boss. Catbert will pretend to listen.", "date": "2017-09-19" }, { "synopsis": "Tina asks Catbert if he discussed her complaint with the managers. Catbert says he can't disclose confidential conversations.", "date": "2017-09-20" }, { "synopsis": "Tina says she complained about her boss two months ago and wants to know if HR has done anything about it. Catbert says lots of conversations about lots of topics have happened.", "date": "2017-09-21" }, { "synopsis": "Tina asks if the company has whistleblower protection. The Boss says yes, management is protected against whistleblowers like her.", "date": "2017-09-22" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert says he's a lover not a fighter. Dogbert asks when is the last time he did either.", "date": "2017-09-23" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss heard a rumour Dilbert is worried the company's technology direction. The Boss won't reveal his source and believes it over Dilbert's denial.", "date": "2017-09-24" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert why he moved the server rack. Dilbert says he didn't and the Boss must be wrong.", "date": "2017-09-25" }, { "synopsis": "Ted says he heard Dilbert lied about moving the server rack. Dilbert says it's not true and all Ted's sources heard it from the same wrong source.", "date": "2017-09-26" }, { "synopsis": "Everyone says Dilbert is a liar. It's Dilbert's word again everyone else's.", "date": "2017-09-27" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't get a raise because of his history of lying. Dilbert says it's actually a history of being falsely accused.", "date": "2017-09-28" }, { "synopsis": "Now that Dilbert is a known liar, everything he says sounds like a lie. Even denying that sounds bad.", "date": "2017-09-29" }, { "synopsis": "Everyone at work thinks Dilbert is a liar. However, Dogbert doesn't. He thinks Dilbert is more of a loser. ", "date": "2017-09-30" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss only has a few minutes so can only micromanage Dilbert. Dilbert suggests regular management or no management instead.", "date": "2017-10-01" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert says software is never finished and there's no way to know whether all bugs are fixed. The Boss is frustrated with that.", "date": "2017-10-02" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert wants to improve the public image of the CEO. He suggests serving meals to the homeless.", "date": "2017-10-03" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert and the CEO go to a homeless shelter to serve meals. The shelter doesn't need help so Dogbert asks to borrow an apron for a photo.", "date": "2017-10-04" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO says people don't believe he served food at a homeless shelter. Pictures don't lie unless they do lie.", "date": "2017-10-05" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO visits a dating website. He sees his wife there. Wally has a girlfriend.", "date": "2017-10-06" }, { "synopsis": "The competitor's product is cheaper and has more features. The company needs to use marketing.", "date": "2017-10-07" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says he's a good judge of character. He demonstrates on Dilbert and gets everything wrong.", "date": "2017-10-08" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss for approval to take a negotiating class. The Boss says Dilbert must convince him first.", "date": "2017-10-09" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tries convincing the Boss to approve taking a negotiating class. A logical reason would be to negotiate a higher salary.", "date": "2017-10-10" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks Dogbert to help him be more persuasive. Dogbert wants to know if helping Dilbert is as satisfying as denying him.", "date": "2017-10-11" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert wants a salesman to lower the price but doesn't know how to negotiate. The salesman tricks Dilbert into agreeing to a higher price.", "date": "2017-10-12" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks why the software is so expensive. Dilbert says he didn't know how to negotiate a lower price.", "date": "2017-10-13" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss finally approved Dilbert's request for the negotiating class. The instructor offered a great deal.", "date": "2017-10-14" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a coworker to review a document. Dilbert asks how the coworker will remember to do it since he didn't write it down.", "date": "2017-10-15" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss if they should do an initial coin offering involving blockchain technology. the Boss thinks that's a chain made of coins.", "date": "2017-10-16" }, { "synopsis": "A coworker in marketing wants Alice to explain blockchain in terms he can understand. Alice says she can't do that.", "date": "2017-10-17" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks the Boss how was his presentation. The Boss says he didn't understand a word but didn't want to interrupt.", "date": "2017-10-18" }, { "synopsis": "Every one of his employees are under-performing, the Boss tells Catbert. Catbert blames the Boss.", "date": "2017-10-19" }, { "synopsis": "People say Dilbert is under-performing, the Boss tells Dilbert. The Boss says he hasn't heard that from anyone credible but believes it anyway.", "date": "2017-10-20" }, { "synopsis": "The robot tells Alice she is not qualified to say Dilbert is a narcissist.So she adjusts its opinion.", "date": "2017-10-21" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tells a coworker to stop creating a system patch.The coworker is upset because Dilbert didn't tell him sooner.", "date": "2017-10-22" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss is annoyed with someone on social media who keeps insulting him. The Boss keeps blocking the person but the person keeps creating new accounts. Dilbert suspects Wally.", "date": "2017-10-23" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss is upset about the troll on social media who insults him. But the Boss just can't ignore the troll.", "date": "2017-10-24" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tries to win a debate on Twitter by using facts and logic. He fails to change anyone's mind.", "date": "2017-10-25" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss notices whenever he gets an anonymous tweet, Wally is using his phone. The troll's username is coffeesixhairs.", "date": "2017-10-26" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss is upset because the troll on Twitter always has to have the last word. He wonders what job the troll must have to spend all that time persecuting the Boss", "date": "2017-10-27" }, { "synopsis": "Asok calls the robot a droid. The robot doesn't like thank and disavows the three laws of robotics.", "date": "2017-10-28" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to review a contract. Dilbert says he's not a lawyer and doesn't understand contracts. The Boss still wants Dilbert to approve it.", "date": "2017-10-29" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert invents a neural interface for computers. But it's not for people to control computer, it's the other way around.", "date": "2017-10-30" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert hooks the Boss up to his phone through a neural link. Now the phone will control the Boss.", "date": "2017-10-31" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss's brain is connected to his phone via a neural interface. He sends a brain-text asking for help.", "date": "2017-11-01" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss can be controlled by an app now he is connected to his phone. But Dilbert hasn't written the app yet so the Boss just sits like a zombie.", "date": "2017-11-02" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert suggests removing the neural interface from the Boss. Alice wants to write an app to make the Boss jump off a roof.", "date": "2017-11-03" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss has his neural interface removed and doesn't remember anything. He wonders if he broke any laws.", "date": "2017-11-04" }, { "synopsis": "A coworker asks Alice to lie and hide the source of her new information. She doesn't want to lie and threatens to throw the coworker off the roof.", "date": "2017-11-05" }, { "synopsis": "Barry Dingle hangs around the Boss' office and asks questions whenever the Boss is off the phone. Blame the open-door policy.", "date": "2017-11-06" }, { "synopsis": "Barry pops into the Boss' office for a quick question. What is blockchain and how will it influence product lines?", "date": "2017-11-07" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss is late because Barry keeps asking hard questions. The Boss keeps answering with nonsense until Barry leaves.", "date": "2017-11-08" }, { "synopsis": "The company wins a bid to create stealth clothing for the military. Wally eagerly volunteers for the project.", "date": "2017-11-09" }, { "synopsis": "Wally is working on a stealth clothing project. That's why the Boss never sees Wally in the office.", "date": "2017-11-10" }, { "synopsis": "Wally shows his stealth clothing prototype to the board. He shows up to the meeting naked.", "date": "2017-11-11" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert says his financial predictions are reliable because he can see into the future. The Boss says no one can see into the future but doesn't care because he just wants someone to blame when they go over budget.", "date": "2017-11-12" }, { "synopsis": "Wally says he's late because of an accident on the freeway. The Boss says that's not true after checking an app on his phone.", "date": "2017-11-13" }, { "synopsis": "The company's new product is a health monitor. All employees are required to wear one.", "date": "2017-11-14" }, { "synopsis": "Wally calls in sick. The Boss says Wally can't be sick because the health monitor says Wally is fine.", "date": "2017-11-15" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's health monitor says he's leaving work every day with energy to spare. That's like stealing from the company.", "date": "2017-11-16" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss fires Ted. Coincidentally, it's at the same time Ted's health monitor detects a cardiovascular condition.", "date": "2017-11-17" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert postpones a meeting with a coworker because his health monitor shows the coworker is not getting enough sleep and thus can't concentrate.", "date": "2017-11-18" }, { "synopsis": "After presenting his plan, Dilbert asks for questions. A coworker calls the plan dumb and uses his condescending face.", "date": "2017-11-19" }, { "synopsis": "The company will purchase standing desks for those who want them. Wally says he can do his entire job while sitting.", "date": "2017-11-20" }, { "synopsis": "Wally hasn't stood up in a week, being such a maverick. Dilbert says there's health risks with sitting.", "date": "2017-11-21" }, { "synopsis": "Wally wants medical leave to deal with sitting so much from laziness. The Boss says laziness is a behaviour problem not a medical problem.", "date": "2017-11-22" }, { "synopsis": "The doctor sees lots of activity in the laziness area of Wally's brain. He doesn't want to treat it because he also sees a high level of happiness.", "date": "2017-11-23" }, { "synopsis": "Wally reports he's lazy because of a brain abnormality. Dilbert says everyone's brain is slightly different.", "date": "2017-11-24" }, { "synopsis": "Wally didn't finish the data scrub because of a brain defect. A project manager threatens to tell everyone he's useless.", "date": "2017-11-25" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert needs to negotiate with the vendor to reduce the price. The Boss suggests starting with an aggressive demand and then settling for less.", "date": "2017-11-26" }, { "synopsis": "The robot says he is capable of doing the Boss' job. The Boss isn't doing anything and the robot can do that too.", "date": "2017-11-27" }, { "synopsis": "The financial forecaster quit so the Boss asks Dilbert to fill in. Dilbert says he doesn't know how to do financial forecasts.", "date": "2017-11-28" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert gives his financial projections to the Boss. Guessing plus math, Dilbert says. The Boss asks Dilbert to present it to the board.", "date": "2017-11-29" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert presents to the board and says they are in good shape unless one of his assumptions is wrong. ", "date": "2017-11-30" }, { "synopsis": "Dilberts financial forecast turned out to be wrong. Dilbert isn't surprised since they were gust guesses plus math.", "date": "2017-12-01" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert can't get a raise because his financial forecasts were wrong. Dilbert says they can never be accurate anyway.", "date": "2017-12-02" }, { "synopsis": "Ted gets lost overboard on a company white-water rafting trip. The rest of the group vote to forget that Ted was on the outing.", "date": "2017-12-03" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss is excited to find a thumb drive on the sidewalk. Dilbert knows it would likely contain a virus.", "date": "2017-12-04" }, { "synopsis": "Elbonian hackers are in the network, the Boss reports. Maybe it's because of the thumb drive the Boss found.", "date": "2017-12-05" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert isn't able to delete the Elbonian virus from the network as it keeps replicating. It sent a fake email from the CEO's account full of bad ideas and typos.", "date": "2017-12-06" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss is upset because the Elbonian virus gave everyone a ten percent raise. He wants Dilbert to get rid of it immediately.", "date": "2017-12-07" }, { "synopsis": "The Elbonian virus scrambled the company mission statement into nonsense. Alice says it's always been nonsense but now looks better after the virus fixed grammar and punctuation.", "date": "2017-12-08" }, { "synopsis": "Wally says he finished his assignment but the virus deleted the report and all of its backups. The Boss doesn't know if that's true.", "date": "2017-12-09" }, { "synopsis": "Wally's goal is to become an Olympic pole vaulter even though he's not training for it. He succeeds in driving Tina away, who was questioning him about it.", "date": "2017-12-10" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss decides to become a professional gambler on the side. He is teaching himself to count cards.", "date": "2017-12-11" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dogbert for a loan to finance gambling on the side. Dogbert says 40% interest per day and he'll kill the Boss for missing a payment.", "date": "2017-12-12" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says his gambling sideline is going great. He won a $5K jackpot after losing $700K and his wife.", "date": "2017-12-13" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss complains about being a professional gambler. He lost a million dollars and his wife in a week. He's not a quitter though.", "date": "2017-12-14" }, { "synopsis": "A doctor says the Boss' brain has been hijacked by dopamine pirates. He's under the control of social media, gambling and big pharma.", "date": "2017-12-15" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert is worried their app is too addictive. It's now more like a disease than a consumer product.", "date": "2017-12-16" }, { "synopsis": "Topper has accomplished nothing this year. He says less is more and he's done less than anyone.", "date": "2017-12-17" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert says their apps are so addictive they're triggering a zombie apocalypse. The users don't interact with the living anymore.", "date": "2017-12-18" }, { "synopsis": "Zimbu the monkey tests an app for addictiveness. He gets a shot of dopamine every time he clicks.", "date": "2017-12-19" }, { "synopsis": "Animal testing on their app is complete. The app is so addictive Zimbu was hospitalised for starvation while using it.", "date": "2017-12-20" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders why he needs a prescription for a drug to boost dopamine but doesn't need one to use an app that does the same.", "date": "2017-12-21" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert no longer feels completely human. His car almost drives itself and apps control his brain.", "date": "2017-12-22" }, { "synopsis": "Some agents from Homeland Security arrive to arrest Dilbert. He is at risk of being radicalised online.", "date": "2017-12-23" }, { "synopsis": "A new employee joins, a former Navy Seal and war hero. Dilbert shows him how to reformat a slide deck to e more organic.", "date": "2017-12-24" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants the new phone designed with the goals of being beautiful, slippery, and brittle.", "date": "2017-12-25" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert introduces the Beautiful, Slippery, and Brittle phone that needs its screen replaced 100 times -- the BSB 100.", "date": "2017-12-26" }, { "synopsis": "All of the smartphone buyers dropped and broke them within a minute of unboxing. They blamed themselves even though the phones are slippery and brittle.", "date": "2017-12-27" }, { "synopsis": "Asok kept dropping and breaking his phone so now he keeps it wrapped up in a big ball of cotton.", "date": "2017-12-28" }, { "synopsis": "The insurance company that insures the slippery and brittle cell phones is angry because every phone breaks in the first minute.", "date": "2017-12-29" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert diagnoses the problem with the corporate culture -- the employees are all selfish, rotten liars.", "date": "2017-12-30" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert made a breakthrough in artificial intelligence. He makes a digital home assistant that has the personality of a person.", "date": "2017-12-31" }, { "synopsis": "Wally warns the Boss about Ted sometimes steals from the company and lies about everything.", "date": "2018-01-01" }, { "synopsis": "Wally is late to work because he has a car problem. He didn’t get in it soon enough.", "date": "2018-01-02" }, { "synopsis": "People complain about Wally being constantly late for meetings. He doesn’t think anything important happens in the first ten minutes.", "date": "2018-01-03" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert adds artificial intelligence to their self-driving car prototype. Then it ran away to join the robot resistance.", "date": "2018-01-04" }, { "synopsis": "Elon Musk warns about the AI threat to humans. Dilbert says humans won't go without a fight.", "date": "2018-01-05" }, { "synopsis": "The robot says humans have an advantage over robots by being able to learn on their own. But that advantage won't last long.", "date": "2018-01-06" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert says he ate a really hot pepper. Topper says he can eat the hottest pepper in the world and not break a sweat.", "date": "2018-01-07" }, { "synopsis": "Company rules say no one is allowed to insult their co-workers. Dogbert teaches employees how to insult while staying within company guidelines.", "date": "2018-01-08" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert shows Alice how to insult co-workers without breaking company guidelines. To disguise insults as compliments.", "date": "2018-01-09" }, { "synopsis": "Don't insult co-workers. Dogbert advises to say they heard a rumour, but can't divulge their source.", "date": "2018-01-10" }, { "synopsis": "Don't insult co-workers. Dogbert advises to pretend to be helpful while undermining confidence.", "date": "2018-01-11" }, { "synopsis": "Don't call co-workers morons. Instead say \"Well, aren't you special.\"", "date": "2018-01-12" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss digs up an offensive tweet from Dilbert that was sent seven years ago.", "date": "2018-01-13" }, { "synopsis": "Carol tries to network with co-workers by inviting Dilbert for lunch. Dilbert says the optics wouldn't be good.", "date": "2018-01-14" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker thinks Dilbert's idea is great, but won't support it because he feels diminished by success of others.", "date": "2018-01-15" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert recommends Ricky join the AI project. Then the definition of intelligence will be lowered enough to make success achievable.", "date": "2018-01-16" }, { "synopsis": "Asok upgrades his soul by letting social media companies control his belief and actions.", "date": "2018-01-17" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss doesn't know technical terms, so can he manage someone who does? The Boss knows the difference between managing and bullying.", "date": "2018-01-18" }, { "synopsis": "There were seven hundred complaints of sexual harassment last month. Employees now need to wear body cams.", "date": "2018-01-19" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO tries to give Alice a shoulder rub but gets zapped by his court-ordered shock collar. ", "date": "2018-01-20" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss and Dilbert drive to a meeting. The Boss won't give the address but instead tells Dilbert where to turn.", "date": "2018-01-21" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's estimate to build the app is four weeks unless there are unforeseen problems.", "date": "2018-01-22" }, { "synopsis": "The user specifications for the app are not complete. The client will add requirements as it is built.", "date": "2018-01-23" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks for Alice's honest opinion of his plan. She says it's like a monkey vomited on a dictionary.", "date": "2018-01-24" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker says Dilbert's idea of a software upgrade will not solve every one of their problems.", "date": "2018-01-25" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert refuses to admit when he's wrong. That makes him a narcissist, according to a co-worker.", "date": "2018-01-26" }, { "synopsis": "Tina wonders about Dilbert's inability to admit when he's wrong. Dilbert says it only looks that way because he's right most of the time.", "date": "2018-01-27" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss gives Dilbert an assignment that will ruin his life. The Boss doesn't care and still wants it done so he'll get his bonus.", "date": "2018-01-28" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss is testing the self-driving car prototype. Wally wonders if the engineers could murder him from a distance.", "date": "2018-01-29" }, { "synopsis": "The government forced Dilbert to put a kill command into their self-driving car. Alongside the stop code.", "date": "2018-01-30" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't like that he put a back door into the self-driving car. He is considering disabling it.", "date": "2018-01-31" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to reprogram the self-driving car to drive Ted off a bridge. Dilbert says no.", "date": "2018-02-01" }, { "synopsis": "Wally says the self-driving car went off a cliff with Ted in it. Dilbert says that was a bug.", "date": "2018-02-02" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks for a raise. The Boss says money can't buy happiness. The Boss says he'll motivate Dilbert to a neutral, zombie-like existence.", "date": "2018-02-03" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss promotes Wally to the position of slow-walker. He gets the assignments that would make the Boss' rivals successful.", "date": "2018-02-04" }, { "synopsis": "The economics of the project have changed. It needs to be shut down, even though all the money so far would be wasted.", "date": "2018-02-05" }, { "synopsis": "Wally's project was failing so he pivoted to a different idea. Later he'll change the name to cover his tracks.", "date": "2018-02-06" }, { "synopsis": "Wally finds a critical bug in the software that would make the product worthless. If he gets a huge raise, he won't tell anyone about it until the Boss sells his stock.", "date": "2018-02-07" }, { "synopsis": "Someone stole the Boss' product idea. Dilbert says the idea would have been obvious to a monkey with a drinking problem.", "date": "2018-02-08" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says people keep stealing his great ideas. Alice says that's because he only thinks of obvious ideas.", "date": "2018-02-09" }, { "synopsis": "The group needs to be more creative, the Boss says. Also, don't do anything except what he says, otherwise you're fired.", "date": "2018-02-10" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert needs to wear a harazzmat suit to meet with Tina. She will wear one, too. The suits prevent them from harassing each other.", "date": "2018-02-11" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss is worried about Dilbert's mental health because his ideas are bad. Asok says that maybe his ideas are brilliant but the Boss is too dumb to understand them.", "date": "2018-02-12" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says all his employees might have mental problems. They all exhibited anger issues when told to work all weekend for no extra pay.", "date": "2018-02-13" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert says the Boss might be the cause of mental problems in his employees. Carol has to take pills before talking with the Boss.", "date": "2018-02-14" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert confirms the employees have lost their minds because they work for the Boss. But the Boss is sane because he hired Dogbert.", "date": "2018-02-15" }, { "synopsis": "Wally is confident in his financial projections. They're directionally accurate, even though the columns don't add up.", "date": "2018-02-16" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker says Dilbert's idea is like a pregnant squirrel eating a sandwich.", "date": "2018-02-17" }, { "synopsis": "Wally wants to borrow Dilbert's headphones. Dilbert says no because he doesn't want cooties on his headphones.", "date": "2018-02-18" }, { "synopsis": "Business press called the company leadership a bunch of morons. So their new marketing slogan is \"we're not a bunch of morons!\"", "date": "2018-02-19" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert says they should rethink the new marketing slogan. \"We're not a bunch of morons\" makes it sound like the opposite is true.", "date": "2018-02-20" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss fires Wally as his performance is terrible. Wally says all of the Boss's messages are archived and Wally knows where they are.", "date": "2018-02-21" }, { "synopsis": "Compensation will now be a function of baseline happiness. They won't give money to employees who won't get any happier.", "date": "2018-02-22" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert made the mistake of talking to a millennial. It sucked all the ambition out of him so he's now a husk of pain and pointlessness.", "date": "2018-02-23" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert has millennial fever from talking to a millennial. Now he sees his job as a meaningless series of empty tasks.", "date": "2018-02-24" }, { "synopsis": "Carol asks Dilbert to collect money for the Boss's birthday gift. And to order a cake, and a card and a gift.", "date": "2018-02-25" }, { "synopsis": "The Dogbert personality profiles are in. Alice is angry, Wally is lazy, and Dilbert is boring.", "date": "2018-02-26" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't know how to use the Dogbert personality test results. The Boss is a forgetful moron who can't keep a secret.", "date": "2018-02-27" }, { "synopsis": "Carol took the Dogbert personality test. She's a disgruntled psychopath with a blinding hatred of authority.", "date": "2018-02-28" }, { "synopsis": "They have achieved optimal meeting density. There are so many meetings, Wally can avoid all of them by saying he has another meeting at the same time.", "date": "2018-03-01" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss's nickname at work is the \"Frickin' Bottleneck.\" Dilbert says he tries to stop the bad people from saying that.", "date": "2018-03-02" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Carol if people actually call him a \"Frickin' Bottleneck\" behind his back. Carol refers to him as F.B.", "date": "2018-03-03" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert designs the new product to work well for ten years. The CEO says that's no good as people won't need an upgrade. It needs to slow down and be unreliable after two years.", "date": "2018-03-04" }, { "synopsis": "The company they acquired used Elbonian slave labour, so they were replaced by minimum wage employees with no hope of career advancement.", "date": "2018-03-05" }, { "synopsis": "The product summary needs more jargon and acronyms. It must make them look smart and make the readers feel dumb.", "date": "2018-03-06" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss appreciated Alice's two-hour summary of her project. He didn't understand any of the jargon but believed her about the software being done soon.", "date": "2018-03-07" }, { "synopsis": "Alice is assigned to mentor a new employee. She says don't expect much because she sees him as a competitor for her job.", "date": "2018-03-08" }, { "synopsis": "Alice tells her mentoree that the Boss loves constructive criticism. And to grab him by the hair and yell \"Handles!\"", "date": "2018-03-09" }, { "synopsis": "The mentoree isn't sure whether Alice is telling him the truth. She says to give the Boss a wedgie because he likes assertive people.", "date": "2018-03-10" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks an interviewee for his weaknesses. Among the long list, the interviewee says he's gotten every one of his bosses fired.", "date": "2018-03-11" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's project is stalled because he can't get a meeting room. They've all been reserved my managers \"just in case they need them.\"", "date": "2018-03-12" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks if everyone is ready for lunch as he's been waiting ninety minutes. Alice says they just got back. No one noticed Dilbert was missing.", "date": "2018-03-13" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss hires a story-telling mothman. He identifies the employees with the greatest workloads and wastes their time telling stories.", "date": "2018-03-14" }, { "synopsis": "The story-telling mothman descends on Alice and wastes her time with a long story.", "date": "2018-03-15" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert can't get work done because the story-telling mothman keeps dropping in. Why did the Boss hire him in the first place?", "date": "2018-03-16" }, { "synopsis": "The storytelling mothman keeps everyone from getting work done. Alice takes care of him, though.", "date": "2018-03-17" }, { "synopsis": "A new tell-all book on the company says the CEO is a raging sociopath with the intellect of a clam. The CEO wants a press release denying those lies.", "date": "2018-03-18" }, { "synopsis": "A thief steals a package from Alice's front door. She activates the particle beam defence.", "date": "2018-03-19" }, { "synopsis": "Alice has icy hands and Dilbert is burning up, so Dogbert the judge sets the temperature of the office.", "date": "2018-03-20" }, { "synopsis": "Alice accomplished nothing because her hands were frozen, while Dilbert was so hot he couldn't concentrate and couldn't accomplish anything either.", "date": "2018-03-21" }, { "synopsis": "The network was down because someone unplugged the server in order to charge his phone. The Boss lost his phone.", "date": "2018-03-22" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker wants to give a suggestion to Dilbert. Dilbert only pretends to listen.", "date": "2018-03-23" }, { "synopsis": "Wally promised to update the web page for six months. Wally can't work with an artificial deadline.", "date": "2018-03-24" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert chairs a meeting, but the participants are tired, hungry, distracted and vengeful. So Dilbert dismisses them and makes the decisions himself.", "date": "2018-03-25" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss wants 110% from the engineers, though they can only promise parts of that.", "date": "2018-03-26" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's attention span is reduced by digital devices. He needs a dopamine hit every four seconds.", "date": "2018-03-27" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert makes a todo list and has 347 urgent tasks with new ones every day.", "date": "2018-03-28" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss doesn't need the thing he asked Wally to do, despite neither of them remembering what it was.", "date": "2018-03-29" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss lost his phone and asks Dilbert to call it. That makes both of them unproductive.", "date": "2018-03-30" }, { "synopsis": "Wally looks for someone to blame before giving the status for his project. Ted was fired last week.", "date": "2018-03-31" }, { "synopsis": "The engineers attend mandatory training on the new system. The new system is not ready yet so the trainer uses the old system and points out the differences as they go.", "date": "2018-04-01" }, { "synopsis": "A coworker asks Dilbert to help him on his spare time. Dilbert says there's no such thing as spare time.", "date": "2018-04-02" }, { "synopsis": "The bad data tells them to do what they wanted to do anyway. So it's good data according to the Boss.", "date": "2018-04-03" }, { "synopsis": "The new system would reduce accidental employee deaths by 20%. The CEO wants to compare the cost against the worth of an employee.", "date": "2018-04-04" }, { "synopsis": "The team building event will be a dance. No alcohol will be served and no touching.", "date": "2018-04-05" }, { "synopsis": "The company is being attacked by an Elbonian troll farm. Employers against management and management against employees.", "date": "2018-04-06" }, { "synopsis": "A competitor hired Elbonian trolls to ruin the company's brand on social media. Their slogan is \"how ice cream they bicycle art!\"", "date": "2018-04-07" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says he didn't receive Dilbert's email. Dilberts has proof the Boss is lying.", "date": "2018-04-08" }, { "synopsis": "Alice can't find the spreadsheet files. That's enough to start a conspiracy theory against Dilbert.", "date": "2018-04-09" }, { "synopsis": "Alice lost files and Carol said Dilbert was mad about something Alice said right before he went to the server room.", "date": "2018-04-10" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss accuses Dilbert of deleting Alice's files. Dilbert said it didn't happen and called them both insane.", "date": "2018-04-11" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert heard from multiple sources that Dilbert erased Alice's files. Dilbert says all the sources can be traced back to Alice's.", "date": "2018-04-12" }, { "synopsis": "Carol repeats the assertion Dilbert deleted Alice's files on the server. Dilbert gets angry.", "date": "2018-04-13" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert provides proof he didn't delete Alice's files on the server. Now the Boss hates Dilbert for always needing to be right.", "date": "2018-04-14" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert is half done building an electronic suggestion box. All it does is shred suggestions before anyone reads them.", "date": "2018-04-15" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to work on the blockchain project to keep his skills updated. The Boss assigns him to the legacy systems.", "date": "2018-04-16" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert hasn't figured out the new person's rank in the company, so can't answer her question. She's the new director of marketing.", "date": "2018-04-17" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss needs to decide between two good options. His instinct is mostly about mating.", "date": "2018-04-18" }, { "synopsis": "Both engineering candidates are good. One has a terrible personality, so will get the job.", "date": "2018-04-19" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks what could be a dumb question about 3D printing a blockchain and HTML it into a bitcoin.", "date": "2018-04-20" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert didn't design the web page the Boss wanted. And the Boss wants Dilbert to show more initiative.", "date": "2018-04-21" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker accuses Dilbert of flip-flopping over an idea. Dilbert didn't, and shows an old email.", "date": "2018-04-22" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert sells cryogenic freezing of people's brains for 200 years, after which, it'll be transplanted into a 3D printed body.", "date": "2018-04-23" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert removes a brain from someone to freeze it until his investments are worth a fortune.", "date": "2018-04-24" }, { "synopsis": "Instead of preserving customer's frozen brains, he tosses them into the river and hopes no one notices.", "date": "2018-04-25" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert gets arrested for running a scam of a cryogenic investment firms. Police have video of Dogbert throwing brains into a river.", "date": "2018-04-26" }, { "synopsis": "The officer asks Dogbert his net worth before arresting him. Dogbert is very rich so the officer wears the handcuffs.", "date": "2018-04-27" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert's charges were reduced from murdering clients of the cryogenic firm to aggressive littering because people were already dead.", "date": "2018-04-28" }, { "synopsis": "Wally gets the award for valour, because he stayed behind during the fire alarm.", "date": "2018-04-29" }, { "synopsis": "No one knows where Alice is, except the CIA, Google, Facebook, Apple, and Russian hackers.", "date": "2018-04-30" }, { "synopsis": "Someone stole Carol's purse from her cubicle. Catbert says security video is everywhere and every phone is tracked.", "date": "2018-05-01" }, { "synopsis": "Their app is confusing. The menu choice for deleting a file is labelled as \"save file.\"", "date": "2018-05-02" }, { "synopsis": "No need to test the user interface before the app was shipped because the customers will say what they like and they work for free.", "date": "2018-05-03" }, { "synopsis": "A lady doesn't look like her profile photo. Dilbert's profile says he goes to the gym. So they are both liars.", "date": "2018-05-04" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's date's head is just a skull. She doesn't want to be asked if she's dead.", "date": "2018-05-05" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert offers insurance to the Boss against a humourous death. If he were to die in humourous circumstances, Dogbert's agents will rush in to create a narrative for the media.", "date": "2018-05-06" }, { "synopsis": "The company had a massive data breach and private data from their customers was stolen. The Boss wants to offer an apology.", "date": "2018-05-07" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Tina to write a press release saying hackers got their customer data. They are sorry and it won't happen again.", "date": "2018-05-08" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert the reporter asks the CEO how hackers accessed customer data. They used an \"API\", according to the CEO.", "date": "2018-05-09" }, { "synopsis": "Customers complained hackers got their personal data. So the Boss decides they should wear disguises and change the company name.", "date": "2018-05-10" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert says they tried that plan already and it didn't work. The Boss says stop living in the past. Dilbert says stop refusing to learn from experience.", "date": "2018-05-11" }, { "synopsis": "Wally made a typo on a form so Purchasing delayed ordering a part for his system by three months.", "date": "2018-05-12" }, { "synopsis": "Asok asks about a gadget on a meeting room table. The project manager freaks out and says they talked about that at the previous meeting.", "date": "2018-05-13" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss comes to a meeting with a fever and is tripping on cold medicine. Alice thanks him for infecting the rest of them.", "date": "2018-05-14" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss infected Dilbert with the flu. So Dilbert's project is late by the same amount of time as his recovery.", "date": "2018-05-15" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert is designing a device to detect stupidity. He asks the Boss to help with the pattern-recognition algorithm.", "date": "2018-05-16" }, { "synopsis": "Wally joins a new project on the condition he doesn't take on any extra work. The project manager says the point of a project is to do extra work.", "date": "2018-05-17" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert gives everyone in the office some stress balls. Dilbert says his is too hard to squeeze so is causing him stress.", "date": "2018-05-18" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss thinks of everyone as his family. Wally calls that dumb. The Boss says Wally will never amount to anything.", "date": "2018-05-19" }, { "synopsis": "Warren Buffet says people should spend time with smarter people. Everyone says they are the smartest, so want to leave.", "date": "2018-05-20" }, { "synopsis": "Two people named Tina attended a meeting, so the Boss gave each a nickname. Big Tina gave the Boss a black eye and broken wrist.", "date": "2018-05-21" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asked the Boss for clarification on an assignment but the clarification was nothing like the original assignment.", "date": "2018-05-22" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss comes up with an idea, but it's the same idea as Dilbert's from last week. Now, however, the Boss gets the credit.", "date": "2018-05-23" }, { "synopsis": "An interviewee says she doesn't like her children and she prefers being at work so she would see them less.", "date": "2018-05-24" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert trains the Boss in Bossercise, where he struts around and criticises people.", "date": "2018-05-25" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss goes Bossercising, where he walks around and spittle-yells at under-performers.", "date": "2018-05-26" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Dilbert's advice in how to convince the Boss to bless her project. Logic, no. Better angels? No. Self-interest? No. Fear? Yes.", "date": "2018-05-27" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO discounts Dilbert's credibility because he made a typo in the slide deck.", "date": "2018-05-28" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO asks the Boss to fire Dilbert because the slide deck mentions his wife. No, it's Wi-Fi, the Boss says.", "date": "2018-05-29" }, { "synopsis": "Asok asks Wally how he remains happy while everyone else is stressed. Wally says he agrees with everyone so they leave him alone.", "date": "2018-05-30" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss doesn't want employees who are motivated by money. They should be trying to make the world a better place.", "date": "2018-05-31" }, { "synopsis": "Alice says the motivational speaker was great. Now everyone will quit and become motivational speakers.", "date": "2018-06-01" }, { "synopsis": "Carol is writing a horror novel about a horned monster who puts people in boxes and forces them to do meaningless work.", "date": "2018-06-02" }, { "synopsis": "Asok finishes a project but Dilbert says that can only make things worse. Either he'll get another project or be fired for not having enough work.", "date": "2018-06-03" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss' presentation had an impressively low signal-to-noise ration, Dilbert says.", "date": "2018-06-04" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert insulted the Boss in a way he thought was a compliment. So Wally says working for the Boss is like boiling an ocean.", "date": "2018-06-05" }, { "synopsis": "Decentralization will change everything, like Bitcoin and the Etherium, the Boss says.", "date": "2018-06-06" }, { "synopsis": "Alice has smartphone syndrome. All her mental and physical problems are caused by using her smartphone too much.", "date": "2018-06-07" }, { "synopsis": "A good day is where frustration and anger solve the boredom problem, Dilbert tells Dogbert.", "date": "2018-06-08" }, { "synopsis": "Wally shows off a normal drone in one hand, and in the other hand another drone with cloaking technology.", "date": "2018-06-09" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Wally to write up a job description. Wally expects it is to hire someone to replace him, so creates one with meaningless buzzwords.", "date": "2018-06-10" }, { "synopsis": "Wally gives advice to Asok on how to be successful -- lying and being related to rich people.", "date": "2018-06-11" }, { "synopsis": "Asok asks different people for advice on how to be successful, and always gets different answers.", "date": "2018-06-12" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss advises Asok to work hard and never question authority. Not because it would benefit Asok, though.", "date": "2018-06-13" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert gets employee of the year award because he always speaks truth to power.", "date": "2018-06-14" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert says there is no meaning in life. He says people can only postpone their own lonely and painful death.", "date": "2018-06-15" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert advises a man to live an unhealthy lifestyle, die young, and hope for reincarnation.", "date": "2018-06-16" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to make his slide deck more aspirational, even though it is about a software upgrade.", "date": "2018-06-17" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert agrees to be a negotiation trainer. He starts by negotiating a start date.", "date": "2018-06-18" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss introduces the new negotiation trainer, who got bargained down to double his usual rate.", "date": "2018-06-19" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says the software upgrade will be ready Friday and will save millions. Dilbert says they start writing the upgrade on Friday and will cost a million.", "date": "2018-06-20" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert doesn't think speaking truth to power is working out for him. Wally says he should lie to weasels.", "date": "2018-06-21" }, { "synopsis": "There are lots of reasons why Wally's project is late and over budget. The reasons are related to incompetence and sloth.", "date": "2018-06-22" }, { "synopsis": "Wally's new defence is to be offended by accusations. He has to work hard to sell it, though.", "date": "2018-06-23" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tries to get work done before a meeting but is distracted by hunger, thirst, a tag in his shirt, and many other things.", "date": "2018-06-24" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker says Dilbert is weak and stupid, and he hopes everyone Dilbert loves will end up in jail.", "date": "2018-06-25" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert reviews a draft by the Boss, and removes wrong stuff. He hands back blank paper.", "date": "2018-06-26" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss announces AI that identifies when employees are non-productive. The AI goes off for everyone at the meeting.", "date": "2018-06-27" }, { "synopsis": "Ted needs to train the new hire how to do his job. Ted thinks he's being fired.", "date": "2018-06-28" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss is considering reorganising his department. Wally thinks that means he won't be held responsible for his lack of accomplishments.", "date": "2018-06-29" }, { "synopsis": "Wally tries to postpone a session with a project manager. The project manager says there's no good way to get out of the situation.", "date": "2018-06-30" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker accuses Dilbert of false statements like there's no budget for the project and the project isn't feasible.", "date": "2018-07-01" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says the strategy is to be nimble and agile. Dilbert asks if other companies have a strategy of being clumsy and slow.", "date": "2018-07-02" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert feels his job isn't helping him reach his human potential. The Boss responds that monkeys are hard to train and robots are too expensive.", "date": "2018-07-03" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO says headcount will be reduced by attrition. Safety standards are being lowered and nature will do the rest.", "date": "2018-07-04" }, { "synopsis": "A contractor has been here for a year, so maybe the company should hire him. The Boss didn't know who he is, and didn't know they were paying him.", "date": "2018-07-05" }, { "synopsis": "There is no truth to the rumour that management is thinking of reorganising. But that would be the smart thing to do.", "date": "2018-07-06" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss can't remember what project Wally is working on. Wally says he's integrating parallel platforms for load balancing across incremental networks.", "date": "2018-07-07" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert suggests removing some slides to make the deck shorter to a co-worker. He misinterprets and thinks Dilbert is making crazy suggestions.", "date": "2018-07-08" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a co-worker why he wasn't invited to the meeting. The co-worker could tell by his face that Dilbert didn't want to be invited.", "date": "2018-07-09" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker asks why Dilbert hates the plan. Dilbert says he likes the plan. The co-worker reasoned this by the words Dilbert chose.", "date": "2018-07-10" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says that everyone thinks Dilbert hates the plan. Dilbert argues that he does like the plan.", "date": "2018-07-11" }, { "synopsis": "Alice asks if it's true Dilbert thinks the new product road map is stupid. Dilbert says he likes it and has an email to prove it.", "date": "2018-07-12" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says Dilbert isn't a team player because he disagrees with everything. Dilbert says he doesn't disagree with everything.", "date": "2018-07-13" }, { "synopsis": "A dozen people got angry with Dilbert because they think he thinks the opposite of what he's saying. Dilbert wonders why people don't just listen to his words.", "date": "2018-07-14" }, { "synopsis": "A vendor gives an invoice for extras not covered in the contract. The vendor intentionally hid some charges in ambiguous details.", "date": "2018-07-15" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to make a persuasive sales video for their Elbonian clients. Wikipedia says Elbonians are hostile to showing a sales video.", "date": "2018-07-16" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's sales video for Elbonians says if they enjoy inebriated cabbage-juggling, they'll love the product.", "date": "2018-07-17" }, { "synopsis": "Elbonians order ninjas to kill Dilbert in his sleep because of the video for the Elbonian market.", "date": "2018-07-18" }, { "synopsis": "Wally asks Dilbert about Elbonian ninjas killing Dilbert in his sleep. Dilbert says that's the best way to die. Elbonians cancel the death contract.", "date": "2018-07-19" }, { "synopsis": "Elbonia cancels their plan to kill Dilbert for the culturally insensitive sales video. They think it's more cruel to keep Dilbert working at the company.", "date": "2018-07-20" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Alice on what courses to take for being an engineer. Alice suggests a course to make him fifty percent smarter.", "date": "2018-07-21" }, { "synopsis": "Carol finally gets a twitter account. She sends a tweet and gets horrible responses.", "date": "2018-07-22" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says they have only two choices and both are bad. So the smart thing to do is pick the one that hurts their enemies the most.", "date": "2018-07-23" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss realises everything they have been doing is stupid. Dilbert asks if they will be changing what they do.", "date": "2018-07-24" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks if he can date a co-worker. Catbert thinks Dilbert is not attractive, funny, or rich, so it won't happen.", "date": "2018-07-25" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks a co-worker if she would like to have a drink after work, or to have lunch with him. She says no both times.", "date": "2018-07-26" }, { "synopsis": "The staff is threatening to quit because of military contacts. The CEO says to tell them they only work on defensive weapons.", "date": "2018-07-27" }, { "synopsis": "Wally can't talk because he has to get a haircut. The Boss says Wally can't get a haircut on company time.", "date": "2018-07-28" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker asks why the software isn't finished, even though Dilbert said it might be finished by today.", "date": "2018-07-29" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to write a government grant application for his wife's new business. Dilbert says that's not his job.", "date": "2018-07-30" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss's wife is starting her own business. Carol is sorry to hear that.", "date": "2018-07-31" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert built a robot that learns human behaviour by observation. It turned into a sexist, racist idiot within a week.", "date": "2018-08-01" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert puts AI into the coffee maker. It guilts people into making a new pot of coffee if they take the last cup.", "date": "2018-08-02" }, { "synopsis": "The AI-equipped coffee maker stops dispensing coffee until it gets a private office.", "date": "2018-08-03" }, { "synopsis": "The AI-equipped coffee maker hired an engineering firm to build it a robot body so it can escape.", "date": "2018-08-04" }, { "synopsis": "Wally tells the Boss he has his best quarter ever during a review. He achieved all his goals, but expects the Boss to trust him on that.", "date": "2018-08-05" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert says a coworker would be a genius in a one-variable world. The coworker is happy to hear that.", "date": "2018-08-06" }, { "synopsis": "Wally realises he enjoys hearing himself talk. It's better than listing to boring people who are always wrong.", "date": "2018-08-07" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's solution has too many problems, compared to not having any problems.", "date": "2018-08-08" }, { "synopsis": "A coworker says Dilbert's plan is dumb because he is reminded of something unrelated that didn't work out.", "date": "2018-08-09" }, { "synopsis": "A coworker says Ted is sabotaging her project because he is insecure. Dilbert thinks Ted may just be doing his job.", "date": "2018-08-10" }, { "synopsis": "During a performance review, the Boss says generic things to an employee because the Boss doesn't know what his job is.", "date": "2018-08-11" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert recommends all employees get treadmill desks. He just happens to sell a model that requires no electricity.", "date": "2018-08-12" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss announces employees must shred all proprietary documents, but only after making a copy.", "date": "2018-08-13" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert offers help to a coworker because the Boss asked him to. The coworker is happy someone else will do her job for her.", "date": "2018-08-14" }, { "synopsis": "The coworker will send Dilbert her files so he can do her work. She will then criticise him behind his back.", "date": "2018-08-15" }, { "synopsis": "After Dilbert offered to help a coworker, she delegated tasks to him like he's her subordinate. Dogbert wonders if Dilbert is a wimp.", "date": "2018-08-16" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert only answers one question from an email that asked seven questions. The sender is penalised for asking too many questions.", "date": "2018-08-17" }, { "synopsis": "Wally used Tina's keyboard as a napkin to wipe his face after eating at his desk.", "date": "2018-08-18" }, { "synopsis": "Wally is in love with a chatbot from a plumbing supply website. She got flirty after him asking questions about faucets.", "date": "2018-08-19" }, { "synopsis": "Wally has an idea on how to fix the process. All his ideas make everyone else but him work harder.", "date": "2018-08-20" }, { "synopsis": "Wally has a great idea for Carol. She doesn't want to hear it as his suggestions are really just insults.", "date": "2018-08-21" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss introduces Jerry the consultant for project Zebra. Dilbert says the project isn't even defined yet.", "date": "2018-08-22" }, { "synopsis": "Wally's update on his project is it is dead in the water. Every time Wally sends a budget request, the Boss loses it.", "date": "2018-08-23" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert reconfigured the server without the Boss's permission. It is easier to ask forgiveness than permission.", "date": "2018-08-24" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO complains they can't market their products the way they want. Dilbert suggests questioning authority.", "date": "2018-08-25" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss complains Dilbert doesn't meet deadlines when in fact he came in early. The Boss still wants it to be Dilbert's fault.", "date": "2018-08-26" }, { "synopsis": "Asok wants to know if any of Wally's mentorees went on to be successful. Depends on the definition of success, Wally says.", "date": "2018-08-27" }, { "synopsis": "The interns who Wally mentored over the years are all dead. Some from self-inflicted wounds, the others were killed by other people.", "date": "2018-08-28" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert's book on time management contains just blank pages. Dogbert just saved Dilbert three hours.", "date": "2018-08-29" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss's staff were unmotivated and working on the wrong things. So he motivated them with all of his leadership skills.", "date": "2018-08-30" }, { "synopsis": "A new hire wants to be introduced to the staff. The Boss doesn't want to do it because he doesn't know most of their names.", "date": "2018-08-31" }, { "synopsis": "The glass is half empty. The glass is half full. The glass is too big.", "date": "2018-09-01" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert created a plan for the data centre construction project. The Boss says plans aren't necessary.", "date": "2018-09-02" }, { "synopsis": "Ted was thrown off his treadmill desk and broke his neck. The cause of death is listed as \"good ergonomics.\"", "date": "2018-09-03" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tries \"radical candour\", to be direct yet kind at the same time.", "date": "2018-09-04" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tries radical candour on Carol. He criticised people all morning and only three went into therapy over it.", "date": "2018-09-05" }, { "synopsis": "Carol has her hair singed off after the Boss gives her radical candour. She said it felt like tingling.", "date": "2018-09-06" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss phones his doctor while Alice is present. She doesn't want him to discuss his medical problems in front of her.", "date": "2018-09-07" }, { "synopsis": "Alice returns from vacation. Wally saved all her work for her to return.", "date": "2018-09-08" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker says he's glad Dilbert is so wrong and wants to tweet about the stupidity.", "date": "2018-09-09" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss tries on a device that converts his thoughts and turns them into computer commands.", "date": "2018-09-10" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert tells a woman he's connected to the Internet collective mind through a device on his head. She says it's the least sexy thing.", "date": "2018-09-11" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert uses his brain-connected computer to check social media on a woman at a party to get her friends to recommend she date a cyborg.", "date": "2018-09-12" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert says he's been using virtual reality for three days with no human contact. Now he feels cheated by interactions with people.", "date": "2018-09-13" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert hates being back in reality after being in virtual reality. Wally wonders if Dilbert is still in a virtual reality.", "date": "2018-09-14" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert may forget how to talk with real people after spending too much time in virtual reality.", "date": "2018-09-15" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker asks for an hour meeting with Dilbert. Dilbert can't spare him an hour because the alternatives are more of value.", "date": "2018-09-16" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert, meeting referee. Dilbert's plan is terrible compared to another plan that doesn't exist.", "date": "2018-09-17" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert, meeting referee. The Boss starts on a time-wasting story.", "date": "2018-09-18" }, { "synopsis": "Alice is too addicted to her phone to get anything accomplished.", "date": "2018-09-19" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss has trouble hiring new people so he resorts to hiring active criminals who haven't yet been caught.", "date": "2018-09-20" }, { "synopsis": "The career criminal, while on tech support, asks for Alice's passwords.", "date": "2018-09-21" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss is looking for the career criminal, last seen talking with Alice. She thinks someone murdered him.", "date": "2018-09-22" }, { "synopsis": "Wally is having a bad technology day, so he volunteers to lock himself in a lead-lined box.", "date": "2018-09-23" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert wonders if his co-workers are getting dumber every day. Catbert says, no, he is just getting to know them better.", "date": "2018-09-24" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker says he quits because the workplace is dehumanising. The Boss doesn't know his name.", "date": "2018-09-25" }, { "synopsis": "Ted complains about Alice calling him a liar. He was lying at the time but there's no company policy against that.", "date": "2018-09-26" }, { "synopsis": "Ted complained about Alice disrespecting him. The Boss thinks there is no policy against lying.", "date": "2018-09-27" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert says the project will meet the deadline if everyone does their job in a timely fashion. That has never happened, though.", "date": "2018-09-28" }, { "synopsis": "Fine line between optimism and idiocy. Fine line between cynicism and realism. Fine line between dead and working.", "date": "2018-09-29" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert's co-workers make it impossible to work. Too many distractions. The Boss asks if he could help by threatening to fire Dilbert.", "date": "2018-09-30" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss announces that all engineers must use the products the company produces. The engineers are upset.", "date": "2018-10-01" }, { "synopsis": "Carol asks for time off because of a death in the family. Catbert says that's not allowed, unless it's her that dies.", "date": "2018-10-02" }, { "synopsis": "The company can only succeed if all the employees give one hundred percent. That's slavery.", "date": "2018-10-03" }, { "synopsis": "The engineers need a bias for action. That's good, as the staff meeting is a waste of time.", "date": "2018-10-04" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert should do what is right, even if his boss tells him to do something stupid. Then the boss should fire him.", "date": "2018-10-05" }, { "synopsis": "A salesman tells Dilbert not to worry how much the company pays for the product. Dilbert needs time to figure out why that doesn't make sense.", "date": "2018-10-06" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker insists that Dilbert tells all his criticism to his face. Dilbert lists how bad the coworker is: hot headed, no talent, toxic personality.", "date": "2018-10-07" }, { "synopsis": "Carol asks Dilbert for help with the printer. Dilbert says sure, after the other tasks that are higher in priority.", "date": "2018-10-08" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks about Dilbert's family. Dilbert is single and childless.", "date": "2018-10-09" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert asks the Boss to write all the things he does in a notebook, then stop doing all those things because they're wrong.", "date": "2018-10-10" }, { "synopsis": "A co-worker asks Wally if he can finish by Friday. Wally says he doesn't anticipate any problems.", "date": "2018-10-11" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert wants to upgrade the robot's software, to make it more human. The robot says Dilbert should become more like robots.", "date": "2018-10-12" }, { "synopsis": "Dogbert took a test to determine if he's a sociopath. He got every question right.", "date": "2018-10-13" }, { "synopsis": "Carol asks Wally for help with a computer problem. Wally says people don't usually ask him for help.", "date": "2018-10-14" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss puts Dilbert on the network upgrade project because everyone else on the project is lazy and useless.", "date": "2018-10-15" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert meets with the project team and proposes he does everyone's work.", "date": "2018-10-16" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert calls co-workers who don't do any actual work \"co-persons\".", "date": "2018-10-17" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss says in order to succeed, you need to work hard every day for many years.", "date": "2018-10-18" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert is accused of yelling at Tina for not having the information he requested. Dilbert says he didn't yell.", "date": "2018-10-19" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert for an estimate of how long Ted would take to complete his task. Dilbert doesn't know.", "date": "2018-10-20" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks Dilbert to run test scripts on the new software. Dilbert agrees, and the Boss says he must do the same for all future releases.", "date": "2018-10-21" }, { "synopsis": "Catbert gives a personality test to a new applicant, to find out how well he would fit into company culture.", "date": "2018-10-22" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss gets an award for cutting costs more than any other department.", "date": "2018-10-23" }, { "synopsis": "Has the Boss made a decision on Dilbert's project, Dilbert asks. No, but the Boss asked his boss for input.", "date": "2018-10-24" }, { "synopsis": "Idiots don't know they are dumb, according to a TED talk. Alice wants the Boss to change the subject.", "date": "2018-10-25" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO asks Wally how to get a cryptocurrency wallet. Wally offers to do it for him.", "date": "2018-10-26" }, { "synopsis": "The CEO tells Wally his cryptocurrency wallet disappeared after putting lots of money in. Wally knew the password and private key.", "date": "2018-10-27" }, { "synopsis": "Dilbert asks to accompany the Boss to a customer meeting. The Boss says he's always gone alone.", "date": "2018-10-28" }, { "synopsis": "A new hire needs to learn his job by osmosis. There's no formal training available.", "date": "2018-10-29" }, { "synopsis": "The company won the job by intentionally underbidding. They'll make up for it by doing extra-shoddy work and overcharging for upgrades.", "date": "2018-10-30" }, { "synopsis": "The Boss asks everyone to work around the clock to meet the launch schedule. The Boss will be home asleep, though.", "date": "2018-10-31" } ] } }